/r/genderfluid
This is a subreddit for anyone who is genderfluid; anything goes here. Some examples: comments, questions, stories, pros & cons of being genderfluid, and anything else that is related to being genderfluid. The only things that aren't allowed are personal attacks and bigotry. (Basically, don't be an ass and be respectful of other redditors. It's easy.) Please subscribe and have fun on our judgment-free subreddit!
/r/genderfluid
I would always shave my little moustache because I thought it would make me less attractive, but I decided to grow it out and I really like it. Whenever I look at my face and see the fuzz above my upper lip I experience a little gender euphoria. I’m surprised I haven’t stopped shaving the stache earlier, but I’m happy I did. This is all just wanted to share my observations. Remember to stay hydrated and take care, be kind to yourself :)
I have been dressing at home for 5!years and in my 40’, but i like to present both masc and femme at times and would like to find someone who does as well- Does that person exist?
I (AMAB) bought my first lingerie set in person today from a real life bricks and mortar shop. Felt so comfortable doing it, no strange looks from anyone while I was looking through the range, no eye rolling from the staff at the tills when I went to pay. Maybe they thought I was buying it for a girlfriend or spouse (or maybe they thought hahaha another man who wears bras, who knows).
I didn’t plan on buying it today, just went in and had a look at what was in stock. Since before and after I came out, I’ve been wary of what I’m buying and what I’m wearing. I do like sexy things but I don’t want to drift over into femboy or sissy stuff, because that’s not what I am. At the same time though, I’m not at the point where I want to be buying just 5-packs of women’s basic briefs from Primark. So this set is red, practical, with a bit of lace on it, but not too deep into Ann Summers or HB territory. And I’m by no means finished on my genderfluid journey, I want to make mistakes too. For every dress or skirt I buy that fits perfectly and looks great, I want to buy something that needs to be returned (and I did that in the summer with a dress that looked great on the website but like a smock on me).
Got it home and tried it on. Incredibly the bra fit perfectly. I don’t think that will be the case once I get my breastforms, but they’re a long way off right now, so I’m not worried about that. Unfortunately I was so devoted to making sure I picked up the right sized bra that I didn’t consider the size of the pants (and didn’t consider that I don’t have hips). So unfortunately they’re a little bit loose and flappy. Still, one success and one mistake, it’s exactly what I’m looking for.
Please show me attention for this ☺️
I am a queer woman currently seeing a genderfluid person and am having trouble making sure I am doing/saying the right things. Besides having long hair, he is generally male presenting, and have talked to him before about pronouns, and he said that he 'doesn't really care, just whatever feels right', but doesn't really identify with they/them pronouns ever.
It feels uncomfortable to switch between he/him and she/her within the same conversation, but I am not sure how/when I should be switching because I don't want to get into a habit of only referring to her in a masculine manner. Should I be going heavier on feminine terms since a lot of her everyday life is male presenting? Should I use majority masculine since that's the way that she dresses and presents day-to-day? 50-50?
I'm sorry if I've worded any of this in an incorrect way, I am really trying to learn and will accept any advice
Hi, I discovered Im genderfluid many months ago but recently I have felt that sometimes (like rn) I prefer being boy even when it changes my gender and sometimes i feel good with the gender I feel at that moment. I don’t know if its common but sometimes is frustrating.
This may just be anecdotal, but it seems like a lot of queer people (myself included) are also neurodivergent. Is there a correlation or am I just in a bubble?
I swear social media is becoming such a scary place , all the transphobia I see online is making me so depressed and dysphoric to a point I’m literally avoiding surtain platforms and posts 😭
I came up with three different names depending if I feel masculine feminine or androgynous because I personally feel a tad uncomfortable going by the same name however I've kind of worried that it might be too much to go by anais coco and eric
I have been questioning my gender for around three years now. im currently non-binary to gender non conforming, but ive been contemplating the genderfluid label as well.
idk. i dont know why i am putting so much importance over a label that isnt actually going to change anything about me. its just a label. but it still feels like such a big thing.
ive tried to talk to my bf and fam about it, but they dont really get it. they always give the ‘dont force yourself into something. just let life be life’ but idk. it feels like it should be something bigger than that.
My main argument for not using the term would be that not behaving in certain stereotypical ways does not make a girl "Boyish." Seeing as boys have a variety of ways of expressing themselves as well. But sadly I think the term is just too popular to be fully replaced.
