Because if she does suspect I’m gay. I think I’ll come out to her. I’m a gay male 31. And I have a close friend over the internet. She’s around my age and she is also homosexual. I’ve been in the closet my whole life and I’ve been seriously considering coming out to her lately. But I’m afraid and. Well. If she doesn’t suspect it I don’t want to do it. I have a feeling she’s got a pretty good grasp on things but idk.

I’ve always played it off as straight and women are still beautiful so I’ve always kind of vibed with her, sharing pictures of girls.

However accidentally some allegations were made once that I was gay cause I sent a message in two parts 😅 (it basically was responding to me asking her if she ever slept with men. And I said I know I have. I haven’t though haha.) Anyways. We still kinda make jokes about it and we always have fun hanging out on discord.

Now this is all kind of going to be scattered timeline wise but… She’s always the caring type and picks me up when I’m down. And I’ve expressed to her I feel bad dropping my day on her. She’s told me that it’s always okay to talk to her about anything which kind of gave me a clue.

I definitely got a little obvious at times. I’ve asked her if she’d be surprised if I came out (jokingly sorta) and she said yes. She has reassured me time and time again she thinks I’m straight as I joke around with her being suspicious that I’m gay here and there. To be honest I’ve always had the feeling she was being nice and protecting my closeted identity. However ironically enough I’m dying for her to call me out. I just can’t seem to do it otherwise. It’s been hard to tell. I mean everyone I know irl believes I’m straight all this time.

Whole point to this. Do you guys think she’s aware that I’m Gay?

There’s definitely a lot more conversations that have gone on so if you want more context I can get it likely 😅

I might be the only one who has this problem, but I'd appreciate some advice, even if it sounds silly. So I'm a 16-year-old girl, and I have always known I'm bisexual. I have a twin brother who's a typical teenage boy. He makes mysoginistic, transphobic, and homophobic jokes— brainrot is all he knows. This is why I was surprised when he awkwardly told me he was gay a while ago. We didn't have a much of conversation about it, so to speak, he just mentionned it and I literally replied with "Good for you". Although he was the last person in my life I expected to be queer, I of course don't have an issue with his sexuality. The issue is how our parents would react if we both came out. My parents aren't horribly homophobic, but they are judgmental, so they might think my brother and I are "following a trend" or "copying eachother" — I don't know. Talking to my brother about it would also require me coming out. Any advice?

I M16 have been in the most titanium closet ever. I would never reveal a hint of femininity because I had a lot of self homophobia.

when I was in middle school my mom made an instagram account for me which means she has access to my account.

Later in my first year of high school was when I fully found out what drag was so I followed a bunch of drag queens. My mom had scrolled on my instagram and saw all the drag queens and told me that if some of my friends saw that i follow them they could drop me or treat me different but I denied and said it was a hacker. She somehow believed that was true and we never brought it up.

Earlier this year I had been liking a bunch of pictures with like naked men. She for some reason was going through my likes and saw that so while I was just playing video games in my basement she came down and told me that I should not be liking things like that because of digiral footprints. She said that she supports me no matter what I am but she never told me I was gay and I never said it but she knows.

This didn't affect me as much as I thought it would be and it really made me feel easy.

So I'm 15 female and trans and homosexual. I haven't come out to my family yet because my family does NOT support LGBTQ+ they HATE them and complain anytime a show with LGBTQ+'s comes on and changes the channel. My mom knows and said I'm not and she banned me from talking about it. I have no one to talk to because no one supports me. And I felt guilty like I didn't belong in the world because of the lack of support, I wanted to scream and tell them that they were horrible and run away. My family are Jehovah's witnesses and I don't want to be. I'm staying with my aunt and uncle next weekend and want to tell them but they are also Jehovah's witnesses and i'm scared. But they have always been there for me and supported me when I told them about my Suicidal thoughts. At this point I feel stupid. Should I tell my aunt and uncle or keep it a secret and keep posting on reddit about it???

