We don’t even follow each other and he’s dead set on moving on so why lurk? We work together too and he’s been trying to be friends, though I’ve asked him for space 3 times. Must be boredom or wanting to make sure I’m okay so he doesn’t feel guilt or something.

I realize I should probably add extra info

I’ve never dated and he came out of a long term toxic relationship. I guess you could say we already tried twice. I would say we were more of a situation ship .One time we went slow cause I said it was my first relationship, he ended it cause he wasn’t ready for a relationship. It being my first relationship I believed I could wait but the friendship we had after the first break was just both of us crossing the lines and acting like how we were previously so he officially ended things. I’m having a hard time moving forwards since I gave him every first except for the title first boyfriend. I acknowledge we moved way too fast and it is kind of embarrassing. I know I’m still holding on because he was the first person I was intimate with but I don’t understand why he keeps trying to be in my circle (maybe for normalcy?) and watches my stories.

I unfollowed him and maybe a month went by and he finally unfollowed me. I understood when he was following me cause he told me my page is the first one that pops up but now that we don’t follow each other I just do get it.

I’m genuinely assuming he’s just bored or curious. Idk it’s just weird to me.

Tonight I got some extremely heavy news. For more clarification on my story, look back into my previous posts but basically my alcoholic ex cheated on me and left me for my roommates friend. Since then I have made it a priority to finish every goal I made for myself and find my happiness again. Luckily I was able to do so within 6 months after the relationship ended. It was extremely hard for me. I blamed myself, went through all stages of grief, tried distracting myself. And things worked for a long time. I found my happiness again within myself. I have maintained no contact since May. It’s been officially 6 months. Tonight I was with some friends for one of our friend’s birthdays. My best friend needed a ride back to his house and asked me if I could drive him. On the way home we started talking about my old roommate and how he didn’t want anything to do with him anymore and doesn’t know how to break the news to him. I told him he should just be honest because he really isn’t the healthiest person for us to have in our lives. He then tells me the truth behind why he doesn’t want anything to do with him. My old roommate and my ex were having an affair behind my back. He had found out from one of our friends. My ex had told him everything. Both of my friends didn’t know how to tell me and didn’t want anything to happen while I was still living with him. I really don’t blame them for that because let’s face it, it would’ve turned violent. I’ve been out of that apartment for 2 months now. I have spent months trying to find the answers, trying to find my wrong ways and this information really shed some light on me. Yes I’m angry, yes I want to say something, yes I wanted to hurt the both of them. But instead I did something that was long overdue after blocking her on every social media. I blocked and deleted her number and anyone associated with her including my old roommate. It just wouldn’t be worth it. At the end of the day the only thing it changes is how I feel about everything. I can’t blame myself for the end of my relationship anymore. I can’t beat myself up anymore. There is no looking back. I dated someone absolutely awful for me. I was gaslit, blamed, cheated on, screamed at, made to feel less than par. I now realize it wasn’t me. This was all the confirmation I needed. I can be angry all I want but I have to look at all of my progress and see just how better off without her I really am. And trust me, I am WAY better off. I’m proud of myself for what I did tonight and I’m grateful for my best friend telling me what he did. I can now fully move on. I will never talk to those people again. And most importantly, I’m still happy!

Hi all, quick run down i'm (the Dumpee) we broke up at the start of October she told me we rushed an was not ready for a relationship she drove 45mins to see me in person to do this so i respect that an it was unfair on me as i'm a great guy and she is confused. I accepted the breakup we didn't argue i we text that same night a little an i asked her the usual why/i loved her an she said she loves me to and i make her happy but she makes herself happy blah blah. Since then we have been NC not seen spoke or heard anything from each other since.

Fast forward a month i went to search for my cousin on Facebook as was her birthday, they have the same name as my ex so i type in her name an see my ex does not show up at all being curious an dumb i looked an yep ive been blocked on everything even our whatsap so guess she deleted my number. I have no idea why because we were not talking anyway and i can't lie to you i was feeling better working on myself going to the gym trying out new thing i go on hoilday tomorrow to dubai an this honestly is all thats on my mind this hurts. Now it feels like she wont reach out to me ever again which okay i guess but i wasn't doing anything to warrent a block i was leaving her be i wasn't even looking at her socials.

