/r/gay

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r/gay is for everyone in the LGBTQIA+ spectrum. Divisive posts or comments intended to "Drop the T" or other such drivel will result in an instant ban and mute.

United we stand against hate, no quarter shall be given.

Welcome

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We are an inclusive community based on pride and support. Ask, share, discuss.

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RULES:

  1. No pornography. There are other subs for that content, so seek them out if you wish. THIS INCLUDES ALL AI ART OF CELEBRITIES, OR ANYONE ELSE!!

  2. No hate. Trolling will get you banned. Hate of any type will not be tolerated. Political discussions will be heavily monitored by mods. No abusive language, harassment, or toxic material. Follow Reddit's Content Policy and Reddiquette or else your post will be locked or removed entirely.

  3. No soliciting. No OnlyFans, GoFundMe, NO BATH HOUSE POSTS (100% unsafe sex that spread the AIDS/HIV Epidemic), personal ads, hookup posts, Discord, blogs, etc. No personal information either: phone numbers, email, TikToks, Snap, etc.

  4. No selfies. All of y'all are eye candy beautiful, but we can't let selfies flood the sub. There are other subs for gay selfies and eye candy.

  5. No underage. Underage users, please use r/LGBTeens (160k+), r/GayBroTeens (11k+), r/BisexualTeens (137k+), or r/teengirlswholikegirls (12k+) for advice.

  6. No unapproved surveys/polls. Send research requests to the mod team for approval first.

  7. Moderator Discretion. We reserve the right to moderate as we deem fit. This varies from mod to mod.

 


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/r/gay

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0

Drake sex

I’ve heard a lot from my straight colleagues that drake is the only dick they would suck. That they’ve had dreams of eating his ass and imagining everything. 😡 the bias these so called cool guys emphasize is beyond cringe. i’m bisexual and I don’t even feel comfortable coming out to these dudes with their homophobic jokes, rhetoric, and attitudes they have towards it. So why are they saying this so comfortably amongst everyone on lunch breaks?

0 Comments
2024/06/25
02:04 UTC

1

Let's Talk about Fire Island for Pride Month!

So back in 2022, you may have heard of the movie Fire Island, an asian centric movie that introduced us to gay “pride and prejudice” and most of us to the ever-so-gorgeous Zane Philips. The film follows a group of gay friends spending a week on the island with the main character Noah trying to get his best friend laid. I really liked the movie! I tried to get a friend to watch it with me but they got cold feet after reading some negative reviews. 

But this is not about the movie. While the movie came and went, I couldn't get this island off my mind.

I mean I've lived over 20 years of my life and never heard of this place before this movie; and keep in mind I read all about the history of Stonewall from the Ann Bausum book back in high school. On paper, it almost feels like somewhere between a fever dream and a materialized sanctuary back then. And the lore is just full of rivalry, late-night fun of the more mature variety, and even murder!! Well, I mean there was a man who was killed accidentally in a sex-related incident, but still!

To this day, no one can reach an agreement on where the origin of the name Fire Island came from. One story goes, it comes from when boats would get shipwrecked on the island and the survivors would light fires on the coast to signal others on the midland, letting them know they were stranded. Another story goes that pirates used to live there and they would light fires, same as the survivors' story, but when ships would come over to help they would murder and rob them for all they had. Think creepy girl crying in the corner but less obvious and… strange enough, easier to fall for.  Now because of all the talk about pirates living on the island, there is a rumor that treasure is hidden somewhere on the island. Though I highly doubt it’s true. And even if it were, someone must have found it by now. 

Fire Island's origins go all the way back to the early 1900s. Families would come over to the island and either rent out a home or buy huge stretches of land for settlements on the island. Now back in the day, they didn't have electricity, running water, or garbage services on the island. They mostly had to pump water from atop the houses, burn kerosene at night for heat and lighting, and kind of sweep any garbage they had accumulated into man-made holes in the ground. 

I'm not sure when Fire Island became the place we know it as today, but the earliest I've heard was the late 1940s after World War 2, when locals would stop using their houses for the summer - leaving it open for rentals. Younger people ranging from 18 to their early 30s started to see the island’s potential as a fun getaway that provided a kind of freedom from the oppressive structure that came from living in the city. By the 60s the place had started to get a reputation - a magical, sinful place where cute shirtless boys hold hands at the beach while inhibitions dissolved and flowed away with the water. In its prime, the island even attracted a fair share of celebrity visits that, similar to GLEE, would later come out as LGBT or powerful allies such as Liza Minelli, Donna Summer, Mart Crowley, and Marilyn Monroe. 

