(eng is not my first language/sorry for any mistakes you gonna read on this post) I don't have problem to reject other guys before, but this one keep lingering on my mind.

There's few list of what kind of partner I've always want to have. (I'm talking bout partner for marriage purpose) He doesn't have it mostly, I find that we kinda have a gap in conversation, intelligent wise and humour wise - it's pretty bad but he have a really good manner and he's kind too. He doesn't make me uncomfortable from the very first time untill now. He somehow shows he really want me and want to understand me. He took note every thing bout me, which at this point I'm getting afraid that the more we go further the more he can get hurt because of me if I can't reciprocate his feelings.

He lost his parents at young age, and all his siblings are male, maybe that's explain he's not a soft-spoken person. Well, despite every point I tell him to fix (indirectly, told him it's a tips haha) he accepted and willing to make changes, which make me feel bad after that. Although I feel like he can't meet all my point, he's not my type, but he likes me that much which make me think isn't that something that I want ? To have someone who can like me and accept me for me.

So my rational fellow istp friends, should I go further or not ? I think I'm losing my rationality these days.

Why does my friend act like she doesn’t see me just so I’ll greet her first? She often goes out of her way to be around me so I’ll notice her. Instead of messaging me to say she wants to see me or simply saying 'Good morning, where are you?' she does all these things. Do .ISTPs feel awkward, shy, or even a little dumb in situations like this, or what’s the deal? I’m tired of trying to figure it out

I flip flop a lot between ISTP and thinking I’m an INTJ. I have a lot of INTJ traits and in high school I was typed as an INTJ multiple times. The biggest reason I think sometimes I’m an INTJ is that I can be highly judgmental and sometimes over self-confident to the point of being mean. My father is an INTJ and I get told by my mom all the time that I’m a carbon copy of him personality wise. I also have OCD which seems counterintuitive to ISTPs. I did read that ISTPs can be mistyped as INTJs so maybe that is it? Anyone else experience this?

I know this depends upon the situation. But, I'm wondering what your preferred approach is. Do you take time or state what you need in direct words and instantaneously?

Sup, im a male Estj and kinda keen to meet female istps where can I meet yall. Im into outdoor activites, action sports, video games, the gym etc… Any places of suggestions that are common?

And also, do you think that a person who cannot recognize such a strong Ti in themselves is not an ISTP? or could Ti be unconscious?

I enjoy teaching my subject, but I get tired of talking to people after a certain point. How do you balance it?

What careers would you have chosen otherwise if not teaching?

Hello! I am not great at Reddit, so mods, feel free to critique/take this down as needed.

This post is specifically for gay/bi/pan (men who love men) ISTPs—

Question: where would someone who is interested in dating you meet you out in the wild? where do you feel most comfortable meeting people? what do you look for in a romantic partner? what are red flags that show up for you? if someone were interested in dating you, how would you want them to go about connecting with you?

If you wouldn't mind, as you're sharing this, if you know, would you state your Socionics type as well? No worries if you can't, of course. You are all beautiful and cool people. Thanks for responding, and I hope y'all have a great night!!

Have you ever considered how closely your pseudoscientific belief system, MBTI, resembles pseudoscientific racial theories? You have a pseudoscientific classification system based on the unfalsifiable concept of “cognitive types”, with one’s type being supposedly fixed from birth, influencing one’s strengths. Pseudoscientific theories treat race (a concept modern human geneticists do not use) as fixed from birth and as influencing one’s strengths. The parallels could not be clearer.

Even the supposedly tolerant “Gifts Differing”—where the author claims that different types are inherently superior to each other in different ways—still echos ancient Roman “racial” theories, which viewed Africans as wise but weak and Northern Europeans as strong but dumb. I am not saying that people do not have different abilities: what I am saying is that you should not use a pseudoscientific, essentialist framework to estimate people’s abilities and group them based on this.

I could talk about how statistics claiming men are more likely to identify as thinkers and women are more likely to identify as feelers perpetuate gender essentialism. I could talk about how MBTI is a tool employers use to oppress the working class: qualified candidates are often rejected for being the wrong pseudoscientific type. This pseudoscience has consequences.

