I’m curious how long you spend together with family or friends and what it is you do

For us, it has always been a multi day affair and I doubt most families do this. We began Wednesday evening and still have family in town that we are hanging out with.

What do you do?

Black Friday and Cyber Monday.

A Turkey Roaster

Used to be you had 7 or more choices for "special" Cards. Went to 3 places and all had pretty much the same cards. 1 for sister, 2 for Mom and Dad, 1 for Grand Dad and 2 for Grand Mom. Neither of the grandparents cards geared toward young kid giving the card.

They did have 3 for the dog to someone........

Like addressing wounded inner child, codependency, addiction, anger/rage, people pleasing, anxiety, overeating.

That by doing some type of work (self guided therapy, professional talk therapy, hypnosis, meditation) it has a tangible difference.

I am visiting my mother for the holiday and her and my uncle are watching the Yellowstone marathon. The two of them have had a nonstop narration going on with the television all week. It’s not just this show, either. Whatever is on, they’re narrating or discussing. Am I just used to living alone? It’s exhausting.

30 years old here. Grandparents moved into a (very nice) retirement home recently, about 25 minutes from my house.

How often is reasonable to visit?

Additional info: My mom (their daughter) lives out of state but my uncle (their son) lives nearby although visits less often than I currently do.

Grandparents are physically a bit frail and not too mobile, but no dementia or anything yet.

While I enjoy seeing them, I have to be honest that the constant obligation and martyrdom is getting to me. (My grandma is a classic “woe is me” martyr and there is definitely judgment/guilt-tripping the times I am unable to visit or have something else planned that weekend) I have a life outside of my grandparents and I don’t think I’m a bad person for wanting boundaries.

When I was about 3-4 my parents split up, my mom got in a relationship quick, ended up being my stepdad. When I was about 7 I remember specifically my real dad came to a wrestling match of mine and I was due to go with him. For some reason I had a psychotic breakdown and didn’t want to go with him, for whatever reason after trying to get me to go with him I guess he gave up. From what I remember that’s the last time I ever saw my real father. I love my stepdad since he’s always been a huge part of my life. But I’m 30 years old now. Some of my family on my father’s side connect with me, I ask them about him and they won’t answer much, I’ve asked for his number they say I need to get it myself. No one ever gives me a reason. I know my real dad didn’t treat my mom right. I know they had there reasons of not staying together. I don’t know what or why I didn’t ever like going with my father. And now here I am, 30 years old wondering after numerous times of trying to contact him why he won’t answer or even just say we shouldn’t talk or anything. I have 3 kids, a family. Truthfully I just want to know what happened. I don’t care if we keep a relationship, it’d be nice truthfully, but if not it’s fine. It sucks feeling like all my family from his side want to see me other than my own father. I know he has two kids with the girl he was dating when he split with my mom, she even knows of my cause she was around when I would visit him on weekends. I truthfully don’t know what he thinks, my mother wouldn’t even need to know that I contact or talk to him because she barely stays in contact with me anyways. Can anyone tell me why I would be just ignored by him after trying numerous times? Should I just let it go an accept the fact I’ll never get that connection or answer? I’m sorry for the long weird post, but when I think about it a lot of things that trigger me stem from this, and truthfully it sucks. Even at 30 years old with a family of my own, I wonder what could have been and why it isn’t.

A college friend of mine was born in Canada (near Toronto), his family moved to the US for his dad’s job in the 90s and he eventually got his citizenship here too so he has dual citizenship in both countries, and travels between them both a lot, visiting family and friends whenever he wants to. Just has to keep two passports.

I’ve always been curious: what’s it like to have dual citizenship between two places? Is it hard to maintain or actually pretty easy? Any major cons to it? What are some benefits to officially belonging to two countries in the world?

Anyone here done this?

EDIT: typo in my title. Meant to say “dual”

My brother (34m) is a weeb through and through. I(31F) am too but not at the same level. He has a low wage job he tolerates so he can go home and do hobbies, video games/anime/camping/maybe some art. He doesn't have any long term friends that he talks to often besides myself and my husband, but we live 2 hours away and have a baby, are probably going to make more so its getting harder to make time to hang out with him. We have another friend we see maybe twice a year. He also has OCD so it's hard to tell how much of his life is governed by it and how much is just his preference.

So my question is for all the nerds and weebs. What in your life makes you feel happy and fulfilled? Are your hobbies enough?

I did my first two amends/apologies. I think I did okay but also, am afraid I still somehow made it about myself. It’s two people I had not talked to in a long while, but they were great friends to me when I was going through a lot and acted like the main character in the friendship. They were stronger and more mature and could handle me. But now that I’m at their stage, I’m feel very remorseful of my many years with them. I know it may not do a thing. But I just didn’t realize how shitty it would feel. I guess that’s my pence for how I treated and made them feel for many years.

Although both of our families are very nice people, they are pretty introverted and have probably only spent time together a few times in 20 years. I was wondering if this was weird or common.

