Every week, we offer this thread as a way for people to ask simple/basic questions from the sub’s readership.

Post topics that typically are removed from the main feed – polling-style questions, common topics questions, etc. – are generally allowed in here. Story posts however do not belong here.

The thread stays pinned throughout the week for people’s convenience. Ask away!

Wife bought this, thought it looked like fun-

https://www.edenfantasys.com/male-sex-toys/penis-extenders-and-sleeves/magnum-vibrating-ring

I tried it on and it seems pretty dang tight. The ring is 30mm and from measuring I think I should have like a 45mm. My online searching shows only one size available. Are these meant to stretch and be worn tight? Should I measure like you do with a ring?

Checking more for safety issues.

Hey everyone!

I (44m) recently started dating someone new (47f), and she is the first woman I've dated since my divorce about a year go. Everything has been so fun and exciting; her sexual drive and desire far exceeds anyone I've ever dated, and it's refreshing and stunning change from my (somewhat) dead-bedroom marriage.

A few things to note first; she has had a hysterectomy, and occasionally has dryness issues (which we just resolve using lube)

The issue is; I'm finding myself having trouble orgasming during sex with her, especially during the 2nd or 3rd rounds within a 24 hour period. Even the first round after not seeing her for several days take significantly longer than in my last relationship (which was typically under 2 minutes). For subsequent rounds, I just go and go until I'm exhausted, dripping with sweat, both of us are getting sore, and we have to stop... Though it doesn't seem to bother her, it's feels very odd for me, because in nearly all previous relationships, I felt like I had PE. This is the first time in my life I've ever had to 'work' for an orgasm... it's a tiny bit frustrating at the very least, and very curious and odd for me as well.

What could be going on here? Any thoughts, ideas, suggestions, recommendations??

Thanks so much for any guidance you all can provide!

Hello everyone I’m a 30 plus size year old virgin that meet someone and are considering a FWB. He is older than me about 12 years, we are planning to meet soon but need some advice as to what I would prep. We have discussed boundaries and birth control. I do have some sexual trauma and don’t know if I should wait till we meet or drop the bomb over text. Any advice is great.

My husband's libido or frequency has decreased in the last few years. I'm doing my best to help manage stress and carry the weight / mental load + he feels we are well balanced, when we have discussed that recently.

So I'm trying to figure out how common it is for a seemingly relaxed, relatively unstressed male partner in 40's to slow down to only wanting intimacy every 3-4 days at the most. He says he's very happy with the quality of our encounters, but I'm feeling a little bummed because I'd love to have it more frequently. Not necessarily PIV even, but just sexual play.

I'm trying to do all the things- I've really focused on it for the last 5 months:

-taking care of him with gestures that aren't expected but he appreciates

• providing compliments that are sincere (I'm crazy about him and his brain and his abilities in all aspects of life)
• listening to him with more focus when he shares things about his day
• cooking healthy high protein meals,
• sexting and trying to light the fire, so to speak
• I've sent photos that tease with a preview of spicy lingerie
• I've asked what he'd like to try and enthusiastically incorporated it. I show my desire spontaneously at random times different days (without pressuring for action, we call it simmering) b/c I know he likes to feel desired

-I've been exploring kink and he's been loving that, and says he wants to keep exploring with me

But more days I just wish he was interested in being sexual and intimate together - I really thrive on intimate contact, even if it's just naked cuddling and that's all I get out of it. It helps me destress and feel more intensely connected in our loving marriage.

I'm also in 40's, female, and I'm in good shape physically. He says he's very attracted to me and still in love with me. So is this a libido issue?

Just trying to figure out how to help him. He's not sure, he says he feels like it's just aging happening?

All right, sexy people, what have you been up to? Let’s hear all about the good, bad, funny, weird, fun, and amazing things that have happened!

So I've done a lot of reading (and video watching) about the g-spot. I know how it's described: more of an area than a spot, need to be very turned on before you start stimulating it, one to two knuckles deep, ridged surface, texture of a walnut, size of a pea increasing with stimulation, etc.

