So, for over 6 months.. I cannot decide whether my tritype is 126 or 125 or 316. But basically, I need help whether I am 1w2 or 3w2. I have been told I am a 3w2 with a strong 1 fix... But it doesn't seem that way... You can ask questions to get to know me better. Or just state the differences.

Help me type this guy I know please. I have an idea but I'm not an expert soo. I can't really ask him to take the test atm but maybe I will in the future.

-'he's like prince charming'. That's the very first impression you get. And every single person who meets him says that.

-perfect manners like a gentleman. If you're in the room with him he will do all the physical work.

-Speaks with confident voice. Can be kinda braggy at times.

-feels more at home with women. Doesn't like spending too much time with other guys at work, many of whom are mysogynistic. Very respectful to everyone regardless.

-Does have a few guy best friends outside of work but those guys are what I would say...more in touch with their feminine side.

-wouldn't hesitate to express anger at work or in personal settings if something pisses him off

-acts on emotions very quick (before thinking stuff through)

-Can't ever see him apologising or taking accountability for mistakes he made.

If you think he is any other type than the ones mentioned, then I'd love to hear those too!

Edit: I want to add: -is quite religious and preachy but has cheating tendencies (has cheated on ex-gfs in the past and likely will do it again)

-makes decisions on his own and expects everyone to follow them

What are the main differences, how do you distinguish between these ENFJ subtypes?

Im a M ENFP and shes a F ENFJ. Were into eachother and i think if i play my cards right this will turn into a relationship. We get along well, like really well, prolly because I grew up w ENFJs. Thing is, I never dated one. Never had the chance til now. I being the ENFP i am, i wanna push the boundaries and create more intimate connection emotionally and physically wink wink. Thing is, with all the other ENFJs in my life, it took quite some time for them to open up to me. You all wear a mask to hide yourself, just so you can help everyone else. I eventually dug thru those mines to get to them but i feel like in a romantic relationship, it operates a bit differently. I most likely will keep mining at the thick rock that is her mask, but i would love to hear how yall feel abt this. Usually, i create that connection with people by being myself, being open and honest, it usually creates that trust. But with ENFJs i notice, that doesnt exactly help them open up to me. I guess im just being an impatient enfp that wants to rush things. Its not required for a solution hear, more of a discussion to hear the diff perspectives on this . Would love to hear yalls thoughts thnx

Edit: i keep adding shit, also were in our 20s

Is it typical of ENFJs to cut people out of their life, as in stop all contact, if they really pissed them off? This only happened to me a few times before until recently. I simply cut all contact with the person. Recent situation is that a person I work with and helped on a number of occasions, has really pissed me off and I simply do not want to talk to them anymore. I am not angry, I am not trying to get back at them. I simply do not want to talk to them ever again.

Everyday.. I feel like I am not myself? I feel like I am just a chameleon who changes colours to be respected, liked, etc. I act too mature for a 13 yo irl with loved ones to be liked and accepted. Is this smth ENFJs would do at bad health? I bet so... And I can't get rid of the mask fully. I have taken it off a bit and now I am not a 200 percent gentleman who doesn't even get in conflicts. No, now I am a little bit more confrontational of conflicts.

How do you differenciate between the 2 subtypes? What are the key points/differences between them?

I m an ENFJ. I dont have all good qualifications that they describe us. Seems like i have too many judgement toward people, good and bad in a deep level. I only have evil thought (not action) toward who treat me bad. I am very sensitive about lies and unfaithful. I cut off friends decisively whom i found have those qualities. Sometimes i do very little manipulation to courage people to take action on something good for them. I am in a rls with an INFP who constantly unconciously hurt me. I m planning to get out the rls gently. Is there other ENFJ feel my case similar

Infj here! Ahh I do know a lot of enfjs- you guys are like us but extroverted LOL (our first 2 cognitive functions are flipped in order and our last 2 are flipped). Main observations have been that you guys are super passionate, hardworking, and care about brightening other peoples’ days! Very strong leaders imo

I’m pretty passionate about understanding other people / personality types– this is also due to a problem I’ve personally experienced, of loneliness. As I've experienced it myself, I feel I have a responsibility to solve loneliness for others.

