I’m watching a show about the backlash from Ellen coming out. Same old story. It’s not much different today.

I think it’s pretty well established that people can’t change their sexuality. Conversion therapy has never worked. It seems that even the most conservative of people accept this.

What do they want us to do? Are we supposed to just not act on our gayness? Do they want us to be celibate and have lots of pets? If we do stay away from each other as life partners, would they like us then? I really don’t understand what they want from us. Does anyone know what they actually want from us?

i feel like i always take on a masculine energy in my wlw relationships, or my partners expect me to take on a masc role in the relationship. just because im not super feminine doesnt mean i dont want to be treated as such. any other tomboys feel this way? btw im not like a super masc or anything lol i think im more feminine than androgynous, and at the very least masc presenting. its just my personality, but ik tons of tomboys in straight relationships who obv take on a fem role in the relationship so im just confused

I went to a gay beach bar in Torremolinos and low and behold i spot Dani Robles, with i assume is his husband or Bf and their 2 adorable sausage dogs. Does anyone know if he lives here? He seemed like a super nice guy.

My bf has his own business and is pretty successful. We're currently long distance for a bit, but he's moving back to me in a couple of weeks.

I recently started my own. I sometimes ask his questions but don't rely on him for constant advice. It's just that if you know someone who knows what they're doing, it's natural to go to them and although I am beginning to build a network, I don't have anyone else I can talk to about this stuff. It's a pretty lonely path!

Well, I've found that he has a tendancy to go all Gordon Ramsay at the most simple things. If I make a mistake or try things out my own way, he becomes confrontational, rather than supportive and encouraging.

Today, he told me my whole pricing strategy was wrong - I didn't ask for this but appreciated the feedback. We had a call, and he ended up shouting at me as if I was an employee... or kitchen nightmare participant.

It makes me feel anxious. I really value his feedback but he just doesn't have the emotional intelligence to deliver it.

What should I do? I love him, but it often feels like a vibe killer. I worry about what its going to be like once we're living together again.

A lot of downer posts lately. I thought we could all use some positive vibes.

Personally, I love how it has skewed my perspective on the world. Have you ever seen the movie They Live? Being gay feels like I’m wearing those glasses all the time. I feel a tad smarter and more aloof than the straights.

I'm the guy who made the post about a surgeon calling me "mutated albino". Since many guys thought that my characteristics could be interesting I decided to make this post to tell about how this affects my dating life.

I'm Greek. Greeks are typically (not always) with black or brown hair and same goes for the eyes. My parents have dark brown hair and same goes for my brother. I was born with white eyebrows (or maybe way too bleached), my facial hair have various shades of blonde and my hair are light brown (mostly) with some parts that are blonder. My eyes blue and my skin is pale. It's not extremely pale but it's pale. They had me tested back then for albinism but the results were negative. When I was in med school I was asked many times if I'm an albino and I said it seems that not based on these results and did not do anything more to search it (genetics have progressed a lot). I don't tan I only turn red. My skins hates the sun.

Now after that intro some things about my dating life

When I was 18+ I was super closeted (we're talking about Greece, remember?). I had two issues: a) when somebody saw me he wouldn't forget. How many albino-looking gays would you meet in Greece's gay apps? b) They thought that I was a fake. Like somebody would take the photo of I don't know a "north" guy and said it was his c) I can't tolerate the sun. If people would ask me to go out in summer during noon in an outside space, I just can't. I will wear a hat, glasses, even long sleeves. I get burnt, it hurts. Oh and I'm also rather hairy and my body hair is white.

Generally people liked me (those who would respond I mean). Sometimes i felt like they treated me as an exotic animal (I'm a domestic one). I have to say that gay guys liked me more than straight women. I suppose other factors can get in the way. If they thought about me having a genetic defect maybe they didn't want something serious for me. There's also a tendency that guys being pale, white, blonde etc are weak or not manly enough (I mean for my place not in general)

I like the way I look but not from the beginning. I think it makes me different. In the past I had dyed my hair and my eyebrows and I was just like my brother (we almost look the same minus the colors). A hairdresser told me that whoever dared to dye my hair/eyebrows should be banned from the country. She actually helped me accept it.

At school I had been bullied quit a bit. They've been calling me names. The usual type of bullying that was happening (at least back then) was either being called fat (it's funny that in a country full of obesity children call one another fat with an offensive mood) or gay (in a ruder word). But I was not fat, I was almost on the other side. I did not "look gay". I looked white. I've been called snowhite, Yeti, walking corpse, milky. Whoever doesn't remember my name calls me the albino.

I always feel like I'd love the idea of having the guy cum in my mouth when they're close during anal but then the thought of all the bacteria/poop in my mouth turns me off.

Do you do it? How risky is it really?

