What’s ur plan?

What’s your plan?

How do I better explain to people that just because I’m sad about being rejected because I’m Asian doesn’t mean I’m insecure about my race?

I’m in a city with less Asians, not a problem, I’ve accepted that it’s harder for me and I still enjoy going to gay clubs and spaces to dance and have fun. I don’t get approached by guys or anything but it’s not an issue for me since I’m mostly there to drink and dance. Somehow, that’s always an issue with my friends, they tell me I’m unapproachable, I don’t smile enough, I’m not open, but they also refuse to admit that Asians often get rejected because of our race. Mind you I’m dancing in the middle of the dance floor alone or with a couple strangers but somehow they still call me reserved and shy.

I’ve been trying to vent to my close friends about how harder it is for me in the dating scene, but they just see that as being insecure about my race. I don’t see the correlation, I’m proud of being Asian, and I also know that I’m not going to have success dating in my city because of it.

Maybe it’s weird for me (m23) to have a crush on someone because I’m a very tamed person with my feelings. I don’t easily catch crushes but I somehow recently caught a crush on a guy working in my group project. I’m not sure if he’s gay or bi but as someone who never had an actual bf, I’m kinda over thinking this. He held the door for me when i walked in class (today we formally introduced each other). The other day, he was kinda lingering around me and I think he was staring at me the some other classes ago?

I’m probably overthinking this and my gaydar doesn’t work well lol. I should be realistic and not fantasize my BL dreams lol. Idk how to deal with crushes 😅 Oh I also said bye to him 3 times today lol

Hey guys,

Asking English speaking gay Asians here.

I find myself wondering if I would date a gay Asian who chooses to speak their native Asian language but does not speak English at a native level. Maybe they will have grammatical or vocabulary issues you can communicate at a basic level in English.

The thing is, I'm attracted to native born Asians who fluently speak their Asian language and don't want to stop them..

I don't feel like every gay Asian should have to learn English at a high / academic level in order to date me and I feel like I might be creating an uncessaery barrier to entry. I do feel like there are enough translation tools out there to prevent any communication barriers and maybe these days speaking English is not as valuable as it was in the past.

How do you guys feel? Do you guys think your gay Asian spouse needs to speak English at a native level? I do feel like I might be forcing them to change or westernize at an uncomfortable level.

Have you been in an relationship where a gay Asian partner chose to keep English profiency at a minimum and used translation tools? Did the relationship work or not?

Kyoto and Osaka Recommendations

Hi All - I (Gay male) have a work trip taking me to Kyoto for the first few weeks of February. I was curious if anyone had some recommendations beyond the usual big sights for in and around the area. Food, sites, shops, bathhouse, etc. I will have plenty of time after work and on the weekends, so I am looking to make a list of to do things.

Right now planning to visit Taipei/Kaoshiung and Seoul/Busan. I have been before but if anyone has any recs or plans to be there lmk!

恭喜發財紅包拿來, 我高師哥在那理在兒？

is grindr the best app to use for hk & bkk? also any tips & recs for bathhouses?

Anyone has any experience or recommendation?

39M, of Chinese descent living in the West. I get that I’m an ancient dinosaur to the young uns, at best maybe a daddy but still old AF, and that’s fine. However, virtually every single person a generation or two ahead of me would scoff at the notion when I refer to myself as “old” and remind me that I’m a young buck with my full life ahead of me, which is very kind and I appreciate. Except for my parents, who take every opportunity to remind me that I’m “going on 40” since I turned 30 and started to refer to me as a “40-something” in my mid 30s. When I confront them they just say it’s close enough to true and that I’m being too sensitive and I’m just trying to hold on to my slipping youth. This feels like gaslighting because I don’t actually feel insecure about aging and I hardly think about it, and if there’s one thing about myself I don’t have a complex about it’s my aging. TBH my 30s sucked and I can’t wait for it to be over, but I feel that shouldn’t mean I must be okay with being called a 40-something before I am, especially as a context for criticism toward me or a justification for indifference toward my struggles, and I feel they’re starting to make me feel insecure. Is this a cultural thing, or are they just like this? I don’t ever say anything to make them feel old, not on purpose anyway, and I don’t go out of my way to mention they’re literally senior citizens. I wonder if it had anything to do with how much I had to resist them treating me like a baby in my 20s, especially my mom (who would call up my workplace if I missed her phone calls), and them resenting me for it.