Hi everyone,

It's been almost 3 months since the break up. I was discared. Went straight to NC but tried to ask for closure 2 days after seeing him at a party, he said it's too soon. This was 2 weeks ago.

I'm feeling so lost and i can only think about the good aspects of our relationship. Eventhough the bad was there: he's a fearful avoidant, love bombing, push and pull, running away during arguments, lying about drug use, crying during confrontation, breaking my heart and getting back together but treating me like shit,... But still my love and the deep connection i felt for him overpower all of these things.

I miss him so much and it feels like i also lost my best friend. I don't know what to do with all of these feelings. I can't get out of bed or do the things that i'm supposed to do. It's consuming me. I want to just have closure and yes i know, this whole situation should be my closure but the fact that i can't reach out kills me.

I would like to text him and ask to just leave our relationship on a better note. My brain can't understand how this person can go from loving me so much, being so obsessed with me to looking like not caring at all and to be just over me. Like nothing happened.

I can't believe it and i'm feeling so so very lost. I just want to know he's hurting as well. And i just want him to come back to me.

I didn't leave him specifically because he was a sex addict. I left him because he was a flaky liar. He always said he'd come over and we'd do stuff.

Last night I was coming home from my Mom's house (my mom had been in the hospital.) He told me earlier that he'd come for a visit. During the drive home, he decided that he didn't feel like coming over.

I broke up with him, and his toxic ass decided that he'd wait in front of my house because he "loved" me. No thank you. I am done. I called the neighbor to come over and my coward asshole boyfriend left. Anyway, I want to be done with this. This was one of the worst relationships of my life.

Or atleast my posts.

She's too busy doing her own sh1t to spare a few minutes for me..

That should show me that she isnt the person i thought she was.

And she really never cared

So maybe just maybe, nothing il mention...

If she thought i would not have a parting gift up my sleave for leaving things like this, i think she will be rudely shocked....

Atleast il know 1 exact reason to hate me & i wont even think about her again.. Fml...

“You will always mean so so much to me :) thank you for caring about me the way you do. I’m so lucky to have had that in my life, and I will always want the same for you. Whatever happens will be part of our journey through this world, but at least I can look back at our time together and see nothing but love and two best friends enjoying endless adventures and a tiny room.

I truly appreciate the person you are, and there is no one as kind or as caring as you in this world, and I know sometimes I forgot that, but I hope you know when I look back I only see your happiness and endless devotion, and countless memories of trips you planned, and all the heartfelt effort you poured into us. I will never forget a single one of them. Because I see them in the songs I hear and in the random moments that pop into my head. I’ll cherish them forever regardless.

Honestly, thank you so so so so much for everything, I will always value you higher than all, and will never stop singing your praises x”

Since this message he has liked my latest IG post and liked a photo I put up on my IG story (of myself).

I can’t stop hurting myself by reading the nice things he said to me. The pain is too much to bear. I miss him so much.

As the title says he doesn't want me anymore like at all, he said he wouldn't really care if i died, he blocked me everywhere even my fake accounts he really doesn't want to see me talk to me or hear about me again even tho he always said that he would love me forever and won't love anyone as much as he loves me (he said that after the breakup) but now it's like a month or less since the breakup and everything changed he's a whole different person, he said and did everything that'd make me hate him and when i remember everything he did i get mad i get sad i feel hate but it's all temporary all i end up with is love and i want to deal with that, i know it won't work i begged for it i tried everything to make the relationship work but he didn't want it anyways. I manged to get over my attachment to him as i used to almost attempt unaliving myself whenever we break up (we broke up multiple times but they wouldn't last long) and the first few weeks. So I'm doing much better now but i just hate everything that i let happen to me and the fact that he treats me like that now and the fact that he's living to the fullest while i still can't fully get over him ps. We were close friends and I loved him first but wouldn't say till he confessed to love me all of a sudden which wasn't expected at all cuz he was clear about liking me as a friend and would hook up all the time and tell me about. So please enlighten me guys i need support

Even asking this feels dumb but here’s the context. I don’t want to text him from my number or even say it’s me. I was thinking about texting him like I’m a random scammer trying to get his information just to see if he will reply. I also thought about just saying happy thanksgiving and sending him a link to a graphic novel he never finished and never replying. I don’t even know what I want. Maybe just to confirm he still exists. Thoughts?

