I’m 32 and have never been in a relationship. Last weekend I went on a first date and things went really well and we’re planning on seeing each other again this weekend. We both really like each other, and I know it’s too soon to be thinking about anything serious or official, but this is the most optimistic I’ve been about someone in a couple years. Last year I went on…maybe 3 dates…and so far this new person and I have clicked more than all of last year’s dates.

A new semester of grad school just started this week, and normally since I’ve always been single, I do see if there’s anyone in my classes I might be interested in. But I kinda had to remind myself that I’m kinda seeing someone in the minimal sense (again, I know nothing official or anything). Even if we were officially dating, I don’t think there’s any problem with noticing someone is attractive, but it got me wondering if there’s normally like an adjustment period where you find yourself checking people out and have to remind yourself that you’re no longer looking.

This is basically all new to me, so I’m not sure what I’m doing.

Thank you.

I had a hookup last week from Sniffies, that went very well (for both I think). I see the guy on the app again…is it creepy if I’m overly enthusiastic? Like, I don’t imagine he’s any wilting flower or anything, but I want to communicate my enthusiasm for seeing him again, without being a stalker. Any thoughts?

Did any other guys here grow up with a freckled face n still have them today in adulthood too ? Curious

Hey everyone, I wanted to provide an update on my situation since my last post : https://www.reddit.com/r/AskGayMen/comments/1i53czn/confused_about_where_i_30m_stand_with_a_guy_31m/

To recap : I had been seeing this guy since early November. Things started out great, he was affectionate, suggested outings, and genuinely made an effort to see me. But over time, he became distant. When I brought it up, he reassured me that he valued our connection but wasn’t ready for a romantic commitment due to his fear of attachment and heartbreak. He wanted to keep things open-ended and fluid, without labels, while still spending time together.

At first, I told myself I could go along with that as long as we were honest and he was single. But as the weeks passed, his presence in my life became more sporadic. He stopped initiating conversations, and I felt like I was the only one keeping things going. His reassurances started to feel hollow, especially when he seemed to have time for everything except responding to me.

I had no idea what was going on with him. He never told me about any major issues, just that he was "busy" or "tired". I didn’t want to pressure him, but his absence started to feel like emotional neglect. I kept overthinking, wondering if he had lost interest but didn’t want to say it outright. Eventually, I hit a breaking point, I felt like I was being ghosted in slow motion, and I couldn't take it anymore. I sent him a message saying this situation didn’t work for me and that I preferred to end things before getting hurt.

To my surprise, his response was full of sadness, he told me he was overwhelmed with personal and work-related stress, including his father undergoing a critical operation and a recent car accident. He admitted that he had been absent but that he still cared. That’s when I realized how unfair this situation was. He himself acknowledged that he was responsible for my reaction. He told me he understood why I had sent that message because he had left me in the dark. Yet, despite admitting this, he still acted as if I was the one who destroyed everything.

I tried to explain that my message wasn’t about punishing him or being needy, it was my way of protecting myself from what I genuinely believed was a slow fade. Had I known what he was going through, I never would have assumed he was losing interest. But how was I supposed to guess that? He never shared anything with me until it was too late. And somehow, I was the one paying the price for that lack of communication.

What also frustrated me is that, for him, being present didn’t mean texting or keeping a connection alive, it meant giving him space to deal with his problems. But how was I supposed to know that? For weeks, I was anxiously waiting for some sign of life from him, not realizing that, in his mind, my silence would have been the greatest proof of support.

I sent him a long, heartfelt message explaining how I had felt during his absence, how I misunderstood his silence, and how I still cared about him. But the damage was done, he told me that my message about ending things had deeply hurt him and that he didn't want to go through another emotional rollercoaster like that. He said there was no going back.

I tried to salvage things, to show him that I understood now, that I was ready to communicate better, and that I wanted to find a way to meet in the middle. But he had already made up his mind. He said that even though he accepted my apology, he needed to protect himself and didn’t want to risk going through the same thing again.

We ended the conversation on civil terms. I told him that I respected his decision, but that I would always think fondly of him. He reacted to my last message with a heart emoji, but he hasn’t reached out since.

Right now, I feel lost. Part of me wants to hold onto hope that, after some time, he might reconsider and we can rebuild something. Another part of me knows I need to let go and move on.

But what frustrates me most is that this feels so unfair. He admitted that his lack of communication led to my reaction, yet I am the one who gets blamed for ending things? I am the one who gets punished for reacting to the void he left me in? That doesn’t sit right with me.

