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No one reaches out to me anymore to do something or even talk, I don't know if I've done something wrong but the only times I talk to anyone is when I'm basically forced to interact with them

I have a lot of conversations in my head and so often when I speak it sounds like I've rehearsed it ahead of time because I kind of have. I'll sometimes use word choices that sound more natural more written than spoken or drop facts that sound too specific to be from memory even though they are. Does that annoy people? I find it odd that I have to make an effort to talk in a "natural" manner since that seems like a contradiction in terms.

First things first, I'm probably autistic, I have a lot of traits. I also LOVE being left to my own devices.

But...

I find I am a bit of a different person to most people when it comes to my opinions and interests.

I'm not religious, I'm pescatarian, I'm not interested in people's baby / child stories, I don't have kids, I'm not really into sports, I love learning about ancient traditions, I care about the environment, I'm not really a drinker... The list goes on.

Usually, socially I feel a bit isolated, but I don't want to change who I am to fit in, I like who I am. But when I am around family friends or at gathering with people I don't know very well, I feel like I properly should smile and lie a bit just so no one gets upset? If that makes sense?

For example, if someone starts showing me their baby/kid photos, should I just pretend to be interested?

Someone asked me if I have started my Christmas shopping yet and I said "no, I'm not really into Christmas" and then they looked all upset. Should I have lied and made something up to make the conversation go on?

Then there is the old chestnut of political topics... I just want to evaporate into thin air.

ALSO, I'm so rubbish at asking smalltalk questions. It sounds really awful but I genuinely am not interested about people's smalltalk. Like people's jobs, what they had for lunch, if the neighbours are alright, that kind of thing. It's numbs me. Do I just pretend again?

I want to socialise in these situations but I do feel like I'd have to pretend to be someone I'm not and then I might get found out later on down the line when someone realises I'm not a Christmas loving, broody, sports fan that loves steaks and neighbourhood gossip. Won't they think I'm 2 faced?

I guess what I'm saying is, how do I be myself and still be a social wizz?

Thanks in advance, I really genuinely would love any help and advice.

I am 46m I need advice. I usually go to the gym morning time and I I have a feeling for on one of the lady, but I never talk to her yet and I keep watching her but I am a little bit. Nervous about how to start talk to her please advise me.

I often find myself divulging bits of information that others have shared with me in conversation to be relatable. For example : my friends are getting married and are choosing not to have a bridal party. Personally I think it's a great idea as bridal parties can get dramatic and complicated.

As we were discussing their decision I shared with them that another friend of mine (who they know but are not "friends" with) is having problems with her sister as a bridesmaid. She's being difficult about what shoes she'll wear, stormed out of her bridal shopping appt because she was hungry. This friend shared that she wished she never had a bridal party. Am I an ass for sharing this info? I was never told to keep it a secret but I feel like maybe I shouldn't be spreading this info around and now I feel bad.

If you’re unsure what to say in a conversation, focus on topics the other person can connect with—like something they’re wearing, their mood, or an interest they’ve mentioned. This makes it more likely they’ll engage with what you’re saying, rather than brushing it off like a generic “So, how’s the weather?”

Also, remember that a conversation isn’t an interrogation—don’t just fire off question after question. Instead, aim for a natural balance between questions and statements. Share your thoughts, opinions, or even a related story. This makes the exchange feel more dynamic and gives the other person something to respond to.

I'm tired of trying every day to appear extroverted and talkative so that my quiet personality don't put my work colleagues off.

I'm a newbie at work, and in my line of job I am slowly realising that it is not a straightforward training for this role. You learn by talking to others constantly and being extremely proactive.

My problem is that I am just so downright uninteresting (imagine a very boring NPC that isn't charismatic whatsoever) and all my conversations with my work colleagues just fizzles out like a dying balloon. Whenever I approach someone, they just do it for the sake of just teaching me. We don't joke or banter. Even if I did, it just feels awkward and it doesn't flow.

I feel so alone and just tired. There's a course called Social Self Daily I think and I feel like that's a gateway to being a more interesting person.

Too many times I've seen quiet-personality individuals/new-at-work who aren't even extroverted or talkative but I see their work colleagues -starting the conversation FIRST- rather than the quite one. Like "hey mate how's it going" or "oh what you make for lunch?". For me it's ME that starts the conversation FIRST and I often leave an awkward amount of time to give them to talk to me first, but I'll always break the silence and say hi.

I feel like I'll just walk in there and just survive day by day. Whatever I do just seems futile by the day.

Thanks for reading. It means a lot.

Please share the practical stuff. It is easy to say that you don’t care but deep down i’ve always felt that I do. It holds me back no matter how hard I try.

What do you tell yourself if you get lost in your insecure thoughts and want to get out of it? Does it take time? Is it like a muscle you need to train?

Also this is my first post ever. I’m kinda scared about that as well.

I see "staring" used in negative, positive, and neutral ways across Reddit

What makes it creepy VS casual?

Is this more down to acknowledging the person once they become aware of it? Or is this a body language thing?

I'm new in town and someone invited me to go to a city tour to get to know people. However, one of the main activities would be visiting 5 bars throughout the entire tour and drink.