Hi, so I’m 21m and currently living with my sister in another state because I’m studying for my graduate school test. I would like to come out to her but don’t really know what to say or how to go about it. I don’t really want to put a label on it. I like girls and guys but definitely guys more. The reason I want to tell her is because I don’t see her much anymore and I feel like we’ve really bonded while I’ve stayed with her. I was recently in a really traumatic relationship with a guy who outed me to all my friends, classmates, and roommates after I broke up with him, my fault for dating someone out. Still was a traumatizing experience but now that it’s out I would like at least someone in my family to know. I really don’t know how excepting my parents and other siblings would be. They’ve said negative things about gay people before but never anything crazy. My worse fear is that I tell my sister and she treats me different or is so uncomfortable that staying with her gets awkward. That’s the anxiety talking but I just would like some advice on the bullet points that I should hit or do.

Hey all I’m just posting here to get some advice. Basically I’ve been wanting to tell my mom that I’m bisexual but I can’t seem to find the courage. I recently met a guy who I like a lot. He’s very sweet and has been trying to support me in coming out. I feel terrible that I’m essentially treating him as some dirty secret that I have to hide. I want to be able to enjoy my relationship with him without the stress of feeling like I have to live some kind of double life. I could really just use some advice or words of encouragement. My mom is a good woman but she is also extremely religious. I’m just afraid she won’t ever look at or treat me the same if I tell her..

So I’m a 17 year old guy who is the son of two somewhat religious immigrant parents. I’m pretty sure I’m bi, and right now things are going good. Me and my family both now know for sure that I’m going to college and that it won’t be too expensive, and we are all thrilled over this. Theoretically, it would be a good time to come out right now.

However, my parents aren’t very accepting of queer people. To be fair, they used to be a lot worse about it. We used to have lots of fights about it because my dad’s been speculating that I’m queer for the longest time, but every time we’d fight about it I’d decline that I was. Recently, my mom told me that she told my father a while ago that she wouldn’t shun me out just because of my queerness after one of my fights. I assume she thought it wasn’t that relevant of a thing to tell me now, because as far as I know they’re under the impression I’m straight. My mom’s still religious, but my dad has been coming out of that religiousness a little bit more, but is still at the end of the day spiritual. With college season going on for the past year, he’s made it clear that he’s extremely proud of me and loves me very much. But like I said, he used to be very homophobic and just half a year ago he said that coming out as trans, even though I’m not, would be his biggest disappointment ever and that he would have failed as a parent (the context is a long story…). Besides, I know how laying on the news of your queerness can lead to reactions that you might’ve thought were completely out of character, just because they’re coming from a place of anger. So at the end of the day, I really can’t tell how they’d react, but I’m pretty sure for other reasons that no matter what my parents would still pay for my tuition and wouldn’t kick me out.

So my dilemma arises: Of course, I don’t technically need to come out ever! But if I were to come out, I’m trying to decide if doing so now would be fine, or if it would be better to do it while I’m in college.

If I’m in college, the plan would be to come out like right after my dad has paid my monthly college payment during a school break, that way he has no way of going back on that for another month while he processes. This would also be good since I’d be leaving a few days later, for example if I did it during winter break, and it’d be easier for my parent’s to process with me at school instead of having to see me every day and act like nothing’s different. Not having to see them and be in the awkwardness until they’re done processing would also be MUCH better for my mental health. Then, I’d slowly start contacting my parents again a couple of weeks later until we’re at least a little bit more comfortable with each other again, that way I can also remind them comfortably that the next college payment is due soon. Giving them at least until my winter break would also give them more time to grow and become even more accepting. Who knows, maybe even them being away from me for a few months would make them more accepting yet. And slowly, we’d just kind of get over it, I’d hope.

The other option is that I come out to them now. Like I’m talking in the next month. So like I said it might not be that bad of an idea because right now my parents are at like peak proudness of me, what with graduating high school and also now officially going to college without having to kill their wallets. Unfortunately, it would probably soil the first half of my summer vacation, if not the whole thing and possibly make things awkward before going to college. And also like I said, they’ve been getting better about being open-minded, but they’re still growing. They have a lot of work to do still, so coming out now would warrant an unpredictable reaction. Best case scenario though, it’s only awkward for a bit and we’re mostly back to normal by the time I go to college. Then, I can also date normally in college and not have to tell any guy I get with “oh btw I’m not technically out to my parents yet.” The awkwardness during the summer though would be unbearable. There’s a lot we need to do and discuss together over the summer, like shopping for my dorm, getting my driver’s license and debit card, my birthday, college orientation, as well as orthodontist, dermatologist, and optometrist appointments. I feel like coming out would at the very least make all of that grueling, if not impossible.

