I just turned 18 two months ago and I'm tired of life. All my experiences and my ups and downs have come to this. It's over. I don't know when I'll do it but I know that's how I'm going to go out

My fiancee doesn't want to deal with me anymore and tbh I've been nothing but a drag on her life and pulling her down since we were kids. My family is hardly that. Thank God no kids and hope she's not pregnant. We have nothing to do together and no common intrests really she doesn't like to have sex and I know it's probably because of me but she lies to keep me happy

I'm gonna probably drink till I run out and shoot myself when I'm ready. I don't know when but I know it's soon. I know it in my heart brain and gut.

I have lived a lackluster life and it's Nothing to be proud of. I'll end up like every other statistic. It's inevitable.

My life was at its peak when I was a child and it'll never come back to me so it's time. It's over. I failed to do it once already and decided to give it another try. But as you can see I should've cut deeper.

My life is so fucked up, I'm an alcoholic, unlovable, unworthy of anything. I really tried my best but that's how I'm seen. I don't have family or friends to talk to. I never thought one day I'd be in this condition. The boyfriend I had for seven years who was my everything left me and married someone they met in a month.. he abused me mentally I just can't believe this is how I'm gonna end my pain.. I'm tired. I need to go.

I’m finally going to kill my self in 4 hours it’s been a very long battle to find the right time but this is it. I just turned 18 but my life has not been worth living for at least the last 4 years

My parents are away for the next few days, so won’t have to be here when it happens

It’s midnight, at 4am Im walking to a motorway bridge about 5 minutes away, at that time there will be very little or no traffic below and no one else out walking. I don’t know why i’m sharing this, I guess I just wanted to write it somewhere

I'll try to keep this short. Sometimes out of nowhere my mood changes and I get all grumpy/sad/angry at the person I love. Often I'm mad at my bf. I feel so bad on being mad at him even tho I don't have a reason. And after I'm done with being mad I want his attention and cry and feel like I did something horrible. I'm often creating fake scenarios where my bf cheats or does something and I think he did that. I know he will never do that but I get all mad at him. I start to distance myself from him and ruining the mood and our relationship. And after a while I completely regret it and start crying. If something else pops up then I'm mad again. Sometimes I go as far as hurting myself and make a plan for a suicide attempt. (Because of my alcoholic mom or my fake scenarios). And after a while I regret everything. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me but it just changes for no reason at all. Sometimes I even ripp my hair off and I start to have a mental breakdown because of something that never fucking happen. Sometimes there is something ofc but most of the times it's literally nothing. I don't want to hurt anyone around me especially my bf. Please can someone help me and tell me what causes it or what it is?? I just want to know if it's something serious or if it goes away.. I really want to live but in those moments I could do anything that can result in my death.

If one were to buy their 1st pew pew after being assaulted by their their soon to be ex spouse, and they are depressed af and just done, what would be a good pew pew to either defend myself on one hand, OR help myself out with one bang. I’m TERRIFIED of failing.

How do you have three kids, two of whom don’t speak to you and another who's going to make sure your name is in bold on their suicide note and not think the problem lies with yourself? Somehow I’m the problem? Oh ok 😂😂😂😂😂😂 bra this shit sucks 😂😂😂😂😂

It's cold outside right now, and when it's cold outside the only thing I can think about is the possibility of being made homeless. I think about that a lot because I live paycheck to paycheck and I want to die because of that. I don't want to make any changes to my life, I don't want to put in the momumental amount of work and effort necessary to make life worth living. I could be studying for my job right now, which I am techincally supposed to do as part of my job, but just thinking about opening up a fucking book and actually learning this bullshit just makes me want to pull the fucking plug already. I'm not going to be paid any better knowing this shit, at least not for a long time...I just hate this bullshit. Everything about life sucks. I don't want to play the long game, struggling to pay the fucking bills and eating cheap food. I feel like I don't actually have the power to change my life, and yet at the same time I am too scared to accept a big change in my life that might be beneficial. I'm too scared to take any risks. I just feel like my life is stuck in survival mode and I don't think it can ever get any better. Everything about life just terrifies me for some reason, and I'm constantly affraid of losing everything.