I know everyone says this but i was a good partner to her she would always tell me how no one has been as good to her as i have and how i was too good to be true etc. Im not perfect trust me, right now im a bundle of anxiety an my body screams at me to get around the block somehow but i wont of course. It just feels like i meant nothing to her now if you can so easily just wipe me out of your life. Especially as we were basically the same person ive never met someone with so much in common an same humour etc im scared, terrified even ill never find that again.

Sorry for the rant

My ex broke up w me a month ago. After 3 days he came back, telling me he doesn‘t wanna throw us away, he wants to be friends and see from there.. but it was just a snapchat friendship.. he was taking longer and longer w replying me back eventho he was the one starting the convo.. to the point where he was leaving me on delivered for 17 hours while he was posting stories on IG or snap.. I was being patient for 2 weeks but it hurt me seeing him go from talking everyday from hours to „ignoring me“ for almost a whole day.. after that, I txt him saying I‘m disappointed at him, and he asked 16 hours later why and I sent him a simple txt .. left me delivered for an entire day, and I couldn‘t take this anymore. I deleted my txt and unfriended him on snap.. it‘s easier for me to move on instead of hoping he will come back.. but how can I stop feeling the „what if“ scenario?.. what if I did a mistake? What if I should have waited to read my last txt? Maby he would have changed? (Ik this wouldn’t have happen but still there‘s just this small hope)

Basically it is what i said, me and my ex of 5 years broke up 3 months ago, mutually.

She said some really hurtful and bad things like blaming me for everything basically. (I didn’t know the real her, bad for her, held her back, ect ect)

Last we spoke she said all that stuff and basically told me we cant be friends for a while which i agree with, but it didnt help when i viewed her insta stories as it was just a bit hard, so i did the “soft blocking” thing on instagram and restricted her profile so i dont see any posts or stories.

Im just curious if its werid that shes viewing literally every story i post, i feel like its a bit werid.

Side note: she likes some of my instagram posts as well, so thats also another thing thats werid

My first love, my first relationship ended weeks ago after a 1 year and 2 months. But it goes beyond that, we were besr friends at first.

Ended up things because shes "better off being alone" despite having all the love she has for me. And thoh i do understand it a little bit, I couldn't fathom the fact that she can't fight for us.

Looking back, I was really happy. I was the happiest in my life when I was with her. Maybe one of the reasons i find it hard to let go. But I was also not satisfied either. Looking back on our relationship, there are countless times where I felt alone, I felt like I wasnt seen, where I felt like she didn't care at all with my well being (which I know she does, she just lacks the initative)

But despite everything that i hated about our relationship, despite how mad I feel towards her, I couldn't let go. All the time, Its her that im thingking about. Its the constant what ifs and the hope that maybe sometime in the future we will be back together

But i want to move on, i really do. But it is so tiring that I could not get my toughts to stop. Despite recalling why I dont like the relationship and why we ended things, I couldn't bear myself to let go and move on.

I need help, i dont know. I have been suffering from being left out all the time ever since when I was a kid. Sure, i have a few friends, but it's not those types where we are super close and all. Things changed when she came to my life. She was the best friend that I had ever wished for, someone who knew me. So, despite all the flaws when we become partners, the way she speaks and understood me overlaps it.

I know people will say that there are many fish in the sea, and I want to believe that as well. But how? when all i could think of is that she is the only one who can ever match my weirdness. Who would ever want to talk to me like a baby, or let me talk to their stufftoy, respects my weird boundaries in sexual stuff, or talk dirty about celebrity crushes. Its so hard to believe that there will be someone for me in the future when I've established this very deep bond with her.

How do i move forward? I already have the initiative by reaching out here, but my heart always stops me. I know, its only been weeks after the breakup but I am so scared that my world will continue to crumble if I dont get my emotions all sort up.

