I’m working on a personal project. Trying to create fantasy cultures based off of each of the 16 personalities.

For ESTP, your power is weather manipulation and your animal counterparts are sharks.

This is not a modern society. What would you guys like a fantasy culture based on ESTP to look like?

Disclaimer: I understand that mbti personaliy types are not the sole factor in determining compatiblity and not really a handbook to improve your relationship with someone

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Brief summary of relationship before asking the question

I am an INFJ (f) and dating an ESTP (m) for a couple of months. Initially, I felt like this is the most complementary relationship I've ever had and we're like ying and yang. My strengths are his weaknesses and his strengths are mine.

I'm more of a long term thinker, cautious, trying to analyse every possibility. He's more living in the moment, decisive and real-world person.

I'm a pacifist, mediator, diplomatic, sensitive and caring too much about everyone and anyone kinda person. And he's more direct, blunt and caring about important things only kinda person.

I need more downtime, time to think. He's energetic, quick witted and thinks and decides immediately.

I stress on intentions + actions to be right. He's more of actions should be right and intentions dont matter.

He's also very demanding of my time and love which I absolutely adore but I kinda feel tired and need sleep (mainly bodily needs to sleep and calm my mind down). He's also very giving in real world things and I feel like I'm not used to somebody doing so much for me. I feel so adored and loved and wanted with him.

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Coming to the problem - I didnt tell HIM some things about my past which were irrelevant and I had no intention of knowing his past. But HE told me about HIS and asked me about mine. I wasnt comfortable with it because I had committed to him and didnt want to share anything about my past. So i just gave high level info without exact details of ex, last contacted when etc. It honestly doesnt matter.

In another conversation the same came up and I gave some more details to which he said I broke his trust and am manipulative (which i'm not because that was insignificant and i just didnt want to talk about it). Now we've patched up but I'm afraid I might do something which is NOT a big deal for me but he considers it a big deal, breach of trust.

Again, repeating that I've been completely committed to this guy since we started dating and the past should not matter. But he's talking about complete transparency which is good but I just dont want to go in the past.

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How can I do better in this relationship. ESTPs please help. Also if there's anyone ESTP-INFJ relationship then also please advice

TIA

title. i know this combination isn’t necessarily compatible but im still curious, you guys are cool as shit🫶🏼

what’ve been your experiences w isfps?

As an INTP I tend to procrastinate a lot therefore I want to discover new solutions from different perspectives.

I grew up in an unstable home where reading the air allowed me to prevent further suffering. I have savior complex and can’t live for myself. I’m tired of being taken for granted.

##7 questions. Answer any.

###1. How do I find my natural charisma and learn to rely on it?

(Instead I adapt to others like a chameleon. Very mentally taxing)

###2. How do I internalize a self-first mentality?

(Empathy prevents me. I sacrifice myself for others too easily and punish myself often. I live for others. Selfishness goes against my very nature)

###3. How can I confront others without worrying about repercussions?

(I fear being perceived as arrogant and inconsiderate. I don’t believe in being able to change others)

###4. How do you get over failure or rejection so easily? What’s the thought process?

(I dwell on it forever)

###5. How can I become more open and expressive?

(I have it in me, but my fear of being manipulated or judged prevents me. Walls around me at all times)

###6. What mindset enables me to jump into risky action more easily?

(uncertainty makes me anxious)

###7. Why do you prefer chaos over stability? What makes you thrive in it?

(I’m obsessed with control and predictability. I get burned out analyzing chaotic situations)

##Attributes I want to alter

• I overanalyze everything. Plan before taking action. I never do things impulsively

• Instead of relying on a natural charisma, I try to understand others and constantly anticipate what they want to hear, leading to burnout in social situations.

• As an idealist/perfectionist, I sometimes discard EVERYTHING over minor setbacks in relationships, career, or personal growth.

• Always have barriers up, because I fear rejection and judgement.

• Take accidental hurts seriously, often dwelling on them for months or years.

• I give others more attention, kindness and time than they deserve, resulting in my value being diminished and taken for granted.

• I avoid conflict (unless it’s a fistfight). I bottle up emotions and observe my boundaries getting overstepped. I make the final decision to doorslam or take gradual distance, leaving the person with no chance to fix things.

Thank you.

I'm female, so that's pretty good, right?

Anyone else getting stronger lately?

I'm between ENTP and ESTP, but leaning towards ENTP cuz my Si sucks.

