Mine is classical, worship, dance, and rock. What is yours?

Hi ISFJs, All my life I avoid to make any decisions for a group. I'm talking about the casual things in this post.

For instance, this weekend I dont know why but I suggested a restaurant to my college friends (Group of 4), and in the end the experience (Food+service) was not at all good. They didn't say anything to me personally, but it was like day ruined.. we all are really great friends but anyways I felt bad.

I wished I had let them take a decision like always, because in the end if it's not good, I can understand the situation

Anyone with the Turbulent Defender Superpower or the Defender Guide to Inner Peace pdf to share?

A glass child is described as a sibling of a special needs child who may grow up feeling invisible or minimized. I didn't know this until I was recently describing ISFJ traits to someone, and they successfully guessed that I grew up with a sibling who needed special accommodation. It really threw me for a loop and had me wondering if this is a common thing among ISFJs. Can anyone here relate?

Is there something wrong with my ISFJ drive? Am I not an ISFJ anymore?? Pastor asked me a year ago "what is stealing your love?" It's not porn, or video games, or sports, or my job, or anything that I can legitimately think of.

I've been married for 15 years. Together for 18. It's been a slog. A Vietnam-in-the-rainy-season kind of slog. We were never good together but I married her anyway, don't ask me why.

I'm asking the questions. I'll keep this short.

Wifey and I had a misunderstanding last night, Saturday. I said something stupid and unthinkingly but didn't get to address it cuz wifey goes off on a rabbit trail BECAUSE OF the stupid thing I said. She lambasts me for everything, I'm trying to gather information, asking questions, and that thing is making her more upset. I exploded. Cuz she kept interrupting me and getting angry at my asking questions. WHICH I'M SUPPOSED TO DO RIGHT? This is on top of something that happened Friday night that was also really dumb. On her. I've also had the flu since last Monday.

I got up this morning, pretty late, she got up early for LITERALLY the first time in her life. She asks if I can join her on the couch. I plop down, we chat, and then I tell her that I want to get counseling from Mike and Sue BY MYSELF on Tuesday. She's like, "oh, what are you gonna talk about?". And I said "I don't want to tell you. I just want to talk to them so I don't get interrupted and stuff". (I know and I don't know what happened in her birch tree brain at that moment.) She starts to push and ask again and again. I tell her nope. Don't worry about it. Please lay off. And she pushes some more a 3rd time. And I explode. I lose it. I yell at her "Im done with you".

So here's my question.

Am I still an ISFJ? Is there another type that just DUCKING loses it when they are pushed and nagged and hassled? I seem to be incapable of doing THIS (see below) 👇

The elderly man sets down his newspaper and looks past his bifocals. With a knowing grin he says "My darling. What's wrong. What are you afraid of? Give an old man and his creeky bones some space to breathe". He leans in as though for a kiss but only says his gentle hand on her knee. "I'm here for you." His voice was otherworldly. He is small, dark hair, a mustache on his face, but you'd think he was Santa Clause with his deep baritone of love. The old woman flushed. She read about men like this, in books, when she was young and stupid. Her cares melt away for just a moment as she imagined the mustache tickling her cheek, then her forehead, then her lips, and neck.....

THAT. I can't do THAT.

Here is how my functions work as an ISFJ:

Si - I am often looking into my impressionistic memory and there are many things in my environment which can trigger a vivid past experience in me. I also detect many sorts of details which others simply don't notice at all. Additionally, I tend to repeat things I like pretty often to get that same impression such as often returning to my favorite music or YT videos. I can also be pretty affected by past experience in my decisions.

Fe - I used to think I may have Te-Fi, but I realized that I care a lot about what others think of me, and I try hard to maintain an harmonious atmosphere. While I can be socially awkward, that doesn't mean I don't care about other people's feelings, and they can be a factor in some my decisions. Fe combined with Si can also make me pretty moralistic and focused on other people's expectations.

Ti - I enjoy analyzing new topics and ideas and finding logical inconsistencies. I am not very interested in heated debates or tough political discussions, but I can still enjoy a good debate here and there. I am also rather perfectionistic and I am pretty much precise with word usage, terminology, and I need to make the best and logically sound decisions rather than just going with what works. I also highly favor honesty/the truth and I don't compromise it in favor of social harmony.

Ne - When I am really stressed, I start worrying about all sorts of dangers lurking around me, and I tend to get stuck in the past constantly analyzing what I have done wrong, and whether I have done something grave and irrecoverable. While I am pretty open to new ideas and perspectives, I am often quite skeptical about things which other people jump into far more readily. I am also rather pessimistic and have a Murphy's Law approach to life. I tend to be insecure about this function instead of repressing or disliking it.

