It's so easy to be negative with everything going on in the world, but I promise being kind for the sake of kindness is one of the greatest feelings i've ever had. Before transitioning, I was hateful, rude, and insufferable. I pushed everyone away because it's easier to be negative then to confront your thoughts and emotions. You can't fight hate with hate, trust me i've tried. When people are rude or nasty, give them a smile, it's the last thing they want from you.

Love yall, stay positive! 💙🩷🤍🩷💙

It is an app to find friends your age, and I messaged someone asking what they were doing

They responded with "gaslighting men"

They said I looked like I was cosplaying Harry styles in a photo of myself

And I asked if it was a good thing, cuz that I liked the outfit

They then said "here's the thing. Putting yourself in a dress doesn't make you a girl"

Idk im probably overeating, but this just really hurt.

For a little bit of background I'm a trans girl living in the Uk, I'm only in year 10 (9th grade if you're American) but I really want to start estrogen. My issue at the moment isn't with passing because I've been pretty feminine my whole life and it's gotten to the point that people usually just assume I'm a girl because of how I dress and look etc. What I'm worried about is the fact that as i get older my body and my voice is going to change, as it already is, and I do not want that to happen.

Is there anything I can do to offset this or prevent it from happening flat out?? I'm super worried about looking more masculine as I grow up and I'm looking for something to tide me over until I can start estrogen.

I’ve been doing my own injections for the past few months after 2 yrs of having to go to hospital for help. Sometimes I have a really hard time and tonight is ESPECIALLY bad for me. It’s been hard fighting a crippling needle phobia that made me faint and last out all my life. I live far away from the hospital and cabs are expensive. If anybody could link me to any reliable auto injectors please do. I don’t care about price if it’s a worthy investment!

Just wrapped up my second follow-up post op and feeling great. No more medical binder and my scars are looking good so far! So glad I got this done and I’ve never been happier tbh. Feel free to AMA!

This is kind of a weird situation so bear with me.

I'm nonbinary and am pretty much completely open about my identity, so my parents know. I use it/they pronouns (I prefer it/its but have gotten a lot of push back). My mom uses they/them pretty successfully but my dad generally uses she/her for me unless corrected. The thing is, he uses they/them for cis women. He correctly gendered a transfem friend of mine so it is just cis women. And my grandma has yelled at him for misgendering her so he can't be totally unaware of this.

I find it very odd. Has anyone else had anything like this? I don't know why he would do this.

Hello, I'm a AMAB questioning my gender identity. Yesterday I decided to experiment a little bit with makeup to see wether or not it felt right (Although makeup doesn't have to have an assigned gender). It felt great, and I think I got some euphoria while looking at the mirror. Liked it so much that when I woke up today, the first thing I did was to do it again. I feel in peace, although I don't have any disphoria. It's really strange because until two days ago I didn't even question my gender identity, and now I don't really know what I feel.

This so frustrating!! I want to train my voice and sound more feminine but I dont know if im doing it right!!!! I dont know if i sound ok or just stupidsdd how long is this supposed to take even ahhhghhbbb its so frustrating ;-;

I sent someone voice messages and listening back to it, I sound so f-ing bad, it's nothing like a girl. I'm not motivated even one bit to do all that sh*t just to get a voice that is a little bit more appropriate for me as a girl. Like man, cis people don't have to do this. I'm cringing on my own voice, I think I should always stay quiet. I wouldn't have these problems if I was just born in the correct body, I'll just stay quiet.

Hi friends, I’m(mtf) having a rough time mentally. I voluntarily admitted myself to the psych ward as one does. Currently placed in holding cause they don’t know if they have the beds, but also in my evaluation they told me it’ll likely take longer for me to find a bed because I’m trans.

I’m only slightly paraphrasing. I was told point blank that they don’t let trans people share rooms with cis people because that’s just the policy. This rattled me for a few different reasons.

First there’s only two beds that have their own rooms in what is a pretty sizable unit. I’m still waiting for a bed and it’s been over 24 hours.

Second, the only reasoning I could possibly put together for why this is the case is that they don’t want to make cis people uncomfortable.

When the woman explained it to me she said “most people prefer their own room anyways so it’s actually a nice thing” but as a trans person I have no qualms sharing a room with a cis person. Especially if it meant I could leave the ER holding place.

I’ve been hospitalized before in Indiana, even there they didn’t blink twice when they had me share a room with a cis person.

I left Indiana to get away from shit like this. It just sucks that at a time I need help most, I can’t receive that help on account of needing to make cis people comfortable.