Curious how it usually is for you full fledged ESTPs out there

Context: dad is entj, super controlling childhood no room for my Se to develop. It came out in very rebellious ways after puberty started and grades plummeted, parents reacted, i reacted to them and life from 14 always felt like i was a passnger in my own life as my habits never gave me the fulfilment I craved

Finally understood mbti in mid 2023 and it changed me. Understanding more what my mind favours killed almost all of my introverted behaviours I had like being a cinephile, smoking weed, partaking on intellectual debates etc(my Ti likes it but I do it less and less these days). Now its all about being outside, having an adventure and living in the moment but in a very tame way where my Ti still needs to have control.

I have met 2 esfps and they are amazing with their Se. They honestly attract life and adventure at this pointand I kinda want that for me as well. Never met other estps irl but i do think our Se doesn't come off as strong or as natural as it comes to esfps. So my question is, 

-do you guys feel you lead life naturally with Se?

• what activities give you fulfilment?
• can you develop se? Have you?
• how do you normally start your day

As ESTPs we can smile alot while talking to someone. But when we're on important shit to do mode with 100% focus eyes.

We can come across as ESTJs or ENTJs some times.

Would you guys agree?

Okay so i’m an INFJ or maybe an INFP and am having a hard time connecting with my partner. At first I thought he was an ENTP and have been trying to communicate with in considering that just to find out today that he was basically mistyped.

Is there anything I can do?

I feel as if with this new information that other things that I felt were off in our relationship are really loud to me now. I’m unsure of what to do

Following up on my previous post about character chats - just launched a new MBTI personality database that lets you filter and chat with notable figures. If you tried the original character chats, this is different - focused on real personalities rather than fictional ones. Unlike PDB, you can actually interact with the personalities through chat. Check it out and let me know your thoughts. It's available at stablecharacter dot com slash personality-database

To preface this, initially when I did the 16 personalities test, I was INTP, and I read the description at the time and thought that matched me decently well. Yesterday, I was talking with a friend, and I realized I was ESTP, not INTP part of the reason test might be wrong is that it tests for letters and not dominant functions. Part of the reason I realized I’m probably not INTP is that I’m pretty observant (AKA Se), and I can simulate things pretty well (Feel like I can imagine anything like a whole block in grid like squares with no color). Also, I’m just not lazy like INTP. My number one thing is to act upon things. Part of the reason I thought I matched INTP initially is I love thinking both in my free time (I write like average of 30min - hour long notes about philosophical things I’ve learned about the world or just what I did everyday in a journal). But I now hypothesize I finally unlocked this function (Ti?) because it only developed recently in college never earlier. Also, I don’t understand emotions although my extreme growth and truth seeking mentality has helped me work on this. I guess in summary, this all led me to believe I was misdiagnosed from INTP to ESTP, and now I want to learn about what y’all view as the strengths and weaknesses of ESTP or maybe I’m wrong and I’m still an INTP?

Thanks

My friend had something “really bad” she needed to tell me and she couldn’t tell me over the phone but in person. I got anxious over her coming over to talk so I did everything in my power to make sure we met at a shopping centre.

I am trying to figure out why I did this and I think it’s because it gave me a sense of control and comfort since a public space feels less personal and intense, so it may have been easier for me to be there for her without feeling overwhelmed or trapped in an emotional situation.

Meeting in a neutral setting also created a bit of distance, which helped me process the conversation without feeling like I was taking on all of her emotions at once.

So fellow ESTPS, is this a common thing?

It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that I instinctively avoid situations where I feel I’ll be emotionally cornered. By meeting in a public place, I could maintain some distance from the emotional intensity, which made it easier for me to show up and “support” her without feeling overwhelmed.

I also get somewhat ‘annoyed’ I guess you could say at overly emotional people because I don’t understand why they can’t manage their emotions more effectively

Disclaimer: I know this varies from person to person, but I’m just curious and just wanted to see if most estps tend to operate this way and how they typically handle it.

My boyfriend of 3+ years is an ESTP and I could use some help adjusting. He’s not big on talking about how he experiences or feels things, only really opening up when he’s had a few drinks, and he gets annoyed when I go into my whole analyzing shtick and try to explain why certain things happen. He just wants to be here and now. Literally. He honestly expresses love through actions, and I love that for him. But as his opposite in so many ways, I find it really hard to grasp him sometimes.

We love each other a lot and I want to support him in the ways he needs, even if he struggles to verbalize them. Before we met, I was kind of a hermit, but he’s really pulled me out into the world. I jog regularly now because of him, and we go on way too many spontaneous trips,but honestly, it’s sweet, and I love how he’s helped me break out of my shell and pursue the things I want. Now, I want to do the same for him.

Do any other ESTPs relate to this? Any tips on how I can better understand and support

When I hear this, it's like I heard nothing, or like the score of a football game a few months ago between teams I don't care about at all.

What do other ESTPs do with this?

If I have something like that to say, I'll say "I felt betrayed", or "I felt like you left me twisting in the wind." That would mean something to me.