But I have noticed quite a lot of traits of me which doesn't really vibe with ISFJ cognition:

• I notice connections between loosely related thngs pretty often and I can even utilize it as a strength while studying or creating stuff. That simply doesn't sound like how an ISFJ would approach things. A typical ISFJ would be more likely to have a very structured approach to information and studying as a whole if not as physically organized and scheduled as an ISTJ.
• My interests can often have a creative and theoretical bent, such as neuroscience, video editing, speedcubing, typology, and many others. I may also switch interests whenever I feel bored by my current interests, which it makes it hard for me to choose a single niche for life. A typical ISFJ would be more of a specialist who really dives deep into a single interest and not really change things up.
• I believe that you should change things up when the old method is simply not as efficient or interesting anymore, and I may change my tactics and methods pretty often while doing things like exercising, studying medicine, etc. I wish I could be better with having a solid routine but that may just be the lack of Te. A typical ISFJ would be far more reliant on what is tried-and-true and using that for a long time. While I may trust what is tried-and-true in a new situation, I am also ready to change my approach when the situation calls for it and I am not even a very healthy or mature ISFJ, just an average or below average health one.
• I am not very similar to the other Si-doms in my life. They just seem to be more traditional in their approach, vastly prefering the concrete over the conceptual, and they seem to be more planful than I am. The people who are the most similar to me tend to be INTP, INFP, or something similar to these.
• As for my other typologies, I am 6w7 649 so/sp for Enneagram, and as for Big Five, I score high in Openness and Neuroticism, moderately high in Agreeableness, average in Extraversion, and low in Conscientiousness.

Can an ISFJ even have these sets of cognitive traits? I think I may be an ISFJ with much higher Ne than usual but I don't really consider ESFJ as I don't think of myself as an Fe-dom or even a Feeling dom in general.

I think my partner is the only one who knows how much time I need away from people, but at three different workplaces, I've had people act surprised when I talk about how much I'm not extraverted. One time I was even asked for advice on being socially popular. What are your experiences?

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My current typology: ISFJ 6w7 649 so/sp SLUAI

People are telling that 6+4 combo is pretty much suffering. But in my case, the inferior Ne makes it even worse. I want to be unique and extraordinary but then I catastrophize about everything that could go wrong, including my reputation in my social circle. I can hardcore get really stuck in the past because what if I have made a grave mistake a few years ago? I am unable to enjoy the present and just enjoy the conversation because my mind is always in the past or the future.

Si-dom is supposed to be about stabilizing and utilizing positive past experiences in new situations and preparing for potential mishaps. In my case however? Seeing every single ominous detail which can give way into terrible disaster any time in the future, and no one else other than you notice these details. It makes me extremely hypervigilant for no reason. My mind just scans for every single possible danger and I simply can't stop it. I thought I was an INTP as I can be socially awkward and blunder certain social situations but nope, it is clearly connected to the fear of sinister possibilities which could ruin my life full force.

Then, there is me being the whistleblower who emotionally reacts to any information which can be connected to a possible danger, including my own past experiences. Calm logical analysis and deep learning just goes out of the window in favor of generating every single negative possibility and reacting to each and every one emotionally. And finally, I am very prone to perceiving my own faults as a possible disorder or illness, mental or physical. Basically pathologizing my own faults and worrying that I may actually have a serious incurable mental condition comparable to rabies which can totally ruin my life.

Also, I don't even fit into the ISFJ notions of being a quiet stabilizer of situations and someone who is highly practical and focuses on the bare essentials. I tend to explore quite a lot of things and I tend to switch interests often as I can get really curious about a lot of things. I can also entertain pretty counterculture ideas related to career or become creative in my approaches instead of relying predominantly on the tried-and-true or past experience. I also often jump from topic to topic in my speech and not really match with the current topic of the conversation. These experiences all made me consider xNTP. But that may be because I am going against the stereotypes of ISFJ by being somehow "counterphobic". That means I get into inferior Ne pretty often and I get pretty nervous about all sorts of unrealistic disasters and conspiracies. Can an ISFJ even be like that to the point of being confused for an high Ne type?

Maybe it is because of the Ne grip which I have been in for a pretty long time as I tend to envy high Ne users a lot because of their effortlessly flexible lifestyle and emotional stability/calmness (especially ENxP) but how can I get out of this suffering?

I always thought I was an INTP but with a well developed Fe because I'm incredibly emotional a lot of the time, but never thought to consider being an ISFJ until a recent chat with someone who thought I was one, now I'm really on the fence about which am I and would like hearing people who had the same experience. (If you could point some main differences between both, it'd be very helpful too!)

I'm an ISFJ. I have been for a while. I was an ISFJ when I first started saying my wife, thinking it'd be cool if she was more masculine in the relationship and I was more feminine. (Please, I've learned a lot since 2006)

Anyway, I'm constantly insecure and afraid of what other people think, even if deep down I couldn't give a frick even less. I guess its more about being able to have a "workable" acquaintance with someone instead of alienating and bulldozing.

