All right, sexy people, what have you been up to? Let’s hear all about the good, bad, funny, weird, fun, and amazing things that have happened!

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My wife (40F) and I (40M) recently discovered that my wife is extremely turned on by me having sex with other women, either with her in the room or not, as long as she plans the setup. I think it's more of a stag/vixen situation, rather than cuckquean, if I have my terms correct. Anyways -- I have a work trip coming up where she's not joining, but she found a willing lady (mid to late 30s) on a dating app for me to play with when I'm on my trip and who's excited to participate, knowing that my wife organised it all. It's very exciting for all of us, to say the least. My wife wants to know all the details from both of us after this has all taken place.

We've been married for a little under 10 yrs and dated exclusively for at least 4-5 years before that so I haven't had any other sexual partners for some time. Do you all have any advice for me ahead of the meet up and for during the hook up to make sure that it all goes well? I'm a bit nervous but I think it will be a fun experience, as it's something that both my wife and I have talked about extensively and are comfortable with it happening.

..but then doesn't do it.

Help, internet. I am genuinely so lost and confused and I'm seeking perspectives or information on what my partner may be feeling but just won't say to me.

When we first got together, he never went down on me or touched my clit for years. I wasn't that worried about it because I have low standards and have never had someone who was exited about or wanting to do those things to me. I faked orgasms from PIV because I didn't want him to feel bad.

About four years in, sex started dropping off, and we started talking about preferences. For the past two years, I've been explaining to him how I basically cannot cum from PIV alone (it's happened maybe twice), and that I really need to feel considered/wanted/taken care of in the bedroom. At one point I set a "you need to make me cum at least 75% of the time" rule, but that never got followed.

It's complicated because I don't have to have an orgasm to have good sex, and there are definitely times I'm having sex for his sake and don't particularly want to be touched or to cum, and I've tried explaining that; but it's like he takes it as a carte blanche "I don't really care about orgasming", like a get out of jail free card 🙄

He doesn't never touch me or do oral now, but it's maybe once a month (compared to sex anywhere from 1-3 times a week), it's almost always something I have to ask for, and 99% of the time it's me touching him or doing oral for him at the same time.

The frustrating thing is that he swears up and down that he loves it all! He loves touching me and going down on me. But he is totally unable to articulate why he just.. doesn't. Last night we had yet another discussion about it, just me trying to understand what's wrong, what I'm doing wrong, what I could change to make things easier. And he won't tell me a thing. He said "it's not like I recoil from you" as if that's supposed to make me feel like he enjoys pleasing me?

I try to be giving in bed. I do a lot of oral and I give decent hand jobs (though not as much as I used to because it's hard to keep doing stuff like this when it feels so uneven). I don't starfish, I'm big on foreplay and love to touch and kiss him. I am enthusiastic most of the time.

I worry it's a hygiene issue, but even on days when we shower together before sex he doesn't offer. I certainly wouldn't expect him to want to touch me if I hadn't showered, but not taking that opportunity when I'm fresh and clean makes me wonder? I also stopped shaving because he told me it didn't matter to him and I get awful ingrown hairs, but it's not like I was getting tons of head back when I was freshly shaven regularly.

At this point I just don't know what to do, and he won't tell me.. it's like he just wants me to give up talking about it or asking for it so he can stop worrying about it without feeling like a bad partner or not good in bed.

But it's making me crazy! If he would just tell me that he doesn't want to touch me, fine! I'm never going to ask someone to do something sexually they don't like. I just wish he would stop swearing up and down how much he loves it and then.. not do it.

Help!

I'm not sure about the physiology of everything, but basically there are only a few positions where my girlfriend doesn't experience pain from me going too deep inside her, missionary and doggy, but her legs have to be positioned a certain way. When she's on top, she says sometimes it hurts and when she's on her stomach the same thing. Her doc said her vagina was curved, if I understood correctly.

Has anyone experienced this or have any thoughts? I would like to try some different positions to mix things up but I also obviously don't want her to be uncomfortable.

In 14 years of our monogamous married life , sex has always been a pendular phenomenon. It keeps on swinging from frequent sex to periods of absences. As we are now in our mid to late forties, hubs at 49 and me at 41, the no sex period seems to be getting longer. The testing of our metabolic profile , hormone levels and fitness status are pretty good in him as well as me. Agree that our work schedules are erratic. He sometimes is back almost at 12 midnight and I am a working lady too who needs to be up early. We have tried even scheduling sex , it enthusiastically worked for a while but then like every novelty it faded too. That leaves the both of us indulging more in solo sex . These fluctuations in our sexual activity has always been something that we are not able to straighten out. There are months of good sex and then a big lull How do couples our age manage to maintain a consistent thread.