Hadn’t talked to her for 3 months and was finally starting to forget all about it and now I’m here again.

I thought I was stronger than this. She hit me up out of nowhere and 2 hours later I’m at her house. Fast forward three days and can barely get a text. Someone talk some sense into me

We broke up 5 months ago, after a while I was doing better, I would still remember him sometimes but overall I was moving on. I started seeing someone else, who I really started to like but now that me and this new guy started meeting more often, and talking everyday, my ex suddenly started hunting my thoughts again. For the last 2 weeks I have been seeing him in my dreams EVERY DAY. I don't know what's going on and why is it happening all of a sudden. Now even my feelings for the new guy are being affected and I don't want to end up hurting him. What's for sure is that I would never reach out to my ex, and I have his number blocked but me constantly living with his ghost is bothering me.

My avoidant ex broke up with me back in April. He watched every instagram story I posted. A few weeks ago, I posted a story of me riding on the back of a motorcycle with a male friend. My ex looked at the story and then an hour later, unfollowed me on all social media. He was the one who broke up with me, absolutely devastated me and turned my world upside down. I lost 10 lbs, had to go on anti depressants and seek therapy. I’m assuming he’s butthurt that I was out with a guy friend? What right does he have to be upset? Did he still care about me?

My opinion of you as a person has changed so much it's insane. You've treated me so terribly and unfortunately I just sat there and tried to understand that you were going through things. The porn thing was so freaking small. I've told people about the situation including a therapist and they say that you obviously don't have self love for yourself. Which I always say wasn't your fault. I get it. You were not ready to date me back in January. What happened to you was so fucked and should never happen to anyone.

In the end I got fucked because you weren't ready. You used me as a scapegoat for your insecurities. I put so much time and effort to show how much I cared for you. Then post breakup I was obviously fucked up about losing you. Then you time and time again you proved what kinda person you are by intentionally hurting my feelings on multiple occasions. I'm so glad we broke up. Thank god! I don't miss you as a person. You treated me terribly and devalued every effort I did to show I loved you. Because you were blinded by your insecurities. I miss the idea of a relationship, not you. I never ever want to see you again. So don't think I miss you. I'm done not defending myself. Why would I put myself in a relationship with someone who doesn't appreciate me? Who says the countless hours I spent with them isn't enough. That I did the bare minimum. That I should have held the door open more and or bought more flowers. Like wtf are you going on about. Lady I fucking neglected my other relationships to hangout with you. My time wasn't enough for you. So thank god I don't have to waste it on you anymore.

And again yesterday you proved what a terrible, spiteful, and heartless person you are. I literally say "Hey, how are you?" And you reply with a rude comment basically saying I'm a detriment to your life. Like wtf. Who responds like that. I didn't say anything to hurt you. Literally how you're doing. And again you took the chance to try and hurt my feelings.

I don't need to be enough for you. I don't want you. The person you are is not someone I would ever want to spend my life with. Thank you for opening my eyes to who you really are and good luck in future relationships. I feel bad for whoever has to date someone who doesn't know how to be a good person.

Oh and just so you know. I never once looked at other women. That was you being insecure. The Instagram thing also I never looked at other women on Instagram. That was you being insecure again. The fact I took you out for ice cream, French food and gondola ride, an awesome fucking date and you still found a way to be insecure is impressive. You were a fucking nightmare to date, because you could never accept love at face value.

Also after you broke up with me you dragged me fucking along and then blamed me for wanting to show love. Like fuck you to the moon and back. Not respecting space was wrong I get that but you were down right rude to me and treated me like shit. Fuck that noise.

And if you think for one second us breaking up slowed me down. It didn't. I fucking finished my degree, promoted to staff sergeant, got my EMT and will be taking a position in the fire department in the spring.