But more than any of that, what ran rampant across the land was SEX. Something interesting I found while looking into this island was the Meat Rack. Trust me, It sounds scarier than it is. So the Meat Rack, sometimes just known as “the rack”, was a path outdoors that went from the pines to the grove where gay men would… do the hanky panky and get turned around. There was said to at one point in time have been a Donut Rack, which honestly sounds way better than the Meat Rack, and it was the same concept as the Meat Rack but, you know, for the gworlz. Unfortunately, it's never been confirmed and even outright denied by some, so it's probably safe to say it's just a made-up story. [side note: it doesn’t have to be, is all I'm saying…]

 If you’re like me you probably came to think that because it was a secluded island full of queer people during the time, it was like night and day to what things were like at that time in the city. And in a lot of ways it was; the liberation that was experienced wasn't a lie. But unfortunately, while things were not so bad in Cherry Grove compared to the city it still had its fair share of problems. With its fair share of notoriety over the years, some homophobic visitors would come to the island to do gay bashings back in the day. It got so bad that at one point you had to confirm you were staying with someone on the island before you were let off the boat. Occasionally, the police would come over by ferry and do a raid on Fire Island. People would constantly get arrested in the Meat Rack and paraded on the docks the next day as a way of humiliating the people discovered there the previous night. They would Even post their names, numbers, and addresses in the paper which I can only imagine fueled anonymous harassment in those days. 

As far as the island's involvement in the early gay liberation movement for the LGBT movement, there doesn't seem to be any. While the island did provide a sense of liberation you couldn't find in the city, its seclusion from the rest of civilization ended up contributing to its complacency. If I had to explain it in a way that makes sense, I would say that fire island was gay people escaping the reality they found themselves in, whereas the Stonewall Riots and the march in Washington were queer people facing reality head-on and saying they had enough. I think it’s safe to say that the utopian illusion that was or is Fire Island contributed to this self-satisfied feeling of “Why would we be upset? Is something wrong?” and that is not to dogpile on the visitors and residents of Fire Island and paint them that as selfish or self-centered or whatever. I'm just saying that it can be so easy to get caught up in the glamour of Fire Island being a sanctuary that you may not so readily see the problems outside of that bubble. 

Either way, paradise couldn't last forever as the aids epidemic was introduced. No place was spared from the epidemic, including Fire Island where hundreds of its yearly visitors and residents were dying, and thus, the island’s vitality was never the same. As men were primarily dying from the virus, lesbians were able to buy properties due to the new availability shifting the island from a dominantly male to female demographic. The Meat Rack, while still active, has died down significantly since its heyday; which can also partly be blamed on social media like Grindr and Scruff making the need for it obsolete. 

Today Fire Island is more or less a quiet place similar to Provincetown. There’s even a joke now between the divide of the island being that Fire Island Pines is for the gays and Cherry Grove is for wealthy lesbians with children. The Island comes alive during the summertime and pride month for celebration. If you’re lucky, you might still find some notable faces visiting. The ones that come to mind off the top of my head in recent years are Gus Kenworthy and Rob Anderson. And of course the cast of the movie haha. Of course, the island is no longer the same disruptive safe haven that it was back in its prime. But so long as the history and stories of the time spent on this island remain, as far as I'm concerned Fire Island is immortal. 

You know, I remember looking up videos on this island being so sparse that I started to think maybe writing an essay on the island wasn't a good idea. It was like it was taboo or something and I was revealing a secret that wasn't mine to share, if that makes any sense. Also, I wrote this last year but didn't post it cause I thought no one would care. But time is making me bolder, and I wanted to do something substantial for pride month while the topic is still relevant.

