We finally set a date. January 1st. He likes the idea of us getting married 01/01/25. He likes the number, and it’s relatively easy to remember. We officially moved in together a little while ago and have finished finding a place for his and my things. We decided to get married in our apartment, just us, the officiant, and a couple close friends. Sadly, I’m not letting my family know I’m getting married, but the people I want to be there will be there. Can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with my future husband.

Hey guys,

I (21m) have been dating a guy (22m) for 2 months now. We’ve been sexually active and we’ve got really fulfilling and healthy sexual chemistry and a groove I wanted to share abt. Mainly because before, I didn’t know much about anal and sex. So I feel like it’s important to talking about prepping, whether it’s necessary, or what to do.

My and my boyfriend are vers so we’ve both topped and bottomed which is how I prefer it. Not only does it spice up the bedroom with 2x variety but we also understand how to have sex from experience on both ends.

We don’t prep, really, at all. No washing up, no douching, not tracking of food or dietary changes. I’m not quite understanding why this is seen as such a big thing. We must have healthy shits haha cause there’s never been any dirtiness. And if there was, that would be fine with me. Must be my gut cause we had Mexican food and then flip fucked after haha.

Also, we don’t rim or finger at all. We agreed early on that it makes us uncomfortable. And I have no issues getting used to his penis without either of those things.

Not saying that other people shouldn’t prep, rather, showing people that there’s many ways to have a gay sexual lifestyles, some of them are just as low maintenance and spontaneous as straight ways.

Basically, I tried talking with a girl in my class that I find really friendly, but when I told her to hang out some day, she told me a very lame excuse and I'm afraid she thought I was straight and trying to hook up with her or something. Should I try to do anything to let her know this wasn't my intention?

Is it problematic to not be attracted to feminine men ? If so, why ?

I know variations of this have been asked before, but I want to get some different perspectives on my situation.

I'm a single 21 year old and I'm putting myself out there on the apps at the moment (will hopefully be doing more in person soon). I don't really have any experience dating, but I'm curious about older guys. So far, most of the likes I've gotten on the apps are from older men, usually in their 30s and sometimes 40s.

I can appreciate how older men are more mature and tend to be more sure if what they want. Personally, I'm sure that I want to date with the hopes of getting to know someone to be in a serious relationship. Men my age looking for relationships tend to be more rare than older men looking for serious relationships.

I'm hesitant to actually date an older man because of the power imbalance, and also the difficulty we might have in relating to each other across generations. But should these concerns limit me from exploring?

These apps, or more precisely the men on these apps, are beyond frustrating. I've seen more sincerity from a Nigerian prince than some of the men I've encountered. That's my ted talk. Thanks for listening.

I’m 16. I think most people that know me wouldn’t be too surprised that i’m gay. I hang around mainly girls and act less masculine than most guys anyways. The only thing is idk how to come out or when etc. I’ve literally never spoke to a guy bc i don’t know any gay guys so what’s the point in coming out? Also how are people going to react? This is the first time i’ve ever told anyone loll

Long story short. Im gay but not out, very masc acting. I met this guy a few months ago through mutual friends and we have had brief conversations within the group.

Last month, he reached out to me and wanted to hang out (without the group). It wasnt specified that it would be just us but it was obvious as plans were made. We hanged Saturday and Sunday back to back one weekend and the next weekend again on Saturday. He invited me to a comedy show before our third time hanging out but I declined.

Now I have been attracted to him since Ive met him but I know how to keep things under control. I dont put out that Im attracted or into him (to my knowledge). But there’s something about him I cant put my finger on.

He’s initiated us hanging out every time we have. Our conversations flow but there is a little silence here and there. I feel like we skipped some steps and jumped into hanging alone while we were still in the beginning of getting to know eachother.

He doesn’t keep eye contact for too long before breaking so theres no romantic gaze, or at least to me. He’s also been trying to get me to join the gym he and some friends go to. Mentioned the hot tub a few times and a fee days ago, he sent me a picture of him and a friend in the hot tub shirtless and said “could have been here” basically. He also invited me to a concert where he works security.