So what do you guys think???

I’m not really great at posting or talking about things but I kind of don’t really know where to find the best feedback something like this so I figured I would try my luck here.

A couple of weeks ago, I met up with someone who was an older gay man and we were talking and as the night went on we talked about our coming out stories. He told me his story and his experience and then it was my turn. For some years now, whenever it would come up I would just say that I knew I was gay when I was teenager and just came out when I was 19 to my mom while I was in college. This person asked if there was a reason. I tried to remember back to if there was one (I’m 29 now, so this was all almost 10 years ago) and then I started to remember why I came out in the first place.

I had just gotten off work that day and it was awful. My roommate was 21 at the time and before I left for work I left some money for him to buy me a handle of Jäger and after I got home I knocked back the handle in under an hour or so. After a couple of hours my roommate came home and said some of his friends were coming by to watch the game and asked if I wanted to join them. My roommate and his friends were all straight and I thought we all got along well so I was excited. His friends came over and we were having a good time until the one of my roommates friends showed up that I didn’t like. I went about my night and didn’t let it bother me. I was having fun and kept drinking and surprisingly didn’t black out. As the evening went on, my roommate and his friends were going to the bars. I couldn’t go since I didn’t have a fake and I needed to sleep it off.

A few minutes go by, and I get a text from my roommate saying his friend (the one I didn’t care for) had to come back up and get his wallet. He came alone and I let him into the apartment. I tear the apartment apart looking for his wallet and said to him it’s not here. I turn around and he’s sitting down in a chair not looking for his wallet. I asked him “what are you doing”. He said I know you’re gay. From there it erupted to us shouting at each other and I said he had no right to do this. I wanted him out but he wouldn’t leave. I hit him and hit him. He grabbed my arm and said don’t do that again. I hit him with my free hand. Then he grabbed me and we rolled around on the floor hitting each other. I screamed for help and no one came. He got up a couple of minutes later said something and left.

He came around a couple of more times after that but I haven’t seen this person in a long time. I hadn’t thought about this in a long time and I don’t know why I’m starting to remember all of it. It was after that event, I figured since I lived in such a small town people are going to know if they didn’t already and that made me come out to my mom.

Is this normal? How do I process this?

I started socially transitioning around new years, been on HRT for about 6 weeks, everyone in my life knows but my parents (and close family). This has been easy to accomplish since I'm 32 and live in the midwest and they live on the West Coast. The reason I waited so long is both for my dad and myself. My dad has a history of assuming I'm doing things just for the attention (and there's basis for that, I was a very attention hungry teenager) and perhaps the most disheartening thing is when people don't take me seriously, and I really want to avoid that. The second is my dad has a lot of unaddressed anxiety, particularly about me. I know he's going to wake up thinking am I rushing into this, am I going to regret it, is it going to affect my career, is it going to make my life more difficult, is my mental health going to hold up etc etc.

What I've been doing to mitigate these factors is I made a second facebook. I've been using it regularly posting pictures discussing my progress, and that way I can show my dad that it's not flash in the pan I've been doing it for almost half a year, I have friends and support, I'm out living my best life, I have a job I love and I even just got accepted back into school able to transfer my credits with a $3k scholarship. I feel like these are going to ease some of the panic for him. I'm doing it via video because I want to give him time to process because I know he'll freak out in the moment and I don't want to put him on the spot where he might say something he'd later feel bad about. I'm sure with a minute to process and collect himself he's going to be supportive, if shocked.

Anyway, the main thing I'm bumping on is what are the key points I should address in the initial video. Should I keep it short and sweet and let them ask me questions when they call, or should I give an initial FAQ? What would that entail? The above info, a breakdown of my medical treatment, my planned name change, my planned education path change.... idk what is or isn't too much. Anyone have any thoughts or experiences to share?