If you left me alone and told me to fuck off why are you trying to make my life miserable on the way ? 😂 Fun ? Revenge? Money ? Moved on dw about it past I’m willing to hear

I met this guy last year when I was reviewing for the boards. He was also reviewing for a different boards but we’re staying in the same building. I met him 3 months after my last relationship. At first, I thought it was just nothing since I was still healing from my last heartbreak so I didn’t pursue it. Ff to Jan 2024, biglang nasa iisang circle of friends na kami and there’s still sexual tension between us. We decided to act on it, I was still healing back then but I know I’m also falling for him. Last Feb, I asked him about his plans on ours and di ako satisfied sa sagot nya so I decided to get out of the situation asap. I showed him how I can pull off other guys who are willing to pursue me after that conversation. I know I should’ve understand our situation more since nagpreprepare nga kami sa exam. Huhu Right now, I regret all the things I’ve done. I miss him and I’m still being haunted by him. Should I still reach out to him and ask for closure? Or hayaan ko na lang at wag na sha guluhin?

My ex left me for money. According to him, I wont be able to contribute as much he wanted. He is married now to a girl who not only has an amazing career but must have also given dowry considering how happy he looked in pictures. We dated for a short while and was love bombed throughout. It's been more than a year. I am unable to move. I think about him almost everyday. I think what I struggle with is that he actually must be feeling that he made right decision leaving me. Any tips to get through?

Imagine the cord that connects you to the person whom you wish to be released from. Then, visualize yourself holding a pair of scissors and cutting the cord, letting the connection fade back into darkness. It may be easier to perform this ritual with an actual thread and pair of scissors. (DO this if u cannot stop thinking of them 24/7)

He broke up with me on our anniversary day of two years last week after an argument we had over him being moody and me not able to hold back my urge to make it right. I am the one that wants to talk it out while he is the person that wants to be left alone in these moments. It got very heated on his part so I was basicly in shock about all the anger he hold in. I am seeing a therapist to work on my anxiety but in his mind it’s all on me and the progress is not enough. He said he is done and has no emotions and energy and that moving in with me was the biggest mistake in his life. That all hit me hard. I feel like I can not let it go and want to prove that I am worth it. Now having him sleep next door and living in the same space and act like I am not existing urges everything inside of me to just walk over and try to talk again. How can I let him go when I love him still?

Me (28M) and my girlfriend (29F) have been in a relationship for 2 years, in the initial days of our dating she had lied to me about visiting a sick relative, but after months I had found out that she actually went drinking with one of her male colleagues. I didn’t make a huge issue out of it as it happened when we weren’t exclusive and things had not really started between us. Over the weekend she went out on a trip with her work friends and that guy was also there. I’ve seen them hanging out in the past as well and they sometimes get really close and touchy. She has assured that there’s nothing between them, and I kinda believed her, but I think there’s something going on between the two. Am I overthinking this or should I dump her?

I'm a current dumpee, but based on my past exprience with being a dumper I think its like this

1 Month after the Breakup. Dumper has breakup Euphoria. You hear about this, and its true. The dumper hardly misses you in the first 1-4 weeks. They are enjoying their new freedom. They don't have to contact you more or spend time with you anymore. Life is great. They're maybe a tiny bit sad they don't have you to say good night to etc, but all in all life is good.

2 Months after the Breakup. For the first time the dumper checks to see where you blocked them or unfriended them. They're interested in what you've been up to. They're surprised you haven't tried reaching out to them. If they notice you've blocked them or unfriended them, they'll feel some hurt, but no remorse

3 Months after the Breakup. The dumper starts to miss you for the first time. Breakup Euphoria has finally completely worn off and they are faced with the reality that they are single. They are faced with the reality that they were in a relationship with someone who loved them, and they chose to end it. At this point the dumper either reaches out with bread crumbs to the dumpee or they dive into dating apps

4-6 Months After the Breakup. The dumper is plagued with regret, so as long as the dumpee was a good partner. Sometimes this regret can be so great the dumper has too much shame to contact the dumpee, rightfully fearing their wrath.

7-12 Months After the Breakup. The dumper might find a new partner. While with the new partner the dumper will not remember the dumpee. It's only after the new relationship fails that the dumper remembers the dumpee and regrets leaving them. If the dumpee was a good partner, it's possible the dumper might regret dumping them for many years or longer.

