My top three:

1. LGTBQ+ acceptance
2. People taking mental health more seriously
3. Working from home, if you're lucky!

I also personally love the love and acceptance of bully dog breeds.

39m happily married with 2 amazing kids. Love to talk about history, OSU football, and why the Jedi are the bad guys.

-both in early 30s, M & F. Friends Have you ever ghosted someone (friend/partner) while they were going through a rough time? If so, do you feel bad about it? Recently this happened to me. I’m torn between understanding ( huge episode of depression) since in the moment I’m sure I was hard to deal with and also being so hurt/ mad because I truly needed someone to talk to. I’ve never been ghosted before & im not sure how to deal with it.

I’m from Detroit, and I came to Chicago originally for Law School. I wanted to go to school in a warmer city when I was applying, but the only school that I got into and also gave me scholarship money was a Chicago law school.

It has been a really great experience so far: I’ve set myself up pretty well for employment once I graduate, I’ve made some decent friends in and out of law school, I have been able to meet girls very easily, I’m able to do most of my hobbies that I like to do around the city (outdoors/beach activities and hockey), and there’s a lot to love about the culture and atmosphere of the city.

However, there are a couple things that concern me about living here or in the Chicago area.

First, I am politically Conservative/Libertarian and I am trying to become more involved in my Catholic faith. Although this hasn’t been too much of an issue for me, it makes me think that eventually I will have to move to a northern suburb to be around likeminded people if I stick around.

Second, although I have a solid social circle and have made some genuine friends that I would want to see if I moved away from Chicago, I feel somewhat lonely. I do have some close friends who live here, but it’s starting to become more difficult to see them because we are becoming super busy with our lives. Although I have made tons of different friends that I really do like, it feels sort of lonely, and I’ve felt this way in varying degrees for the entire time I’ve lived here.

Ultimately, what I miss the most about living in Detroit is being around people that I have a stronger connection to. I am starting to go on a different path than all of them, whether it be because I am surpassing them in potential success, or because I live in a different place than them now. I didn’t really like living in Detroit when I was younger, and I don’t want to go back, but I really miss being around my friends from Michigan and I want to maintain these connections.

I’ve always thought I wanted to live in a warm weather city, but I don’t think that would ultimately be something that’s necessary for the place I want to live. I’ve always wanted to live in Austin, Nashville or on the beach in the Carolinas. I think Florida would be too hot for me and I think most of Texas has too little of outdoor activity to do.

People who have been in similar situations as me, what do you think I would need to do to properly evaluate the place I want to live at?

TLDR; I like living in Chicago but there are 2 cons that I worry may become determinative of where I decide to live.

Hello, I'm 28 and I have been finding a lot about my own complex trauma recently. I struggle with depression, anxiety, etc. Been trying to learn to love myself and give myself grace, but the most difficult thing I've become aware of recently is the amount of shame and fear I carry.

It's harrowing, but I do not want to view myself as a victim forever because I can finally recognize how it has held me back. I am still honestly trying to accept that my life is literally in my hands regardless of what was done in my childhood.

Would love if anyone else who relates could share wisdom.

Either for nostalgia reasons that it was your first or just the design you always loved.

Nissan 300ZX

If so, how did I go?

I feel that I am rapidly changing and working on establishing a new business in a new country. I have heard about people who radically changed their lives and basically spent months or years without friends in order to do so. I am toying with this idea. I still maintain friendships with people I can talk to on the phone in my home country, but I am considering being alone for awhile in a new country.

Does anyone have any stories to share?

Hi friends, my partner and I are on the edge of separating. We’re going to pursue couple’s counselling. In the meantime, I am hanging by a thread emotionally and need to keep the hope alive. Can you tell me your stories of a relationship falling apart and then coming back together successfully?

Somebody who had a long range and seemingly far fetched plan that came to fruition.

Like investing in the stock market early and often and having a huge nest egg at 50.

Learning an obscure skillset that exploded in demand.

Bought derelict land or property that was eventually gentrified/developed.

Took care of their health through eating, exercise etc and are limber and active in old age.

Cultivated relationships in a specific social circle that lead to a huge life come up (job, marriage, business investments).

Edit: Implied in the question, is that there was deliberate foresight into going in this direction for the long term payoff, not blind luck that worked out.

Hi folks,

I'm a man in his 40's. These past few months I've put on a tremendous amount of weight. I'm actually very devastated about it. However, I've decided to do something about it by going to the doctor to figure out if anything else could be going on. There's a possibility of it being a combination of untreated ADHD, depression, and PTSD.

