I wish I could get a therapist.

My therapist started believing in conspiracies shortly before this election. He actually bought those horse tranquilizer pills Trump made famous during the pandemic and TOOK ONE IN FRONT OF ME. He's gone full MAGA and has blinders on to everything in the world. He actually thinks the end of Roe is a meme and not real life.

Now I need a new therapist.

Whenever winter comes, I start feeling very low-sad all the time. I lose all motivation, interest, and everything else, and I don't know why. I've had my fair share of bad memories in the past, but during winter, I begin remembering all of them, especially at night when I try to sleep. I just get the urge to cry, and every day, I cry myself to sleep. I don't know what's happening with me; it doesn't happen as much during summer, but in winter, it happens a lot. There are so many things that was traumatic to me when a group of people assaulted me, when my fourth-grade teacher humiliated me in front of the entire class, when my tuition teacher humiliated me every day for struggling with studies, or when I tried to commit suicide but failed. These memories keep coming back and revolving in my mind all the time, but this only happens in winter.

After disclosing some…ethically iffy…experiences with my ex-therapist that my current therapist found to be concerning, she is encouraging me to make a formal statement against my ex-therapist.

Has anyone made a report against a therapist before? What was that experience like? What came of it?

What happened has definitely caused negative emotions (and plenty of rumination) for me, and I don’t want that to happen to anyone else; however, I feel a sense of betrayal against my previous therapist and am grieving that relationship. Any words of wisdom?

've been struggling with what I think is "contingent self-esteem"—basically, my self-worth feels very conditional. If something doesn’t go well, like when I don’t meet my expectations in studying or any or an awkward social interaction, or anything i really want but i dont come up to it, I have an almost automatic reaction. It’s like my body and mind default to feeling bad, unmotivated, and hopeless, and I even start feeling like I want to give up.

I try to talk to myself with self-compassion, but it feels like it barely makes a dent in how I feel. It’s like my positive self-talk doesn’t reach the deeper beliefs or fears causing this reaction, and they seem hard to change. It’s frustrating because it feels like this negative response just “happens” without much thought behind it, and I’m not sure how to break out of it.

How can i identify and change these beliefs?
What should I do when i feel like self compassion/positive talking doesn't change how i feel?
Is there anything to consider i might be doing wrong?

I hate going to school. I hate being shy. I hate being ugly. I hate that I’m fat. I hate being dumb. I have nothing going for me. I’m failing grade 11. I have no real friends. The only people that talk to me leave me out all the time and don’t even talk or hang out with me outside of school. I scroll on TikTok every day, just wasting my time seeing all these teenagers having so much fun with their friends, and all I do is stay at home 24/7 talking to nobody. It’s been like this for the past few years, and at this point I’m getting tired. I’m just so tired of this.

Hi! I am curious to get some thoughts on my situation with my therapist! We have been working together for roughly 3 years now. This has always been a virtual setup, never meeting in person. I am more in a maintenance season with things, but still like to meet once a month. They encourage me to reach out to coordinate weeks and days that work best as needed. Within the last few month they have been taking really long to respond. At first it was a few days, but now it is over a week. I am very respectfully about not messaging about anything other than scheduling.

I am wondering if this is a sign they no longer want to do sessions, or if I am reading into it. If this was the first time, I wouldn’t mind. This seems to be a trend every time I try to coordinate a day.

In all of our sessions they encourage me to reach out and seem like things are going well, or a least plan and reference future sessions. Any thoughts on sending a follow up message vs just leaving it?

I’m 24 years old and own my own home. Me and my wife just had a baby 5 months ago. I work both a full time job and a part time job while my wife takes care of the baby at home. Sometimes I just wish I could smash my phone, fill the gas tank, leave and never come back. I would never do that of course, I love the family I’ve started. But sometimes it feels like nobody gives a damn about me. Nobody asks how I’m doing, nobody cares about how I’m feeling. I literally sacrifice everything for everyone around me. In fact, I wouldn’t even be posting this here to a bunch of strangers if people in my life would just listen to me. I just don’t know what to do anymore, I’m getting so depressed but just keep denying it.