I’m currently in IOP consisting in individual, family, and trauma therapy 5 days a week- but they believe it’s not enough for me as I am basically non functioning at this point and missing a lot of sessions and have been recommended a residential program. I’m looking for recommendations. About me: I’ve been diagnosed with BPD, major depressive disorder, OCD, panic disorder, anxiety, PTSD. Suicide attempt in June and just have been progressively getting worse. I had a horrible inpatient experience after my attempt where I was mistreated and ignored by doctors. Looking for: Individual therapy ideally 5 days a week Trauma treatment and EMDR I have a lot of physical health issues that I have mostly learned to manage but my concern is being able to accommodate food allergies. Would like a program that doesn’t just bandaid with medication but incorporates overall wellness habits that can be integrated post treatment. I am 18 so I would prefer a young adult residential program, but it’s not 100% necessary. I am from the NJ/NY area, again not 100% necessary since I’m prioritizing quality of the program over location.

Any experiences or recommendations is highly highly appreciated as I am really desperate to get help. Thank you so much.

Health care systems just keep me safe from suicide, and did nothing other than putting me on a long waiting list. Nothing has changed since I've seeked help, and I'm sick of it. So is there actually a way I can get better?

After trying and failing for so long this last rollercoaster of a ride has been it I give up I can't do it I just want to be loved I want to be understood I have BPD we apparently don't live long and are monsters so what's the fucking point of trying anymore I can't do it I just want my son to be in a safe place so I can just sleep I just want quiet and I just wanted everyone to know I genuinely tried all I could I really did I did my best but some are doomed to fail

I grew up in an abusive religious community. Recently I woke up to the lies and have been cut off by my family and community.

I seem to be on the spectrum but high functioning enough that it mostly escapes notice. There’s just something socially that I don’t get.

Maybe it’s something non-verbal, I don’t know. But whatever it is, I don’t get it and normal people aren’t aware of it so they’ve been unable to point it out to me.

That’s left me feeling very alone. Very isolated. Even when surrounded by family. I feel that no matter what group I’m a part of, I quickly become “the other” and eventually the common enemy.

When I try to ask questions to figure out what it is that I’m not getting, people get mad at me. I understand I must be doing something wrong. I just don’t know what it is. I wish I did. I would change it. I just want to belong.

But I’m in my mid 30s. I haven’t found the group yet that I belong to and I really don’t think that’s ever going to happen.

I don’t want to live out the rest of my life like this, unable to connect with other people, doomed to alientate any friends I eventually make. I’m at the point where I think it would just be better to die.

Anybody with similar circumstances? Anybody been here before and found a way through? Is there any real reason for me to hope things will change?

My family doesn't hide it from me that I am nothing but a pain to them They want me to change, sure

I would listen But the extent of emotional and sometimes psychical abuse they are putting me through is too much.

The straw that broke me today is that they are threatening to kill my cat. My cat, the only reason I have held off killing myself for so long.

I will likely rehome her soon, she needs to be safe.

As for me?

I honestly don't know.

Right now I just feel useless.

Everyone will always tell me this or that, how it will get better, how I can find a reason to live, get out of that situation etc

But at this point, I am just at the very end with myself.

I don't want to "improve". I don't want to do anything more than just not exist.

Trust me, I would endure all the pain needed right now IF that would guarantee that I would be dead.

I don't want to spend any more second of being alive, yet, I cannot find a 100% method in which I can guarantee my own death.

If my family loves me so much, they would recognize what they are saying and doing. But they don't.

My feelings are never acknowledged, never have been.

Same with any accomplishments I was ever happy to reach, that was never acknowledged either, yet my faults are always on the blast.

I'm so done with this.

I need to think of a way that I know I can pull off without anyone finding out.

I am 25 and going to turn 26. I am afraid that I am doomed to be a housewife forever. I am gonna have to live a boring life and it doesn’t help that I have autism and other disabilities. I want to end my life because I am a burden. I don’t want to live anymore because I will never be the independent woman that I want to be.

I have Agoraphobia, OCD, ADHD, and Bipolar. Everything in my life is a fight. Simply showering and shaving my legs this morning was a war. Now I had to spend Like $300 on medical bills. I don't see any hope. Everything scares me. I need a job, but the idea of being stuck at a building makes me want to vomit. I've tried the whole self employed thing and I love it, other then my BF it's one of the few things that gives me joy, but it's not growing fast enough to help. Please just let me die, honestly I probably deserve to die anyway

I can't help my mum, I can't help.

