Is it just me or do INTJs suck the soul out of your happiness? ! I mean don't get my wrong I love intjs, they are some of my closest people but oftentimes as a carefree ENFP the struggles of an INTJ and their deep rooted sorrows really get exhausting, I feel drained.

Am I terrible for feeling this way?

I'm 24 after work I go the gym then I come back home and have nothing to do. It feels like whatever i'm doing either watching something or playing a game is just a way to deal with how empty and lonely I am so I don't even want to do this. The few friends I have live elsewhere so I don't go out. I am not in a relationship and never was. Any advice?

An enfp I know always suggests a hang out or to help me with something etc but literally doesn't answer their phone the day we're supposed to meet up. They never explain why and just continue on as if nothing happened. I'm starting to feel dumb for giving them the benefit of the doubt each and every time

What the title says. Would be cool to know how different enneagrams affect the presentation of the ENFP personality.

I took the test a while ago, and got 4w5. Compared to the 16Personalities description, I seem to be more stoic and dark, in a way. I’m a writer and an aspiring journalist, and I’m mostly drawn to the murkier aspects of society, the human condition and life in general. I also don’t like sharing my feelings with others; I keep that shit locked down and hidden.

A friend actually told me the other day that I’m caring in an almost “fatherly” and serious way, which I guess is true in some respects; in certain ways I resemble my ISTJ father. For example, I’m pretty much the designated trip sitter for friends who are curious about drugs, and I’ve gotten a lot of good reviews. I’m gonna be honest; I love drugs myself, and it’s important to me that my friends and I do everything in our power to trip and get high in the safest way possible. I’m 100% the friend who will tell people that they’ve had enough to drink and to not mix certain drugs with others. I’m pretty nerdy about drugs for this reason. With that said, I’m not always serious; I can be very lively and friendly as well, but I have to know the person well to behave that way.

Overall I’d say I’m very chill and easygoing, but I’m NOT easy about my value of standing up for the underdog. I don’t get angry per se when people don’t- or “kick” an outsider, but I will talk to them about it. I don’t like to force others to do anything or to behave in a certain way, but I’ll calmly ask people certain questions to make them reconsider it, e.g “what do you mean by that comment?”, “do you think that’s an okay thing to say?”, etc. Although I’m not exactly sympathetic to, say, addicts, and am aware that it’s their own responsibility to change their lives, I just find it morally reprehensible to kick people who are already struggling. It’s just not a way to treat other people. I think my uncomfortableness towards forcing people to believe certain things, acting in certain ways and sharing my opinions is something that expresses itself in my writing too, which is centered around those who are struggling in their lives.

With that said, I do have many stereotypical ENFP traits such as being disorganized, being a master procrastinator, creativity, open-mindedness, restlessness and a good communicator and mediator. I’d also say I’m positive and optimistic, but in a more quiet manner.

Hello all,

One of the next videos on my Channel is going to be on some useful tools to help the ENFP in their daily lives.

You can see me and my wife here - just a random night where she drove so I could do the GPS in a city filled with 1 way streets. Of course, she thought she knew a better way, and we ended up stuck on a one way street, lol. 🤗

You can watch that quick 1-min interaction here if you're so inclined, lol. https://youtu.be/BZXx0XXy40c?si=whj2kFYo97E9OaaE

I'll have a lot more videos on ENFP's, and maybe do some videos with both of us eventually. 🙂

So, what questions would you have about one of the most commonly suggested relationships for the ENFP/INFJ? What can I answer for you all? 🤔😀

Hope your day is wonderful to you.

Take care. 🙂🤗

It’s much easier not to really try and not to take things seriously, because you can always laugh it off as you not caring enough. But it’s been my aspiration as of late to be intentional and make choices that will help me grow as a person. But recovering from failure is extraordinarily difficult. I alternate between blaming myself, others involved, and the universe, circling shame, devastation, and a manic, short lived optimism. On top of it, I am ashamed to think I’ve lost good opinion for not performing well.

What do you tell yourself when you go for something and don’t get it? There was a time when I would rewrite the narrative in my head as something else, so I’d feel better. But the reality is, I just failed. I did everything I felt I could do at the time but I failed. In hindsight, I could’ve done better and more but thinking that way does me no good in the present.

The last time this happened, it took me a month to get over it. That was maybe two months ago today. I don’t want to waste more of my time and energy fixating on something I can’t change but it keeps me up at night.

