Don't know why I didn't think about this before, like it couldn't happen to me at anytime before, but, at 60, every ache and pain has me thinking what I'm going to die from and when.

My (50M) team and I (BDRs) are being replaced next week by a 3rd party lead generation company.

Funny, just recently we were assured this wasn't happening and were called the best team in the world

Methinks our "anonymous" employee engagement surveys didn't give them the "grateful slave" vibe they sought and can't be arsed paying us the market/regional value .

Of course I can't expect humanity from a woke corporate, so here I am starting again - anyone know of any UK recruiters/companies/industries that don't push politics and just value a hard working salesman?

I want to write about the marketing/communities that focus on over 50s as a group?

Does this make sense in this day and age or am I missing something?

Would love to hear other views.

Hi!

I'm working on a new companion that uses AI to help people self-reflect, discover their positive power values (such as courage, accountability, and authenticity) that they have thought about or demonstrated, and track those values to align their life with what is truly important to them. All in a casual conversation with a friendly companion.

I was hoping to find some people who could give us feedback on the product. I built this for myself, my wife, and a close circle of friends who were going through our midlife crisis and needed to return to things that really mattered to us. Now, we want to see if what we've built works for a broader audience. Comment below, and I'll DM you the website link!

Hey! Posting as 2nd account for obvious reasons.

So background:

My wife and I have been together for 12 years, married for 7. Living in Finland (she is Finnish, I am not). 2 kids - 5 and 2.

I am 38M - run a business from home, and my wife is 33F - a kindergarten teacher.

About 7 months ago, on our anniversary, my wife said that she is not into us as much as she used to (basically, she doesn't feel that romantic love for me that she first did). She blames things I cannot change (my appearance, which hurts). She even said that she has contemplated breakup off and on for the last 6 years. Also in line with PMS (great most of the time, but during the time of the month, she really wanted to break up!)

She mentioned that she has been struggling with understanding her role and identity beyond being a mother, teacher, and wife. What is her identity? She sees a therapist a couple of times; it helps. She voices things I could do better, and I start working on them.

I took that as a sign to shake things up—date night, hotel outings, arranging babysitters, and more proactive work around the house. I am pretty much handling the kids myself while she rests after work, I cook, etc. She is more active on the weekends.

Things were good for a while, and in January, I sensed her growing distant again. In February, she asked for a separation. I wrote a nice love letter, and we talked. A few days later, she woke me up in the morning, saying she had changed her mind. She loves me and wants to give us a chance. Her work is an issue, so she will look to speak up there.

Things are good again. We take a trip with family in March. Things are amazing.

Middle of April, the distancing comes out of nowhere. On a Sunday, she asks for a divorce and says there is no changing her mind. We try to talk, but this time, she is holding steady. She says any time we had sex in the last 7 months (including this morning), she forced herself to (which makes me feel horrible!)

She said it would be easy to divorce me if I cheated, but I am loyal to a cause. And maybe I'd hate her if she was an asshole - so she is saying things to make me hate her. Her words.

She expresses that one of her reasons for divorcing is because she wants to date other people and see if there's a different version of life she likes more. (Honestly, I trust her fully because she has never stepped out so I will disregard any suggestions for that). By Tuesday, she had found an apartment to move out to. We will take the kids 50/50 of the time. She wants to take the time to heal, too, and see a therapist again (she already started seeing one)

The D-bomb was dropped 2 weeks ago. This weekend, she will move out.

I am now left with a sense of loss - her, the kids (half the time), and the future we could have had.