Thank you for reading if you did

0 Comments
2024/06/24
13:17 UTC

1

Transphobia towards others people

I don't really understand like why some gays, lesbian, bisexuals and etc. Doesn't wanna include TQ+ to the term LGBTQ+ community. It's like we're hating and repeating the history to the trans people themselves like I've seen some trans "just" accepting that some people to this community wanted to remove TQ+ cuz this community is just based on sexual attraction and sexual orientation. I'm also disappointed that some lesbians actually support Transphobia and call Trans as out of touch or delusional or existing, like first throughout the relationships some of 'em never even asked are you trans cuz there's a sign sis and when they found out they feel disgusted and rant online of how they "accidentally" dated a trans woman and that the word lesbian lost its real meaning. I hated how this community is fighting each other like just becuz trans people exist doesn't mean the meaning of the word like gay, lesbian and bisexual or pan changed, it's still the same. As a gay boy I feel so unsupported by my OWN community and it's frustrating how some people in here chose to hate others especially at TQ+ people

0 Comments
2024/06/24
12:00 UTC

12

Can't get myself to try anal sex

I am bi-curious and although I tried some stuff, I know just how incredible it would be to go all the way (as a top) however I can't get over that obstacle. I am not into guys (faces and stuff) but guys attract me in a sexual way. Less than women still but I love it how cool and easy it is with guys.

It all makes me want to go all the way with either of my two bi friends I tried things with. Especially with my virgin friend as he would like to have sex with me and he fancies me but I cannot get myself to do it so he respects my boundaries so I only tried oral stuff with him as he's sub and btm

What should I do? Should I try it out or is it best to forget and still to kissing and oral stuff? I know that I do not fancy guys but I love to see my friend all over me and how happy it makes him

7 Comments
2024/06/24
22:55 UTC

9

Companies during pride month be like

0 Comments
2024/06/24
22:24 UTC

2

I have arrived

u/KongDenRunde , I am here.

0 Comments
2024/06/24
21:12 UTC

70

any tips on the best gay porn sites and channels?

when i go on ph, i always find the same videos (the category i search is "twink creampie") and after a while it becomes not very exciting to watch the same ones. on xxnx, if i search for the same thing, videos about it come out that are of poor quality. What could you recommend me some porn actor, video or channel?

41 Comments
2024/06/24
20:45 UTC

7

New mates

I don't have many platoic gay friends at the moment, my family don't know this side of me I keep it private away from them. Just wondering how I can go about being more pro-active in this regard. My main interests : aviation, automotive, photography , old tech. I finished college recently with two degrees and two certificates in aviation and it's been a multi-month drag finding aviation related work post college.

6 Comments
2024/06/24
20:43 UTC

26

As the month nears its end, let’s hear your favorite moments from Pride this year!

Mine was doing my city’s Pride 5k and seeing how many people showed up to run or walk and how many people were along the route cheering and supporting us along the way. Was also great seeing how many families were doing the 5k. Could for sure feel the love.

23 Comments
2024/06/24
19:40 UTC

303

About to go in for a porn scene ask me anything

Title is self explanatory I do gay porn for a living and I have a scene in an hour ask me anything I need to pass the time

301 Comments
2024/06/24
17:39 UTC

10

I feel a bit out of place when it comes to my friend group.

Hi there. I recently made some gym friends and we have been hanging out a couple of times. I would say I am not really much experienced when it comes to knowing about general life stuff(since I live in my cave and never had actual geneuine friends before), so I don't really keep up with social media, the current trend, party life, and etc. I do feel a bit out of place sometimes when they talk about doing drugs together and drinking as well. They did invited me to it but I declined because I do get scared of trying those stuff. I am an atheist so there is no religious background to my reasoning, I just don't have the desire to. Never drink any alcohol beverages ever or do any drugs. We are planning out to go to a water park one day and rent our an Airbnb so we all have fun and just hang. They talked alot about doing drugs while sitting outside the house and I declined to it but I feel awkward not being part of it while they are all drugged out. Any tips on how to deal with this when they are all drugged out? I never really interacted with a drugged out person before so I don't know what it will be like. I do feel embarassed not being part of the normal when people do these certain type of things nowaday. It's hard to find friends that don't do theae things. I don't mind people drinking and doing drugs, I just feel out of placed not doing it.

4 Comments
2024/06/24
08:37 UTC

5

Help 25 gay student looking for gay immigrant men who live in the EU for a small interview for my humanitarian course

Seeking Participants for Research on LGBTQ+ Migration to the EU

Hi everyone,

I'm currently conducting a research project focused on the experiences of gay men who have migrated from their home countries to the European Union in pursuit of a better quality of life. This study aims to understand the motivations behind their migration, the transitions they undergo, and the realities they encounter upon resettlement.