For those of you who’ve been in similar situations, how do you navigate feelings of regret when you realize you misinterpreted things? And how do you accept that sometimes, no matter how much you care, you might not get another chance?

This morning invited a guy nearby on grindr to come over. Once he got her I realized we had no chemistry.

We sort of embraced and jerked each other for about 30 seconds.

Then we took of our clothes and moved to the couch. We sat up against each other jerking for about 3-5 minutes I'd say. He came I didn't. Noticed scabs on his arm. Googled scabies and it looked the same, I think.

About a minute later he put his clothes on and left.

What do I do? Is there a high chance I have scabies? What do I do with my couch?

When I had just discovered that I like guys, I actually was kinda happy, because I thought that all guys(like my classmates) love video games and other nerdy "boyish" activities like me. I struggled to understand why would you want to date someone who do not have same interests(i.e. girls). Ugh I was so wrong.

I have a clear torso pic in my grindr profile (which is also in my Reddit profile) and my first message is a clear face picture. I guess I’m fairly average looking but I get maybe 1 or 2 responses for every 50 people I message. Is that normal for y’all? If you’re hot, do you get more responses back?

Hey, I’m looking to see if there’s any brands to let other guys know you’re gay. Something similar to Nasty Pig.

I hope I"m posting in the right place, and I know I may get some sarcastic responses, but truly looking for some opinions. There's a local cruising place that I frequent, and a guy that I've hooked up with there multiple times. I know that cruising is meant to be anonymous by nature, but I am very attracted to this guy and when our paths cross we automatically go off to play together. We've had some light conversation and he's really cool to talk to also. Would it be totally fucked up for me to ask him if he wants to go out for a drink sometime? Has anyone here ever actually ended up dating someone they met while cruising?

What are they?

There's a pattern I've encountered a lot in dating and this latest one is a good example.

I met this guy for a date, we talk it's nice, I'm having a good time. I'm not blown away, buy him, I see differences but also don't see any dealbreakers.

So, to see where it goes, when he asks for another meeting, I say yes. We meet and it's basically the same pattern.

I'm not in a rush and open to seeing him again.

Buuut then he sends me a message and confesses how he met with someone else, and it felt wrong and that he had to think about me the entire time and while doesn't want to put any pressure, he's really looking forward to seeing me again.

And I feel pressure. Because, for me, nothing even remotely romantic has happend between us. I don't just mean physically. I also mean that the conversations didn't really feel that personal or intimate to me.

After we met for the third time and this pattern repeated I started a conversation with him, about what our expectations are, and that there seems to be a mismatch in that regard because I can't really reciprocate his feelings.

I HATE being in this situation so much. Because now, I don't feel comfortable making any physical moves anymore, without signalling something that is way more intense than anything I actually feel. Now I'd feel like I'm taking advantage of him if I kissed him, let alone slept with him. Because for me that's part of the process of finding out if I match with someone. But for guys like him it seems like an expression of how much they like someone.

Even in the moments where I was the "pursuer" who was really smitten with someone. I'd usually make plans, make moves, see where it goes. Even when I really like someone I like it if there's a little gap between meetings. And I also wait for them to arrange plans every other time.

But even when I tell these guys exactly where I'm at they usually respond to it with a kind of bargaining. They don't really take it as a rejection, nor do they give me space and put the ball in my corner, they usually try to tell me how it's not a problem for them, and that they would like to meet up more, and try to make more plans.

I really tried giving this dynamic a chance with my ex-boyfriend. I really did like him but I was certainly not ready to say "I love you" after just a month of dating.

Now, I've never been successful in romance.

I just can't tell if the way they experience these things is normal and I'm just emotionally stunted, afraid of intimacy or have avoidant tendencies.

Or if their behaviour is actually a bit much.

So I was invited by this twink to come over for a hookup on grindr. It was supposed to be me, him and another guy. When i got there it was 5 of them and they were all partaking. Not my vibe but whatever i thought i’d chill for a bit.

As soon as I got there the guy i was talking to wouldn’t even look at me and left me with his friends while he went in to another room. He comes back, starts scrolling on grindr looking for other guys and sits with his others friend and ignores me. Im talking to this other friend who is nice and making conversation. After 5/10 mins pass the twink comes and stands over me and says “you need to leave”. I was a bit confused because this is the first time he’s actually even addressing me. He looks at me deadpan and says it again. Like i get if you aren’t interested in me but you can say something along the lines of “i don’t think it’s a match” or “yeah i don’t think i’m actually interested in you”. I couldn’t believe how rude he was so i went off on him in front of his friends on how he should learn manners and he can go fuck himself. He wouldn’t even look at me in the eyes while i was yelling at me. Obviously i left after that.