I can't feel the texture when I search for it. So that clue is out.

Is it under the public bone, so if you were massaging it you'd basically be sandwhiching it between the fingers and the public bone? Or is it past the public bone where your fingers sink in, any it kind of feels like pressing against a balloon where there's a fair amount of give?

I see conflicting information. On this page for instance, the illustration makes it look like you'd be pressing it into the pubic bone https://www.sexualdiversity.org/sexuality/980.php

But on Kennth Play's video on g-spot stimulation, he says it's past the pubic bone and you can literally see your fingers pressing outward on the g-spot and feel the fingers stimulating the g-spot with a hand on the outside.

Any thoughts? Thanks

My wife (f37) and I (m37) have been married for 13 years, and together since we were 18. In general, our sex life has been pretty good. To date we tend to have sex a few times per week. Until recently, I’d say our communication and non physical intimacy was solid.

However, in the last 6 months or so, my wife has essentially taken all things I have indicated enjoyment with off the table. This includes acts such as me going down on her, certain positions (including many I understood her to enjoy more than me), butt play, and sex at certain times of day. More surprisingly, she has also refused to do things like cuddle in bed and scratch my back, things we have done together almost everyday since we were 18. The common thread is that I have mentioned in various conversations between us that each of these acts of intimacy are things I truly enjoy.

I am not sure what has happened during this period. We have preschool aged kids, which can certainly be taxing on a relationship, but if anything, parenting life has gotten a bit easier as the kids become more self sufficient.

And before anyone suggests it - we have talked at length about this and the frustration it is causing. The summation of those discussions is that nothing is different and I should just be thankful I get to do anything with her at all.

This was not the relationship we had a year ago. We weathered pregnancies, family deaths, pandemic, and major job stress with a strong sex life and good communication. She never held sex as a means of power or manipulation before.

Any thoughts on what’s going on here? Has anyone else experienced this, and if so how did you get through it?

Hi all, looking for help with male anatomy please. I have a new FWB [M35] and it's my first time having a partner that is not cut. A few times, I noticed that after extended foreplay, there's a white deposit below the head when I pull back the foreskin and a bit around the edges of the head. He's healthy, tested negative STI wise, and meticulous about his hygiene and also showers just before sexy times. I've never smelled a foul odor or seen a crumbly texture either; so I doubt it's a yeast infection. I asked him about it, and he said there's no skin rash, itchy or pain sensations when this occurs and that it was normal. I've never seen something similar on my partners who were cut, so this got me curious. I was wondering if pre-cum can "pool" under the foreskin if he gets wet a lot but the head doesn't get exposed in foreplay? Thanks for your help.

Edits: changed wordings around STI status

My partner and I have been together for over a year now. The sex overall is mindblowing every single time, but there are quite a few things that have been bothering me.

This is how we do it - I’m the girly girl, he’s the daddy. The sex is rough. He plays mindgames on me which I reaaallly love. I love the way he degrades me and forcefully slams his cock in my face. I love giving head and I know how much he enjoys it.

So.. Onto the less fun part.

I used to be chubby, and struggled a lot with weight. I started working out and eating healthy last year, lost a good amount of weight and I absolutely love the way I look now. The title might be a bit misleading but I didn’t know how else to put it to words. Here’s the thing: I know I had the best glow-up ever and no one else can tell me otherwise. But it does bother me how I don’t get the same feeling from my partner and I think it’s normal for everyone to feel validated, appreciated or wanted in whatever way. I used to give him so many compliments as he’s the hottest person I’ve ever met and in that regard I feel very lucky to have him (there’s more to that of course), but I told him I stopped giving those as I never got it from him. I think he only started doing so a couple of months ago, but I can’t really believe him for all the reasons I’m going to discuss now.

He has seen some pictures of me of when I used to be chubby and he has made a couple jokes about it. He also has said a couple of times that he thinks my breasts are too small, of which one time he said it jokingly but immediately followed by “kidding kidding kidding”. When he touches my stomach he immediately pulls back his hand as if he’s shocked by the fact that he touched me.

