/r/LGBTindia
A safe space for discussions regarding queer issues and sharing memes for LGBTQIA+ Community in India 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇮🇳
The community of gay, lesbian, bisexuals, transgender and queer folk of India.
It doesn't matter whether you're straight or gay or any of the shades in between. Do pop in and enjoy your stay!
Related subreddits
AroAceIndia (for aromantic/asexual folks)
GayDesiSFW (post your SFW selfies)
NSFW subreddits
Resources
/r/LGBTindia
TLDR : I have a friend whom I met on a daring app. We had intention to date. But after kissing once they were very sure it won’t work out and decided not to continue. I think i still have feelings for them. Tell me what to do!!!??
So more than a year ago I met this person on a dating app. When we started talking we both had seeing each other casually in mind. However, when we met we had really good time. We had similar views on things, it was easy to spend time with each other. We kept in touch after a couple of dates and started meeting often a few months back. I really liked them. However, since there was no move from them, me being a shy person didn’t make a move.
However, we were hanging out at their place once. And there was this moment where there was a lot of sexual tension between us. But yeah. Nothing happened. Couple of days later during some conversations i asked them why have they friend zoned me. They said they haven’t and waiting for me to make a move and thought i wasn’t interested. Our friendship was more important to me. So i told them the same. So we talked about it and we decided to make a move next time we meet.
We met at my place next time. And I kinda felt a bit of pressure because i thought i would have yo kiss them first. Well it wasn’t a great kiss. I am usually good at kissing.
So anyway, fast forward they didnt talk to me properly for a couple of days and then said that they didnt feel anything when we kissed and they dont think it would workout. I said okay.
We have been hanging out alot these days and as usual we have alot of fun, meaningful conversations. We understand each other. Etc etc.
There are alot of times i feel i will reach out and kiss them. And I am afraid if i do that out of passion or something even after they told they are not interested, i will loose our friendship.
I also feel that urge is getting stronger. Its like thats the only way left to express the love and affection i feel towards them.
So what should I do? should I share this with them? Or should I just stay away for a while? Or just keep quiet?
Help 🥺
Dd
Anyone out here who is in a happy lavender marriage here?
I mean it would be great to have someone around to take care of you and be a support system.
So wanted to know if anyone here who is/ was in a lavender marriage?
Considering the kind of people I meet, I doubt if I’ll ever be committed
23M been fairly repressed most of my life. I present masc, enough to pass as straight, but i’ve always hated the way i’m perceived and I don’t think it really aligns with how i feel. how do i slowly and subtly start expressing my femme side without being too uncomfortable or being straight up unsafe in public?
just to clarify, i don’t have gender dysphoria. i just don’t know how to properly express myself and it’s fucking me up. letting out some feminine mannerisms makes me feel very wary of myself and the people i’m around, and masking kills me on the inside a little everyday.
i can’t quite wear nail paint or mehendi, or even dress more feminine, my living conditions make that very unsafe for me. same for make up and anything else i can think of.
i'm 22, lesbian and i live in a conservative city. and now that i'm getting older it's all getting a little too real and i'm losing confidence in myself. how am i even supposed to tell them i'm gay if i'm shitting my pants over them denying me from even dating a MAN
i don't know anyone who's queer irl. i've never even heard of rumours or stories. i've been researching online and everywhere for a long long time bc i need to know what do queer people do???? how do you save yourself. and if you've done it please share your story i'm kind of desperately looking for hope i just need to know if it's actually possible and if i can do it
So, a few weeks ago while I was using Grindr when I got a message from a guy around 9 Kms away. We chatted a bit and then when it came for the sharing of pics I shared mine first and in return he did his too and it turned out that I knew him- he was my cousin from extended family(who is married). I acted as if I didn't knew him(he reacted in the same way) and told him that I was sorry for sending him photographs of my friend(I then sent him a photo that was actually of my friend- offcourse with his consensus). I was freaked out but also in my head aware of the fact that it won't matter because apparently he won't have the guts to tell to anyone. I really feel sorry for his wife though, I've known her even before their marriage and it's just heartbreaking that she has to endure through it all her life.