Hey guys,

So, when's the last time you actually took notes after therapy? l've been thinking about this because, honestly, l never do. l usually have my therapy sessions after work, but by the time l'm off work, i'm completely wiped out. The idea of writing anything down feels impossible, and l always forget a buncha the stuff we discussed.

I feel like I'm not getting as much out of my sessions as l could be tbh

Do you guys take notes during or after therapy? How much do you guys do it and do you have a shortcut to notes?

Would appreciate any advice.

How to distinguish false memories with real ones? I have two memories one me doing something and the other being told to do something. I feel extremely disgusted in both. But I can't distinguish whats real and not. Its scaring me and I HAVE to analyze everything it's a compulsion.

I'm using voice to text because I don't want to bother typing all this out. Please excuse any grammatical errors.

Hi, I'm a 22-year-old man that lives in the USA. Not really relevant, but that's just who I am.

I was wondering if someone here could give me advice on how to be a less hateful person. See, I'm an overweight guy and, as much as people like to say it isn't true, I absolutely get treated worse by many different people. All my friends are skinny people, so I see firsthand how differently I'm treated. I haven't been on a date in over 3 years, and I've tried to put myself out there so much (dating apps, going to bars, etc). I don't want to become a sad, cold, incel but it's hard to not feel that way when everyone acts so cold to me. No, I don't think that a partner will make me feel "complete" if that's what you're wondering. It would just be nice to have a best friend that I can also make love with.

I used to always try to be nice, even pushover-level nice when I was younger, but when I started my last job as a cook over a year ago, I came to realize that I'm just another random guy that has no significance. (I've contemplated this before, I've had a history of cancer and my brother was murdered at 16 years old, but up until recently I haven't really thought about it that hard) I quit that job a few months ago, and visited today, and nobody was happy to see me. I made no impact on anyone there. I feel ignored by society as a whole. I don't know how to approach people to be friends in-person, let alone women (furthest I've gotten is one phone number, followed-up by being ghosted) and I just feel so stuck.

There are no real places to socialize near me and there aren't any groups with my interests.

Please don't give me advice to lose weight, I'm already trying to do that. No, I don't believe my weight defines who I am, but it is definitely a factor in how I am treated by others. I just feel like I'm stuck. I'm lonely, sexually frustrated, and I wish I could just run away from it all and live in a swamp like Shrek or something. At least in that movie, the characters learn to appreciate him how he is on the inside. Nobody appreciated how I was when I was younger, and especially nobody appreciates how I am now. I'm a jaded recluse with anger issues. How do I fix myself?

I just saw a video about a neuropsychologist explaining how the death of therapist can affect the client and that nobody ever talks about that . I never though about is a really good question what would you do if your therapist and how would you handle it ?

I study in a different country than which I live and I have found it so difficult to find a therapist that actually fully invests in me because of this. I attend university abroad, but have to travel back to the US for the summer to spend my time working at home. In both countries, numerous therapists have refused to see me continuously. I understand that both countries have very different medical regulations that disallow for service across boarders, but it also makes it extremely difficult to create a continuous treatment plan and build genuine understanding when I change personnel once or twice a year. Neither therapist is able to treat me while I am in the other country, and thus neither fully understands the other half of my life that impacts me incredibly heavily.

I just want to know if any Redditors have good solutions to this or know of any programs to help with this. I am managing alright enough but I also think I could reach more than just surviving from the benefit of a therapist that knows the complete ins and outs of my life.

I have managed to reach a level of “not-failing” between support from my parents when I’m home and accommodation from my school but I can’t say I am actually doing well. Everyone I’ve asked in my personal life between family, friends, and student services has recommended or claimed that my only option is to split doctors, but this hasn’t actually been working well for me. Every time I try to transition between the two, covering the gap of information between the time from which I last saw each respective therapist dominates the time of actually working through my struggles.