I am clearly full in spontanious-brainstorming Ne but as I grew up I became a bit like INFP. There are few reasons I believe:

• since early childhood I was extremly, extremly open emotionally, just free stream of conciousness, but in social realities of Poland I felt it can not be welcomed (realities based on "playing in the dark" kind of game in which authenticity is not encouraged),
• I am enneagram 9w1 who at the same time is very individualistic, straightforward and not able to just go along, accepting some moral compromise,
• I am a sensitive slim male, not corresponding to male standards which are still very strong in Poland,
• I suffered from acne during my adolescence which severily damaged my self-esteem,
• my parents are ISTJ and INFP, very kind but not helpful.

Generally, I crashed into so many invisible walls I became more and more shy with time.

That doesnt mean I was fully pent up though. All my strong emotional and intuitive energy I channeled into intellectual persuit (in field of psychology), being always very outspoken. Yet it costed me so much pain, so much pain (and health), and now I feel I was deprived of the chance to grow in tune with my core traits, so to build my personality and adapt to the reality on my own terms.

Since two years I have been waking up from trauma of ENFP forced to stay in shell. With the help of my girlfriend and realities of Germany where I moved.

Anyone of You have similar experiences?

Do any of you all DO NOT like being touch? Like no touches or hugs or being held? I just feel like I am being trapped and suffocated. How do you tell people you don’t like it w/o sounding like a total bitch?

I love this character. He's very bubbly and friendly. He's an optimist, at least initially. I was also very talkative, but like him, I shut down more because I was criticized. Like Obito, I had a friend and a lover betray me (but not at the same time like in the show). It was also a time where I explored (and embraced) darker parts of my personality. I also was the black sheep of a very powerful family.

I think I keep longing for a fairytale love since childhood. As I grow older all these romcom movies feel like a joke. Is there anyone here who has gotten to live a fairytale love story? If yes what personality type should one be seeking?

At work, volunteering, and even often among my friend groups, I feel like I have to play the ESTJ role to keep things on track and be taken seriously...

It's exhausting TBH.

What’s the difference between a close friend and a casual friend for you? How can someone become close to you?

?

I am infj and my best friend (enfp) has been depressed for a few months now and it breaks my heart seeing them this down and their spark totally gone. it’s been like this for a while now, they are heartbroken and really struggling. what things help you most when you are sad or down or depressed or heartbroken?

Here are mine:

1. The Black Parade - My Chemical Romance

2. I Disagree- Poppy

3. Live Through This - Hole

4. Fallen - Evanescence

5. Nature Tapes - Lemon Demon

I know that people come from different house holds so their outlooks on this are different but do u swear? I do sometimes because its kind of hard to show that im actually mad. but nothing that bad just the occasional damn. how about you guys.

Ayyo ENFPs. I want to survey something over here(if that's a correct choice of words for my case) getting bored & by that I mean super fucking bored. So I thought I should make some digital template or something of that sort that can be used as a baseline to further make it into an enhanced digital art, some kind of an organizer's template, a customisable print on demand kind of thingy, YOU NAME IT. Now the problem is that it's just a vague thing that popped up in my head during vacations just like that but a bug in me says it should spring to action or I might waste my time away in procrastination. So tell me ENFPs, what is the digital thingy that you preferably would have for yourself that'd serve you in some way or the other!

Recently I’ve been dealing with this question. At first I believed that a majority of my selfless acts are selfless but now I believe subconsciously it’s selfish. For example, my friend needed me to drop of their charger at work which I happily did. But, let’s say I needed the same thing and my friend wouldn’t do it, I wouldn’t help him the next time. Does that make my act selfish? I wouldn’t do it the next time so I don’t get used but isn’t that a selfish act? Also, empathy is the act of sharing our experiences to help others with theirs. Bringing up our own experiences to help others seems selfish on paper but it’s really not. I don’t know I’m just bored and want others thoughts on this

30M

I'm going through a phase in which I don't feel satisfied by talking to anyone. People don't react in the way I want, and it upsets me so much! And I get so frustrated! Either they don't understand me or give me stock answers. I have to power through their stock responses or (seemingly) dismissive answers and find the spirit to keep expressing, and it exhausts me. And this is happening with close friends as well :/

I don't know why it's not a seemless thing for me as an adult, as a friend told me it should be by now. But I am just not used to being heard or given the space to talk (childhood stuff). I am only generating awareness of this recently, and have started to speak more from the heart.

