Even though it’s cold AF where I am still, I the sunlight this morning and it made my stomach drop. I don’t know why, but I am dreading the summer the most, without him. All our memories last Summer, by the lake, having picnics, going to the amusement park, driving around, eating ice cream….

I don’t know. I’m just dreading it. And there’s no where I want to go and nothing I want to do without him there with me.

I have a whole list of saved date ideas in my city that I wanted to do together, and thinking of him at these places with other women, is eating me alive.

Ive began to resent pretty women throughout all this, too. I see them and I think that’s what he wanted, and the kind of women he’s entertaining now, and it all hurts.

Now I will be short and clear - we broke up 3 months ago (she with me) after 6 years. She said she doesnt feel towards me like she used to. She acts differently and my strong opinion is that she is like that due to the hormonal birth control. Anyway, i am pretty good with the no contact so far, we had contact like twice in 1.5 months of no contact, and the contact was me being at her place because i had to bring something to het mother. I havent harrased her with any message bombarding or stuff. Today, out if blue with no specific reason (from my side atleast) she blocked me on FB, but not also on IG. Which i find strange, but wont reach out to her for answers why. But now Valentine's coming in 2 weeks i thought i want to make it as a final act - send her flowers to her workplace via anonymous delivery with a card and thats it. No texting or anything, just that and leaving it to fate whatever might be then.

Found out she made out w some guy last night and didn’t even make her think of me

She’s been fucking horrible all throughout the relationship (3 years, 4 in march) and shes a cheater and selfish as fuck and I hate the fact I couldn’t let her go earlier. I regret it so fucking much

But yet she’s still that sweet girl who has my heart and I hate the fact she does and I feel like I’ve been dating a made up version of her in my head and I’ve finally come to realise the true type of person she is. The one who everyone told me she was but I couldn’t believe it. The one who everyone hated me dating, but me, because I was so fucking blinded with love all throughout the years but I finally understand what the actual type of person she is.

So I got sent this screen shot the other day, just about died laughing. He posted "remember it takes 2 to kill a relationship so blame her and her mother for raising her that way, you did nothing wrong" So for some background context It was the worst relationship i had ever been in, he never even complemented me in two years we were together, not to mention literally threatening my life.

And when I saw this post my first thought was, this guy doesn't even have a dad... so who is he to really be saying anything about my mother. His mother couldn't even teach him how to treat a woman. He absolutely destroyed the relationship, guess some things do run in the family. 😂

Why do I still think about her even though I don’t have those feelings anymore, I don’t even feel pain when I think about her and her new guy she got with a month after breaking up.

I’m happier, wealthier and healthier but for some reason she remains in my thoughts a lot.

Any explanation or advice.

Fyi she was not a very nice person at all.

My ex and I broke up almost an year ago. I found out that he was two-timing me. I cried and begged for him to take me back so we could start over, but he told me that he was in love with this other girl. I immediately went no contact, blocked him and his new GF ( and their joint couples account. Yes, they have a couples account where they are documenting their relationship).

Saying that I was depressed is a severe understatement. Everything in my life was falling apart. My anxiety attacks peaked.

Around November of last year, I started to feel a little better. Spent a lot of time with my friends and family, went on trips and had a great time. I did not get a "Happy Birthday" text last December or a "Happy new year" . Even though I had blocked him, I foolishly wanted him to contact me during the holidays, via email or somehow. Maybe I needed the validation that I'm not someone you can easily discard.

During the 3rd week of January I was doing pretty well. I felt well enough to unblock them.

That's when I saw that they are planning their wedding. They have been travelling to places he and I had talked about. I see that she is super close to his sister. They are already treating her like family. The progress I had done so far shattered. I was back to square one, and the panic attacks started.

Immediately blocked them and promised myself to truly cut him off of my life. If he can build a life like nothing happened, so can I. I deserve so much more. No matter how well I'm doing in my life or how good I feel about myself, I will never give in to the curiosity.

I have a great life and I can't spoil great moments just by imagining that my ex is living a happier life than me. Live and let live my friends! This is a reminder to myself to not look back, not even with a nostalgic feeling. 2025 will be my year of new beginnings!

Wishing everyone on this sub a great year!