My questions are:

1. Is this MLC, or does she really not like me? I seem to be getting blamed for all her misery, or so I see it.

2. I want to help her, but she wants to be as far away from me as possible and only talk when she wants. She wants complete independence and control over her time and life. She loves the kids, though, and generally, we are cordial with regard to the kids, though

3. we are separating but not divorcing just yet, But I feel it's around the corner. I love this woman from the deepest of my heart. Do I have any chance of salvaging this? In the future? If there are some things I cannot give, we have talked about me making considerations for her to get what she wants (basically, open relationships of some sort - if we are first stable)

All this is breaking up what is an otherwise good family with no clear issues. We don't fight or argue. No abuse. We have enough money, live in a good house, etc. It's a good life; it feels like a waste, throwing it all away. But of course, if she is going through something, I want to be there for her more than anything else, and I am not taking her plight lightly.

​

Few observations:

- there are a lot of mood swings. From feeling great to feeling and showing resentment to me.

- she is a great person, but she is not acting like herself anymore (her family says that too)

- if this really is MLC, I hope she gets the help she needs, but if I suggest this to her, well, see observation 1.

​

Thanks in advance! Reading this sub-redding has helped, especially from experience of others like her (and others like me)

It has finally hit me. Days removed from my 57th birthday, I suddenly feel overwhelmed with reality. I don't have a nest egg, I probably will have to work until the day I die, and nothing in my life brings me joy or excitement. I hope this isn't a mid-life crisis or I have FAR too much time in front of me!

Hi Everyone,

I 40m have been feeling really confused lately and I was hoping someone could weigh in with some advice.

I have been married for 18 years and have 2 beautiful daughters. I spent from 20 to 35 on depression medication and after burning out was diagnosed with ADHD. The period from 35-40 is hard to explain, but my world was in vivid color. I underwent a transformation and really found myself. My performance at work skyrocket, my relationships improved, and I felt so good in my own skin.

I was more engaged with my daughters and have 2 of the best little friend's life could give. I spend time with them individually and just absorb the wonderful women they are becoming; they are 15 and 12.

39-40 was just perfect. My wife and I lost a bunch of weight, and she couldn't keep her hands off of me. Love making went from a couple times per month to multiple times per week. We celebrated her 40th birthday one year and mine the next year. Her birthday trip was the best experience of my life, but then mine was even better. Passionate, fun and just the best way to break into 40. We started date-night every Friday and Mega date-night every 3 months (something much bigger and more special).

I am nearly into my dream job, something I have wanted my whole life. It came from unfortunate circumstances, but I am excited at the opportunity.

So, what the hell is going on?

Emotionally I am wondering who I am? I don't know that I have any idea anymore.

Over the past 9 months the passion with my wife is just gone. It was her turn to come up with some mega date-night ideas and she kind of explained that she didn't want to. Our love making has dropped to once per week on date-night but is more like an obligation than anything. None of this by my choice. She gained a small amount of weight back and seems obsessed with losing more again and is focused on her work. I feel like I am becoming an afterthought.

I have been working as interim CEO of my company for 2 years, unpaid and largely unrecognized. My predecessor passed away and as COO I stepped into the role. I was so excited, and I have big plans, but my board seems to be dragging their heels and as such my motivation has finally evaporated. It's a small company and as COO I wasn't being paid that well, and I am still making that even as interim CEO. It's somewhat complicated by I was without a board (or a boss of any kind) for 2 years so I couldn't exactly give myself a raise.

My oldest daughter will be going to university in 3 years, and I know she will be moving far away, likely out of country.

This is getting too long, so I will skip some other stuff. Someone asked me recently what I would do to celebrate my CEO promotion when that happens. Honestly, nothing at all. I don't really want anything and at best I would want to do something for my wife or my kids. That would make me happy.

I feel like I am living each day for other people. I go to work each day and pile money aside for my kids and support my wife in anything she wants. I don't feel like anyone sees me anymore and I have never gotten to know myself. I never buy anything for myself, never do anything for myself and I have no idea what I would do. Is this all that is left for me in life? To be my children's ATM and to sit quietly in the corner in case someone needs me? I feel like I have no real purpose anymore and am experiences a vacuum of my joy disappearing.

MLC starting or am I just depressed?

I will be 46 this year and I feel like I am having a MLC. I’m evaluating my life and I don’t like what I see and I am having a panic attack. I want to change everything and I don’t know what to do or where to even start.

