if it's late at night? I'd appreciate your answer.

you don't need to read the rest but here's my context:

we had our second date last night and he didn't text me at all. i left him around 11.30 pm and he knows it takes me an hour to go back home (it was my decision to go to that area we met up, fine by me) so it was past midnight when i got home. and he didn't text at night at all. we had made plans for our next date though which will be on weekend.

our first date was the same time too, but i had texted him a thank you after we separated, and he did the same, asking if i got home safely..

Hello men out there.
This is a bit of sensitive subject for m so please be slightly nice. 33F single.
I have recently been going under th process of freezing my eggs for future use. I had always wanted kids. But unfortunately the relationship part never happened and I was unwilling to do it on my own.

As per my recent health testing my AMH is devastatingly low ( my egg reserve is basically nothing). This means that even if I were to freeze my eggs the chances are not very great. This was elevating news for me. Devastating.
but now there is another conundrum. If I had a long term partner this would’ve been able to be a bridge we could’ve crossed together. Because hopefully hypothetical man would’ve enjoyed me for me.

But now I don’t know what to do. i have been on dates where men want a family, and as much as I want that too I now no longer can give it to them.

I have the fear that men will dismiss me early, and not get a chance to know me, for something that is not my fault, which also would make me feel like my only redeeming quality is my ability to be an incubator.
How do you describe the need to want kids, but the pathway would be difficult, or even improbable.
I have considered single dads, those who don’t want any more kids, however the ones I have dated have left me feeling like the last priority on their list (Understandable but still heartbreaking in itself).

There seems to be very rare men who are like ‘ if it happens fine, if it doesn’t happen also fine’.
I feel the need to disclose this fertility issue early, as it is such a dealbreaker, however I’m just stuck being dismissed.

I’m self sufficient, I have a good job/career, no mortage in my PPOR and an IP. I’ve travelled the world and I’m independant. So I’m not looking for anything ‘provider‘ wise.

I guess I’m asking, at what point would I give up this kind of information to men. First date seems like trauma dumping, but also I don’t want to lead people on if future lifetyles don’t match either.

Any Advice?

I (28F) recently hooked up with a guy (34M) who I had great chemistry with. We both agreed to keep things casual (which is my preference), and before we hooked up, we texted a lot over a few days—it was really fun, flirty, and he initiated every conversation. After we hooked up, we agreed that we wanted to keep seeing each other and that we’d get together again soon.

However, since then, his texting pattern has been odd. He went from being super responsive to taking hours or even a day to reply, even though the vibe still seems positive and he seems very interested when he does respond. I double texted once and he responded instantaneously saying he’d been thinking of me, then didn’t respond when I texted back. I’m not looking for anything serious, so I’m confused about why he’d suddenly pull back on communication. I want to keep this casual but fun, and I’m wondering if there’s a reason guys sometimes act like this.

Any thoughts on why he might be doing this? I’m dealing with some other stressors in my personal life so using this situation as a lightning rod for all emotions lol. Thanks!

Edit: I have been texting trying to make plans to see each other again.

This question doesn't matter much but i randomly thought it and had to say something

I work with a guy who "takes" prunes and either almonds or walnuts every day, not because he likes them but for their health benefits.

Seems like a good habit.

Just considering some options based on my growing skill sets and wondering if people regret trying it themselves or found success in staying the course of a decently paid, and decently earning position instead.

My semi-long distance BF of 3 years told me he’s just not feeling at all sexual lately. He has assured me he finds me attractive, there is no one else and he doesn’t want to break up. He’s also assured me that this is a temporary situation and we will be physically intimate again.

He’s been depressed and he’s feeling upset and overwhelmed by everything going on in the world right now. He’s had to stop watching the news and asks that I not share any news with him. I live 2.5 - 3 hours drive from him and I don’t see him every weekend but at minimum every other weekend.

He makes decent money and pays for things I don’t ask for to make things nice for me. He pays for a gardener, a maid and the veterinarian that my cat sees. I have never asked for this. He just wants to do these things and I thank him for everything he does to help me. He often brings lots of groceries and fun or yummy treats for my cat, who he loves.

He is quite smart, very quirky and endlessly funny. But he feels things deeply. I do know that he has spent time in a psychiatric facility (a few months) when things got to be too much and he became catatonic. I don’t think he’s headed there again, but I have never been with someone who voluntarily wanted to stop having sex. He does say that it’s temporary and he’ll be back to wanting to have sex again at some point.