Just remember all of this the next time you judge someone based on their “MBTI”. Just remember all of this whenever you mock an entire type. To an outside observer, you sound just like a racial “scientist”.

Most of my life I've been sedentary, didn't talk much, hardly spoke to people except my friends. They weren't a friend group, they hardly knew eachother so there were 3 different people I was friends with in middle school. During that time I was going through a fervent chase for a girlfriend arc that lasted all the way til the end of sophomore year.

At the start it was a naive plan of just "climbing the social ladder" so I could become attractive to girls, because that process was obviously going to mold me into my ideal self right? No, I just wasted so much fricking time and I hardly made any personal growth. Ok backstory done now for the plot.

I feel like becuase of the way I am I made many decisions that had unforseen consequences to them, most of this was due to immaturity and lack of wisdom but I'm a junior now transitioning into 2nd semester and I have nothing socially to show for it, at one point when I was a student manager for soccer my humor and social skills felt like they were improving quite a bit, the thing is I am a introvert but you already know that so you prolly can guess that was utterly draining, my grades suffered for it and I never caught back up. Bad mistake but at least I made some acquaintances (not worth).

I've never felt like I've had the time to study and practice comedy for myself and I still don't, when I try to socialize with my friend who I'm trying to repair the relationship with since I neglected that friendship for over 4 months I grew more and more disconnected with him, and I don't want to lose him friendwise becuase he is one of my few irl friends I would really consider a friend, and we go way back. Becuase he is as extroverted as you can get personality wise, he learned to be funny through various means, not to mention it was likely included in his DNA to be a funny guy, where as I'm the opposite, so I've been struggling to make this friendship fulfilling for him. Reason is I don't want to be a burden to him because I don't want him to feel forced to hangout with me becuase he doesn't want to hurt my feelings, the way I want this to be is mutualistic not parasitic or boring or draining, I don't want to become "that therapy friend" alot of introverts falls into, at that point your just a therapist.

The thing is and I don't think he knows; knows how hard it is for me to just "learn to be funny". It just fundamentally feels like an insurmountable task that requires enormous dedication I don't have the energy or time for since life is busy, with a lack of personal privacy and extreme adhd to go along with it. So

What the hell do I do to become funny? I'm posting this here becuase I am a ISTP-T, I probably more than likely have Inferior Fe and Superior Ti based off my own soul reading and research. I have been through this before so I am well advised, though currently I cant go further without help of people who have likely been in similar situations and persevered through it.

Any advice would be helpful! He is just too darn picky that he's got me going to reddit for advice lol

He is a tech guy. Gamer. Food and music enthusiast. Likes things that make his life more efficient. Cars.

His birthday was in October and I got him an ice maker. Easily his favorite thing I ever got him!

Any fun gadgets to peek his interest? I want to give him things to, "play with" on Christmas if that makes sense.

View Poll

I literally never laugh, but for some reason at school i can just smile for no reason or keep laughing at the smallest joke even though the rest of the class already stopped. Because of that, i sometimes feel like a weirdo and i dont understand why is it only happening at school. Any ideas why?

how do you know if your personality if just just being you or your depression.
before knowing abt mbti i thought my trauma is cause for my major trust issue but ISTP is also cold and detached.

my assumption is that i was a diff type and my trauma as forged me into istp. what yall think?

They make no effort to engage with you, and have not in fact reached out to you. They posted about you once in high school, didn’t doxx you.

WARNING: HI ISTPs, my name is Kito (INFP)! I feel like you'd get my humor but just to be absolutely sure...this is a comedy writing. Not to be taken seriously. Etc. (Also I used Chat GPT to fix grammatical errors and format but the words are all my own!) Hope you enjoy!

ISTJs

Why do you guys argue like you’re defending a Ph.D. thesis… and still manage to be wrong? You’re smart—so why waste it being stubborn just for the sake of being stubborn? Like, Google exists! But instead, you’d rather dig in your heels and die on this completely avoidable hill. Come on, ISTJs, you’re better than this.

Take this advice: Reading every book on how to farm doesn’t make you a farmer. Going out and planting some damn seeds, hoeing the ground, and harvesting crops does. Knowledge does not mean experience.