I'm looking for participants who fit the following criteria:

  • Gay men
  • Have migrated to the EU from another country
  • Willing to share their personal experiences

Your participation would involve a confidential interview where we discuss your journey, challenges, and the impact of migration on your life. This research aims to shed light on the unique experiences of gay migrants and contribute to better support mechanisms for our community.

If you are interested or know someone who might be, please send me a direct message or reply to this post. Your insights will be invaluable to this project and will help in fostering greater awareness and empathy towards LGBTQ+ migrants.

Thank you for considering this opportunity to share your story and help our community.

Best regards,

Shayan

0 Comments
2024/06/24
07:41 UTC

59

Got a job as a camp counselor, coworker has a crush on me and hasnt stopped making moves even after i told her im not interested

We are both kids, im 17, shes 15, and day one of staff training said she "liked me". Later she revealed she had someone she considered a boyfriend. I asked why she said she liked me and she responded that she didnt mean in a dating way. (red flag) later in the staff lounge maybe 10 of us were hanging out, her included, and she kept trying to get me to text her instead of being present with the others. She passed me her notes app with questions and conversation stuff that was harmless, i was fine with that since I could still talk and hang out with everyone else. I asked (on the notes thing) what the cringiest thing she has done was, and she responded with "i had sed in the woods once" (also on the app). (another red flag) lastly, before bed (this is a sleepaway thing, so the boys have a cabin and the girls have a second one) she walked w me to the cabin, and before i went inside, asked if i could tell her i love her, because she "does it with all her friends" (red flag again) all of this plus making comments that im hot, or attractive, etc, and asking if ive dated or kissed girls, and a bunch of other things that feel really targeted at wanting to date me.

i feel really conflicted, because on the one hand she is still immature, its not like she is doing it to be harmful, but also i dont want it to escalate further.

I also dont want her to get fired, having a summer job isnt something thats small to me either, and i would hate to make a mountain out of a molehill here.

what do i do?

18 Comments
2024/06/24
06:32 UTC

19

Bi or Just Jealous of Women?

I've been really struggling to guage whether I am bi or just jealous of the way women get to be so pretty. I find myself wishing that I could be beautiful like that, but I know thats not possible for me. I also feel like there's a twinge of attraction, though, but I can't tell if I'm just confusing the jealousy with attraction.

Can anyone relate to these feelings?

13 Comments
2024/06/24
02:53 UTC

31

From Gay to Bi Advice!

I 32M have been dating my 26m BF for 3YR and we have always had an on and off sexual relationship. Some times lots of sex sometimes not so much. This leads to some definite time spent on xxx sites. Over the last 2 years i have found myself watching more and more porn with women in them. To now today watching lots of porn with women to the point where i am confident i am on the bisexual spectrum. I do have previous sexual experience with a women from my early teens but never thought anything of it. I feel like i should tell my bf this. But am unsure how he will take it. Anyone ever been in this situation or something similar? Im kinda wish he was Bi now but i have low hopes for that. ☠️now im just rambling!!! Send me advice tho yalll

17 Comments
2024/06/24
02:43 UTC

177

How do I react to being called the f-slur?

Honestly the title says it all. Ive only once been called the f-slur (over an online game) and I reacted by laughing hysterically and crying swiftly after because ✨mood swings✨. How shouldi. React next time? (I know this ain't the last) like, do I just take it with pride? (lol pun intende)

120 Comments
2024/06/24
01:40 UTC

40

'Gays Too Precious To Risk In Combat'

2 Comments
2024/06/23
23:16 UTC

0

Confusion & Frustration

Howdy, I'm M18, and came out as gay around 2-3 years ago. In that time, I did have a boyfriend online for about 5 months before he broke up with me, and over all that's been pretty much it as far as actively participating in the gay goes. It's been frustrating not being able to express myself, and I can't help but think that I haven't done enough. It's hard to go out and find people. Social anxiety and body dysmorphia are like two concrete walls that block me from actually dating other guys. I keep telling myself that at some point, maybe in college, that I will get a boyfriend, but I'm unsure. I haven't given up hope, but I just don't really know how to proceed. Really, all I want is a boyfriend to play Minecraft with or something (i live for comfy gaming), but the older I get, the more and more I feel like that isn't gonna happen.