IMPORTANT TO KNOW: We are both in our early 50s. He has never shown any signs of erectile dysfunction. I’m very into my own hygiene and before he comes I take a bath, make sure that everything is clean and neat, and I never smell badly around him. I am neither overweight nor unattractive.

Like fuck man.. I been out the gym for 7 months due to injuries and I'm just NOW starting to feel 100%.

Is anyone else noticing it's taking a lot longer to bounce back?

Hello mates, I (35F) am trying to help this (30M) out. How can I help him from a guys perspective. Currently, he’s depressed. Doesn’t want to talk and keeps convo extremely short, and indulges more and more in alcohol. I told him that if he needs someone to talk to, cry, or any help or support that I’m there for him. I just don’t know what else to do.

TIA

Not necessarily someone you're dating, just a sincere thank you for something that you really appreciated. Do you find it difficult to thank someone?

Hey guys, so wife is gonna stop breastfeeding our child soon and I'm nervous she is going to shrivel up. Did they remain the same size for you guys?

.

Some context:

I usually only get along with women who are free spirited and who respect my freedom. The type of women who don’t become dependent on men or feel entitled to anything from men. I have no interest in marriage or having kids.

However my current girlfriend (of 3 months) is becoming more controlling and clingy. She has hypocritical expectations from me in our relationship which I can’t tolerate.

But she’s also very emotional and sensitive, so I don’t want her to feel dumped. I want her to feel as if she’s leaving me by seeing no future with me. How do I do that?

Single kid, father cheating and generally toxic(he used to tell me it was gay to help out in the kitchen as a child) mostly me and my mom usually together going everywhere,having each others backs i had some tough times in high-school and first year college due to missing a year due to health issues etc and had no friends and she was the only person i had.She did all her duties as a mother through good and bad times. I have never lived outside of home too(covid,wfh, and college was in my city).i know i am lil too attached.I had anxiety till i was 20 something due to childhood bullying and some nights she used to sleep in my room to calm me down. Like i wouldn't be where i am today nor i would have a career today if it weren't for her having my back always.

I can already see this stirring up some problems later when i will be married.I know i am searching for a safe space and just scared of people in general(did not have the best relationships in college too,dated some batshit crazy people) Plus mostly idk moving out living on my own i know it would be scary, i have a problem trusting people(which i get is due to my dad cheating etc). idk if i ever will feel safe not living at home and living on my own with other person.

somewhere inside i have this feeling that no one would love me like my mom does.And i know this shit can cause problems later on. I have read over the years and heard stories how the guy was too attached to their mom or dad which lead to separation with their spouses.

27 still live at home(to save money mostly),homecooked meals daily by mom(this is the starting point) plus being an asian with overbearing mom's dosent help.

The only solution to this which my mom suggests and i definitely agree is move from home some distance like atleast 7000NM would be good to fix me make me independent emotionally. i already am independent,earn well,cook well, do everything on my own, just lil too emotionally attached living at home.

Which ongoing conflict interests you the most ?

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I'm from a country that does nothing on Halloweens. Though I always call in sick to school and watch scary movies all day. Were they really spooky back then? Was trick or treat real?

As a 31m, I’m finding it harder to do solo trips - rather the desire to capitalize on solo trips (always thinking about the financial future). I’m not scared to do it by myself, I’m more open than ever, if anything. But, again, the trigger pull is hard.

Has anyone took a small trip, weekend getaway, something to just escape life, by yourself, as a 30yo+ dude?

Where did you go? What did you do? How long did you stay? Did you find it beneficial? Would you recommend it to other 30+?

I have had him use disposables a couple times and he is getting the hang of it. I'd like to buy him either a decent cartridge razor or a safety razor next but not sure the best way to go.

Honesty? Understanding? Things of that nature.

If you dress well for other people, how's that going and is it hard to keep up the motivation?

If you dress well for yourself, why do you value dressing well?

^(^("Well" just means you put some effort in and have various outfits you wear and don't wear the same shirt every day and you don't wear clothes with holes in them.))

Nah. It's not too late. While it is more difficult at this stage of life, change is not impossible. If you have breath in your lungs you have the capability to change your life for the better. I don't know who needs to hear this, but here it is.

I (35F) have a friend (41M). We'be been very close friends for 12 years. Moved cities and even while living afar we still talk on the phone for hours at least once a week. We vent, talk about work, life etc.

He just asked me for a favor, "can you bring me a pair of tennis shoes on your next trip abroad"? (I usually go abroad to visit family on Christmas), he lives a couple hours away from said family and really wants to buy a pair that's only available in the US.