I’m helping create a platform where people can foster meaningful relationships by asking deep questions. We include questions on MBTI and personality types~ The purpose is for you to find authentic friendships and people who really understand you. I genuinely hope that our platform can help you out :) You can find us here: https://apps.apple.com/app/apple-store/id6474634049?pt=126456033&ct=MG&mt=8

Took two cognitive functions tests that I was told are accurate and ENFJ was the result I got on both tests. I was diagnosed by a doctor a while ago as an HSP (Highly sensitive person) and thought that would mean being more of an introvert but to be honest, I enjoy being outside in the sun or doing things outside enough to where I suppose being extroverted isn't too far out of the ball park. How common is it for our type to be HSPs and is it normal for us to not be totally conventional and/or stereotypical extroverts in a way? Was looking into the other types as well but I don't see myself in most of them to be honest.

Bit more about me, like reading, going to the gym, and just generally learning about things.

And if this result is true then hello my fellow ENFJs or anyone else who might be reading this!

One of my other enfj friends also experienced this lol. So basically in undergrad we had this study group and we had study sessions and stuff. So there were these two really close school friends in our grp who always kinda hung out by themselves let’s just call them an and b. So i just kinda felt they were left out to I went to become friends w a.

Actually we hit it off really well. She was really chill and we started hanging out(not a lot tho). One day after class b comes up to me and says that I was ruining a’s and b’s friendship and I was like ? Because a was apparently hanging out more w me. Lmao I removed myself from that situation real quick a’s an adult she could sort this out w her friend. After that I didn’t approach a voluntarily again

Since I was a teenager I’ve been and ENFJ, but I’ve noticed over the past 2-3 years I’ve stopped caring completely about people as a whole and only a small group of people. Because I genuinely care less, does this mean I’m no longer classified an ENFJ?

Hello, ENFJs! What if there were a shy, timid guy who acted very nervous around you and blushed at everything you said to him? He tries to hide that he has a crush on you and acts really awkward. He was about to confess his feelings but got scared and instead tells you that he likes pizza. You even occasionally hear him whispering to his best friend for advice and then see him come back to you, trying to act cool. How would you personally react to him?

This has always baffled me but I see so much. hate towards ENFJS on the internet but I rarely see any towards INFJS. The INFJs i’ve talked to share many many traits with me to the point where i’ve mistyped myself as an INFJ before. So my question is, where does the hate come from? I’m guessing it’s the dominant Fe function that often labels us as pushy because we try to empathize with almost everyone and sometimes cross boundaries on accident. (even with good intentions.)

Other than that, any other reason why you think we’re less liked?

In retrospect, I often feel guilty for not having done a lot of things that seem so trivial yet deeply meaningful right now, but probably didn't cross my mind back then. This leads me to look at my present, and I realise I could do a lot that could offer me fulfilment while also improving my competency in several aspects I lack in (all due to a lack of effort, support, and incentive).

It's like I know of these things I can do that'll help me in the long run.

Yet there's something about doing these things (especially alone) that I often don't end up doing them at all for prolonged periods of time, hence I don't gain anything substantial/meaningful out of the experience.

A subconscious worry/fear of "this isn't going to lead anywhere" or "I know things aren't going to occur the way I probably imagine them to" leads me to not do so many things at all - which I can eventually see detrimental to my overall well being (or even "expected" state of well being)

Do you relate? If so, what are some things you do to resolve it?

I'm needing some insight from other ENFJ's to see if this could be my Enneagram or not.

so this is a bit of a long read.

so i'm 20 years old, infj turned intj turned enfj. it changed yearly but yeah, my mind feels extremely powerful and overactive. 6 years ago, I went through times of really dark, intense thoughts and emotions, like uncontrollably crying over the idea of my parents dying. But I learned to take control of my mind instead of letting it control me.

right now, it's nothing like it was in the past. i don't get dark thoughts and if it does, happens rarely which i just brush aside. the main thing is, my mind feels hyperactive and very in the moment. i talk out loud, and always have an internal dialogue going, always. From the moment i wake up, there's always thoughts running around in my mind.

I'm always curious to learn new things. i was an introvert but now i'm an extrovert. my grades were bad, so much so that i failed but now i'm back up and topping the class. i also can think critically and question surface-level ideas. I can vividly picture complex scenarios in my mind's eye. My IQ scores range from 138-142 after taking some tests.

i did a thought dump where i wrote almost 40K words, purely just writing down my thoughts. there was just that much going through my mind that it doesn't feel normal. i have really good english skills even though it's not my first language. like i really feel i'm matured for my age comparatively, (reminder that i'm 20). I deeply analyze my own behaviors to constantly improve myself, which makes people at times seem immature to me.

i was in my flop era for like 4 years. i would do nothing but waste time everyday, watch youtube and socials. i hated myself back then. but then, i cut down on socials, stuck to my to-do list and all. i am also a very very organized person. i have everything in my life sorted, literally everything. phones, app lists, backups, photos, bookmarks, 30K photos, yearly tasks to take care of cleaning up and so much more, it's insane. I deeply care about art, design, unique ideas - those things move me emotionally, sometimes to tears.