I’ve had 2 failed marriages . Both cheated and one was abusive physically and mentally .

I don’t really have any friends. I’ve abruptly ended relationships with people I was friends with many times.

I have been depressed for many years . I was diagnosed with PTSD from past traumas by my abusive exhusband . I was in counseling for years . ( perhaps I need to go back?!?)

Financially, I am a mess. I am in a lot of debt . I do own a home and my bills are always paid on time but I can’t seem to dig myself out and stay out of debt .

I have a decent job . It wasn’t what I wanted to really do in life but it provides a good salary and a good pension when I retire.

I don’t live in the same state as my family and I do not have a very good relationship with them anyways because of things that happened in my childhood.

I do have a child and a grandchild. My grandchild is my whole world. My child and I get along most times but the way I am treated sometimes is perplexing.

I live somewhere I hate but I’m stuck here until I retire. I can’t give up my job and pension . I have too many years invested to start over. And so I stay . Also my child and grandchild are here .

My health has been crappy for a few years and I am starting to get a hold of that . Doctors finally figured out what was wrong with me after years of saying it was nothing.

I don’t even know where to start to change my life . I have so much anxiety thinking I’m half way through my life and I’ve spent a lot of it being unhappy . How can I possibly live this way the rest of the time I have left on this earth ? I desperately want to improve my life but I feel so lost.

Anyone's MLC triggered by loss of job? I think that was the straw that broke the camel's back for me.

I hope this is allowed to post.... So much of this book has hit home for me. If nothing else, it's been reassuring to know that I'm not the only one with similar feelings of despair and disappointment with my life. Highly recommend giving this book a read.

It seems he couldn’t handle his feelings of failure and achievement or lack thereof (don’t share his opinion but that’s how he views it). Eventually considering I lost my job and that added pressure on him financially as I was the main income earner, and a surgery that was painful enough in November he started drifting into depression. Vocalizing mainly the fact that he wants to leave and go somewhere alone, but taking care of us financially. I was a bit ignorant on mental health problems and the manifestations they take in men so it wasn’t until January and after a couple of sessions with the therapist that he dropped me the I love you but not in love with you bomb. Shortly after he said he actually feels nothing. He started doing reckless things and I told him that this behaviour isn’t tolerated neither it can be understood. By that time I was certain he had depression and a couple of months later he got the same confirmation from the therapist.

Not sure what led him to depression but I am guessing it’s his longing to leave and have a fantasy life elsewhere. Our marriage was the first thing to drop… in less than 3 months. He is now moved to a small airBnB nearby so he can come and see our teenage daughter who was totally caught off guard, considering our marriage seemed to be a really good one. In October, just before the surgery he was reassuring me of his love and how he can’t think of his life without me…

I transitioned to my second half of life without making major changes or going through a crisis… I also got fitter and was looking forward to my daughter leaving for College so that we could both live our second honeymoon. And it was what both of us said… So not sure if he will come the other end of it and we will be together still… If you are in a loving marriage, your midlife crisis shouldn’t be a crisis but a transition. Negotiate and discuss changes you want to make in your life to feel more fulfilled and content with your spouse and grow from there…. Now if the only form of manifestation of midlife crisis that needs reassurance is your sexual ability and need to sleep around… that is probably off limits… and the only thing you can’t do in my opinion within the marriage setting. Everything else is negotiable…

If any of you came the other side of it and still with your partners… how did you do it? If some of you were left behind, where are you in the journey?

I am turning 40 in 2 months, I left America at 22 and without bragging I've achieved a lot, but all financial and personal triumphs, nothing meaningful and now I feel stuck.