The hospital is NYU Tisch hospital just so other trans folk in the NYC area are aware.

It's been about 2 months since I first came out to some friends and it was great, but since then I've noticed I'm more stressed and often have feelings of just emptiness. I still feel happy so I don't understand where it's coming from. Does anyone know what it could be? Thanks to anyone who can offer something up!

Many cities have buses or trains, usually labeled in pink, that are only for women. My impression is that sexual harassment in these spaces is more rare than in other buses and trains.

As a trans person, how do you feel about this? Would you support these in your hometown?

Personally, I’m conflicted. I don’t like spaces that make me have to ask “how am I currently being perceived in terms of gender presentation?”. Women-only cars aren’t addressing the root of the problem—harassment by men—but I pragmatically see how they help reduce harassment without much cost (monetarily, at least).

Doc told me I'd have to go in person to sign the informed consent before they can send the prescription through. Does anyone else from Florida know how long it'll take them to contact me?

Hey fam,

I give up.... nope not really, but I don't get it. FIrst of all: No, I don't talk about ALL "older queers", but there are some who really don't seem to give a f**k about those "newfangled queer crap"

I, like many other queers,. find more comfort in the presence of other queer people or true allies.
My problem is that I am under the false impression that "queer is queer".

Two of my friends, who I count among my "best friends", are a lesbian couple, who are married for....phew....close to 10 years now, I think. They were already together when I moved to this town which was 16 years ago.

Anyway, not only did they not understand the concept of "nonbinary", they think it's the same as transgender (in the colloquial sense, with transition, HRT and GRS).

But today, the very same two people took the bun today....

We talked about the upcoming political changes in Germany, with the right wing conservatives most likely coming to power in February. And I quoted a news article I recently read, where a spokesperson talked about laws that they will allegedly revert, among them the self ID law.

And they both said "Yeah, that's okay. We don't think everyone should be able to transition without any evaluation or any other requirements."

I tried to remain calm, and changed the subject, but inside.... I....was....furious.

WHY? Why are those conservative queers to....NARROWMINDED? Should we all be in the same boat? Really?

And the icing on the cake is that apparently, they don't have the same reasons to reject the freedom of self-determination as many other right wing conservatives ("protection of cis-women bla bla bla"). Because when I brought THIS up, they reacted with disbelief of such "stupid ideas"....

I don't know. I even stopped being myself around them. I don't wear any "feminine" clothes around them, or anything that might give the "wrong impression" for fear of rejection.....

I thought, we are a big rainbow family, but it seems I was wrong....

I'm roughly 9 months in, and about a month and a half or so ago I got prescribed progesterone once nightly to add to my 4mg (2mg tablets twice a day) E and 100mg (50mg pill twice daily) spiro. It was going fine I thought. To be clear my levels were basically perfect before going on Progesterone. All my acne, oily skin and hair, almost completely gone all 8 months. But now it feels like my skin and hair is getting super oily super quickly again. But I can't get my levels checked at Planned Parenthood like I usually do because of my insurance going away because I work too much apparently. So I don't know whether to stop taking it for now and letting my doctor know whenever I can see them again whenever that is or just keep taking it and hope that it balances out again. Is this something other folks have experienced? Could this be my T levels rising again? I'm just super nervous about this whole thing so any advice would be greatly appreciated.

So I am 24 and ftm. I have been on testosterone for 3 years and came out to everyone in 2020. So everyone in my life knows that I am transitioning from female to male. My voice is deep, my body looks male and I have a beard. But my dad’s side of the family still misgenders me. I use he/him pronouns and they don’t even try to use those pronouns with me. They continue to call me she and treat me as one of the girls in the family. When my grandparents are told that I go by he/him they always make the excuse that they are old and can’t remember. But they remember everything else, so why is it that they suddenly can’t remember to call me he? I was really shocked when my cousin who is my age started calling me she again yesterday. She usually calls me he. So that caught me off guard. My dad’s side of the family are conservative Christian’s. At least my grandparents are. But I am tired of letting them make me feel uncomfortable and anxious every time I see them. So could anyone give me some advice on how to be assertive and set some boundaries with them? I am sick of letting people walk all over me and being a people pleaser. It is time for my voice to be heard and it is time to stand up for myself. Unfortunately if they cannot respect me then I am going to have to not see them at all. I already limited my time with them. I barely see them anymore because I can’t deal with the nonsense.

Context:

I am MTF and have been transitioning for about 5 and 1/2 years. For whatever reason, on hormones I went from never passing to passing pretty much 100% in that time span. I don't really know why, other than HRT worked really well for me, being a vocalist helped me a lot with voice training, etc etc. Not really here to speculate on that.