I’m not sure what to do. Are there any services that cover across boarder treatment? I don’t even know where to start, and while each respective therapist is technically good at what they do, none of them understand the full picture of my life and struggles in a way that they are truly able to help me… I’m drowning between all this.

The few times I’ve tried with this current system have been met with very momentary solutions as each doctor can only help for so long.

Any advice or personal experience would be greatly appreciated. I’m ok enough but am really struggling with not being more than ok… I am diagnosed with Persistent Depression and ADHD and it is severely impacting the way I regulate and interact with my life if this helps for context. I have dealt with suicidal ideation and self harm in the past, and although this is no longer something active in my life, I fear that the way this is making me feel might lead down to those actions/thoughts again.

So three days ago I found out that my uncle died in India (my dads brother). I didn't get to affected because I only met him like thrice, but it still felt kinda unreal cause no one I'm close to has ever died. But still, I had no emotions on it. The only reason I was sad when I found out was because my dad was sad and crying. I love my dad with all my heart he's the most important person in my life and when I saw him crying (which he never does), I couldn't help but cry. I found out on a school morning, then I went to school and my dad went straight to India for two weeks and I didn't really get to say bye to him. Anyways, I didn't really feel sad but for some reason that morning my heart was beating super fast and I felt like throwing up (this was after I got to school) but after like 5 minutes it went away and I was normal until now (3 days after I found out). Basically when I look at my phone I feel light headed and I keep breathing in and out to feel better but idk why? I also have a tournament and 4 important tests coming up super soon and I am kinda stressed about it, but I've never had this type of reaction under this type of stress. I just don't know why I'm feeling like this because I'm not even sad? Also some info: I'm a girl in 9th grade, idk if that helps?

Someone asked me how my therapy was going, and this is the best analogy I could give them to describe how I feel like I’m being “unmade”.

It’s like I was a puzzle, and someone took the entire puzzle apart, replaced the picture, and now I have to put it together to figure out what I am now.

That was the first thing that popped into my head.

Edit: I don’t mean this as a bad thing either.

An another post someone suggested I may have bpd but I don't feel like I have enough symptoms but idk I'm open to other opinions

Symptoms may include:

A strong fear of abandonment. This includes going to extreme measures so you're not separated or rejected, even if these fears are made up. A little? It's a but complicated but I'd never do something extreme towards others most I've ever done was lie (not just a little) so they don't know my beliefs so they wouldn't get upset.

A pattern of unstable, intense relationships, such as believing someone is perfect one moment and then suddenly believing the person doesn't care enough or is cruel. No I don't have those really. Nobody is perfect of course and usually I have a hard time being open enough to even form close relationships.

Quick changes in how you see yourself. This includes shifting goals and values, as well as seeing yourself as bad or as if you don't exist. Well I don't really ever feel great about myself just something like a eh guess I'm ok like most people or maybe I'm a little cute but it does go low.

Periods of stress-related paranoia and loss of contact with reality. These periods can last from a few minutes to a few hours. I don't think so???

Impulsive and risky behavior, such as gambling, dangerous driving, unsafe sex, spending sprees, binge eating, drug misuse, or sabotaging success by suddenly quitting a good job or ending a positive relationship. No more the opposite since I'm anxious and cautious.

Threats of suicide or self-injury, often in response to fears of separation or rejection. Never threatened it or anything like that to someone. I don't like people worrying about me or making others feel negatively at all really.

Wide mood swings that last from a few hours to a few days. These mood swings can include periods of being very happy, irritable or anxious, or feeling shame.

Ongoing feelings of emptiness. I guess so

Inappropriate, strong anger, such as losing your temper often, being sarcastic or bitter, or physically fighting. I don't do this, I just go from 😐 to ☹️ basically I don't really get "high" moods except for when I'm exicited. For most things that make people angry it just makes me sad.

