As ESFP, I am one of the most extraverted types existing. In my case, it is that bad, that I instantly start suffering from chronical frustration (impossible to escape), if I am alone for more than a minute. And I am always alone. I cannot summon any will to move out of bed, if not getting constant recognition by others. I have zero influence on my mood, energy-level and self worth myself. I need others to feel joy and will to live. Any ESFP feeling similarly? Is it more common for ESFP to be stuck in situations alike?

I remember, many people suggesting me, to find some sort of a club, to be able socializing. Sadly, I live in Germany, where most people value emotional distance. And, I quickly become unpatient, if people don't overshare their entire lifestory, including all the intimate details within the first few days of knowing each other. I would do it exactly like that (and scare many people away with that), so I cannot empathize, why others wouldn't do the same. Smalltalk relationships make loneliness feel worse, than no relationships at all. Same question: can anyone relate?

I need someone I can be accountable to. I know it's too much to ask...but all I can do is try. Before I get to therapy, I thought I could just get some help from anyone of you here who has been able to move past depression.. Someone who is action oriented.

After ten years of being confused by the mystery of myself as a person and as a schizophrenia victim, and seven years of acknowledging MBTI to guide me, I have officially concluded by self reflection, from years of resolving internal debates and debacles, that I am guaranteed is and always has been an ESFP. I am only 19 years old by the time this is posted. I do not have a complicated background nor are my parents involved in deteriorating my mind but I overcame the struggles of the mind and I regressed from the peak of my highest intellectual form to a stupid selfish simpleton that I am now… and I am okay with it. I feel like I am normal now and I don't need to care about being lonely forever or following extreme standards. All of my relationships never became deep and they always expired within a day or two. Within a casual setting, I could not show a single most interesting thing about me and even if I mention to people about my past, what will be the difference? 

Throughout my journey, I realized how different I am from everyone and that I will continue to be alone maybe forever. So I always try to be the one to make the most interesting things by the actions that I can do and pull people towards me because of the results I can produce. I also realized that the amount of effort that I have to put in order to reach my highest point was not only due to the flaws of being a human but as an ESFP too.

It doesn't make sense to me to put so much effort into just incorporating a simple logic and overthinking it overnight to get a result which can be simply attained by a thinking process. I realized that I am internally stupid trying my hardest to be smart through willpower and even then I have to submit to copy pasting other people's thought process into equalizing myself as a ‘genius’. I went through many methods and I thought of everything a person could think of and so far as even subjugating myself in serious mind breaking experiments to test how I could turn a situation of impossibility to a feasible one in order to find how I could change what I think and to socialize to people better and to only receive no answer.

That was in my schizo days but after those six months the effects took a toll on me and I had a depression regressing to an emo boy who longed for the time he had a wrath to sustain his growth. First year in highschool I discovered MBTI and I was so glad I found it that I wish that I could go back in time to tell this past self about this. I tested myself as an INTP from a lot of personality tests but I didn't believe it so I researched ISTP which I eventually believed. I was glad that I found people there that resonate with my loneliness so I became active there for six years. But from those years, I was developing questions about myself so I figured that the solution could be answered by making a discord community in the subreddit. All of the people there are chill and very nice but I thought that there are a lot of inconsistencies that I should reconsider what I thought about my personality.

These past few months I researched ISFP then I finally found that this personality answers all my doubts and I can finally be at ease to figure out my status in this society and where I should belong. I took mechanical engineering because of my logical side but the course is fun so I definitely see my future in it.

Side note: There are a lot of factors that I thought why I didnt consider myself as esfp and one of them is because I am very introverted and I did not have friends until I was 17 years old.

I am an ISTP. I originally thought my former friend was ENFJ (she said she was) but after some consideration I think she is ESFP.

We grew up together and did a lot of things together. I liked her because she was unassuming, approachable, and fun. She made friends easily.

I felt hurt sometimes because I thought her attention was too divided. Instead of deepening relationships she always went out and made more friends. I took that negatively because I’m like am I not good enough you have to go out and find more?

Anyway I moved away across the country so our friendship became long distance. I always followed up when I went home to visit. I was heart broken when I found out years later she didn’t even ask me to be one of her bridesmaids at her wedding. Before I moved away we were very close and lived together too as roommates. She found out I was upset and said I meant a lot to her and apologized but didn’t do much to follow up after that.

