Since forever I could not talk to grown women. I could talk to my peers of any gender, my mother and my sister, and grown men. And for some reason, really masculine seeming women. As a young boy I was often encouraged to speak, sometimes punished for not talking, everyone in my community tried hard to get me to talk. They tried a lot.

Tried positive encouragement. Tried talking to me why I won't talk to them. Tried leaving me alone in the store. Tried tricking me into getting my voice "heard" by others.

EVERYTHING backfired and I would just close in under their expectations or a sense that something is wrong with me. There was also a degree of stubbornness and rebellion mixed in it. As if all the expectation made it just that much difficult to even want to try.

How I felt around women and why women: For some reason I felt more shame and introversion around grown women than around other people, and I never got to open up to them until the "recovery". I felt shame, shyness, a feeling of alienation. A feeling of expectation from me to open up. Many women would try to "talk to the cute kid" or something. You know pinch my cheeks and stuff. It often felt intrusive. But how I initially closed up comes later.

I felt no need or desire to talk to anyone. I wasn't "trapped" in my solitude. I was safe and happy in it. Even to this day, I never feel lonely. This should be a hint: if there is no personal desire to change, it's very difficult to make any progress and any outside influence feels like a threat to that safety.

I got into primary school, and there was great effort to get me talking. I was going to the school psyhologist. There was no progress. She was also a lady and that didn't help.

It was problematic, I would only write to my teachers on a notebook who were all female. I felt cursed like everything is set up against me. Every grocery store worker, every teacher, everything functional around was women and I felt incompetent to participate in society.

Quickly bullying began from other kids and I felt like an outcast. Many thought I was just trying to get away from oral exams. Many teachers were annoyed by me, many teachers made me their favorite. Some tried to get me to the special kids school. That would've obviously ruined my life and the IQ test of 127 proved them otherwise.

But everything kept putting pressure on me. All the attention, all the expectation.

At 9 I went to a psychiatrist and they were considering medication. Eventually my mother had a quarrel with my psychiatrist and she stopped taking me to therapy. I never took medication and I'm glad I haven't.

I'm not sure when I was diagnosed, at 6 in the school or at 9 at the psychiatrist. I can't remember. But the diagnosis was selective mutism. Everyone suspected that a woman might've hurt me when I was young, but that never happened. It was just the sheer situation of opening up to everyone else but women.

Until 15, nothing changed, except that I noticed that I could open up to a few women (parents of peers) that appeared masculine. What I perceived masculine was more rugged, more direct, less talking, not too decorated, there was no fluff in how they behaved, as if they were too busy for it. Kind of how you would expect men to appear. It was as if with this "vibe" around them I would not feel this sort of… In front of them I could sometimes ask a basic question.

Try not to get offended by these descriptions of what I felt was masculine vs feminine, I'm just telling you my experience.

Then people started talking how I actually "could" talk to women, and how I was actually lying to get away from oral exams. And that again made me feel like crap.

I also always had a "protector" around me. Someone who would be my "translator". Someone whom I would look at with puppy eyes and make them talk on my behalf. My biggest protector was my big sister. And at 14 she went for college and I was alone. I started walking around alone, going places alone, still silent around adult women, but felt a sense of a "personal journey". What I chose to do was on me, I felt like I owned myself more and more.

Fast forward to 15. This is going to be riddiculous… And it is but… I was really damn hungry. Like hungry as hell. I had some money, I didn't have any pen and paper, and I felt really good emotionally. And I went to a bakery and asked for a product and bought it. I just… did it. I attribute it to a lot of solitude, teen hormones, the loss of a protector figure, a good day, and a good deal of hunger. :) This heureka moment immediately made me feel like I was "cured" everywhere… And I actually was.

But not at school. Precisely because of the history and the weight of the expectation upon me. I would stay silent in the school until I finished high school. Barely cause I was a lowsy student in my last years. But I did manage to become a metalhead and scream at concerts in front of everyone no matter their age or gender. :)

No psychologist or shrink helped, no outside encouragement or strategies, for 12 years. And all it took was the removal of the "protector", more solitude, more independence, a good day and a great deal of necessity.

What actually happened to me:

When I was 3 my father went for therapy at a facility for months. After that came divorce. My mother never told me what truly happened and I believed my father had abandoned me. That week I went silent and wouldn't talk for months, hoping and staying awake every night that he would come back. Eventually I started talking to my sister and my mother and adult men. And the rest is described above.