I’m 23M from New delhi, i have had a crush on my childhood friend since i was 6. Like, we used to play house and i always wanted to be his wife in that (without even a question). I always thought this isnt just a roleplay. In future, Things will gonna fall in this way onli. But since puberty hit both of us, we grew up as individual men. We both had girlfriends after that. But still i was jealous of his girlfriend somewhere deep, even being identify as man. So, the conflict i wanted to be him but only if i’m presenting myself as a woman. What should i do now?
Was always bicurious! Started acting on it this jan! Very discreet and was scared obviously ! Tried hooking up ! Did a guy! Was fun!
March this year! Met a guy for the first time (without the intention of getting into his pants) He is younger , for reference i am 27, i was nervous but he turns out to be an amazing human ! We vibe ! We spend the first 15 days after the first meet together , overthinking struck , thought he is lovebombing or maybe it was his excitedness! He asked what my intentions are ,i love clarity from both sides ! So i told him i cant date !( not about the gender , more of not wanting to date) but yes i have my reasons ! We continued to talk !
Met him after a gap of 10 days! Same excitement! Kinda cheered me! Cz mind you! I am fucked up mentally! He cares! I can see it!
He was in a bad mood one day! I tried cheering him up! Went to his place! But for some reason I could sense he isn't as excited as he used to be! Different behaviour! I understand maybe his infatuation died! Asked him! He says No! Its the same as day 1! Downhill from there! Fights and fights! He kinda lied about something and it was a huge deal for me! That kinda messed me up more! Couldn't trust him after that ( hige overthinker if you have not realized yet)He was apologetic! We made up!! Even at this point I still think he cared!
Fast forward to July! Had another fight cz of me not trusting him! I think he had enough of me! Told me can't continue talking to me! And I think I handled it well, so I thought! We stopped! We met for an hour or 2 after that! Said our goodbyes!
Hahaha I mean what is bothering me now is I feel I was just a somebody to him! And also made clear what I wanted and what I didn't! Now I feel like whoring around! But at the end of the day! I miss that guy! I miss him a lot, to the point that I sometimes can't function proper!
Hahaha man I went outta my comfort zone and outta my scared zone to do whatever! But it kinda didn't work out! I don't know how I wanted it to work out though! Hahaha, maybe I am weird!
Edit: ignore the typos!
It was 8months of relationship and he decided to shit all over it.
I 28(M) is very selective about who I meet. And I know that I'm not bad looking. I as a gay man I have realised how deep rooted patriarchy is and it still functions in the queer community. I had to say no umteenth time for the guy to understand that I don't feel like taking off clothes to have sex. I just wished to talk and have a casual meet up, something I made very clear. Went on that date with so many hopes and it started off pretty well with fun conversations. But then it boiled down taking pants off to give the man some pleasure. One can ask for it, but what is this display of stubborn demand!
And then these people vent about not finding true love or meaningful friendships. Because it is hard to love someone who just doesn't understand consent just like any other entitled straight dude.
These douchebags then grow older to become those lonely creepy uncles everyone warns about.
No means No even if you are someone like SRK
Edit: I'm safe as I didn't allow things to escalate.
I've been looking for someone to date for quite a long time but things have never been favorable. Tried getting on different dating apps but failed miserably. We have to consider so many facts while on hunt to find the one.
Tinder/Bumble: Got so many matches but mostly no one was up for conversations, or eventually everything ended up to sexting or just hookups. People are rarely interested for dates or even just normal decent long conversation.
Grindr: Definitely can't expect to find guys here for dates, majority of the crowd is up for hookups and fun.
Instagram: Got few connections there, we liked each other's profile and started the conversation. However after some chats, realized that both had different expectations ( the person was bottom looking for top or vice versa, while I was looking for sides only) So it was a full stop for me on Instagram as well.