So like is that indicitave of it or no

I recently bought what I thought were The Eras Tour tickets from a guy I met on Facebook. We voice called and talked, and he also showed me an ID - which turned out to be fake. I didn't know who I could go with, so I made a new friend at school (after posting about the tickets on my personal social media). We'll call her Alyssa. Alyssa and I are in the same grade. She's #8 in our class rank, super smart, beautiful, kind and sweet. You'd think she's innocent but she is downright bad for DARK romance (which makes her more attractive in my opinion). We had just started talking [as friends only]. She's never been to a concert before, and has loved Taylor Swift since she was 5 years old; we are seniors in high school now. Alyssa had just turned 18 so we were able to book hotel rooms in her name and such. So we booked a hotel room, decorated her Toyota Carolla with "Get away car for The Eras Tour", something a lot of Swifties were doing at the time. We got packed, drove 10 hours to the hotel room, and got to the security. Passed the security, and now it was time to scan our tickets. But before we got there, we struggled through 4 hours of wait time to get limited edition TS merch; making memories through the stationary line. As the barcodes on our tickets were scanned, it turns out that they were all fraud tickets. We were denied entry and there was no other way for us to get in. Previously, I called Ticketmaster to confirm our tickets, and they said if we just gave the venue our name (that the tickets were under), they would allow us in. They did not. So we were lied to twice.

It was soul-crushing.

I would have been fine if I had only scammed myself of $500 (only for the tickets "priced at face value"), but I scammed Alyssa, a smart, personality-attractive girl who I wanted to genuinely cherish. We're friends still, but she's heartbroken.

How can I forgive myself for bringing Alyssa down with me?

So my friend and I are both in our 30’s. He’s great in a lot of ways, but was raised in an abusive home with parents who didn’t have the emotional intelligence to teach him a lot of relationship skills. He insists that his past doesn’t affect him today, but his lack of emotional intelligence has shown up in a lot of ways. (Can give deets if need be.) When he expressed interest in dating, I gently explained that I want a partner who’s able to give the same level of emotional support and validation that I do, and suggested that he consider going to therapy to work on his issues.

Y’all, this man said he wasn’t interested in counseling unless it was with a partner - in this case, with me - someone who is not only not his girlfriend, but whom he’s never so much as kissed. I said no, of course. The next time it came up, he agreed that he had a lot to learn but said that, instead of going to therapy, what he really needed was to find a partner who would teach him the skills he’s missing. (I think he kind of hoped I'd take him up on the "offer" but if anything it just cemented my decision to be nothing more than friends.)

On one hand, I fully realize this is not my problem. On the other hand, a girlfriend is not a therapist, and it irks me to no end when guys refuse to work on their sh** and expect women to do the heavy lifting for them. What would you say to a friend that said this? Is it worth even trying to explain why it’s unfair to ask or expect his future partners to be a substitute therapist?

Idk why I feel the urge to so strongly I've never cut before but I've wanted to for years sometimes I almost have but I still never have. Sometimes it seems so dumb the things that trigger it too and I just end up scratching myself and distracting myself the best I can instead but I'm sure there's better ways to handle this.

How do I move on from this

I did something extremely messed up and basically begged to be kidnapped and human trafficked online and my work found out!

There were nudes on the account which I’m pretty sure my manager saw!

I got groomed online when I was 12 and almost ended up being sexually trafficked! My parents told me it was all my fault and because of it I feel like I deserve to be kidnapped and sexually tortured!

I am going through therapy at the moment as suggested by work!

I’m so ashamed at the fact work found out and I explained how my mental health isn’t the best at the moment, but like how do I move on from this!

I don’t think I’ll get fired as it was more of a concerned conversation but I’m still so uncomfortable with the fact that I don’t know what he’s seen etc! I did delete the nudes quickly after posting for that reason but I hate not knowing etc, I can’t exactly bring it up!