The problem is, I have a 2 year old, have to pay two tickets and the airline that takes me there doesn't have baggage allowance more than one personal item for free. They charge $50+ for anything else. I bring only one personal item, which I use as my diaper bag. These shoes would take uo the space of a personal item alone.

I told him I would do it gladly if it didn't mean giving up my much needed diaper bag space (baby's food diapers, essentials)..... He seemed upset about it.

I am confused by his reaction. Would you reconsider the friendship?

I am wondering if this is a man to woman misunderstanding, or an age gap misunderstanding, or what but I felt it was reasonable to say no?

I kept trying to explain that traveling with a toddler alone is already a huge challenge and that I can only manage the one personal item. I even said "if you want to pay for the checked bag we can take it like that" and he seemed to get more upset.

I'm married with 3 kids 14 and under. I'm slightly overweight but have played soccer all of my life, so feel like I could get back into decent shape if I had a real reason to. Exploring the possibility of joining. Thiniking either the AF or Army but not completely sure... am I crazy?

EDIT: wife is fully aware and encouraging me to get all information possible so we can make the right decision for us.

I’m possibly about to be separated,in my 40s and this seems like it was my “last chance” for kids. Although it’s never been a burning desire, I do like kids and would be an awesome Dad.

Feels like my life will be very depressing growing old without them and alone.

Looking for Stories of How You Moved Forward After a Breakup

For some context, I’m 23, almost 24, and my ex-girlfriend ended our two-year relationship a few months back. Like any couple, we had our ups and downs, but I genuinely believed she was “the one.” We’d talk openly about our future—marriage, kids, everything.

Now, I find myself still struggling deeply, thinking about her nearly every moment I’m awake. I’m hoping to hear from anyone who’s been in a similar place. What helped you push through? How did you finally come out on the other side? Any advice or stories would mean a lot.

Edit : Thanks for all the responses. I’m set to graduate this December and have been actively applying for jobs—I even have a few interviews lined up. Since all my close friends graduated before me and have already moved on to their jobs, I’m in my apartment solo for now. I’ve been hitting the gym regularly and golfing quite a bit, which has helped me stay active. My classes are going well, and my grades have been strong, but honestly, the pain and thoughts are there constantly.

For a while now I've dealt with low energy and have been trying to figure out what is wrong. I'm now essentially at a loss and my doctor isn't making any suggestions. Some of the things I've ruled out:

* sleeping between 7-8 hours a day; no sleep apnea per sleep study. usually about 1-2 hours of both deep and rem sleep

* exercising 6 days a week, a mix of zone 2 cardio and moderate intensity lifting

* eating healthy, cooking most meals, 30+ grams of fiber, plenty of protein and vegetables. rarely eat out and minimal processed foods

* from bloodwork - everything within blood sugar and lipid panel is normal as are vitamin d and other micronutrients that were tested

Does anyone have success stories of finding a root cause to their low energy fatigue? Curious what else I might be able to test or raise with my doctor.

So I (36F) am one of those women that is always single but gets along well with men on account of my love of riffing and having a few traditionally masculine interests. For various reasons, I've been in a lot of situations where I'm either alone with a married man or the only woman. [EDIT: what I really mean here is that I'm around married men without their wives present-- that's when this stuff is happening]

I may be hypersensitive to this, but I get a little panicky when a married man touches or treats me in a potentially non-platonic way. So I'm talking like one or often multiple of the following:

-brushing his arm or body against mine repeatedly when standing/sitting together
-leaning in really close to whisper in my ear because it is "loud"
-running a hand down my arm or back to end a hug
-staring a little too hard at me while I'm talking
-sending me out-of-the-blue texts or memes when we have no direct friendship

[EDIT: By "memes", I mean like Instagram reels when we have never talked before, not that he is replying with GIFs to an ongoing conversation]

Is stuff like that an actual concern-- like if I started matching energies with it, we would end up in an affair? Or do married men just sometimes need a little flirting to feel like they've still "got it"? (FYI I do have married male friends that would never do any of that.)

Is it possible there is something I am doing to invite this sort of behavior (like being too "riff-y", I guess)? Should I be a little colder to married men?

In general, I would just shrug this behavior off, but 1) it is making me distrusting of men's ability to be monogamous, and 2) in the case of my friends' husbands, I am VERY concerned it could somehow affect my friendships. My female friendships are basically the backbone of my life.

I have not mentioned any of this sort of potentially-harmless contact to my friends/the wives because I am not sure if I am overreacting and don't want to make things unnecessarily awkward.

I know all men are different, so it is hard to generalize, but I'd appreciate any insight from your personal experiences. Thanks!