I don't drink alcohol. I just don't like it. But I'd like to visit different parts of the city and get to know people.

However, if I attend and don't drink, would I be catalloged as the weirdo of the group?

Sometimes it does feel like I am the odd one out at work. I am on the quiet side. I definitely talk but I can’t appreciate what I contribute socially at work or in other social occasions even if I’m not the loudest voice in the room. As I’m more on the reserved side I don’t make the effort with people as much as I probably should. When people don’t make an effort with me I will then get hurt and feel like everyone hates me. It’s a catch 22 I suppose. There are some awesome people at work though who will always be sure to say hello and make conversation with me when they see me. If I did that a bit more I’m sure I’d feel a bit more integrated. And these are cool people not just other outcasts. I really respect these people. I guess I’m having a moment of clarity because for so long I’ve felt like the victim. But a lot of it is just my own doing. “The world is what you make it” I suppose.

When people don’t say hello to me I always wonder why. My example of making an effort would be trying to make eye contact in passing before saying hello. I kind of see this as a “I see you! And you seem like a cool person enough” but maybe other people have a different idea of how to initiate a friendship? When stuff like that doesn’t happen with people who I thought I got on with I get hurt.

I’m not always good at quip remarks at work. I can kind of just laugh along and not have much to respond with which makes me feel like a bit of a dud personality. It’s not like I lack a sense of humour, I can be funny with people I’m close to and I often make others laugh. I also lack good material for conversation at times. I’m much better with one to one conversations. Sometimes I have an idea of something to say but just convince myself it won’t go down well or will not make sense when I actually say the words such as a joke or something. And that has actually happened probably a few times. I sometimes find myself comparing my personality to others. Like if I have underestimated someone which is then contradicted by strengths they suddenly show it can make me feel like shit about myself. My mental health about it has definitely been a lot better and I’m realising no one is actually out to get me and most people couldn’t give a damn about me

I see some friends of mine that have other friends that willing to go in abandoned buildings, jumping the fence of some facility... It could seem basic for some people but for me all the friends i know is the basic type of friends, going to the mall, hanging out at the beach, the classic things not the type that would rob a bank with you or found your own fight club, how to get that type of friends?

Hi guys, I have this one friend, and I say that we are considerably close. We both have opened up to each other, and we both enjoyed hanging out with each other in school (we dont go to same school anymore, but we regularly text). But tell me why every time I asked her to hang out, she was always somehow “busy.” I asked her once in June, once in October, and then yesterday, and all those times she said NO. Like girl, you cannot be busy 24/7. and then I remembered she lied about having her cousin's bday party just to not hang out with me because she had a hangout the day before and she was tired. which I totally get, but she could have just told me???

I'm a highschool student in grade 12, and I used to have tons of friends in grade 11. Over the summer, we slowly stopped communicating, and everyone went their own way. So our 'squad' is disassembled now, with no one talking because everyone found their own new group. I have one girl, but she's only friends because she's in one of my classes. We don't talk outside of school, it's just in that class.

There's also a girl I was partially friends with in pre-school, and I'm sure she doesn't remember it. I'm wanting to form a friendship with her, but don't know how to. We have math class, but I sit diagonal from her. It's about half way through the first semester, and it's too late to change seating. We have small conversations about classes, and other activities. I asked if she had social media, but she said no. She only has a phone number, but I would feel weird just asking for it.

After school she goes rock climbing, and is in band. And I only joined band because she was in it, and I needed a new hobby to replace video games. I'm learning the flute, and she's already mastered it. Sure, I could ask her to teach me, but it just feels like crossing an invisible line. It's the same with rock climbing and her grades, they're both really good. At the same time, I don't want to ask too many questions, or ask for help because it makes me look desperate.

She just knows so many things I need to know. She strives for high grades, entering the best universities, going for multiple scholarships. All the things I also want. I'm just not sure how I should I approach her. I don't want to go head on saying "I need help." Or "Why are you so smart?" But I also don't want to take too long, otherwise the school year will end.

The main problem I think, is the lack of communication. If she has no contact other than a phone number or an email, there's almost no way to keep in touch. Emails and phone number seem like a confidential thing to me, while Instagram or Facebook is more casual. But she doesn't have any social media.

I just need help in general, and she's almost like a puzzle piece of the tutor I need. All the things she does, I would like to try, since I have a lot of free time after I stopped gaming.

I find my school is broken up into 3 kinds of people: The jocks, the LGBTQ, and the intellectuals. I used to be part of the last group, but I since I lost my last friends, I'm just a freelancer now. I'm just a shy person in general, and it's challenging for me to start a conversation.

The bottom line is, I need her help as a friend and a tutor. But how should I ask?

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated

I tip a little over the extrovert side of the scale. I hate isolation unless im working or need to clear my head and focus on myself. In uni ive been nicknamed “the guy who knows a guy” cuz of the amount of people i know in person. Sometimes some people are even surprised that im in contact with such and such person. But what i dont get is, i have no bond with anyone. I dont have a friend group that i can go adventures with or talk to or make memories or go out or whatever. Ive been in a few friend groups in my class and here and there but all ive ever felt was degraded and worthless and whenever i was with them i remained silent, like as if im not comfortable here. I left those groups but now i wonder the campus by myself. Im only ever required when its work related or if someone needs me to ask someone else for something. And any time i try to make a close friend, they all begin to control me. I dont think people care if i exist at this point.