This evening I tried to weigh myself and the scale didn't work. I said out loud "I don't think I want to know", and my family member said "yeah, I wouldn't want to either".

I'm saddened that this happened. I've never been body shamed before. How do I move forward in a good way?

My GF (27) & I (32) have been dating for 3 years we have no kids together, I do have a son who is 11. I have my son every other weekend and split some holidays with his mother. We’ve had this schedule since our son was 3. My girlfriend doesn’t feel like I get enough time with my Son or that it’s necessarily fair to me to only have every other weekend when in her eyes I am more than capable of sharing a week on week off schedule (that’s what she thinks would be best) I on the other time don’t feel like it’s the right thing to do, my son and I gave a extremely close relationship, the time I spend with my son on the weekends I truly dedicate to him. I am always in the crowds at school events, I speak with him through out the week to make sure he is completing his work & behaving for his mother. It’s not that I don’t want to have 50/50 I just don’t think it’s fair for kids to be split between 2 homes like their some kind of object or toy of one sort. Having 2 homes is not having a home & my son knows my home is a safe place for him if ever needed. His mother and I don’t really “co parent” I guess you call it parallel parenting and I think for a kid to have to bounce back in forth between 2 homes that could be so different then one another, I worry he could suffer from some sort personality issues like who he really is if he is constantly being shuffled and raised 2 different homes.let me say I dont think his mother is a bad parent, we just have different views but I leave her to raise our son and she leaves me a to do what I please during my time and I like that. Am I wrong for not wanting to disrupt the schedule my son has had most his life? I don’t want to take Him from his home he has known, he has sisters and a step dad, I realize he has a family with his mother that I don’t want to rip him from. I guess my thinking is why fix something that doesn’t need to be fixed? Is this wrong? Does this really make me a shitty dad? For wanting to keep stability for my son?

Im $2000/month 2bed Vancouver Canada

Have you ever had this happen to you? For a few minutes after reading I thought I suddenly needed glasses.

I (38/m) was reading Harry potter, and for maybe 20 minutes I didn't look up, I was very into the book, finally I looked up and the world around me was blurry. This has never happened to me before, I have done eye exercises for years and really don't want to have to get glasses. It was honestly kind of scary, it's like in an instant my vision went bad. After a few minutes it came back, I did some eye exercises and I appreciate my vision more than ever.

I am afraid to read for extended periods again though, does this ever happen to you? Does your vision always come back?

I don't get it. Jobs are jobs. Unless you have a true passion for your profession it is just a job. I have never expected my job to do anything but give me a paycheck.

Without going too deep into my whole life story, he didn’t do anything wrong, but when we were growing up, he had many opportunities that I didn’t have. Anything he wanted, he got: computers, clothes, business loans, equipment, professional courses, etc. It wasn’t a money thing; our folks had more money than they knew what to do with, they were just very clear about him being the priority. They put a lot of effort into making sure he was set up for life, and he’s leveraged a lot of those resources over the years to the point where he is now one of the “top guys” in his chosen profession. Don’t get me wrong, he’s an incredibly hard worker and he’s very talented, but I can’t shake the feeling that he’s partially where he is because of everything that was done for him.

I received no support from our folks and in many cases, they actively worked against me. After I graduated from college I moved across the country and didn’t look back. This is not a success story where I had a Rocky montage and rose from the ashes like a phoenix: I work in a call center, I live in a small apartment with my wife, we can barely afford rent, and my body’s shot from decades of manual labor jobs. Of course, absolutely none of this is his fault. It’s also not my parents’ fault, not entirely anyway.

Lately he’s been reaching out because he wants to do holidays and family stuff together, and I don’t even know what to say. I’d like to be closer as well because you only get one family, but I don’t want my jealousy to get in the way of that. He has a very different outlook and personal narrative regarding the way we grew up.

Edit: From my very limited understanding of the situation, I believe he feels that I’ve personally distanced myself from him in every possible way and he can’t figure out why, because when we were young we were very close: I’ve since moved across the country, I’ve converted to a completely different religion than the one my family practices, I’ve deleted all of my social media and made myself quite difficult to contact, and in general my life is entirely different from how it used to be.

I’m having a hard time finding a job right now, lots of remote jobs are only open to applicants in certain states, like Texas. I used to live in Texas, have family in Texas, and plan on moving back there in the next year. What would happen if I use my grandparents address as my address until I move back?

EDIT: this is not a job that I would be called into an office for, it is a fully remote job. It is not based in Texas but is open to applicants that live in Texas as well as a few other states like Washington, New York and a few other. Likely because their payroll is set up to support those states. Thanks for the answers, taxes were the main thing I was curious about in a situation like this.