If we do have sex, we usually do it in two positions: Doggy, and on my stomach. My absolute two favorites, and boy does it feel heavenly, but somehow I’m starting to think more and more that we only do these two so he doesn’t have to look at me.

He has never eaten me out (that how you say it?) but then again I told him in the very beginning that most bedpartners I had never could let me cum because I’m all over the place in my head so they need a huge amount of patience and strength in their arm/tongue, as it can take for over an hour for me to have an orgasm. So maybe that’s where I’m at fault. So he usually plays with my nipples whereas I am going full on DJ on my clitoris, and he always tells me afterwards he has made me cum. No. You didn’t. I did.

He only recently started to penetrate me with his fingers, so I guess that’s a good sign and a small step towards improvement. He also asked me a month ago if he can go down on me, to which I was very pleased to hear, but it has never happened so far. He also smears his finger on my body after fingering me, and it’s making me even more uncomfortable.

We also talk about anal sex constantly, but that hasn’t happened either. Half a year ago we had it all planned - I had all tools with me for preparation. He didn’t help me at all. I just laid there next to him stuffing my ass and he just didn’t do anything, and it felt very embarassing. So I quit. When I asked many weeks later about it he told me he wasn’t used to so much prep with other girls, but I can’t help but not believing him.

Side note: He used to be a player. He is not unfamiliar in relationships, but he’s not used to putting in effort for his partners. He fucked around and always had the need to dominate and the women he slept with just needed to comply. In his belief, women were just there to do as he says or wants, women didn’t deserve pleasure other than penetration on his terms, so I guess he isn’t used to returning the favor. Somewhat our roles match and fit well, but I now notice how I’m missing out on a lot and so much potential is being lost. I’m now getting to a point where I don’t even enjoy pleasing him anymore as I know I won’t be getting much in return. That saddens me. And I don’t know how to bring it up. I know it all starts with a conversation and addressing all topics, but I’m scared to burst in tears and getting disappointed. So, lovely Redditors, any advice on how to approach this?

Looking for help with lubrication, like lube brands or other tricks.

I love giving oral to my partner, but the past two months it's been a struggle. I have started new medication, and it gives me dry mouth like nothing I've ever experienced before. Less spit, AND poorer quality. Unfortunately, it's for a chronic condition, so I'm going to be on the meds for a long time/life.

It just makes it really disappointing when I try to blow him, because he'll just get sore and we have to stop. If I can get to deep throating it's usually not a problem, but we don't even get that far. I also used to use my spit for handjobs, but can't anymore, so now I feel like I have lost two important favorites for foreplay.

I've tried lubes, but the water based ones that I've tried all taste like absolute shit. The ones with added fake taste are even worse because then I can't even taste him.

Does anyone have tips for lubes that do not taste like shit, or other tricks I can try when giving oral, to make it wetter? Or ways to fix my dry mouth. Any and all tips are welcome.

All right, sexy people, what have you been up to? Let’s hear all about the good, bad, funny, weird, fun, and amazing things that have happened!

I’m a bit embarrassed to ask this, but I need help with some scripts/ the right words to say here.

I’m higher libido than my wife, and often take some ‘alone time’ for myself in our spare bedroom when she is tired, stressed, seems not interested in intercourse, etc. I’d like some advice on how best to extend a low-stakes invitation to join in, in any capacity.

What I want to express is: I’m in need of an orgasm and I’d love to have company. Want to kiss while I do it? Snuggle? Watch? Help? Join in? Or if you just aren’t into it that’s cool too.

Usually I’ll say something like “Hey, uh, I’m gonna take some time in the Guest Room for a bit after we get the kids to bed…” but I guess I just don’t know how to turn that into an invitation.

Secondarily, another script I need help with is normalizing this out of the guest room: I’m in need of an orgasm tonight, is it cool if I masturbate in here [out room] or do you want me to go to the guest room? And are you interested in joining in any way?