All right, sexy people, what have you been up to? Let’s hear all about the good, bad, funny, weird, fun, and amazing things that have happened!

My (36M) wife (38F) learned recently that she really enjoys watching me fuck my bad dragon male masturbator. It was a hot experience for both of us - we started off watching porn together and a few min in I start playing with my toy, facing away from her so she could see me thrusting. She shifted her attention to me while using her vibrator and came in minutes. Using the bad dragon is ok from my perspective but can be kinda hard to manage at times due to small size. I had the thought of getting a torso masturbator that’s a little bigger and simulate a threesome a little more. Anybody else try this? Any positives/negatives you got from the experience that you weren’t necessarily expecting? My preferred body type is bbw so any recommendations on reputable vendors with torso dolls like this are appreciated. A full size doll is out of the question due to cost and storage.

I am: 36 years old, happily married, 2 kids. I am currently taking propranolol and Imipramine for headache prophylaxis and Sertraline for anxiety/depression.

My sexual history: as a child, I learned to 'lean' aka, put my hands down by my clitoris and then lean on my hands thus giving me a good feeling down there. It was a habit my mom had to break me out of, so I didn't do it at school.

I accidentally discovered porn probably around 8 or 9 - I was on my family's computer and discovered media files on windows media player. This led me to looking at porn, sometimes a lot, sometimes infrequently. This continues to this day - sometimes I seek it out whenever I have the privacy. Sometimes I don't look at it for months. I seek out lots of different stuff - lesbian, anal, gangbangs, CNC, fisting, etc. Just recently I've gotten into reading erotica, which I've really been enjoying.

I lost my virginity at 17 to my first boyfriend. Our relationship didn't last very long but we did stay as friends, and still hooked up on and off the first few years. From there I had a couple of random hookups and then 2 more serious relationships. I met my husband at 20 and began dating when I was 22.

With all of my sexual encounters, I have never had an orgasm. I've faked a lot. My husband is aware that I've never had an orgasm. He feels bad/sad for me and is open to any suggestions I have. He does feel like I probably need to figure some things out with self-play and then bring those techniques or w/e into our bedroom.

I have masturbated a lot of my life. I have dildos, vibrators, anal toys, I've tried creams (both OTC and Rx) that are supposedly supposed to help with orgasming. I enjoy the feeling of being 'full' (this is the main appeal of sex for me, for whatever reason). I enjoy clitoral play and I know that that is where most women's orgasms come from, so I do tend to focus on that. I've had great experiences but....I just haven't been able to get the big O.

I've thought to myself "maybe I have had an orgasm and I just didn't realize it"....but from everything I read about it, that's probably not the case? It's like I am making my way to a cliff, feeling really good with my husband or myself, but..I just can't jump off that cliff.

I consider myself a very sexual person and it's driving me crazy that I cannot orgasm. I know my medications don't help. I'd like to get off them - I'm not on very high dosages. But that does take time to wean off them, and then I have to see if my health issues (depression, daily headaches) are manageable without.

Please help. Happy to answer any questions.

We are completely comfortable asking or trying now but earlier in our relationship we finally tried it was funny but dumb on how long we waited to go for it. We both wanted it lol.

All right, sexy people, what have you been up to? Let’s hear all about the good, bad, funny, weird, fun, and amazing things that have happened!

About a month ago I started taking effexor and it's been having both positive and negative side effects.

For me I haven't had a drop in my libedo really, but I have been struggling now for the past week with deceased sensitivity and a lot of trouble reaching orgasm.

My wife and I have a very active sex life, and I still really enjoy sex with her and get off on making her feel good. But, it's also frustrating to have sex regularly without orgasming. I'm working on just focusing on enjoying the connection, but I'm wondering what other things people have tried to help with medical issues like this?

Every week, we offer this thread as a way for people to ask simple/basic questions from the sub’s readership.

Post topics that typically are removed from the main feed – polling-style questions, common topics questions, etc. – are generally allowed in here. Story posts however do not belong here.

The thread stays pinned throughout the week for people’s convenience. Ask away!

I am a mid 40s man and have recently become sexually active (beyond a long term monogamous relationship). I am going to get my first HPV vaccine dose tomorrow, and from what I understand, it is 3 doses over 6 months. I am trying to decide if I should wait 6 months before having any more partners, or if that is overkill... I know this is a really bad place for medical advice but I guess I am interested in some opinions?

I walk with a limp and have no physical limitations. I am physically weaker than most. You all are more open and respectful than .

