I’m currently 21, lately I’ve noticed I’m into men especially older guys 50+. I’ve tired going on apps even looking on Reddit but it seems I get very little interest. Everyone wants to hook up and never speak but I want a relationship or at least fwb. When I talk to older guys they just want someone their own age. I should mention I’m also what people call chubs so I think it’s even harder to find someone. It seems the only people interested in me are my age which I’m not attracted to what so ever. I was talking to someone who was 40 and they mentioned how they old want someone who’s very experienced, is this true?

This past month I had the pleasure of hooking up with three younger men, all late late teens to early 20s (all 18+). Decent conversations were had with all three prior to meeting. In fact, texting took place over a month with two. All three are into older men. I’m a very relaxed, kind, no pressure kinda of guy. Lots of foreplay prior to intercourse. I bottomed for two, topped for the third. However, the common theme was that all 3 had trouble getting and staying hard. The two tops were definitely nervous, though they both did nut.

My question to young and old alike is have you had similar experiences? What might be the underlying issue? Is there anything I can do better? I’m genuinely perplexed.

I know the general recommendation is going to Palm Springs but unfortunately due my schedule I won’t be able to go!

So I’ll stay in LA and San Diego, I know in LA, West Hollywood is the spot for gays, but where do I found daddies and bears? Is there some bar or clubs or even other areas?

Besides that I’ll stay in the gay pride, so any other tips I really will appreciate!

I have been through a difficult time lately. I’ve had colorectal surgery and have been back four days from hospital. I am making a recovery at home. I’m getting older and am thinking of doing some thing I’ve never done before. I’d like to hookup with a young man and am thinking of travelling to Thailand. I’ve tried many dating apps which either don’t accept Apple Pay or very difficult to get them to locate people in that part of the world or even in the U.K. I am new to all this and this is something I can’t get out of my head. I am at a loss at what I could do.

For YEARS I thought my high libido, constantly thinking about sex, watching porn multiple times a day, masturbateinf/edging regularly, fantasizing about random guys in my life, etc, I thought it was “normal”.

I thought it was just me being a horndog, especially when I was younger. Eventually, now in my 40s, I found out I’m just hypersexual.

Thankfully, my fear of STDs helps me control it, but oh my god. Sometimes it drives me crazy. I gets so frustrating.

Any of you relate? If so, how do you handle it?

Hey guys I'm 33 yo African moved yo Europe lately and then this blonde boy from the same city add me on snap and we started texting till he finished in my bed ... he is so smooth feminine and beautiful but I feel bad bcs I can't go out with him as I'm very discret about that

Just curious -- what is the name of the flag with the two upside down triangles? I tried to do a reverse google image search, but nothing came up.

Sorry if this has already been asked, i (25) have always been into older men, (50+). I’ve always kept it just sexual and all of my boyfriends have been the same age as me. There has been a few older guys that have made it clear that they’ve wanted to have a relationship but i always shoot them down as i worry my friends and family will judge me. My dad raised us by himself and i worry mainly about his judgement if i were to date a man older than him. Anyone experience this and if so how do you get over it

I’m 31 I had an experience with an older guy, 54, who works in the same office as me.

He told me the next morning it wasn’t for him, he’s straight, and then again a few days later made sure I understood that. I understood. Was a one night thing, **I guess I was an experiment.

Now what’s confused me is I tend to wait for him to take the lead with me. I get paranoid if I am overly talkative or try to sit next to him etc that he will think I’m desperately trying to make something happen again, so I keep my distance in a social setting and follow his lead. We went for drinks the other day and when he arrived, I gave a quick smile and continued my conversation with someone else. I could see he was looking at me out the corner of my eye frequently, then when I went out for a smoke one of my friends said he seemed to be looking at me a lot and maybe was trying to get my attention. These people don’t know what happened, but they told me how he was asking questions about my preferences in older guys a few weeks previous, and one of my coworkers said when she was messaging me at work he stopped to chat and seemed to be trying to look at the screen and read our convo.