I'm going to thrive without you. I'm going to help people and make the world better than I left it. Do everything I can to be the best I can be. I just can't believe I let you fool me into believing you actually loved me. I should have never dated someone as young as you. What a mistake. You barely have your life together and don't know Jack shit. You live with your parents and are a super privileged, entitled nightmare. You haven't experienced being an adult. The world owes you nothing, because you've done nothing with your life. So I hope your feelings hurt, because you obviously never cared about hurting mine. I would have loved you til death, but now I'll hate you to the grave for how you find it okay to demean people. Not just me by the way. You find it okay to demean your own family. Like that's fucked up. The way you described your mother to me is messed up. FYI you act the way you described her. You may think you're a good person but you're not. You fucking hit me, I ignored that and demeaned me time and time again. Not someone I would ever want as partner or mother to my children. Who knows how you would treat them. Thank god I found out early. Good on you for saving me the pain in the long run. Thank fucking God! Bye forever and good fucking riddance.

I realised that conceptualizing this as "no contact" is just keeping me stuck. For me, I don't think that I'm in no contact, I'm just getting on with my life without her in it.

Thanks everyone for the amazing support and I wish you all the best on your journeys. To healing and growth 🥂

Today is a year since break up. I don't know how I feel... I guess I started looking into the future when I found out she was seeing a new guy (a few weeks ago), even though she said she wasn't interested in a relationship in general... I'm really glad that despite the pain they caused me, I was able to come out a better person. I didn't break anyone's heart, I didn't hurt, I didn't offend, I didn't call names, but I continued to love... Despite this pain, I showed care and support. Maybe if I had realized earlier that she blindsided me, I would have started to heal earlier. But I don't regret anything, except that this relationship ended, but it was not my choice, and I did the best I could.

Well, how about you, my friends? How are you?)

Stay strong and kind no matter what ❤️. Love you ❤️

He breaks up with me due to circumstances with long distance (hurts but I eventually understood). Says he’s preserving the friendship etc (tbf we weren’t together for long). I proceed to go no contact, and eventually come back after a month. He says he misses me and still has feelings yada yada but we can’t be together. Lots of flirting proceeds. Eventually I tell him to back off and he does. Starts bringing up other girls to me. Then he says he loves me as a friend. He posts that he loves me on his social media?? As a friend? Calls me affectionate names still.

I guess my question is am I getting breadcrumbed here? He said sometimes in general he feels in love and other times he doesn’t. What is going on😭

Me and my ex broke up 3 days ago on really bad terms. I got blocked on everything right after.

what’s your experience with exes coming back after no contact? And do you think he’ll come back now when we ended on bad terms?

Just received this from my ex girlfriend, broke up 18 months ago and she recently split with her partner and can’t stop reaching out lol, someone tell me what this means cryo

Yeah that must be really confusing I’m sorry. I’ll be honest, I just know that when I’m out, that you’re probably out too so mostly I use Snapchat to find out if you are out. And I think sometimes I just want to see you. Not in a way that I like you again like I used to. And honestly I don’t know why and I don’t want to confuse you more than I already have. But yeah I kinda just want to see you even if it’s just saying hi or a smile and wave. I’m sorry for adding ur friends, I never mean to annoy you or make u mad, I’m just trying to joke around, but I completely understand that it is annoying so I’m really sorry I’ll stop. I’m sorry for being so confusing but that’s literally it I guess. I understand that u probably just want me to leave you alone, so you can enjoy ur night with your friends, so I’ll stop. I’m sorry, I know it’s kinda stupid but I hope this at leasts explains something for you

so basically when I’m out, I just know that there’s are good chance u are too and I kinda wanna run into u, hence the snap chatting to sus out where u are

Please someone remind me why I should not break NC. I've done well and going 5months NC. But I broke and checked their social media and it broke me seeing how they continue to be successful and progress in their life in general. And now I'm being haunted with the memories and wanted to reach out. Please someone stop me :'( This person abandoned and left me to suffer and die. They want me to die and I don't want to give them anymore pleasure of them knowing my pain. But my brain is latching on to all the fake good memories since I checked their social media.