It feels like I'm trapped in this deep cavern, surrounded by an oppressive darkness that consumes me whole. I know that there is light above, but know no way on how to get up there. Stuck, cold, and decaying. Just a mess of emotions and feelings, but yet the determination is still there. I don't want to give up, but I feel like the journey is going to be a long one, that may not even end with me reaching the goal.

Not sure where I am going with this lol, I guess I just wanted to vent/ask for advice, if that's alright. Thanks for reading, btw. Also, happy pride month!

3 Comments
2024/06/23
23:09 UTC

1

Looking for more gay friends

I’m m23 looking for more gay friends around my age. I like cars, anime, video games, music (mostly metal) dm me if you wanna be friends

2 Comments
2024/06/23
22:58 UTC

101

Is it gay to have Limahl posters on my bedroom wall?

Hello fellows, I identify myself as a straight guy, I'm a 29yr old boy which have casual hangups with girls . More often than not, the girls I bring home ask "are you gay" after entering my bedroom and seeing Limahl/kajagoogoo posters on the wall.... I think about half of girls asked that.

For sure, I don't bother so much because being gay isn't a bad thing, it's just a different sexual orientation that I have.... But makes me wondering, is this a gay thing?

I really love kajagoogoo and Limahl, by far my favorite band all time.

17 Comments
2024/06/23
22:02 UTC

1

Being deaf and gay

I was born completely deaf and my parents didn't know until l was about 2 1/2 years old. Mind you, I was born in ‘87 so they didn't test for hearing as rigorously back then like they do nowadays. Not sure how my parents didn't notice for a whole 2+ years but they did love their beer.

Anyway, I'm 37 now and over the years I have noticed a lot of shallowness (shocker) throughout the gay community when it comes to my hearing. I have cochlear implants in both ears which has helped me tremendously. My most recent hearing test showed that I can hear JUST below normal hearing and my speech is pretty great, I usually have no issues interacting with people and I don't use sign language at all since I don't really need it. I also consider myself a good-looking guy and I take care of my body and my health. However, there are many guys out there that have not given me a chance or they were just “fake nice" to my face until the end of a date, hangout, or whatever then they wouldn't wanna hang out again. Sure, some of them I would boil down to just a basic lack of chemistry which is fine but there’s a nagging feeling the majority of it was otherwise. It can be frustrating but I don't ever let it stop me from being optimistic nor do I make my deafness my entire personality. It's just a part of the many facets of who I am.

That being said, are there any of you out there that resonate with this whether you have a similar disability or not? And also, I would love to hear some thoughts on it in general. Maybe some insights as to why some people feel uncomfortable with it?

0 Comments
2024/06/23
21:45 UTC

0

May I ask something about travesty?

Yesterday I was at the CSD in Munich. I really love the travesty artists. It’s not like cross dresser. It’s real art … the make up, the costumes, the details. I’m impressed. Thanks ladies for those amazing memories.

Hopefully I’m not offending someone with my question.

Are travesty artist really mostly gay? Or is this a separate group of lgbt+ and there is the same amount of cis and homosexual men ?

1 Comment
2024/06/23
21:40 UTC

400

I recently came out.

So this morning I was hungover from a night of drinking, mostly fueled by depression from having to live a lie. Suic*de crossed my mind a few times so I figured if I want to die I might as well tell my mom I’m gay and see what happens. After a conversation about maybe needing to join AA I told her the main reason I’ve been drinking is because I’m into guys and felt like I had to hide it, she told me she knew and was super accepting. I can’t believe I actually came out and it’s mind boggling how unbothered she was by it, only emotion she showed was love, I cried for the first time in ages after that.

Just kinda felt like I needed to share.

51 Comments
2024/06/23
19:58 UTC

176

Straight friend and I had a huge falling out after denying doing something risque/sexual with me.

Messy story. I (29M) caught feelings for my straight friend (30M) earlier last year who I was close with. There were enough mixed signals, but still plausibly deniable on his part.

Confessed to him end of year and reaffirms his straightness. After an awkward few months, got closer again. But our banter became more gradually flirty, I'd punch him whenever he'd tease me, he'd get increasingly touchy with me whenever we'd both be out drinking. Things felt confusing given the fact I already expressed interest to him, and that he already expressed that he's straight to me.