Hi so I have recently came out as gender fluid (AMAB) but I have felt denizen for a long time almost a month now but typically only in private spaces and at night and im starting to question it
I'm new to this but I've been thinking about it for a while and I'm pretty sure I'm gender fluid but I don't know how to start changing or doing it thing I just want recommendations or stuff that you guys did when you first started transitioning
Hi all, 19 currently identifying as mtf, for background context I've been on estrogen and T blockers for a little over a year and have stuck with that label for two years, give or take a few months.
There are some days where I have issues with that label though, as every once in a while, (frequency varies but let's say an average of like 7-12 days a month) i feel a bit dysphoric when I'm called a girl and prefer being called a boy, and I tend to use my middle name on those days, Tulip, rather than use my much more feminine first name.
I looked into maybe describing myself as gender fluid, but the main issue I have is that I feel like I'm not gender fluid enough. On my boy days I still present fairly feminine, I wear your standard femboy clothes, and I still feel really happy being on estrogen. On my girl days I wear a slight bit more masculine clothes, like half tomboy, but I still present pretty feminine.
I feel like since no matter what gender I identify with on a given day I present feminine and generally feel uncomfortable presenting fully masculine, I feel like I'm not gender fluid enough to be allowed to use that label. I decided to post here to see any thoughts and if anyone could give their opinions.
TLDR: I present feminine no matter what gender I feel like so I feel like that might disqualify me from being gender fluid
Edit: Wow, lots of helpful replies to this! After reading these replies and just doing a bit more digging on my own I think I like the gender fluid label for myself as it fits well to describe my experience, thanks everyone for the kind and validating words it helped a lot :3
tl;dr - not including my deadname, ive gone by 4 different names (including the one i currently go by). i want to go by a different name but i feel bad. i feel like im asking too much from my family because it feels like i throw new changes at them constantly. but i really like this new name and its the other name my parents were considering for me for when i was born and i think its really pretty. but i feel so bad about wanting to change it again.
i dont know why i feel so guilty about it. ive had a lot of personal growth throughout the past several years. ive done some "experimenting" (i dont like using this term very much in terms of identity, but i was sort of trying things out in a way. i dont know how to explain it).
in 8th grade (2020 i think) i came out as pansexual. it felt right and i did a lot of research before choosing to use that label, because i didnt want to use it if it didnt apply to me. later that year i came out as trans. i know this sounds bad but initially i just wanted to see what it was like. i liked being a boy. it felt good. i wanted to start going by a different name but my dad wouldnt let me.
keep in mind that i dont remember the exact times at which these events happened, but i do remember the order. ill try my best to keep it chronologically correct.
sometime after that i proposed a different name to my family. my dad tried to get me to pick a name that started with the same letter as my deadname but i didnt like it. he had a very hard time being supportive and understanding at first but hes come a long way since then. for this name, i wasnt a huge fan of it but i picked it because it seemed easy for my dad in particular to wrap his head around.
it was short-lived. i started thinking of other names i wanted to go by and i settled on one. i used that name for 2-3 years. a couple years ago i changed my name to the one im currently using, and have since identified as non-binary/femme but recently ive been thinking about a new name more and more and i really do love it and i want to change it but i feel like ive given my family so much change to cope with in these past few years. i feel guilty wanting to ask them once again that i want a different name. this name is the other name my parents were considering for me for when i was born. it really is a beautiful name and i genuinely think this name could be my forever name. im mostly just worried about telling my grandparents. theyre so loving and so supportive and theyve always respected my name and have done their best to use the right pronouns but i still feel like im asking so much of them already.
i dont know what to do.
edit: sorry this was kind of a rambling mess please let me know if you need me to clarify anything
I have a large group of friends but one of them who I’m not really that friendly with is transphobic and I don’t know how I’d socially transition without them knowing.