I was discarded over text by my avoidant ex back in September, 2 years into our relationship. This came completely out of the blue and I did what most people in this sub have probably done: begged, pleaded, apologized and finally accepted her 'friendship'. All I got as a reason was 'gut feeling' and that she had realised we had no future together.

After two months of manipulation and breadcrumbing on her part, I finally stopped replying and entered into no contact. Apart from her reaching out to wish me a happy Christmas and ask how I'm doing there has been zero contact since November.

The pain I feel now though, is as raw and brutal as the day she discarded me. It is as if my heart stopped beating 5 months ago, but my brain and the rest of my body carried on living. Most days I feel completely numb and have to pretend to be ok.

I've tried everything - meeting new people, starting new hobbies, travelling more, going on dates, and yet nothing seems to help. I feel like I am obsessing over someone who moved on months ago, and no contact is not helping me move on either.

How can I accept the situation and move on?

Dating girl long distance , she hit me with the need space, no problem no big deal give her as much as she needs with me still being there cause yeah she going through hard times and I get it , don’t want to be another pain… but she post a story of getting a tat done and then tagged another guy on it … so me just wanting to speak up about it , I asked who he was , “keep in mind his profile cover has a picture of them in matching shoes” and she just like just a guy I’m close with so I’m like okay, and she was just like I don’t really like insecure, keep in mind I’m not upset or mad about it just was thrown off and curious … because I do trust her and wasn’t getting a bad feeling about it all … but just knew I would if I didn’t say nothing so I came to her about it as soon as I seen it … so am I insecure or overreactting

Ex is getting her second kidney transplant after a year. saw on social media.

This time last year I was told by my ex to leave her alone. Detective said neither of us can talk to each other (she was doing shit too)

Even if I wanted to send flowers like I did her first transplant.. I cant. She totally removed me from her life.. I would look crazy

Seven years is hard for me to let go of the feelings I still have. its been two years we separated one year since we called it completely off.

Im going crazy I want to care then I dont and shouldnt feel guilty.

I just want this pain to go away. I never should of looked.

How was your first month of 2025???

What was most painful about it, and what are you planning to do in February?

For me it was learning to be alone, feeling like all my friends are in relationships and busy.

I’m learning to genuinely enjoy my own company. And I’m finding new ways to socialize and connect with people.

And I find helping people helps, so let me try and help you… if you’d like to share the heaviest parts of your last month. I’m happy to listen :)

i know i should stop but something inside me is still latching on and i don’t understand why?? it was a month of NC and she js moved on like it was nothing and it sucks.

I don't know where to go with this or what to feel right now but I'm pretty gutted to say the least so I got broken up with almost a week and it's been a difficult thing, I have been struggling with some depression and saw how it affected my ex, it's been six years of trying to figure things out and I decided this year I'll go and see a therapist, so lasts week I've noticed communication was off and then went to collect a bag of clothing that was left behind with her before the holidays started.

I decided to do what would be best and got her treats and flowers for just to apologize and try and show her that I still do care and went to go and see her with one thing in mind and that's to own up to what I have been trying to speak up on.

I spoke up about how I've been going through it and how I know I've not been the best to be with. I informed her that I only want the best for her and then she asked me really? And then I said yes and I'd do anything for her, she said to me that she wants me to leave her alone and that made my head spin to say the least. I ended up leaving but before I did I left her a not saying that I care about her and that I still love her.

We haven't spoken besides her saying thank you for a cable that I had bought and that was it. I am of the thought that I need to respect her wishes and not be a bother or smother her with getting in thw way although I could view her statuses until Today, she blocked me from viewing but I didn't expect it and it made me cry

I don't know what to do or where to begin but I know I don't want to disrespect her because she did ask me more than three times if I understood...

I feel messed up and manic like I'll just rock up and spill my heart out but I also know that's just going to be stupid

He texted me yesterday night and I'm eagerly dying for his text since the day we maintained NC and i used to literally think that we will again be together like old good times but guess what I didn't felt any warmth which I used to feel early he was talking nicely but it felt very distant and cold so today I decided to end this continuous loop I sent him our pictures and chats screenshot and then told him not to text me again unless he voluntarily feel like texting me because this time he came because his friend was insisting him and I don't want someone who is not clear about me. And after this whole 3 months roller coaster ride I finally feel relief.

