I never had a problem with claustrophobia. I have done plenty of work in tight places through my life, tight attic spaces mostly. I have never done it before (in my youth) but I always wanted to do cave spelunking and I feel I could have gone through those super tight places if it got my to see something very few had seen. Heck…not today. Over the last few years I wake up a couple nights a week from a dream where I am stuck in a tight spot. Think crawling a passage and making a turn and getting stuck. My skin crawls just thinking of this. Watching some similar scenes on tv will cause me to look away. I’m curious if other people have developed a fear as they’ve aged. Will this get worse? Is it just a phase?

Thanks for letting me share.

Edited: typo correction

I (F, over 50) met a woman (30s) at an event. She was very friendly and even suggested a road trip. However, in the end, I was the one who asked for her contract number and later texted her to meet for coffee.

During our chat over coffee, she mentioned something about her friend in her 40s and briefly assumed I was around the same age (“.. I have a friend in her 40s, and I guess you’re a similar age. She experienced blah blah blah…”) I corrected her, saying I was in my 50s, and she responded, “Oh, no way! I thought you were in your 30s!” That comment made me realize that I may actually look my age, not younger.

This incident gave me a new perspective, and I took a moment to check my appearance in the mirror. In the reflection, I saw an older woman with darker skin, age spots, and gray sprinkled through my hair. I hadn’t really noticed how I looked outside until that moment, since I rarely check myself in the mirror. As a single loner without family or friends aging alongside me, I don’t have others reinforce the reality of getting older through shared experiences or interactions.

How do other singles and loners stay aware of their aging appearance and adjust their behaviors accordingly? (For example, I need to find new friends closer to my age).

I am 58 female. I was working out eating vegan etc. I was planning on get plastic surgery in a few years. I am starting to wonder if I can't just go ahead and not worry about how I look anymore. Does anyone really care? Does it matter how you look at this age? I am single but I'll never look 30 again.

I am finding myself in the worst financial spot at 55 than I ever imagined. I did all the right things, I have bought and sold 3 homes, 2 of which I bought before I was married, I have always had a good job, and I have 3 wonderful teenagers, 2 of which are in college.

My ex and I split almost 3 yrs ago. We had some issues, but the biggest is he started having some mental health and physical health issues, and decided he couldn't handle work anymore. I made the decision to split, and he got half the money from the house, despite everything that went into it was equity from my first 2 homes. I lost my job last year and used up most of my half just getting by until I found another job.

Now here I am, almost 56, don't own a home, I make a decent salary, but my insurance is so high, and being the sole provider for my family, I have very little money left to save anything. The job market sucks, especially for our age, so I don't foresee another job where my earning potential will be significantly higher. I am facing the reality that I may need to get a pt job for awhile to out some money away. I am not even sure who would hire me for anything like retail or the food industry, I have never had any jobs like that. I feel like my only potential to save in any real way will be to maybe get a roommate after my youngest goes to college in 4 more years. Not having a dual income household these days is rough.

I am not looking for anything, just curious if anyone else is out there struggling like this at our age? I definitely never thought I would be, but here I am.

for the past year or so I've been feeling 'off' emotionally. I've been feeling resentful, angry, low self-worth. Is this what a midlife crisis feels like? objectively, I have a great life and no 'real' problems. thanks for reading

Going through a separation after years of betrayal abuse. Scared of facing life on my own. Wondering how you do it?? I'm female, my job is not good, my home is going to have to be sold (but I do own a leaky cottage I will live in by the sea) It just seems overwhelming. The life I pictured growing old with this person - gone. Any advice?

I’d finally had enough. I’m 56 and I Waited 4 years and several delays in why he wasn’t moving to decide that’s enough. My patience is done. I am happy being single without him. I knew it was over when I felt “obligated” to call him everyday just so he would feel like he knew what was going on in my life. I no longer felt excited to talk or see him. The visits slowed down and it just didn’t make sense anymore. The last straw was him seeing a pic of me at an event taking a fan pic with celebrities… who happen to be gorgeous… he gets upset and accuses me of cheating… And what happens when I tell him I’m done… now suddenly.. he was just about to move this summer, and why am I doing this to him… but it was too late, the damage was done… I’m the type, once I’m done emotionally, there’s no going back this was it for me. At this age, I just don’t have the energy and patience to deal with anyone else’s insecurities. I’m not a cheater, and would never disrespect my relationship so to be accused on top of the long way just broke the camels back for me… I know dating is hard out there at this age, and honestly I’m not trying to right now… planning to just chill for a while. These men are crazyyy lol

I'm so excited for the journey he is beginning but so sad that the house is so empty.