My larger issue is PTSD. I am on meds and in therapy. I have improved a lot. I need advice on how to disclose my PTSD to potential partners. It's boundary setting and helping someone understand my unique needs. I would do the same for others because it's respect.

I have had more than one person go much faster than I wanted and it would give me a PTSD attack. Think an intense panic attack.

I (36F) have had a dwindiling libido for a while now but it's almost non-existent at this point. Husband is very understanding and doesn't push. We do cuddle daily so physical contact isn't an issue. Relationship is great, so no complaints there. Together for 10 years, married for 5.,

I've noticed in past long-term relationships that my libido has always lowered over time and I've heard it's quite common with women. Currently we maybe average being intimate once every 1-2 months. I'd like to increase that but not force myself. Husband has mentioned he misses being intimate with me and I do miss it to.
Mentally for me I do enjoy it when we are intimate but I often see the foreplay as a hassle but a necessity to get me ready.

What have other women done to increase their libido?

Extra info:
- I'm on hormonal birth control. Have been on it for 20 years without issues but two years had to switch to a different one (depo provera). Husband is open to getting snipped but I'm the one hesitant.
- Childfree, no pets. Housework is equally and fairly distributed.
- Both have well paying relaxing jobs. I'm studying next to my job and while stressful it's not too bad.
- Last year I had some mental health issues that I got treatment for and have now been fixed.
- We are both pretty vanilla. No need to go outside of that and I've experimented in the past and happy to stay vanilla.

All right, sexy people, what have you been up to? Let’s hear all about the good, bad, funny, weird, fun, and amazing things that have happened!

Bf dont want look at my naked body.

My boyfriend and Ive been together in a middistance relationship for a year. We see eachother every second weekend. When we meet it is lovely and sex is good. There is one thing I find hard to deal with which is my boyfriends lack of interest in my body outside the darkness of a bedroom which is making me feel very undesired.

When we shower together he dont want to look at me. I've brought it up and I have told him that how bad that makes me feel. He has explained himself that he is shy in that way and dont consider showering as sexual situation. I have suffered earlier of bodyshame and I try overcome that by making myself go into situations where I dont hide my body and him not even looking at me not to mention touch me in the shower makes me feel so unwanted.

He never makes a move touching me sexually outside the bedroom unless I ask him to or put his hands on my breasts. If we are watching a movie together on the sofa and I have just a towel on he dont have the urge to touch me under the towel. In the bedroom he always likes to have sex with the lights off. He doesnt look at me pussy or breasts with the lights on. I confronted him on that last time we had sex and told that it would make me feel more desired and sexy if he did. He told me it is not me it is him, that he is not that kind of person who likes to look at "body parts" straight quote.

I find it really hard to shake of these thoughts in my head that he is not attracted to me. I also find it hard to get really aroused when I have these thoughts in my head that I am not desired. Am I being too needy? Am I asking too much when otherwise he is a caring boyfriend who isnt selfish in bed and treats me with respect. Are there really guys who dont feel the need to look at their womans naked bodies or have their hands all over her body every chance they get?

My wife and I both really enjoy the nights where we take things extra slow and especially take the time to “pamper” ourselves before we have sex. We thought a whole night(3-4 hours)dedicated to this would be a lot of fun! Here are the things that we already do that my wife really enjoys. I would love any ideas on how to make these better or new ideas to incorporate.

-Shower together(any suggestions to make this better, though it is already great?!), then dry off together, lotion each other down and put on pre-warmed robes.

-massage(sometimes sensual/erotic, sometimes just a simple massage)

-do something traditionally spa related together(masks, foot bath, etc)

-play sex related games in bed which is mostly couples phone apps that we really like, but we have some sexy board and card based games too

-watch porn! We both like watching porn but haven’t found a genre that we both really like. Any tips to figure that out would be great!

I am generally game for trying(most) things at least twice sexually. My wife is a little more reserved, so I don’t want to surprise her with anything, in case that was a suggestion. I like to talk things out with her before to make sure she is comfortable and has time to sit with the idea before making a decision.

So, thoughts?!?! Really would like to wow my wife, so I would appreciate any suggestions.

Hey! I am 31M and my wife is also 31.

We have been dating for 12 Years and been married for 5. No kids yet.

However, the sex life is not what it was 10 years ago. The frequency has reduced to about 2-3 time a month. Is that too less?

Secondly, one of my favourite parts about sex is eating her out (and also being eaten). We used to do oral a few times a month before we introduced sex toys in our life. However, over the last year, she’s become apprehensive about oral (giving and receiving both). It’s not like she doesn’t enjoy it when we do it but there’s some resistance in starting. I can usually make her cum more than once in oral sex. (Highest is 5 times on the go!)