My girlfriend wants to go to a co workers child’s birthday party and I don’t think it’s a good idea, actually I don’t want to go at all. The co worker is constantly arguing with her husband; was on the verge of divorce 2 years ago and again now she is looking for divorce lawyers. I absolutely do not want to go and subject ourselves to there unstable family dynamics. The entire things just doesn’t sound enjoyable. My girlfriend doesn’t hang out with this girl ever, they don’t even see each other at work since they work from home. My girlfriend says I’m being a party pooper & that my age is showing. She doesn’t want to go alone and I don’t want to go at all. I suggested we do something together but she insists we go. It’s a kids birthday we don’t even have kids their age and I just have a feeling something is going to pop off with the family. Should I just suck it up and go?

ETA: she has no real reason she wants to go; like I said she isn’t really friends with these people just occasionally speak and what she’s told me about them are not pleasant things. She’s made their first impression not so good & I don’t even know why she wants to go cause she talks shjt about the entire situation. Seems childish to me.

The strategy you are doing to achieve a specific goal. It could be:

Angling for a promotion to a leadership job in your department.

Just coasting until retirement.

Being an invisible man in the corner to pass time..

Learning a specific skillset to hop for more money shortly.

Take down a toxic colleague

Be an MVP in your field for the ego boost

Surviving a targeted political attack against you.

Proving your worth to survive an upcoming layoff.

Be a pain in the ass to get terminated with a nice severance.

Schmoozing your way into the inner circle to have job security

Here I was swearing all my life that I’d never start dressing like an old person, but little did I realize that your existing style eventually just becomes your generation’s “old people” style.

And that’s fine 😁

Hey hope everyone is doing well, as the title says we are thinking about moving. We have been together for almost 4 years we are both 20. We have been traveling for about two years now , 3 countries 5 cities. Im just wondering how has moving been for those who moved states? I am a little nervous about leaving my mom and little brother here where I currently am. Backstory ( my little brother doesn’t have a father ) so I been trying to be a good role model while here so that’s really my only worry. My other family do their own thing so it’s not really on my mind.

My gf and I have the same goals on what we want in life. She is currently in nursing school she graduates in two years meanwhile I am a truck driver. We are either thinking about Virginia, Georgia , north or South Carolina. Those who know any info on those states please help as far as laws, wages for our profession, cost of living, nice county to live in etc.

For those who moved states and was nervous about leaving something behind please help also. Thank you in advance I appreciate it!!

I've always splurged for progressive lenses in the past, but they're so freaking expensive with my insurance that I put off replacing them much longer than I should. The old-school kind will save me hundreds of dollars.

Are the lines that big a deal? Do you stop noticing them after a while? Or will I regret it?

I could use some guidance and perspective. Below is some context and background information.

TLDR: Divorce (no kids) and navigating professional changes. Do I take a new job or not?

29F. Born and raised abroad. Expatriate parents that work in international business, so in many ways, I had privileged upbringing. However, I was also diagnosed with an autoimmune condition as a toddler, resulting in years of chemotherapy, immunotherapy infusions, and numerous reconstructive joint surgeries throughout my childhood and adolescence. Battling experiences like paralysis and chemotherapy at such a young age kept me from turning into a spoiled little brat, and taught me to work hard, how to be disciplined, not to take your health for granted, and to never give up on yourself, among many other valuable life lessons.

Against all medical and statistical odds, I still managed to thrive: college, travel, etc. Shortly after completing my studies (business), I got hired at a prestigious tech company. Met my (at the time) husband through mutual friends while working there. I spent almost two years working at that company. Six years ago, we moved from the west coast to the east coast. I've continued working in technology, albeit in the financial services industry, at a large bank. I've dabbled across numerous job functions at the company, and will soon be coming up on six years at my current employer.

To make a long story short, my husband and I are currently getting divorced, and have now been separated about seven months. What I thought was simply a short temper, turned into serious anger issues. What I thought were simply pack-rat tendencies, turned into a full-fledged hoarding problem. What I thought was simply enjoyment of a few drinks, turned into full-blown alcoholism. What I thought was simply a challenging transition out of the military, turned into 5+ years of chronic unemployment, despite him being healthy and able-bodied. What I thought was simply a need to better understand personal finances, turned into SUBSTANTIAL financial irresponsibility. And about eleven months ago, unfortunately, his anger escalated to a physical level, and left me fearing for my life and safety. This wasn't the first time he'd gotten physically aggressive or forceful, he had a history of throwing objects and things, and on several occasions, I had sustained injuries from his physical aggression with objects. However, in this particular instance, I saw his hands fly towards my face and neck, and, well, let's just say my life effectively flashed before my eyes. That was basically my last straw.