Hiho :)

I am in art school and currently working on a project, where I am making a game concept for a point and click game. In this game you are playing a character at your house at a family gathering. You can talk with every family member and can decide to come out to them or not. Now I need some inspiration for different reactions. If you want to share, feel free to citate some reactions you got from people, when you came out. For example: „you are you, don‘t let anybody change you.“ Thanks to everyone who shares their story!

this year i decided to come out to my former elementary teachers. i've been in contact with them for years since i graduated. they'll be the first adult i come out to. i just wrote a short letter in case i don't have a gut to say it in person. and i'm ducking crying rn. it's more scary since i'm panromantic aro ace and i absolutely do not want to explain my identity. i just don't. i'm planning to just say i'm bi tho i don't feel much romantic attraction. happens that there are quite a few people who are just like me!

to me the best outcome would be my teacher happening to be queer just like me. and worst... idk hearing some maybe you haven't met the right person yet bullshit. getting kicked out feels better than hearing that.

i always thought it wouldn't be too hard. that i'd maintain a calm attitude. well i was wrong😂 i hope this goes well! cheers to any queers who are or are not planning to come out!

ciao sono un amico di Aurelio volevo chiederti una cosa per il lavoro di domani per il lavoro e se puoi fare una video call per favore per il mio studio grazie ciao a dopo ciao buona serata e aurelio è gay

My coming out story

The day that I came out to my sister was funny. I told her I was gay and she just laughed and said she has known since y was a little kid. The thing about that conversation is that she kept commenting that she didn’t wanted me to hide who I was, she wanted me to be happy and be freely with who I was which I thank and said that I love her. The funny thing came the day after. It was a Saturday night so she went drinking with friends. So, she got pretty drunk and at night she entered my room, wake me up and started saying in a very loud voice the same things “I just want you to be happy, nobody should hide who they are and I love you, please be happy” and shit like that. But then in the next morning something weird happened. For context, my dad isn’t actually a liberal, so he has strong opinions about everything and he is particularly restrained about the lgbtq+ community. But in the morning when I was already up he came to my room. He sat in my bed. And then, he told me that there was nothing I could be or do that could stop him from loving me. I honestly thought that he heard something my sister said in the night, and that was the reason why of his comments. TURNS OUT that while my parents picked up my sister from her party she blurted out that they better accept me. She had them under threat telling them that my sexuality didn’t matter and that they better love me when I came out to them. Basically she outed me in the most loving way posible. I still think with great affection and love how in her drunken state the only thing she could think of was my happiness and my parents accepting me.

Well… I came out as a trans girl to my mom today, it went okay-ish. She’s not really happy about it, but it could have gone worse. The only thing that’s interesting, and hurtful was that she basically accused me of being trans „to fit in better with people“, and that „You’re only „trans“ because you hadn’t had a relationship before and didn’t experience the love two humans could feel. And if you felt that, then you wouldn’t be trans, because then you would actually feel wanted as a boy“

Oh and I outed myself as a lesbian too and she basically said that lesbians don’t have real sex 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

So for a long time now, like 3 or 4 years, I’ve described myself as nonbinary. But, that was only because I don’t fit into either gender, but I definitely am both in some capacity, more one than another at times. I didn’t really know what to call myself, so I’ve been going through life as nonbinary for a while since I came out. I’ve been hit with a ton of genderfluid content recently through TikTok, instagram, twitter, everything. Literally everything. And every video I watched about ‘things that genderfluid people do,’ or ‘pov: your genderfluid partner switches during a conversation,’ etc etc, I was like oh that’s so relatable! I do that too. Then someone (I can’t find the video anymore) breaks down some very common factors that genderfluid people tend to share amongst themselves in how they act, how they dress, etc. The one that really stood out to me was ‘genderfluid people tend to have times where they VERY much enjoy wearing dresses to events, but then they have times where they hate everything about a dress and would rather wear a suit, and they struggle to understand why they feel like that when the dress they wore yesterday was perfect. This is more often seen in people who haven’t realized their gender identity.’ I have done that exact scenario time and time again, loving dresses and skirts so much, and then literally hating them so much because they don’t look right on me and pulling out a pair of jeans. Struggling to look right when I wear a tight fitting shirt with the size of chest I have, and hating that I can’t just take them off. I mean about my breasts, if that wasn’t clear. Hating makeup and then wanting to do a cute little winged eyeliner in the exact same breath. Like. It’s weird. I finally know what I am. Thank you internet.