I stopped following up too because I realized the relationship was one sided and haven’t heard from her for 2 years. Our mutual ESFJ friend still follows up and tells me about her but I’m like I don’t want to care.

Is this typical of ESFP behavior?

I think about her a lot but I wonder if she ever even thinks about me or even mourns the loss of the relationship. I spent a long time thinking if I did something to offend her but I don’t think so.

What is going on in her head? Our 20 year friendship just died and it’s like I never existed.

Edit: sorry I think I put the wrong flair. I have no idea what y’all flares mean. Makes no sense to me. =/

Do specific traits or personalities trigger you ooo

You guys...I normally looked down on posts like this when someone would come to the respective subreddit of a specific MBTI type and ask for help to type them because I thought the MBTI subreddits were created just for the people of that type to talk amongst themselves and that someone using the subreddit to type them was taking an advantage of them, in a way--now here I am pathetically typing this with shame as I ask for help. I don't expect a response. r/MbtiTypeMe is mean and full of selfies and the main subreddit is against "Type Me" posts (understandable) so I see why people go to the individual type subreddits now.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here is the post I copied and pasted (I also made this same post in r/ESFJ, lmao):

ESFP:

♥ I thought I was an ESFP because I like to live in the moment and I prefer sensory information over abstract. I relate to the description of tertiary Te and inferior Ni. I think that living in the moment should be an enjoyable experience so therefore, stressing out over future stuff is pointless and unnecessary unless you actually do something about it (which is what I perceived as "Te"). 

♥ However, I'm not all about fun and new experiences. I think work can be an enjoyable thing but I don't like anything trying to place limits on my experiences. I don't like having restrictive schedules placed on me ( I always find myself able to have fun inside of these schedules but it doesn't make me hate them any less). 

♥ I don't get bored quickly and I would hate to be called creative (some people call me that) because I don't think I can come up with a bunch of ideas. I'm slow and stagnant when it comes to ideas. I'm picky with aesthetics and I'm not obsessed with creating beauty. I'm more obsessed with people's opinions of me and creating an "image" that I stick to consistently that becomes my identity. I HATE, HATE, ABSOLUTELY HATE being told to plan ahead and focus on the future so I thought this was inferior Ni. 

ESFJ:

♥ I'm starting to think I'm an ESFJ because I get this "gut instincts" about a person or situation and apparently that's a Fe thing. I tend to judge things as "wrong" and "right" according to how other people feel about them and I wanted so desperately to be able to judge things according to how **I** feel about them but it seems like I can't do that. Apparently I constantly use Ti to see if my ideas and opinions stand up to scrutiny (I am recognizing this as I sometimes go back and delete stuff with downvotes or lesser support than someone else and I'm starting to drop out of arguments rather than fight back as I used to). Analyzing stuff related to my own personality sounds dreadful yet for some reason, I'm willing to do this for other people and not dread it?! 

♥ I relate to the description of extroverted feeling being used for quick in-the-moment decision making. I relate to the vibe-reading and constantly keeping tabs on what everyone's thinking and thinking "what can I do that will benefit the most people?" And I feel embarrassed to relate to trying to use my own "mannerisms, expressions, emotions, and capabilities to influence and help others" around me. 

♥ I AM ABSOLUTELY FLOORED TO RELATE TO THE "When the FeSi gets good vibes, feelings, or a sense of something that sparks their interest from another person or group of people, they build on that expression and mirror it back to the person or group." I could just cry when I read a description about FeSi tuning in with others and being easily distracted. I related to a description of FeSi wanting meaningful connections, feeling like a relationship could give you enough power to conquer the world, feeling bleak without a meaningful relationship, and FEELING for others. Also doing things for other people and wondering how the "group feels." 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why I think/don't think I'm ESFP/ESFJ:

ESFJ:

♥♥ I don’t think I’m ESFJ because I don’t consider myself a helpful people-person. I don’t think I’m the type of person that everyone likes despite me wanting to be. I can be rude, cold, distanced, and I can hurt other people’s feelings (ugh, look at me conforming to the stereotypes I try to sway others away from). Most importantly, I really wanted to believe that my sense of self is stable and not depending on others yet I can see how many times my opinions constantly shift and change when I see disagreements and how I keep using all of these different labels in an attempt to get a sense of myself and join all these different subreddits. ♥♥

