Ok I will not tell you

For context. I had just moved to London, I was mentally not doing great and was living in this woman’s basement as that’s all I could afford.

I was invited to a boat race drinks/picnic in my first few weeks of living there and thought a cheap box of shit rose was the best option for my bank and just convince.

I picked this box and went to the self checkout and for some reason it wasn’t scanning. And usually I would ask someone to help and get it sorted. But in my hazy memory, no one was there to sort it and I still have no idea why but I just picked up the box and left the store with it in hand. I remember walking to the door thinking “what am I doing, this is so stupid and I don’t have any excuse if this goes south” but … surprisingly no alarms went off and as soon I left the store I realised I probably needed to power walk away in case it was a delayed response. I never got caught or reprimanded and I’m still so dumbfounded by this. I have never done something like this specifically (I did steal a few eyeliners in my teenage years and put 80p reduced stickers on meat when I was struggling at uni) but never have I just picked up something so big and walked out the store.

I’m a bit more comfortable now so don’t steal silly things anymore but understand why people do. But I still wonder what the hell I was on and why I snapped at that point. I haven’t told anyone because of how bizarre and stupid it is (wine is not an essential need at the end of the day) but I do put my mental health declining very rapidly as a big factor but also worried if I decline again I might walk out of a store with something even more random if I could.

this has been something I've kept for a LONG time without telling anyone - but since it doesn't matter now, I may as well tell someone. Using a throwaway account 🫶

I used to be incredibly active on the site Quotev, before it's downfall. I started off small, as myself, and loved it. I made a few friends, gained a decent following, I was happy. Then something changed, around when I really started to hit puberty. I'm not sure what, or how, or why, but I wasn't comfortable with my identity anymore. I'm a cis female - and I didn't want to be. I started getting intense gender dysphoria - I hated wearing "female" clothing, hated how my body changed, couldn't even bear to look in the mirror. I started hating my quotev account too - I didn't feel like I could speak to any of my friends about this, let alone my parents or friends in real life.

So i deleted my account without a word, and made another, completely reinventing my identity. The only thing that was truthful about my identity was my age. I became known as Nick, a bisexual cis man who lived alone with his father. I made an incredibly good friend here - she and her family where Muslims, and she was bisexual. she didn't like her identity, she was struggling, just like I was. I never told her my true self, but we become very close, supporting each other I've never seen before. I fell in love with tøp (the band) because of her. I took this identity pretty seriously - I fabricated a boyfriend, a russian man called Sev, I faked my father dying (though it mirrored real life events with a different family member). Then my parents found the account, and they forced me to leave it. It's not deleted - it's still there. I don't know the password. I couldn't say anything to my friend, I just had to leave her. I don't know her contact details to this day.

Then after a few months, I was back on quotev. My parents had troubles between themselves, and couldn't monitor my internet usage anymore. This time I was a gay British boy called Samuel. This was the identity I resonated with the most. I met a roleplay account with multiple people using it on Quotev through this identity, which set off my love of roleplay, and began getting very familiar with one of the people. He was great at first - then he ended up grooming me into a relationship (he was much older than I was). Eventually he went off-line and rarely come on, so I was able to move on - I changed accounts, but kept this identity.

Then I met him. Kaii, a troubled man in the US who said he originated from France. We hit it off very quickly - I made him feel wanted and heard, he made me feel seen and appreciated. We quickly fell into an online relationship, and stayed in one for years without ever even seeing each other. I felt an incredibly deep connection with him, part of what I think made me resonate so deeply with my identity as Sam. I fabricated an entire life, lore, everything. And I absolutely adored Kaii. He was everything to me, my entire world. He made every part of my day better.

As I really started to get to know Kaii, I became very popular on quotev. It's a silly thing to say there, since we don't like categorising people to popular or not popular - it is just a quiz site after all. But I was popular. There's much more story and lore here that I'll leave out because it would be too long to tell (me and kaii had multiple relationship issues, I dated two other people on quotev, I had a poly relationship at some point ect)

Because I became popular, everything I did was scrutinised. Kaii did and said some things that didn't sit well with others - many people informed me that I was being groomed by him, ect, and he was deleted. My entire world shattered after that, for a long while. I never heard from him again - it was about a year or so before quotev went downhill.