I saw him tonight and he told me he was looking for me and was wondering if I would come. I notice when other people would come up to us while we were talking, he started doing this tapping thing with his finger each time.

I do know he was married before and I dont want to say what he is or isnt… but I feel like we are moving a bit fast becoming friends and maybe thats making me feel like the friend interest is being confused potentially with something else? But the amount of interest in the short period of time is throwing me off.

i, (19m) and my boyfriend (19m) are both living in the same town while he goes to college, i’m working full time while he is in school full time.

this past july i was visiting family where i was raised for the 4th and while shooting fireworks one tipped over and shot my back (nothing serious happened, just a mild burn and my shirt was burnt) after the fact i told my boyfriend and he started freaking until i told him i was okay and my cousin (who is a nurse) cleaned it and bandaged it. later that same night i was laying in the room i was staying in and started having an anxiety attack out of nowhere (this is nothing new, i get them all the time and take setraline) and really just missed my boyfriend, so i texted him and said i missed him and maybe an hour went by and i was still having an anxiety attack and after i was over it he hadn’t texted me back but i told him i had one and then i said “what if i have attachment anxiety” and not long after i took it back because this had never happened before.

i got back to our hometown and we got lunch and he started crying and said he wanted a break and said that i was making him stress out because he doesn’t want to be in a relationship where i’m dependent on him and i immediately showed him where i said never mind about it and we decided to just take a break for a week, i didn’t feel it was necessary but he did, we planned for 10 days but on the 3rd day he invited me to hang out with some friends and him and they cancelled so me and him just got dinner and he acted like nothing had happened.

we were fine until i moved to the town where he was going to college, i went about two weeks ahead of him and told him if he wanted to come up and spend the night he could and it spitballed into him being upset because he felt like i was pushing him to get away from his family (for months before this he had spoken outwardly about how excited he is to move out from his family) but had never said that as a reason why he didn’t want to come, it was usually that he had to finish packing or was planning on hanging out with someone before they go to school. after that i didn’t say anything until he got here about coming over, since then we’ve been fine other than some small hiccups. (instead of him saying he didn’t want to go one weekend for me to take him to dinner and he’d rather study, he used the excuse that his mom wouldn’t let him)

this past week he had gone back home for thanksgiving, the week before we didn’t really hang out much because i knew he had finals coming up and wanted to give him time to study, so he saw me at work before he left to go back home. during that week he was back at home i got hurt at work (nothing serious, just a box falling from a shelf and hitting me) and i told him about that once it had been handled and i had been treated, i had a small argument with my mom and started to tell him about it but stoped myself and didn’t tell him specifics.

he came back last night and when i got off we got dinner and afterwards he just said he wanted a break out of nowhere and said that he felt like he was stressing himself out over trying to make me happy but couldn’t give any legitimate examples and also with his finals coming up. he said that when i would tell him about stuff that went wrong he felt like i was trying to get him to fix them which i have told him numerous times that unless i ask for his help i am only solely telling him about my day and that is all, we agree on a break but i ask him to talk the next day about the specifics and he agrees. i get back to my apartment and see that he has turned his location on life360 off and so i sent him a screenshot with a ? and there was no response and all this morning there was nothing, so i called him a few times and still got no response. i knew he would be at the dining hall at this time so i told him if he didn’t respond in 30 minutes that i would come up there and we can talk that way, there was no response so i went to the dining hall and found him but he was on the phone with his parents, i sat there for an hour and he completely ignored me until he got up and i walked behind him and we walked outside and his mom was there and i ended up talking with her about everything.

she mentioned that she didn’t want him to do bad on his finals with “how much were paying for him to be here” and so now i’m not sure if he’s solely feeling pressure from me, and figured i’d be the easiest to put on a back burner or if his parents have convinced him to push me to the back (they are very religious and he has told me on multiple occasions how his mom does like me, but that sometimes she wishes that he was straight) and i’m also not sure if it’s a mix of everything on top of school. i’m not sure what to do, his mom said he wanted no contact until his finals were done (in two weeks) but i’m just not sure what happened, he said he didn’t want to talk to me because he didn’t want to make himself stress more about his finals.

i’m not sure if i should give him the cold shoulder when he comes back or welcome him, i really love him and i don’t want to lose him but at the same time i don’t feel like i deserve to be treated like this and i want him to know how this has made me feel and not just brush it off like i have in the past

So, I'm making this post because I've noticed that people tend to psychologize it when they fall for a straight guy or are sexually interested in a straight guy.