Hi, I’m gonna try to explain as good as I can what I mean and what’s going on with me. I was born a female and was raised as one. I am diagnosed with BPD and depression. Throughout my whole life I’ve been struggling with my body image, eating disorders, self harm and many others. I have a lot of trauma from childhood, including sexual trauma but well, that’s life i guess. I’m healing. Since I was a kid, I’ve always preferred to play with the boys and I wanted to be a part of their group. Not to become them but just be close to them. I did have girl friends but they always betrayed me. I was bullied pretty badly for 10 years at school. I had thoughts about liking girls but I never actually did, they repulsed me because of the shit they put me through. I thought I liked boys, I was supposed to like them, yeah? I was supposed to have crushes and be in a relationship with boys. I guess I kinda picked boys around my hometown and was deciding something like “he’s cute I want this one”. It wasn’t really based on feelings, more on what I’m supposed to do, because all the other girls have their boyfriends. I did want “my person” and to be loved but it wasn’t really hard. Whenever I was in a relationship I felt like I was suffocating and being held hostage. It was weird and scary because I was doing everything I was supposed to right? I had my first love (i guess?) when I was 14/15. It was an on-off toxic relationship. Had my first time with that guy before my 18th birthday. Not because I wanted to, but because my friends bullied me and made fun of me cause I was still a virgin. I’m 23 now and, well, I still absolutely hate sex. I hate kissing with tongue I am just repulsed by stuff like that. Every single one of my relationships was destroyed because of me. I thought it was BPD but now I realize that apart from it I just feel little to none emotions connected to love when it comes to my partner. I did thrive in situationships. They made me feel something. I’m also somewhere on the asexual spectrum. However last year i was hypersexual and used sex as self harm. So what’s my deal, cause i don’t get it. Now for the weirdest part. I really feel like I’m making this shit up. But as I mentioned, I liked and still like hanging out with boys. I just hate that they see me as a girl. I’ve always been jealous for the boy friend groups, even the girls who had those masc girl friends. I thought i might be bi, pan, gay, I don’t know anymore. I also hate being called a woman. Girl is fine. When I was growing up, there were many fandoms and shipping people involved. I absolutely loved the gay fanfics. I love them gay shows now as well. I find so much comfort in them. They portray all kinds of different emotions as well. But I kind of see men in my world from a gay man’s perspective. Does it make sense? Is it weird? I kind of want to become a man just so I can be in a relationship with one. But still i don’t wanna abandon my girl persona. I just want to be me, without any labels. But when I’m going to be in a relationship with a man it’s gonna look like a straight relationship and I don’t want that. I don’t want a man that’s gonna think I’m a full grown woman. I can’t just be with a girl as well, cause it’s going to be the same, just different label - a lesbian. Last year i cut my hair short, really short. I had a boy-ish mullet. I absolutely loved it, it made me look genderless, it was fun. But there were days when i was having meltdowns because i looked like a boy. I felt like i was no longer feminine and it was scary. I don’t know how to explain myself any differently. I can answer questions if anyone has them. I just want to know if there’s a term for anything I’m feeling? Am i just queer? Am I wrong or weird for feeling this way? Am I alone with my feelings?
Currently i’m sixteen and have recently begun taking testosterone blockers and estrogen to make myself physically and mentally feel better about myself, i’m only taking these until i get to a point where im comfortable with myself. Thing is, im worried about how i will be portrayed when im older, as in when im in my thirties and forties. I’ll still sound like a 16 year old, and physically im not sure how mature I’ll look. What do i do? What should i be thinking?
I remember seeing a study about the similarities between a cis woman and a trans woman's brain. How the shape of a trans woman's brain is practically identical to the shape of a cis woman's brain. Not even close to the shape of a cis man's brain.
So what does this mean for genderfluid people? What does a genderfluid person's brain look like? Is it a special shape? 😭
First one is a pretty common question I think, but I still want some clarification. I sometimes wish to try some things that are usually considered "feminine" that look appealing to me (such as some clothing, getting into cooking and baking, etc.) and a couple of times a week I feel like my soul, or heart, or however you want to put it, tells me I'm a girl. There's not really that much change in how I act or think or whatever, I literally just have the feeling that I'm a girl. With that in mind, how can one tell if they're genderfluid, and would I fit?
Here's the second one: How y'all handle voices? Do you train your voice and then switch it depending on how you feel? Do you just keep it the same and just reserve presentation for your physical appearance? Both???
Sorry if either of these have obvious answers, I just wanna be sure and ask myself.
I don't want to say I'm not a guy but I also want to be a girl and wear skirts and pass. Whys it so complicated
K. Today I'm having a massively fem day. When I finally got out of bed and decided to get out of my sleep clothes and I went to my clean clothes hamper, and then I saw my first dress (given to me by my sister). At that point I just thought I'm wearing this today, and I put it on. It has reminded me of the original euphoria when I got my first fem clothes. (Amab). I just wonder if other people have similar experiences with certain pieces of clothes?
hi everyone!!