I continued to use quotev as Samuel, or Sha (I changed my name multiple times, while keeping the same identity). So much more happened. But the basic idea is that I lied about who I was for a very long time. Any quotevers reading this might have known me as user @wallaby, @ludacris, @carnivale and SO many more urls.

This is my lengthy and sloppily written confession.

He said he wanted to take the rest of his dinner home to his dog. He went on & on about his dog, said he felt bad that he’d been so busy, and wanted to take something special for her. I went to the back, sat my tray down, and turned around to grab a box. When I had my head turned, the dishwasher (trying to be helpful) had dumped the contents of the plate into a big trash can that we dumped all the leftover food in. I didn’t want the dog to be disappointed, & figured the dog wouldn’t care, so I picked the food items out of the trash & put it in a box. On his way out, I heard him say, ‘This was so good, I think I’m going to eat it myself, so we need to stop and get the dog a cheeseburger on the way home’. 🫢

Many years ago, I was made redundant from my job. I'd been there several years and it was my first proper job. I'd managed to scrape together every penny in those years to put a deposit down on a small apartment. It wasn't much, but it was mine. So the loss of work put my world under immense stress. Obviously, I had a few years of experience so I diligently went about networking, looking for roles, writing custom CVs and cover letters, visiting companies and recruiters, and generally working my ass off to find a new position.

My hard work resulted in the odd interview, but nothing came of them. As the weeks and months passed, the worry was hard to bear. I could probably ask friends or family for some money to cover the monthly mortgage payments but I wanted to be independent so I worked harder than ever in my search for a new position.

I can't remember whether it was through calling him off-hand, or whether it was because of a specific job posting, but I happened to get in touch with a recruiter. Let's call him Sam. I remember having a wonderful, hopeful, optimistic conversation with him. Finally, someone who listened to me and understood the value in my experience, my drive, and that I absolutely could be a great asset for the right company! We spoke about a particular role - it was perfect for me. My experience matched the role, and the role was what I was looking for. I went about sending a custom CV and cover letter, created through forensic research on the company. I was a shoe-in for an interview.

Days passed. I sent a follow-up to Sam. Nothing too desperate. "Just checking in. I'm really keen on the role, so wanted to let you know I'm still available". More days passed. I'd called and left voicemails for him. I'd called the recruiters office and was told he was busy. A couple of further e-mails. Radio silence. It was hard enough feeling like the perfect job was slipping away, especially when I wasn't getting traction with any other roles. But it was worse feeling completely ghosted. If I wasn't right for the role, or if I was too late, or the company had changed their mind, or any number of possible, completely reasonable, circumstances could have occurred, and I would have been fine with it. But not hearing back at all... It just sucked. Don't get me wrong, I'd had hundreds of circumstances of not hearing back on a job, but this guy just rubbed me up the wrong way. That first conversation I had with him changed its feeling in my mind. Now, I just felt used and manipulated.

But, like many things, I calmed down and let it go. Time passed and before long I forget about it. At some point over the next few weeks, I did get a new job, and life just sort of continued.

Years and years passed. Then, last week, I get a call. I had obviously saved Sam's number all those years ago, because it came up on my phone. Obviously, I was a little shocked that I had actually kept his number, but also that he was calling me. Obviously, he's not calling me about that role, so what could it be?

I decided to answer.

After exchanging pleasantries, he informed me that we'd been in touch many years ago, and perhaps I remembered him? I casually answered that his name rings a bell, but that's about it. In my mind, I was executing a series of well-placed haymakers upon his face, but my voice remained calm.

Since the years of that first encounter, I had progressed in my career. Now, I was a department manager, with an open position on my team for which I was in the process of recruiting for. It turns out that Sam was actually looking for an opportunity to act as a recruitment partner for me, and ultimately, the company I work for. It didn't surprise me that after all these years, Sam was once again looking to use me to get what he needed. That's business after all, I reminded myself.

I politely informed him that the company has a preferred list of recruitment partners so it may not work out, but for some reason I accepted his offer of sending an e-mail with his credentials, and that I'd consider sharing it with the relevant HR personnel. The call ended and I carried on with my morning.

Within an hour, I'd received the e-mail from Sam. It was polished and professional. Multiple documents pertaining to the agency credentials, experience and value. Tailored to meet my company's needs. It reminded me of my e-mail to him all those years ago. Perhaps he was desperate for business? Perhaps he really needed to hit his numbers? Perhaps he was scraping his network to find anything, anyone that might be able to help?

