/r/ftm
Support-based discussion place focused on trans men, trans-masc individuals, and other people assigned female at birth who are trans.
(Respectful guests welcome. Use GuestPost flair)
Welcome to /r/ftm
, a support-based community.
Please check out our Wiki. It contains advice on questioning, coming out, passing, testosterone, surgery, legal proceedings and more; and contains various other resources and items of interest.
Another good place to look for a wealth of information is the ftm LiveJournal community.
This subreddit uses flairs. Check out this link for more details.
Includes Surgery | Excludes Surgery | Full Site |
---|---|---|
Discussion Only | Discussion Only | Remove Filter |
Pictures Only | Pictures Only | Remove Filter |
Just No Selfies | Self-Pics Only | Remove Filter |
Surgery Only | Just No Surgery | Remove Filter |
Be polite and practice mutual respect. Absolutely no personal attacks, insults, or threats. No discrimination.
If you criticize, make it constructive criticism.
Speak for yourself and not for others.
Respect individual differences. Among other things, this includes differences of identity, experiences of having or not having gender dysphoria, experiences of transition, and the choice to be out or stealth.
No body shaming. This includes personal and general judgments about weight, surgeries, and appearance.
No trolling and no reposting of trolling and/or transphobic content. Trolling includes posts or comments meant to elicit controversy or drama.
Do not post information or photos of another person without their permission. Exercise caution when sharing personal information - this is a public subreddit.
Business advertisements are prohibited. We also are currently not accepting any research requests. Users selling items or relevant need at reasonable prices or users soliciting free/lost cost items may post in our monthly Buy/Sell/Trade/Giveaway thread. Users fundraising may post in our monthly Fundraiser thread.
Flair your posts; Do not use the flairs "ModPost" or "Recurring" as they are reserved. If you edit content in a significant way, specify where you edited it. Follow Reddit's content policy. Some highlights: mark NSFW items as NSFW, do not post illegal content, do not create a new account to avoid a ban.
Selfies, Selfie-similar pictures, graphical art, random pics of your cat and vocal range images may only be posted in the appropriate dedicated, recurring threads. Check here for a history list of recurring threads sorted by new. The only allowed pics are surgery related and product review related. Any in those categories should be well-marked with the relevant details and should not be advertisements in any way. They are meant to be informative.
Medical Disclaimer
The members of this subreddit do not act as medical professionals. We only provide general information about medical transition, which may be misleading for your individual circumstances. This information is not intended nor recommended as a substitute for medical advice. Always seek the advice of your qualified health care provider regarding any medical questions.
Autumn 2015 Subreddit Survey Results
/r/ftm
calling me patient would be a lie so heavy that god himself couldnt forgive it - i hate waiting. i need everything done asap, pronto, yesterday. my first time having hrt was a huge mess that barely brought any change after a year (mostly a lack of expertise with my endo at the time). i restarted this year and like every other guy with a .2 second waiting span i felt like changes were dragging, until somehow i realized the more i thought about it, the more itd suck
tonight i took a good hard look and myself and woah
take the photos, do the voice memos, schedule the videos, even just journal your changes. as hard as it is, i promise the changes are coming. i know, after everything we deal with pre-t it just feels much longer, but it goes by so fast. im not done with my transition, but the joy of knowing things are changing and getting to see the change is something that has genuinely made living so much easier
as someone who couldnt wait one more second, i would do it all over again if it means i get to start loving myself as much as i am right now
I usually never pack despite owning THREE packers because to me it's always been uncomfortable and I've always been too anxious to leave the house. Anyways I tried it out again since it's the middle of the night and dysphoria has been kicking my ass and it made me realize the point I guess? It's not about the bulge to me but just the feeling of SOMETHING there. Ultimate euphoria. 10/10
So I used to swim on a team a couple times per week with a group of adults. I took a break and had top surgery. I used to wear a one piece suit from beefcake swimwear. It was pretty gender neutral but caused me a lot of dysphoria because there was no compression in the chest.
I don't know of I should just buy the same type of swimsuit and keep wearing a one piece suit because people knew me with a chest and it would hide my scars...or if I should just be brave and wear my scars and find some mens suits for lap swimming.
What would you guys do?
Hi all, I only joined this community recently as I'm figuring out my identity. At the moment, I'm pretty sure I want to be a dude, which is both insanely scary and so so exciting.
I think I'd like to go on T at some point, but I'm still figuring things out and the process in my country to start T would take 1-3 years. I'm 26 now, and quite feminine. I see a lot of people taking T a lot earlier on and I'm a little unsure of what the result would be for me taking T (relativity) late. Am I gonna look like a boy in puberty at 30? 💀🫣
Any advice or answers from people starting on T in their thirties or later would be much appreciated!