But I failed and sent one of it to the wrong person. Worst feeling of my life.

My boyfriend (29M) and I (26M) are flying across the country and basically we were 4 minutes late to check our luggage.... so we had to take it through tsa screening. I had all my lube, cleaner, dildos, penetrable toy, etc.... well of course it gets flagged. They all start laughing at us and EVERYONE can see what's on the screen. They cause a commotion about it. Teasing the girl that was checking our bags and everything. She said to her cowkrkers "God yall, it's just a bag check. You act like you've never "seen one" before" of course to everyone passing through security they could see exactly what was happening, what we had etc.... she takes all the toys out the bags and lays them on a counter pulls out my tiny bottle of cleaner that I forgot to toss and says "I guess you can keep it". I'm standing there red as a beet just dying of humiliation. Locking eyes with passerbys, and tsa agents making jokes and cracking up about it. Definitley made me feel shitty. Then we missed the flight. So here I am sitting in ATL rather than Denver because some tsa agents couldn't stop making jokes about my private items. I can't believe they aren't more professional about all this. And I honestly can't believe they don't pull a privacy curtain. Like.... I don't care that much about the tsa people seeing that stuff.... but EVERY SINGLE man woman and child who walked by could see it. That's traumatic. Anyway.... that's my rant. Thanks for reading.

I never want to have kids and I would be perfectly content with that, I just want a husband who we can share great adventures with, but how do I develop a fulfilling relationship with someone while not compromising that aspect of my life?

When should I bring it up and how should I bring it up to him? What could I offer to him to make his life fulfilling? What could I do to make him happy with our life together? And what could we do in order to keep our life exciting and memorable whole being forever childless?

This is purely hypothetical as I don’t have a partner right now, but I was just wondering what I should do with my life in order to have a husband and only.

Any advice would be appreciated!

Hey everyone, I have been considering finally getting out and start meeting and dating this summer l but I've have some questions. since I've more recently come out of the closet, I haven't dated men yet. how do the dating dynamics work? typically it's they go out and the guy pays for a meal with a girl. I don't want to mess something up or be unprepared, and I don't have anyone else to help show me what to do. 🙏🙏

So(!) I’m balding and I have no idea how to cope. Right now I’m on finasterid, but there can be some heavy side effects.

I feel like there is a lot of pressure in the gay community about your appearance and I’m actually not sure if I’m willing to say fuck it about the side effects just to still be fuckable 😅🥲like Grindr can be hard enough after 30 even with hair. Like I’m still kind of cute, but I’m not 20 anymore.

I also feel like wether balding is a problem or not differs depending on whether you’re a top or a bottom. Like it can be seen as more masculine and attractive for a top, while it’s more difficult for a bottom to be bald? I know it’s quite stereotypical.

So any bald gays in this sub (especially bottoms 😬) who can tell me your experience?

I was wondering this. I never tried but wonder if anyone does that? Also what does it taste like?

United Methodist Church Reverses Ban on Gay Clergy https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/01/us/methodist-church-gay-ban-lgbtq.html?smid=nytcore-android-share

I wish I could have been straight, I love men don’t get me wrong but I have so many nice and incredible straight female friends. Life would have been so much easier if I could have just been straight, for example: I’ve had a lot of my gfs say that they would date me if I wasn’t gay , I would have been accepted by the boys I went to school with , I wouldn’t have to worry about any of that I also don’t really like the gay dating scene because it’s literally just talking to a guy until you realise that really all they wanna do is get into your pants .

I'm looking for queer friends, or ways to find queer friends in my area, I belive it will help me out mentally, I live in Oregon, about 25 mins from the eugene/Springfield area and 20 minutes from the Albany area, is there anyone (age 18-19) who would be willing, or anyone who knows of any events coming up in that area. I know albany pride is coming up in June (on the 22nd I think)

Any good recommendations?

So, I'm straight, so far. I'm in highschool, I'm male, I'm 17, and I've had a couple relationships (with women) and I've had sex once and it was alright but not anything crazy, like yeah sure she was hot and I liked looking at her body, but if a guy had a similar shape and was feminine then I would see no problem with it either. There is this cute guy who's gay, and one day I looked over my shoulder and we accidentally locked eyes and that was the first time I felt that I would date a guy if he looked like that. So basically, is it gay to be romanticly interested in guys if they're cute? Like ugly guys or masculine guys I'm not attracted to, but this guy is feminine and cute. Now this is very uncharacteristic of me, I've never had these feelings before but I can't really ignore the fact that I'm still thinking about this guy. I'm currently in a relaxed relationship with a girl who's friends with this guy, so when I hang out with her I see him and genuinely feel attracted to him. So what's the diagnosis? Am I gay fellas?