I told my dad, and once he understood what I meant by this, he started pointing out times when he noticed the switch between masc and femme. He doesn’t totally get it, but he’s got the right spirit. ❤️

This is also an update from this post

So, I started with small talk. I asked him if he wants a grandchild because my mother said that he really wants it. I said "dad, I'm not into girls" he said"okay, and then?" I replied "dad, I think you know where this is going... I'm gay". He said "oowh really? You don't look like a gay person though, well, it's a nice thing that you know yourself and be honest to us", I'm surprised that he took it and accepted it easily. I also said that I like girls clothes and I want to wear it which he replied "if you find it comfortable, just wear it you know, don't be closed about it". So everything is fine.

Well, we got into conversation about how did my mother reacted and he said he's gonna talk to her and make things better for my relation to her.

He was really supportive and accepted me, he even asking me that I should come out to his side of family even to his parents, which is enormous but he said that they are open about those kind of thing and they don't hate LGBTQ+ people.

It's a good ending.

Thank you for you all that have shared your experiences and advices. It was really helpful to me.

So I've been confused for the last couple of days but I think Demisexual really fits me. I don't really like like people a lot and when I do it's usually a friend. So anyway I snapped my best friend and said "I think I'm Demisexual" he responded with "Be who you are my best friend, Ill support you ✊️" ligit, great friend. Not really anyone else who I really care to tell

So this is also an update from this post

So I started it with some small talk, I asked her if she wants a grandchild, she expected that I have a girlfriend and I said "no, I'm not interested in girls mom". I said that I fall in love with a boy, she rejected it but in good and calm way. She said that it's a sin if you married to same sex, then we had a little argue about that. She was asking what gift for birthday do I want, I asked a female clothes and she rejected it also.

The thing that hurt me is that she said "you should be a real man, you should do a normal thing" She is really religious, heteronormative, gender binary and gender normative. "It's either you marry to a woman or nobody but not to a man". She said "if you do that anyway, I will not see you as my son anymore and I will go back to my country" which hurt me like crazy.

She said it in calm and friendly way, even though she is homophobic, she doesn't hate me, she even accepted me that I'm gay. I asked her what makes her happy and she answered "what makes me happy is what makes you happy" which is really the opposite of what she have said.

I'm actually disappointed of her that I'm not allowed to have a boyfriend and be a femboy but the good side is that she still accepted me to the fact that I'm gay.

It's an unexpected ending.

Do you have any advices on how to tell her that I'm going to be happy if I can have a boyfriend and be a femboy?

I need help. I've come out and have been out to everyone for 3 years now. But the only person in my life that doesn't know is my mom. I've been in a relationship with someone for a year and I don't how to get on the topic with her. In the past I know she's homophobic, but recently she told me sister, "If you're a lesbian, tell me and I'll accept you." I go to college soon with him and want to be completely honest with her. How do I get on the topic of gay people and being gay without indirectly saying anything until l'm ready? I wanna know how she feels before I say anything.

I thought my dad loved me. I thought he was proud of me, I thought that if I proved myself enough or accomplished enough he would accept me as bi. Instead he called me a faggot, told me that I’m no son of his, spat on me, threatened to beat the hell out of me, threatened to leave the house and called me a whore. And the worst part is that I can’t bring myself to hate him. I still deeply respect him, and love him. I am baffled as how somebody can go from saying they’re proud of me and love me, to calling me a faggot and saying that I’m gonna shove dicks up my ass.

I thought he loved me. Our relationship was great before today. He was my idol. Why did he go from acting like a father to a bully in an instant. He doesn’t even want to look at me no more.

EDIT: HE FUCKING CAME AROUND AND APOLOGISED TO ME AND WE HUGGED MAN WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 🥳🥳🥳

so i (20F) recently had an awakening and came out at the same time and it’s been so traumatic. to add context i was homeschooled and very sheltered as a child and have quite a bit of religious trauma so the comphet was real. the treatment that i get out in public is awful people make subtle remarks in public and sniff at me, idk if im being paranoid but it feels real to me, my now ex best friend who i came out to her family now knows and has not been accepting of me and they were like a second family to me. i feel like some of my family knows as well and i feel like im walking on eggshells all the time. i’ve started using substances to cope and my mom found out took my car keys so i have nowhere to go and i feel hopeless and alone. just venting.