Getting out and trying to meet people in real has never been my cup of tea. I happen to be a very introvert and shy person in real.
Should I just give up on the thought of finding someone to date ?
Or anything else you guys do to find dates which I'm not aware?
just turned 19, queer (male). i thought entering college after years of being a loner would be different. that i'd be friends w real ppl. make memories and talk to.
everything js keeps going downhill. im halfway thru my second year. ppl be going on trips, hanging out w eachother and making plans for holidays. everything feels pointless after having worked your ass off only to have such an abhorrent college life.
im into metal, anime and i LOVE horror. lets be friends (maybe id find my the one tall type o negative bf lolol ^-^)
Today afternoon there was a pride parade at my institute. I'm not a member of the LGBTQ association, but yesterday they were inviting everyone to take part.... I'm not out to anyone and so everyone assumes I'm a straight person. My friends were like, oh tomorrow's the pride parade, no body turns up for these things, institute is just wasting money on these useless things instead of something good....and kindof categorised as "others", as if queer people are aliens.
I love my friends they are superb people.... and I know they would fully support me if i come out to them..but the way they reacted to it yesterday, I didn't go to the parade. I just locked myself in my room. Here in institute, if someone comes out as queer person, mostly everyone will be supportive, saying good things. But inside, they'll be judging and whispering ye "vo" log h among themselves. This happens everywhere in cities etc. and I'm tired of this..hence I didn't come out yet. I plan to move to foreign country and maybe then think of coming out. Why do people have so much say in what, whom, how we like or love... can't they just be like fine with it and move on...why to make it such a big thing....as a country, are we so jobless. And add Chennai's conservative mindset to this, it feels the city is judgemental....Insti is far better than what it is outside, but still... people need to get a job and keep their whispering out of who/what/how we love someone.
Sorry for the rant....i didn't know what to do..I was sad I couldn't attend the pride march
I'm 26M, Discreet and side. I've been looking for someone to date for quite a long time but things have never been favorable. Tried getting on different dating apps but failed miserably. We have to consider so many facts while on hunt to find the one.
Tinder/Bumble: Got so many matches but mostly no one was up for conversations, or eventually everything ended up to sexting or just hookups. People are rarely interested for dates or even just normal decent long conversation.
Grindr: Definitely can't expect to find guys here for dates, majority of the crowd is up for hookups and fun.
Instagram: Got few connections there, we liked each other's profile and started the conversation. However after some chats, realized that both had different expectations ( the person was bottom looking for top or vice versa, while I was looking for sides only) So it was a full stop for me on Instagram as well.
Getting out and trying to meet people in real has never been my cup of tea. I happen to be a very introvert and shy person in real.
Should I just give up on the thought of finding someone to date ?
Or anything else you guys do to find dates which I'm not aware?
For General discussions and interactions\~ And anything you have in mind
This is a scheduled post, that’ll be posted every day at 12PM.
If you’re looking for dates/friends, kindly go to the pinned dating thread.
Be kind and civil<3
I am genderfluid I love being both masc or femme i am a crossdresser, I love being able to be both masc and femme but my dating life is just fucked because straight women are directly out of picture as they won't be into it + and even with queer girls it's so tough to find the women who would be into me, so many queers are just straight up transphobic I always keep wondering if I will find someone? I legit don't know what should I do rn
Hello all my trans girlies. I'm looking for IRL shops that sell wigs in Mumbai. Synthetic is fine. I just need them to be clean and non smelly and easy to maintain. (Looking for a wavy bob, if that helps?)
Amazon wigs are non returnable and the reviews are mixed. But if anyone has purchased from Amazon and are happy with what they got, do let me know!
Same as title. So, I 18f like a girl since 11th, she was from my school but now she have blocked me from insta because I said something offensive which I believe I did and I regret about it too.