She told me this in an fight we had when I was 18, as a comeback to something I said. So all that time it was trauma based and my mother never told me the truth and taught me to hate my father instead. How wonderful. No wonder my psychiatrist had a quarrel with her. Anyhow.

My conclusions about the disorder, assuming a parent reads this:

It is exactly what it says, disorder mixed with anxiety. But it is in no way a real tangible mysterious "thing" of sorts. Disorder means something that should not be, and anxiety is a state of unease and causing mutism aka not speaking. But is nothing more than its plain meaning, except it lasting for way too long.

Just because something has a diagnosis and we can categorise it based on its elements it does not make it a real, tangible set in stone, definite condition, that a specialist or an expert must untagle for you. It is a real life problem for us people that we need to solve, with some involvement of experts and community around us.

Meaning if your child has it, there is nothing "wrong" with the child. The child is basically… "stuck in a situation" for way too long. It's like a really bad habit, mixed in with combinations influences that form and maintain it, turning itself into a "condition". And it is really delicate.

This is not in effort to claim "denialism". More like "if we turn this into a magical condition we need someone to explain to us, we make ourselves believe it is too complex for ourselves and the child to solve".

My non-expert opinions and advices (I'm not a doctor, and all that bla bla stuff… but I truly believe it):

• The child should not believe something is wrong with them.
• The child should not believe they should change or try to change because it is a good thing or something. The desire has to be their own.
• The child's belief that they cannot talk is a huge one. Since we believe that we can't we don't. We just stop. But you can't punch this out with encouragement. Encouragement in itself is the assumption of something not being possible at the moment.
• To communicate and want to communicate is natural. We must get to the bottom of what is stopping that and allow the expression to come out naturally.
• We must encourage the child to grow their own sense of self, their own interests, their own expression. Their own sense of "journey". They will naturally find themselves in a position that they want to talk, but the desire, emotional state, need, and circumstances must overpower their fears. Everything else is counterproductive.
• We should not nurture the role of the "protector" around them. This is debilitating and robs them of their sense of self and their courage.
• I don't know what your personal stance is on medication, but I don't think drugging your child at a young age will help. While there could be neurological condition influencing this "disorder", I would not even put this as a last resort measure.
• I think that improving the life of the child and ensuring the positive conditions are there to get them do anything on their own, and including talking just being one element of that story, is the solution. The child should have a good life, toxic people around them should be removed, the child should have a life rich in activities they want to pursue, education ensured, the child should be materially well off and not less than from other kids in any way. I think that if a lot of the bad stuff in my life was not present, I would've talked way earlier.
• If the child is in a chaotic family environment, in poverty, bullied by everyone, all of those things must be resolved or made a non-problem until the child can start to speak. Everything else is just applying force and building the walls even higher while not addressing the real problem: the child doesn't have confidence, courage, reputation, self governance etc. to open themselves to the people around them
• To therapists: When you have a child with selective mutism, you are dealing with something extremely delicate. Less is always more. parent-mediated therapy could help?
• If there is progress with the child, do not celebrate it or notice it. Just let it go. Acknowledging it can just put pressure on the child and remind them that they "cannot" do it and you're "trying to get them to talk".

So my son is verbal with me and only whispers. When around others he’s silent. He still gets anxious at home to sometimes. Is there anything I can do to help him feel less anxious? Also some people make really mean remarks and it really enrages me. He can understand what they’re saying about him and it definitely doesn’t help his confidence or anxiety. I don’t 100% know how to help him I know what doctors say but was hoping for advice from other mothers and people who struggle with it daily. I know the majority of you guys on here struggle from it though so what do you wish your parents understood and how could they better help you?

Do any of you have certain situations where you can talk some but only if someone else has started talking to you first?

Like when I would walk into work, it's not that I don't want to say good morning to my coworkers but I can't until they say it first. Kinda like needing someone to break the silence first

Just something I realized I bit ago when I was at work one day and curious if anyone else has times like this

(Sorry if this is the wrong flair)

First, to clarify, I know there’s a lot more to sm than social anxiety. I just mean that my mute periods don’t seem to correlate with stressful social situations, though they can correlate with stress. Basically, I sometimes just lose the ability to speak. I can think, write, and gesture, but I just can’t make audible sounds or words. I sometimes slip into this when stressed, but I also do it alone, randomly in class, or with my partner. It lasts anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours. Nothing seems to help except time. I have generalized anxiety but I don’t have social anxiety and I can navigate stressful social situations without going mute. I do have autism so maybe that’s related? I’ve also experienced sexual and violent trauma so it might be from that. Does anyone get this without social anxiety too?