The way I’ve written above just feels too direct and uncomfortable for me. Suggested ways to try phrasing these questions appreciated!

Every week, we offer this thread as a way for people to ask simple/basic questions from the sub’s readership.

Post topics that typically are removed from the main feed – polling-style questions, common topics questions, etc. – are generally allowed in here. Story posts however do not belong here.

The thread stays pinned throughout the week for people’s convenience. Ask away!

Okay I (31F) suggested a handjob to my husband (32M) instead of a blowjob. I have a lot of jaw tension (similar to TMJ symptoms) and it makes BJs uncomfortable when the pain is worse. I dont offer handjobs often because he has complained before that he has to shower afterwards and he doesn’t prefer them to BJs.

Similar reactions have happened many times…it leads to the cold shoulder and something reminiscent of pouting. I don’t understand and I’m hoping for a different perspective on this.

Hi all, I've (36 F) purchased hubby (47 M) a jar of 100 message capsules for valentines day. I'm wanting to add little messages and he'd love some that are sex related. Each capsule will be like a gift voucher he can claim on so can I get creative ideas on what you'd write on each one? Can be rude af or g rated too.

Thanks!

I (31F)with autism, am a virgin and i’m curious to know what it feels like to using a dildo. I’ve been masturbating since high school, however I wanted to take it up a notch to feel even more pleasure. I tried using my finger, but it doesn’t arouse me. So I thought maybe a dildo would work, but there’s a slight problem. I live with my family. My family are religious, mainly my parents, my siblings and I don’t go to church anymore and they’re cool with it. None of them know about my “adulterous tendencies.” And I plan to take this secret to my grave! But how do I purchase a dildo without raising suspicion? Where would I hide it? And what should I do if someone finds it? I can’t use Amazon because my family and I share an Amazon prime account. I can’t buy it online because my parents have control of my bank account and will see my card transactions. That’s where I need advice. Any ideas?

All right, sexy people, what have you been up to? Let’s hear all about the good, bad, funny, weird, fun, and amazing things that have happened!

Hi All,

Long story short, my wife (33F) and I (33M) have been together 11 years. We haven’t always nailed it in the sex department, but have had much better communication in the last year or so about things we want, need, are interested in trying, etc.

The one thing I keep coming back to is she said, recounting a conversation she had with her friends, that she “wants a guy to eat her out like he’s starving”. It was clear that this is something I’m not currently doing based on the way she said it (and a short follow up conversation) but I would love to make her feel this way.

I know one answer to this is “ask her!” but I find asking for too much direction can be a turn off for her. Does anyone have any advice as to how one can achieve this goal? In the past I feel like being too aggressive and eager can miss the mark, whereas being too technical and specific can feel unexciting.

Would love to hear people’s thoughts or advice, or anything related really!

Apologies from the outset if this is depressing or upsetting, but I am looking for sensible and compassionate advice because I'm a tad overwhelmed

Around 6 months ago my husband finally came to terms with, accepted and became able to begin to talk about the fact that he was sexually abused by his aunt and a friend of their family when he was very young. Obviously it's been emotionally challenging for him and I have done everything I can think of to support him in every way possible

The thing that I, as his wife, am struggling most with is how to, I don't know quite what the right word is - configure? - this into our intimate life. He's always possessed a strong libido, slightly suppressed at present, more than understandably so, and please be assured this is no issue for me, but he still shows his desire for physical intimacy frequently. I'm truly worried I might say or do something that accidentally triggers something unpleasant or difficult for him. I'm so worried about his wellbeing as he begins therapy but I'm also keenly aware that intimacy and feeling wanted/needed is hugely important to his state of mind.

