I just wanted to say that I love you all so much! I love yaoi and gay corn so much even though I am a straight woman and every time I see one of you I feel so happy. ❤️ #BL!

To preface this, i’m 18 now, turning 19 in April. I’ve never been in a relationship or had any sexual experiences with another person. I don’t have anyone in my life that i can talk about these things with so i kind of just wanted to pick your guy’s brains.

My main question is, what are your thoughts on hookup apps? (Grindr, Sniffies, Scruff, etc.) and i mean honest thoughts. Yes, I know everyone’s experiences are different and the timeline is unique to each person and their situation, but i feel like i’m kind of “late to the party”. I’ve always been into guys that are older than me, i’m not sure what it is but I’ve never really been able to see myself with a guy my age. Which resulted in me kind of just not really pursuing any type of relationship in high school (except this one guy i met freshmen year, he was a sophomore and 2 years older than me. Had a crush on him for the next 3 years until he graduated, and then a little bit until my senior year. There were a handful of moments that gave me the inkling he might’ve been gay or bi, but ultimately I came to the conclusion he was straight or at least not interested, we slowly stopped talking then he joined the military).

Recently i’ve been just scrolling through the apps seeing what’s out there in my area which i’ve pretty much been doing since i turned 18. I never really used to respond to anyone if they messaged me or sent any messages to anyone i found attractive, but recently i’ve noticed i almost want to. Ive known I was gay for a while but it took me a couple years to really accept myself, due to the fairly common religious, conservative family upbringing. Now that i’m pretty secure in who i am and what i want, I kind of feel this desire to want to start meeting with people and have my first experiences.

However, I don’t know if hookup apps are the way to go about it. But then again, I live in a pretty conservative state and city and i’m not really into guys my age so meeting people organically kind of just seems impossible. Which is why i’m here asking for thoughts / opinions. I’m not in an insane rush, but i also don’t want this to be something i just keep waiting for and pushing it off, because i genuinely want to. I just don’t want to do anything i’m going to regret.

So please let me know your thoughts and opinions. Also, i’m sorry if this is all over the place or missing details you may want to know that i might’ve forgotten, I’m writing this while insanely tired, lol. But just ask and i’ll try to reply. Thanks :)

hey all, australian here! first time commenter. context - i am in a long term partnership/marriage, prior to this i had dated before but wasn’t adventurous sexually until the latter but the envelope hasn’t been pushed hugely. so, i would call my sexual ideals somewhat experienced but somewhat feel myself becoming more “slutty at my own solo sex” but i feel myself leaning to be more adventurous…if that’s the right word. just wanna throw out the help for some common thoughts, guidance and see if anyone else has felt this way before.

1. i’ve gotten sick of lube and usually do dry handjobs. i’ve seen guys use types of vasalines, jelly’s, oils and all types of things for handjobs - are these safe? what’s the difference? what do you guys prefer?
2. i do have a dildo coming in the mail expecting tomorrow and i’d love to switch up my use of lube for that, can anyone point me in the right direction there? and any tips or advice in taking a good piece ;)
3. starting to find good toys and underwear and would LOVE some affordable recommendations. i’m growing into a big slut type guy and would love some recommendations, personal preference, daily use qnd just good conversation. i use johnnie’s closet regularly. i love anything, suits, leather, thongs, anything.
4. i’d love to start increasing my edging and jack load. if anyone could shout any tips, vitamins, help or coaching, i’d love!
5. has anyone felt this way? a growing sense of yourself becoming more risky, adventurous when not the biggest or at all in the past. what do you do now and how different is it from what you were doing? what do you guys use to get you off; toys, porn, platforms, ect..?

thank you all! sorry for the bombarding all of you, but i just love good conversations, chatting and help for anyone like myself! cm ;)

Does it matter about cum load size? In a heavy cummer and cum more times than one and I've been told its a turn off, either because it's much cum or too thick of loads or to man times I cum. Is it a turn on for cum to be thick?

Context: I'm a 22 year old gay twink in India. I am out of the closet and everything is good.

I have daddy issues; I like men between 30-40 A LOT. You'll find them on grindr easily but 90% of them will be (cis-het)married, 50% with wife and kid(s).

Problem: Most men I like are married, I don't like that, but I love the sex. It doesn't even bother me (almost), but then I very well know it's wrong and embarrassing...

I don't know hiw to feel about it, but I genuinely don't feel guilt because if not me, they'd find someone else more desperate... and I don't really feel responsible for other people's marriages...

Help me make sense.