I didn't respond to his e-mail, nor did I share with the HR team.

A couple of days passed. He e-mailed a quick check-in: "Hey. Did you manage to get a name for me so I reach out directly to your HR team?". I didn't respond.

Then I got a call from Sam. I answered and informed him, that yes, I did actually forward his e-mail. There is a lady, let's call her Carmen, who is interested in having a chat. Oh, she didn't reach out? Let me follow-up for you.

I went about my day, certainly without bothering Carmen. And as I approached the end of the week, I got a call from Sam again, and I gave him the great news that Carmen will be in touch with him next week! He was so relieved and excited to hear that. What a great way to head into the weekend, he stated.

And here we are, on the weekend.

It might be Monday or Tuesday that he'll be in touch again. Surely, he won't wait until Wednesday.

My intention is waste this guy's time and string him along more.

I know it's childish. I know it's unprofessional. But for some reason, I just don't like this guy and I'm going to keep this going until he figures it out. I'm not usually a petty person, but I just don't like him, so that's what I'm going to do.

Looking forward to the week ahead. :-)

Sophmore year at Lakeland High School.

Two brothers worked for the school. One was in ISS (in school suspension) and one was a business teacher. My friend Jess would get in trouble and get sent to ISS. Well, it ends up that the ISS teacher was texting her asking about has she ever had an orgasm. Flash forward like 3 weeks, Im in businesd class and put his brother on the spot about it.

He got enraged and told me to never come back to his class and he'd give me an A.

I skipped his class all semester. I would sit against a brick wall with my legs under a small shed. Shit was crazy. Admin would drive up on golf carts to get items out of the storage shed.... id just be hiding in a narrow gap and they had no idea for mths

======

Looking back, i wish i wouldve reported it. She showed me the text messages and all

My family went on a trip yesterday, and I have 5 younger siblings, so we needed 2 hotel rooms. I was bunked with 2 younger siblings, while my parents and the others slept in room #2

I was still on my phone around 3 AM, when I heard some commotion in the hallway directly outside our room. A few people were arguing, but it was muffled, I couldn't gague anything. Eventually I got up so I could call the front desk about it, but then I felt it

My eyes and nose were suddenly under attack. There was no scent, just pain. I woke up my siblings and told them we needed to run, to the emergency exit for safe air. Halfway there though, I had a scary thought, what if the rest of my family is asleep in room #2? I don't know what this chemical is, what if its capable of killing somebody without waking them up?

So I ran back, pounded on their door, and took off for the emergency exit. I waited in the cold with my younger siblings, trying to breathe it out, but I got scared, cause the rest of my family took a long time to escape. It turns out they were awake and heard the commition outside. Then when they heard me pound on their door, they thought I was the attackers. They shouted whos there, but I didn't hear it, because I ran away to try and escape the chemical

Because of me, my family was trapped in there for nearly a minute, including my 3 year old sister, whos probably traumatized. We think that it was bear spray (basically a pepper spray grenade), meaning there won't be any permanent damage to us, but it was still agony at the time

Why did I have to pound on that door, my panicking caused so much more pain than necessary, and probably traumatized my sister. Evacutating my little siblings was so scary, I wish I knew the chemical wasn't lethal. Trying to comfort my baby sister was so hard, she was shaking so much she thought she was cold. But she was warm to the touch, she just didn't know how to process how scared she was

EDIT: thank you, everyone. i was expecting some poeple to tell me i did my best, and other people to be mad at me for putting my family in so much danger. the nice things you've said, and the fact that every single person seems to agree i did okay, is giving me a lot of comfort. im still not doing great overall, but you are making this guilt a lot more bareable

It was in 1st grade, and this kid had gotten a munna figure and was keeping it in his desk (it was pretty common for us to bring little figurines to school). I was extremely jealous that he had something with pokemon and one one day while the classroom was empty I noticed he had left it on top of his desk. I swiped it and took it home with me.

When I showed it off to my family I lied and said I found it on the bus. Either the kid didn't make a big deal out of it or the teacher didn't care because it was never brought up in class.

It's been years but I want to apologize to the poor kid that got his munna stolen.

