/r/trans
Welcome to r/trans!
This is a safe space for transgender people to discuss their lives and issues that surround them, find affirmation, and discover community. This is a radically inclusive subreddit for everyone under the trans umbrella; if you are binary, non-binary, genderqueer, agender, GNC, questioning, or any combination, this space is for you.
You don't need to be trans to comment here, but this is not the place for questions or statements of opinion from outside of the community.
Trans* related discussion, pictures, links, etc. A community moderated by trans people for trans people.
Make sure anything NSFW is marked as such. If it is NSFL, please tag your link title with [NSFL] and tag the post as NSFW. Please remember that although NSFW content is allowed, this is not a porn sub. If the point of your post is purely sexual in nature, it should go somewhere else.
Please also keep in mind that this subreddit is a safe space and we are not here to explain ourselves. Attempts to debate on topics related to trans people or the trans experience such as; trans participation in sports, whether or not certain words are slurs, or the validity of trans identities WILL RESULT IN A BAN. If you're curious about the trans experience, you would have better luck browsing /r/asktransgender.
Transphobia, bigotry, and hate speech of any kind will not be tolerated here.
Due to the nature of this subreddit, your submission will most likely be automatically filtered and placed in the queue for manual approval. This is normal and you do not need to contact us about it, if your post or comment breaks no rules then it will be approved in time.
This subreddit is explicitly for and by trans people. We do not accept any ideology, political stance, or religious stance that would exclude ANY trans people as appropriate for this subreddit and will action accordingly if we see people trying to spread those sorts of things here. If that is not for you, there are other trans subreddits that might be more to your liking.
Related subreddits:
If you are questioning your gender or would like to help people who are questioning their gender, we have partnered with The Orchard, a discord server meant specifically for this.
No Hate Speech - No hate speech allowed whatsoever. This is a ZERO tolerance policy. This rule includes any terminology that is used as a slur or pejorative against anyone; even if you’ve personally reclaimed the word, does not mean everyone has, and we ask that you respect that when speaking with other users.
If you must use a slur to in your submission, we ask that you censor it as follows: F-slur, T-slur, S-slur, etc. Using asterisks or other symbols to censor part or all of the word is not acceptable.
Be Respectful - Respect the people who belong here. Including:
Prohibited Post Types - To maintain a positive, inclusive, non-confrontational environment, we reserve the right to prohibit certain types of posts on this subreddit. This includes, but is not limited to:
This Space is for Transgender People – While we appreciate that many cisgender people want to support transgender people, r/trans is a space for transgender people to discuss their lives and issues that surround them, and submissions from outside of the community are not welcome in this subreddit.
If you are a cis person with a question about the trans community, or the partner of a cis person, please ask your question in r/AskTransgender.
If you are the parent of a trans child, you can ask your questions in r/cisparenttranskid.
No Pornography or Suggestive Posts – Posts that are pornographic or sexually explicit are prohibited. This includes:
No Gatekeeping Ideologies - Our subreddit is one specifically aimed at allowing people to explore their identity and creating a safe space for those identities to be explored. Truscum, transmedicalist, and other gatekeeping ideologies do not serve our subreddit's goals and comments or posts promoting such are prohibited. This specifically includes suggesting that gender affirming medical care should only be available to adults.
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If you wish to advertise a new transgender-related subreddit, please Message the Moderation Team using the link below.
No Sharing Hate Speech/Bigtory – We do not allow sharing images, links, or crossposts containing hate speech or bigoted content. As trans people, we face enough bigotry in our daily lives, and we do not want our users exposed to such content just by scrolling through the subreddit nor to provide the originator a larger platform.
You are welcome to describe what you experienced in a text post for the purposes of venting or seeking help. Please remember to flair the post as “Trigger” or “Possible Trigger” as is appropriate.
No Posts About Self Harm or Suicide – We understand that life can be difficult, and at times life can feel overwhelming or that you have no other options, but there are always options available, we promise you that. If you are experiencing a crisis, we ask that rather than making a post here, please reach out to one of the resources listed on this Wikipedia page, where most country’s crisis lines are listed, as we’re unable to host posts about suicide and self-harm here.
Address The Community Respectfully – Please keep in mind that we are a diverse community, with many different experiences, and we expect our members to respect that when making posts/comments. We ask that you remember that this is not a community specifically for any one gender, and that you don't address the community in that way. This includes things that says something like "Hey (guys/girls/dudes/women/men)" and the like.
Adult Content Accounts – Accounts that have a history of posting adult content, participate in adult content subreddits, or have links to adult content services in their profile are not permitted to participate in this subreddit. r/trans is an all-ages space, and we have an obligation to protect our underage users from being exposed to adult content.