ESFJs

Ah, the kings and queens of “butt-hurt silence.” You know an ESFJ is mad when they go from social butterflies to brooding on the couch, staring into the abyss of their victimhood. Pro tip: Stop sulking. Also, stop lying—you’re terrible at it.

ESTPs

ESTPs are the alpha predators of the MBTI world. Your main purpose in life is to re-populate the earth, I think. Your vibe screams “frat bro meets motivational speaker.” Just… tone down the douchebag energy, maybe?

ESFPs

ESFPs are the literal opposite of Incels—being single just doesn’t compute for you. You walk into a room, and suddenly everyone’s in love with you.

If someone made out with everyone’s boyfriend at a party, then passed out in the grass covered in their own vomit, they are 99.9% likely to be an ESFP.

ISTPs

You guys are weird, man. Usually tall, dark, and handsome with a sociopathic vibe. They're fantastic multi-taskers who you'll probably find speeding down a neighborhood street delivering Domino’s while on the phone with their girlfriend and hitting a meth pipe (they fucking love drugs). Truly impressive.

ISFJs

You guys are my ultimate romantic kryptonite. Sweet, caring, and then bam—in the bedroom, it’s like, “Wait, what?!” ISFJs are the type to bake you cookies and then let you suck their toes like it’s no big deal. I like to do that. Thank you for being open to it, ISFJs. I appreciate it.

But then it all flips. One day, you’re worshipping me like I’m some kind of god, and the next, I’ve somehow become Hitler because I didn’t psychically figure out what you wanted me to do. Fuck.

ESTJs

ESTJs, why are you so mean? Sure, you have your few little special people you’re nice to, but why not extend that to more people? Most ESTJs I know have some dark secret they don’t want anyone to know about—like a bad gambling addiction or something.

ENFJs

Imma quote L from Death Note, ENFJs: “Has there ever been a moment, from the moment you were born, where you’ve actually told the truth?” You guys have one huge problem—being YOU.

Everyone knows you’re fake. Everyone knows you’re a snake. Everyone just wants you to be real.

ENTJs

You’re the boss of bosses, ENTJ. Scary but oddly magnetic, you somehow manage to bully INFPs into becoming their best selves. You’ll roast us into oblivion and then say, “But also, I respect you.” I mean… same.

ISFPs

Hipsters. You guys think irony is the highest form of art, and you probably own at least three owl-themed objects for no reason. Somehow, though, you’re like the alpha-INFPs: INFPs who can fix a car or chop wood. Honestly, it’s unfair.

INTJs

INTJs, I hate you, and I’m not even sorry. You act like you’re the supreme intellectual overlords of the universe. Newsflash: You aren’t. Your arrogance is only surpassed by your inferiority complex. You're the only type that genuinely seems to think it’s fun to be evil. Fuck you, INTJs. Just… fuck you.

INFJs

INFJs are enlightened gurus with life-changing advice, yet somehow can't apply any of it to their own lives. Stop ghosting your friends after some random argument. That shit is hurtful.

You’re incredibly judgmental behind closed doors but too afraid to voice your opinions in public. All your friends walk on eggshells around you because everyone knows you're sensitive as hell. At least INFPs can stand up for themselves without permanently ghosting someone.

ENTPs

ENTPs are chaos incarnate. You’ll push someone just to see how far they’ll go before losing their mind. You love to troll for the sake of trolling. And I. Love. You.

ENFPs

ENFPs are like that one friend you’re scared to introduce to your other friends because you know everyone will like them more than you. You’re charming, hilarious, and just unhinged enough to make us worry you might have cancer every other week.

INFPs

Listen, fellow INFPs, can you stop dragging me into debates about niche hobbies I couldn’t care less about? You’re fantastic conversationalists until it becomes an argument. Then you turn into drama queens who take everything personally. The ultimate attention whores.

And let’s face it, we’re just fucked up enough to get satisfaction from negative attention, too. Then we can use our “haters” to guilt people into giving us more sympathy. We are exhausting, and we know it.

INTPs

I was gonna write something extremely funny here, but then I took inspiration from you guys and started it… then quit halfway through.