I find myself feeling rather hopelessly naive. We do talk very openly and communicate on a very deep level. He says nothing in our intimacy needs to adapt but I can't help but feel, at the moment, a wrong step from me might be potentially very damaging, whilst also being acutely aware that withdrawing from intimacy would absolutely be damaging to him

He utterly detests feeling patronised so I'm mindful of ignoring his assertion that nothing needs to change, yet I'm finding it difficult to truly believe we can just 'keep calm and carry on' under these circumstances, despite our Britishness. I'm trying very hard to find a middle ground upon which I can be sensitive to all of his needs at once and make sure he's feeling loved, secure and wanted whilst having the time and space and freedom he needs to begin trying to heal from what happened

Has anyone else had to find a safe path through this? If so, would you have any kind words of advice?

Hi everyone,

I’m hoping to get some advice or ideas on how to make things work during intercourse, considering my physical limitations. I’m a guy with Muscular Dystrophy, which has severely affected my ability to move, and I also have scoliosis. As a result, I have difficulty with low pelvis elevation.

I’m not able to sit up on my own, and my legs are difficult to move or straighten due to the muscular dystrophy. My hips are angled because of scoliosis, and I struggle with flexibility, so finding positions that are comfortable and accessible has been a real challenge. Additionally, my legs get in the way, making things even more difficult.

I’ve tried using pillows and different setups, but nothing has really worked so far. I currently use a ceiling track lifter and a sling, and I’ve thought about trying a chair or recliner for positioning, but I’m not sure what would work best.

Has anyone here had similar challenges and found a position, technique, or piece of equipment that works well for them? I’m open to any ideas, whether it’s products like wedges, ramps, or other supports, or even positioning tips that you’ve found helpful.

Thanks in advance for your help and suggestions!

The short of it (Details of the situation further down):

1. Late 40's m having difficulty with ED, anxiety, staying in the moment, finishing with my partners. 
2. Ethically Non-monogamous with 1 primary partner, and one other partner.
3. Nearing the end of my divorce process with my spouse (not sexually involved with them, but a point of stress in my life).
4. Physical ailments causing pain that might be contributing. (back injury and ankle injury both currently being treated)

I know I can take the following steps:
1 Talk with my Drs about my meds (plan to in the upcoming week). 
2 I have a back and ankle injury that sometimes causes pain which causes issues so I am addressing that with Drs. 
3 Eating healthier and getting some exercise once my ankle has healed.
4 Finalize my divorce to remove that stress from my life 

Things I need help with:

1. I want her to be comfortable with how she enjoys sex and participate in things she enjoys, but currently it's an issue. How do I address her “questions” that are a distraction for me, or requests that cause anxiety to perform without making her feel guilty for her needs / wants or discouraging her?
2. How do I address what feels like a performance rather than an experience (i love you, words of encouragement vs give me that big thick dick or who owns this pussy)? While sometimes I’m in the mood for the latter, more often I need the former to get there.  It feels like she’s in a rush to get to the latter.
3. I need to figure out how to stay in the moment or get back in the moment when I'm thrown off. Any suggestions?
4. How do I address the need for more of the intimacy leading up to bedroom play (flirting, kissing, touch) without being demanding?

Details:

Been going through what started as an amicable divorce which became much less amicable and has drug out for a year. I met my current primary partner about 6 months ago and sexually everything started off great. Now I'm finding it really difficult to obtain and maintain an erection during sex (with both partners). I've tried Cialis with mixed results. I'm on antidepressants and PTSD meds that I know can impact my ability to maintain erections and even though the dosages haven't changed in years the issue is getting worse. 

My primary partner enjoys kinks and so do I. Often they are dominant and I'm submissive and I enjoy it, climax but don't ejaculate. I have a difficult time switching from kinks (spankings, impact play, etc) to PIV sex as I can't get hard. My partner is very vocal during penetration, but it seems to throw me off. They like to ask "who's your good girl?" "Am I your good girl?" Or they ask for me to finish "give me that cum" but I'm not close to cumming. I'm a pleaser but I get drawn out of the moment when I feel like I'm answering a quiz.  Asking "am I your good girl?" Is fine but if I answer back with "yeah you're my good girl!" And then she continues to ask "oh yeah who's your good girl, who's pussy is this, who owns this...." I lose focus and lose my erection and can't recover and finish because I am trying to address her want but it is distracting for me and feels like I'm being quizzed. She'll ask me to finish but I'm not close and not being able to finish when she asks causes performance anxiety because I can't finish on demand. Instead I'm trying so hard to focus on finishing and feeling pressured I can't finish and lose the erection, become frustrated and disappointment in myself and then its downhill from there.