I discussed with her and she said that she has started feeling oral is a little dirty. Like it’s not the best place for the mouth to be in. She gets worked up about how she smells and simply doesn’t allow me to do down. I suggested we take a shower together every time we want to have oral. But, is that what all couples do? Shower before oral sex every time? We used to have impromptu oral too but it feels like it’s been ages!

Third is that I love to experiment including roleplay, soft domination, teasing, new positions etc. and try a variety but she’s been quite vanilla of late. We did a sex calibration test but it wasn’t too useful as most of her things were no or maybe.

Lastly, we love each other a lot. We are not looking to add partners even though we attended a swingers party just for the voyeur. We got off on the idea of dry humping other people the night before the party. In the party, we kept our hands to each other only and mostly watched other people.

Would appreciate any tips to increase our sex drive and understand what other couples in similar scenarios.

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Recently things have heated up in the bedroom with my gf (31f) and I (35m), which has been fantastic. Been together for 7 years or so but went through a dry spell earlier this year, have a young kid and both working long hours, but since summer things in the bedroom have come back marvelously with a vengeance. Aside from the welcomed fact that we’ve been having sex almost daily as of late, there’s been instances where some new things have been happening, particularly when we’ve had a few drinks. She’s taken a keen interest in my ass, started with some rimming and has progressed to some finger play. Admittedly I’ve enjoyed both, but the sudden inclusion of this is somewhat out of character. She enjoys the same although we’ve never actually done full anal.

Fast forward a couple weeks, I went to use her phone to send myself a few pictures she had, but when I opened it I came face to face with some hardcore gay porn. I wasn’t mad at her for watching it, but I was taken aback since I had no clue she watched porn, let alone that genre. This led me to thinking - is this a new thing for her? Is this why she’s suddenly taken an interest in my back door? Does she want me to do those things to her? I tried talking to her about it but she was very uncomfortable so I laid off the topic, we need to and will work on communication in that department, but it’ll probably be slow going which is fine. I’m straight but I’d be open to trying things with her, especially if she has a kink or fantasizes about stuff. In the meantime, I’m left curious and have so many questions! I know we need to improve communication there and we’ll get there, but wanted to see whether anyone had some input in the meantime!

Every week, we offer this thread as a way for people to ask simple/basic questions from the sub’s readership.

Post topics that typically are removed from the main feed – polling-style questions, common topics questions, etc. – are generally allowed in here. Story posts however do not belong here.

The thread stays pinned throughout the week for people’s convenience. Ask away!

My (42m) wife (42f) and I are going through a sexual renaissance. After almost 2 decades of a dead bedroom, a 1 week stint of saying we wanted an open relationship and then shutting it down because feelings, we've now essentially rediscovered each other as sexual beings for the past 4.5 months. Well, this is really the first time my wife has discovered that for herself, but i digress...

We still have to work through lots of emotions and negotiations about this, but lately I've been insatiable and she's pretty close to that level. Porn & masturbation doesn't cut it for me anymore, and it gets in the way of being with her. I just want to be near & touching her all the time. I back off when she says no, its not like I ask every day (well, this week maybe I have), and she said that she's feeling more sexual than ever too and is generally rearing to go.

The advice I need: as a middle aged person, it's very distracting to be horny All. The. Time. I'm not 16. I have a job, coach our 11yo in a robotics team, play in bands at night...I can't spend all day horny & distracted. But I also want to focus my sexual & emotional energy on my wife so just rubbing one out is counter productive, even if it lets me focus more on my job for a while longer. Has another middle-aged or older person of either gender experienced this, and how do I keep up our amazing sex life without reverting to too much self-pleasure, or just being uncontrollably horny all the time?

All right, sexy people, what have you been up to? Let’s hear all about the good, bad, funny, weird, fun, and amazing things that have happened!

Just over a year and a half ago, my husband suddenly and tragically passed away. We had a great sex life and I felt like we were really starting to get to a place where I was fully comfortable.

Fast forward a year and a half, I'm dating a new wonderful guy and he makes me feel comfortable and sexy during all of our sexual encounters. So much so, that I'm squirting almost every time he makes me orgasm.

Last night after a particularly teasing filled encounter, I squirt a LOT; more than I ever have. He also never had a girl squirt with him, so this is new to us.

A part of me worries that I'm just peeing all over him and we are thinking it's squirting. I know squirting includes some urine, but how do I know if it's just peeing? Or do I just not worry about it since we both are enjoying it? I usually try to pee right before sex/fooling around and then right after (to avoid UTIs) and after I always also pee, it's not like my bladder is empty.

