I have some ESFJ friends always laughing, like they will (say something) (laugh like somebody told a joke) (say something else).

Like, "oh wow did your car break down?" (laughter) "do you need a ride?" (laughter) "my car is so tiny, I don't think it'll fit everybody" (laughter)

So, a couple of ESFJ friends do this a lot.

But other ESFJ friends don't do this, they are just kind of normal?

Is the laughing something like INTP or ISTP shadow? Are they kind of automatically griefing people or something?

My ISFJ friend got his feelings hurt and was really quiet, so I said I think it's just those people were a bit strange about everything?? Not sure. But when it's more than one ESFJ doing it, it makes me wonder.

Any of you can share if you know what this is about?

I’m an ESFJ and Sagittarius. One feature is that I’m emotional- can be very very happy and very very sad at times. I hide the sad side of myself most of the time.

I grew up in this loving family where all four members are very close and supportive of each other. I’m a younger sister so all the stress and worries are handled by my older brother. I grew up (and still live in) a glasshouse believing the world is always beautiful, human connections are such beautiful things and nothing is insurmountable as long as there is love.

I work full time in a qualified professional role. Fortunate enough my employers are reasonable and sensible, so my career hasn’t changed my personality much. My childhood friends always comment that I haven’t changed much over the years.

I just turned 30 and am slowly realizing the reality, even something so basic in my peers’ eyes. For example, how society works, how some people make money using questionable means, how close friends could betray you, etc. The side of myself which believes a beautiful world is heavily tested. I feel frustrated, stressed and hollow inside because the truths hurt.

There has not been any major incident that blew my mind. It is the sum of all little daily things and realities that makes me upset and sad.

At times, I feel that I have seen the beautiful side of the world and my life. I don’t need the opposite because I don’t want my dreams to go shattered. In extreme cases, I would even feel that it’s ok to have a terminal illness and not go for treatment, so that I can stop the clock and stay in the most beautiful moments, and only have fond memories of the world in this life.

How do the idealists think about the world? Am I the only one?

I have a esfj friend I met recently who's a self-preservation 2, and she's planning to get therapy for her typical SP2 tendencies

Hello ESFJ's,

Just your friendly INTP/ENFP/Martian dropping by for some Fe advice.

Due to life circumstances (Residential school, poor schooling, controlling parents), it has been hard for me to seek guidance on important life subjects.

I am fairly certain I am in need of therapy to establish a good life setup, but I cannot access it at the moment due to financial circumstances.

I am in a terrible place right now, my self esteem is very low, but I have to make some difficult life decisions (blue collar jobs, 2-3 jobs) in order to support my financial commitments.

The sad thing is, despite my life circumstances, everyone who know me seem to think "Oh X, he's awesome!", "You have everything bro".

But I've never had the chance to learn anything, as the moment people get close to me, they just want to dump stuff on me. Or they ignore the real problems in my life, and say "How could you not know that?".

All I have is exceptional strength. But I'm like an Ogre, dumb and clueless about life. All I know is what is right, and what could be considered right, and the extreme flexibility to right and existence.

I never had the self belief to pursue pursuits that could have helped me navigate reality, as I always gave in to the lingering feeling that something could go wrong, and everything would be gone to waste/void.

Now that reality faces me, I realize I am completely unequipped to face life.

I made a BIG, THIS IS IT decision to immigrate to Canada as a Student, MONTHS before the pandemic hit, and have been stuck with blue collar jobs, cluelessness about life, regret, and the realization that blood-sweat-and-tears in a place I'm free is much much better than being in "luxury" back home around serpents. (My sincere apologies to the residents who deserved my earnings and living space. I am still undecided on the guilt, I do not have the luxury to think about this right now, so with a weeping gut I go on..).

Luxury is not for me. I do not know what that is, never really cared for such things except for things like the latest XBox. And though my family was fairly well off, I never got the chance to experience it (residential school, expected to charm the President when home).

What I really need advice in is this:

I understand that dealing with reality is often circumstantial, but

What are some principles that can be universally applied, that is applicable to 80% of situations.

My basic intention is to build an exterior that can withstand reality, and work towards building myself over time.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post. My apologies if this post would be considered inappropriate for this forum, or in general lol. Am I just a kitty, like a lot of people seem to think about me.

Best regards!

PS - This is an incognito account I'm using for the purposes of privacy.

Hi lovely ESFJs. I’m curious, is your type generally spontaneous? I ask because I’m trying to type a friend and I’m stuck between ESFJ or ESFP, Enneagram 2.

Thank you! 🧁

My parents are INFJ and ESFJ and they compliment each other well and have never had any problems or arguments so far, so I think INFJs and ESFJs make a good pair.

I'm curious about what ESFJs here think about INFJs

Bonus question for those who have a deeper understanding of the Enneagram (subtypes, tritypes, etc), does your behavior and who you are align with your type? Meaning, are you more like the "stereotypical" version of your type (mbti & enneagram), or are you different?

If you have an answer for the question above, what do you think makes you different/similar to your type?

Thanks in advance <3 have a fantastic day :D

Hello ppl, im new here but im an entp. I decided to make a post here to seek being able to understand my best friend, an esfj more.