She shared she doesn't like being quiet during sex (no issues there), but the questions and performance anxiety are killing our sex life. I like to be vocal but it's more primal sounds than words or questions or such. She’s shared she doesn’t know what to do because she doesn’t know what to say during sex but doesn’t like being quiet. She feels the need to use words that feel like they come out of porn and I think it causes me to lose the intimate connection I need for sex and drives it into a performance not an intimate experience.

I also recognize I need more sensuality in our sex life. I can't just go from watching TV to jumping in the bedroom and fucking most of the time. I need the kissing, touch, foreplay, oral, to get started and relax, but it feels like she's in a rush to get to an orgasm and I think it's messing with my head and creating performance anxiety. I like the flirting throughout the day and teasing that builds up to an intense sexual experience (although I recognize that’s not always feasible) but doesn't really happen. I like hearing “i love you” and other similar phrases that don’t feel like we are putting on a performance (I love the way your cock feels vs give me that big hard dick or oh yeah make it yours). I don’t know how to address this because the default for her is that performance style vocalization that feels like a porn hub clip which doesn't have the intimacy I often need.

I am a 35 year old healthy female. No kids. Paraguard IUD. Married, one partner for the last 17 years. I recently found my sex drive after getting off birth control pills. The week before I ovulate, let's just say- I am ready... all. the. time.. We sometimes have sex 2-3 times a day- several days in a row. I am on top alot and can be for the better part of an hour or more.
After ovulation, I can hardly stand to be on top. My hips don't necessarily 'hurt' per se- but I feel like I'm 60 years old. Stiff and maybe a little achy? It is quite annoying.
I've done some searching, Dr Google suggested possible endometriosis. I do have painful ovulation and have a pelvic ultrasound ordered for that. The docs around here are not very helpful unless you want more testing or meds....
I am just curious if anyone else has had this issue and what helped you?

I love giving oral. Love and adore it. But sometimes no matter how much I’m into it, my mouth starts to go dry and that’s the kiss of death.

My partner is girthy. Usually I deep throat to get slippery but even that’s not working as well anymore. Mouthwash dries me out, I’m hydrated, etc. I refuse to give in!

I hate the taste and texture of lube in my mouth so that’s the only thing I won’t try. I was going to maybe try taking slippery elm supplements.

Any tips for me?

All right, sexy people, what have you been up to? Let’s hear all about the good, bad, funny, weird, fun, and amazing things that have happened!

I (33m) am Brazilian and have been living in the US for three years and have started dating an american girl (27). I would say my English is very good. Our communication is great and our sex life is also amazing. However, I really like dirty talking in my first language and it feels very weird to do it in English. It feels unnatural and I often don't know what to say.

I wonder if anyone here who has been in a similar situation could help or give any piece of advice.

Hi,

This is my very first ever Reddit post. I’m scared but this is anonymous and I honestly could use some advice.

I’m not over thirty yet, I’m a 25 yo woman, but my boyfriend is 30. So I hope it’s okay if I post here.

Our relationship is good. We’ve been together for five years. We communicate well, support each other, and make each other laugh. Over the years we’ve both grown as people and helped each other grow.

The only thing is that I’m not satisfied with our sex life. I find it the hardest thing to talk about. I’m usually pretty good at confronting him and communicating when certain things bother me or just don’t sit well. And he does the same, we are pretty open with each other. But when it comes to my disappointment in our sex life I just find it extremely scary and I feel embarrassed.

So I’m here to ask for advice, and I’m also hoping that writing this down might help me with reflecting on the situation and my feelings.