Also, if I did date a guy I would lose all of my friends, probably lose my job, and my family would disown me. So I have to consider that.

Edit: So many responses, thank you for all the great responses and advice. I've read all of the comments and I'm so thankful to have people tell me that it's fine to feel this way but to not feel obligated to label myself. Much wisdom here and I feel that this has helped a lot, I think I'll wait until I start renting a place and I'll ask that guy out. I've realized that I've always felt this way but never thought about it because my environment made it seem like it wasn't even an option due to it's brash nature. Thank you very much everyone <3

Does anyone know why Grindr shows some pictures in super low quality?

It makes me think the pictures are downloaded from google. There is a guy who dm'd me who is extremely hot. His profile picture is very blurry the nude he send to initiate our conversation (🙄) was also very blurry. The second picture that i had to ask for was also very blurry and was a picture of him half standing in a pool. But the body in that picture didn't look the same as the body in the nude. He asked for my nudes but i don't take nudes so i said i didn't have any. I did send some normal pictures of myself before hand. But he seemed to lose interest once he knew i didn't want to send him nudes. But i think he is a catfish anyway. 🤷‍♂️

So 4 weeks ago I had anal sex with this guy. I don't usually bottom so I was pretty nervous. He said he'd help me relax with rimming etc.. At some point he started rubbing his penis on my hole. I thought okay better be careful now. Even though we had talked about safe sex he then decided to try and enter me with no condom. At first I didn't realise but soon I felt him try to get in for a few seconds. (5-10 seconds) I then stopped and said better use a condom. He agreed. We then used a condom and that was it.

Now 4 weeks later I regret not making my limits more clear. It is the fifth week and now I'm ill with pain while swallowing and fatigue, headaches. Whether this has to do with what happened a month ago or if I just caught strep throat is irrelevant since I'm currently panicking about it anyway. I don't ever want to let people use me like this again. I'm so scared to draw the line sometimes. Have you ever experienced something similar?

I totally get betting the pipe cleaned, and I understand gradual stretching before you can take a cock. Does anyone have any advice apart from use lube and go slow?

Upvote1Downvote0comments

Beer with Italian Sea Salt, tastes like watery cum!

I have three fwbs, and none of them are interested to have a monogamous relationship. One guy whom I really like (we hang out together, and planning to travel together) seems not interested to change our status quo either despite our great chemistry in everything.

I can see growing old with multiple partners and none of them will ever end up as a relationship.

Is it actually a sad thing? It seems monogamous relationship is an exception in gay dating.

There's a totally stupid person at where I work. We're in a hospital and I'm a resident. He's a surgeon (consultant -which means higher in position but I'm an anesthesiologist not a surgery resident). He has many flaws. He's called me several names including fagot. Our rivalry begun when he started calling someone else a fagot and I told him that his medieval opinions do not concern us.

He has been calling me several names inspired from the notion that I'm gay. I think part of his "anger" is that he did not take me for a gay before saying so. That made him somehow suspicious that there are some gays in disguise or whatever.

Now something about me. I'm a little weird when it comes to color. I'm Greek. Greeks usually have brown hair (or black). I'm blonde as fuck (with some darker brown hair at parts). My eyebrows are totally white. My facial hair have three colors I'd say (white, blonde and some brown hair), my skin is pale (not too pale yet pale for a greek). My eyes are blue. My father is just like me except that his hair is black. Same goes for my brother. They thought that I could have alpinism but all the tests were negative (back then).

No back to the dude. I told him that this is no way to treat a colleague. He said that he was trying been kind to me. The first thing that somebody thinks when sees me is to say that I'm a mutated albino. Being gay seems way less abnormal than that.

I was always happy about my hair/facial hair color. I believed it was a touch of uniqueness. I do believe that there's something with my melanin gene and I'm sort of an albino but being called mutated and names is just bad. However something feels bad inside me. I've dealt with homophobics before but this was different.

I had been talking to this guy for a while on Grindr and we were quite eager to meet, but timing was never okay. We eventually met at my place one day my flatmates weren’t around. I topped and wore a condom first, but he said it was hurting him. I’ve bottomed many times and I’ve felt that pain, sometimes it feels like a plastic bag is scratching your insides.

In the heat of the moment, I ended up taking off the condom because he kept asking for it. Well, a week later I’m seeing a white liquid coming out of my penis and a burning sensation when I pee. I go to the doctor and it’s gonorrhea.

I just felt so stupid at that moment. I hardly ever have sex and, when I do, I wear protection. The one time I don’t wear protection I get an STD. I spoke to this guy after and he told me to calm down. I’m really scared I might have also gotten HIV from him. I can’t even sleep because I’m so traumatised and have no one to share this with

Edit: he has now told me he’s positive for HIV but undetectable. I’m freaking out!!!