We left the first bar and walked to the next place, and during this walk, he ended up catching up with me and putting his arm around me as we walked. From then, we stood with each other, sat next to each other, he’d ask me what drink I was getting and would get the same. We put our arms around each other a few times after - but that could have been me with newfound confidence. This next part is stupid, but we started playing bar games, and we were on the same team. But we high fived, and instead of it just being a quick high five, our fingers came together and held there for a millisecond before going back down. Then when it came to goodbye, he gave everyone a quick hug, but when it came to me, we had one that seemed longer and he squeezed me, but of course I’m unsure on how he hugged everyone else. It could have been the same and just look quick.

I sound so immature and like a child but this whole experience has made me realise I’ve got feelings for someone and it’s like I’m a teenager again. Over analysing and seeing every look and touch as significant. I just want someone to tell me if I am overthinking this? Or if I do have a valid reason to be confused? Please be kind.

** EDIT ** - stated that I guess I was an experiment as it read he told me I was an experiment so fixed it.

Older men TURN ME ON. Living in a place like Boston, it’s hard to not get turned on every 5 seconds just from walking down the street. Ever since I’ve started having sex last fall, I’ve done a better job of controlling these urges, but even now, I still make some very questionable decisions when I’m horny. Decisions that won’t get me into too much trouble but could definitely create some awkward and very embarrassing scenarios.

I know I’m gonna stay horny, unless I go through like conversion therapy or something lol, but does anyone have any tips on how I can stay more disciplined or gain more self control.

This week I finally decided to meet a guy for sex. I'm 28m. My first time was in a car. He stroked both our cocks and gave me head. I was so horny that I went to 3 other guys (one top and two verses), fucked two of them and sucked the top's cock. Next, I nutted inside of the verses. Yesterday another guy gave me head and I fingered his ass. Then I went to fuck a bottom, nutted in him and sucked his cock. All of the verses/bttms cleaned their asses before sex. Unfortunately all of it happed without a condom. I'm in two minds anout it, cause I'm slowly losing my mind feel horny all the time. I didn't have contact with their semen. What to expect and when? What to do? Please, help, guys!

Or just paid someone for their services, whatever it might be. Doesn't have to be NSFW!

Why'd you do it? What happened? And if you never have, would you ever do it?

Just curious =) and doing a little research

Hi everyone,

I'm 25 and I recently broke up with my 65-year-old boyfriend after almost two years of being together. We met when I was in his city for work, and from the start, we knew it would be a temporary relationship. The reason for the breakup was mainly because I'm bisexual and want to have children, plus my family is Indian, and they wouldn't accept me if I were in a same-sex relationship.

Our breakup was amicable, and I'm grateful for the time we spent together. However, it's been three weeks since I moved to a new city for a new job, and I miss him so much that it's affecting my everyday life. I find myself unable to think about anything else, and my motivation has completely vanished. The constant feeling of loss is overwhelming.

Him being much older and more experienced, he seems to be handling it better than I am. We still talk every day, which is both comforting and painful. He's such a great guy, and I'm grateful that we remain on good terms

I'm struggling to regain interest in anything or anyone else. Even the idea of hooking up or meeting new people doesn't appeal to me right now. I know I need to move on, but I'm not sure how to accept that he's gone as my boyfriend and that I have to continue with my life.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? How did you cope with the loss and move forward? I'm open to any advice, whether it's about dealing with heartbreak, finding new interests, or just learning to live without someone you deeply care about.

Thanks for reading, and I appreciate any support or guidance you can offer.

TL;DR: I recently broke up with my 65-year-old boyfriend, and it's hitting me harder than I expected. We still talk every day, its difficult to move on. Looking for advice on how to cope with this loss and regain motivation in life.

Hello everyone,

I’ve been seeing this older muscle guy, and he’s usually a bottom, but i’m not very experienced with topping. Any advice from more experienced older bottoms on how to approach this and make the experience enjoyable for both of us ?

Sorry guys, this post might be long.

A little b/ground.. 41 with quite comfortable life. Been in loving r/ship for past 13y until he passed away 3y ago. (We had a 33y age gaps & he is British). Since he gone, I've live my life like a zombie. Wake-up, go to work, return home, sleep - endless cycle day in day out. Just lost will to live tbh.

Anyway sometimes last year joined SD (I always have a things for older men especially gwm) in hoping to find someone to chat with & try to find fun again. Not much luck, but still strikes a good convo with few and we end up chatting until now.