Having said all of this, I am not fulfilled personally...AT ALL. I DON'T have many really ride or die friends, my family and I are not super close, and I just broke up with my serious, life-partner GF of 5 years...so I will celebrate my 40th bday alone and that makes me sad and so I decided to do therapy after the break up because she's awesome and I feel like it was all my fault. In the past 8 weeks of I have tried Psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, family constellation therapy, read 4 books on emotional intelligence, narcisisstic behaviors and patience, did a somatic meditation program, and really leveled myself up and I feel pretty great about myself, but there's one big thing I can't shake...

WHAT THE HELL DO I DO WITH MY LIFE NOW!

I have been working remotely and traveling for the past 20 years, I can go anywhere, but I don't feel like it....I love San Francisco, I have never been to Hawaii, I have a home in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico but she's there....my family is in Columbus, Ohio (nah) ...so IDK where to go, or what to do....Its almost like I feel like I have no purpose. I really want to find a life partner and settle down somewhere but I can't think of what to do first, do I just move somewhere aimlessly again and keep searching slowly for a longterm partner? Do I go home and stay with family longterm knowing there's no likelihood of settling down with someone in Ohio...lol

Help.

It feels like I've (43m) hit a point where I just don't connect with anyone outside my wife and kids anymore. I really tried to build strong friendships over the past four or five years, but they all fizzled out eventually, especially the ones I poured the most effort into. It's like the more I invested, the harder they fell apart. After going through this so many times, I'm finding it hard to care about making new friends. The idea of putting myself out there just to be rejected or discarded makes me sick to my stomach. Is this just a normal part of getting older, or should I try to fight it? My disdain for getting to know people I'm not related to seems to be getting worse by the day, and it's not getting any easier. I still have a few friends who stick around, but I'm keeping them at arm's length so I won't be hurt if they leave. I am cordial with people at work. And I have been told I am well liked and highly regarded, but I have no interest in knowing anything deeper than what I need for day to day chitchat.

I transcribed this from my notebook. Discussion, suggestions, feedback, roasts, and questions are all welcome.

How do I feel at this point in my life?

• Uneasy - about lack of motivation
• Frustrated - that my knees often feel at risk of worsening
• Frustrated - that my eyesight isn't as good as it used to be
• Concerned - that my abstract thinking is not as clear or fast as it used to be
• Inadequate - that I used to feel like the smartest person in the room. That is very rarely true now
• Stable - financially and with adequate insurance to protect my assets
• Disgruntled - that I expected to have more control, more wealth, and be more independent at this point in my life
• Afraid - that some lawsuit or disaster will ruin my rental income and force me to sell
• Fortunate - that I have the assets that I do have, and some independence from immediate financial pressures
• Futility - that working towards success for so long hasn't caused overwhelming material success and true financial independence. Some decisions that I've made and efforts that I've pursued have been losers.
• Worthy - I have fulfilled, even more than fulfilled, my duty as a parent. I've been present, stable, offered guidance, and provided a lot of care.
• Afraid - that my breakdown at [prior job] would reoccur or otherwise be indicative of continuing poor performance
• Envious - of others' professional success, wealth, nuclear family, supportive parents, and valuable life guidance
• Desperate - I urgently want to feel more accomplished, respected, and desired. I want to be able to bask in the glow of my own success, and for people to be drawn to me.

Redditors, I’m in my mid 30s and probably having a mid-life crisis. I started a new job earlier this year that hasn’t turned into the job I hoped it would be. My mum has also passed away recently. I’m debating resigning from my job and travel for 3 months. I can’t take a career break because I’ve not been with my employer long enough. I think I need some time out to switch off and come to terms with my mum passing. I have the financial means to do this and I’m not committed with any children. Some of my friends think it’s a great idea and others less so. People keep telling me it’s a hard job market to come back to and I need to think about my pension etc. What do you people think? Am I mad for considering it? All views welcome

I don’t feel like I’m going to do anything amazing with my career. My lifestyle is not going to change because I am committed to my family. Hobbies and travel are fun, but I never seem to have time or money. It just feels like I’ll be stuck supporting commitments to others forever.