I'd make jokes about our friendship and he'd be upset taking them seriously, or upset that I didn't punch him and thought that I was mad at him. This was surprising because it was clear that I was important to him, even though he rarely expresses it.

He never acts this way with anyone else in his life, and I started to wonder if he was confused.

Recently at a party, we were laying on the couch and I had my hand resting on his thigh. Every so often, he'd sit up, and very subtlely nudge my hand with his elbow up his leg. It got to the point where my hand was all the way up to his groin.

I didn't say anything, and we went a week where it was never brought up. I did ask him if he blacked out that night and he said no. Later that week we hung out one-on-one and I thought he was nervous, but I drunkenly was trying to be flirty with him just to feel things out (if the groin thing meant something) and he wasn't reciprocating the flirt.

I convinced myself that the groin thing was probably causing him a lot of distress, and there wasn't really anyone he could go to to help reassure him that everything's going to be okay. So I reached out to him via text to check up on him.

It went terrible. He said he doesn't remember it happening, but thought it was weird because he was sober enough to remember something like that. He also called me out for acting weird at our hangout, saying that it made him uncomfortable. And he then spent the rest of the conversation to reaffirm his straightness. I owned up to my mistakes, apologized, and expressed my concerns about how I value our friendship over all else. He was completely dismissive of my concerns of the friendship, and couldn't empathize with how confusing the groin thing was for me.

I felt hurt by the text because it felt like he wasn't truly listening to what I was saying.

We talked in-person to try and clear the air and he was continuing to be dismissive. He'd just go "Okay..." about everything with a slight smirk on his face as if he felt he did nothing wrong. He again reiterates that he doesn't remember it, so he can't really understand how it would be confusing to me, but then questions why my hand was even on his leg in the first place. He told me his trust in the friendship is shattered.

Every time I tried to ask him to understand how confusing something like that would be, he'd just repeat that he doesn't remember it. He even said "Do I need to treat you like a girl now? Where even a brush of an elbow can be misconstrued as leading you on?"

It was so painful to pour my heart out and say how I felt he threw the friendship out the window and for him to just sit there silently.

It was painful to hear him suggest we ask other people at the party if what he did was actually misleading. It's like he's willing to rope other people into this instead of handling this privately, just to prove me wrong.

We talked before people arrived to hang out, and what's even more confusing is when we were with the group, everything felt normal and he even teased me like nothing changed. And when I said bye to everyone at the door, he was the first one to leave. But when he saw me give everyone a hug, he stood there waiting for me to give him one.

I feel like this was a huge misunderstanding, but he's taken no accountability for anything and has no empathy for my side of the story. The whole incident was incredibly hurtful and confusing, and I have no idea what to do or what to make of it. It feels like all his defense mechanisms and insecurities came out and he's in survival mode. But no friend has ever treated me like that before. I still care about him, he's an important friend to me, and I'm trying to have compassion for him. But I don't know what to do.

90 Comments
2024/06/23
19:44 UTC

7

I made a trans character

He is a trans boy his name is Alex. He used to be a girl name Anne but he transitioned now he is Alex.

1 Comment
2024/06/23
18:59 UTC

31

Have Gay Sex on June 26 (and other ways to celebrate supreme court case Lawrence v. Texas) #GayPride

2 Comments
2024/06/23
18:35 UTC

18

Advice on hooking up with fit daddies? (I'm 21m)

I'm about to break up with my BF for the last time when he gets back from his weekend trip with his girls. Didn't even look at me to say goodbye when I left for work... When I texted him to ask if he was okay, he said "better than ever" before, not even replying to ask how I was doing.

So since I'm breaking up with him, I can finally fuck for older guys since I was somewhat sex starved in my relationships.I've always wanted to try it (I'm 21 5'9 with kind of a fit bearish body) what are guys 30+ into?

24 Comments
2024/06/23
18:04 UTC

57

Transphobia = misogyny

That’s it. That’s the post.

111 Comments
2024/06/23
15:59 UTC

287

gay

12 Comments
2024/06/23
09:33 UTC

22

Does bottoming come with any health issues?

I know it's most likely a silly question

But did anyone experience any or not? Just curious about this if it's safe and I don't mean infections but more when it comes to physical pain or similar

19 Comments
2024/06/22
23:58 UTC

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