It could even be that my lens is imperfect - i am over fixating and looking for perfection! Maybe I am extra sensitive to this stuff. This could just be every adult's experience. But I hate the feeling of struggling to have a real conversation.

Sorry, it sounds so dramatic, but I don't know how else to understand this. Do I just need to grow up? How? I'm at a loss for how to grow up! I thought I had

And all of this is after making peace with the fact that most people are bad listeners. They either talk over you, or don't pay attention. I just have to live with it. Even that was so hard to make peace with. But when it happens with close friends, it hurts.

Anyone went through this? Anything you can share?

Hey everyone, I usually can tell if 2 people are into each other, but when it comes to myself I tend to generalize to things like: "She's just being nice lol", as I'm pretty incapable of telling stuff like this when it is about me.

One of my friends recently wanted to get back in touch after I explained her how I felt about her, wanting something more than a friendship. We didn't spoke for 2 months after this because she was already in a relationship.

After that she asked to see each other and get things clear. 3 minutes into the convo she mentioned she became single 2 weeks ago. On top of this she mentions that she needs a +1 for an upcoming marriage, but not saying clearly that she wants me to come with her, because she already asked someone else.

I'm too old for playing games and I seriously cannot see this from an objective point of view.

We're both 29 (yeah I know that this is like a teenager problem but here I am). She's an ISFJ-T (I'm an ENFP-T).

How do you feel about this? How do you manage to understand if someone is into you without ruining the relationship?

As a lead character. Couldn’t find any. Help me out if you any. Thanks ☺️

I’m wondering is there any chance of good relationship between me and 18 yo boy

Hello all. And welcome to our domain. You may have run into an ENFP, or an ENFP may have come to you, or perhaps you are an ENFP yourself, or are just curious and interested in us ENFP's. Welcome all and I hope you enjoy your stay. We can be a handful sometimes, but we always mean well and truly care about you. If you have any problems or issues, please feel free to make a post and let us know. You will be sure that one of us (or many of us) will be their shortly to advise, help, or support you in your difficulty.

Now that the preliminaries are out of the way, let's discuss this important matter at hand... What Is an ENFP? Let's start with perhaps the most famous description of us... the ENFP description on 16personalities. I'll just put a link to it here. https://www.16personalities.com/enfp-personality

I read it over again to make sure and I will say that in general, this description while not entirely inaccurate, sort of loses the main picture of what makes us an ENFP, and barely scratches the surface of what actually drives us and what it means to live a life as an ENFP... the deep thoughts... the serious decisions we make almost on a daily basis. Our down time, the impassioned ideals that we strongly wish for, the frequent debates we get involved with to defend truth and justice, the decisions we have to make to perhaps abandon what we want to do for the sake of someone in need... the times that we have to withdraw from people for a time to recharge especially when we have had to deal with toxicity. No mention is really made of the strong moral principles that we generally have. We are all lovers of love. And not this silly willy nilly frilly hippy happy love... But the kind of love that makes a person want to help another. The kind of love that makes someone want to bring a person to joy and peace of spirit. The kind of love that will do anything necessary to help our neighbor. But that's not all. The love is founded on truth and justice as well, and while we can be understanding of people, if something needs to be corrected, we will make it a point to point it out. Our mode of life is "Love they neighbor as thyself." Honestly, if we were in the wrong, we don't mind a correction that addresses it. So, why shouldn't you be able to learn from it too? It's not just soft and comforting and understanding, it's also serious and can be firm at times. With our strong Fi, we generally know ourselves and what we want. And what we want *ultimately* is to help other people. Sure, we'll want to enjoy ourselves at times too. Who doesn't? But our greatest fulfillment is doing things with other people. We like being around them, and as an added bonus, maybe the people like being around us? And if someone comes in our radar that needs help? Well then there we are! Pretty cool.