Hi all,

Not sure if anyone has been through something similar but I'm 40 this year and it's really hit me that life isn't where I hoped it would be by now.

I quit my job a month ago as it was killing me, my plan was to setup my own business but I'm kind of overwhelmed with my options.

I left my long term gf of 10 years and had bust ups with family members meaning I'll probably never talk to them again.

​

I left the UK to work abroad and literally came back and am now sure where I should lay my hat.

It's strange, just over a month ago, life was pretty straight forward and now I have a great deal of anxiety about the future. I really thought a midlife crisis was something that happened to others!

Just turned 40 last month, I'm nowhere near where I thought I would be now, without any control over my life, not knowing where I'm going or where I'll end up. Just like George Costanza said, “It became very clear to me sitting out there today that every decision I've made in my entire life has been wrong”.

Life has always been complex, but I've managed to get by. However, for the past 5 years or so, it all went downhill, and I never got back on my feet. I'm a photographer/videographer, and I had to shut down my business in 2018. It broke me, drove me into depression, and shattered my self-confidence. I blamed myself for the business failure, even though I know that it was not all my fault, and I started to doubt myself. The pandemic hit, and I found a freelance gig editing content for social media; the money was good, especially at that time, and I was working from home. But without realizing it, I found comfort in isolating myself from the world. I was afraid of putting myself out there, so I started settling for small jobs and scraping by when I know I'm capable of much more. For me, time stood still after that, and I never really moved on. My business partner moved on, and now he’s in a better place; my old employees moved on, and now they’re light years ahead of me. I can't even recognize my old competitors.

I've tried a few times to rebuild my career; however, every time I attempt to reach out to old clients or pursue new ones through phone calls or social media, I'm overcome with panic and anxiety attacks.

I know I'm running on fumes in my photography career, and even though I like what I do and regardless of what my very loud inner monologue says, I'm good at it. I could make a career move or take a different job, but I don't have either the education or skills to get a new job in today's market. I wasted 20 years on a career and education that led to nowhere.

Social media is my worst enemy. I see that all of my friends who followed a more traditional path, going to college, getting a degree, stuff like that, are doing well, financially stable, while I'm living paycheck to paycheck. So it reinforces the feeling that I'm aimless because I don’t know how to get to where they are.

Bills just keep piling up, I have a son and a wife for whom I would like to provide just like my parents did for me.

Every day I wake up feeling like I could be in a much better place than where I am, but I know that I'm not there because I'm my own worst enemy. Either making bad choices or my negative self-talk, my lack of hope, or my everyday diminishing will to fight for a better life.

I just want a beacon, an anchor, the light at the end of the tunnel to finally move on with my life. I'm willing to do the hard work, whatever it takes. I just don’t want my life to be over at 40.

edit- Thank you all for your kind words. First time I expressed this feelings out loud. I know that the only way out of this is moving forward and taking action and the only one that can make it happen is me. Ill take all of the good advice you have me and start taking small steps to heal myself

My dad has dementia and I'm reaching that age where I should start thinking about it. I pray every day that I don't end up contracting the same plague my dad has to suffer through. Does anyone else have this concern or is it only me?

Any suggestions will be helpful, I’m really desperate. Until now, I’ve worked dead-end jobs, and didn’t bother to get promoted or switch careers. Now I am 38, have mobility limitations and some pain, don’t drive, a degree that I never used and can’t do much with, no savings, no retirement, a small cc balance, no emergency fund, and eventual medical bills, I need to switch to a desk job bc of my injury and I have had no luck finding one, I’m really freaking out! I know others manage getting themselves out of situations like this or worse but I don’t know how I can. I’ve applied online for numerous office jobs and remote jobs but either don’t have the education or experience necessary.

