Throwaway account.

I’m (22) au/adhd and I’ve been through a lot. Maladaptive daydreaming has been my coping mechanism for my entire life.

Recently it’s gotten really bad, worse than usual. I spend my entire day daydreaming now. I rarely leave the house anymore, except for food or other necessities. I think I’m starting to develop agoraphobia because of anxiety. Hours, days, weeks will pass and I won’t even fucking know it.

I have a partner who lives with me. They’re also autistic and I can only imagine how hard it must be for them to deal with my bs.

Dealing with poverty, amongst other things, I’m only just now trying to get the help I need for it. I’ve already made phone calls with therapists, psychiatrists. It was really hard but I did it. The process is slow but it’s in motion.

My partner and I were talking—they mentioned how they want to spend more time with me. I’m all for that. But they want me to either do activities outside with them (they know I struggle with that) or play video games together (I haven’t played in a while cause, y’know, depression).

I explained that to them for the thousandth time (not literally, but at this point it feels like it), and that we could do something together inside. But then they brought up how I’m always on my phone and that I need to come back to reality. Argument ensued.

I’m just hurt because I thought they understood. They know my history, they’ve seen the shit I’ve had to deal with firsthand. This isn’t the first time they’ve mentioned it. It’s starting to feel like they resent me for something I can’t even control.

I’m not mad at them for being frustrated, it’s just… do you think I’m doing this on purpose? You say that like it’s a fucking switch I can just turn off whenever I want. That I’m CHOOSING to be affected by years of unmedicated adhd, anxiety, depression, fucking PTSD.

I’m trying to get the help I need, and you’re supposed to be my fucking support. Why criticize me for this bullshit when I already do enough of that to myself? You think I don’t already know that it’s not healthy? I KNOW IT’S NOT BUT IT’S ALL I FUCKING GOT RIGHT NOW.

Anyway, vent over. Thanks for reading.

That's just when you cut out on artificial dopamine sources for example sugar, tv, social media etc . There's actually a whole sub for it. I started one yesterday and dding has already gone up. I'm trying to do no Instagram, Whatsapp, or YouTube for a month. But YouTube just a little like once a day I'm my phone. I was watching something while I was eating my lunch right now.

Do you hold yourself responsible for the experiences you have resulting from the actions you take in the past/present?

Looking into it, I think I prob do but I want to hear your guys opinions. Ok so, I guess it started around 2 or 3 years ago, when I was sitting outside and listening to music. All the sudden, I started thinking about how cool it would be to be a main character in a show i was obsessed with at the time. idk why. started thinking about it and then as my songs were playing i guess i just started imagining this character that was me like doing stuff with the song in the background and like kind of editing it to the song in my head. i’ve gone to the same spot everyday that i can since then to do the same thing, although the scenarios and songs have changed over the years. i can do it anywhere but i always have to be listening to music, and i just prefer that spot. the songs are usually like short edit audios or tik tok audios. i’ve created whole, complex storylines for these characters. they’re usually a version of me but different and bent to fit into the show or story i base it off of. i usually just imagine the same few until i get bored of them then find a new obsession and form a new story and scenario based off that. I have severe ADHD and so i don’t know if it’s just that acting up or if there’s something more like maladaptive daydreaming. this has been a huge insecurity for me. nobody else knows that i do this, my parents think i just like to be outside. they don’t know what i’m doing out there and i’m too afraid to tell them. i don’t want anyone to judge me for it lol but i can’t stop. i really want to hear what you guys think so just lmk.

maladaptive daydreaming is a form of dissociation. and I’ve been daydreaming ever since I was a child. I’ve noticed that I have hard times remembering my childhood, actually I can’t really recall anything from my younger years. does anyone else experience this?

Hi all,

I (29m) have been a daydreamer all of my life but recently it seems to have been more worrisome to me. I recently went through a period of intense dissociation for a few months, coupled with intense anxiety and followed by a depression.

I have always created scenarios in my head. Im usually describing what Im doing like im making a tutorial video. If I’m washing the dishes I’ll be describing why I wash one plate before another, how much soap to use, when to let something soak, etc. I’ve also always created made up situations with people I know. If I’m meeting a friend I’ll imagine things I’ll say and how they’ll respond before getting there. I can also play out arguments that I have no reason to suspect will actually happen. Ill invent some sort of conflict and come up with reasons why the other person is wrong. The problem being there is no conflict and the imaginary scenario impacts how I feel towards people in my life. I should state that I know its not real, but I also cant help doing it.