I dated my ex for 3 years. In the middle of that we broke up and I found out he was talking to a girl he had met online gaming before we even broke up. Eventually we got back together, but I read messages between them and he was saying things like how she’s his dream girl, he was so in love with her, etc. I looked past that and we moved in together in May. Though that didn’t last long. He ended up just leaving over something dumb in the middle of the night in August, didn’t talk to me in person, couldn’t even talk to me on the phone. Texted me and said he’s moving out. Not even a month later I find out that girl is back in his life and he had probably reconnected with her before he even moved out. Now he’s saying he’s so in love with her, she’s the one that got away, etc. And not sure what happened between them this time, but he seems heartbroken over it. This just feels like a big slap in the face. Has anyone else gone through something similar where your ex seems more heartbroken about the rebound than he did about your breakup?

Is there a respectful way to follow your ex again?

We broke up a while ago and I'm over her now. She and I were just in different points in life and I've come to terms with that. We done everything a typical breakup looks like.

Recently, though, we had a chat and squared things away. However, we still don't follow each other, I know I've healed enough to move on, and she has told me the same. We both figured out we aren't each other's persons through these past 7 tough months.

But is it disrespectful or clingy to follow her on social media again? I just want to be a respectful EX and not sell my healing short.

Since we never discussed if we were to ever follow each other again or go no contact. I'm just confused as to what to do?

Also, if I'm being stupid, please call me out on it, too. I understand the importance of boundaries and making people feel comfortable, and I especially don't want to make my ex feel negative about it since I still respect her and her boundaries.

So is there a decent way to do it, or should I just not do it at all? Thank you.

This is interrupting me, i supposed it wasnt her fault to begin with, so , we sharing a youtube account together, well, she kinda borrow mine, so with youtube premium, i have 3 accounts, one of them is hers (i change them name to hers) and two are mine, so when she broke up with me, i delete hers, in regards that i dont want to see her history of what she watching, a day after the break up went by, she didnt touch either of my account.

Today, i was just watching something on my main account, i was planning on rewatching something and while i was looking at my history,out of nowhere, there’re a list of music like :

1.celine dion - power of love 2.mariah carey - with out you 3.the weeknd - save your tears 4.west live - my love 5.ellie goulding - love me like you do 6.miley cyrus - flowers

And other music with the same vibe (like a i still love you and break up kinda vibe) , and some foreign music that kinda indicates the same vibes as both of them.

The thing is, she dont really listen to this kinda song, she’s more like a woman rap , korean rnb or just a regular pop music in general, so seeing my history full of that is quite suprsing.

My questions, again i might over analyse stuff, what the hell is happening.

A month ago, my relationship ended rather abruptly, and since then, it's been a rollercoaster of emotions. My ex dumped me but kept reaching out sporadically, needing to talk whenever he felt anxious but disappearing whenever I needed him. This pattern was emotionally draining.

Yesterday, after a lot of thought, I sent him a long message pouring out all my feelings and frustrations. It was more for me than for him—I needed to get everything off my chest. After sending it, I saw that he had replied, but instead of reading his message, I decided to delete WhatsApp and restore it from a backup made before his response came through. So, I effectively sent my message but will never know what he said back.

I feel a mix of relief and apprehension about not knowing his reply, but I think this was the best way for me to close that chapter. There were no expectations of him coming back, just a need to express myself and make it clear that his dismissive attitude was hurtful, especially when he expected me to be there for him during his moments of anxiety.

I'm going on a trip in two days and another one shortly after, so I'm focusing on moving forward and healing. This step felt necessary to let go fully and start focusing on myself.

I wanted to share this because there's often advice here suggesting you should never send that text. For me, writing it down and intentionally not seeing the response felt surprisingly liberating.

Hey guys,

looking for some encouragement.

I was with this guy for 5 years and he cheated on me and I left him and when it was over I thought it was a great feeling to be done with someone who could do that to me.

fast forward 1 year I find myself missing him only cause I've been on dates and have messed around but no one fits me as much as I would want them to.

any stories that are similar to mine?

would love to hear different perspectives and success stories.