Cheers, E
I'm 14 and I've now i wanted to be a bit since I was 10 or 11. I repressed it for like a year or two and then started trying to pass recently. And I just feel so shitty about it. I'm so short and I'm so skinny and my hips are so big and clothes don't fit me the way they fit cis biys and I hate it so much. I don't understand why I'm like this and others aren't. I don't understand what crime I could've possibly committed to be punished this badly. I hate this so much.. I hate that I have a biological sex. Does it ever get better..?
couldn’t decide flair. surgery talk but i want advice???? marked as NSFW just in case
im of age for top surgery next summer (2025), but my birthday is right before school starts and im going into college. would the better option be talking to people about it and trying to find someone near me that would take me?
w: female anatomy
another thing 😓. i started talking to a (cis) girl. she knows im trans. i dont know if i want her seeing me before i get surgery - id be fine in a binder MAYBE but im not happy with how i look down there. i dont want phallo or anything but my labia are longer than normal? and it genuinely ruins everything. i cant look at myself and the thought of anyone seeing it makes me want to throw up. the age limit for that surgery is also 18 but that would mean i’d have to wait until next years’ christmas.
warning over
if i legally have to wait then i will, obviously. but the whole thing with the girl is freaking me out.
She’s goin to town on it rn. It’s pretty cute. That’s all
I recently made a similar post on the r/askgaybros subreddit and was met with alot of gross transphobia. I've come here with the intention of asking for advice from people that will validate my partner's identity. Thank you in advance!
I've (23 gay cis man) been in a long term relationship with my current boyfriend (26 bi ftm) for almost three years and I love him very much. I feel seen by him in ways I never was with other partners, and being with him has helped me grow into the best version of myself. I also find him very attractive and sexy. I have no plans of leaving him, and would never cheat or do anything to hurt him.
With that being said, I miss sex with cis men. No one in particular, but just giving head and bottoming specifically. While he's been very open to topping me with a strap, it isn't quite the same and takes on a different dynamic. It requires more effort, and doesn't really do anything for him beyond the mental satisfaction of making me feel good. While it's very sweet that he's willing to do it for me, I think there's something to be said about being wanted in that way.
Another relevant aspect of our relationship is that we're long distance and only get to see eachother for a few months per year. Opportunities to experiment with eachother can be limited, leaving it unresolved for months on end when we're apart.
There's alot of guilt that comes up in even acknowledging these feelings in myself, because I've never felt so loved, and would never want to make him feel like he's not enough. That isn't the case. I want to spend my life with this man, but I'm nervous that these feelings could grow or turn into resentment if left unaddressed.
I recently talked about this with him, and he handled it with so much grace. We're open to exploring our options to address this issue, and while nothing is strictly off the table, we'd like to explore other options before experimenting with an open relationship.
Have any of you guys encountered a similar situation with your partners? How have you addressed it? Have any of you explored open relationships? If so, did you have any reservations and did it end up being good for you? I would appreciate any insight you guys can give to help ensure our relationship stays sustainable for us.
I'm asian, 19 yo, 3.5 months on T at that time. I was wearing a hoodie and had the hood on, and these 2 white men around age of 21-24 (could be younger) called me sir (under normal context). Like, ok, that felt slightly good but also confusing, cause i know that i look young, esp more so to white people since im asian lmao
So i just wanted to ask yall why it could've happened here
Hello everyone!
I’ve recently started using TransTape and so far I’ve tried a couple of different methods on ways to put it on. Does anyone have any advice on how to eliminate the god awful pain in between my chest from my skin being pulled? I know the obvious answer would be to not pull the tape so far to the side, but if I do it any looser, I wouldn’t get the full “flat” effect that i’m looking for. I have a medium sized chest so binding isn’t really the best option for me because I get extremely uncomfortable when I’m wearing any sort of tight clothing. Also looking for any tips on the easiest way to remove the tape once I’ve had it on for a few days. I’m extremely new to this so any tips would be great. I appreciate you all <3
I'm 20 FtM, and currently visiting my best friend at her small women's college. We went to the same college up until May and had to transfer, unfortunately to different schools.
I started transitioning in March and I'm now living my life as a man almost fully (few exceptions). And she said its almost trippy how different I look. I've also been given dirty looks using the women's only bathrooms here as I'm in her dorm right now.
I didn't realize just how different I looked until she pointed it out and I was floored. I now commute to college and go to school as a man and work as a man. I do have to be a butch lesbian at home though.
I'm so shocked. I didn't think it could happen so fast. And transitioning is the best choice I've ever made.