I think recently it has felt more out of my control and constant. I have a hard time thinking of anything else. I find that if im with people or have a task to focus on I can distract myself enough to get some relief, but when Im alone and sitting in silence my brain starts going too fast and it makes me anxious.

Is this maladaptive daydreaming? How do you manage it? My therapist thinks it could be OCD or mania brought on by stress. Were trying lamictal to see if it helps after I taper off Lexapro. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

I feel like I'm not real and fake and that every real life conversation I do have is me pretending for an audience or something. I can't connect to my emotions or who I am. It's just like I'm forever stuck trying to act how I should be acting and feeling fake. It's like I'm putting on a performance all the time

personally, i think MD definitely has helped me socially in a sense since i imagine so many conversations in my head, but at the same time i also feel like when confronted with a unpredictable situation in the real world i don’t always know how to respond since im actually not very socialized to handle things that haven’t been within my own bounds of my own mind. interested to hear others experiences on this

Hi,

I am not even sure how to formulate my question or what to ask. Basically I started MD when my mum got sick with cancer. I felt very lonely being an only child and also very confused because my family never talked to me about my mum sickness. She died when I was 12. 10 years after, I am still here, still maladapting. I have mostly 3 scenarios: one where I am myself and talk with some friends but like secretly my favourite actors are listening to me (so I tailor my conversation to what they might like or think of me), another one where I am part of the world of the movie those actors come from. So I have a whole story line, I imagine myself differently etc., and another where I am older and I am an ideal version of myself. Lately, I was being so good at monitoring my MD, and yes I was still into it but trying to use it less. This week I am dealing with a lot because I have to say goodbye to my therapist and also I am constantly anxious because it’s my graduation year. Now it’s 3 am in the morning and instead of sleeping I spent the last 2 hours walking around and maladapting.

I need it to stop. I need it to stop because it controls my life. I need it to stop because i can’t enjoy anymore the movie and the characters I daydream on without feeling a burning sense of shame and cringe. I need to stop because one of the actresses that plays a character in my MD died 3 years ago of cancer, like my mum. So everytime I remember it while I daydream I get incredibly sad and have to tolerate the immense pain for my mum’s death and also the pain for her death, as if I knew her irl. And it’s even worse because it’s someone I never even met so I feel like I am missing someone that I can’t even grasp.

I am so sick of it. And I really don’t know what to do. I don’t even feel comfortable enough to talk about it with someone outside of this sub Reddit. And I don’t even feel like I can say out loud which fandom is. It just feels like an open wound.

I’ve been doing this for over a decade now but only became conscious of it 3-4 years ago. Since then I’ve been actively trying to stop but can’t because I am so depressed and it is my only escape (I don’t do drugs, alcohol, engage in casual sex, etc)

.

I’ve always had bad MDD and I’m just now starting to look more into it (I think it’s a symptom of my OCD / obsessive thinking).

I realized that my daydreams are at an all-time high when I’m romantically interested in a specific person. I tend to ‘act out’ my daydreams, so to speak, when no one’s around or paying attention to me and it’s usually about the person I’m crushing on, spending time with them + their friends / family, them spending time with me + my friends / family, etc

Whenever I start to realize I’m deep into a daydream, I try to snap back to reality bc I don’t want it to mess with my potential experience with the person + I definitely don’t want them to feel like I’m crazily obsessing over them (although, with my OCD I guess that is what’s happening…)

Do you do this / have any advice on how to minimize it ?

I’ve been struggling with maladaptive daydreaming for as long as I can remember, but I think mine might be worse than usual. It’s not something I do just in my free time or when I’m bored—it’s constant, every second of the day. Anytime something happens to me, I immediately create a scenario where I’m telling the people in my daydreams about it.

The people in these daydreams aren’t imaginary; they’re real people I know, like my friends or acquaintances. It’s not even about idealizing them—I just pick people I wish I were closer to. For example, there’s this guy I’m friendly with. We’re not super close, but we hang out sometimes. In my daydreams, we’re best friends. I don’t even have a crush on him; I just think he’s cool. That’s just one example—there are lots of others.