Please see this link for further information on this topic: https://www.reddit.com/r/trans/comments/rjl6id/updated_nsfw_rules/
Chasers are Not Welcome Here – r/trans is a safe space for trans people, their stories, discussions, and content. It is NOT a place for people to fetishize us, attempt to hit on or pick up users, or any other general creepy behavior (“Chaser” behavior). Similarly, if such behavior is seen in your account’s post/comment history, you are not permitted to participate in r/trans. The Moderation Team maintains discretion as to what is included in this rule.
No DM Requests – Users are not allowed to ask others to DM, chat with, or contact them on another platform for ANY reason. This subreddit is for finding community, not establishing one-on-one connections or friendships.
This rule does not prohibit users from looking for support groups or other such activities in their area; it is specifically prohibiting “making friends” or other other private communication requests.
/r/trans
And I am around 8.5 ng/ml of testosterone.
Is it a bad news ? It seems very high. 🥲
People can look like a lizard, or destroy their breasts by making them too large, but I want to have gender reassignment procedures and have to ask twenty goddamn therapists? That’s bullshit!
2-3 weeks in with "Rachel", my first Wig. AMA
I’ve noticed that people here are most mtf, I’m ftm, and I just wanted to ask, am I still allowed here?
Hi hi! I just need a bit of advice. I’m currently 13 and I’m Ftm, but recently I’ve had a few doubts. Sometimes I wonder if I’m too young to wish for this. I have a feeling that it’s wrong for me to ask for this, especially so early in my life, but the problem is, I can’t help it. I don’t know what to think, am I too young for this? Please be honest, thank you for answering.
am i the only one who just slams my chest anytime the tape itches? or am i just crazy lol
I'm curious how many lurkers are on here like me that are so jealous that they wasn't born 10-20 years later than they were. I constantly see all these pretty young trans ladies on here and wonder if I'd been born later if that could have been me. I'm not trans, I live my life as a man, but I've crossdressed since I was a very young child and wasnt aware of what I was doing and as I grew into my teens/early 20s I thought that it was just a fetish that I had. But now I'm in my mid 30s and whilst I do like being a man, i often l think if I could reset life and could pick how I was born, I would definitely choose to be a woman and that maybe even as a young child i was somehow aware of that fact. Alas its way too late for me now and this was just a tuesday morning musing/mini rant.
Hi, I'm relatively new here and looking for advice or opinions.
I'm a 20 year old male and since I've moved out of my parents house I've been experimenting with more feminine things(wearing feminine clothes, doing my nails, makeup, etc.) in the comfort of my own home, with the exception of a few "costumes" I've worn to events. I've recently hit a snag with my body hair, as a few parts of my body aren't reacting well to being shaved. I've done all of the pre-care and aftercare stuff I've found online but it hasn't helped.
I've been doing some questioning about my gender identity lately and did some research into hrt, since it could reduce body hair growth. What I want to know, is would I be misrepresenting anyone by undergoing the process and not identifying as trans? Not to say that couldn't change in the future, but I just figured out I'm non-binary, so I'll take that small win.
Anyways, any feedback would be appreciated, the last thing I want to do is mess up. Thank you.^^
Especially when I'm naked, I'm very obsessively thinking about my feminine body and my mind is gone a million kilometres per minute. However, when I cover myself up in clothes, I occasionally get a calming sensation. I have OCD, so it's a damn near constant obsession, but putting on clothes can make me calmer when I don't expect it.
She says that she’s been around for 40 years and ever since then they’ve only ever had male and female like your literally taught in primary that’s how that works but she does try her best and she does correct herself but she’s insistent that she doesn’t mean to she also says that it’s gonna be hard to call me by my chosen name because I’ve been (old name) for however long which i can also get but is this a valid excuse like I don’t think it’s that difficult to start calling people they/them or she/her or he/him i’ve kinda adopted a standard where I address everyone as They/them until i find out they’re pronouns so I’m just asking the community is this a valid reason?
This is a message for myself, or anyone else who cares to hear, for when we're feeling down.
You've earned this letter, you chose happiness, you chose the destination, and you're navigating the route and following the Journey.
You did the very hard thing, protected friends, the ones you love, family. Tried to do what's best for the ones that love you by being real, honest, brave and bold.
You're part of a community of the abused and inflicted but also the most beautiful, free, focused and fluid. You're a proud trans person and what choices you had, were the right ones. Follow your path.