The psychological explanation is usually something like internalized homophobia, or that you are subconsciously seeking someone who is unavailable so that you don't have to deal with vulnerability.

But I favor a statistical explanation: as gay men, we are attracted to men. Over 90% or 95% of the men you meet will be straight. So if you go by the dice, there will be a large chance that the guy you find yourself attracted to will be straight. There is no particular reason why a gay man would only be attracted to gay men. We rely on physical cues to determine our attractions. When we see a man in front of us, we don't know if he is gay or straight, only that he is an attractive male. It is only later we find that he is straight or not.

So don't beat yourself up or try to rationalize your moments when you fall for a straight guy. It's just biology and probability. There isn't necessarily some deep seated reason for it, or something wrong with you. That's basically what I'm saying.

Trying to put the sexual orientation issue aside…

Totally upset with masseur finder in San Antonio. The therapist was from Florida /Brazil. He was very young. He asked for payment upfront. I was saturated with cold oil , he lured it directly on on my body without warming it in his hands. Than 45 mins into the massage he asked for another $50 to nut. The kid was cute must lacked any sensual skills. It was cold and unsatisfying . What a waste!

Is there a good way to come out to your parents and family (28m here)? I'm in the situation where outside my home I'm out to friends, colleagues, and I think to the general population but my family knows nothing (at least I think they don't). My family has been a huge part of my life and I am terrified of loosing them if I come out as gay. Some might be accepting but I know for sure some of those relationships will be dead and I am scared of loosing them. Part of me doesn't want tom come out to them but they keep pressuring me to start dating women and keep asking if I am dating anyone. I always have to deflect and skirt the issue. And it kills me that I am keeping a secret from them and not allowing myself to live my total and true life.

Thanks in advance for the help!

I’m from Canada and Im 21. I know there’s a lot of truck stops nearby but I have no idea where to find them or find people at them.

Okay, I need to know. Is it the taste/smell? Is it just the action itself, because the idea of it is sexy? It can't be "oh he has a really firm, nice ass" because that has nothing to do with the anus and actually eating it, rimming, etc. So what is it exactly? I've never once wanted to put my face anywhere near someone's anus (I know what comes out of there!!) but there are so many men--straight and gay--who love to eat ass. Lick it, stick their tongue in it, suck on it, fully eat it out. Is it literally just a poop fetish? Someone help me understand this please. To me it seems so nasty and disgusting that I can't understand why anyone would want to do it. But the guy I'm talking to really likes it and I really don't want to kiss him afterwards. Lmao

I've been questioning more and more recently about being bisexual (I still don't like writing that lol) and I was wondering both how you guys go about meeting people like is online better or in person at bars? (In AUS so bars are only 18+ not 21+) and if you ever had a stigma about this feeling if you went through it how did you overcome bc im not quite sure I really like men as much as I would a woman and feel like I need to try it at least once.

Sorry if its awkward to read if you need clarification or more info lmk in replies please

We originally made a compromise that’d we’d both be verse with one another. Long story short, right before 3 months hit, we broke it off.

He questioned whether or not he’d be willing to switch for however long the relationship lasted and we both agreed we couldn’t do it.

Romantically and emotionally, everything clicked, but sexually it did not. I feel so sad because my bf from this morning is now my ex. Any advice or tips will help.

Edit: should I try bottoming for him 90%/10% until he feels like bottoming himself? He’s checks every box and is such a sweet guy I don’t want to lose him like this

Hello,

I’m usually not the type of person to air out my shit on the internet but here it goes. I (24m) have been dating a guy for about 1.5 years now and our relationship is great except for one thing. The sex sucks. It was exciting in the beginning but now I find myself not being excited and not even being able to finish sometimes. I’ve tried spicing it up too (having us switch positions) but that hasn’t helped at all. I have a pretty high sex drive and his is average. I love him and want to continue to be with him but this has been eating heavily on my mind lately. I have no idea how to address this with him either and would like to know if anyone has had this convo with their significant other as well. Thanks Reddit dudes!