I consider my self a calm calculated stoic person.life was going fine and there seems to possibility of it getting even better, but outoff stodden i started acting very out of character.The stress of one problem caused me to fine some relief and that created further problems.Then after hitting complete rock bottom and feeling most down I ever felt, i got back on my senses after about 2 months of this horror.(after this complete stright downfall)

but the way i acted and the things i did lead to permanent damage on some of my friendship, my reputation.there seems to be no way now to normalise them.I tried desperately for a forgiveness, but may be i have crossed the line.after about 1 and half months I still trying contained the damages done during that period.the damages on money (waste a lot of money) and health, got out of track from self progress and only was able to do my work half heartedly.Still the thing that stings me badly is the friends that i have lost.they were really nice and kind to me and i have let them down.

One thing that still amazes me, that non of the problems blowed up massively.They have caused me lot of pain ,mental stress and even first time contemplating the idea of ending myself.But thank fully things has not gone as bad as they could have been.but one paranoia that i got now is may be today this how of card will collapse. I haven't shared this problem with anyone (even my friend ask me what happened you seems to be changed) because of the shame.

The things i learnt from this experience

• i am more resilient than i ever imagined.
• even when shit went all over, i was able to keep calm and short problems logically.
• its impossible to get a respect back in somes eye, so protect it.
• impulsive thoughts are bad.
• some amount fear (should i do this,what if this has bad consequences) is a good thing.

* you always need some fail safes. that should includes financial backups/savings.and similar things in ober area's of life would also be useful.the basis idea is you should be able to stop your downfall or atleast slow it as early as possible.

* fragility of our lives. I mean that in health, social, financial sense.this glassed life can someday suddenly broke by some unknown rock.

I seriously need some advice or just basic guideline so I can take the path to better my life. Yes I'm not working at 27. I have nothing going on in my life. I seem to live in victimization and depression I guess. Like anxiety fear shame doubts are just few things to name that is been contributing factor. Deep down all I want to really do is I guess go to college get some education so that way I'm able to secure stable job and pay, also get a side job and overcome fear of driving so I can be fully independent on my own. I can go campus or even at a job. Because the place I live has no city transportation services. And me being scared to learn driving has hindered stunt growth limiting job opportunities and I also at same time don't have skills and networks to get a better job. I'm sick and tired of working this low end jobs in retail and fast food. I already worked those because it was near my area and they didn't require any experience so I was lucky enough to get it. But even with that I only worked couple of months. I just couldn't handle the shame and insecurities it came with. My family and outsiders always have something negative to say. Even the job I worked in fast food, they judged me saying your young. You could do alot better than this. Then I worked in retail overnight and I was told you have no life. Here you are working labor job meanwhile your cousins are making $60k yearly fresh grads. And I'm constantly feeling demovated because I can't fulfill their demands. Sorry I'm not the bright smart capable kid you thought in your mind. I'm struggling as I have no guidance. I have no friends. I'm literally living in my home for last 3 yrs doing nothing. I even gave up community college because sighs I don't know really what to study. Now I just feel like getting a certificate or 2 yr degree.

Nouvelle utilisatrice de Reddit, je lance cette bouteille à la mer pour recevoir vos conseils.

Je suis hypocondriaque. Je ne suis pas diagnostiquée, mais j'ai tout les symptômes et ça me gâche la vie. En même temps, je n'ai pas l'impression que mes inquiétudes et mon comportement soient complètement irrationnels vu le monde dans lequel nous vivons.

Pour ce qui est de mes symptômes, j'ai évidemment le classique s'imaginer un cancer du poumon dès que je tousse, un cancer du cerveau dès que j'ai mal au crâne, et ainsi de suite. Mais ce qui me gâche le plus la vie, c'est que j'ai peur d'absolument tout ce qui m'entoure. Je vis dans une ville polluée, donc j'ai constamment peur d'avoir une infection des poumons. J'ai cuisiné pendant un petit moment dans des poêles PFOA et avec des ustensiles en plastique, donc j'ai peur d'être empoisonnée. J'ai eu des moisissures dans mon appartement, donc j'ai peur d'avoir une fibrose.

Je fais des crises tellement intenses que je me prépare souvent psychologiquement à ce que le médecin m'annonce que je vais mourir, je me demande comment je vais l'annoncer à mes proches, etc etc.