Hi everyone, is months ago that i abandoned this sub but today i want to write about my ex. I discoverd last week that she is totally acting like a 20 years old classic bitch (after 5 years of relationship) You can't imagine how painful was to know she is being so bad and ruining her image. But at the same time i feel so much relief. Now for sure i can say i don't want to stay with a person like this, i can finally let her go, finally i can feel she was nothing special. I know now she wasn't the one and i don't need to downgrade myself to stay with a person like she is. I will found someone who is way more mature.

My usual daily reminder that if you need someone to listen, or you want to talk, or vent, or just chat about anything to take your mind off things, to reach out and DM me. I'm happy to listen, and to help you make sense of your pain.

We broke up at the beginning of this year, my contact ended. My last attemps was in April Me asking if we would talk to make things normal at work.

"She was already trying to make things normal!"

She didn't ask me in May, when I had my septum surgery, how I felt. For some time now she has been coming to our office upstairs more often, something has changed in her behavior. A month ago she tried to talk to the group and not run away if I was standing there. She has changed completely. In my trip report, she looked through all the photos to find something, probably someone I was with.

Today I tried to shake her hand but we passed each other, as sometimes happens when your hands are busy, no big deal, and she wrote on massenger. First message since February.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so rude to you I've been feeling bad lately"

She apologizes for not shaking my hand and she didn't care about me when I was in the hospital. People are funny.

It’s December and new year is getting close and I already know where my brother gonna celebrate new year. My brother is "basically" on a talking stage with a girl who’s friend with a girl I used to had a huge crush on, gave me such a trauma bond such as being hot n cold, small sentences of respond, leading me on and make bunch of excuses over why we cannot hangout. Last year when he told me to pick him up from her place I felt anxious, difficult breathing and almost wanted to vomit.

I’m considering asking people I used to had connection with from high school who live few hours away to avoid that to happen. I sort of wanted to celebrate new year with a friend I made from the states or my family down in the Philippines, but I know this year won’t happen.

We broke up early this year. We had our first major argument a few months prior to it and things were never the same afterward even though we talked about it and I thought things were solved. He began distancing himself and made less effort, but every time I asked if things were okay, he said there was nothing wrong. After weeks of feeling like an afterthought, getting flaked out on, and disrespected, I had enough and confronted him. We broke up a few days later. He said he stopped caring about me, stopped loving me, and that I was too emotional for him and he couldn't handle me anymore. He waited for me to threaten to walk out the door before finally getting the balls to break up with me before I could do it first.

A month later, he asked how I was doing. I never answered.

And now almost 9 months later, he reached out again and said he was grateful for my friendship even though things didn't work out between us.

I thought I was doing okay. I've done so much in this time period that he's been gone. I thought I was so much happier without him. So why does it feel like I'm going through the break up all over again? I feel devastated. I know this is bound to pass but damn if it doesn't hurt like it did the first time.

We broke up 3 months ago. Mutually and it wasn’t a bad breakup. Kept in touch here and there until he ghosted me two weeks ago. It really hurt and I sent a couple texts to make sure he was ok. He ignored them. This morning I used a different platform and basically called him out on ghosting, told him it hurt me and I’d like to meet for closure. He then responds to my previous texts on the other platform and says he’s sorry he hasn’t been talking he’s been crazy busy at work (military so I believe him). I replied and just said ok and I’ll put his stuff aside for him. He’s now asking how I am and making conversation.

I feel so lost.

I broke up with my ex definitely around six months ago. She is still trying to reach out from time to time.

Last night she called me if I wanted to come for coffee. I did everything to make that not happen succesfully.

What I absolutely don't understand is why is she trying to reach out. We have been on and off for 2 years. I will put aside any personal experience any disputes between us and try to look at this rationally.

She knows me I know her. She is not willing to change and I am also not willing to change if she won't. We are not compatible. After a while together we begin to hate each other because our expectations are different. We are both unhappy with the other person for various reasons.

Why the hell does she pursue relationship or contact with me when she knows it is going to end badly?