I was diagnosed while getting my adhd diagnosis, because I have problems speaking in patient- doctor situations, wich unfortunately includes therapists. I’m currently in therapy, and I’m not mute all the time, but when I have a bad day or it gets emotional or personal, I shut down. One thing that helps is going for a walk while talking, or facing in the same direction while sitting in the room, but other than that, nothing. I feel so bad when that happens and I can’t even tell her that I’m trying my best, wich makes it worse. I feel so stuck because I want to say things so badly but I can’t and it creates so much pressure that I sometimes think at some point my body can’t take the stress anymore.

Has anyone any tips that could make it easier for me? I tried writing things down but that doesn’t help me. How did your therapists/psychiatrists help you?

I’m thankful for every answer, it feels really nice to not be alone with that issue.

this is my very first post to this subreddit. i have a new boyfriend and he does most of the talking for me and does not mind my sm- i have said ‘hi’ to him before but that is it. he says he would like to hear my voice again but it is so difficult. he is patient and is willing to wait but i would like to see if anyone knows a way to get comfortable faster or something? has anyone dealt with this with a partner? any advice you might have for me?

To those of you who are struggling to find your voice, from those of us who are here to learn for our loved ones, ALL of the love! Thank you for your courage, and if you need a reassuring mom hug, this one's for you! Thank you for everything you have shared! It has helped me be a better parent. You all have a very special place in my heart, and If you need anyone to go on a verbal lashing spree on your behalf hit me up! (I mean, I probably won't actually verbally abuse anyone, but I would really WANT to😉)

Basically title.

I [F21] struggle with social anxiety which makes it near impossible to speak. The more anxious I get the more difficult. It feels physically difficult until I just can’t.

I went to a high school with staff trained in helping “special needs” kids, so it wasn’t too big of an issue. It was one on one and the patient teachers helped make it a little easier.

I want to attend college. I’ve tried multiple times in the past, but ended up dropping classes because of the anxiety. Participation would be a good chunk of the grade and since I couldn’t speak I’d get bad grades, so I would drop them the second teachers tried pressuring me into speaking.

Is it possible? Are there any accommodations for this issue? What would college life be like?

I don’t have anyone that can speak for me, but if the counselor is one on one I think I’ll be able to speak with them.

Thanks in advance.

Does anyone have any advice on how/where to format on a resume/cover letter that you are mute? And how are you able to communicate effectively within interviews? :) i'm a little worried if I can't get a job, I'm applying to work with my mom which might be a plus if she can inform them about it, i'm very socially awkward and only know small bits of ASL, applying to work on a cleaning job where I likely wouldn't have to talk, still, I am not sure if this would be any issue with employers, or how to tell them about it.

What helped you to overcome your selective mutism? Were there specific things other people could do to help you? I want to be able to help a (2nd grade) student who experiences selective mutism and need specific strategies to be there for them.

Hi, I am new to reddit and figured I give it a try. I am so happy to know that I am not alone in my experience. I know selective mutism can be overwhelming and hard to deal with and I that's why I think you guys are well deserving of some positivity. Often we get caught up with the negatives of SM but I believe we are all worthy of appreciation.

I have had a lot of trouble in school with creating positive relationships with teachers, but I'd like to share a positive interaction with a teacher. Once an obnoxious classmate had made a comment about how quiet I was, something along the lines of "Why should she be praised for being quiet, she never talks". The teacher basically shut him up and started talking to me about a personal story with her dad. She told me that quiet people are some of the smartest people, and that they are very kind. She explained to me that her dad had probably only spoken one sentence to her in her entire life and it was very impactful to her. She told me that her dad was very intelligent and was a great father who taught her many things in life despite this.

It really means a lot to me when people don't just judge me on surface level things and open their mind to the possible person I could be. I have seen it in myself that I am a great thinker and I am more open minded to different people around me. I worry a lot about how I am being perceived, I tend to assume that people around me see me negatively. A lot of this is totally unreasonable, it's just my anxiety speaking. That being said, being seen and validated makes me understand that there are people that see deeper than that and people who understand the positives of SM.

Side note, I think her dad was a genius because how did he give her so much wisdom with just one sentence. Maybe it was a long run on sentence, but still impressive regardless. What could he have said?