He says he loves me and cried when talking about how much he loves but says he’s a lonely person and feels depressed and has felt this way his whole life and thinks the way to fix this is to cut his close relationships and focus on his work

He says he still loves me and wants to stay in my love as a best friend but he doesn’t know what the future will hold

I love him so much and we have been through a lot together and I just want to support him through this

We have had trust issues in the past ( no cheating but just lying over small things ) we’ve been open about that since breaking up but I worry he doesn’t feel like there’s hope for us going forward

What’s the best thing I can do to make him feel like he’s safe with me ?

he sent me one last message last week to let me know he was on his last flight overseas and nearly there. i never got a message from him after that. it’s been a week and he still hasn’t reached out. he also didn’t give me his international number so i had to contact him through instagram, jesus fucking christ.

we met through a shared friend and we had spent a month in constant contact, hung out, hooked up, met his family/friends, talked about me visiting him on his trip. everything was perfect until i asked what the situation would be when he leaves for his trip, thinking like hey let’s keep going, maybe be exclusive to each other but nothing crazy yet. he freaked out a bit and told me he couldn’t commit due to the trip length and distance (he was cheated on last time he tried long distance with his ex) and he isn’t sure how long he’d be gone. we agreed we’d stay friends, pretty much what we already were and see how it goes when he gets back if anything does happen.

it just feels like such a hard 180, he went from being so into me to literally pissing off out of the country and not talking to me since? our friend and his brother said they have never seen him how he is with me. he is never like this with girls he likes, he was affectionate infront of his whole family with me. everything on the outside was perfect until i put him in that corner and asked about us romantically. i kind of regret it in a way.

what do i do? i had an emotional moment and blocked him for a few hours, he’s unblocked now.

he sent our shared friend a snapchat video out of the blue 2 days ago, around the time i unblocked him. when just a few days before my friend didn’t even think he had him on snapchat so they obviously don’t talk on there, if at all! did he send him a short video intentionally, knowing it would get back to me since he knows what’s been going down? maybe to get me to chase or am i delulu? i haven’t sent a single message since my one last week checking that his flight went okay. i’m not going to chase this man with messages, i just don’t understand leaving someone like this?

My long distance ex contacted me after 3 months of break up saying that missed and never stopped loving me.

We started talking again and he told me that I’ve grown a lot since then. However, he claimed that he can’t reach my level of growth.

We also talked about maturity since that is what I look for, for my significant other and friends and he started to ghost me saying he’s tired of talking about it or ig any serious topics.

Before he started to ghost me, he believes that my friends are trying to hurt me and that it is his duty to protect me. But I told him that the only person that he should be protecting me from is himself. Especially since he’s the only one capable of hurting me now. Also, none of my friends like him and he doesn’t like any of them either. He even told me, he doesn’t want to deal with them.

Last night, he claimed that he only came back because of the memories and to protect me from my own friends?? He wanted to just be friends as well and honestly, I feel like just cutting contact with him again. Like is he an avoidant? Or like don’t know what he wants or smth? Or am I just too good for him? It’s only been two weeks too. I’m so done ugh.

I have been with this girl for a month officially back in my sophomore year of high school, after that we went on and off for 8 months and we cheated on eachother 3 times, after that I lost feelings for her and she ended up cutting me off, a year later she gets into an accident and I became friends with her again which lasted for a month and a half,I started hanging out with her friends and I ended up dating her ex best friend, this goes for year and a half, by this time I have had already graduated high school and was left with heavy feeling of guilt and depression on some days due to the disrespectful act of dating an ex girlfriends best friend, until I ran into my ex at a gas station and told her my most sincere apologies, she ended up giving me her phone number a little while later and we started hanging out though she does have a boyfriend and their relationship is starting to become hasty, though I enjoy my friendship with her and I enjoy hanging out with her, we talk a lot about personal things like work, school and other people. Though I am a little confused, she has a bf but wants to see me, she likes coming over to my house, lay in my bed be playful around me, I love when she does this but not in a romantic way, I had called her one night since I was bored, she told me if she didn’t have cameras around her house and location sharing, she would definitely go over, and jokingly said that when I get my own place, that she’ll get a key and I complied and said yes mam, I know that may sound disastrous but I have friends and and an fwb, it’s very clear we have an amazing friendship, we’re supposed to go out of town together for some shopping which will be fun and I’ll keep y’all posted for that ;)

just looking for some advice and support, he broke no contact after 9 months and during all that time i wasn’t completely over him. while we still talk constantly it’s just not the same, he drastically changed and i just miss the old him and the memories, like im holding onto nothing. i believed we could get back together but i don’t know what to feel right now.

keep renewing it, i use it too and we got a pretty good deal going

Hi everyone Recently i shared my story with u here long story short i was in a relationship with someone and he ended things with me ….. etc

After 5 months of horrible thinking i decided that i was going to reach out i DID ( dont u ever do that ) i called him but he never answered

From that day on I decided to heal truly and leave everything behind, 15 days later i was looking for a number on my telegram and i saw his number by accident that he unblocked

What is that supposed to mean ! Is this a game ?