I’ve been on testosterone for close to a year now, I was on gel for 8 months with no results and my levels only being in the 250s. I switched to injections about 3 months ago and was on testosterone cypionate for a month at 0.25 ml or 50 mg and my levels went up to the mid-300s. After that, I switched over to xyosted (fear of needles 😁) which is an auto-injector and the dose is 0.5ml or 75 mg of testosterone enanthate and haven’t checked my levels since but have been noticing a lot of good changes! However, I do my shots Monday morning but since switching I’ve noticed that I’ll wake up sick (?) Monday morning. Mostly a weird feeling in my throat and some headaches and nausea. The past 2/3 weeks it seems to have gotten worse and I’ll usually throw up Monday night. This week I switched to doing my shot on Sunday to see if maybe that would help but it’s Monday night and I have a pounding headache and am so nauseous. I have no idea if it correlates to my T shot and I’m worried I may be having some type of reaction but the timing feels off for it to be an allergy. The sickness usually wears off my Tuesday night/Wednesday. I don’t know if this is just some weird side effect or if my T dose might be too high (?). Has anyone else experienced something similar? I get my levels checked in about 2 weeks and have a check-in with my Dr. in about a month but don’t know if this is something I should talk to someone sooner about. I’ve done some googling and haven’t encountered anyone experiencing something similar.
I’m personally looking into keyhole surgery but it would be nice to hear everyone’s experiences. Generally I have a fine pain tolerance but I wanna be prepared
This is crazy quick if this is happening already, I haven’t even had a voice drop really or facial hair growth. My crown looks somewhat thin and I can see my scalp. I’ve also been seeing around 30 hairs every other shower in the drain which seems excessive for me. I don’t really shed too much elsewhere though. My front hair looks thick and doesn’t seem to be receding but the crown area does. My boyfriend said he doesn’t think it has changed much since he has known me but I’m getting nightmares over this and my anxiety has been getting worse. I’m trying to see a dermatologist to get Fin and hope it helps but I think I might stop T if it doesn’t. It just seems so unfair to have this issue already. How soon for those of you who lost your hair or are losing your hair did you notice after you started T?
so lately my voice has been like feeling very squek-ish in the way that makes it sound like im struggling, which in a way i am bc ive had just rlly dry mouth to the point where if i talk a lot i get a sore throat. ive been trying my best to drink water but it just seems like i always need hydration but nothings working :( i have been on .3mL t once a week for abt 2 1/2 months now so its very exciting but also scary seeing how many changes ive already noticed
CW: Brief mention of sexual activity
The more I realize my body isn't male the sadder I get when I'm thinking about it. I feel like I mostly feel disappointed I want to fix it because having the chance to actually be closer to a male body with surgeries is amazing and makes me feel better. Like I can't imagine going through my whole entire life not having that body.
I just feel like I usually feel as if something's missing and not that I can't look at myself. I guess that's good? But then it also makes me feel bad and I've cried about it and when I'm in tune with myself or shirtless I feel bad. And I would feel so dysphoric if I ever had sex like even thinking about sex without me having something similar to what cis men have.
But idk
I fiddled with making my own STPs this entire last year, iterating through a bunch of ideas until I hit a decent solution (for me, at least). I'm trying to figure out which is the best sub(or even if mods would allow me to post pics to this post perhaps?) in order to go about sharing this. It's a cheap DIY stand to pee solution made from a stencil drawn onto silicone rubber sheeting that is glued together in a specific way that also is small enough to fold into a small pocket. Not to toot my own horn here, but it really fits the bill perfectly for me, and I suspect it might for some others too.
I know I'm a new user and images and links to imgur is not allowed on r/ftm, does anybody have any idea where I should go about sharing this? It's a collection of images of how to assemble it, an image of a stencil with a reference sized sheet of paper, as well as a link to a 3d printing site (Printables) for a 3d-printable stencil.
Thanks for any and all responses!
I never had any libido or desire for intimacy and thought I was asexual but now that I realized I'm trans I've suddenly developed one. I'm not on T but just wanted to know if it was a running thing.
Just curious on what y'all do to feel sexy(like grooming, clothing, actions you or your partner can do, etc). Pre transition I would heavily groom and wear lingerie. Now its harder to find masculine lingerie(recommendations welcome) and I prefer to just do some basic trimming. Me and my partner switching power balances and topping frequently is also very sexy to me.
so i've got an interview for a job tomorrow, but none of my binders smell too hot. its too late to wash them - they take more than a day to dry (i don't have a hair dryer or anything to speed up the process). i know there's the vodka trick people use on clothes, but i don't have any of that. is there anything i can do to freshen them up?
Ok so….pheromones might be the wrong word but here it goes…I have a female cat who’s about 4 now. I know this might sound crazy but she isn’t neutered/spayed, and although she would be come clingy and annoying while in heat clinginess it was never a huge problem since it never lasted too long.
And since it’s also kind of expensive it’s not in my top list of priorities.
I was using t-gel for over a year and recently switched to injections. It’s been about a month.
The first time i took my shot the day i came home she curled up on me, and ever since that day she has been more affectionate, which is weird because she has never been affectionate!