Vous allez sûrement me conseiller d'aller voir un.e psy, mais le problème est que je n'en ai pas les moyens. De plus, j'ai souvent besoin de "rassurage" immédiat, et je ne pourrai évidemment pas appeler la psy à 3h du matin quand je serai en pleine crise. En plus, je sais exactement d'où me vient cette psychose. (négligence médicale de la part de mes parents dans l'enfance, si bien qu'à l'âge adulte j'ai dû moi-même rattraper d'un coup tous mes vaccins, aller chez le dentiste pour la première fois en 15 ans, etc.)

J'imagine que vous ne pourrez pas faire grand chose pour moi, mais si vous avez quelques mots rassurants, je prends.

Ok, so my phone is exploding, part 2 as requested. First for everyone saying it’s a fake story, it’s not lol. It happened in the 90’s. I can’t post in /sluttyconfessions because I didn’t follow the “rules” and got kicked.

Part 2

After being pushed and laid on my back on the bed, her name is Cheryl, started trying unbuckle my belt. I remember her struggling with it and me nervous as hell. I helped undo it, and she zipped down my jeans and starts sucking me. I honestly remember this being the best bj I have ever gotten in my life. Probably because she was like 40 and had lots of experience lol.

I was hard quickly and she removed her bottoms and sat on me. Keep in mind not one word was spoken during this time. She rode me slow at first then rough with the rocking.

I know I didn’t last long, but It was the onsite extreme sex I ever had up to that point in life. When I started to cum in her, she knew and pushed all her weigh down on me when I was cumming.

When we were finished she got up put her pants back on, then told me to be quiet and took me the couch to sleep lol.

I didn’t sleep much that night but in the morning I had a friend pick me up. I didn’t speak of it to anyone. Not even my guy friends.

If interested there is a part 3 let me know if you want to hear out the end.

I’ve never had a great relationship with my mother. She and my father were always there for me in a practical sense—they provided for my needs—but emotionally and spiritually, I was left to figure things out on my own. I don’t villainize them for it; they were young parents doing the best they knew how.

As a child, I was always more of a daddy’s girl, but I was also afraid of my mom. We fought a lot as I got older, and when I was a kid, I even resented her to the point of wishing she would disappear. She used to beat me for things like having messy handwriting or being too hyperactive. I still remember the day she tore out an entire notebook and made me rewrite everything neatly. Those experiences shaped a lot of my early interactions, and I found myself naturally gravitating toward male friendships, especially since I went to a predominantly male high school.

At the time, it felt normal, but as I grew older, I started craving deeper connections with other women. I realized that most of my male friendships had an expiration date—eventually, many of them would develop feelings for me, and that wasn’t what I wanted. I started longing for something more stable, a real sense of sisterhood and female companionship.

Now, at 22, I’ve been doing a lot of healing, and a part of me deeply craves motherly affection and that warm, nurturing “girlhood” experience with an older woman. But I’ve accepted that I won’t get that from my own mom—she’s emotionally unavailable, and even the thought of seeking it from her makes me feel embarrassed.

Instead, I’d love to befriend an older, kind-hearted woman who could offer that guidance, support, and affection in a way that feels natural. I don’t know if that’s strange, but I just want to heal, and I think having that kind of connection would help.

Has anyone else ever felt this way? And if so, how did you navigate it?

When I was in a senior grade in high school, I would hang out with this girl who was a known slut, but she wasn’t my type so I kept it no more than that. At the end of our school year she had a house party. There was weed and alcohol available.

Here mom who was a single mom lived there and allowed the party. She didn’t interact much with any of us, just sorta let us be.

Later on that night, I was drunk off Mike’s hard lemonade. I don’t remember the time, but I know most of us kids left at house. I remember looking in their fridge for food, and the girls mom walked into the kitchen, asking me what I was doing. I told her I was looking for water lol. She got me a glass, then asked if I was spending the night.

I told her yes, because I wasn’t able to drive from drinking. She told me to follow her so she could show me where I could sleep. Basically showed me a couch and told me to Come with her to get a pillow and blanket.

We ended up in her room, she told Me to grab a pillow of the bed and just the way we were standing when I reached out, I brushed my hand against her. I remember jump a bit and look at me, then she grabbed me and laid me on the bed on my back.

Let me know if you want the rest for part 2

When I was in a senior grade in high school, I would hang out with this girl who was a known slut, but she wasn’t my type so I kept it no more than that. At the end of our school year she had a house party. There was weed and alcohol available.

Here mom who was a single mom lived there and allowed the party. She didn’t interact much with any of us, just sorta let us be.