First guy - known him for the past 8 months or so. Very lovely guy & he remind me of my late partner a lots. We texted every day and VC often. He is 76 and did mention at beginning that he unable to commit a serious r/ship (due to his age & family - he is closeted with son & g/kids, single & never marry). We just remain friend even deep inside I want more. We can talk about anything for hours. He did confessed though, if situation is different, we will surely be a partner.

Second guy - known him for about 6 months. He is 65 (married with kids but no longer have sexual r/ship with wife - only companion, stayed because of kids). Texting everyday too but never had any VC. About 2-3months ago he confessed that he falls in love on me & want to be with me, which freak out shit of me. He is making plan to visit me this year. (ohh I live in Asia btw & he in States. 1st guy also in States)

Third guy - known him on Jan this year while on holiday. Approached him thru SD (he is 65, again American) to meet up for coffee or sight seeing together. Turn out, he is such a lovely guy & we had diner together and chatted freely. He is regular visitor to Asia and we ex-change number, hoping to meet up again one day. Even though we have each other number, we did not have a regular communication. Early this week, out of blue, he texted me with some random thing about his life (something that you usually shared with friends or families). I'm surprised and his text put a smile on my face. He is exactly the same as I remember last time we met.

So my fellow men's, what should I do? I know for the 1st, we will only be friend. Nothing more than that, and I appreciated him for being honest.

I am freak out for the 2nd . He is nice guy but his life circumstances worries me. I know he is looking for a love but....

As for the 3rd, I want to know him more & I like him (a lots) but I do not know his feeling toward me. He is obviously not a texting kind of guy and I don't want to come across as a pushy and bombarding him with texts.

Help me please.......

I (30) work for a mid-size not-for-profit organization. They are treating us, the staff, to a full day at a nearby theme park. They will be providing transportation, breakfast, admission tickets, and dinner. It’s supposed to be a nice treat for us to celebrate after a year of hard work. Unfortunately, the event is for staff only - nobody gets a plus one.

My partner (51) is upset about it and thinks it’s very weird that this is a staff-only event. He’s acting jealous and suspicious, as though I’m planning some kind of secret affair. I told him this is a normal thing that some companies do.

I’m honestly curious, does this seem weird to anyone else? Am I doing something wrong or is he just overreacting?

So I’m 27 now, still trying to understand my sexuality. I tried dating woman but I have no sexually desire for them, I only like the romantic part. I tried dating a man my age, didn’t feel any sexual connection. I have no experience at all, never kissed anyone and always relieved my self with the sight of older man on the internet…

Now after years of installing and uninstall gay dating apps today I finally overcame my social anxiety and met up with a daddy that’s exactly my type. We met only two days ago on this app and we instantly were veeeery attracted to each other. So he is this 62 old sweet guy who’s in a open relationship with his husband. He was super nice and understanding and he is a very intelligent man and as I said totally my type. Since we started talking I constantly feel this extreme anxiety to a point where I can barely eat. I know that I probably should do therapy but right now I’m trying exposure therapy lol

We met up at a bar talked a lot about our lifes a little and found out we have a lot in common. In the meantime I enjoyed our legs touching under the table every now and then… because of my anxiety I really have a problem with body contact but the leg contact already felt nice hahaha Towards the end he was giving me a good old rub across my back, which also felt good.

So now he wants to do stuff with me asap, get me into the more sexual stuff but I’m super duper anxious about it and will somehow have to work it out. Just wanted to share my first experience here since I’ve been lurking for years.

Hey, im not sure if this is the right place to ask, but can anyone advice me where i can find older guys to chat and sext whit? Been looking around on Reddit haven't had much luck outside just dm-ing now and then. And grinder sucks in my area. 27m bear 🐻

Hello all. This is going to be a long story, so I apologize in advance! I thought this sub might be the best place for my story. I wanted to share my story and to know if any of you had similar surprising experiences.

This year, I had a surprising experience with an older man. I (26m) am a grad student living in the US coming from the middle east. A bit over two years ago I broke up with my ex(46m) and stayed as friends. After that, I talked, flirted and hung out with multiple men, but I always felt like I had lost the feeling of excitement or having crushes on someone. I met very nice men during that stage, and I enjoyed their company, but I didn't develop feelings for them or anyone.