The hoped-for discussion here is more about "results that Reddit delivers" than a critique to the platform's individual features or design choices. (I think the answer might have some differences between a grown-up's perspective and a younger redditor's, so asking it in this sub.)

As an example of something positive it did (and what sparked the question) was my musing about how much more I know about younger peoples' struggles of the day to have the sort of life that I as an older person kind of took for granted when I was their age. I had a decent reasonable-paying job in my mid-20's and could afford the down-payment on a house. Reddit's helped me learn that this is nowhere near as easy now, and I'm probably more aware and more sympathetic toward it that than I otherwise might have been. So kudos to Reddit for housing an inter-generational perspective on some issues.

As a bad thing, it sometimes rewards people who argue in bad faith. I've seen where my own comments were replied to with a deliberate and very inaccurate context and it's too late for any "that's not what I said at all" reply to actually be seen.

Wondering what you folks think are the goods and bads of Reddit from this sort of angle.

Basically the title.

Edit: thanks to all for your comments and answers and upvotes. I'm glad I'm not alone in this.

I need a helpful reframe because I am having a hard time being happy about this. Here is a little background. My MIL started dating Guy when I was pregnant. When my daughter was born Guy was promptly Papa Guy and there was a forced blended family where his children became aunts and uncles and Guy’s grandkids became my child’s cousins. My husband and I were not appreciative of this forced dynamic as we had met him 1 time before our child was born… we communicated our feelings and preferences but they just keep parading the illusion of a Brady bunch that is far from the truth. We brought it up again last year and an explosive argument ensued where my MIL asked what if they got married. We stated that doesn’t really change anything because he is HER partner… His family has a lot of complications of a severely sensitive nature that I won’t get into. There is also the fact that my MIL is very well off financially and we have witnessed her generosity on pretty extreme levels. It’s her money, her choice what she does. However, I foresee major complications down the road regarding estates, insurances, medical decisions…. There is also the overstepping of boundaries where he has inserted himself, encouraged by my MIL, in a fatherly role though we have asked for a separation multiple times. I’m concerned because he is going to be involved in all things, decisions, plans, trips, holidays…. And he is an aggressive organizer, unyielding, controlling, intense…. They are so happy in their bizarre codependence on each other, and they love each other. I know I SHOULD be happy but I am dreading this union.

Since I don't go to the bars or gossip(was never into gossip)anymore I hear from zero so called friends. But if they need something they call asking me how are you doing then bammmmm can you do me a favor! Try to make knew friends just doesn't seem to work for some reason!! People always say they love me and I'm the life of the party and love being around me.But I'm never invited anywhere nor does anyone one call to check on me . I'm always reaching out or offering to lend a hand and I always make sure everyone is included if we are with a crowd. I've made a few friends but after a while boom they are gonna or just ignoring me! My husband said they are jealous and I take the attention off of them and I'm a well kept person!But I call bs cause I'd never make anyone feel less. I always make sure to make everyone smile and tell them how nice they look and I always make everyone feel special!! SO WHATS WRONG WITH ME ?

Multiple times I saw student loans forgiveness either be attempted or talked about. One time I think it was attempted and it was struck down by courts.

Well, my question is if student loan forgiveness can be struck down by courts, then why was PPP loan forgiveness allowed and legal and not struck down either?

I am not talking about the corruption and fraud around the PPP loans that was obviously going on. That is another discussion.

I mean specifically legitimate PPP loans. How is is legal that those could be given out to business and be forgiven?

They are both loans backed by the government. Yet one is forgiven and another is struck down as not allowed to occur.

Can someone please educate me? I am not trolling when I ask this either, I really fail to understand why one is allowed and not the other.

I want to share my experience working with a Chinese boss. Did you know how much some Chinese employers look down on Filipinos? I worked for them during the pandemic, and their business wasn’t even registered under their name—it was under the name of a relative in the US, but they were the real owners. The business was listed under three different names, and they only declared around ₱50,000 to ₱100,000 monthly income to the government, even though they earned millions every day.

They were also involved in under-the-table deals with the BIR and would regularly bribe local authorities. The police and even representatives from the DENR would visit weekly to collect bribes.

Their employees in *** M***, R*** were paid only ₱250 a day, and they specifically hired people who were uneducated—those who couldn’t read or write. If someone got injured, they would only give ₱50, saying it was for mefenamic acid or amoxicillin.

What’s worse, they deducted SSS contributions from their employees’ salaries but never remitted them. As a result, the workers couldn’t apply for loans or benefits. It was heartbreaking to hear how they insulted the workers, calling them things like “utak baboy” (pig brains) when scolding them.

As for my role, I worked as an accounting and administrative staff—basically, an all-around employee. Looking back, it was an incredibly toxic and exploitative environment.

Hi, I just want to vent. Since July 2024, my partner has been out of work. He said he felt drained from his previous job, and I completely understood. If his mental health was suffering, I didn’t want him to stay in that toxic environment.

At first, I was okay with it. He stayed at home, helping out by doing chores like cleaning and laundry, and spent some of his time playing games. Then he got into gambling. At first, it wasn’t too bad—he even won ₱100,000. I told him to stop while he was ahead and start looking for work, but he didn’t listen.