Overall, I feel very mentally healthy by self-analyzing to fix my flaws. My logical, analytical mind feels like its own voice pursuing non-stop growth. i know that i'm at a good place but i can always be better so it's a long life pursuit. but yeah, my mind feels like this analyzing, hyperactive, critical, self fixing mind that has it's own voice.

I value logic over emotions. I discover great ideas through conversations more than just thinking alone. i also feel like i'm very calculated and plan it out.

my only problem would be that i don't stick to schedules. i have a history of starting and not sticking to them. i'm also very lazy and i've literally delayed tasks for months. i can't ask for help because i think i can do it myself and try as hard as i can. i also mostly don't listen to classes, my mind just wanders away somewhere away. also maintaining relationships with the family and friends, i'm the worst at that.

so yeah, this is my profile. now i want you to look back and give your thoughts on all the paragraphs, and your interpretation of me. like the good, the bad and age-wise, et cetera. add in your thoughts. is this all cool for 20? how rare or how common is this? do i have a disorder or anything? please help me out.

So I read that ambivert aren’t “real” and you’re either predominantly an extrovert or an introvert. For a long time, I always tested as an introvert. But over the years I’ve gotten different results. My first test 4 years ago I was an INTP. Then INTJ, then INFJ. The last few years I have continued to test ENFJ. I’m always about 55% E and I, but I feel like I have always felt like I identify more as an introvert so the extrovert results have sent me through a loop. I like my alone time, and I really enjoy close relationships with a few individuals. But I work remotely now and I do have times where I feel like I need socialization. My job is people facing, and it does require a lot of people skills but since it’s remote but it’s not the same. I used to be a server for awhile and that would get out all my “socialization needs” and I’d be exhausted, and not need to see really anyone throughout the week past my very close friends or partner. With this current job, it happens probably about twice a week where I need to see people. I love talking to new people but I had being the one to initiate, and often become overwhelmed and exhausted if I have too many new friendships to balance. I have a lot of friends and do make friends very easily, but I don’t enjoy group settings at all and almost always would rather have a side interaction with 1-2 people from the group. I hate organizing events or outings but I end up doing so sometimes because I’m busy and it’s easy to get all my friends in one place rather than numerous one-offs throughout the week. I get told I’m socializing a lot by introvert friends but with extroverted friends I feel like I’m way more withdrawn than they are and have to push myself to meet the energy they have all the time. At the same time, I need a social outing every now and then or I get stir crazy. Extrovert or introvert?

I saw a post on the main mbti showing INTP envy of ENTP while knowing that ENTP's are often envious of ENTJ's, and I thought about the advocate side... INFP's often want to be INFJ's, and INFJ's often want to be INTJ or ENFJ or something, and I was wondering... How do you, an ENFJ, feel about yourself? Are you happy in yourself or do you sometimes wish you were more like another type?

And I don’t mean opposite type as ISTP or INTP because we still have common points but more like ISTJs. I don’t know if you noticed or not but they comprise like 85% of population based on my personal impressions. I go to language school in the morning , we have 4 different teachers and all of them are ISTJs. After that I go to work and all my 4 managers and managers assistants are also ISTJs. No matter what I do there’s a wall between us and everything I’m trying to express gets completely misinterpreted and misunderstood by them. ISTJ managers are actually more tolerable because I can just keep distance from them and interact with team members and work. But teachers at school… it’s 4 hours of their monotone dumping of information that doesn’t have any main points or some Ti structure/processing. They also completely don’t interact with us, when they ask a question and you answer they’re like “wrong” and continue droning on. I feel like I’m completely paralized and all life, energy, joy and inspiration are being sapped out of me. And they I look at my classmates and they’re also like 70% consisting of ISTJs so no hope for any lively interaction. Then I go to the shop and sellers are also ISTJs and they scold
me for choosing the wrong word to order coffee. Go to work and as I said there are ISTJ managers and ISTJ coworkers and my only hope there are ESFP, ESFJ, ISFJ, INTP coworkers I have. I mean it’s like fine , as ISTJs say “just focus on yourself, your study and job and then return home to people that really click with you and matter” and I do that but damn it’s so difficult. And I also I don’t even learn anything from their Te-Ne info dumping, I have to read at home information to actually put it into my personal framework of understanding. I feel like this world is just not made for me but for Si-Ne and Te-Fi users

As someone who has struggled with depression and anxiety, I sometimes feel like an odd ENFJ. I've been on therapy multiple times due to trauma and have been on meds for a couple of years. Thankfully, I overcame depression a couple of years ago, but I'm still struggling with anxiety. For the ENFJ who are struggling like me, do you ever feel like it affects the way you relate to people and your relationships in general? I've always had difficulties keeping relationships because I freak out the moment I think I did something wrong or hurt someone, and even when I realize that I may be overreacting, I just lose my mind and distance myself out of fear. Most social situations make me so anxious that I end up freezing on the spot. However, on good days, I have no problem joking around and talking to someone. It's a weird pull between wanting to be around people and being too scared of whatever could go wrong.