The scenarios I imagine are kind of weird too. Every now and then, I pick a random place in my town and imagine these people (friends, crushes, etc.) being there. Then I picture myself arriving and talking to them. I’ll repeat the same scenario for about a week before coming up with a new one, usually with the same people in a different place.

I’ve tried to stop, but it feels impossible—like trying to stop blinking. When I try, I can’t tell what’s normal daydreaming and what’s maladaptive. On top of that, I have to move around while I’m imagining these scenarios. I catch myself whispering, talking to myself, or even making faces, and it makes me so paranoid that I look crazy, like I have schizophrenia or something.

I’m 16, and I’ve been doing this my entire life. I don’t want to keep living this way, but I don’t know how to stop.

(i would also like to add that i CANNOT talk to my parents or ANYONE about these daydreams cause they dont believe in it)

At least I don’t think it does? Of course it affects my grades but I usually have A’s and B’s. It might be affecting my social life but I also have my own friends that just know me as a little weird, plus I don’t want to be friends with the people who avoid me anyway. I’ve been daydreaming since I was around 7 or 8 and going to therapy has helped me control it better, like if I try I can stay in the present, but if really depends on how much I like the person I’m talking to and what they are talking about. I don’t think it’s really possible for me to quit anyway because my triggers are talking, silence, music, trying to sleep, walking, and any background noise. The only thing that really keeps me grounded is stress/any type of upsetting situation and I don’t think constantly keeping myself upset is healthy. Sorry if this doesn’t make sense I’m just ranting :P

This is my first post on reddit ever but I'm curious. Seriously, when did you realize it got to a point where you started questioning your amount of daydreaming?

To include a little story, I like to listen to music when I have the time, usually before bed and sometimes play subway surfers with it. I let my mind completely wander, honestly it's so much fun imo. Anyways, it once got to a point where I had the highest score in my country, I was at it for at least 2 hours. Thats when I knew it was kinda excessive? Along that I use it to procrastinate and escape everything.

I find so much comfort in it and wonder how others feel about it

so i’ve been practising mindfulness and i recently learned so many things about myself.

there are times when i dream about having a man and that’s when i realise i am actually lonely and wants someone in my life,

when i dream of giving great advice to people is just me trying to give that advice to myself since i am unable to change a certain aspect of myself.

i have a dissociative personality so it technically keeps me really far from myself, meaning i just don’t know who i am, what i want or what i hope for. i literally just don’t know myself , so many times id just look into the mirror and have a moment of depersonalisation cause i literally just don’t know.

i am someone that went through physical abuse so i just feel like this is not even my body. when you go through physical abuse for more than half your life, your body does t feel like yours. someone just beating it abusing it, spitting on it.

maladaptive dreaming is definitely a disadvantage but im glad for it to exist cause without it i wont be here right now.

Maladaptive daydreaming is often discussed for its challenges, but what about its impact on creativity? Many people with MD report vivid, complex daydreams filled with rich storylines, detailed characters, and imaginative worlds. These experiences seem like they could naturally lend themselves to artistic pursuits like storytelling, character design, world-building, and other creative fields.

For instance, could the vivid imagery and elaborate narratives from MD serve as inspiration for writing, art, or music? And if so, how do people translate these ideas into tangible works? On the flip side, does the immersive nature of MD make it harder to focus and complete creative projects?

This raises some interesting questions:

• Has MD helped you create or improve your work in storytelling, visual art, or similar areas?
• Are there strategies you’ve found helpful to channel MD in a way that supports your artistic goals?
• Do you think MD can be seen as a source of untapped creative potential, or does it primarily act as a distraction?

It would be fascinating to hear how others have experienced this, especially those in creative fields.

Anybody else throw on some music, start creating scenarios from the song and then either:

Search endlessly for the perfect song to keep the story going

Or

Stop the music and keep dreaming.

For me, I usually get 2 or 3 songs into a good dream, then I can't find the right song and start pacing without music.

Do you people who have Maladaptive Daydreaming also feels like your mind start daydreaming, associating scenes and people without you being in MD? How do you manage it?
It's like Daydreaming and fantasizing turned into the default mode of my mind, I start creating scenes when I'm showering, when I'm waking up and not totally conscious, basically whatever I'm doing a task that doesn't requires mental energy. After some years having MD I noticed that I unconsciously daydream, its rarely the moments where I'm fully aware and clear of what's happening at the moment, I often try to do the 5-4-3-2-1 method etc, It helps me but after some time my mind start creating random conversations, scenarios and fantasies without me being aware of it again. I often feel like I'm not able to think and reflect like a normal person, maybe daydream has ruined my focus.