Almost a year ago, I met this man (let's name him Tim) who was 60 at that time and came to where I live for a visit. We met on an app, and I thought he was really good-looking despite not fitting any of my previous criteria. I am somewhat used to age gap relationships and hookups and thought 20 - 25 years of age gap was my limit before I met with this guy. Tim and I started chatting online and felt a nice connection and planned to meet in the downtown area. I didn't have any expectations from this date; I just wanted to experience something I never did and explore. We had a fun date, walking around and talking for a few hours before we separated. Since neither of us could host that day, we didn't have sex or kiss. The date was nice, but I will be honest, it was not the best one I had. It was a hot, humid summer day, and I was sweating like crazy and didn't feel comfortable about it most of the time, lol. Even though I am an extroverted social person, I feel like I lack the excited feeling on most first dates because I believe I need a better connection or a friendship to form to have those feelings. However, with this man, it was really smooth, and I didn't feel bad at all. I had the feeling of familiarity with him despite us coming from very different backgrounds and lives. That was our only date at that time, and after a day or two, he left, but we stayed in touch. We continued to text for a while, but eventually, it faded out with fewer texts and interactions.

Around November last year, I sent a message and contacted him again, asking how it was going etc. I remember that on our date, he mentioned he may visit again during those months, and I asked if he was coming anytime soon. He told me he might visit in January, and we could meet again. I agreed, and we started chatting again, although this time, it felt like his interest in me was not as high as the last time. (which is totally fair when you consider how much time has passed - the initial spark has gone). Fast forward to our meeting; he was staying in a hotel, and I met him there. We actually wanted to go out, but the weather wasn't good that day, so we thought of having drinks at the bar and staying there. It was much better this time. I remember going to this date knowing that I had no expectations whatsoever, only expecting to have a nice time exploring and getting to know him. He is a knowledgeable person, and I love being around people like him and learning. The date was amazing. We talked about many subjects; he kept me interested all the time. And as we were speaking, I realized how similar we were personality-wise despite our differences. I think he probably thought the same way since he was talking about some stuff, mentioning, "... you probably do it this way because I was like that as well at your age". We kissed finally -he always mentioned he wanted to kiss me a lot and he regrets he couldn't do it last time- and it was really good. It can be tricky to find a compatible kisser, but he kissed the way I like it. While we were having drinks, I realized the things I thought I would be averted about him faded. (not to offend anyone. Before going on this date, I thought I could get overfocused on certain physical things - I am just being honest). Him being different, a lot older than me, and having different views on life didn't matter as if I did not see those things anymore. I remember realizing that I started to have those excited feelings for him, liking him a lot and saying to myself, "yes!! I did not forget or lose my ability to get excited and have feelings for someone!"

Then we went to his room. We started making out which lasted a long time. I remember talking about a lot of different things while we were kissing and touching each other. (It is also another thing I love). He touched me the way I like to be touched and vice versa. I really felt that we were compatible. He was on some meds, so he didn't get hard and probably felt bad about it. Honestly, I was completely fine with that. The magnetism felt so strong I didn't even see that as a problem. The way we kissed and touched each other, him telling me he likes me a lot etc., made me sure that we were reciprocating these feelings. It wasn't the first time I had made out with men, but that one felt really special. After all that, it was getting late, and he had some work-related plans, so I left. He was about to stay a day more there but changed due to his plans, so that was our only date for that visit. We continued to talk for a while after he left, but like the last time, it faded over time, and now we are not talking. On our date, he mentioned that he may visit in June. I don't know if he will reach out again, but I am fine either way. I am somewhat thankful to him for showing me that I still can have those feelings and I should be more open-minded when it comes to dating.

To my fellow young gays, you can never know who you're going to have that connection with. I was completely surprised when these happened. Physical traits do matter, but don't put too much meaning on them; personality and connection are the most important things - at least for me. First dates can be awkward. Giving it a second shot does work sometimes! Thank you if you read it all the way through.

I wanted to ask how all of you were able to get rid of the pain from a traumatic relationship? Mine lasted for 9 years and my ex was a manipulative asshole who would make threats to control me. I was with him since I was 23 and he 60.

Recently I drove away a wonderful man who flirted with me after months of being mad at me. I was just getting out of my relationship when we first locked eyes and he flirted with me. My ex successfully lured me back in with a threat to end his life. He didn't like that at all which led to him acting like he hated me for almost a couple years. I rejected him and asked why I should give someone a chance who is always so mean to me? He's disappeared and it's probably for the best even though the connection between us was always so magnetic.