Later on that night, I was drunk off Mike’s hard lemonade. I don’t remember the time, but I know most of us kids left at house. I remember looking in their fridge for food, and the girls mom walked into the kitchen, asking me what I was doing. I told her I was looking for water lol. She got me a glass, then asked if I was spending the night.

I told her yes, because I wasn’t able to drive from drinking. She told me to follow her so she could show me where I could sleep. Basically showed me a couch and told me to Come with her to get a pillow and blanket.

We ended up in her room, she told Me to grab a pillow of the bed and just the way we were standing when I reached out, I brushed my hand against her. I remember jump a bit and look at me, then she grabbed me and laid me on the bed on my back.

Let me know if you want the rest for part 2

I'm a prisoner and yes I know how can a prisoner have a phone? Well it's simple we smuggled it in now I've been locked up for about 3 years and got 7 more to go and before you ask I'm here for making guns and I mean actually make them now the reason for this post was to not only confess that I'm a prisoner but that I also wanna have a random girl to talk to regular chat nasty chat idc I just wanna chat away and meet people. So if anybody interested hit me up or something. Later on I might actually post my Snapchat here.

Voilà je me permets d’écrire un texte pour vous dire que tout va bien que je n’ai pas besoin de me plaindre. Ma vie est géniale ma femme, je l’aime, elle m’aime. Ça fait déjà presque six ans que nous sommes ensemble. J’ai deux chiens adorables une super maison, un super job que j’aime Une famille aimante, je suis plutôt à l’abri financièrement et voilà j’en ai marre parce que ça fait deux semaines que je lis des reddit tous les jours et j’ai du en lire un qui compte une bonne nouvelle, j’ai l’impression que le monde est peuplé de problème, et ça me fait mal au cœur. Donc voilà je partage un peu de bonheur avec vous. Merci de m’avoir lu. Bonne journée

TL;DR: We skipped class with stolen hall passes.

Let me preface this with saying that 16 years later I still find this crazy funny!

I was iny last year of high school (junior). For those in the know, this trick I'm about to tell you was not ucommon.

One day I'm sitting in accounting class and a blonde named Miranda comes in during the middle of the class and goes, "Miranda B, you have been called to the front office. Please bring your things as you will not be returning to class."

Miranda A. Sounds official, and she really was some sort of intern / office aide. She gives the teacher the note and I thought nothing of it.

Couple weeks later I'm in biology class and just so happens Miranda B. is also in there.

The same story repeats where Miranda A. Comes into class and Miranda B. gathers her stuff as she "would not be returning to class".

I got really curious. Somehow or another me and Miranda B. had been becoming friends. I say somehow because I never made friends easily and she was so pretty / bad ass.

She confesses to me one day that Miranda A. had stolen a pad of pre stamped hall passes from the front of office where she worked. They would leave school for the rest of the day.

The teachers either didn't have enough time to sign, or wanted to be lazy. So they would just stamp their signature on every pass to save time.

So I got the idea to do the same. I stole a pad of the prestamped passes and would use them to stay in the library. I would skip class and chill in the library lol and read use the computer lab or my phone.

The first day the librarian took my word at value that I had been sent there to do xyz. Mr. librarian was skeptical the second day I was in the library so I showed him the pass and he never questioned me again.

It would help to say that I was in the readers club headed by said Librarian. The group was made up of all nerdy goody two shoes types. They weren't the lying type. So I guess he thought the same of me.

Also there was one more practice that "efficient" teachers did that made no sense. Some teachers would give you a worksheet and put the answers at front for us to self check and grade when we're finished. Remember Miranda B.?

She taught me that all you have to do to was go up the answer key take a picture and then fill in the answers. Maybe get one wrong to not raise any suspicion.

Anyone else do something like this?

I worked for a doctor who was a total jackass. In every sense of the word. He was horrible to his employees and his patients. He was the bottom of the barrel doctor. His appointments were filled because he was the only one with openings. He would talk shit about patients the second they left, he would talk shit about us (his staff, running all aspects of his business). He would openly insult us in front of each other. Horrible guy. One day, he was in a rush and left his keys on his desk. Odd thing is, I didn't even think about it. I took his keys. Threw then in a trash bin in another part of the building. He was soooooooooooo mad. He was mad. I've never told anyone that. Kinda can't believe I did it, kinda proud of myself.