I never thought I’d be in a situation like this, the sad part is that I had a similar experience a few years back and promised I wouldn’t be in a situation like this again. My father was in hospital and incurred a lot of medical debt we had to help pay, luckily it was forgiven but the looming debt weight heaving on me. Now it’s me who has a medical condition and don’t know how to get myself up again, financially

If I get surgery to try and repair injury, I’ll be out for 6-12 months (surgeon isn’t confident it will work, doesn’t suggest it but may be willing to do it), and I will have medical bills, if I wait injury will progressively get worse (don’t know when) and I’ll need more serious surgery. But at this point I have waited too long, lowering success rate of first surgery.

Plan was to find job with health insurance in the mean time, build up a savings and get the second surgery when the time comes and deal with those consequences then. No luck and who’s to say I won’t be worse of then.

Can someone explain how I went from a very reserved, calm, and measured mid 40s man to a highly emotional, passionate, jealous, and intensely nostalgic man over the course of 1 year? I literally don't recognize myself at all and on the other hand I feel like this was me the whole time and I was just hiding it? What the fuck?

Back again. Divorce comes up a lot on this subreddit. We discuss divorce and MLC in general, but also in association with Attachment Theory. Jack and I both discuss our personal divorce stories.

Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midlife-crises/id1669634216?i=1000652321079

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4ZQcEttcZ6Dw7dAyY76YD6?si=1D4My4wLQe6Tu--PVPeA3w

I’m at a point where I’m just not functioning properly anymore

Bit of background

Weight gain.

I had a traumatic experience in 2012 and I steadily started gaining weight

I have lost loads of weight and put it all back on plus more at least 3 times in the last 12 years.

I’m now at the heaviest I’ve ever been. I’m almost double the Weight I was in 2008

Death of Parents My beloved father died from vaccine injury in 2021 and in her grief my mother has developed dementia and alzheimers

This has really taken a toll on my mental health

Despite this I held down a retail job until recently (august 2023), I left it because my graphic design business was really taking off and I was struggling with the physical side of retail work

Since my life has become even more sedintary I hired a PT to come and work out with me 3 times a week at home

Relationship

I’ve been with my beloved partner for 16 years nearly but our intimate life hasn’t been existent for at least 6-7 years

I have tried to reignite it but he’s not interested. I know it’s because of my weight but he swears it’s not

Until recently I trusted him implicitly

But in December I discovered he was arranging to meet other men for sex and in that instant my entire world collapsed. My trust in him has never recovered

He swears he’s never met anyone and just chatted with them. I believe him because I know him and I don’t think he had it in him to be unfaithful properly. And I’ve given him several opportunities to end out relationship but he says he loves me more than anything

Career

We, along with our best friend had a production company and for the last 8 years have been writing comedy and plays etc.

Since then we have filmed several comedy pilots pushing forward with projects
We took a show to Edinburgh Fringe in 2022 with our female friend in a one woman show to critical acclaim
When the Eurovision Song Contest came to Liverpool in 2023 we as locals pushed ourselves to get involved. Our closest female friend was already working for a high level broadcaster in the city and we wanted to use the character we took up to Edinburgh to push our work forward
Between March and May we banged out 30 videos.
Unfortunately our friend was experiencing instability in her work and so when it came to gaining access to some of the big Eurovision events she was pained to push anyone and ask. She also wouldn’t allow me to lead the charge on producing as she didn’t want me to Rock the boat. I was essentially castrated in the situation
We had a big meeting with essentially the commissioner for the entire Eurovision show and left the other promises of huge involvement.
What transpired was broken Promises, radio silence and I was left with no way of pushing forward on my own with it
Surprisingly it all went well and we finished the videos and looked forward to Eurovision, no one fought, no one expressed uncertainty.
After the hype died down and we tried to have another meeting and plan our next move. Our friend said she needed a break. We’d essentially all felt burned out after such a busy few months
We agreed and planned to come back to it in September
I had recently introduced her to her new spouse (I had known him since school and he was recently divorced)
This man spent months buttering me up and getting close to me in an effort to get close to her.
After they started seeing each other I essentially was dropped like a hot brick. Now I hardly ever hear from him even though he’s dating my best friend
The relationship quickly exploded and it was pretty evident that they’re the love of each others lives.
My friend spends all her free time with him and his children and after a recent promotion in work she is in the job she wants now
My problem is I feel like I’ve properly lost her. We spent years building this company, dozens of ideas, working hard. And she’s now got her broadcasting job and it feels like she’s pulled the ladder up after her and left us to it
We’ve gone from seeing her twice a week to 4 times in the last 6 months. Any free time she has is spent with him.
We tried to come back in September but she was ready and didn’t want force it. Essentially saying we would come back to it ‘one day’
The entire situation has left me depressed, I feel betrayed, sad and like I don’t know how to proceed with my own work.
The worst part is I’m still friends with her. She has changed beyond recognition though. We hardly ever talk anymore on WhatsApp when we used to chat every day
I don’t feel like I can tell her how I feel because she will feel like I’m trying to control things