But now i’m just thinking have we normalized this behaviour in hookup culture and was i overreacting? Or did i have the right to get angry. I feel like grindr has really altered my expectations of “normal” etiquette.

Hello :) my name is James, I am a French 20 year old trans and gay boy and I have always wanted to participate in a group sex 😶

So far I've done two threesomes and I really liked it haha, but doing something with 4/5/10/20 people... That would be a big fantasy 🫠

But I've never had the opportunity until now... I have the impression that you either have to go to backrooms that are a bit hardcore / not always super safe, or already have a network of gay friends and put them in touch to be able to participate in something like this :/

And not having such a network of sex friends (since I don't live in a big city, Grindr is a little empty :( ) and being a little afraid of going to BDSM backrooms, would there be another way to participate in orgies or gang bang?

Do you know if there are places where orgy organizers call for participation? Like Reddit, Discord, Twitter or Snap?

Or do you know safe people who organize this kind of thing and with whom you can chat and make friends before meeting for the event?

Or are there bars/structures that organize orgies on a regular basis, like a monthly or annual event?

Thank you very much for taking the time to read my post! ☺️

So yeah, im 30 now and I'm just getting into me and I have some questions I'd like answered please? I have a cage, a couple of plugs and other toys and any advice on anything at all But hopefully any advice on cages, plugs and shaving. Thanks in advance

Does it matter about cum load size? In a heavy cummer and cum more times than one and I've been told its a turn off, either because it's to much cum or too thick of loads.Is it a turn on for cum to be thick?

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Hello, I need some help-

I recently got out of a 3-year relationship with my ex-boyfriend. Last night, I tried getting back into intimacy again…and I failed. Horrribly. I was extremely aroused, and I felt comfortable, but I couldn’t for the life of me keep an erection. It was extremely embarrassing.

I’m curious to know if this has ever happened to anybody else, and if so how they got past it?

(18) I know it’s the internet and it is a vast place but should I be worried posting? I just see so many gay subreddits around w other guys doing it. It looks fun I wanna try but don’t want to be recognized. Has anyone had any negative experiences?

What’s the next toy you plan on buying?

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This is so random I know but surely this must have happened to someone else too??? The way the keys are kept dangling around the wrists….

One man I was with was very excited to top me and was being really rather rough with me. He was moving me around….His hand came down quickly close to my face and back and I realized the key around his wrist scraped and badly cut into my face…. I didn’t realize how bad it was until after we had enjoyed our time together

Freaking out cos now I have a big cut on my face and a red rash around where the cut is.

This must happen a lot as everyone has their locker key secured around their wrist?

I just wonder if perhaps the keys should be secured around everyone’s ankle rather than their wrists….

I hope this heals and isn’t permanent scar on my face. Freaking out right now as I didn’t realise how bad it was until someone asked what happened and now I’m back home I’m looking in mirror and freaking out

It doesn’t look like a cut it looks like a big red rash/ birthmark cos it’s like a graze or something all around where the key dragged across my face sharply and quickly up and down.

Anyone know how I can treat it to make sure it heals completely?

I had met some really nice men was a shame this happened… I had met a really kind gentleman gay man who was SO hot and SO tall (literally my dream man) and we got together and I really like him!!! I had to pinch myself as couldn’t believe he was topping me!! Then he also took my hand and walked me to his locker to ask for my number was so nice. I should have left then before another man was so rough to me and accidentally did this with his key! Ahhh

I wanna go out more with a guy I've been talking to but I'm all out of ideas on what to do for dates.

Any recommendations??

Bott

Regional, obscured, outdated, I wanna hear em all. I need to expand my vocabulary. and I'm bored.

I’m watching euphoria and this girl easily got a hookup. She’s so lucky. I want to experience what she has

Anybody else get extremely horny during a long drive alone and just start jerking it?

I love giving head and worshipping a dick but i want to up my game and worship a man and make him feel sexy all over.Not just cock worship but like his whole body. Any tips on how to provisor an awesome bj worship session?

(M20) I'm bisexual but I've never had experience with another man, I've always been curious about anal, being dominated and other things like that, but the problem is that I don't feel as much pleasure doing it with my fingers, that means it will be bad with the real thing ?

What would you change, if anything, about your first time? Was it everything you had hoped or no?