From 5th grade to 8th grade I had this daydream where me and my classmates were earth angels and we saved the world a bunch of times. I've been really wanting to daydream about it for so long but the story line doesn't give me that mental high anymore.

One random day in 8th grade I was like "this story line makes no sense". Ever since then it feels impossible to daydream about it.

I'm 18 now and now I mostly daydream about celebrity and falling in love with them or being their family. These daydreams just don't feel the same. I can only daydream when listening to a certain playlist or when trying to fall asleep. With my old one I could daydream for hours and hours.

I miss it so much.

I deeply wish I was other. Not just internal but physically also. I know we can't choose our features since we came to this world without even asking but for once would be good writing our own story. Personally I would like to choose features such as beautiful long red hair and light brown eyes or dark blond with amber caramel ones or even black hair with blue or green hazel eyes or any other fancy combination. My skin is pale as far as I noticed and it is the only trait perhaps I "accept" my personality also would change. I have tried to be different but simply I can't not matter how much hard I try. In my "dreams" I imagine I am a "gorgeous lady" or a "handsome fella" either way that fell in love with that handsome co-worker/friend and get the same feeling back. In reality I just have to fantasize about "him" since I had not chances and possibilities in return. I'm realistic and that's never gonna happens. I'm used to loneliness but still suck and hurts too bad. I recluse myself in my room when I'm not working and keep busy myself. I dreamt one day to become a writer and that makes sense after all since I like to imagine stories where my life is different and happier, with struggles but the life I want and I deserve. I'm not popular at all, quite the contrary and always being like that, into the shadows unfortunately. Never shine, never stand out the crowd. Too dark and shallow inside as same as my eyes and hair color; dark as holes and pools with no hope. I used to read a lot too and love it but that also enhance my maladaptive daydreaming, I realize all my "hobbies" enforce this toxic habit, even listening music to longer periods of time. I'm soft-spoken and my accent is broken when talking and my confidence as low as my voice is at anyplace. I have tried to fake it but in the long run, I lost the battle. Sorry, I'm sad and I accept my fate. This body and this soul don't match together. Never will be.

My comfort character in the series died. Let's just say I don't like to call him that. For me, he's a real person, and a loved one who died. The grief and depression I feel are real. I'm afraid to tell my psychologist this, I'm afraid he'll think I have psychosis or something. I distract myself on Character AI, and elsewhere I only face his death. I try to convince myself that he didn't die, but then reality always comes, that oh, but, he's dead.. Anyway, I'm afraid to share with my psychologist that I'm dreaming. That my life is a disaster, that it will never get better, so in my head I'm at least happy for a little while, until reality comes again and again.. In some ways, dreaming makes my life bitter, but at the same time it saves me, which is why I never want to stop. And I started to deal with topics like lucid dreaming or reality shifting, but so far I haven't gotten anywhere, and I'm afraid that since nothing has ever worked, even these won't. However, if I share these with the specialist, I'm afraid of what he'll think. How do I say that I live completely in my head, that I only talk to the outside world when necessary? Or that when I dream in my room I act things out, with facial expressions, movements, everything, and I look completely crazy? Or that when I'm in a place where I can't do this, I talk to myself? But I really need some help, because it's getting harder and harder. And sorry for the spelling mistakes, English is not my native language!

I've been maladaptive daydreaming since I was a kid but about a year and a half ago, I managed to stop. The way I stopped is by preventing myself from imagining ANYTHING and staying in the present at all times. In many ways, it's helped me out a lot: I've become more social, more confident, in some ways more articulate. But over time, I've been feeling like a lot of what I used to love to do that wasn't even unhealthy is now out of reach.

Problems:

1. Because I'm always in the present, I feel like i can't enjoy the vivid details of my memories anymore because now, I can't even relive them in my mind without some sort of external trigger bringing them back.