Existential crisis

As you can see

I’ve really been through the ringer in recent years

Despite this I’m still trying to push ahead with plans for my writing career with amazing opportunities being offered to me

Unfortunately I am exhausted. Physically, mentally.

I’m almost in a daze most days, dissociative and distracted

I look at the state of the world politically, the threat of wars, pandemics,

I hear horrendous stories about politicians, celebrities and satanic cults and suddenly now even my aethiest beliefs are now up in the air.

Everything I ever trusted about my own views on religion and life has been shaken

Every single fundamental cornerstone of my stability is gone and I’m struggling to stay afloat

I have no drive to push forward with career or weight loss because I honestly don’t know what’s going to happen in the next few years with wars etc.

It all seems so pointless

How do I even go on? I don’t have the energy, I’m sleeping terribly of a night time and napping constantly in the day

45 f. In the US. I've hit a brick wall. Life is "perfect," kids, husband, house etc but...

Hi guys, I've been feeling the same as you all for a long time now and have just stumbled across this subreddit today...

Reading a large number of posts, I realised that it's ok to feel how we are feeling, and more importantly we're not alone in this. I bet there are tons more people who feel like us but never seen this subreddit.

I could tell you my story but to be honest, it just sounds like all of yours. Just wanted to say a thank you to all who post and all that answer.

In my day to day life, I'm surrounded by people who made it and are seeming happy. It's just refreshing to not be the only one. So yep, I'll raise a glass to you all later on. Cheers guys. :)

I have never had a serious relationship. I got pregnant at 24 and had my daughter. I love her, in a lot of ways having her saved me. I dont know who her dad is exactly, and frankly I dont want to know. I have never seen a healthy relationship modeled for me so long term relationships have never exactly been of interest to me. As I get older though, and as my daughter starts to become old enough to be independent I am starting to stress about it. My friends are married with their own lives - some are happy, most are not. I dont have a "partner" I have friends, I have male friends and can find penises when I need them - but I cant help shake the feeling I will need more in life after my daugher moves on from me.

Any support for singles at a stage of live where things are starting to change and it's stressing them out???

I have a very high stress job in an industry that ruthlessly disregards boundaries. Having said that, the autonomy is good and the pay is decent... but I'm wearing golden handcuffs.

If I didn't have rent to pay, kids to feed and the responsibility of being the majority earner in the household i would absolutely look for something else to do. I'd probably regret it but I'd love a simple "joe job" that told me what to do and I could leave behind at 5pm. But I'm stuck.

I'm in my mkd 40s and I just can't see myself still doing this at 50. I don't think a move to another company or related industry would help. I've just worked in a pressure cooker for my entire adult life and still have to occasionally pull an 18 hour day to keep the house of cards from collapsing.

I've read about younger people adopting the "soft life" where they refuse to "lean in" to an unhealthy work life. I would if I could, but I can't just pickup and go. It wouldn't be fair to the rest of the family if I became a bicycle mechanic and took a 75% pay cut.

Thanks for listening to my vent. Yes, I know I'm damn lucky and all kinds of fortunate.