What the title says. Is lavender oil safe to use as lube with my partner? No toys, just the two of us. Same question for almond oil and olive oil. I've never used anything but store-bought lube up my bum but it's becoming insanely expensive in my country (thanks inflation) + I like the idea of lavender since it's my favorite scent

I've always asked myself this question. I see some people saying yes, others no... so, I wanted to know your take on this.

This might sound weird, but I went to a drag show today and it was terrible. My friend performed and everything, but I just felt so uncomfortable. I don’t mind trans people or gender fluid or whatever at all, idk I just hated it. Why do I think like this?

i'm bi although my parents are pastors, they don't know it. i'm okay with that, i'll say it when i am on my own. But, for this reason, i'm not clear about my feelings. I don't feel confident at all about sharing my problems. Now, i need to tell someone my collage problems and being hugged, but i'm not sure of saying to them. i tried tell them a girl that i had a crush and a closed friend, but she wasn't cozy at all, 'cause she has her bf and bla bla bla. She can't and she doesn't want too. i needed her to tell mine and be hugged and i got the first, so i'm grateful in and I know myself, and I realize I don't have anyone to confide in. But for this reason i'm here, i need to ask now. What could you do if you're me?

Maybe it’s weird for me (m23) to have a crush on someone because I’m a very tamed person with my feelings. I don’t easily catch crushes but I somehow recently caught a crush on a guy working in my group project. I’m not sure if he’s gay or bi but as someone who never had an actual bf, I’m kinda over thinking this. He held the door for me when i walked in class (today we formally introduced each other). The other day, he was kinda lingering around me and I think he was staring at me the some other classes ago?

I’m probably overthinking this and my gaydar doesn’t work well lol. I should be realistic and not fantasize my BL dreams lol. Idk how to deal with crushes 😅 Oh I also said bye to him 3 times today lol

I’ve haven’t been feeling right lately and I guess it’s me just finally taking in that there’s no fighting the weird feeling I have in my life. I think I’ve finally realized after 2 years of denial that I’m just gay and that’s all there is to it, and there’s no use fighting it. I’ve been feeling really depressed ever since this realization and I think it’s because I’m alone in my thoughts. I can’t spend forever just thinking it and I need to get it out there. Please help me I don’t know how much more of this awful pit in my stomach I can possibly take. 🙏🙏🙏

If you look up gay men on Instagram, almost 99% of them are muscular. You rarely ever see gay men who are chubby or skinny on that app.

I'm usually very masculine and people assume I'm a straight man, but sometimes I'd like to be perceived as a gay man. Any tips on how to make it more obvious? I can dress in feminine ways sometimes, but I'm not always in the mood for it.

Although Rupaul will have to get rid of herself, Michelle and especially Carson one day this is by far the happiest place on TV.

You could be in your head wondering about life love and politics but you turn on RPDR and it is pure escapism and it makes you empathetic ...hug those around you and maybe even put on some makeup of your own.

But how long will and can it last because Bebe Zahara Benet should be next in line to carry the mantle...but the series needs some tweaking and fast.

The Sasha Colby win was contrived especailly coming after Kerry Colby gave her sex fantastic we get the glamazon who was used to keep the transgender community happy.

I'd rather Galla Varo come and compete in USA All Stars so she can show them what sextastic really is all about.

Will end season 20

My situation: 40M, in an open relationship with 38M. In the first years of our relationship, I was also dating another guy. In the first years of our relationship, I was also dating another guy. But since the amicable breakup with my ex (all three of us are still great friends), me and current partner have been exclusive for years now, mostly because of the pandemic, stressful life situations, etc. But now I am exploring dating/hooking up again. I have no prior experience in dating strangers; I have only dated men I knew beforehand.

A few days ago, I had one date, but we had no sexual chemistry. Today, I have another date lined up.

But I am afraid I do not know how to flirt with men I am interested in! I am so used to acting straight-like in public places that I feel that I cannot get into the right headspace to express my interest. Does this sound familiar to anyone? Any tips/advice?

EDIT: If it is relevant, I am a passive bottom, quite feminine and seeking active, masculine tops.

I'm 25 and for my entire sexual life thus far I have been pretty much strictly a bottom. The few times I did try to top when I was 19 or 20 I always either came really quickly out of excitement or couldn't get hard enough to get it in, which I think are both normal but I just got too discouraged lol. After a few failed tries + being insecure about my size I just gave up and figured I would be a bottom forever lol.

Until... in early October 2024 I started hooking up with this sweet daddy in my neighborhood and one day I topped him out of NOWHERE and it was so natural and seamless and unplanned and fucking HOTTTT. He sat on it and just looked at me for a sec and then I flipped him onto his hack and put his knees by his ears and proceeded to give it my all for like 4 minutes :P I honestly couldn't believe the look on his face and just the sounds he was making as I was fucking him- it was something I literally never thought I would give somebody just because of silly insecurities of mine.