Along my journey, I've had a sort of interesting arc with my presentation. Pre transition, I loved clothing. I was the type of guy who spent a little more money on clothes, frequented boutiques when I had the money. I wore raw denim, turtlenecks... I had this nice Japanese messenger bag instead of a backpack in college. People didn't clock me as queer back then (to my knowledge) but I definitely dressed interesting to a lot of people. When I came out, I decided I hated all of my clothes. I donated a ton of them, I said I never want to wear anything with a "mens" tag in it, never wanted to wear jeans again. Started living in dresses and skirts and leggings. This went on for a while, all when I was really struggling to pass and just getting started with HRT. Eventually, I went full boymoder. Big hoodies and baggy pants all the time.

As the years went by, I eventually noticed that I was male failing constantly. And I was beginning to put together that I didn't need to dress femme to get she/her from people at all. This was very surreal at the time, and I still often doubt my appearance over it, but anyway, this was around when Gen z women got really into 90s straight leg jeans and I jumped on that train full steam ahead. Got back into jeans and even wearing a lot of "mens" clothing again. At heart, I am a tomboy. I wear my hair long, I love my curves, I like being perceived as femme, but I am very Sapphic and like to be perceived that way too.

Now for the actual story:

I'm working a seasonal position at Costco rn and they have sent me from the front end up to the bakery a couple times now. At one point, there's this girl who we'll call "Anita". Anita is a divorced mid 40s straight woman with BPD who never shuts up about herself. She's packing croissants next to me and starts going off about how her boyfriend's friends are all "super gay for each other". She keeps going and calls them homos. This really offends me, so I tell her to knock it off.

Later, I am complaining to another worker in the bakery and say this comment: "Look, it does not take a fucking fortune teller to figure out that I'm gay." She laughs. Secretly, in my head, I'm keeping up my stealth by telling people that I'm gay and leaving it their. When I do that, pretty much everyone just categorizes me as a lesbian and moves on. Well...

Yesterday, I'm closing the bakery with a third, unrelated baker. She comes right up to me and asks "so are you gay?" Oh. Oh God, they all talked, I think to myself. Then she asks "you and Anita are gay?" What? I know Anita isn't popular up there so they don't talk. But what? Is everyone's gaydar broken? Their eyes and ears too? She talks about her boyfriend constantly. Whatever, I think, "No, Anita's straight, that's why her comment irked me" I tell her.

"You know," she adds, "it's really funny, but the first time you came up to bakery (fourth unrelated coworker) told me that she thought YOU were a GUY." 😳 "Yea, she was calling you a HE, but I told her, 'no, HE is a SHE. Yea. Cause I have a lot of gay friends, so I know.'"

Stunned silence. I can't even think. I'm putting cookies in boxes and answering customers questions and just completely psychologically destroyed by this. Do I pass? Is this what cis lesbians go through regularly? Should I be worried using public restrooms? What was I wearing that day?

I've had a little time to think about it, and basically my assumption is that gay women are just not a recognized thing here. I'm still treated in such a way 99% of the time that I'm confident in my passing. My queer friend from work told me that when I said I'm trans, at first she assumed I was FTM lmao. So I think it's just that dykey girls with no makeup no bra and dad jeans throws off certain older conservative women?

Peers, I know I'm playing passing on easy mode at this point. But this still really fucked with me. Thank you for reading this far :) have a nice day.

I know, I really know that I don’t feel 100% comfortable with my gender. I go through periods where it’s very persistent, and I can barely ignore it.

But I’m never going to do anything about it. I was cursed with the blessing of looking exactly like my dad. I had short hair for a while, and it only made it worse—we’re… identical. I’m my father at 6’2” in a 5’1” body. And I refuse to resemble him any more than I already do. End of story!!! I refuse to transition.

(This post is just coping haha, I have more personal reasons, but I’ve been feeling strange again these days, and I needed to share this because I’ll never talk about it with anyone close to me. I hope this isn’t offensive???)

I never heard of this from other countries, but here in Germany, my insurance required me to provide several documents to approve the coverage of my surgeries. These documents included a note from my psychotherapist, surgeon and endocrinologist.

But I was also required to provide what they called a "Trans CV" or in other words: "a personally written document with biographical information (sexual biography), pressure of suffering and personal information".

This would be a 3-5 pages documents in which I tell my life story from childhood to current time, explaining who I am, what my "transgender story" is and how much I suffer.

