Not sure if this is common but i have suicidal ideations that started right about when I started a life insurance policy. I was able to afford coverage for an absurd benefit amount. well, amounts relative, but for me an amount I’ve never experienced or even imagine building in my life, enough to keep the thought in my head that my family’s (wife2yr old and 4yr old)life will be better with that benefit and without me. I’ve never really had a solid grasp on mental health growing up, mostly due to generational and cultural reasons. The word crazy was normally used in place. This is common right? 🤷‍♂️

Disabilities have basically made me isolated with no connection with people. The media I watch to numb the pain just reminds me of the life I will now never have due to all this. If only I would have killed myself in 2016 only.

The past week I've been taking medicine to see what is enough to take me out and what isn't. I've gone on leave from Amazon for my mental health. My family is leaving for a trip leaving me to myself. This past week I've tested on my own life 3 times. I feel like I haven't upped the anti enough, but my family knows when I'm depressed and I'm just at thw point of faking happiness until I go our with it. So they won't suspect a thing. I'm going to clean my room and do everything right to leave a peaceful setting. I've gone through a lot in my life. This week the person I wanted to share the rest of my life had broken up with me. I have never felt that way about anyone. I respect his reason but my heart is too sensitive which is his ex traumatized him and he doesnt want it to spread onto us. Which is a reasonable thing.That is not my own reason for settling with this choice of mine. It was a sprinkle of many reasons.

I am not mad at him and he is not to blame. He truly is thw best man I have ever met. I would wait for him to heal and support him from afar until we are brought back together. But I told myself at the beginning of the year if things were to not get better I would end my life for the next new years. I felt conflicted because I do not want to be here after the new years but I want to see my friends from work one last time. Give them their gifts and everything. I want to actually say goodbye and let them know that I love them and have appreciated them. Also giving them some of my possessions so I'll always be with them. Christmas time is perfect, I've always loved Christmas and I will be alone. I had already bought my ex a Christmas gift which I still want to give him before. I don't want to return it. I have a list of tbe people I want to give letters to. I plan to go to church and pray before I do this.

I've always been one to desire to have a page family and be married and my hope in life is diminished. I can be a happy person but extremely depressed. I feel comfort in my choice of wanting to end my life and be home with God and my father. I just am trying to work the plan out. What gave you comfort in these times?

I've already deleted most of my social media.

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I don’t want it to end, but I don’t see any hope left. Please convince me.

I feel so awfull. Can anyone please be kind to me and wish me happy birthday? I know it's not cool to ask that by myself sorry

When I was 12/13 in 2019 to open my eyes and start working on my future as much as I could,now I'm 18,i spent 6yrs of my life doing literally nothing, I'm fucking miserable and that's all my fault...

Death literally became my only hope in this life,but not even that I can reach...

Idk why but nobody wants me right now what is wrong with me

what is so good about life? lifes not gonna be good for everyone, so why try to force someone whos got a shitty life to stay alive? some people are destined to have a horrible life, and yeah among them are people strong enough to keep going, but not everyones like that so why force it?

Im 14f, and I tried to commit when i was 12. It was just to get attention probably because i tried to od on literal ibuprofen. Okay, now some context. I recently got expelled for 80 days for researching Adam Lanza on the school computer. And my father has been telling me to review where i want my life to go any the company i keep. And the more i do that the more i realize i still really want to kill myself. I don’t want to put in the effort all my life if i could put in just a bit of effort to slash my wrists and not exist anymore. Its also really satisfying to think of how the schools would react. I also don’t believe there’s any reason i shouldn’t or can’t.

I didn't kill myself before though I was full on planning to, almost a month ago. Now I'm really, really regretting it.

Im making this just to vent I'm sorry if it makes no sense. But I'm desperate. I'm crying angry tears right now that I have no means to kill myself and I'm about to jump out of the window because I can't function right now my chest hurts my mind is so stuffed I don't even feel like I can breathe. I'm so upset and hurt. I wish i didn't have this relationship with my mother she completely ruins my life and she always implies that everything will be better when I'm gone I literally just want to die right now. I don't know if I should jump or not. I'm in the fourth floor so it's not a sure death. I don't care about pain as long as I die in the end. I'm more scared of the drama it'll cause if I survive in some way.

I’ve been dealing with suicide since I was 13 years old. And I finally that as I live on life just got harder and harder and harder I’m not employed nor am I in school so I’m just sitting around in the house doing nothing I’ve been abused. I’ve been homeless and I had my prize possessions thrown away I’ve been hospitalized 19 times this year For mental health and I just feel like some people aren’t just made for this world. I’ve always been a hypersensitive child. I’ve been very sheltered so I didn’t have the experience of other people going to their friends house and what not I don’t know how to drive I feel very behindand I feel like I have nothing to give. I’m exhausted and it just feels like everyone else can live a healthy, happy life except for me, but I believe in reincarnation and all the good that I’ve done in this life would go onto the next life and maybe when I die, I get to be rewarded and get the life. I finally deserve.