We kept hooking up for a few months but I ended it over some other stuff. Nonetheless it was an extremely healing experience to say the least. Idk if this sounds lame but I almost feel complete now. This is a whole new side of myself I have unlocked the confidence to explore. Ever since I've been an adult I have been convinced that not only would I never get to experience that, but more importantly that I would never be able to pleasure my partner in that way. I feel so happy to say that now that's not something that occupies my mind or weighs on my heart.

Hey, I'm 18 and pretty much every man I've interacted with Ive met on a dating app. I'm absolutely fucking sick and tired of the whole gay dating app culture, and I would love to know where I can meet men besides. I know about gay bars and gay clubs etc, and Ive been to a couple, but it really isn't my scene because the men are just extremely touchy, lowkey borderline rapists, and always double/triple my age. Asking where I could meet a nice guy around my age besides from a dating app probably sounds like I'm asking for a fucking divine intervention because it just seems so impossible lol. But feel free to give me some info 🙏

So a little context I am a verse bi male in my late thirties. Usually with men I like femboys and twinks. As I am a verbally dominate top. I have only ever bottomed once or twice for someone years ago and that was in the spur of the moment. Lately however I have been horny to be a bottom and have a strong older man gently take me and fill me up like a Twinkie. To explore this side of me I purchased both a dildo and a remote controlled prostate massager. They both feel great now that I’ve gotten over the physical pain of penetration the first couple of times.

My question is if I am horny and aroused and fucking my ass like I am a teink on holiday in Germany why am I not either getting or staying hard? Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

I remember seeing a video a couple years ago that featured a masculine gay marine talking about what he wanted in a soulmate. He said that he wanted his soulmate to act “straight-ish” like he does and for him to be a “normal” guy. If you have a preference for other masculine men, that’s fine, but why do you have to use the terms, “straight-ish” and “normal” to describe your masculine soulmate? Do you think that feminine gay men or gay men who don’t “pass for straight” aren’t normal?

for exampel would you date someone who is 21 years old but looks like 16-17 years old?

I'm entirely anorgasmic, as in I physically cannot have an orgasm. I'm a bottom, and I'm a bit self-conscious about the fact that I can't. I've made peace with the fact that I can't, but I wonder about how others might feel.

I'm single and I've never done anything sexual before; I wouldn't want my partner to feel bad that I'll never have an orgasm. Would it be better to just fake it? That would feel disingenuous to me.

Hi everyone, I've only met up with another man once. For context I was freshly 18 and he claimed to be 27. This happened in 2023. I didn't think penetrative sex would be initiated on our 1st meet, apparently the other guy did. We cuddled and gave each other head, that was fine. At some point (it's all a bit hazy) he ended up on top of me, and I couldn't get him off of me. He restrained my arms and then went to town back there. It wasn't discussed beforehand, and he didn't use a condom. I froze up, I tried to tell him it hurt, and his response was to start choking me. He stopped eventually, and I hurriedly made my excuses and left. I felt horrible and disgusting after; It's been eating at me for a year and half now. I already had trust issues with men, and I feel like this kind of ruined sex for me. I don't hook up, I can't really believe anyone is actually interested in me without ulterior motives. I can't get past the feeling that any hits I get on Scruff or Grindr just want to take advantage of me. I feel so lonely, yet terrified of other men. A horrible Catch-22. I guess you could say I'm looking for advice, or maybe this is just a vent post, idrk. Has anyone else experienced anything similar? If so, did you "get back out there" eventually? If yes, how?

Story time!

At 18, I met this boy in my first year of college and I fell head over heels for him. He was three years older than me, but we both were in the same batch. We got off really well, had a great mutual circle of bros too. And some time later I came out to them and everyone, including him, was chill about it.

Over time I got closer to him and it was kinda apparent that I really liked him. You know, anyone could see it with the way I jumped around him like an excited poodle, trying to get his attention and all. He was sort of a typical jock with his athletic physique, his cool bike and car, sporty interests and smoking habits etc. I was more of a high achieving, flamboyant bratty gay kid with high fashion standards and problematic opinions. So in everyone’s opinion we did make a good match XD. Well anyways my obsession kinda grew and he used to maybe enjoy the attention I gave him. Always doing him favours and being around like a fan you know. But then he got a girlfriend in our second year and I distanced myself from him. We were still good friends though but then I started ignoring him, got busy with my academics and extracurriculars. And things turned around. For over a year he was the one trying to connect with me but I just unintentionally avoided him, staying off the grid.