Am I just worrying to much?

And, no, I don't mean XXX videos. Me: 43, F, cis, poly but only 1 partner at this point. Him: 40, M, cis, hetero and monogamous. No kids, 3 crazy dogs, both work 40+ hr/week in caregiving professions. He's almost a decade clean from heavy drugs. He cleaned up without the help of a support group, a doctor, medication, or even his family's support in most cases. He grew up in some of the worst situations a kid could and his ADHD went basically ignored. I know-- I KNOW-- a lot of this isn't something he could help before... but maybe I just don't matter to him enough when compared to what looks like a game addiction or a work addiction to try to meet me part way.

We've been experiencing a slow bedroom death that started some time after his mother moved out of the house part-way through the pandemic shut down, but before he was shot last autumn. In the intervening time we've experienced SIGNIFICANT stressors, including multiple family and pet deaths and job problems for both of us, and then he was victim of a drive-by shooting in the autumn, so he's still physically recovering after having one of his legs basically turned into kindling.

I do not and have never expected him to do feats of athleticism in the bedroom. I'd just like him to be around in some capacity while I get off, maybe even help me orgasm Before or without anything penetrative every now and then. But the enthusiasm he had for sex when we met almost 7 years ago isn't even in the building any more. He seems to feel entitled to it, but he'll never be demanding if I'm not feeling it at that specific time. We both masturbate at least 3/week and there's a fair bit of openness about it. And, tbf, I'm hard to get off (trauma in the past, and therapy too.)

Sensory Play really helps-- but he can't or won't participate. Since oral doesn't help me, he just doesn't seem to give a shit.

Anyway, while he can't or won't focus on getting me off, or stick around for 10 minutes while I try to do it myself, even every third or fourth time we have sex-- before or after penetration, I don't care-- he puts up at least 4 hr/day every day of the week on a console based MMO that he can concentrate on so intensely during that time that the dog crying to go out doesn't even register with him at all.

What led to this post are 2 remarks he's made over the last month where he's "joked" that my vibrator makes him feel "like a cuck". I've been trying to talk about the amount of time and energy he spends on that console since his mother moved out and we rearranged the house so he had a room separate from our bedroom to game in and nothing improves...

then he makes shitty "jokes" about me cheating on him with a 4" piece of rubberized plastic with a motor in it.

I'd be pissed if I weren't so deeply hurt.

I don't do ultimatums, so there won't be a "either you learn to fuck better or I'm leaving" confrontation at this point. There will be a "You don't have the right to call it 'cheating' for using a vibrator when I've felt neglected in the bedroom for this long and you've burnt out 2 consoles with your daily gaming," conversation. What I hope someone here can get on my radar is any kind of book, blog, YouTube channel, therapy source, etc. that will help me communicate clearly that I have an unmet need in our relationship that I want to see change, and that his console time is part of the problem. Tia.

I've tried face sitting probably between 20-30 times, but never have gotten much physical pleasure from it because I can't figure out how it's supposed to work.

For me to get proper clit access my lips have to be held spread open. If not held open, they'll pop back in place and direct clit access isn't possible. But this isn't possible with face sitting because my thighs are in the way of the hands and I need my hands to hold the bed headboard for balance. So it ends up being non-direct clit access the whole time.

Flexing my thighs is the opposite of relaxing. When flexing my quads gets tiring, I switch to leaning back and flexing my butt and abs instead to let my quads rest. But I'll never orgasm because of this tension. I'm like hovering and trying to keep still so my clit is situated. people say on Reddit, "don't worry, just sit!" But if I truly do that, I end up sitting on his chest on my butt thus losing clit-mouth connection, or if I sit forward with relaxation, the pain on my labia from the weight makes it not enjoyable.

People say they grind while face sitting, but how do you avoid grinding on the teeth? is the grinding done on closed lips? I just don't get it.

My clit is up front, so to put my clit in his mouth, I have to lean way forward, but this tires my abs because I don't want to crush his nose, and the angle of the mouth is more dowanward facing than ideal for direct clit access. It's like the angle allows for licking the clit hood, but not under the clit hood.

How are we all doing this? Is it just harder because of my anatomy?

All right, sexy people, what have you been up to? Let’s hear all about the good, bad, funny, weird, fun, and amazing things that have happened!

Every week, we offer this thread as a way for people to ask simple/basic questions from the sub’s readership.

Post topics that typically are removed from the main feed – polling-style questions, common topics questions, etc. – are generally allowed in here. Story posts however do not belong here.

The thread stays pinned throughout the week for people’s convenience. Ask away!