EDIT: Thanks for all the replies, y'all. This blew up more than I expected, I am a little overwhelmed, hah. But this seems like a nice community, many thanks. I don't have anyone I feel comfortable talking about this to IRL right now, so I really appreciate it.

I am not where I thought I'd be at 30. Any common mistakes that I should avoid?

I’m in a really difficult place right now, and I could use some honest advice from people who’ve been in similar situations. Recently, I found out (in the most humiliating way) that my husband had private conversations with my sister about our relationship. This alone wasn’t shocking, but what hurt me was discovering that he shared explicit details about our sex life with her.

My husband is at the end of BCT-army right now so I didn’t want to interfere with his process. We touched lightly on it and he didn’t deny. He did deflect and try to minimize. He mentioned it happened right before he left for BCT which isn’t that long ago (8 weeks). He said it’s in the past and we are starting a new life. I told him his actions weren’t ok. He gaslighted me by using the time we had left to not end the call on bad terms, guilting me.

He will be done with the forge and probably calling me tomorrow or Friday and I’m not sure how to proceed. It doesn’t matter how you look at it, the damage is done. I had asked him during the call if he could cut all ties with her and he said no. He had also asked me to forgive her debt ($9,000 school tuition) and now I’m suspicious. I think to myself what would make this right and I can’t think of anything. Two relationships are ruined, including the relationship with my sister, she decided to yell at me drunk at a Halloween party that my husband doesn’t want me because I’m not feminine enough, that I don’t give him enough blow jobs, and that my pussy ain’t worth shit. I raised her, kept her safe, and have been her biggest cheerleader. He was talking to her in the past to help her cut alcohol. I regret having asked him to give her a talk.

I decided to not attend his graduation. I cancelled everything despite having to pay cancellation fees.

I sent him a letter saying this:

The lies and deceit are too much for me right now. I need to distance myself because my trust is shattered, and I'm deeply unhappy. I feel humiliated and betrayed. Moving forward feels nearly impossible, and I'm uncertain whether I can continue in this marriage. I also want to make it clear that I have no interest in controlling your interactions with my sister-if you choose to keep speaking to her, that's your decision. I truly wish both of you luck as you move forward in your own lives. *Amazon orders were cancelled so don't expect anymore deliveries. I also asked your aunt to give your laptop to your sister.

For those of you who have faced similar betrayals, how did you handle it? Did you decide to try to repair things, or was walking away the better choice? I’d really appreciate any insights or personal stories from others who’ve been in my shoes. I want to make the best decision for my well-being, but right now, I feel so conflicted and lost. Why would a 30yr old man talk to his 22yr old sister in law about his sex life. No good reason😣

I'm 40s dude, with a 50s friend that has a son that's in college. I love this guy and he's like my big bro, and I love his son like a nephew.

He has said, with sadness, that he is unable to connect to his son. He has difficulty controlling his emotions, and so does his son. He is getting so frustrated at his sons inability to control his own emotions, and I'm like duh, who do you think he picked this up from?

They had a strained relationship before when his son was younger. It was pretty bad, and they both went to therapy. The son said it was the worst moment of his life. I believe they had the worst therapists for the son at the time. Son has told me dad got a little better after therapy and that what I see now is the result of that.

His son is going through some personal problems, and I've convinced him to try therapy again, but this time for him and only him, not for his mom or dad. He has found one and is going to start soon.

I know why my friend can't connect with his son. He keeps comparing his son to himself "when I was his age I was like this" or "when I was his age I did that" and I tell him over and over again, your son is not you, and is not your wife. He's his own individual person and getting frustrated he's not like you is completely irrational.

I have told my friend he should give therapy another shot to try and learn how to connect with his son. He says it doesn't matter because his son won't listen to him, but when his son asks him something like "can you not do that" his dad is like "what everyone wants it get over it. It's because they love you" I told him you can't dismiss when he talks to you and expect him to want to talk to you. His response was that he never said or did that, to which I responded you did it right in front of me, and why would I lie about that? To which I could see on this face he knew I have no reason to lie about it, so he waves his hand and says "let's just not talk about this anymore", because he doesn't want to face and accept the consequences of his actions. I'm finding it is a lot of men that are like this (I know I used to have difficulty accepting responsibility instead of blaming others).

How do I get through to this guy? I want his relationship with his son to improve but I need to get him to admit, at least to himself, that he fucked up with his son. I told him it's not your kids job to feel comfortable going to you, it's your job to make your kid feel comfortable going to you, and he's like let's not talk About it