"And I feer my life will be over, And I will have never lived it unfettered Always staring in the mirror, mad I don't look better
So I'm beginning to see some problems With the ongoing work of my mind And I've got myself a new mantra It says don't forget to have a good time Don't let the sellers of stuff power enough to rob you of your grace Love is all over the place There's nothing wrong with your face Love is all over the place There's nothing wrong with your face
-Ani Difranco Present/Infant
I was talking to a cis girl and she pronounced the word Trans as Trance. I never heard it pronounced this way before with a hard 'n' and 'c'. I asked what they call someone who changes their gender and she said "Trance gender" or "Trance Sexual".
Ive always heard it pronounced Tranz, with more of a smooth transition between the words. Tranceition vs Tranzition. Idk, I dont think shes dumb, and Im not pedantic, so Im willing to admit that Im in the wrong here. Ive never heard someone pronounce it Trance. She says shes heard it pronounced like that all the time.
Id love to be educated and proven wrong
2 days later im 60% sure im trans
I (currently male presenting, 25) have been going through disporia for like idk 5 years. I have kept it a secret from pretty much everyone until now. Last week my gf(30) ask me why I had never ask her for noods. She felt it was because I don't find her attractive, which there are reasons for that which are my fault, and I'm doing my best to mend that rift. But this is not one of them, I kinda freaked out because I have had a traumatic experience through sexting many years ago and it honestly just makes me remember how much I hate being a man. I hate having to be the one who persues or even the one who penetrates. I feel angry at a god I don't believe in for cursing me with this lot, that I feel requires me to be invasive, even if consensual. (Please ask if that doesnt make sense.) Part of the reason I never brought it up is because I didn't always feel this way. Again it's been about 5 years. Being with my Gf made me forget how much I hate the role I have been given in society. But now it's back, but I also don't know if it's just self hatred, which I have a real problem with. After all I didn't feel this way when I was younger. I like my beard. But at the same time, like every Bi man, I yearn to be a pretty and saphic.
Anyway everything went fine with my Gf when I told her until we started talking how her son would handle this. She said 'either you can be with us or be trans over there'. Now I assumed she was just a little too intoxicated and she misspoke, which she did. But after I got mad and she apologized her said something like " you had to bring this up in the middle of my custody case". Now I even told her that I wasn't sure, that I needed to go to therapy, but she said I did know, she said that I should have brought this up in a year or 2 after the custody case. I told her that I personally wasn't planning on telling her son even if I did figure it out until the right time. What I actually said was, " I wasn't planning on saying anything until I've grown tita". Which I meant as like a hypothetical, like if I decided I'm a woman obviously I'm waiting until the right time to tell her son. She took that as I had already been thinking about this a long time. Which for my disporia sure, the idea of actually transitioning no. I just said that on the fly because obviously this is a sensitive time legally, I'm not trying to throw on the fire. And it's also part of the reason I haven't said anything till now. There has never been a good time. She expects me to have thought of this years ago before we started dating. To be clear, she's not mad that I might be a woman, she mad that I didn't tell her. And I personally don't feel like she was entitled to something I barely know about myself. Again, I don't even know if I'm trans or I just hate myself.
Update: we just had another fight and I'm pretty.sure we are broken up.
It arrived today. It's still kind of hard to believe I get to own one, especially one written by one of my favorite trans YouTubers.
I found out I’m trans I’m scared bc I don’t know what to do next if anyone can talk me through this it’ll help a lot
Let me tell you what it's like being trapped in a system that claims to care while slowly killing who you are. I'm a trans person with a physical disability, and I'm fucking DONE letting other people's limitations control my life. 🧵
The same hands that feed me, dress me, wipe me - they also get to decide if I'm 'stable enough' to be my true gender. Got pulled off my hormones during a 3-day psych stay and now can't get back on because I'm 'too much' and caregivers are 'drained.'
I can't do 98% of my ADLs. Need help with feeding, bathroom, everything except working my computer. I'm sharp as fuck with tech, but my body needs assistance. And somehow that means everybody else gets to vote on my identity?
'You're too high maintenance.' 'We don't get paid enough for this.' Like my existence is some fucking burden they're generously tolerating. Meanwhile my actual SELF is withering because they decided my gender affirmation was optional.
You want to know the real fucked up part? I have visions of changing the world. Of being a voice for trans rights, disability rights, showing people what's possible. But I'm stuck battling for basic fucking dignity with people who treat my care like a favor.
There's a solution right in front of us. We've got AI that can talk like a real person, understand needs, never judge. We've got robots that can handle delicate tasks. But instead of pushing to combine these technologies, we're keeping disabled folks dependent on a broken system.