He triggered something in me which made what should have been a romantic moment into something where I was staring at this guy like he was stupid.

I just want to heal already, this is so damn hard because I actually had feelings for the other guy. The way he was always so kind to others and how his eyes lit up when he smiled just made me so warm inside. I'm afraid I'll never meet someone like him again either with manners and values like that. It just hurts so much right now.

Have many members of this sub been to the palm springs area before? Based on what I hear it seems to have a larger population of older gay men. If anyone has been before and has advice on fun things to do or places to visit I am all ears. As someone who is visiting soon.

I (26) an travelling to meet my man (55) next week. He usually lives abroad but is currently in a city close to me so I will go see him. We have met twice before when I was on vacation in France, and otherwise we talk over text sometimes. I’m really looking forward to seeing him and all the crazy sex we’ll surely have, but I’m also curious if I should be careful about something? I don’t really know much about him, and will be in a city where I don’t know anyone else but him and will stay with him for two nights. Any thoughts or advice? Thanks!

So many posts in here about younger guys feeling shame or guilt that they have been hooking up with a daddy or older man. I’ve definitely been there but the sooner you can get over that feeling and start truly enjoying the fact that you love being fucked by an older man and it turns you on more than anything in the world. I started experimenting as a teenager and it was always with men who were 30-40 years older than myself. Still to this day, the only men I have feelings for and will have the most passionate sex of my life is always with a daddy. I’m 32 and my current man is 72 and I’ve never had better sex in my life.

To everyone in here making posts about being confused or feeling shame/guilt. It’ll get better, but the sooner you can let go of those feelings, the sooner you can truly indulge and submit to everything you’ve ever wanted and it might just be a silver fox daddy that’s 30+ years older than you but you’ve never been happier when you turn around as you’re getting fucked in your tight little hole

Im 27 from South East Asia and I find dating very hard for someone like me (me being tall,hairy and effeminate). Let alone finding an older man in my area who likes those traits.

I decided to accept the truth that this may not be my time. I will probably focus more on getting more successful with my career and independency, move to another country and try my luck there as there’s really a slim chance for me here.

Though Im still hoping that things will go well in the future but for now, I’ll just give it a rest.

I'm 31 and I used to hook up with a lot of men (that I had no interest in a relationship with) when I was younger and just wanted a stress relief fuck. After a few years of being busy with school, work, school, family, and just life in general, I ended up focusing more on building a life for myself. In my country it is — or was — still seen as shameful to let a guy fuck you, and I ended up adopting that mentality as I matured. I wouldn't say I'm a 'straight' guy but I've definitely ended up straight acting just for not wanting to be stereotyped.

My question is: do people these days have "normal" relationships where one guy is just a bit younger, or is that kind of dynamic still seen as strange? Obviously it's something older guys fantasise about a lot and I know there are situations where you get a lucky break and a relationship evolves out of sex. But do people genuinely seek out that kind of relationship based on their sexual preference or is it more a compromise for younger guys that want a sugar daddy?

If anyone has any experience with or insights on people's motivations and how young-old relationships typically start, please share.

i Can just speak for my self as a top gay, the most thing that i find attractive is the face, i don't see your butt o don't see your body first it is the face , and i don't look for somone handsom like a movie star it is the opposit for me i find them not attractive at all i like real men real faces that are sharp and you can see life in them, so for me if i like your face i like you, and if not o can't even vet turend on even if i see you naked

First time poster, regular lurker. I'm (31) and my BF, well... now ex (61) was caught again sexting other guys and god knows what else. This was his second chance after nights of long discussions about boundaries.

I am so in love with the idea of romance and finding my partner in crime, someone who I can look after for years to come, but hell I guess it's not meant to be.

I've only ever been into older men but I feel as though the generational gap will result in me never finding love. I love all of the success stories on here and it has given me some hope for the future, from lurking here for a while and reading some comments it makes me wish the world was a smaller place ... I wish everyone here future success in finding their other half and maybe one day it will happen for me too, but for now ... Some time to reflect on myself.

Not sure of the purpose of posting this, just needed it off my chest as I've very few gay friends. Any insight on how to navigate life after a heartbreak is also appreciated.