I hate talking about switching schools to my mom. Because whenever I try to talk to her I always come out as crazy. It comes to the point where I yell at her to get her proper attention and she uses my emotions against me to make me look crazy.

I hate my fucking disabled school and I've been trying to act normal just to get out, only for my mom to tell me I'm not okay because I have emotions I express at home. No shit, I'm going to be crying at home because it's the only place I can cry alone without having my life judged on it.

I'm not calling a suicide hotline. They will drag me to a mental hospital and treat me like a fucking animal for all I care. My family doesn't give 5 flying fucks about me and I feel like vomiting after overdosing. I just want to go back to a normal school because I want a normal life. I've had so many panic attacks because my school doesn't give me the proper academics and shit for me to prepare for my future. I feel misunderstood, like the only one different. My stupid fucking mom doesn't seem to understand that these kids aren't like me and they will never be like me. They're fucking stupid and their shitty decisions have lead to them being there. I hate the people there.

I've been feeling different for my whole life and my mom tells me that I will never be different despite my attempts. I feel like I will never be successful or happy again. I just want to escape the situation I'm in and never wake up again.

I just want to be okay, and told I'm going to be something. I can't even go to my dad's family because my dad is crazy and his family hates me. I just want to kill myself so I can elimininate stress. My mom doesn't help when I try to talk, she sees me as apart of her life, not a person.

I wish people gave me actual support and assistance for being who I am, I wish people went deeply to everything instead of treating me like an animal. I wish I felt like a human. I wish my mom loved me.

I'm trapped in a male body forever. I will always be 5'11 and shaped like a linebacker. I will always sound like a man. When I look in the mirror, I do not recognise my own face. Nobody sees me as a woman. I will never be myself. 7 years of HRT hasn't fixed me. I doubt surgery will fix me either, but I'll never be able to afford it anyway. This is the biggest problem in my life. It makes it impossible for me to live a normal life. I am usually too anxious to go outside, and I cannot bring myself to interact with strangers -- or oftentimes even with people I know. I feel like I am wearing a costume that I can never take off. Nobody has ever seen the real me, and I don't think anyone ever will because I'm always gonna look like this.

I also have crippling ADHD. I have been waiting for a diagnosis for 4 years. I cannot get any help with it until I get a diagnosis. It affects everything I do, even things that I want to do. I struggle with basic tasks, including self-care, eating, hygiene, etc. I have difficulty prioritising tasks, even when intellectually I know what is most pertinent. I often find it difficult to focus on anything because of my gender dysphoria. It's such a big cause of psychic pain that I prioritise it above other things, because it's the biggest problem. Sometimes I can try to focus on something, but I just can't because all I can think about is how wrong my body is and how I'm trapped like this forever and I need to escape NOW. So I end up doing nothing, which is even worse.

My rent is costing me £1250 per month. I do not have enough money to survive. This was the cheapest place I could find. I have nobody to help me because I have no family. Eventually I will run out of money, and I will get evicted.

I am failing uni. I cannot get my work done no matter how hard I try. My brain just won't make the words come out.

I can't get a job. There are no jobs for someone who habitually shows up late and isn't able to talk to anybody. I have spent days searching job sites. There is nothing that I would be able to do.

I have no reason to live in this Hell anymore. It would be so easy to kill myself. I have a plan. My only fear is surviving the attempt and being paralysed in this body that I hate so much, which would be a fate worse than death.

I feel like I’m just making everything worse for people, myself, and those who don’t even know I exist, my cousins always blame me for misfortune or losing something, they never expect me to take it to heart, but I do. They always blame me for stuff and it’s fucking up my mental state, sometimes I think they’re right. I made jokes about killing myself so much they done take it seriously anymore, but sometimes, times like these, I’m not joking when I say I might do it. I’ve always been bad luck to people I meet, even myself, sometimes I wish I could just disappear, wipe my existence from earth, no one would remember I was there, as if I never existed. I love my friends and family, but I wonder if they’d care if I was next in line on the funeral list. I get bullied a lot because I’m kid of chubby and I have a few disabilities (stutter, astigmatism, anxiety, and a few signs of depression), but I never show that I take their words to heart. I feel useless commonly and break down a lot. In fact, I’m struggling to write this through my trembling. I want tips on what to do right now, who to talk to about this, or if I have a future. I haven’t seen much of life, but if this is the future we’re destined to, I don’t plan to see much more.

I don’t understand why are being convinced that we should go on living If a person doesn’t want to live anymore why are we not given a choice to leave? :(

Had this idea to go to a place that you can donate blood. Donate my blood. Then keep going to other places like that, lying that I haven't donated yet, and donating until I die. I wish this was possible.