I'm amab, and have always viewed gender as a performance that people conform to out of social expectations rather than out of true desire. I personally never felt any reason to not experiment with basic makeup, certain colours, and other things seen as "feminine", at least in ways that I was comfortable. In childhood, others being so against certain simple things like wearing pink always seemed ridiculously stupid to me.
I've never felt fully comfortable in my skin, but have gone through dips and peaks in my opinion on my body nearly daily for my whole life, and I'm realising that it might be specifically about my masculinity.
The way I look is quite masculine, and I sometimes am a fan, but other times, I absolutely detest it, and really want to be pretty and fem...
I'm trying to figure out all my feelings, and wanted to see if anyone can relate? Thanks all!!
When I first started to feel gender envy / identify that feeling in myself it was never a negative or bad feeling. It started out as seeing women and thinking I’d like to look like you, if I was a woman I’d have your style or look, I wish I was you, etc., thoughts like that. So basically it was always a sort of inspiration, but definitely still contained elements of jealousy and wishing I was them.
However lately I’ve been listening to Chappell Roan and certain songs are almost heartbreaking in the way they give me gender envy, and make me undeniably sad. They make me wish I was her, or had a life like hers, or was a person like her (or at least the person from the songs, you know what I mean). But then I think I’m not, I can’t be, I never have been and I never will be. And that kinda bums me out.
How does everyone else experience gender envy? Is it always a negative emotion, or a bit of both or just neutral?
I've been struggling to find actual good research into genderfluid people (For context I'm just regular ol' mtf trans) nothing against it, just nothing in favour of it either, am I missing something or are we like, completely devoid of any real research into genderfluid people? Best I could find was a survey
I need respondents for this survey! As I’m studying about connections between gender and health in general.
(marked nsfw just for the mention of packing)
for me, packing and binding while wearing feminine outfits (dresses, crop tops, heels, etc) is peak euphoria!!! it makes me feel the femininity i love while also being somewhat boyish to a point where transphobes love to ask me "are you a boy or a girl" or "which way are you trans" (confusing bigots is my ultimate goal in life)
anyways i feel like i cant be the only one who does these things to just seem annoyingly androgynous
edit: btw im calling them transphobes because nobody needs to know my exact gender. i shouldnt have to prove myself to you, especially if you're a stranger? very weird for adults to be wondering what's in my pants... just ask me my pronouns if you really want to know. which, don't pretend like i can only be "a boy or a girl". you're literally looking at a person with a very prominent mustache and no tits that's wearing a laced mini skirt and a bright pink backpack. the fact that you're confused means that there's no right answer lol
Any genderfluid individuals going through a hard time wanna share thoughts with another who understands?
So to start, I was born female and have felt like a boy since I was 5. I originally thought I was trans but started feeling more feminine recently. For some reason I only feel comfortable talking to strangers and other girls that are my friends about feminine stuff such as bra’s, periods, female hygiene, etc. I’m not sure why, but I always avoid the topic when around my mom or sister. But I enjoy being considered a girl by friends and strangers and I’m worried I’ll be judged for this. I’m not looking for anyone to be my online therapist or anything but I just wanna know if anyone else has any ideas as to how I can be more confident or possibly just feel better about myself. I still feel masculine a lot of the time and wish I was a male, then I’ll have times where I wish I could embrace my birth gender.
Hi all, thought I'd share an experience I just had. So I (40 amab) only came out as gf a few months ago and have been slowly introducing my fem side I to my socials. One of the sites I use is for the kink community and I recently updated my profile to a more fem picture and had shared some pics. Today I got a message from someone exclusively following accounts of cis females.
This is where the ewwwphoria kicks in. I'm used to getting these kinds of messages from guys interested in crossdressers and queer guys not from someone Interested in cis-women on here but as those messages are in response to my posts I'm looking for that kind of attention. In this case I hadn't invited the message and I assume this is the way this guy messages other women and I'm just like ewwww that's not how you message someone but also feeling kinda happy that I'm fem enough to be seen that way in my picture.
Anyway thank you for reading my experience of the day
It went great and was hilarious and I know i have a great relationship with my parents 🤣.