I had 13 failed kidnap attempts too and after every single attempt I went home and I sat under the shower and I cried for hours, I was so scared, it’s like my brain is messed up from everything that happened at 12

Therapy does seem to help but I’ve had it in the past and it hasn’t stopped any of my urges! I’ve been putting myself in extremely dangerous situations! Like do I try to seek a bdsm style relationship or literally just do roleplaying online to get that adrenaline rush!

I have no idea what to do! I used to be the innocent person but now work knows I have a kidnap kink and I honestly can’t look my manager in the eye!

I’ve been crying all evening and I feel so vulnerable right now! I also hate myself so much right now! I haven’t been eating, I promised him that I’d stay off the app but I knew there was loads of groups etc on here that might help me! I’m no longer posting stuff like that, I’m sticking to my dark books and trying to piece together my life, I know I can move on from this! It will be hard but I know I can do it

🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

That's it i'm seriously losing it and need to find good affordable therapists in dubai, i'm Egyptian and would appreciate annny lead that could help connect me with someone who at least shares a similar cultural background but is not insanely expensive. I work paycheck to paycheck and really need help. Thank you in advance

I have been going through this journey of personal growth, self awareness and healing. I have been going to therapy for a couple years now and recently had to switch to a new one and have gone deep into things. Long story short, I recognize that I have chosen my husband subconsciously that ahows similar patterns that I grew up in (ie: invalidated) but also what I lacked and didn't want to repeat. I wonder if the same applies with my husband.. I would describe my MIL with my relationship with her for 10+ and what my therapist have said as emotional immature (possibly narcissistic), narrow lensed, difficult, inconsiderate. We have had issues in our relationship and I don't see myself in her at all and work to not have those issues. I don't say this in a judgemental way. I wonder if my husband may have chose me because of following familiar/comforting patterns or because what he didn't receive (ie: comfort, consistency, empathy). I ask this because I see my husband have a hard time saying no to his Mom, often playing middle man and I value and work to become more of someone that isn't like her.

It went so well she actually told me the feeling was mutual. We terminated future sessions and are getting married. JK! LOL.

No I told her. Her response was she felt: flattered, neutral, and curious. Typical therapist response.

Ughh!! I feel so much better and I feel it will make it easier to open up to her. A little part of me still wishes and wonders what that potential possibility of us being together would be. I feel so stupid and juvenile for having a fantasy about someone who’s adjacent to a doctor, but more so like a teacher. Idk idk idk HELP!!!!

I’m in a weird place lately. I feel all jittery and overly happy, almost like I’m buzzing or on edge with this restless energy. But deep down, I feel like it’s not real, like this happy feeling is just a cover or something. I’m anxious all the time, and now it’s gotten to the point where I’m crying out of nowhere.

It’s like I’m bouncing between feeling ‘up’ and just feeling totally off. Has anyone else felt like this? It’s hard to describe, but it’s like a mix of anxiety, forced happiness, and sadness under the surface. I know sometimes people say to just go see a therapist (and I’m open to that), but I guess I’m wondering if this resonates with anyone else and if there’s a name for it.

I’ve been in therapy for about a decade now and although I have done a good bit of healing, I struggle with relationships and trusting. I know myself, my patterns, and why I have these issues… but I am stuck when it comes to opening up, trusting other people and feeling safe in general. I have done CBT, CPT, EMDR, Lens nuerofeedback, IFS and a little bit of DBT. I still have a very difficult time and not sure what to do. Every therapist seems to say “well you have the ability to keep yourself safe by setting boundaries”.. which is true but the thing that upsets me most is the powerlessness and lack of control. I can set boundaries but that doesn’t stop cruel people from disrespecting them. That doesn’t stop bad things from happening in situations where I can’t find a way out. I am not sure how to fix this negative world view because most approaches seem to be so self-centered (which isn’t necessary bad ) but I already know enough about myself and what I need to do. I don’t know how to just exist in the world with other people without feeling like I never drop my guard down. Please help - how did you overcome this?