ESFP:

♥♥ I wanted to think that I was an ESFP because of the stable sense of self. I thought I would be able to judge situations based on how I feel and I don’t think I related to auxiliary Si. I thought I was more tertiary Te and inferior Ni because I absolutely hate  planning ahead yet relying on the logic of others seems like something I would do (and have done multiple times before). I don’t want to have Ne because I don’t want to be seen as a creative person. ♥♥

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think I’m going in loops. I REALLY need someone outside to look in on all of this and give me some objective logic. Thank you <333 

What do ESFPs think (lmao I'm kicking myself out of the group 😭)? Am I one of you guys?

First time posting here because it just dawned upon me that I have pure feelings for my esfp friend who happens to also be my boss. Nothing of the romantic or sexual kind so I am not sure how to explain but I just care too much for him.

A situation happened a year ago where I got betrayed by him and it involved another person (girl) and he tried to make up for it and got really close to me. We worked things out except I have realized that whenever he is around other people, especially girls, anything that remotely takes me back to that situation where my trust got broken and I ended up in therapy for a few months, I just start feeling super insecure.

And I can now see this causing problems. He is flirtatious and I tried to accept that. But I get so blank and upset and overwhelmed with emotions that I am unable to see through reason. I think I am becoming a cause of pain for him and that drives me even crazier because that's the last thing I'd want for someone whom I care so much for. What to do? Esfps, please help.

I, ENFJ 27M, was in relationship with this girl, ESFP 25F for about 2 years, who I genuinely, deeply loved and cared about. She made me the happiest like no one else, she has a heart of a child and finds fun in everything. However, she also brought me intense pain, by seeking out flings outside the relationship, and just generally being compulsive and dishonest. In short, I broke up with her when I found out she was smearing my name and was emotionally cheating. I was furious and did not handle it maturely, I threatened to expose her behaviors (which I didn't in the end) and forced her to leave the apartment we rented together, against her will. She said she hated me and we never interacted since.

It has been a year since, I worked a lot on myself and I am no longer holding any anger towards her. In fact I still really care about her. Sometimes when I see that she's facing difficulties in life (she vents on social media, and yes I stalked), I still feel bad for her and hope I could be there for her. After the break up, I learned a lot about ESFPs, I realized that we were both immature, I wasn't giving her enough space (which I learned that ESFPs need a lot) and she wasn't really good at expressing her true feelings, which resulted in her seeking it out elsewhere.

To this day, I am still longing for the day she comes back with an apology, it's wishful thinking, I know. For the 2 years we've been together I know her as a person who doesn't look back with remorse. I respected her and never bothered her, and she appears to have moved on quite quickly. She also broke it off with the other guy. It bothers me to know that we ended badly a relationship that otherwise could've been beautiful.

Anyway, I am recently thinking about reaching out to her and just talk without any baggage from the past. I believe we don't have to be like this, we could still be friends that care for each other, or maybe, something more? Is that likely, given that enough time has passed and we both have learned from our mistakes? As an ESFP, who lives in the moment, do you ever think about reconnecting with past lovers? Let me know what you think, I'd appreciate it, thank you.

UPDATE: So I texted her today, after getting a bit tipsy. We have been literally in no-contact for over a year. She was surprisingly receptive. We were able to talk about our past peacefully, both of us acknowledged our mistakes. We updated each other on how our lives have been going, had a few jokes for old times sake, and wished each other well. I am very surprised and grateful, because I know how unlikely it is to get a closure like this, I thought I'd never get it. Thank you again for your support and encouragement.

I took the new Cs Joseph test (the new long version) and got isfp twice. Also SDUF in the octagram test. idk what you'd like to know to help me figure it out, so plz feel free to ask me any questions to help figure out my type. Thanks alot!!!

.

After everything happened between us and years pass by and I still think of her but I was never a priority for her and she saw me as someone of those in her social circle

That’s it.

What was their mbti

There’s a story I’m creating one of the themes is self discovery although Mbti won’t be mentioned it is used as inspiration for world building.