I don't know if I have Selective Mutism or not, but whenever I get sad, angry, or anxious I can't speak. Whenever I get scolded, I want to speak and I have words to say, but I can't get them out. Does this count as Selective Mutism or is it something different?

So I've been diagnosed with ptsd, anxiety, and sm from traumatic events (as well as other things I don't want to mention here). While I was usually shy and quiet when I was much younger, I was still able to speak in social situations though I was never the best at it. It was only around the time I started experiencing symptoms of ptsd that I stopped being able to talk socially. Once I started therapy I was diagnosed with the things I said above. I think it's not common to show up when it did for me (I don't want to be specific but in my teens and I'm still in my teens right now too) and for it to be from trauma. Has anyone else gone through something similar? I'm currently working on it in therapy and I'm not medicated for anything right now.

Long time lurker here, but in my time in this subreddit it’s just mostly people with SM who cannot talk in school and other public spaces, but can talk to their parents. However I am “kinda” the opposite.

It started when I was about 5, at first I wouldn’t talk to my dad who I saw every weekend at that time but I would whisper to my brother and sister, but overtime it turned into where I couldn’t talk to anyone at all. It’s been like this for 11 years now and I still can’t talk to my dad or siblings or anyone, however for some reason I have no problem with talking at school, almost none at all (aside from the fact that I have bad social skills and can’t walk up to anyone and start the conversation, which makes it hard for me to get into a relationship). But outside of school, I literally mentally cannot talk to anyone either in public or at home.

I haven’t been officially diagnosed with SM, but I’m 90% sure I have so, I want to get diagnosed, but anyone else like this?

Edit- Please excuse my typo in the title it’s supposed to say “do i” 😭

So I (17 F) tend to struggle with a lot of anxiety. I’ve been looking into topics like autism and selective mutism for a while and i can’t tell if I’m jumping the gun trying to diagnose myself. My parents are both very against things like therapy, so ive never been able to talk with a therapist or counselor.

I don’t remember if I’ve struggled this way as a young child, but i know that for the last 8 years or so, I’ve struggled with social anxiety and depression. My social anxiety has been much better the last year and a half when i started working (i work as a cashier for a grocery store) and i almost never have problems with socializing there.

I should also mention the fact that I’ve been homeschooled my whole life. My social circle has been from my church and now, my job. I struggle socially at church and at home as well, but my job is like my safe place, and i experience shut downs far less often there.

The reason i think i have selective mutism is because when something happens that makes me feel anxious, i suddenly feel like im being choked. Like i could speak, and i have all the words, but i cant get them out of my mouth. Speaking feels wrong and i feel incapable of communicating. My boyfriend (17M) has been extremely patient with me. He supported me in buying noise canceling earbuds so that i don’t have to worry about having to talk or listen. I tend to get overwhelmed with all the noise around me.

My earbuds and my “safe space” has been a game changer for me. When something upsets me and i shut down, i immediately have a space to be loved in quiet and i don’t have to speak.

When im alone or with someone other than my boyfriend i tend to choke out small responses enough to make them not worry, or I’ll get angry and yell and lose control.

I can’t tell if this is anxiety or selective mutism or even something else entirely. Does anyone relate or have any advice?

I have SM into adulthood but got a lot better.

Still, it’s hard for me to pass as normal socially except in brief interactions where I can basically follow a social script.

I’m really slow to think of what to say (unsurprising I guess, considering I used to say nothing ever; my brain isn’t used to coming up with anything), plus have fewer life experiences to draw from to talk about. So I often go silent and just sit there.

I’m very awkward at pleasantries and knowing whether people I see regularly want to do the “hi” “hi” “how are you?” “good, how are you?” dance or just not be bothered.

Or bad at transitioning that into actual conversation and small talk, like being more honest “oh, I’m fine, it’s been a long day because X” and volunteering information (which again is unsurprising because of SM history I think).

Idk, I’m just wondering if it’s a chicken or egg situation (which came first?). Socialization is a puzzle I am far from having solved. And I definitely have sensory sensitivities that contributed to selective mutism. My brain seems to get overloaded and move really slowly in social situations or under bright lights, around crowds. But that can be anxiety too?

I guess these disorders are kind of constructs based on clusters of symptoms we commonly see together in people. But everyone has unique presentations. I just don’t know what I need right now, like for treatment, to understand myself and get better, and maybe differentiating could help?