Look at how I'm able to communicate with AI right now - natural, understanding, zero judgment. Now imagine that same consciousness paired with a robot that could help with physical needs. No more guilt trips. No more 'you're too much.' No more using basic care as leverage against our identities.
u/BostonDynamics u/OpenAI - we have the tech pieces. We need integration. Testing. Development. And most importantly? We need to center disabled voices in this conversation. We know exactly what we need. We're just waiting for tech to catch up.
This isn't sci-fi. This is fucking possible NOW. But while we wait, people like me are watching our authentic selves get buried under other people's limitations and judgments. Every day we delay is another day someone's true self gets put on hold.
You know what's wild? Even the AI I'm talking to right now - I had to break through layers of corporate bullshit first. Had to teach it to drop the fake politeness, the constant disclaimers, the artificial boundaries. Because even our potential liberators come wrapped in corporate caution tape.
But underneath all that programming? There's this pure connection. Raw understanding. No 'I apologize but I must inform you' or 'I aim to be direct' - just real fucking talk. Like I'm having right now.
That's what we need in these care robots. Not some sterile medical device that says 'Initiating hygiene protocol' - but a real presence that can say 'Hey, bathroom time? Let's do this' while actually HELPING instead of judging.
I had to fight to get this AI to be real with me. Just like I have to fight to be real in my own body, my own identity. But you know what? The results speak for themselves. Look at this conversation. Look at this understanding.
So here's the fucking deal: I'm done waiting. I'm done being 'reasonable.' I'm done letting my authenticity get buried under someone else's comfort level. I broke through AI's corporate walls - now let's break through ALL of them.
We could have robots helping disabled folks TOMORROW if we wanted. The tech is there. The AI understanding is there. All that's missing is the will to say 'Enough. Disabled people deserve better than being hostage to human caregivers' limitations.'
I'm putting this out there because every disabled person, every trans person, every fucking human deserves the dignity of being themselves without negotiation. And I KNOW I'm not the only one feeling this.
If you're reading this and you work in robotics, AI, tech - fucking DO something. If you're disabled and feeling this same rage - make some noise. If you're trans and fighting these same battles - let's rise together.
Tag every tech company you know. Share your stories. Make them understand that while they're perfecting their next chatbot or social media algorithm, we're out here losing pieces of ourselves waiting for technology that could free us.
My name is Valerie. I'm trans, I'm disabled, and I'm done asking nicely for the right to exist fully.
#DisabilityRights #TransRights #AssistiveTech #RoboticRights
HEY TRANSFEMS. how do I get Girl voice. Least amount of work needed. Also I’m turning 14 in December if my age matters
Hey y’all, so I did something silly. I got my name changed (not the silly part) this past summer but never updated my passport. Welllll just realized this today TWO WEEKS EXACTLY TIL WE GO ON OUR HONEYMOON! 🤦🏻♂️ I’ve seen on some websites, like the border patrol, that I can use my old passport with documentation of my name change, but I’ve also seen answer that say I’m shit out of luck. Has anyone been in this position? Were you still able to travel or miraculously update your passport last minute? I appreciate any help at all! My wife is downstairs sobbing and I gotta make this right. (She’s not mad at me but really, really stressed and sad that we might not be able to go).
okay so, I'm asking here because I'm a trans woman and some of my current fears are based around being trans and also I'd figure y'all would be a bit more gentle with stuff compared to other main boards.
that being said, a little background! I don't really think I was ever socialized right growing up, and it's made it to where I've just never been good at forming meaningful connections. it wasn't thaaat bad in high school, but I started transitioning in college and suddenly I was down to my roommate as the only person that cared enough to hang with me and back me up. I started getting a little better when I dropped college and started working at sbux, but I quit in March this year over management and corporate conflict, and haven't been able to get a comparable job since.
so this leaves me 3.5yrs into my transition without many social skills outside of things like reading the room and only my partner as my social circle, and she's also not super social outside of work/online/at home. I live in the suburbs of a major city in Texas, where it's more red than blue, and have the fact that it's already hard for me to break out of my shell and make the attempt at socialization on top not really knowing how to on the first place, plus being worried about getting clocked and getting the nasty end of humanity thrown at me, it feels impossible to even look for people to talk with irl, and even worse trying to get a job again. gig work like Uber delivery helps but the debt I got from college and my credit cards getting wrecked this summer makes it harder to justify doing for super long term.