While I of course went along and wrote it, I find it profoundly humiliating and unnecessary. First of all, I already went to the psychotherapist for 12 sessions, as required by the insurance. During these sessions, I was made to do exactly that: telling my life and expressing how I suffer from being born with the "wrong" sex.

I do suffer but I do not like this approach because I hate to lament myself. I was asked by the psychotherapist to rate how much I think I suffer compared to other people. I am well-off person living in a 1st world country... So while of course, like any other humans, I have personal struggles, I am not comfortable saying that I suffer more than others.

But at least, the psychotherapist was a person in front of me, with whom I could connect as human being. It was not a faceless figure and one could assume that a psychotherapist knows to build trust with the patient. Creating a safe space in which I can talk about some of my deeper intimate struggles.

In the document provided by the psychotherapist to the insurance (it is several pages long), they write my "transgender history", including elements of my childhood all the way up to the current time.

But I am still require to write another document in which I must again talk about some of the most distressing elements of my life to a literal faceless figure who, as far as I know, is not a psychotherapist. I do not know how many people will read my documents, I do not know who they are, I do not know what competences they have. They are just "the insurance".

What is the point of having a expert opinion from the psychotherapist then? If an expert evaluated me, cleared up that I am in fact trans, that I am in fact suffering and that it is in fact reasonable for me to receive those surgeries, added to the fact that I have been on hormones for years now (which the insurance would know about too), what is the point?

I find it humiliating and distressing. I handle it well because there are far greater problems in life, but I do strongly believe it should not be that way. I wonder how it is for people in other countries, and if you have to subject yourself to similar absurdities of procedures?

It’s nerve racking to see who will still be with me (24 mtf) through it all and who will drop me. But last night I took the leap and changed my name and pronouns across every piece of social media I have. For context I’ve only been partially out for 2+ years now. No more hiding any more. :3

i think i finally clocked that i'm a dude after repressing it for years and i don't know where the fuck to go from here. i've had the idea shortly so many times for so many years and pushed it away every time but it's like i can't this time. like i bit some fucking apple and can never go back no matter how much i want to. i feel like my life is gonna be miserable from here on if i don't find a way to return and try to be comfortable with womanhood again.

i've felt so much euphoria every time i felt like i've passed, or looking at myself in the mirror and seeing a boy, even if it only lasts a few seconds. it's nothing compared to the intense dysphoria that's been surfacing further and further these past few weeks though.

if i could push a button that would start my life over as a boy, i would in an instant, no doubt in my mind. but as things are right now, i don't know if i'll ever feel safe enough to go through with this. i want to come out but i'm terrified that nobody will listen to me or that everyone will abandon me because of this.

i'm seeing a straight guy, and i like him a lot. it makes me fucking miserable to know that he'd probably never look my way again if he knew that i'm a boy. or that he'd hate me for lying, or technically make him gay or something. my female friendships would be fucked over as well if i went through with this. i just don’t know if i can go back again, even though i want to pretend i never had this realisation :(

idk where to start. i just turned 32. ive been transitioning for going on 9 years. every few months i get to a place where im making a detailed plan to kms, getting supplies and finding the right place, but i never have it in me to go through with it.

i'm out to my friends and family and a handful of people at work. i find myself avoiding people that im not out to because it's exhausting and distressing to pretend to be [deadname.] But i also find myself avoiding the people that I'm out to because the thought of being around someone who knows this thing about me also makes me feel distressed and ashamed.

so i tend to isolate. i cant go on living this way.

im going to start a new job soon at a place that i absolutely love. i already cover shifts there sometimes so everyone there knows me, but early next year im going to work there full time. the people there are bright and passionate. it's kind of a dream come true for me. but im also dreading it.

because there's this contradiction when im there. that im in the place i want to be but im not the person i want to be. im still [deadname.]

ive known i would be moving over to this new location for a year now and the hope was to come out by the time the day came.

i have imagined having the conversations i need to have over and over in my head. it's a little daunting to think of how to even go about doing this. there are dozens of people that i would need to come out to. do i have dozens of coming out conversations? do i just hold one coming out meeting/send one coming out email?

And then i get to thinking that i really like it there a lot, its a dream job, and i dont want to ruin that by being trans. so maybe i should just not say anything.

Because i dont really know if telling people im trans helps. because i still feel uncomfortable when people know im trans, its just slightly different. and there's a risk of negative response that it makes me wonder if it's worth it to come out.

But i have to come out. i know that if things dont change im going to die. im just not convinced things can get meaningfully better.