My brain has been damaged by the biological weapon that is COVID.

I can't breathe. I get PEM.

I'm 40 male. Single. No kids . I'm in debt in the UK because the medical system is shite.

I've decided to die by the mid year, I think about how daily, every hour.

I've left my GP...

Only my sister will remain in a few years, I'm sorry but I cannot live like this anymore.

Do I die before my parents. Or wait till they've gone?

That's where I am at, deciding when not if, and trying to minimise impact.

I'm thinking before my parents so at least they can support eachother.

I lie to my colleagues, friends and family that I'm doing better.

You don't recover from Post Viral. I'm completely changed.

I am fucking begging at this point

"I'm sorry", I replied, "this is just the way my face looks right now".

She broke every piece of me, even the sense of safety I'd worked so hard to build in my life.

The pain is unbearable. I won't kill myself, but I'm back in the headspace of wishing something would put me out of my misery, but for the sake of my child who keeps me clinging to this life, I'd be long gone.

Peace to all you weary restless souls

I'm a fucking mess. If you're reading, I'm likely already dead, having smashed my head in with a baseball bat. Ironic, I was never good at baseball. I'm a victim to this wretched fucking country, and all the bullshit that happens in today's society. Fuck the government, fuck capitalism, fuck the system, and fuck this country. To quote legendary musician Kurt Cobain, "remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away." I'm a fucking joke, my entire conception and birth was a fucking joke. Nobody will give a fuck when I'm gone, they'll defile my grave and curse my name.

Goodbye, farewell, and good luck.

Piper

Idk, I feel like even the people here wouldn’t care, I’m so angry

and it’s my fault because of my issues that i won’t fix. Idk why i even post anything

If I tell mom, she will get frustrated and stressed. I really just wanna take a bunch of pills and just sleep cuz it's too much right now. My flight response to things has caused me to be stuck. I'm so overwhelmed. I really wanna OD rn. But I don't want me parents to go through this shit that I've created

And fuck everyone in it

I'm so isolated and tired.

My OCD has been flaring up for the past couple of months, but it's gotten exponentially worse over the past week. I can't take OCD meds because I have a bad reaction to them; I don't have a therapy appointment until Friday.

I feel hopeless and trapped.

she always says that when shes mad at me,i still love my mom

There's not really much elaboration I could do, my life as of now has been nothing but failures and breakdowns and I don't believe it could get better. People say these were the best years of their life which implies that it only gets worse. Why not fucking end it all then. When the "best years" come to an end, my life also will. I don't see a point. There's not really a point when everyone dies anyway, everyone just does it in their own way. Funerals being full of "I'm so sorry..." just make me wonder why the fuck they're apologising since everyone's dying anyway and everyone should know that. There's no escape from it. Anyway I kinda sidetracked. I just don't think there's a future for me because I can't even perform basic tasks without wanting to cry and go back to bed. I don't eat or drink enough unless someone reminds me. I don't clean my room until someone points out how filthy it is. And when I do these things and many others, I just feel forced. And I fucking hate feeling forced which makes me not do it either way (for example barely even touching dinner and leaving my room as it is until I'm being screamed at). Nothing helps me. But I don't want to be helped. Sometimes I just want to get as bad as possible until everyone starts hating me and nobody would care if I killed myself after that. If people actually knew what kind of thoughts I had every day I'd be on these fucked "top 10 most disturbing reddit users" videos. I'm actually so fucked in the head it's insane. And then I go and spend my day on online forums instead of seeking out actual help, making myself feel worse about who or what I am. There's no future for me because I believe I just can't get better. I don't see myself being happy. I don't see myself being satisfied with my life. I don't see myself at 38 years old, married, working full time, eating dinner every night. I just can't imagine it. I don't even want to.

i attempted to take my own life on 3/17/24 (march 17) by taking trying to overdose on tylenol. i cant talk about it without crying and i dont know how to stop. when i try to talk i just feel so sad. what can i do to not feel so sad? i feel ashamed because it wasnt that serious. i feel like a pussy.