I have chronic eustachian tube dysfunction. Nothing has helped but ive habituated to it a while ago. I am having a new sensation in my ear that is related but is stressing me out so much. Nothing can be done medically. Ill just have to wait and see if it goes away but its driving me insane. I would like some advice for how to cope and aclimate to the sensation.its very irritating and im really stuggling

I first want to apologize for it being long and for my spelling mistakes. I also feel like I am very dramatic, but it is what I feel and I don't have anyone to talk to. I'm not sure I explained the situation well and I don't even know what kind of advice I'm asking for, as I don't think this situation can be fixed and I'm just very weak

I entered a high school where all the teachers are strict and I am sensitive. There is not a day that goes by where I am not stressed because anything can happen at any time. Every teacher randomly gives an unannounced test or asks randam students questions for grades. I usually have 6 hours of school a day, so I have to study for each separately daily, but there is too much information to remember and I can't, so I study everything but not perfectly and because of this I always get the grades 5 or 6 or 7 or 8.The scoring system in Romania is from 1 to 10 and I have to get at least 5 to pass. I feel like no matter what I do I can't get more than an 8 and before I was in high school I only got 9's and 10's. Even though last year I hardly studied at all I got good grades but this year I really started studying a lot and still can't get good grades from my parents' point of view. They keep telling me that I'm lazy and they fight me because of my grades and my mother is very mean to me because of this and tells me that I'm also the most stupid one in the class and that she's ashamed of me.When I tell my parents that the teachers are too strict and bad, and that they dictate to us continuously without explaining pages after pages , only to expect us to know it the next day , my parents say that I am lazy.. I'm afraid to go to school every day because of this because I can always get a grade between 5 and 8 and after that I have problems at home. I don't know what to do. All my friends who went to lower high schools than mine don't have these problems and from what they tell me it's very good compared to how it is for me and my parents don't let me transfer to a lower high school. High school is from 9th grande which I'm now in, but even 8 th grade was very stressful for me because it had at the end of it an national exam and the grade of it says on which high school I get in. To explain it better, after we take the exam we all have to make a list with the high school we want to get in and put them in order, then the computer looks into the most put high school and takes automatically all the students with the highest grades in it until it fills the free spaces. Then it goes to the second most put high school. If în my list I didn't get in the first one that I put, then it goes to the second and so on until I have the exam grade to get into the next that comes in that list (idk if I explained it well) but in conclusion there are a lot of high schools. The last year I was warned constantly about the exam by all the teachers and by my parents, they forced me to study to get into a decent high school and I still didn't get in a top one because I got around 8 and something in the exam but is still high the level of expectations there. I feel like crying for no reason a lot of time and I have been having dark thoughts, but luckily I'm afraid to act on them. I also started losing weight. My height is 1,67 cm and before 8th grade I had 52 kg and now I have 47/48 (at one point I had 46, but it was because I got sick for a day and threw up, however it was only for a day)

How do I stop this?

I’m really struggling with the emotional pain right now. It’s physical too—like in my stomach, chest, and hands. It feels like the sadness is just eating me up, and sometimes I even want to pick at my skin to try to make it stop. I’m crying a lot, even when I’m doing things I normally enjoy. The sadness just seems to come out of nowhere, like a cloud, and it brings on this heavy depression. A lot of the time, my body hurts so much I can’t move. How do I stop this?

please help im stuck in the middle of wanting to make one family member feel the same way they made me feel but at the same time i feel a little bad about it.. my therapist told me to move on but its difficult when i cant avoid them during family functions .. like i just hate seeing them and i cant move on and act normally

Ive been going to a therapist for about 3 months now and shes amazing, i've shared more stuff then any of my past therapists. But i usually avoid certain questions, or don't bring up what i really struggle with. There are many things id like to get out because i know it will help me, but i really don't know how. any tips?