I would write a long blurb about this - but to keep it short and simple - I’m in hell.

I’m wondering how I can work better with an ESTP, essentially. I think since she and I are so extremely different, it creates more problems than it solves. What’s the best way to communicate? How can I ‘prove’ myself? What do you look for in an employee?

Hello amazing ESTPs I hope you are well. I’m deeply curious about how other people’s minds work. How they react and respond to different things what could lure them in so if someone were to trap you what bait do you know you would very much fall for without a second thought?

Hello everyone, i'm an estp but i recently started to be nervous or anxious when i have to speak or even read something to a big or small group of people. The weird thing is that it only happens when i have to take a prepared speech or talk about something serious (if it's a joke or something impulsive i feel totally confident). When it happens even if my mind knows what to do my heart beats fast and i struggle to speak, but when i'm a few seconds into the thing, i gradually return calm and flawlessly continue the speech, but it's very unconfourtable at the start. I don't understand it because it's something i've never had in my life, i was previously one of the more confident in the groups. Maybe i started to toxically think too much about the feeling of getting everyone attention. I need some advices because i'm usually in a lot of situations in which i need to public speak and i want my old self back.

I faced some issues at work and I realised I am simply not able to feel sad dispite there being a good reason for me to be... There have been a lot of such cases at home and work but I feel like they stress me out more than they ever make me sad.

I think many would be sad or down after these instances but for me it is just stress and I can get over it.

Disadvantage: I don't address problems so that it doesn't bother me again.

Partly I was thinking this might be depression but not sure... Most of the time I only feel neutral emotion.

GO!

like topics that you could read, watch videos, listen to podcasts on for hours and hours on end.

for me it’d probably be crime, I don’t know the mystery revolving around it keeps me really hooked.

She replied "Most estp's I have met claimed that"

You can answer this in detail or on a scale of 1 to 10 or both. You may also answer this question in general and ignore the situations altogether.

1. You are casually going by and a person bumped into you. They didn't say sorry and just moved on.
2. Out of the blue, an acquaintance shouts at you. You didn't do anything. Later on, they come to you and say sorry. They don't seem genuine.
3. Same as above but this time they do seem genuine.
4. You have a really, really close friend; like 'someone who understands you' kind of friend. You find out (from a genuine source, i.e. what you heard is 100% accurate) that they were actually manipulative. They lied to you. When you confronted them about it, they ignored you.
5. Same as above but here they seemed shocked that you know about it. After a while they come to you and say sorry. They apologized multiple times and said that they didn't mean to manipulate you and that they'll not do this again.

I asked this on the ENFP sub and I'm curious about what you guys think.. Also, I wonder if it has any correlation with MBTI, so I'm planning to ask this on the other MBTI subreddits.

1. Very adventurous. Grew up in a boring, uneventful village, and was always hoping for some adventure- an excuse to leave home and embark on some quest or journey.
2. Has anger issues. "Sees red" very easily. Gets upset when insulted or when things don't go their way. Very stubborn and never admits they're wrong. Lashes out, yells, curses, and breaks things when angry.
3. Hedonistic, lazy, and undisciplined. Can only work hard when there is motivation. Sucks with delayed gratification. Barely thinks about the distant future, only focuses on the present and near-future.
4. Likes conflict. Doesn't shy away from confrontation, and finds it thrilling. Witty, unafraid to verbally hurt people's feelings during confrontation. Naturally adept fighter that enjoys combat.
5. Adaptable and cunning, always looking for ways to tactically outsmart adversaries. Never has an elaborate plan or strategy, only an outline of what to do. Tends to miss some important details and factors when trying to plan or strategize.
6. Is aware of their own emotions and preferences. Value-based subconscious judgements. Typically sees emotions as weak. Values logic and efficacy.
7. Annoyed by semantics or overly comprehensive logic. Sees logic as a tool, not a way of living.
8. Can sometimes be paranoid of people, imagining far-fetched scenarios where even their best friend betrays them, and accounts for these potential scenarios in their decision making.

Finding myself bored Monday - Thursday nights. I feel like I do have a decent amount of hobbies, work out in the morning, but man, I’m finding myself so bored these days after work.

What do you all do during the week nights post work?

Yes, very specific question😭, idk if you know how to answer this but I wanna understand

I noticed the more I'm aging, the more I like to be in my home and play videogames. Still love to stretch and excersie (That's kinda part of myself), and still enjoy outdoor activities, but I think I prefer to stay home more often since I'm an adult.

Idk why but i have only ever met ESTP men and i want to know whether ESTP is just more common for men or if i just need to talk to more people😭 (I just searched it up on google but it’s 60% men and 39.6 for women😔)