My main frustration at the moment is that we barely have it. I’m talking less than once a month. When we do have sex it can feel amazing but a couple of times we’ve had some failed attempts. It just didn’t feel good, we weren’t able to get into it, or it even hurt for one of us.

I’m not always into penetrative sex but I also miss all the other stuff. He doesn’t like going down on me, which before everyone gets angry; I think should be okay. Right? We are both autistic and sensory issues seem to play a role in this. He explained that it can be too overwhelming for him, and as someone Who has also performed oral sex on cunts before, I kinda get it. I mean I like performing oral sex, but I get that it can be a lot with the different textures and smells all up in your face. Even if I can sympathize with him, I do admit I miss it. But also all the other stuff, just touching me in general, trying to make me cum, saying erotic things to me. It just barely ever happens.

It seems like he just doesn’t feel like having sex as often as I do, and I’m scared of initiating it because I feel like I keep getting rejected. I’ve tried offering to give him blowjobs which he usually agrees to and likes. And like doing that, I really do, I know what I’m doing, I like that it makes him feel good and it makes me feel hot and desired. But I’m honestly getting tired, because it's always me initiating and it almost always just stays with me sucking him off and nothing else.

I’m scared that he just doesn’t want me, or that I would ask for something that feels uncomfortable for him. When we have good sex, everything feels good. I can feel hat he enjoys touching me and making me feel good. But most times he seems overwhelmed and overheated by all the touching.

I always thought I was pretty sex positive, I liked talking about sex and trying out different things, I was able to communicate when something didn’t feel good. To ask for what I wanted. But I lately I don’t feel confident. I feel somewhat ashamed. And I know he doesn’t want me to feel this way, but I do.

A few weeks ago I tried talking about it with him. I said I’ve had issues feeling desired, I also said that it was more than just about sex. That I would like to cuddle and be kissed a bit more, or hear him call me beautiful. We talked about it and he apologized to me, telling me that he didn’t realize I’d been feeling insecure. He said he did find me beautiful and desirable. But there were a million other things about me that didn’t have anything to do with my appearance that he loved as well, and he’s been focusing on that. That is true, as I’ve said in all other aspects of our relationship I feel extremely loved and supported by him.

Since the conversation I notice that he’s taken more time to hold me, feel me and kiss me. And that feels good, but we haven’t had sex. Not penetrative but also nothing else really. I know I said in our conversation that it wasn’t just about sex, and it’s JUST about sex, but it is also about sex.

I know this sounds kinda petty but I feel my other friends have more sex than me. Not perfect of course, but just… I can’t even remember when we last had sex. It’s definitely over two months, maybe even more. It makes it hard for me to relate to other people’s sex lives, and since my boyfriend just doesn’t seem to mind us barely having any sex, I feel really alone in this.

I know I should probably bring this up again and talk about it more with him, but I’m not sure what to ask for. If he doesn’t feel like having sex there’s not really anything for me to do.

One last thing to add to the complications: In less than a month. Will move to a different country for 6 months. We plan to see each other in these six months, but we won’t be able to physically be with each other for a long time. So I feel like I’m too late to bring this up now.

Maybe if it’s mostly about sensory issues we could try using sex toys more often, however I’m very specific and the few cheap ones I’ve bought in the past don’t really work for me. We both don’t have a lot of money to spend. Regardless of that, he just doesn’t seem to be in the mood, and I think I’d feel worse if he tried pleasuring me while he’s not really into it himself.

Okay, sorry for the long explanation, I hope it’s somewhat readable. Advice would be appreciated!

I am a 38m and I actually wonder do guys ever talk to each other about sex in any real depth? In all the years with my friends its barely mentioned and we may say a line about it and that's it.

I am curious is this normal amongst men and their friends.

Ps I am happy about this as be mortified talking in depth about sex.

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Wife and I (both 30) have to really look into each other's eyes and feel that desire to start the foreplay. We go quiet, just stare at each other romantically and start kissing. Up until penetration it is mostly silence apart from her moans. When we were in a long distance relationship, we would just start with the foreplay and would fuck like rabbits.