As the tile suggest. It's day 4 of being broken up with from a almoat 4 yr relationship. Today I have the strong urge to text her. But idk if that is even worth it. Idk what to do. And maybe I shouldn't play with impulse. Any advice?

Writing this post hoping to find some answers as to how i can get over my ex situationship. So, it all started in December of 2023. We went on a trip with our families (we’re family friends) and discovered how similar we are to each other, how we almost have the exact same likes and dislikes and this led to us being emotionally as well as physically intimate. This was a new feeling for me as I had never been comfortable being physical with a guy before and before I knew it i was falling for him. We live in different countries so after two weeks of hanging out it was time for him to go back home. Neither of us wanted to do LDR and so we decided to remain friends. We would facetime each other everyday but after a while it died down and slowly I realised he was losing interest and adding girls on his instagram so eventually we stopped talking completely. It has now been 7 months of no contact but i still think about him everyday and i still miss him alot. I even removed him from instagram but that didn’t help. With a little bit of stalking i found out that hes with his ex situationship now. I was hoping that was enough to help me move on but it wasn’t. I still compare every guy i speak with to him and always try and look for similarities. I am sick of feeling this way and I just want this chapter to end hence I’m reaching out to this community to help/guide me through this situation.

So yesterday (the 31st) was my ex’s birthday. We broke up a little over a year ago and I’ve since then have mostly moved on and had another girlfriend (who broke up with me 4 weeks ago lmao). But last night she accepted my follow request and started following me back on Instagram? On her birthday? I’m still trying to come to terms with my most recent break up since it was very sudden and extremely devastating so I’m not sure how to feel about this. Any thoughts on what her motives might be and what I should do?

2 years in a relationship. He dumped me over text. we're LDR for 80% of the relationship. It's been 4 days since the break up and 3 days of no contact, but before he broke up with me I booked a flight to surprise him on the 21st of February, told him this when he broke up with me and I decided immediately to not go (eventhough i have been looking forward to this for almost 3 fucking months, had this planned since december) A day after the break up we called eachother and asked if he still wants to see me on the 21st when im there, he said "yes, i want to see you. for closure". the moment he said that, it was the only hope i've clung onto that maybe there's a little chance that we can still work things out. prior to the breakup everything was so well between us, until now i still feel completely lost and blank to how it ended up like this.

I dont plan to initiating the conversation first when im there, i will wait for him to reach out as he promised me.

I need advice on how i should handle everything if ever we see eachother.

Me 30M and my ex 26F broke up 3 months ago. Week after the break up I left the country for two months. During that time i proposed not to speak any more and she broke no contact after 10 days. Since then we spoke every week or two about how we both felt and how was life going.

One month ago i came back and started my life again in the same city but this time alone. We saw each other and spoke about what we both wanted. Myself I still love her and I set my boundaries. She instead said that she loves me but she can’t be in a relationship until she figures out how to be ok on her own. She is too codependent and in some way this hurts her and any relationship she could have.

Since our first initial chat since I came back I have seen her more just to figure things out about our old apartment. I was gonna move into the apartment and she would leave because she couldn’t keep paying it on her own. So we had to see each other to change bills names and other unimportant stuff. But she always wanted to go out for coffee afterwards and keep hanging and chatting.

About two weeks ago we started seeing each other more. Because of a friend in common. And with this we also start hanging out by ourselves. Called me to go for a walk, to have some coffee before work even watching a movie at her place. Nothing ever happened out of this. But once she gave me a jealousy treat about me going out and assuming that I was moving on with my life.

For the last three days she had been moving her stuff out of the apartment so I helped her move out as well as she helped me to move in. I had seen some positive things from her part like calling me with our inside relationship nickname, looking for contact instead of just receiving it (hugs, holding hands, kisses in the cheeks). We spoke about our relationship and how she sees that her expectations around men are too high near impossible for someone to achieve and that I was 80% of all that she needs. But it’s still missing that 20% and that she knows that no one will ever be the perfect person for her. I said the same to her, that she was not my idolized partner. But was close enough and that’s why I wanted to be with her. And that that isn’t conforming or just set the bar lower. It’s the reality of the world.