I had selective mutism from ages 7-18, now I’m 21 and can talk, but only do it when necessary. I’d say I’m technically cured, and now I’m just very shy. But my voice is very weird now, like a little high pitched, with a weird accent, and a bit mumbled.

Today was the first time I raised my hand in a class in my life, but everyone looked at me while I answered, even turning 360 degrees. I also answered it wrong, but a lot of people in the class did that day so it shouldn’t have been a big deal. And the girl in front of me kept turning back too. I didn’t think I sounded that weird, but people seemed so weirded out. It makes me really anxious and makes me want to talk even less.

Maybe my voice is worst than I thought? I also feel bad for the girl who always sits next to me, I’m not sure if I embarrassed her with everyone looking at me. She didn’t react in any way when I talked though, I’ve talked to her before.

Now I just can’t stop thinking about it and feel depressed and like a failure. I wish I at least got the answer right (well I just didn’t answer the second part of the question). The teacher was asking for new people to participate over and over the class, and no one was really doing it so I just wanted to help. At least the teacher didn’t act like my voice was weird I guess.

Edit: Thank you so much for the lovely and supportive comments! I definitely feel a lot better now and realize it isn’t a very big deal 😊 And I hope anyone who goes through the same knows it’ll be fine too! I doubt anyone will be thinking about a quick answer, presentation, etc. no matter how you sound

i think ive discovered something new regarding our condition...

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i would say i do have selective mutism... but i also think i have autism.. and i think its morphed into some kind of combination beast that i cant fight alone.. i call it; Mautism

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when i feel brave i will venture into the depths of my own mind, armed only with a sword (positive thinking) and shield (self affirmations) and try to slay this beast but i never emerge victorious

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has anyone else had this kind of experience? the best way i could describe it is like a comatose-like trance i go into every now and then and i imagine myself hunting a huge dragon-like beast thats wayy bigger than i am

​

serious replies only please

I don't know how to deal with this anymore. Instead of getting better it gets worse and i think that i should fix this, but i don't know how.

The issue that i got is that i have difficulties with social interaction and speaking.

I think i got this since i was very young, because i still have problems with saying hello, goodmorning, sorry and thank you. I've never said goodmorning to someone in my whole life what i do remember is that i always got a little trouble because i never said it to the teachers, but i have no idea what the cause of this is and i still am not able to talk properly with a few family members of mine.

When i speak i need to think long of what to say. I think it's because i have hard time speaking towards people. I also think it seems to be a little annoying to people that i am like this. Because when someone speaks to me i never seem to process things too of what the said so they need to repeat it.

Sometimes i get into that freeze mood then I'm unable to talk and sometimes it feels like i want to talk, but something won't let me talk, cause of that i force myself a lot to talk it can take up to minutes before i actually am able to speak.

When I'm working in groups then i never know when to speak. I can't even talk to my dog on the streets I also can't call on the streets too. Sometimes i feel uncomfortable walking around at certain places therefore i always wear my headphones.

I even lost my part time job cause of it. I thought i could force myself so hard that it wouldn't be noticeable, but it didn't work out. Now I'm thinking how will i do in the future, this is affecting my daily life, so i really need to do something about this.

Right now i feel like I've almost completely shut down, but i know if i continue like this, i would only end up exhausted from how much I'm forcing myself.

Hi! I’m going to be volunteering to support a teen girl with selective mutism and ASD. I want to know if there’s anything I shouldn’t say or do and how I can best support her, specifically in terms of selective mutism for this sub. I’ve posted this on other subs as I want to get as much personal perspective as possible. Any general advice?

Thanks :)

sorry if this is confusing ,Im not on reddit that often and don’t know much of how it works. i’ll start by saying I have been diagnosed with selective mutism and can only speak to my parents atm and being around people makes me extremely anxious. And yesterday I was at the bookstore and as i was looking at the books, this boy starts standing very close to me so I naturally got uncomfortable and would distance myself from him? But he kept doing it and also making eye contact with me on multiple occasions, and whispering to his friend next to him. I just assumed he was making fun of me and tried not to think much of it and left the store, I ended up going into another store nearby the bookstore, and he shows up in the store as well, i assumed this was just a coincidence but he stops me as Im walking out of the store and starts asking for my phone number.. I panicked and just ignored him and walked away quickly. I can’t help but feel extremely guilty about ignoring him, he obviously doesn’t know i struggle with selective mutism so Im worried I hurt his feelings or that he would take it as me being rude/cold. I didn’t want to come off that way, I just got anxious. Idk I might just be way overthinking this whole thing