And I really need to pat myself on the back for something I did. Small out may be to you Ennea 8's!

I was out sick the last 2 days from flu ish your stuff. Office had a planned potluck for today (October 31st) which totally flew out of my head. I was gonna bring hummus. I was in the break room, and this chick was in there, and she says to me "too bad you'll miss out on all the food". I didn't hear her so i asked her to repeat. When I understood I asked jokingly "why?" and she says cuz you didn't bring anything to share.... I'm like "heh, oh". And that really really bothered me. Plus I had no idea if she was joking or not. I don't think she was. She very standoffish to me most days.

People start digging in at 1130 and I'm feeling really embarrassed. Noon rolls around and I'm like, nah, f that, I'm getting mine. I stand up, and walk into that area with all the food, and there's that chick, i grab a plate and take some food. no questions asked.

Is that not legitimately awesome of me?

Hi my people❤️ I'm really struggling right now & I thought that this would be the best place to ask for some advice/insight. Over the past 2 weeks, I've been (over)thinking my life plans which I had wanted to achieve by end of this year, as well as money issues, social issues (my social anxiety has gotten worse recently, esp in my close relationships). Up until this point, I realized I had been putting too little pressure on myself to achieve the things I want, but due to the overthinking, I have swung to the opposite end & now putting too much pressure on myself... Which resulted in an emotional breakdown last night & I couldn't sleep well.

For those who have gone through this before & found a healthy way of doing it, or maybe if you can see something I can't see, what do you think I could try to regain some internal balance? Thank you...

How to tell if someone is a Sensor or Intuitive? I want to avoid this fallacy as best as I can

I've studied MBTI as a hobby for a year or two. (Not sure if this is relavent but I'm certain I'm not an ENTJ because I've notice I've done things that are akin to sharpening a dull knife instead of buying a new one ) Since I plan on using MBTI to read people,I wanted to know how Intuition vs Sensing works. I was wondering if you can give me some better examples than ie. 'Oh Se likes sports'/'Si is sentimental af' something along the lines of those. And also,are there any sources that are non-english? It would be appreciated if you guys can recommend a few.

I first took the MBTI test several years ago and tested as ISFP, which I resonated with a lil bit, but not entirely…then last year I tested as an INFP, which I relate to a bit more, but something still didn’t feel quite right…now I’m discovering more about ISFJs and I really think I’ve found my people…now things are finally starting to make sense!! 🥹

This is my first post in this subreddit. I've mostly been a commenter or a witness up 'till now.

I often hear about how a lot of people's parents are ISFJs which I'm frankly a bit tired of hearing because I feel like people label one's parent as an ISFJ simply due to the parental aspect or I hardly hear about parents that aren't ISFJs. I want to hear about what type you know or suspect your parent(s) is (are) if they aren't an ISFJ, and if they are... still comment anyway LOL. What makes you believe/sure that's their type and what's a summary of your experience with them?

★ I suspect my mom is an ExTJ, possibly an ESTJ. I suspect my dad is an IxTP, ISTP specifically, but I don't have much info on him like I do with my mom, so I'll discuss her instead. Granted, I'm still studying cognitive functions, so I apologize if some of these descriptions of these functions inaccurate. 🥲

☆ The possible presence of [VERY high] Te.

She's very action-oriented. She gets shit done very efficiently. "Get it out the way now, so you won't have to worry about it later" is a phrase I hear from her a lot. She's very objective and sees a lot for what it is. "That's just what it is" is also a phrase she uses often. She sets goals and firmly sticks to them, hardly thinking twice about her decision. If derailed, let's just say... pissed is an understatement. She does not at all [like to] move on a whim. She preps everything well ahead of time. She often pushes others to get stuff done, be responsible, or take accountability.

☆ The possible presence of [low] Fi.

She doesn't at ALL coddle nor cater to the emotions of others. I mean she's VERY direct and blunt; doesn't hold her tongue at all. She's more of a cognitive empathizer than an emotional one. She can't stand when someone's overly emotional. She has very strong values and beliefs that are very unlikely to change unless you give her a good, thorough explanation as to why they should. She can't thrive or vibe if she's in an environment where she can't be authentic around others. She's incredibly private with her emotions and feelings. She hates feeling like she doesn't do enough or like her efforts mean nothing.

★ Now this is where I believe she's possibly an ESTJ...

☆ Possible presence of Si.

She seems to navigate the present and future based on her own past experiences, or what she's learned previously. If you hurt her, she'll keep what you did filed in the cabinet of her mind for years to come or maybe even dwell some. As social and outgoing as she is, she's cautious about who she befriends and acquaints herself with due to previous negative experiences.

☆ Possible presence of Ne.