My partner really really wants to do anal and as I can't afford that much christmas gifts this year I feel like I have to oblige (already told him twice that's what he's getting for christmas). Receiving any butt stuff has been a hard no for me after a traumatic experience so I have no idea how to actually do it outside of watching porn, but porn is nothing like real life so I take it with a grain of salt. I love this man with my entire being, and if I'm going to do this with anyone it's going to be him. I'm just so scared, I really don't want to yet but I guess it's time. I'd do anything for him, so here I am asking strangers on the internet how to have gay butt sex.

1. What is the best way to prepare to be the cleanest I can be? Assuming we will be doing this at night, what should/shouldn't I eat? Any medicine/supplements to take? How long before sex should I be watching my intake? When should I start cleaning up? What do I actually do to clean up? Does the length of his dick indicate how deep I should clean?

2. How do I remain calm and grounded during preparation and sex? I have had PTSD attacks/flare ups during sex before and he is always so sweet, but I don't want that to happen this time. I want him to be able to enjoy what he's been waiting so long for. How do I get through it until he's done and not feel like shit afterwards? How do I enjoy it too, or at least fake the enjoyment so he doesn't worry or feel bad? Is it acceptable to use a vibe on myself so maybe it distracts me from what's going on? What is most likely to go down?

3. He's not big on foreplay. How do I get him to take it slow? How does foreplay with anal work in real life? He has a lot of experience topping different cis gay men but never a trans guy, how do I go with the flow and let him do whatever is supposed to happen without pain/blood/injury/poop/ptsd?

I feel so weird asking all this. Any help is appreciated. Thank you

What a nightmare! I'm freaking out at the thought that people who love me the most will start to absolutely hate me if I come out.

It's a horrible feeling!

I feel so suffocated and helpless. Can't explain it in words.

This distress is already taking a toll on my health. My sleep is highly disturbed. I've become irritable. My heart rate and blood pressure have also gotten higher.

The fact that I'll need to stay Down-Low for life, and take extreme precautions if I get into a relationship/have sex with a guy is just so mentally and emotionally taxing.

Any advice?

PS: Please be kind. No, I'm not a coward. I really am in an environment with extreme anti-gay sentiments.

Also, moving out to a different country won't be possible for at least a decade.

This is not homophobiia, I'm gay, this is a reall quote that is coming from my mind that two man together, that doesn't love women, that only love men, in a certain way are reinforcing patriarchy, these are intrusive thoughts that come into my mind, I really want to hear you guys say that it's not at all.

hi there. this is my first time using reddit so sorry if i do anything wrong. i just need a place to vent and ask for advice, because i can’t talk about it to any of my irls

i’m a fairly ugly guy. short, a bit on the bigger side with very strange fat distribution, vitiligo and my face is wonky. It’s something i’ve accepted over the past few years. I’m also a trans man. I’m worried that all of those things combined will severely limit any hope I have of finding love, at all. I hope i don’t sound like an incel writing this, I’m just terrified I’ll be alone for the rest of my life.

how do i deal with this fear? is it based in any reality or am i just being insecure?

I need some outside perspectives on a situation that’s been weighing on me. For context, I’ve been interacting with a guy for a while, and we recently met in person for the very first time. Before our meeting, we had shared some deeply meaningful conversations. He has openly told me that he struggles with internal conflicts, particularly surrounding his sexual orientation. He mentioned that he sometimes cries a lot because of it and feels a pressure on his chest, which makes me want to be even more supportive and understanding.( He comes from a religious family)

When we met, everything seemed great. Before I left, I told him I wouldn’t say goodbye the way I truly wanted because we were in public. To my surprise, he gave me a hug and then kissed me, and I could see happiness in his eyes. Later, he even texted me saying that, despite the kiss being brief, it was a “beautiful sensation.”