Hello! So I am ftm and 19 and o’ m wanting to come out to my dad but I’m not sure how it will go. I’m gonna have to either text or call him, I’m thinking probably text bc I know I’ll shut down (I have autism and sometimes explaining things verbally makes me panic). I’m just not sure exactly what to say exactly? Truthfully I’m not sure if he’ll be accepting or not he is pretty conservative but I don’t live with him and even if he wanted to retaliate he doesn’t know where my mom and I live so that’s not a concern.

Update: well I had messaged him and we had talked it went good. He’s accepting and I told him that I’m going on t after my blood test comes back. He was a little nervous about me having any surgery but I assured him that I will do plenty of research before I consider surgery and what surgeon I’d be trying to go to.

How do I come out to my parents after bien married to a man? They are the old school Hispanic parents that think a man is a provider for a woman and that’s it. Now I’m getting a divorced and have a girlfriend that wants to marry me how do I tell my parents! I’m so scared

Hey, I'm a student at The University of Denver and am in the process of writing an autoethnography. If you identify as LGBTQ+ and are 18+, it would really help me out if you filled it out!

It's super quick and easy and shouldn't take more than 5-10 minutes. Thank you in advance!

click for survey

Hello I’m a 14 year old girl, and I identify with the label queer! I haven’t put myself under any other specific labels becuase I’m still growing and experiencing things. I probably could fit under bisexual but I don’t feel as comfertuble with it as the label queer. I want to come out.. I have been questioning for probably 3 years now. I am getting sick and tired of it and I just want people to know.. I feel more depressed by the day keeping a part of myself secret. The thing is I have no idea if my mother or father would support me. I like keeping my sexuality as queer and I’m honestly probably gender-fluid,pangender, or demigirl. The thing is my mom listens to pride radio with me becuase we like fun dance music and sometimes in between songs there is regular radio people talking. She often tells me to switch stations but I don’t think it’s homophobia. Another thing is she is much more accepting of male gay relationships than gay women relationships.. She also keeps mentioning that I will have a child and be married to a man. Sure I like men but it just makes me very uncomfortable becuase what if I want to be with a woman and have no child? I’ve only had dreams of being in a loving women relationship and that’s honestly what I want! Also I’m not lesbian. And my dad thinks trans people are weird and sometimes makes jokes about it. And my mom cursed at me when I said I wanted shorter hair. To be honest my mom doesn’t really hear me out and just yells at me never reply’s calminly and sometimes it scares me she talks bad about my dad sometimes too.. I know my at home relationship with my parents is really good compared to others. It just hurts sometimes idk. Also any other people who came out as just the label queer? I would possibly like to hear your experiences thank you.

When I was 13 years old, I came out as bisexual to my youngest sister. That period of my life was filled with constant confusion and fear. However, it was during this time that I discovered my bisexuality, realizing that I was attracted to both men and women. When I eventually shared this with my parents, their response was disheartening. They dismissed it as a phase, telling me it was just an excuse and that I would eventually "get over it." This was an incredibly daunting moment for me, and the thought of sharing this now fills me with a great deal of stress.

Over the past few years, particularly after my experiences with men, I've come to the realization that I struggle to connect with them. The constant feeling of nausea after interacting with a man and being in their presence was a clear indication. Throughout my experiences, I've always questioned my sexuality. In recent months, I've come to understand that I was living in a state of comphet, denying my true sexuality due to societal expectations. The fear of believing that liking women is wrong has always been lurking in the back of my mind.

As I matured, I gradually began to realize that it's perfectly acceptable for me to be attracted to women. After countless nights spent searching the internet for "am I a lesbian" quizzes, I believe I have finally come to terms with it. I am immensely grateful for my best friend, who has stood by my side through thick and thin. They have made me feel accepted for who I truly am, and I am proud to fully embrace my identity as a lesbian. Renee Raps' scene in "The Sex Lives of College Girls" truly resonated with me and helped me become more comfortable with acknowledging my sexuality.