I made a post yesterday about how being openly trans makes me feel hypervisible and how i prefer to go unnoticed. I got a lot of good comments. A common response was something along the lines of, "you just have to learn to not care what people think and do things for yourself."

This seems like good advice. my issue is that i have a desire to present as a woman but feel uncomfortable with how it makes me more visible being an amab person. so the advice is to shut out the noise and present the way that makes you feel good.

the problem is that, while i have a desire to present fem, it doesn't actually feel good personally to do so, and it hasnt felt good since before puberty because of the way my body is now.

so im uncomfortable living as a man. so i tell some people that im trans. but it feels uncomfortable being "a man who identifies as a woman." and this isnt just about caring about what other people think. it's the way i think about myself as well.

i dont like the feeling of being "a man in a dress." it's not just that i worry that others think that about me, that's how i feel about myself when i put on a dress.

this is going on really long and i dont know if im getting anywhere. i just feel like im being squeezed from all different directions. it hurts living as a man but i can't understand how i could actually escape my "man-ness." it sucks living as a man, it sucks being openly trans. it sucks wearing men's clothes, it sucks wearing women's clothes.

some day im going to figure out how to talk about this in a way that makes sense to other people and allows for a productive conversation that helps get me to a place where being alive feels ok.

i just feel like being trans has taken my whole life from me. it's the reason i dont go to the places i want to go or do the things i want to do. it's the reason i dont reach out to people or ever have more than surface level conversations with people. it's the reason i never went to college.

it makes having a social life feel impossible. when i think about going to a place and being around people, i immediately run into problems. starting with, what name do i use? before that even, how do i speak? what does my voice sound like? before that, what do i wear?

when i pretend to be a man, there's no friction. people see a man in front of them and i reflect that assumption back to them. it just feels easier.

to be a woman, well it's not even clear what that means for me. i can give people my chosen name, but they are invariably confused at my introducing myself with a woman's name. or they remember "the outlaw josey wales" and think it's just an uncommon man's name.

like real idk how to do it. pls tell your stories how did you do that, what actions i should and should not do

Look, I know I'm queer of SOME sort, whether that means lesbian, bi, or being a gay trans man, and i haven't figured out which it is. However, this post isn't about sexuality, it's about gender identity. Anyhow, I've tried out using different names, more gender neutral, masculine aligned names. Using them didn't work, and it wasn't because the people i chose to use them with weren't supportive, it was because they just didn't feel like my name. But when i went back to my legal name, that didn't feel right either. I really don't want to try with any other names with risk that they'll make me feel that weird ass dread that came with hearing other people say them out loud. However, the thing is, I don't care too much about pronouns, or if people see me as a man. (excluding in a relationship because if i were dating a man, if he saw me as a woman i would sob) I have also cried multiple times at night thinking about how I'll never have a dick, and how IF i started dating a man, he'd never see me as his boyfriend, instead seeing me as his girlfriend. i have a whole playlist that i listen when i cry about stuff like this too, and most of them honestly make me cry harder, since a lot of them are either about being mlm or just.. being a woman. Anyway, same thing with my voice, whenever i look in the mirror and speak i freak out because i am NOT supposed to sound like that. recently, i'm sick, and i'm congested so my voice is, naturally, deeper, and it makes me so much happier. i think the first time last year i was sick like this was when i started piecing together who i was. sometimes i wish i could just wake up a man; it would make things SO much better. The main thing i was a bit confused about was both the name thing and that i don't care (most of the time) about being referred to using he/him or being seen as a man. (again, in most situations sans the one i mentioned before) am i like... non-binary or something?? all the time i spent trying to figure out these labels and what they mean and yet i still can't find one that works for me.

Hey l've made a similar post about a month ago or so but l live alone with my parents in a small rural town and don't have a job to earn money to move back out to the city and try to make friends in the public space there. Im turning to the internet and seeing if any women on here would be interested in potentially becoming online friends with me? Im trans and BIPOC btw. Have a good day ✨

Where are you from? I do not have any trans friends, but i wish i had one. Are posts like this okay, cause my english is not very good? If not pls tell me! Wish you all a great day !

Could anyone help me find out more information on how to change my legal name in Tennessee. (FTM 20)

Hello, I am travelling to America in February. Is estrogel prescribed to trans women in America? It's extremely difficult to get drugs/medicine into America and I read it has to be FDA approved. Is that true? Anyway, I will bring my prescription and a note from my doctor

Hi I'm moving to Argentina and I thought it would be the perfect time to start medically transitioning, however I am rather young and such I'm not sure on the legislation and regulations around hrt. I would love to start as soon as possible. Thank you !!!!!