The Light of Chosen Friend Groups

Speaking of "doing things with other people"... We may often get involved in something... like a friend group, or game club, discord server, or something, and become one of the most active and involved members there, getting obsessed for a time over it and adding to the community, coming up with new ideas about things and perhaps helping organize concepts in like game play or theories or something (We love using our Ne for stuff like that), and help people out as well in whatever issues they may have, whether it's a question that needs answered, a technical issue that needs fixed that we can help with, or if they are having a rough day. We just love brightening people's day. :) However, don't be surprised if after something comes up in which the ENFP feels that it's time to move on after doing whatever it can to help that community, the ENFP just leaves... Perhaps they will come back for a visit or two, but ultimately... the ENFP journey continues on to another community that might need some light.

Cause for Shifting Focus in Projects

And, speaking of moving from one thing to another, I should address the difficulty many of us have of being able to finish most of the ideas we start. This is affected by multiple factors. 2 of which seem to stand out. 1) The idea keeps getting new ideas added to it, or an arrangement is decided to be faulty so it gets scrapped and restarted anew multiple times, continuously evolving until it's nothing like the beginning and it just keeps growing and expanding so we can hardly keep up with it. 2) Something may cause us to feel that people won't appreciate the project we're working on, or that people won't understand or fully benefit from it, or that the work needed for the project outweighs its perceived value for others. This is because our ultimate goal in... pretty much anything we do... is to do or make something that will help or benefit others. That Ne drive to create order in abstract concepts is strong and we want to make it not just for ourselves but for others! We get our fulfillment there. Sure, we may love our own time in exploring concepts, games, books, and things on our own too (and certainly constantly collecting Ne data), but if we're in project mode, it's ultimately for others' benefit. Same goes with our interactions with people.

Interacting with Others

I'll skip over the one on one connections we have often have with people we choose to help (since it's the most recognizable) and jump straight into a more normal setting. Let's say meeting strangers... Well right there we have a problem. Despite being supposedly "extroverts" we want a *reason* to interact with someone. Do we know this person? Are we working for or with this person? Does that person need help? etc. Otherwise if they are just chilling or whatever, we aren't the type normally to just walk up to somebody casually and ask about their day. That sounds pretty stressful actually. XD. If there isn't a solid reason for it, then we'd just rather stick with ourselves and whatever we we're doing. After all, why should we bother people if we got nothing important to say or do for or with them. On the flip side, if we are just doing our own thing and there happen to be people around, depending on the setting, we may just absolutely not care and do whatever we want, whether that's running/skipping to our destination, dancing to some grocery store music, singing a song, or whatnot, half oblivious to people's reactions to us. We don't mind just being ourselves when we are around people we are comfortable with too, so we'll laugh and crack jokes over minor things and in general just be high energy and often enthusiastic over whatever might be going on (If we don't like what's going on, we'll be sure to let you know and give a different opinion on how things should be done. XD).

Debating

We have strong opinions about things, and if we value something enough and see someone stating something contrary to it, or perhaps against one of our core values, we won't be afraid to call them out on it and debate the reasons against it and for our cause (we are huge logic fans. Even if we might make an illogical point now and then, we actually appreciate it when we are countered with a more logical approach). This is a common occurrence both on the web and irl which may lead meany ENFP's to think that they are the debater ENTP's for a while. Like: "I thought ENFP's were these compassionate flighty butterfly thought people?" Well actually there is a time to play and a time to fight. We won't constrict ourselves to one modality. We're experts at living in the moment, and if something needs to be said, then by golly we will say it and be serious about it too! We will do our best to show how we see it, how we came to the conclusion, why it's logical, etc. We aren't against being proven wrong, but it had better make logical sense. If not, then we won't respect your opinion.