But in our final year we reconnected after his breakup. He changed. From being sensible and matured he went down to be more reckless and carefree. He started spending more time with me and telling me about how his breakup really changed him. We went on a couple of trips together and I stayed close to him. Well that past flame just rekindled somehow and my feelings were back all over again. I grew too obsessed with him. To the point my entire days started circling around his presence and our interactions. For months I pondered over it. If I should confess or not. In my mind, he always knew cause of how apparent it was (even strangers used to guess it right). So to me, if he wasn’t oblivious to it, why was he always so comfortable around me and somehow kept building me up? I finally confessed to him about how I feel. And he said he knew i liked him but he never knew I liked him “that much”. Initially he turned me down and obviously I was devastated. But then he started giving me more time, taking me out for food, ice cream, long drives etc. I just accepted the fact that we might never truly be a thing but whatever scraps hes giving me, I’ll just take em.

As someone who grew up without a dad I have a lot of “daddy issues”. Uncontrollable anger and anxiety coupled up with my perfectionism and need to always be the best: I was and still am very chaotic. He however seemed to always be able to look past that facade of strength and perfection. He had this ability to calm me down and make me listen and understand and just for once not be that chaotic mess of a teen.

The problem was that I got too used to that treatment and a month before college ended he stopped. And that sort of threw me into an emotional mess. I became clingy and started asking why he has changed all of a sudden. He just told me he’s tired and then we haven’t talked ever since. On our graduation we just said goodbye and now he’s out of my life.

6 months have passed but Im still not over him. That’s completely changed me as a person. I dont even smile anymore.

If you're is a sexless marriage due to your partners medical issues. Is it ok get sex outside of your marriage?

I've been in therapy for a year now. A couple months ago i worked up the courage to come out as gay to my mom and siblings. My mom initially did not take it well. She blamed herself, felt hurt that i kept this secret from her, and had some of the typical homophobic stereotypes like assuming i hadn't done it enough with women. After many conversations i feel like our relationship has gotten better and we agreed to try to be more open and honest with each other, but I feel i cannot fully open up to her about Everything in my life.

problems my mom has with me: My mom has expressed numerous times that she feels I'm being deceptive and dishonest. She has stated i'm being deceptive in the following ways.

1. Calling me on weekend nights specifically and not hearing back from me.
2. not telling her about an STI i got a couple years ago (she assumes i'm having unprotected sex).
3. she resents me for going to therapy and not opening up to her about topics.

problems i have with my mom: I know my mom means well, but has justified her overstepping boundaries by being a protective and concerned mom.

1. She has gone through my text before (one time incident when she demanded to see who I was texting)
2. asked about deeply personal sexual topics (who i'm having sex with, what acts im performing, who my first time was with)
3. has gone through my bank account and confronted me on a purchase

It’s hard for me to be open and honest when trust is not being reciprocated.

4. The incident;

Additionally, I was sexually assaulted by a close family member. this is one of the main reasons why im in therapy and why i've been in the closet for so long. I have alot of shame about it and feels like a bombshell to drop on my family. I want to be more open to my mom but also feel like this would potentially ruin alot of things.

pros to talking about it:

1. it would give my mom context why im in therapy.
2. take the guilt off her conscious that she was the reason i couldn't come out sooner.
3. might help me heal past this incident by talking about it.

Cons:

1. It would hurt my relationship to this family member.
2. it would hurt their relationships to the rest of my family.
3. this would give my mom fuel to invalidate my identity (after i came out she asked was i sexually assaulted and in the moment i lied and said no).

I'm looking for advice or maybe just hearing if other people have had similar situations. I care about my mom and want to have a closer relationship, but i have this trauma that I feel would make ALOT of things worse for my family.

I thought I was bi because I liked a girl and also have liked a guy but now I find the thought of having sex with a girl gross and the thought of having sex with a guy as really hot I don't know how to feel back then when I liked a girl I didn't know I liked guys

If so how did it get started

Just so yall know im a 18 year old bottom and the why i say im jelaous of women is because they get to do things that are hard for me

I also hate my body and how i feel in it like i feel like i dont belong in my body and i hate when people ask me would i do butt things like i hate that, that's my only optional when it comes to sex

And I've always wanted to have like a baby but i wanna be able to carry my children, like i hate wanting to be pregnant so badly which is impossible for me

My body is very feminine like everything about me is feminine but i hate not being able to get pregnant and i mean i wanna be able to date easily like its so hard when most of the guys i talk to or find attractive are straight

But yeah i honestly wish i was a women