Recently, im feeling more and more frustrated with my best friend. We met two years ago and was the best duo ever! ( We shared common interest in clubs, observing dynamics, and partner up for competitions)

But then around last year my esfj friend met a enfp and i think they instantly clicked? ( They were both late owls and the enfp was just clingy to her in general) That enfp had another entp bestie whom i was already friends with and get along with well but i knew we wouldnt be best friends.

So now, we have like a friend group of 4 : me, esfj, enfp, entp. The enfp would always stick to my best friend, esfj, and the other entp feeling left out, will go seek them out. However, i rarely do so recently as i felt that whenever i do, i would be just like the other entp, standing at the side listening to a conversation we do not understand

Now, i know that the esfj still considers me as a friend, (she would still partner up with me in projects and such) but im worried that that is just out of pity. (Also, this may be petty but she refused to get matching profile pics with me but agreed to do so when the enfp suggests we do so as a group.) I will not deny that my feelings weren't hurt, as i considered our relationship more special. Another thing is, the enfp is rly touchy so she's already touchy with my esfj friend but for me, i only get touchy when the other one makes the first move.

As so now, our classmates still see us as a pair but I think we're getting distanced. Here, I seek ur perspective. Is she just bothering with me cuz she pities me? Is she just afraid of commitment? If so, I do not feel the need to seek her put as much anymore as i would rather spend my energy on my other friends that are very obviously more direct in approaching me. Or is it that yall are just not good at expressing ur feelings?

I am an INTP. I had been someone who loved to be in the limelight based on my intelligence, physical attraction and personality. I am a down to Earth, humble person. I had been to college, university and now various offices and i had faced an immense amount of jealousy from the female ESFJs. I feel most of them (not all) get really insecure because people use to give me a lot of attention and want to hear my knowledge and opinions. I do admit i am in most places the apple of the eye. However, the jealousy factor from female ESFJs is now creating problems for me. They are now trying to put me down, through manipulation and backstabbing.

How i can stop this all at my work place?

Hello friends! I’m a Real Housewife super fan (been watching since 2008) and have always known certain housewives were ESFJs. Even before I knew what personalities were, I knew some of them were similar to me. Here’s my list:

• Teresa Giudice (RHONJ)
• Kyle Richards (RHOBH)
• Kandi Burriss (RHOA)

I’d be interested to see what ESFJs yall have noticed on reality shows!

I am already judging myself for venting here. But guys, how do you feel when you have to do a job poorly, and bullshit yourself into "everything is fine"? I want a punching ball. Please tell me I'm not the only one.

View Poll

1. Are you the main character or are they a POV of a character?

2. Are the environments based on reality or made up?

3. Are there made up fantasy characters like creatures?

4. Are the people made up or real?

I’m just interested to see if there’s any differences between the styles and structures of dreams based on MBTI. I’m asking this on other MBTI subreddits too.

Either for yourself, or someone else?

I heard esfjs are usually bubbly/energetic, so I'm wondering if any of you are more so on the calm/relaxed spectrum rather than the bubbly energetic one

I’m a 34-yr old undiagnosed high functioning ASD, MBTI ISFJ childfree male in RDU going through a divorce. I grew up strongly evangelical, but over the last couple of years have become agnostic.

I love D&D, Critical Role, video games, movies, food, computers, and nerd culture. Looking to make some platonic friends. Shoot me a message!

Been trying to find posts and comments of esfjs talking about their favorite aesthetics, but couldn't find any.

ESFJs, I am asking y’all a favour.

What are y’all’s telltale signs you exhibit that make you think “ahhh, this is definitely because I’m an ESFJ” or just seem to be part of the ESFJ lived experience.

Kinda curious because I know some of you wanna look fashionable.

I'm extremely scared when I see them as CEOs in the media (TV, internet,…). Does anyone here have experience? How can we employed by them? 😄

What do you think makes that thing so impossible to resist?

which tends to be most people tbh

i’m an ESFJ guy that’s never had ‘one’ best friend that i can immediately reach out to about anything. being a social butterfly, i’m surrounded by lots of people that i can reach out for different things

kinda makes me sad that i don’t have a partner in crime person that i can reach out to for shenanigans 😎 kinda wish i had someone who looks out for me as much as i do

do any other ESFJs feel the same?

I’ve been typed as an ESFJ by multiple people. But they obviously haven’t seen me at work. And at my current job (which I’ve been at for three weeks; I work on the ship dock at Amazon, mostly putting packages on the carts corresponding to their destinations), I’m prioritizing strict adherence to the rules over developing good relationships with my coworkers. (And I think my coworkers are mostly idiots for apparently not being able to understand the very clear instructions about what not to do and insisting that unsafe things are fine.) I received feedback today that, while my performance is fantastic, I’m not a team player. I care so much about following all the rules because not following them could cause problems (such as customers receiving damaged products or the next warehouse having a frustrating time unloading trucks from us because stuff was stacked so badly; turns out other warehouses have actually been complaining) or even actually put people in danger. I absolutely would be much happier if I had more positive interactions with my coworkers. I’m very lonely because I barely have friends, and one of my favorite things about my last job was getting to talk to people all the time. I loved chatting with my coworkers all the time, and I loved helping customers (especially when they thanked me and told me how good I am at customer service). But ultimately, doing the job right comes before being liked (though I do freak out and start apologizing anytime I think someone might be annoyed at me and I constantly seek reassurance that people aren’t annoyed at me; obviously I have serious mental health issues and this behavior is probably actually making people like me even less). Does this rule out ESFJ?