Sometimes I think of the irony that a type that is defined by how social they are, ends up with something like anxiety that makes relationships difficult. I do want to socialize, I love being around people, and I consider myself an extrovert in the traditional sense, but the idea of messing up or making someone feel bad is so terrifying at times that I'd rather not do anything at all. And I'm talking about a very, very exaggerated response, pretty much an anxiety attack. It's not just fear, it's pure terror.

I don't often hear how ENFJs deal with things like mental illness, and I was curious to know how was it for you, or how you handled it (did you overcome it, or are still struggling?).

I feel like although I can be really social, and I like being around people, I enjoy the feeling of anonymity. I like to go to new places where people do not know me. I have a handful of friends, and I’ve known dozens of people who I felt very comfortable being really open with.

That being said, there’s just something really sweet to me about going somewhere where I know people aren’t going to try to talk to me, and if they do it’s not because they know me and feel pressure to, but it’s because they want to know me.

For example, corner stores. Whenever I go to a corner store enough, they start to recognize me and then I just don’t want to go anymore. I just don’t want to have to chat or have them ask me questions or comment on me or about me. I really prefer just friendliness without more to it. Can any of you guys relate?

Just looking for my friends who know what I mean —

I became a couple different people today during back to back conversations at work (I work in an elementary school).

(Tl;dr: I easily change my style to match who I’m talking to and it’s amazing, I love it!)

When the super chill dad came in for his screeching daughter, my demeanor was laid back and shrug emoji. “Hey man, it be like that sometimes, she’s just having a day!”

Then the fawning mom. Her daughter is perfect, don’t you know. I said, “Oh my gosh, she is an ANGEL! She is so bright and sharp, and so intuitive and socially aware. She is going to go very far in life.” Her mother beamed, and so did I.

Then the mom who had called me before to check on her children, even though she had escorted them to school herself. I remembered that she liked to feel safe, and I automatically began delineating all of our safety precautions, and extra security measures here in the last weeks of school. Suddenly I could speak paranoia language and I kept feeding her what she wanted to hear most: “the internet is a scary place,” and “oh did you see that latest TikTok threat,” and “lots of parents are rightly concerned.” “It’s terrifying out there!” With all the matching facial expressions and vocal intonations.

^^ this last one was what inspired my post.

I really love this about myself, and I’m even making the move in a couple months out of education and into customer service. I feel blessed with my talent for reading others, and my heart is so genuine and pure wanting to connect with them and speak their language. Chameleonize myself to match their vibe and tone and needs. ★★★★★ Would absolutely recommend 😊

Hello fellow ENFJs

TL;DR I feel like some of my coworkers misunderstand my ENFJ self as being superficial because I am nice and go out my way to help people. How do I not let it affect me?

Sorry I need to vent and need some advice..

I love being an ENFJ for many reasons and I am appreciated by my closed loved ones very much because they know the real me.

However, I have changed work setting recently and I am having a hard time adapting. My colleagues are all nice people (except maybe for one or two), but I can see that some of them have had enough of me because I am liked by the majority of my colleagues, and they think I am superficial because I genuinely want to make sure everyone is heard and cared for. I do nice gestures and go out of my way to help others because I like to do so, not to gain points.. but they don't seem to see it that way. It's only maybe 3 people max who see me that way (out of maybe 15+), but it is really impacting my morale and my mood because I feel like I cannot really be myself around those people or I will be met with a frown and short cold answers.

There are times when I feel very down because of it. But because I am so extroverted, making everyone happy around me, and being super positive all the time, my colleagues expect me to be fine all the time. I noticed that no one picks up on my low mood, or it's just "you're quiet today" with not much follow through because people at work don't actually care about how you feel, or they say that in a group setting and I can't express my real feelings because I don't want people to see me as a burden or killing the mood. I also don't want to show vulnerability in front of people who might not like me, and I don't want to make it look like I am whining..