Inside the mind of an ENFP

We love both order and chaos. More specifically we love making order out of chaos, or making chaos out of an illogical order. As we look at the world around us, or indeed, even in a small project we may be working on, we think about various connections to different facets of the thing and attempt to bring the various seemingly chaotic arrangements and relationships into a logical conclusion or arrangement... Sometimes such arrangements can seem chaotic, but there will likely be some logical undertones of how or why the connections were made. We are often obsessed with patterns in the midst of trying to work things out. If something sticks out like a sore thumb then we assume that there must be a logical outcome and try again to make it work. (If you are confused of what on earth I'm talking about, then I'm sorry. There are just too many varied examples to give a reasonable example of what I'm trying to talk about, so either you get it or you don't. XD) We usually use these thought processes to problem solve for almost anything even in those heart to heart conversations as we try to search for solutions to a person's problems, giving advice that neatly fits into what they need and navigating the emotional waves. It's interesting because while we can be deeply emotional for those people, we can also be more or less stoic and pause in thought as our brain takes in the information and comes up with an answer. During many conversations after I have been told something/asked for advice/thinking about what a person needs, I'll often say "Hmm..." and maybe "Hmmmmmmm..." Hmm means that I am entering into zen mode and trying to read deeply into everything... what was said, what was left out, the energy I feel off a person, the situation the person is in, the mindset of the people the person deals with, or whatever else I think I need to figure out what needs to happen before answering as honestly as I can to help them. This is called reading your mind (Not really, but if feels like it sometimes. XD). Just let us cook and we'll think of something, and if we can't right away, we'll ask a question or two to try to fill in missing information. Yes the questions may seem off the wall sometimes, but they are important questions for what we need to figure out the problem. This is also why we have so many uncompleted projects. We gather some information, put it together, but are still left with so many holes that we need more information to fill it in before we feel we can do a project or story justice. We can find things out perhaps, but after a while it gets kinda draining, especially if some information is hard to come by. And this is also why we often hastily put together some ideas of how we want things to turn out, assemble what we can in an incomplete fashion, and then just post it for others to see and comment on and inform on what is missing and tell me what we need to know because we are searching for more data and information to help finish the project. At the same time we are also looking for enthusiasm and encouragement because we want to make sure that what we are doing will be appreciated by others and that they care. Otherwise... if no one cares about the result (when we think they should) then what would be the point of continuing it honestly? So, don't blame us just for being lazy (sometimes we are... if something isn't easy we are liable to just give up at times). Sometimes we are just so obsessed with making sure a thing is perfect that anything less isn't good enough. We may have made a lot of progress on something but if we run into an incongruency or it's turning out much worse than we imagined, then we will not hesisitate to scrap the entire thing, make some (sometimes drastic) revisions, and start over again.

Open for Revision

Such indeed is this description here. I'm not even sure I have covered all the bases yet and will do the typical ENFP thing and publish it before I think it's finished. It's probably too detailed and wordy, Have too much stuff, or not enough. Maybe I'm even missing an entire point or two. Maybe I'm even missing the underlying point of the whole thing. Who knows? Honestly I will never be fully satisfied especially in a description that is subject to change and perhaps may even be wrong in places. If any ENFP doesn't resonate with something in here, PLEASE! Let me know and I will edit/change it as needed. I feel like I should also put something up to show what an ENFP stereotype aught to look like because what we got now, hardly resonates with any of us except in very specific situations rather than a general feeling of "Yeah, I could see myself doing that! haha!" It's more often like: "Well... I mean... sure... I could do that but I'm more likely to do it another way and act completely different." Also we get tired of being seen as the hippy freak when we feel more like the hero that really cares about helping people and doing the right thing. I could say more, but I suppose I will leave it for now and come back and probably make a few edits later. Please share your thoughts and how it made you feel. :)

Jung test says I am ENFP but all others say I am ENTP. I see signs from both... I am so confused! Help me. :'). I have tried the IDR also. Jung says I am Ni and Fi dom? It's confusing as ENFP are Ne dom. I am sure I make unhinged jokes and I am a feeler too. I like debating but I don't usually pick fights if it will give rise to conflicts.

Hey fellow ENFPers. I'm working on developing my Ne. Even though it's my driver, I went through a lot of trauma between 7-14yrs old, and as a result, I suppressed my Ne and built upon Te instead. Ne has always felt a bit dangerous - I was basically uncared for and my Ne led me to dangerous situations, and my mum is a toxic ENFP, which doesn't help. As an adult, I feel like I can tap into the ideation side of Ne if it aligns with a goal, otherwise it's being suppressed. I spend a lot of my time learning and exploring quietly, and I'm very confident in business when I lead with Te. I'd love to hear any advice or stories around gaining confidence in your ideas, and not being too worried around if they work, etc. Tia

I have a good life, but sometimes I can’t help but fantasize about an apocalyptic scenario in which titles were abolished and we all just had to survive. I do ok in this current world of qualifications and titles, but if all those were stripped away in some chaotic scenario like a zombie apocalypse or something I feel like I’d be one of the best survivors, coming up with the most creative ways to survive and fight off enemies, etc. Plus the novelty of day to day survival would be so interesting. Do any other ENFPs ever fantasize about a chaotic scenario like that?