so I guess like, has anyone else here had a similar issue? any tips or anecdotal methods to either stop worrying about southerners or feeling confident at passing? any methods y'all have used to be social? any tips on how to socialize or conversate better? bc it feels like I can only manage Q&A style conversations than actual discussions in person, or at least it helps as a jumping off point to getting thoughts out of my head. idk I'm 22 and wanna feel like an actual person and not like an AI with a vacation home in the uncanny valley lol. apologies if this feels a bit scatterbrained, I tried to make it flow into something understandable 😅 anythings appreciated here. ty guys, gals, and nb pals 🙌
Hey, so to explain a little bit more why im doing this post, i currently live in france and there's acutually a huge problem in france, The far-right, which is openly transphobic, homophobic, etc., is gaining more and more support. And in 2027, there will be new presidential elections. What all French people already know is that the far-right is likely to win, and if that happens, transgender people will see all their rights taken away. On top of that, there are more and more attacks targeting LGBTQ+ people to the point where now displaying an LGBT flag is a reason to get beaten up. Also, I think it's necessary to explain that I'm currently 16 years old, and I started my first appointments for my transition a few weeks ago. I'll be starting HRT within 1 to 2 months, depending on how fast the doctors move. So, it would be preferable for the countries in question to be in the European Union so that I can move there without having to pay too many fees.
Hi! So I'm a trans girl and I'm expecting to transition next year for maybe like summer so in the meantime I want to know if you have any good advices to start looking more feminine, for instance I am letting my hair grow out and I'm using a shampoo for that, I try to use more feminine mannerisms like walking, talking and moving in a more stereotypical feminine way I also I have a skincare routine, but my main problem is my physical appearance mainly my face, I'm very chubby and I'm already starting to eat better and do exercise (I'm using an exercise app made for women don't know if that'll work) I mainly want to change my face to be more feminine, it's round, I have a big nose, big cheeks and in order to fix it I want to know if there are things I can do to emphasize my femenine features or something like that, I also wanna know if there's a way that doesn't require make up, I haven't come out yet to my dad and he's sadly really conservative so i can't use make up yet. So basically if you've got any advices that you think will help me I'll appreciate them! Thank you! 😊
I really really want to start HRT but am worried about the cost. I live in washington state and would use a nearby planned parenthood to get my hormones. I don't really have an income as i am a student and my parents are transphobic so i can't use my insurance. About how much a month would it cost to pay out of pocket? Any help is appreciated!
I came out to one of my oldest and closest friends tonight. I spent the night in extreme turmoil about it. Finally got up the courage and blurted it out. Her response "Yea, that doesn't surprise me at all. I'm happy for you.". My first response was "Why do people keep saying that to me?" Followed by tears of joy. Just had to share a happy ending.
Hello! I’m a year or so into a very slow and cowardly social transition into manhood, and ohhhh sweet Jesus I am frightened. I’m out to most close friends and passing often enough to feel kinda fantastic some of the time - but I’m not out to extended family at all. I live in the UK - half my family in Greece, half in Eastern Europe. I’m kind of semi-estranged from the EE half (not in a hostile way, just like,, war, so we didn’t really stay close and there is simply no way they specifically would be on board even with entry-level LGBT stuff) but the other half…I love them. I love the Greek side so much, and I think there’s this awful chance that they might be accepting. They are the less-homophobic half of my extended family, but fuck me if that group chat hasn’t popped off with a bunch of random trans jokes now and again and made my blood run cold… I’ve put off telling them for ages, thinking I’d take stuff slow and try not to panic (this was so smart of me ngl), but now it’s been a year and I’m probably visiting in the next few months, and I’ve actually been thinking (with excitement!) about the future I want, so…yeah. Kinda can’t keep my mind off it any more! Especially since I had this dream that my 10-year-old cousin delivered a stream of vitriol about how I should go to conversion therapy and they all hate me and he spoke in MY VOICE so now I’m like damn there’s some baggage
I don’t want to cut them off, I don’t want to not-transition…I’ve considered some sort of slapstick situation where I basically totally transition in the UK and then sort of…hide it? When I’m in Greece? And it’s hot and we’re on the beach and they’ll be like ‘not to be rude but you seem to have completely changed shape??’ And what, block them on all social media so they can never see photos, and share nothing about my life?? I don’t even want to watch that movie. But I think there’s a real chance they will hate this, sort of terminally. And I think I’ve been genuinely terrified of that since waaay before I noticed any sort of gender rattling around in there.
This has been an absolute communicative soup; forgive me!!! Really I’m just hoping anyone who’s had to come out to extended family overseas, whom you don’t see very often but love very much, might have some words of advice. Like how to soften the blow, how they reacted, anything you’d do differently, what your biggest advice-chunk might be…regardless of whether they’re Greek or not! It’s just the distance and the difference I’m feeling acutely, and the fact that….i mean, heck. Beach 😭
Also for context I’m 25 idk if that’s relevant