During our time together, he also mentioned in passing that “we don’t live that far apart,” which made me feel like he was considering the possibility of something deeper between us. I’ve always been consistent in showing him affection, and I’ve told him that I care about him. However, since that meeting, things have shifted drastically.

He became distant and cold in our conversations. At one point, I expressed my feelings, and he seemed to pull back even further, like my openness scared him. He has admitted to struggling with internal conflicts but hasn’t explained much beyond that. I noticed he often withdraws when things get too emotional or real.

Most recently, we were supposed to have a serious conversation last Sunday. He told me to wait for him to call, but he never reached out. He also didn’t let me know he wouldn’t be available, which left me feeling ignored and disrespected. Eventually, I heard back from him, but he was very cold and didn’t address why he didn’t call. He simply mentioned that he was struggling with some stuff in his life, but he didn’t go into detail. He apologized, but the apology felt very superficial, like he was avoiding discussing anything meaningful.

I’ve tried to be understanding, knowing his internal struggles, but his sudden coldness after everything we’ve shared feels so confusing and painful. Is he afraid of the connection? Is he testing me, or could he have lost interest entirely?

I’m torn between waiting for him to reach out, giving him space, confronting him about how his actions are affecting me or just ending everything already. I’d love to hear your thoughts on what could be causing this shift and how I should approach the situation.

i don't really have anyone to vent to and i don't have a therapist. does anyone feel the same way? sometimes i feel like a ticking time bomb. i feel so lonely as i get older everyone thinks im cold and im fine and i dont give a fuck but actually i'm the saddest ive ever been and nobody knows i just need a friend who understands a single person in 7 billion how hard can that be? is anyone else this lonely? everyone says they're lonely but i don't think their loneliness even scratches the surface am i being ignorant? am i being dramatic? i am such an alien nobody knows how much it eats away at me to not have any vision of my future everyone is building their life and i feel like im just doing what i can to get through mine to make it out alive sometimes i wish i was dead im not suicidal but i do wish i was dead sometimes sometimes i just want to fall asleep for years until everything has settled down and im not so emotionally volatile

Is it just me, or does a man moaning and telling you how good his cock feels while you suck him an incredible turn on? I sucked a man's dick yesterday and the way he told me how good he felt and what an incredible cocksucker I was, just made me feel very special and made me want to please him even more. Full disclosure: I'm still new at this, having come out just a couple of months ago, but sucking a cock comes very natural to me. I know what I like, so I give him that. I also fucked him after I rimmed his ass, and he was just as vocal. A good time was had by all. Can't wait to do it again!

I'm M20 and struggling to fit in. I have a lot of friends and a lovely supporting friend circle but deep down I struggle with loneliness.

"Hey everyone, I’m 19 and relatively new to the world of dating and sex. I’ve had a few experiences and am looking to explore more and push my boundaries responsibly. I already get tons of attention and messages on platforms like PlanetRomeo and other dating apps, but I want to approach this phase of my life thoughtfully. I’m not planning to make this a habit—I see this as a way to experiment a bit at this age, knowing it’s a rough time for self-discovery. My goal is to navigate this professionally and avoid regrets in the future.

Here are a few things I’d love advice on:

1. How can I stay safe and hygienic during sex, especially when it comes to penetration?

2. What are the best ways to make the experience more comfortable and enjoyable for myself ?

3. Tips for preparing my body and mind, since I’m still figuring things out.

4. Any insights on balancing exploration with emotional well-being and mental health?

I’d really appreciate hearing your tips, advice, or even personal experiences. I’m trying to figure things out.

I have always been gay, but never could admit it and grew up in a very conservative family that did not accept it. I lived the life expected of me. I married, have a wonderful family and I have been blessed. But all my life I’ve had periods of time masturbating, sucking and even being bred by men. I love cock and cum and men and the older I get the more I want a man. I crave it so bad. Should I just let this go and finish the life I committed too? I know it is wrong to cheat! I don’t want to hurt anyone in my family but sometimes my desire for cock is out of control. I appreciate you advice…