Mind you he is my first ever love / relationship So its really hard for me to let go Even though im trying….

I need your help/advice it will mean so much to me

My ex has moved on and is in a new relationship with the most beautiful, gorgeous woman ever. I met him through his sister who I was friends with and this new girl also met him through his sister. I keep stalking them and it loves it he is deeply in love with her and is so so smitten by her.

Also his sisters were extremely interfering in our relationship, and they hated me so did his friends. It use to break my spirit back then. His sister (my friend) also yelled at me once and questioned my feelings for her brother after him and I had a fight. His friends didn't like me either. But this new girl they all seem to be so in love with her and absolutely adore her and so does he. It breaks my already broken heart in to more little peices. I am 3 years older than him and she is of the same age as him. This is all so difficult. I hate myself so being so ugly and unlovable.

I've been thinking od going to his place, crying and fighting w him to take me back. God, No I don't want to do it. I don't want to humiliate myself like that

My ex has been very mentally abusive to me. I guess I really have some self esteem and codependency issues because I just continued to keep dating her.

There were multiple times that I tried to put my foot down, but she would reach out every time, apologize and ask me to take her back, which I did. In all honesty I think I kind of enjoyed having the upper hand, I'm a recovering addict/alcoholic, so I sort of thrive in unhealthy/chaotic relationships.

Anyway, after a few more chances that I shouldn't have given her, it all came crashing down recently. The night before my birthday, instead of spending it with me, she got blackout drunk and I'm like 99.9% sure she cheated on me. She claimed she didn't but she's a compulsive liar.

That was when I finally ended it "for good", but she did manage to weasel me into spending 2 or 3 days (separately) over the past month because she was getting sober and "realized she made a mistake", and that I treated her so well.

Ultimately I had to preserve my dignity so I did not give in or give her another chance to hurt me. I finally went a week of NC, and she messaged me yesterday saying she's just checking on me and wants to make sure I'm okay. She's just as codependent as me (if not more), so the fact that she isn't begging for me back is basically her saying "I've already moved on to a new guy, have a nice life".

Im so stupid for this. I kept playing this game all these months, and ultimately let her hurt me immensely and get the last word. I really think she has NPD or BPD, because she has been so cruel to me and somehow led me to believe I'm at fault.

I just feel so emasculated. I have a rough past and have been through some awful stuff, but I've never let a woman get to me like this. I've always held onto my dignity. All I wanted to do was break up with her when we were together, and now I'm the one sitting here sad feeling like an idiot.

Anyway, thanks for reading. I plan just bought a book on Codependency, and plan to start therapy in the next week or so. If I can overcome drug addiction, I can overcome whatever happened to my self esteem here...

I have held this in my heart, telling my friends it does get easier and I am in a better place. But there are days, like today, where it feels so hard. it pains me to remember the memories we had together. It has only been 3 weeks but it feels so long. I don't know how to really let go when I fell in love with someone.

Had similar problem with previous exes and even that... to be completely honest, I still feel some sort of affection towards him.

I put this no contact because I know my heart can never hate them but its also so hard. My ex from 1 year ago has been through a few relationships after me and I'm happy he is doing alright but I can't help but to think it's so unfair. he cheated yet he is not hurting at all from our break up.

my latest relationship ended before it can even start, this guy "wasnt ready" to date and all. Yet came to me for comfort and I ended up falling in love again. And same old, I have to put no contact with him to protect myself.

But it hurts. It pains me. I'm tired.

No contact... will it get easier? will i ever heal from all this? sometimes I wished I can stop loving people when I can barely love myself.

Ask yourself how you would actually feel if they walked through the door and disturbed your peace right now? I'm adressing this to those of you have done no contact long enough to feel some clarity.

Fine we can miss them. But what would them coming back actually mean??? More pain and suffering. More ambiguity. More indecisiveness.

Don't you feel liberated?