Thankfully, we never had children, so it's been an 'easier' break than if we did have children. 90% of the divorce process is complete, all the paperwork stuff has been completed, just waiting on a hearing, and for a judge to stamp his/her gavel and make it official. Hearing is in a few weeks. Life has exponentially improved since I left him, in so many ways. I sold the house we lived in and earned a modest but healthy profit, found myself a beautiful condo, I went on two fabulous and restorative vacations, my finances are in better shape than they ever were while married to him, my migraines have completely disappeared, I'm re-connecting with both old and new friends, I'm re-discovering my own hobbies and interests, and overall just learning how to embrace the art of investing in my own health, wellbeing, and sanity. I'm also still in therapy, and have been for over a year now.

The issue (and reason why I'm posting) is my job. Long story short? I feel like I've peaked or reached a plateau, so to speak. Like many companies, there's been a TON of turnover the past few years. I've mostly worked under and with fabulous peers and leaders in my (almost) six years here, but my most recent set of two managers, who I've been reporting to for about six months now, are AWFUL. I'm back to crying in the bathroom stall on practically a daily basis. My employer has also become INCREDIBLY hostile towards people with disabilities or medical conditions. I've been jumping through their absurd administrative bureaucracy since autumn of 2021 in terms of WFH vs. hybrid vs. RTO. The commute SUCKS, it's about 90 minutes each way by car. I've started taking the train, which cuts down on some costs, such as gas, tolls, time behind the wheel, wear and tear on the car, etc. The work itself is no longer fulfilling. Half my workload/book of work is incredibly repetitive year over year for three years now, and a newer portion of my book of work makes me want to shove toothpicks through both my eyeballs, and is also fairly repetitive.

For anyone that takes Amtrak, you know cost of tickets can fluctuate significantly. I've done the math, and I'm probably spending (more or less) about $75-$100 per week on transit costs, give or take. RTO policy = 3 days per week. There's also tax implications. The state I live in vs. work in don't share tax reciprocity. I've had to pay an additional $502 per month to the state I work in, in addition to state taxes in my own residential state, as well as obviously federal taxes. Put another way: if I were to take a new job within the state lines of where I live, or even THREE other bordering states (which DO share tax reciprocity with my residential state), even if my salary were to stay exactly the same as it is now, I would still see an additional $502 per MONTH in my pocket, because I'd no longer have to pay taxes to the state I currently work in. $502 per month = $6,024 per year. Now multiply that by 5+ years, and that = over $30,000 paid in additional taxes.

They say not to make any drastic changes or decisions during the first year following major life changes, such as death or divorce. I'm about seven (almost eight) months into separation. I REALLY want to make a professional change, but the ongoing layoffs across so many companies has me TERRIFIED to jump ship right now. My brain plays a masterful "what if?" game.

What say you, fellow grown-ups and adults? I'd love any guidance or insight.

I keep taking contract roles and they end up not lasting.

These are higher paying jobs billed at $105,000+. Im 33 and have been in my field pre- and post-grad school for 2.5 years.

I have terrible feelings about them but I need the money. Last one, took 3+ months from interview to start date and the agency would call me incessantly when they needed something then ghost me when I had a question and wouldn’t reimburse me for my drug test.

How do I break this cycle? A new career? Hold out for a proper in-house role? It’s extremely competitive and it’s shifting heavily towards contracts.

Idk what to do. Sometimes it’s me, many times it’s absolutely not. This is the second role in a year after being laid off from my full-time role following a private equity acquisition in late 2022. It’s been such a roller coaster. I just want normalcy.

Matt Friend

https://youtu.be/NkUs6uemitw?si=r0zpO3TbPjnb01JK

I'd say, as a whole, probably clothes / shoes, for me. And "health/wellness" electronics are a close second. I don't need that towel warmer or most of the kitchen appliances.

I'm 41 years old and I'm considering a TKR for my left leg.
What is the best materials used today for longevity.

I want my TKR to last for hopefully for 20 or maybe even more.
I will not play contact sports, I just want my life back.

For a couple of days I have been consulting ChatGpt & Gemini on this subject but now I want someone with actual knowledge to advice me.

Gemini says that - materials like (Ceramic) or (Oxinium - Zirconium dioxide) are very Wear Resistant.
What is the difference between these materials and (Highly Cross-Linked Polyethylene - UHMWPE) ?

Someone also told me there is something called a (Sport Model TKR) that has the best materials.
Does anyone know anything about this?