My girlfriend of 12.5 years broke up with me last September. She's autistic and had only been sleeping 2-3 hours a night for most of the year which led to her believing all her thoughts were real. She got it in her mind that she needed to move out and live with her mom. It was a shock to everyone who knew us.

I've picked up the pieces, been working on myself and am ready to try dating again but I have no idea how to start.

I've gone to local "Friends Over 50" meet ups but most people my age or older seem very angry and bitter at the world. I've been dealt some tough cards but you keep trying. I still am grateful for what I have and that I'm still trying every day.

If anyone has any suggestions or tips for dating at this age, please let me know. I have no desire to give up and be a hermit for the rest of my life.

Best wishes to you all.

Perhaps it’s because our parents are passing away. I find it hard to enjoy things I used to. I just keep thinking what’s the point, my best years are behind me and I have so many regrets. I don’t want to feel this way for the next 30 years.

I’m 50 and I’ve only been a manager once. I hated it. I didn’t feel the pay outweighed the stress. I have an ok job but I’ve seen other people my age or younger accomplish more. Do people look down on guys our age that are still doing the same job for years?

I am almost 52 and I have a regret that I need an opinion on. My husband and I lived in a highrise apartment for a little over 2 years, which we absolutely loved. Then long story short, we moved to a smaller lil shack in a sleepy city, which was a mistake, as I LOVED the city. Anyway, now my grown daughter lives with us and I can’t keep getting the city experience out of my head and moving all together is not an option, so I’m entertaining the idea of moving on my own for about 6months to a year and get it out of my system. I would date my husband again, which I think would be a lot of fun too. Anyway, I KNOW people with say I’m crazy and I know I’m going to get practical answers, like “what the hell are you thinking?” Or, “ you already had 2 years, what more do you want?” I feel it would be a big regret if I didn’t give this experience to myself. Am I selfish for wanting this? Im conflicted, but also believe you truly only have one life. Opinions would be great as I’m really struggling.

You know the show 'married at first sight ' &/or 'love is blind' ? Would you trust the process of a team choosing a partner for you? I think I would, because my picker has been broken forever. I've always ended up with the wrong people, people that wanted to use or abuse me & I'd be curious what type of person they would set me up with.

For most of my life I went to the gym. I used to like it but now I hate it. Pre-Covid, I get as though I was forcing myself to go but was not seeing the results I once had. Worst part, no matter what I did, I always was muscle-achy for 2-3 days after. Which sort of ruined the opportunity to go more often per week. Then COVID came and no one could go. I tried to exercise at home but couldn’t muster up the desire to exercise. (I also was on Sertraline that was keeping an extra 20 lbs on me which was discouraging for the effort at they gym). Then the gym opened I tried to get back into it, but I had trouble being consistient. Then I lost my job and have been there once in 8 months. I think part of the issue is feeling so achy the next few days and it’s so uncomfortable that I don’t want to subject myself to that 2-3 days of pain. I take BCAA during or after my workout but it doesn’t seem to help with the muscle pain that much. I’m a creature of ‘results’. I can’t get results because it’s painful. So, I have no motivation to go and I feel heavy and ‘lunky’. (BTW, I switched to Wellbutrin about 10 months ago and since lost the 30 lbs without exercise).

If you’ve been in this situation and kick-stared your way back to fitness, please tell me what you did.

What do you listen to, that's lightweight?

I like the Rewatchables, talking unseriously about re-watchable movies, mainly from the 80s and 90s. (Recent ones included The Running Man and Along Came Polly.)

Not interested in true crime or politics. Life's too serious, I'm looking for something fun to listen to.

I've listened to Bill Burr and it's ok but a little bit goes a long way. This American Life is often very good but a little too deep for me.

Just wondering what leisure activities my husband and I could do together. They don't make movies for us anymore, we're both injured and can't do sports right now, we're already in a book club, etc. Need new suggestions.

1. What's your chief concern these days?
2. What's your favorite way of entertaining yourself?

What ABC Sunday Night Movie made you do your homework early?

I'm only 55 and I really have trouble with inflammation, swelling and pain. I'm not super sedentary, but I do have a sitting job. I'm sure over the years I have abused my body in all kinds of ways -- but wow, I'm tired of hurting. I can't even sweep and mop the floors without needing three ibuprofen to recover. Anyone have any advice? There are a lot of online programs for exercise, but I struggle with consistency there. I do enjoy walking outdoors, but again it's difficult to do that without feeling pain. If you have done something that works for you -- I'd love to hear it.