Eventually, he lost all his winnings, including my salary, which I hadn’t even touched yet. It reached a point where he started borrowing from loan apps, and when he couldn’t pay them back, they began harassing him with threatening calls. To help him out, I used up our savings of ₱60,000.

I even enrolled him in a freelancing academy, hoping it would give him new opportunities. He got a client but ended up losing the contract because they couldn’t agree on a schedule. Now, he’s still looking for work, but my patience is running out.

I’m honestly torn. Should I keep enduring this?

Aggravating day today. Husband and I are in our late 60s. He is fully retired and receives social security. I continue to work and bring in the lion’s share of our income. I manage and pay all the bills. I juggle the check book. If he wants to buy something, he usually just asks “can we afford X?” Well yes, technically we can afford lots of things if we don’t worry about the bills coming due in the next few weeks. And if we forget about all the other things that are on our mutual wish list. Everything that we spend money on today reduces money available tomorrow.

so today we were vehicle shopping. I am generally “the negotiator” because I’m good at it. The dealer didn’t want to pay what our trade in is worth, and didn’t want to come down on the vehicle we wanted to buy. I told my husband if they don’t budge again, it’s time for us to go. Well, evidently they think we are too cheap, so they said they didn’t agree with our numbers. So we said thanks, nice knowing you, and left.

the drive home was in silence. For 3 hours he has not spoken, obviously upset that we didn‘t just pay what they wanted and make the deal. Overpaying for a vehicle is not smart!! And I have done my research about what a vehicle is worth and the trade in values for ours! If the dealer thinks they can make more money from another buyer, that‘s fine! It just does not work for us (Me). I’m the one that has to squeeze the budget and re-juggle everything to make it all fit. AND I’M THE ONE STILL WORKING BRINGING IN THE $!!.

AAarrrgghh! Rant over.

Please discuss.

(Will edit after a bit with what some of the "inputs" are, in my observation. Didn't want to steer the conversation too much.)

Edit after a day: a lot of the comments and corresponding voting seem to be coming from people who aren't actually reading it and only see those magical letters "wfh" and think this is an argument for 100% in-office and supporting its polar opposite.

It's not. It's absolutely not.

I've seen some posts on this sub about people making late stage career changes so I thought this might be a good place to ask. I'm making this post on behalf of my mom who is in her late 50's, who recently confessed to me that she's looking to get a second job. She's been working retail my entire life, and this would simply just be another retail or even food service position on top of her current position at Walmart. I know she hates it, but I also know some of our family back in El Salvador is relying on her, and she isn't awfully close to being able to retire either.
Now that the groundwork is laid, I wanna ask if it is legitimately too late for her to get an associates or something of the like and to find a job that pays more than roughly 20 an hour? This isn't something she's really considered, I think school is an intimidating idea to her, but I think it would be the best bet for her if feasible. If she was to go back to school, would it really be feasible to find a position with a somewhat decent salary, or is her age going to prohibit her? Is that gonna be an immense road block for employers, or would this be a worthwhile investment for her to make? A community college in our county offers a lot of degrees that could lead to 60k+ salary positions(Healthcare/Health Science), which would likely be enough of a growth to satisfy the growing need for 2 jobs.
Sorry if this is the wrong sub to be posting this, I don't really use reddit.

YMMV depending on industry and business model of course, but in general, does your workload/busy work rate decrease over the course of the week right up to Thanksgiving? Having worked in retail, I realize this is actually the CRAZIEST time of year for most and Friday…is war helmet day, proverbially speaking, for most retail employees.

In my example, being in IT, we usually see things slow WAY down by Wednesday and stay entirely dead until the following Monday since all our customers and users are wrapping up for the holiday and some even just take the whole week off.

So by Wednesday, we’re all caught up, tickets are closed or as updated as they can be, and we’re basically just chatting with each other, maybe ordering in some pizza for the holidays, straightening up the office and our desks, or doing little minor work things we never get time to do until the boss lets us leave early.

One of my previous employers even let us setup a spare projector on a cart and some speakers and project Christmas movies on the white wall of our office since it wasn’t a public building. (Chevy Chase in Christmas Vacation anyone?)

What is this week typically like for you? Is it your busiest and most intense time of year? No change? Quietest?

Went to the urgent care yesterday to get stitches and was told to make an appointment with my primary care to have them removed in 7-10 days. This morning I called my pcp and the receptionist I talked to said I had to go back to the place where I got the stitches in order to have them removed. Is this normal? My co-pay for urgent care is double that for my pcp, so I really would prefer to go to my pcp for things that aren't actually urgent. Should I call back and complain?

Hi, i moved into a new appt yesterday. Im on the 8th floor. My room is to the road side. Even if im on 8th floor, i can hear the traffic a lot, including the walk sign sound. I couldnt even sleep last night. I saw on amazon that noise cancelling foam panels and noise cancelling curtains. I want to know if this actually works before buying. Also, can u pls suggest some things that actually work - along with the links if possible. Pls .