I was thinking she wants to hookup. But it always ends in some relationship status and we are back by not being happy. I offered clean FWB but she didn't like the idea.

Wtf is her thought process? Does any of you have any idea what is going on?

My ex and I broke up after a toxic relationship where we were both at fault, but things ended for good when she cheated on me. She’s now in a new relationship, and I’ve been focusing on healing and moving on.

We got dogs together when we were still a couple, but after the breakup, I had to let go of them for my own mental health. It hurt, but I couldn’t keep holding onto that connection.

The thing is, she keeps reaching out to ask me for favors related to the dogs, like taking them to get their nails cut. I don’t understand why. She knows we’re not together anymore, and she has someone else in her life now.

I’ve been trying to maintain no contact to heal and move on completely. Why do you think she keeps reaching out about the dogs? Is there some deeper reason, or is it just about convenience? I’m genuinely puzzled and would love some outside perspectives.

Hi everyone, I just want to say that if you’re going through a rough time getting over your ex just remember one thing - karma is undefeated. My ex is still as negative as ever before and it doesn’t matter who she dates I doubt she will ever change her ways.

Me on the other hand, i took a lot of accountability for our failed relationship and decided to do some self growth and reflecting - i learned some new skills and developed some new hobbies. She did nothing of the sort. So, all I’m saying is take accountability for your part in your breakup because that will make you grow into a new and improved version of yourself. Do not finger point and blame anyone but yourself for your mistakes. That’ll only keep you stagnant.

Lastly always remember that time heals all wounds but wounds don’t heal if you pick at them. Have a blessed day.

Hi everyone,

It's been 4.5 months of NC with a guy today. Actually, he's not an ex, I had feelings for him but he didn't want to date me. Nevertheless, we used to talk almost everyday, he would tell me a lot of things about his life.

Anyway, I went NC when things slightly got bad between us. I never replied to his last message. We never argued but I knew that we would have if we still talked.

For these 4 months, I still think about him every hour. I was sad but still fine. But over the last 3 days, I don't know why, I feel depressed. And I feel very tired. Mabye it's because I don't sleep well. I don't know.

I want to reach out but what's the point? And I have some self respect. I just don't know what to do.

Im so tempted to message him ugh. We used to talk everyday for past 2 year and 7 months. I’m really not used to talking to him.

Never thought this day would come, but it did.

So Thursday was a very special day for me. My childhood club was coming to play against our local club so me and my 29 weeks pregnant girlfriend planned months ago to go watch this together.

Once in the stadium we had too walk a couple minutes for our seats and whilst we were doing this i felt someone staring into my soul on my right side. First i didn't give into it but a couple steps later i looked back and saw my ex still looking at me along with the crazy ex MIL and Step FIL.

For a couple seconds we locked eye contact and i didn't wanted too disrespect my girlfriend so i looked away and continued walking towards our seat.

Unfortunately my childhood club lost the game and my girlfriend was happy since her childhood club won the game so she was all giggly and very happy and was constantly hugging and kissing me on our way back to the exit of the stadium.

There she was watching how my girlfriend did all of those things to me. I never told my girlfriend (soon to be my wife / mother of my baby) that my ex was sitting there and was watching us.

Once home i was scrolling on facebook and opened my messenger and saw that i had a notification in the ''spam'' category. I opened it and saw that my ex actually had sent me a message during the first half of the game.

Basically my ex saw my girlfriends belly and was congratulating me and that she had wished things had turned out differently (she discarded me after 6 years and replaced me in the span of 2 weeks). She also wrote in the message that i aged like fine wine and that i still was looking as good as in our first years and wished me the best.

I opened the message, read it and decided not too message back or whatsoever. Because sincerely, there's no point in doing so. After all she was the main reason i had my worst 2 years in my life back when she pulled the discard card on me.

So today i got a friend request from her. Didn't accepted it and blocked her.

I actually wanted to thank her for leaving me in the worst way possible, because if she hadn't done that i would've never meet my amazing, awesome, supportive, loving , stunning girlfriend / wife and soon to be the mommy of my first ever baby. But i didn't wanted to hurt her & blocked.