Last night after moving everything I told her what I really thought about her. That she has the potential to be the best woman ever but until then she will continue to do the same things. And that that’s why I wouldn’t (even if I really want to) get back with her. This kind of hurt her but is the truth. After that we went out to drink a couple of beers and she started to trying to make plans for us to go to a techno festival this summer.

I had been honest about my feelings, about me and her. I set my boundaries saying we were not friends we are exes. She gave me her piece of mind about our old relationship. Jealousy, feelings hurt. And with all this she wants to keep hanging chatting or even make plans.

I guess I’m just venting, or maybe I’m looking for answers for something that not even have an answer from strangers in the internet. But this is my story and my life at this point. I’m not even sad or worried. I would just like to understand her. To see if I could help her out.

Based on her likes/reposts her mission failed and she is sad af. Her ex unfollowed her on IG.

More than a year since we broke up it wasn’t a good break up but he kept sending me fb links, tiktoks, ig reels usually of puppies or cats since he did that when we were together. I asked him why he does that and he says it’s nothing and just thought id like it. I already clarified w him if he wanted to get back together bc of what hes showing me but he kept being clear that he doesnt wanna get back together, whats done is done, no more part 2 etc. so it reached to the point i had enough sent a letter before the year ended in 2023 so i wont hurt myself anymore since he kept sending me them. He eventually stopped not until coincidentally we worked literally next to each other (building) it was my internship it was his first job so we did eventually become friends and he started sending me them again. Honestly it feels comforting thats why i tolerate it. I dont expect anything but it feels nice. This went on for months again. I dont expect anything and i eventually come into terms that we wont get back together etc but i cant help myself from replying when he sends me one.

It fluctuates it’s obvious and im aware he only talks to me out of comfort maybe he misses me so he sends but he doesnt want me. Thats clear to me and honestly maybe i feel the same. When i feel lonely id send some. When he sends i feel bad for myself i cant move on properly but i cant help but reply eventually. I try not to reply but after a few days or hours i eventually do idk why i cant explain but it’s like i feel bad and dont wanna be the “mean one” for just seenzoning it. Idk why it matters im aware he doesnt want me anymore im aware i should just ignore it but i keep feeling bad.

He probably just sends it when hes bored, lonely, or it’s not working out with whoever he probably is dating. I feel used but i cant help it but allow it because i feel bad that maybe if he misses me i still feel that responsibility to comfort by at least replying because maybe hes going through something. He shares things sometimes and i feel bad and i have to reply because maybe he rlly was excited about smth in his life and had no one else to share it to to the point he shared it to me. And it’s bad cos i cant do the same. He wont do the same for me but yet i always feel bad

yet another weekend sitting at home alone crying and miserable just like every day since you left And yeah I fully get it i did all of this I understand

everyone keeps telling me though keep your chin up don’t worry it’ll get better

but when when because so far it only gets worse it’s only down furtherg from here baby

the inevitable happened the moment I dreaded most but I refuse I’m not going down that road I can’t no one fully grasps how much worse I’ll be if I’m there they’ll say I’ll end up better because I’m with family but absolutely not no thanks I’m good

I already cry every day it’s gotten to the point where I wake up crying tears still falling from dreams of you that’s how far gone I am but I can’t talk to anyone about it because when I try they don’t want to hear it and when I stay silent they don’t want that either

and yet when the moment comes they’ll be the first to say I wish he spoke up more

and the worst part while I’m the one that ruined everything you think I’d recover quick or find someone new? Nope haven’t even entertained the idea of someone new I rarely even leave the house I’m here in the worst state of my entire existence with no light no end in sight And you’re the one that’s happy and moving on in life the ultimate price I pay for ruining my own life

get absolutely fucked I tried and look where that got me

from the bottom of my heart and soul the heart and soul you still hold or maybe packed away with the rest of me I need you to feel how sorry I am for everything for every bit of pain I caused

forgive me I’m sorry my love but I can’t forget you and I can’t move past you I don’t know what’s wrong with me for that I’m also sorry I always knew I’d never be the same after you I don’t know why but I just knew I was either going to say I made it or it would be the end of me I completely understand if you can’t forgive I wouldn’t want to either I’m sorry so fucking sorry

forever you

We've been broken up for a little over two months at this point. We were together long-distance for five years, and the ending wasn't really all that messy at least on the surface.