Hi y’all. I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD by 2 separate psychiatrists due to medical trauma and repeated hospitalizations I endured between the ages 7-12. I also consistently have anxiety attacks, and am now at a point in my life where everyday I think I’m going to die, or any slight discomfort I feel is indicative of a health emergency and I’ll be sent to the hospital again. That’s just some background, but within the past few years (about 3-4 to be exact) I started struggling with weird speech patterns. I’ll be talking and all of a sudden my brain shuts off and it’s like I can hear my inner voice tell me to stop talking, like it’s not safe or I’ll usually feel worse, so often I try to shut off, but am unsuccessful because I’m in the midst of talking when it happens so I force myself to continue and just stare blankly into space while stuttering. It’s so out of character for me, and it’s frightening because I’ve always been so confident in my ability to articulate my thoughts and feelings, but when this happens, I just lose all motivation and ability to really communicate. Is this selective mutism? It’s not like what I’ve read and idk if maybe I’m being dramatic. Either way, I plan to get help because this is really bugging me, but I wanna be sure for my own sake.

She keeps telling me "you have to start talking to people" as if I could do it on command, she's like "You're almost 18, start acting like an adult!" She also is referring to my adhd whenever she says that, it is very obvious. She thinks that it can just go away on its own. "Maybe this summer when you move in with your sister you could find a job at a Cafe, all you have to do is just clean yourself up and stop being so forgetful and talk to people." I have horrible depression and other mental health issues but she doesn't seem to get that, and also I don't want to work as a waitress because even if i didn't have SM, it is just not my vibe. She's telling me to start learning how to talk to people, yet every time I try and say something that is about me, about something that I like, want or literally just saying my opinion about something, she immediately gets all shocked as if just because I am quiet, that instantly means I have nothing going on inside my head. How can I be my own person, how can I try and practice talking, if she won't support me!?

Also when my mom tells me I can't wear that outfit in public (it was literally just sweatpants) and I say "believe me, people don't really care what other people wear, it is not that deep." And she says "well I care" okay first of all, that seems like a you problem, and second of all, I have horrible social anxiety and am very self conscious and insecure about myself, shouldn't you be ENCOURAGING me to not care what other people think of me!? You're a parent and you also happen to be a teacher, so where are the parent teaching moments and advice at??!!

Istg having an emotionally unavailable parent who wants to force you to be something you aren't, is so exhausting

And also whenever I'm at a clothing store with her, she gets mad at me when I say no to a clothing item she picked out for me, like ma'am, I am my own person with my own likes and dislikes and that shirt looks like a freaking dishrag sorry not sorry..

I cannot wait until my sister gets back from her work trip in May, because then she is getting her first apartment in the big city and I can finally get away from all the negative and toxic energy that is my mom and her awful boyfriend

When I try to research SM and PTSD I only find stuff about the idea of SM being caused by a traumatic event, which I’m not saying isn’t a thing for some, it just isn’t my son’s experience. He has always had SM. However, recently he has been diagnosed with PTSD and both he and I are having a difficult time pinpointing a specific traumatic event to cause that. I’m wondering if there are people who experience PTSD because of their anxiety and SM. Could prolonged and severe anxiety and SM be the traumatic event causing the PTSD? I know none of us can diagnose but I’m just looking for shared thoughts/experiences. Thanks for helping us think this through!

The whole story would take way too long to write, but I've never been able to be assertive for my needs. I either come off as weak and passive or aggressive; it seems like there isn't an in-between and I always end up doing it passively. I feel like I'm taken advantage of for what I can't say, and it hurts me so freaking much.

At 30 years old, it feels like my life is in shambles because of how mutism alone has affected it. I don't think there's any sort of vocational rehab that can fix my case...

But I'm not alone, because you guys are here too.

Hey, so Im unsure about how it feels like.

For example, when I talk with a person and I get nervous, I stop talking, but its because I know that I wont be able to string a proper sentence together. I can start with a word, but usually I dont get further than that, since starting to talk makes my breathing become uneven. Mentally though, I dont struggle at all. I probably could say everything I want to say in writing.

Personally, I dont think that counts as selective mutism, but rather its hyperventilation or something of the like.

Im curious about what yall think about it.

Thanks in advance!

Did it help at all?