Hello, I am 14 years old and I have suicidal thoughts several times a day and am also in therapy. However, my therapist has now often suggested that we involve my mother. But I don't want that. My psychotherapist doesn't know how bad it is because I don't tell her everything because I don't want her to tell my mother. I've been researching all the methods and stuff for a long time and I almost always think about death if I don't distract myself. Actually, I don't want any more help and would like to kill myself. By the end of next year at the latest. But I'm not in acute danger because unfortunately I would be too scared. I know that sooner or later I will commit suicide, I just have to wait until I have the courage. But now I can't just stay silent and say nothing in the next therapy sessions (which I don't want to), because then she would tell my mother without my consent, or get other help to stop me from the inevitable. I don't know what to do. What do you think about it? How should I behave in the next therapy session so that she doesn't tell my mother. I've been in therapy for a while now, but for a while now I don't think it's helping anymore. My therapist also says that I have depression.

I've been pretending to be happy for a while now pushing my feelings under I cant even cry anymore but I just cannot go on anymore this is it for me maybe the next life will treat me better

My roommate has 4-6 months to live due to sudden diagnosis of pancreatic cancer and cirrhosis. I take care of him and dealing with grief, homelessness after he passes. And struggling with my alcoholism, and cutting. I'm ready to just beat him to it

I am scared can someone talk to me

Just as described in the title. Genuinely, is there any good reasons not to kill myself? And the usual “oh your family” won’t work in my situation as I have none and do not have friends either. No job. No dependents, not even pets. I’m 24 and life is basically over for me before it even began. So, if there’s no good reasons, I’m going to take every pill in my cabinet tonight and see what happens. I don’t care if it fails as, like I said, I don’t have anyone to disappoint or upset. It’d be nice to feel something anyway, even if it fails or is painful

I just have no motivation, no ambitions and idek why I am here. I just feel like a waste of space and disappointment to my parents. I am not good at anything besides screwing things up for myself and I wonder why anyone has put up with me for as long as they have. Therapy and meds are temporary, i need to not feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me. I am not even sure if i want to be here next year when I turn 21, but i dont want to put my mom through this. I just dont fucking know

I am a failure. Married inamn early age, family was not satisfied. From Bangladesh, i am a male. Then can't manage a decent job, but helping students whittheidr study and it brings good money. Easily afford the expenses of my two child and other things. Now a days family pressurized for job. Wife is a job holder doxtor and recently she is going to enroll in a honorary degree. She earned good money but spent a little for childrenandd lot for herself. For cmoleting degree she got nearly 1500 usd half yearly give or take 15000tk but now she is pressured me for job. Didn't talk to me for couple of days. Situation is this, anyone can do anything wrongn and the marriage is over. I am not handling the situarion well. Took sleeping pill everyday, double doze unless i have nightmare. Help me or hate me.

for the past 2 years vena has been trying to find ANYONE who relates or even seems to be able to comprehend the fact that she is not comfortable with sex, drugs, and alcohol to the degree that it debilitates here beyond the point of everyday function. half of her waking moments are spent fantasizing about suicide. next time she goes to toronto she wants to have researched how to get roof access to tall buildings and run off to one and jump. it would make everything so much easier for vena. she wants to be a great artist and musician but her little voices always find a way to shut her off whether thats by. noticing/making up something triggering or just deciding now is the time to self harm instead of be productive. HELP!!!!!!! WHY DOES VENA HAVE TO HAVE THESE TRIGGERS HOW DO YOU GET RID OF THEM HOW DO YOU NOT GIVE UP ON EVERYTHING VALUABLE YOU TRY TO HAVE

im so tired of feeling bad every day. im tired of myself. i dont have the energy to keep going anymore. ive lost someone to suicide and know how much that loss hurts. but i also know how she felt at the end and im right there with her. i want to stop everything. i hope this post gives some clarity

(15f, if it matters)

i feel so pathetic for even making a post. i dont know what to do, i have nobody to talk to. all my issues are superficial compared to what others are going through, so why i do feel this way?

I don’t think it would work, however I do want to know what would happen.

I’m 5’8 and about 145 pounds. I currently have access to 2250mg of hydroxyzine. Plus there’s more that I can get when refilling my meds tonight (I don’t know how much though). What is the likely hood that it would actually kill me?

I’m probably not going to do it, I have too many people that care about me to actually go through with it.

I hate my life I feel like I’ve failed everyone. I hate my life and everything I the bullies at school and everyone treat my like shit. I hate it all I just want it to end. But I’m such a pussy I can’t commit to killing myself I feel like such a fucking failure I just want to die. I want to feel happy again in my own body and with everyone but I just can’t anymore

i really don’t wanna die man.