16 lands(each one representing a type) and 8 functions as powers. It’s like Hunter x Hunter where there are 6 types of aura that is their power system. How they use it is completely based on the person

Out of all the functions I feel like it was easier to come up with powers for Se but I thought it’d still nice to ask for your input.

For Se users I’ve come up with they can manipulate things in the present moment. (Ex. Manipulate surroundings, trajectory manipulation, sensory overload, gravity manipulation)

Passive- Fast reaction time

I wish to portray Se accurately while also making it an ability and I also have an idea of them countering functions such as Se vs Si what do you think that would be like? What are some ideas you have?

Also only leaders can are able to use four functions normally civilians can only use 1. Although down the stack it’s less strong and if they’re in distress such as in despair or in danger they go through looping with their first and third function making it a toxic power. How would you use your functions?

I know we are the happy energetic type, but we are also very sensitive so that could lead to depression. What do you think?

I have gathered various information from multiple MBTI sources to better understand how Se works and have synthesized it :

1/ Trust Your Awareness : Se is highly tuned into the present moment and the physical world. Learn to trust your observations and reactions, even if they seem instinctive. Over time, you’ll notice the accuracy and immediacy of your sensory awareness.

2/ Embrace the Here and Now : Se processes information in real-time, focusing on what’s immediately relevant. Allow yourself to experience each moment fully rather than thinking too far ahead. It’s natural for insights to arise spontaneously as you engage with your surroundings.

3/ Focus on Practical Action : Se gravitates toward tangible experiences and hands-on action. Use this strength to stay focused on practical goals, even when abstract ideas feel less engaging. Your power lies in taking decisive action and making things happen in real-time.

4/ Engage with Physical Experiences : Se thrives in activities that stimulate the senses and involve physical engagement. Explore new places, try hands-on hobbies, or engage in sports. This will satisfy your natural drive to connect with the world actively.

5/ Balance with Reflection : Since Se can sometimes lead to impulsiveness, take moments to reflect on your actions and consider long-term consequences. Balancing your spontaneous nature with occasional reflection helps you make thoughtful, sustainable choices.

6/ Learn from Immediate Feedback : Se draws from instant feedback to improve skills and actions. Reflect on the immediate outcomes of your experiences, as noticing patterns in real-time results can help you make quick, informed adjustments.

7/ Seek Dynamic Environments : Se often works best in lively, changing settings. Surround yourself with stimulating activities and environments where you can actively participate and respond to the moment, allowing your natural adaptability and energy to thrive.

Please feel free to give your opinion.

Check the other MBTI subreddit or my profile to see the summary of the other functions.

How difficult is it for you to struggle with depression and boredom and emptiness as an ESFP girl?

What do you struggle with most other women in your friendship or relationships

I always see that esfp women are the most successful to blend with other women and make friends so I would like to know your struggles

That makes them (maybe us, gulp!) valuable, no?

Microtrend here. I am not even able to use the INTJ functions properly. Does anyone know how to escape the subconscious? I am 24/07 in a crisis (<- and apparently love playing the victim). What helped before, to return to ESFP ego, was being surrounded by people all day, every day. I mutated to a real nonsense-talker, turning any statement, I was confronted with, into sounding sexual. That's sth. possible inside a mental hospital (meaning the access to people), but not irl. Everyone aims for his own needs. I don't have any needs to fight for, if alone. So, do you think, it is possible to escape loneliness by forcing people to stick around oneself? If not, what else to do? Is anyone experienced enough to reflect over all of their four states of the mind and know how to influence them?

Hello ESFPs! I am INTJ(M20) and just starting dating ESFP(F19). We had been friends for four years before we decided we loved each other. I feel like she completes me and her work so well together so far. We are 1 month into the relationship and hopefully we’ll make it to marriage. I know everyone’s personalities are different, so I’ll take your answers with a pinch of salt. What is some advice for dating an ESFP? Any fun story or just problems that might come up in our relationship and how to deal with them with love is informative . With all due respect, me.

We even have the same fashion

Title says it all. Let’s DM!

i used to believe i was ESTP, discovered there were other tests to take (michael caloz and sakinorva) and consistently got typed ESFP.

what do you think differs ESFP from ESTP?

As the title explains I found the picture on TT and made it my discord pfp but my photo library got wiped, does anybody know where I can find the full pfp again?