He requested no contact, and aside from a pre-agreed sending of his stuff, I have upheld it. Until today, when I asked about the stuff I had left over at his place. A few months before the split, I had left my 3DS with him as I was thinking his country might have better repair options then mine.

I sent a short dm as follows: "Hi, I know we're supposed to be NC so please don't take this the wrong way, I'm strictly here for business. Could you send over my 3DS? I don't need it repaired, I just want it back. I can even pay shipping if you want. Thanks for hearing me out and have a nice day."

I tried to keep a neutral tone, I did not pry or try to start up any conversations, I just want my things back. As an autistic idiot, this is starting to eat at me and I just want my things back so I can continue to move on. Maybe I should have added some fluffy pleasantry? What if he reads the wrong tone or intent of this and thinks I'm angry or something? Is it my own fault if I never see my things again?

But now this is starting to eat at me even more. Even before this, I asked on another sub if it's ok to reach out of NC to ask for things back. All people who responded said it is fine. I'm just extremely anxious as it feels like I have done something very wrong here.

If you get one chance to get your ex back and she is saying she doesn't' have feelings for you and she just wanna be friends. How would you convince her to give it a shot one last time ?

My(27F) ex (30) got married yesterday. We broke up in may Yeah..

After months of suffering and grief, I finally moved all our pictures off my phone. It was incrediblly difficult to do. It brought tears to my eyes as I had to sit for a couple hours and go through 3 years worth of memories. I still miss her a lot and feel very hurt by the way she just kicked me to the curb. It still feels like I'm living a nightmare that can't be true. But I think it's time for me to finally stop clinging onto hope and start taking proactive action to take care of myself and move forward as hard as it is. Every day I keep holding onto hope is a day deferred where I could be working on myself. I've given her more patience and kindness and grace than she ever gave to me. And that's the sad part, that even after she hurt me so much, I still would've done anything to make it work. I certainly wasn't perfect but I know that I did not deserve this. I would've never treated her like this. I just can't seem to accept that this is what has happened.

Trauma bonds are so weird. Its been about 7 and a half months since my ten year breakup. Today was rough, for no particular reason. I started the day with traumatic memories from our relationship which made me sad, and I went to bed with some happy ones memories. Which made me even more sad. Sometimes I'll go weeks without thinking about good memories because I'll be so focused on all the terrible memories, and then the good memories come rushing in and hit me like a brick wall. And I need to numb the good memories out more than I need to numb the bad ones out.

It's funny because he caused me so much pain but it also feels like he's also the only one who can take away that pain.

I wonder if he ever goes to bed thinking about our happy memories too.

One year one

This time last year my ex broke up with me (34m) she (26f) blindsided me after a year i know not long ..everything was great I thought..it was even her who initiated the relationship it was terrfying she went so cold ..it was like inwas no longer someone she like but was now somone she was activly hostile too...well I dealt with it gold star I'd say ..I didn't beg ..I didn't plead ..I just said "if this is how you feel ..its how you feel..you know where I am) then I simply didn't call, txt, nothing dark side of the moon ..no hbd ..no merry Xmas..I walked away and I went INSANE ..I DONT KNOW why ..but ive had 5 year relationships come to an end and I was ok ..but this floored me ...still i pushed forward ..got a new job ..best shape ..bought a new apartment ..went travelling and ive still (respectfully ) got with a few women.

But one year on I feel like a hallowed out version of myself ...myself esteem is shot ..and I suffered serious emotional whiplash..I can't get my head around how one day it's great and the next your a stranger ...i don't find anyone attractive..(despite being active) ..I still dream about her and strangely enough her friends have started adding me on insta : / and im sick of feeling like this ...i don't know what will remedy it ..I've done everything the books say ..I can't be in any better shape and i can't improve my life any more than i have ...but I just feel like a less confident, uncertain..cautious....pining. version of the man I used to be only capable of lust and en oui ...that year of my life was the most interesting and enjoyable so far ...and I feel that happiness in the future is now just a day dream ...has anyone felt like this before???

Please help