I've found solace in the company of girls, keeping my relationships with them hidden from my family. Their presence makes me feel safer and more at ease. However, I admit I'm apprehensive about disclosing this truth to my parents, especially given past events. It's perplexing to me how my mom can support my gay best friend, yet dismiss my bisexuality as merely a phase. Despite my efforts to subtly hint at my true identity as a lesbian, my mom persists in envisioning a future where I end up with a man. It's somewhat frustrating how my parents always inquire about my potential boyfriends, to which I jokingly respond with a dismissive "you're funny."

Anyway, I find myself in need of someone to confide in, and I would greatly appreciate any advice or support.

Hi! Sorry I know the title is very broad I wasn’t sure how to phrase what I’m asking in short form. I recently made an alt account to discuss some things and thought I would ask a question here while I’m at it!

Anyway, I’m 18 and a boy and sometimes have thoughts abt other men. I prefer women and have only ever dated women. I avoid anything sexual cause it makes me kind of uncomfortable but that is with anyone, not just girls. Basically I feel very guilty about these thoughts because sometimes I’ll have them about friends I am close with. I’m not sure if this is the right place to ask this and I honestly am not trying to cause any conflict by asking this but; can I get rid of these thoughts? They make me feel uncomfortable and guilty so I would much rather just not feel this way but its very distracting.

Thanks, and if this is not the right place to ask this just let me know. I totally understand and will l take my post down, i just didn’t know where else to ask as I can’t do it in person! ❤️

So I’m a 19f lesbian from Deep South and raised in Catholic school until college. I always knew I wasn’t straight. When I was little (before same sex marriage was legalized), I would tell everyone I was moving to a place where it was legalized because I wanted to marry my best friend since boys were icky lol. Despite this, I somehow didn’t start to accept myself until this past year. I had even confessed to being gay in religious confession where I then was told to pray my sin of being gay away. Up until this point, I never dated or had what I thought crushes were on anyone (now realizing I definitely had crushes on some very emotional friendships).

My mom and I have had various conversations over the past 7 years where she would ask me point blank if I was gay and I was panic and do a whole hypothetical rant closer to the truth each time until I could figure out her beliefs. My parents are both boomers so I didn’t know what would happen. My dad is more progressive in some areas than my mom, so I wasn’t as worried about him.

But, I ended up getting hinge and had my first situationship ( relationship ever with) a girl in college. Things ended after a month, but in this time I felt so happy. I felt that I was in a place in my life where I could start to accept love. Experiencing cuddles with someone (non parental) was so fulfilling. I had always felt so touch repellent with any of my friends, but I actually wanted it for once in my life.With this being my first relationship, I ended up officially coming out to both my parents through a phone call. My dad was supportive to the best of his understanding but my mom was silent. I told myself that I would tell them if I ever got into a relationship of sort. While I don’t think I have the best relationship with my parents, they are basically all I have left after years of growing up as a caregiver with sick family members and parents.

Here is where the current situation starts. I have arrived some from college and actually have to deal with coming out. But, my parents have told me that they don’t think it’s fair for me to not try guys with casual dating. I want to understand where they are coming from but all of their explanations of dating feel so outdated and confusing to me as someone with the dating knowledge equivalent of an elementary schooler in college calculus. These talks just lead me to tears of frustrations as I feel like I am being shoved further back into the closet each time. My parents say they are ok with people to live their lives however they want but they think that I need to give boys a chance because dating isn’t based on physical attraction. But, I feel that would be cruel to lead someone on when I know in my heart that I will never be attracted to them. My mom also says I purposely make myself ugly ( I have big glasses, don’t wear makeup, and rather dress in “military looking cargo pants”) which she says is apart of the problems of me not giving men a chance.

Since I do not feel a pull to people with physical attraction, is it wrong for me to not try date all genders since I honestly have so little dating experience. I just feel so overwhelmed as my friends are still in school and I am surrounded by people who are very traditional in upbringing. I really need the advice of supportive lgbtq individuals because I feel so hurt and alone. (Also my parents don’t want me coming out to any family friends as I am still growing and my opinions now will change in their opinion. I think it’s because they are afraid of the response from our small southern town where I have been raised to be my moms pride with a decent presence in the local community)

Any words would be greatly appreciated.