"You never know" is a phrase I abhor hearing from her sometimes... 😭 in regards to possible outcomes, so she's always prepared. She tends to stick to her usual, but doesn't have any problem exploring new possibilities outside of it. Not unless she feels like she really has to or sees reason to. She's capable of seeing other ways, perspectives, such and so forth, but... again she sticks to her own.

As for experiences, my mother uses her life experiences to teach me how to navigate life. I assume she's very protective because I ended growing up sheltered though her reasoning is she want to keep us from seeing/experiencing the horrors of the world. She's VERY big on family and cooperation, like she hates [seeing] discord between her loved ones, so she intervenes and helps sort it out. She can be empathetic... when she wants to be, but it's this lack of empathy where we've butted heads QUITE A LOT. I admire how she's always on a grind and has the ability to motivate others, but personally me I feel like she can be too pushy sometimes which aggravates and exhausts me. It can be frustrating how she can be adverse to trying something new a lot of the time, but it's not like I'm much different honestly LMAO. If she cares about you, but you do something stupid she'll fuss you out about it then give you advice on what you can do to be better.

I think I said something to an ISFJ that called out her bad behavior and it unintentionally pushed her away. I didn't mean to spotlight her actions. It just blurted out. I could tell by micro expression, she felt called out but just went along with it when I moved onto a different subject. The rest of our time was fine and she just showed a face of her usual, calm, helpful self until we parted ways.

However, after that day, our texts and her usual rhythm of our convos and such were very off and I think she's passive aggressively mad, but too embarrassed/shameful or whatever to admit it. So she's giving semi silent treatment. Answers when I text, quite cheerily yet VERY shortly, and doesn't reach out first when she used to all the time. So, no direct show of anger/resentment, but show of extreme difference of usual behavior, in a colder/shorter way. : (

What I called out wasn't even that big of a deal in my opinion; I still care about her deeply and want to stay friends, but I don't know how to bring this distance up properly without inflicting that moment or making her more "masky/hidey" by bringing it up. Thankfully she isn't mentioning ending our friendship or anything but it feels like she's pulling away. I even asked when we're hanging out next and she said she's busy for awhile. Ahhh the DOOM response. I know it is a busy time at her work for real, but it just feels like good timing for her as something she can use as an excuse. I just said that's cool and let me know when that busy stuff ends, but who knows, right?

I don't want to end this : (

I read in a couple places where ISFJs get very sensitive when they get called out for their bad behavior. Of course everyone does, but ISFJs very strongly, so this made me guess it more.

For now, after sending a couple memes and such first to show her I'm trying to talk (which she gives the short response to), I'm giving her some distance. I hope she'll text something, anything, first soon.

Ahhh what can I do, guys? I'm ENFP btw.

I’ve been struggling for so long with this negative trait of mine. I can’t generalize all ISFJ share this but for me, the “bitchiness” sometimes just comes out, most of the time I don’t even intend to be rude, I just realize it’s rude after the words are out of my mouth, which even if you apologize it’s already late (actually apologizing makes you look fake even though you’re genuinely sorry)

I just wonder if this is something you all struggle with as well.

Follow up from: https://www.reddit.com/r/isfj/s/V3wfG822bU

My (39/M/INTJ) date with the most wonderful ISFJ (35/F) in my life is definitely happening next week. We've been texting for the past 3 and a half hours, and it's confirmed. She texted again first 😊.

Exciting, but also a bit overwhelmed, since I want need this to go well. Back at the drawing board trying to plan this date.

Would appreciate hearing from ISFJs about what their perfect date would look like.

P.S. Thank you all who responded to the last post! The responses were really helpful, and glad to know there are some of you out there shipping INTJ×ISFJ.

please entertain my question and answer with a type, but if you don’t have a specific type as an answer then don’t. also girls or nonbinary if you want you can answer too 🫶

There’s a story I’m creating one of the themes is self discovery although Mbti won’t be mentioned it is used as inspiration for world building.

16 lands(each one representing a type) and 8 functions as powers. It’s kinda like Hunter x Hunter where there are 6 types of aura that is their power system. How they use it is completely based on the person.

For Si users I’ve come up with they can use past experiences. Such as being able to bring up something like a weapon or a skill to the present moment. If they were being attacked they can go back to a spot they were previously to avoid it. (Ex. Reverse injuries, memory/skill recall, Past illusion)

Passive- I wasn’t sure if the passive should be detailed memory/controlled stress responses but someone said Stamine suited Si better idk

Someone told me that wasn’t right with Si it’s not only past experiences and I’m having trouble trying to find the best way to express Si accurately while also making it an ability. Also functions can counter each other such as Si vs Se how would that look like? What ideas do you have?

Also only leaders can are able to use four functions normally civilians can only use 1. Although down the stack it’s less strong and if they’re in distress such as in despair or in danger they go through looping with their first and third function making it a toxic power. How would you use your functions?