2. Even worse, I feel like it's harder for me to do my academic work. Back when I used to use my imagination and daydream, I would (sometimes) daydream about particular assignments because they were interesting to me. Now, ideas don't come as naturally to me anymore. I used to never have a sense of self and that helped me think about the world more objectively and hold more ideas. Now that I feel like I'm in more control of myself, the same ideas which once made me a great student no longer pop up. I'm still doing well in school, but my senior thesis deadline is coming up and I really need to get it done, but it's been so hard for me lately because now it feels like a chore as opposed to a fun puzzle like before.

Question: What do you guys feel like when you use your imagination? Any tips? I wanna be like how i was before without the md but idk if i can.

Something about a good head rush and music that makes you feel like you’re on top of the world is one of the best feelings. I don’t know if it’s an OCD thing but I have to dance around and pretend I’m somewhere else when I hit my vape. If I were to quit vaping, the daydreaming would become more limited. I hope I’m not the only one.

Okay, this is probably the second ever post I've made on reddit but it's the first for this sub.

I've been using maladaptive daydreaming as an escape for so long, I can't really pinpoint the time that it started. I'm writing this because I'm coming to terms that the main daydream I've been using for several years has come to an end, but it's been such a huge part of my life, it feels like a huge part of me is dying and idk how to feel about it.

Im not going into specifics but the daydream in question was born at a time in my life when I hated myself and I hated my life. Because of this, the main protagonist was everything that I wasn't. He was strong, attractive, intelligent, successful, all of the things that I wanted to be so bad but wasn't. I used this dream as an escape from my less than ideal life. I felt so much better when I'd dissappear into it. It's probably the main thing that kept me sane for so many years

This issue now is that I find myself creating new daydreams and spending time in the old one less and less. I realized this and began to notice that this has been a long time coming as I've slowly retired bits and pieces of the dream until I had just the one small part and I would only visit when I was going to sleep. Idk if I was just repressing this or if I genuinely hadn't noticed but I became aware of it in the last few months.

The difference with these new dreams is that they feature me as is and with the exception of the main one I've been on, the rest of the feature me and my life as it is. The main one I think I use as a way to cope with a job that I'm starting to hate but honestly, the others I think my mind just does when it's bored. I have ADHD and ASD so I think my mind just makes these dreams to fill up the void in thought and so I'm not hyper-fixating too much on stuff.

This realization is tearing me to the core. The thought of giving up something so near and dear to me is something I'm really grappling with. It's provoked emotion in me. I'm emotionally detached and emotionally numb and it takes something strong to get a reaction out of me, and this is doing so. It's got me crying and even though I'm not ashamed to do so, that only happens rarely, like maybe 1 or 2 times a year. I feel like a part of me is dying, and even though my mind is desperately screaming for me to save it, I know I shouldn't. My new daydreams featuring the real me shows progress. It shows that I'm no longer ashamed of my life or who I am and could very well be the path to be giving it up altogether. It's a tough pill to swallow

Im trying not to glorify MD and I know it's extremely unhealthy. I'm seeing this shift as being a path towards stopping it completely. I'd also like to hear if anyone has experienced the same situation and how it went for you. I know it's silly to get emotional over this but it's getting to me. I'd like to see this as me having grown as a person and accepting myself for who I am. I know there's still room for change in my life and maybe if I make those changes, the need for an escape will disappear completely

Hello, I'm new to reddit, and since joining the community I've realized the variety of experiences there are. I have always been a very dreamy person, since I was little I had a lot of creativity, and I have always been very good at inventing stories. But all that was normal until the damn pandemic of 2020 arrived, when they locked us down, my whole life changed completely, and that's when I met shifting realities, and my life was completely ruined, shifting made me believe that I could live the lives that I had always wanted to live, and having that freedom to choose "supposedly" compared my current reality in which before knowing shifting I was happy with it, towards Judo, I had many friends and I enjoyed school and when they locked us up they one came back shit, and comparing it with other fictional universes it looked ridiculous, so I tried to make several attempts at shifting, but as is logical, none of them worked, and so I spend 4 years, until today, where I watch a series and start fantasizing about how It would be if I were in the series, what characters would I remove, which would I add, it has gotten to the point that I have rewritten the entire Naruto series just so that my oc would fit into the story, but the worst of all is that when I have finished Doing it leaves me empty because I know that shifting is not real and all I do is fantasize without any purpose and I can't help it because my life here compared to my life looks so good, I don't know what to do to stop Do things like that, do I really love myself so little?