I dont know what im doing wrong or if the space is designed to fail me.

Id appreciate your insight on this.

Thanks

What do you think about being afraid of leaving our comfort zone ?

I’m on a trip which I signed up for and, unfortunately, it’s 9 people who know each other and not random people.

The cabin is soooo good but it’s super weird that they’re having dinner together, don’t talk to me, etc. I am not sure how to act. I feel like I’m out of place and they hate to see me here.

What can I do? How do I act?

Thank you!

Why do some friends volunteer their own self to do something for you, then a week later when you're relying on that thing they self committed to, they blatantly do not do that. Example- "Yo, I'll let you use my garden shears when I talk to you next week" "Cool, I'd appreciate it! Want to stay on par with my HOA" Fast forward to next week "Yo bro, I remember you saying you'd let me use your shears this week. I'm ready to use them! Let me know when you'll drop them off or when I can pick them up!" ... Crickets A day afterwards I get an twitter meme sent to me with no context pertaining to the last conversation... What is up with people?

So I (M20) Haven't really socialized since high school About 2 years ago and pretty much I'm wanting to start getting out and socializing and making friends again soon. I was wondering though, Would it be weird if I asked somebody if they wanted to hang out (publicly) after only meeting once? And if it is, Is there a better way of getting to know people better/build friendships?

P.s. I mean Like if I met people through social things (Social meet up groups/festival) or meeting friends through friends.

In the past few months, I have made an effort to initiate conversations with people more at college events, but I need some ideas for what to do outside of school months. As I wanted to get back into reading with the extra time, I was thinking about going to some bookstores and striking up conversations with people to get some recommendations. The only thing is that I do not want to bother people who are busy. I obviously would not go up to someone reading, so I am wondering how to go about this. Other ideas are more than welcome, too! I do not enjoy super loud venues or drink so lmk what could be a fun place to try initiating more conversations.

Do they need matching personalities and similar interests, or can you just go up to someone and talk to them with the intention of becoming their friend? Do you really need things in common or to click immediately?

wouldnt say im especially bad these days so thats hope for some of you struggling.

lyrics as actually quite apt. im sure we are not so social because of experiences and in some cases why drag yourself out to pretend you are happy like an idiot?

do what you are comfortable with, thats what i do these days.

https://youtu.be/3gwfPY68vUs

Hello everyone,

I just wanna know: Isn’t it normal to say "thanks“ when someone congratulates you??

I recently congratulated my former coworker on his promotion via text message. And he did not reply at all. Not even a little "thanks". He recently congratulated me for my birthday, so I thought everything is chill between us. I just can’t my wrap my head around this behaviour. Do we take all wishes and congratulations now for granted?

I would seriously feel bad if someone took their time to congratulate me and I wouldn’t show a little appreciation. But maybe that’s just the way I am.

I wanna know your view on that.

I don't mean the ones like "How are you" because it's good, but then it's usually short lived because they only say "Fine", and it becomes awkward

Heylo!

I am a 25 yo guy who is relatively underdeveloped socially but otherwise fine. To deal with this i started reading to develop my empathy and ability of understanding people. most, if not all, books i read were written by male authors or featured male monologues. I am curious to read sonething (ideally philosophically rich) that could develop my empathy towards the opposite gender. I am not asking for advise that gies like "oh men and women are the same" - yes but no. There are subtle differences based on how we grow up and how our behaviors end up changing the way both genders can interpret the same concept differently.

Thanks!

Have you ever feel like not wanting to get out of your house?

It is what happen to me. I keep trying to motivate myself to go out and meet people but when I am out, I just want to go home as quick as possible.

To be honest, not really sure what to do. I feel like socialize is a skill and skill needs to be learnt and practiced.

Just curious, anybody would be keen to have a practice with me about some different social situations?

Everytime I make a mistake people make a big deal about it. Even when it's fucking minor.

So what if I make a mistake. You expect me to be flawless just because I'm a person of color?

Nobody's perfect. So how come people in the area I live in are allowed to make mistakes and I can't because I'm a minority?

Minorites are not gods, we are not invincible. Stop pedestralizing us and stop making us act like fucking robots.

Generally I’m a very social person with a lot of charisma and humor, but my main struggle is initiating conversations with strangers, girls or people I kind of know. This is sad because I would like to have a more social life, have more friends and meet more girls.

The problem is that I just can’t find topics to initiate the conversation with. My mind is just blank. Could it be that I’m actually not finding topics or that I’m stressed and just “being stuck in my mind”?

I also think it’s a mental problem because I often think people wouldn’t find me interesting or worth getting to know.

This is something I really want to fix because I want a more social life. It has probably been asked before but how do you actually initiate interesting conversations with people?

Thought it would be easy lol

Like wouldn't it be expected that they should be talkative?