Now it has been 2 fucking whole years since she blocked me but I still check her profile like a freak, I have followed her from 3 unknown IDs which I think she doesn't know ki those IDs are mine. I am stalking her from the past fucking 2 years, I have a photo album of her youngest sister, middle sister and her too.
My sister says you are a being a creep and adviced me to move on from her but I just can't, it's just too hard for me and yk why? Because that girl was the only person in my life who made me feel things, I knew she was a bad person and had a very bad past but I just couldn't stop falling for her as you see I never had friends since the very beginning (not like I'm ugly or something, I m just socially awkward and a very introvert person) and she didn't had too. We had a lot of things common with each other. People used to say we look like sisters (I used to hate that part) because our facial features were very same. She treated me like I was the one for her but atlast she blocked me!
I don't know what I'm doing in my life rn coz it's the same fucking cycle -: eat, sleep, stalk and repeat.
I feel pathetic guys,i wanna stop this whole thing but I can't. I already have many problems in my life and these things are just making me even more crazy.
Please help!
Because honestly I have no clue if a girl is even flirting with me . She may be complimenting me with comments like u look sexy , but I think thats maybe just the straight girl talking. So I am nut good at picking up signals. Even in rural schools and small towns , my friends have had girlfriends but I too come from a small town but have never had a gf or even a casual kiss. So my idea is just to wait to be financially independent and then go to lesbian dating events . Hopefully there r good lesbian dating events in my future😅😅
Alright I'm pretty sure all of you must've heard this a million times and maybe even gone through the same. I am so tired of dating apps. I am bi but I just wanted to date a guy rn. Can't find a single one. Grindr and Reddit have people looking for just hookups. Bumble has guys but most of them are just inactive if I get a match. Then there comes the problem of being a top or a bottom, just do not like the fact that I keep attracting bottoms when I want to date a top or a vers. And I can't hit on anyone irl cause my gaydar is literally non-existent and no one has approached me despite the fact that I am open about being bi. I know being in Mumbai I have it much better and I'm really grateful for that. Alright it was just a rant, thank you so much for bearing with me.
Previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/LGBTindia/s/m68sZEJG2E
We met for drinks this time. We ordered couple of beers and started talking about life. I was all smiling and blushing, I couldn't hold it back.
After a drink down, I was brave enough to ask if I can kiss him and he agreed. So there's that. My first ever kiss. I never thought this would happen in my life.
Later, I held his hand, I felt loved and cared, such a wonderful feeling just by holding each other's hand.
Now I know, how I am deprived of human touch throughout my life.
After so many hopeless years, now I feel hopeful and confident about myself.
To even take this step, it was not possible without reading so many postive story on this sub. Thanks to all of you.
I am trans mbbs graduate ..Are there any trans doctors here who can guide me about the steps to change name nd gender in degree certificate?
I'm from Kerala..studied under KUHS
The last time I was in India, I had a traumatic experience on Grindr. The guy kept talking to me after I said I wasn't interested, even after he sent repeated "hi" messages. He gave up and said nasty things to me and the last thing he said was "Last time jiske sath soya tha, usko Aids tha" and then he blocked me.
Also I am average looking bear type guy, my picture was used by two different guys. I am worried whether I should use grindr with picture or not?
One of those lame days', when I just act like one of them, poking around and try to survive thru the day.
For General discussions and interactions\~ And anything you have in mind
This is a scheduled post, that’ll be posted every day at 12PM.
If you’re looking for dates/friends, kindly go to the pinned dating thread.
Be kind and civil<3
I saw you today morning in the Metro to BKC . You have such a wonderful confident style absolutely makes me happy. Add to that your cute earrings , denim shorts , and wonderful stripes ( pinkish orange) shirt over the white t shirt. I Wanted to compliment you but you were engrossed in your phone. You got down at Santacruz I think
Have a wonderful day & thanks for giving me hope for the future young people to come.
Didn't know where to post this