Like stuff that we can naturally do (I don't feel like it's always the screwdriver mechanic sh t I feel like there's more to it than that?)

Idkidk

The hardest thing for me to say has always been "I love you," more than offending anyone, more than stabbing someone. I don't have any trauma with it or anything, it just seems like I've always had it since childhood. I just hate expressing affection. It's physically painful to have to say that you love or like someone, I just don't want to feel weak and saying it is exactly what makes me feel. People have waited for me to say it and I always try to change the subject or avoid it as much as possible, once when someone waited for me to say it in a message I spent 10 minutes in agony, and in the end I sent it just out of politeness.

I've never had a problem with anger. Honestly, that's the most present feeling in my life. My problem has always been affection. This is NOT something I do because I'm trying to avoid feelings or anything like that, it's natural. Since childhood, I've always hated declaring affection for someone, showing that i care about someone is also painful, it makes me want to punch the wall. Anyone relate to this?

The hardest thing for me to say has always been "I love you," more than offending anyone, more than stabbing someone. I don't have any trauma with it or anything, it just seems like I've always had it since childhood. I simply hate expressing feelings of affection. It's physically painful to have to say that you love or like someone, I just don't want to feel weak and saying it is exactly what makes me feel. Several people have waited for me to say it and I always try to change the subject or avoid it as much as possible, once when someone waited for me to say it in a message I spent 10 minutes in agony, and in the end I sent it just out of politeness.

I've never had a problem with hate or anger. Honestly, those are the two most present feelings in my life. My problem has always been affection. This is NOT something I do because I'm trying to avoid feelings or anything like that, it's natural. Since childhood, I've always hated declaring affection for someone. Anyone relate to this?

i've always thought i was an istp cuz im independent and i prefer to be alone. im also detached emotionally, have a knack for thrills and hands on experiences and my friends don't think i have emotions.

sometimes i feel like i act like an estp so i don't know.

not sure cuz my family calls me emotional if i get angry. or snappy when they're being emotional and hard to understand.

so im not sure, thoughts?

Hi all!

Gay ENFJ guy here. I am recently back in the dating pool, and after some intense inner work, I decided that I would like to try dating an ISTP guy next as it seems the best match on whom I would like by my side.

I am good at strategizing, but tactics is your realm. And who is better to provide tips that the pool of people from which I would like to pick?

So, here is what I want:

“I had my fun times. I had a great first long term relationship. I am a complete and emotionally mature person. I have a good job that I enjoy (most of the time) and is giving me financial stability. I do not “miss” anything.

That said, I would love to add a relationship to my life. Not necessarily long term. But a meaningful relationship nonetheless.

I love to take care of people around me, especially in the emotional realm. I want them to see themselves, love them as they are, and help them to grow.  My big ethical NO is maliciousness, all the other sentiments are fair game to me. I love to imagine how the future is going to be, imagining how things could be in an environment of true curiosity and without any moral judgment.

I want an equal on my side. A man who is grounded into reality, and who is not afraid of saying the hard truth when necessary. This without making it personal, as it is often the case. Loyal, logical and ready to sit down at negotiating table when the need arises, without going into the passive aggressive route. Able to forgive mistakes when they happen, if the intent behind was good. Forgive. Not forget. And able to takes its responsibilities, and able to accept forgiveness when he will be on the wrong side (even if it will be hard to admit).

An equal that is not always a real equal. While I demand to be respected outside the bedroom, inside I crave for passion. To unleash my counterpart inner beast, in a constant game of provocation, rousing and dominance checks. Not afraid to play rough, but also ready to switch mode and to provide comfort and true care once the "high" has been achieved. “

Question n°1: is this attractive to you? (yes, this is also a kind of marketing research to see if my target analysis is correct)

Question n°2: how can I best convey this message in a dating profile?

Question n°3: Do you have any suggestion on how can I best recognize you in real life? Too big of a question, I know, but any tips is welcome.

Question n°4: do you have any other tips on things that I am missing, and I do not know I am missing?

Thanks everybody for your help!

I think one INTP likes to talk about ideas and is more big picture oriented where ISTP like to be more hands on with stuff and is practical.

I like ideas and is practical.