In the past if i stroked her head, or scratch behind her ears too much she would smack me lol. But now she walks around my apartment meowing like crazy until i either pick her up and sit her in my lap or lay down so she can curl on my chest. Am i crazy? Or overthinking?
I fiddled with making my own STPs this entire last year, iterating through a bunch of ideas until I hit a decent solution (for me, at least). I'm trying to figure out which is the best sub(or even if mods would allow me to post pics to this post perhaps?) in order to go about sharing this. It's a cheap and foldable stand to pee solution made from a stencil drawn onto silicone rubber sheeting that is glued together in a specific way that also is small enough to fold into a small pocket. Not to toot my own horn here, but it really fits the bill perfectly for me, and I suspect it might for some others too.
I know this sub doesn't like image or link posts, so does anybody have any idea where I should go about sharing this? It's a collection of images of how to assemble it, an image of a stencil with a reference sized sheet of paper, as well as a link to a 3d printing site (Printables) for a 3d-printable stencil.
Thanks for any and all responses!
Maybe this is just a rant but I’ve now been in multiple situationships where I’ve put in 100% effort and was doing all the bf stuff… they’ve seemed like they were okay w me being trans… but they did not want to commit to me. I don’t want to relate this to being trans, but also there was this girl I was friends w/messing w and she basically told me when she was talking to other dudes she’d say stuff like “oh dont worry bout him he’s trans”… like um??? Girl you just fucked me???…and it just made me wonder if women see me as like a guy who’s nice and treats them well just until they get a ‘real man’. Maybe its just an issue with me, but damn dating is hard. Some cis men have too much audacity and I think I need more. I remember when I was younger I was sure I’d have a wife and kids by like 28 cause that was old to me. Now I’m 24 and not even sure I’d be able to have kids.
I used to be really into swimming as a kid and swam competitively, but I quit during puberty for obvious reasons. I want to get back into it, but you couldn't make me swim without a binder if you paid me.
I know GC2B binders are swim-safe, but I don't really feel comfortable swimming in just that, I'd much rather use a swim shirt. However, I can't imagine trying to swim and getting any decent time with a binder and swim shirt layered. Is there such thing as a binder-shirt somewhere with a swim-safe fabric? Preferably on the affordable end of things but if it's high quality I can make an investment. This seems like prime territory for a startup lol.
For my fellow skinnier guys, how much and/or how quickly (if any) did you gain weight taking testosterone? I'm 95lbs and 5'6(with a very fast metabolism), I want to gain weight for health reasons and I'm wondering what to expect, and if you have any tips for healthy ways to gain weight.
I'm too young to take T and currently trying everything in my power to appear more masculine. Will rubbing beard shampoo/conditioner on my face help me try to grow facial hair? If not, please share tips on how to appear more masculine🙏🏻😔 (I'm a chubby female and still in school)
I'M OUT TO MY BEST FRIEND!!!! I'm so happy she supports me x333 I'm so lucky to have her. I came out to her as transmasc with a slideshow I made telling her my preferred name and pronouns and thanking her for everything shes every done for me!!! (Now it's gonna kinda turn into a rant and TW:SH) she is literally the best person in my life!! When I was in a rly dark point in my life last year, she helped guide me through all of my pain and stress. (Here's the part where I get a bit into what was happening so TW) I was basically hurting myself NONSTOP I accidentally made a joke about sh one day at school, and she was very familiar with the subject. I can't remember exactly what I said but it went along the lines of breaking a sharpener. She then asked why I said that and I panicked and said sorry... She asked if I was okay and I said idk honestly. She then asked if I actually did that and I said yes. She went on to say that she does/did the same thing and that she understood and wasn't upset. After that we were WAY closer. I love her so much and she isn't gonna see this because she doesn't have Reddit XD but I am so happy she supports me and is letting me take my time to tell the rest of my friend group. <3
Other than Jazz Jennings. Trans kids are talked about so much but we never hear about what happens to them once they grow up. Does anyone know of anyone who transitioned as a kid and now shares their story as an adult? They do not have to be popular. I just think it would be interesting to hear their perspective.
i am straight but I am small and it doesn’t help that my ass is big. people just assume i’m gay. not trans which i guess is a win but they assume im gay. i don’t have anything against being gay, it’s just im not. i’m 5 months on T i believe and passing 100% and have since month 3. My voice has dropped lower than some of my straight cis friends. Which is like why do they think i’m gay cause no offense but stereotypes. again not trying to be offensive. is it because i acutely listen to what people have to say and i care about feelings?? i just don’t know how to not be called gay.
like the title says, i went for my second T shot today, im on primoteston every 3 weeks. anyway while i was waiting for my doctor to call me in, this boy comes out so excited bc he just got his T prescription, and my gf and i just looked at each other and smiled bc it was such a good thing to witness. whoever you are brother, congrats!