I also get more and more frustrated about how easy it is for me to read body language/verbal cues, but impossible for others to do so and therefore shut me down without trying to understand me. Some people are so narrow-minded and inflexible, it's really difficult for me to have any sort of deep conversations. I'm always the first one to listen to different opinions than mine on litterally anything and never judge others even if I disagree, but when it's my opinion, it's completely shut down or rejected ("You can't think that way").

There are some colleagues with whom I have built a closer relationship, and I can have those discussions or talk about how I feel at times, but the nature of my job is very "public" and therefore it's really difficult to get 1-on-1 interactions with my colleagues. Everyone can listen and butt in at anytime. I love people but I find 1-on-1 interactions much easier to bond with someone. I hate when people jump in conversations and start judging or criticising others' opinions, litterally no one asked you...

I am starting to lose my mind over all this because there are days where I'm like "Fuck it, I'm just going to be myself" and can erase these negative people from my mind for the day - although I have to work with them and it ends up impacting me anyway, and there are times where I feel like just crawling into my shell, not wanting to interact with anyone, and sort of pitying myself over their coldness towards me. I hate when I self-loathe and kill all the qualities that make me shine..

How do you handle negative people at work and how can I just stop wanting validation all the time.. it's really draining.

Need some ideas for dialogue. Some sort of joke or sarcastic quote or witty comment. Context doesn’t matter just getting a feel for enfj humor

omg hi i feel ecstatic being here because i've always been an INFJ but also kept wanting to be an ENFJ HAHA

okay about that—i've been learning abt mbti more detailed recently. cognitive functions, the history, other psychology tools. i wanted to ask if there are cases where certain letters (is that the term?) change a lot?

i'm aware mbti is quite a general guide and things such as socionics exist. so, i retook the test around 2 weeks ago and got a 51% on feeling and 49% on thinking ... i was 2% away from becoming an ENTJ. and honestly ? i somewhat relate to the description of ENTJ too.

additionally, even though i've had INFJ as a result several times, and i only was classified as being extroverted recently (yipee), i still really think of myself as ambiverted lol

so this thing is a bit confusing to me. i respond to a situation besides on the circumstances i am provided. i am extroverted when i want to. i very logically think when i need to (which is more evident the past year). i even perceive rather than judge sometimes.

i really want to be a healthy ENFJ-A but is that even achieveable? aaaa does this whole 50/50 mentality largely change your cognitive functions? does true ambiversion exist? has anyone else experienced this? if so, what's your behavioral lifestyle like? help thanks :')

Well, I was wondering.. what are all ennragram combos that can occur with ENFJ , like, is so3 possible or sx3 and other types. I wanted to know. And is 316 tritype with sx/so(or)so/sx VELF(attitudinal psyche) SCOAI possible for ENFJ? Let me know.. cause I have this random ass idiot on Enneagram having me argue that I am not an ENFJ 💀.

Sorry if it doesn't fit here :/

I'm just really worried and feeling awful now. Me and a loved one had a difficult day (or days). I don't have anyone I trust to talk about it IRL :/

I try to be the best that I can... I really do. I try to do all the right things, I empathize, I don't judge or yell or act defensive...

You all are cool people, so I'm just kind of sending this message to the wind. If you read this, send me a pick-me-up quote, or just an "I hear you", or something good that you wish upon me... anything, really. I'm just feeling a bit alone in my hurt right now.

Hello fellow angels and lovely people, I am an ENFJ, and I feel like I am healthy, but no, it is clear that there is still more room to understand about myself more and improve myself as a person. So I am here to ask for that very same advice. And before we start, basic intel: I am a 13 year old, who has a friend group of 7 best friends, and is leading that group along with an ENTJ who created that group(he is my best friend since 8 years). And also, my entire class is friends with me except for a few assholes, who I still keep as neutral even though they keep backstabbing me like real bastards. I am the helper of the class, clearing doubts, helping them with personal life issues, etc etc etc. But... I feel like the good I am giving to the world isn't coming back... I barely get appreciations and I have suffered already a lot in life, lost my father, all paternal side parents are just money minded bastards who either died or left. Most of my maternal side either died or were money minded bastards again... Only my grandma and my mother take care of me as of now. And people always seem to backstab me by either talking behind my back or whatever. It just feels sad.... Very sad.... But I keep doing the help and keep others' life as my responsibility. And yes, they themselves ask for help and I sometimes do it without them asking, by just looking at their face. Also, it's clear that most of my class including a couple of my friends are jealous of me.. why? Cause I am somehow the best in every single category except sports. I am the topper of the class.Any advice guys?? And if you guys wanna ask any more questions, please feel free to ask!!!

Thanks in advance.