Over the past few days I’ve done whatever I can to possibly kms. First I cut my legs from foot to cooch. Second, I had three full bottles of over the counter medication. Third, I ate a quarter pound of raw meat. Fourth, I drank half a liter of bleach. Now, I’ve drank a liter of mouthwash. And somehow I’m still not dead.

P.S. The reason why I put this on Reddit is because I wanted someone to acknowledge my faults, and I’m mortified to tell a friend.

I don’t know what to do. I’m totally not functioning. My house is disgusting. I have a dog that I can barely take care of. I don’t want to go to a psych ward and lose her if I have to be alive. I’m a travel nurse who hates nursing. My contract is about to end and I have no plans after. Iv just thought about ways I could end it all. I had a suicide attempt three or four months ago by giving myself too much medication. But was too much of a bitch to finish the job. I called my mom and I’m a 27 and she really can’t do anything about it. I don’t want help. I just want to die. And I want my dog to go to the best home ever. I’m struggling with leaving her behind. I won’t have health insurance to cover a psych hospital. I’m on three medications. Nothing helps. Iv tried so many. Iv been depressed as long as I can remember. Nothing brings me joy. I wake up dreading being alive. Having a dog makes it tougher because I let her down every day. She’s a super active breed and all I do is sleep. She goes to a sitter when I work and it’s the only time she probably gets anywhere enough stimulation. I won’t be working soon. My house is disgusting. I am disgusting. I truly want nothing but death. I have no motivation. I don’t know what to do. I have nothing left in me. I need to know what to do. I keep having mental breakdowns. I don’t know what to do.

Posting here in the hopes that someone, somewhere can relate to what I am going through and offer some hope, advice, insights, or anything, really. I am at the point where I don’t see the point of soldiering on, and charcoal-burning carbon monoxide poisoning is looking very attractive.

I am a man in my 50s. I do not take pride in many things, but one thing that I have taken a small amount of pride in throughout my life is my independence and self-reliance. No matter what I faced, I could handle it. My parents divorcing when I was young. Handled. Being bullied at school for being different. No problem. Having trouble relating to people and making friends because I am socially awkward and shy. I got this. That is, I could handle it-until now.

In the span of just three months, my world has come crashing down on me.

1. I have learned that my wife of 20+ years has been unhappy in our marriage for a very long time and wants to separate and probably divorce. This came as a complete shock, and I am devastated beyond words.

2. Because of 1), I will have to transfer jobs and move out of my house into an apartment in another part of the country because I cannot afford to live where I currently do on my salary alone.

3. I have been formally diagnosed with autism. While this has been helpful in understanding many of the difficulties I have had in my life (including why my spouse wants to leave me) and is something that I suspected, I am still reeling from having my mere suspicions officially confirmed.

4. I have learned that the full-time teleworking job that I have had for many years is now going to require me to go into the office more than half the time. I need a quiet, dark, distraction-free environment to work well. That is why I work from home. The idea of shlepping into a noisy, bright, environment filled with chatty people and other distractions makes me physically ill.

5. I have cancer. It isn’t terminal and can be treated. The treatment is to be determined, but it will be expensive and it will be draining.

I am a creature of structure and routines, and change has always been very hard for me. Any one of these items would be difficult for me to handle on my own. But to be hit with all of them all at once is well beyond my capacity. And I have no support system. I have no friends and no family beyond my separating spouse that I can talk to.

I have had moments where I have thought about just walking away from it all. Quit my job, sell everything, and just drive away somewhere. Or fly to Europe. But I know that I would just be exchanging one set of problems for another.

I know many of you have it far worse than I do, and many of you would gladly exchange your set of problems for mine. Maybe I am not as self-reliant and independent as I think I am, and the small amount of pride I had was misplaced.

I am too old, and I am too tired for all of this. So, please, redditors, give me some reasons why I shouldn’t just fire up the charcoal grill in an enclosed space and take a long nap. Or give me more reasons why I should. I welcome anything. Thanks for reading this.

Wuzzup suihomies. Been reading y'all's post and ofc I'm in the same boat. Completely fucked housing, chronic pain, no career, no will to live, accutely aware of our dying planet...

But seems like there's really nothing to be done? Most of us are just agreeing with each other about how bad it is... For what it's worth love y'all I hope we can make it to the light on day or at least be successful in escaping this planet...

See y'all in the nether regions... I mean world...