Wrote this down as some sort of creative writing piece cuz I'm too scared to be upfront and too specific and it's one of the knly ways I know how to express myself. But please tell me I'm not alone:(

I don’t know when it got worse. I wish I could point to a day, a moment, a single second where it all tipped. Maybe then I could sau, “See? That’s when it happened. That’s where it started.” But it wasn’t like that. It was slow Quiet. One thing after another until, suddenly, the weight was too much, and I couldn’t even tell what part of it was crushing me the most. Maye it started with her, the ache of knowing it all brought me. Maybe it didn’t. Maybe it started with the first loss. Or the second. Or maybe when I realised that people Don’t always stay, even when they promised to. Or maybe when I realised that sometimes, it’s not that they don’t want to stay—they just can’t. I don’t cry much anymore. Not they way I did that day. I think I used to believe sadness was loud, came in storms, broken voices, shaking hands. It’s just quiet. It sits with you in the empty spaces. Lingers in the moments between laughter, pauses between sentences, in the deep, aching breath you take before answering, “I’m fine.” I carry it with me. Everywhere. It sits in my chest, wraps around my ribs. Some days, it’s just there, heavy but bearable. Most days, unbearable. Some days I feel like I’m walking through the world with a weight so crushing that it’s a wonder I’m still standing, Some days, I wish I wasn’t. I think about that a lot. About how easy it would be just let it all go. About how nice it would be to just rest. I know I shouldn’t think like that. I know it’s not what they would want. But it’s hard not to, when the world feel this hollow, the weight keeps growing, when I keep loosing pieces of myself to things I can’t control. I miss them. I miss me. I miss the way things were before everything started to hurt. Hurt so much. And I didn’t know how to get any of it back. And I just sit here. Again. And I breathe. Not because I want to. But I have to. For now. I want to move forward, but I’m stuck. I’m depressed. Ashamed to even admit that. Depression is addictive. It's not that I want to feel like this - but there's something about the weight of it that becomes familiar and almost comforting in such a twisted away. The sadness, numbness, and the ache is predictable. I know it and I know how to live with it. And after a while, the idea of not feeling it, of stepping into something else, even if it's better, feels strange. Uncertain. Because what if I let go of this sadness and there's nothing left? What if I heal and realise I don’t know who I am without the hurt? What if things get better only for them to turn shittier, and I have to go through it all again? These feelings settle in like a shadow that never leaves, and after a while, you stop trying to push it away. Letting it sit with you and grow and become a part of you. I hate it and I WANT to be free of it, but that thought of stepping outside of it feels like stepping into an empty space that I really don't know how to fill in. That's what makes it addictive. Not the pain itself, but it's familiarity. A sort of cruel feelig of safety in knowing what to expect, even if that expectation is something awful. It isn't right, but it feels that way.

I’m too tired to really care anymore. You’ve Won. I Tap Out. ✌🏼

Growing up, my social circle was not very large and I only really had three or four friends who I would regularly hang out with. We all went to the same middle school and high school and would hang out like normal friends playing video games, going on bike rides etc. Three out of four of us, including myself, had good grades in school and were on track to go to good colleges. The other friend, let's call him "John" wasn't good when it came to academics so he dropped out of school when he was 16. The rest of us still maintained our friendship but our social circles expanded pushing John more and more to the fringes of that social group.

Anyway, as high school went on, we saw John less and less and since we were pretty much his only friends, he became somewhat of a recluse. We still hung out with him but it wasn't a super regular occurrence like it had been when were 15-16. After we graduated, John and one of my other close friends were hanging out together and having a drink. By this point, John had started to develop some bad habits like doing drugs and day drinking, but this honestly did not affect my relationship with him too much. But I would come to learn that he had done something terrible. While they were drinking, John told my other friend that he had hooked up with a girl. Because she had been a virgin, he was bragging about how "inexperienced" she was and other things like that... It turned out she was 15 (Edit since people asked: He was 20 at the time) (and he knew this and was one of things he was proud of). My other friend was obviously disgusted and told me about the conversation after they had hung out. I was really shocked because I knew John wasn't exactly a goody-two shoes but this was a whole other level.

In the wake of this discovery about John, I immediately cut him off and didn't associate with him anymore. A couple weeks after the incident, I was hanging out in a pub with a friend (not a part of the original group but who knew about John's wrongdoing) and John walks in with a buddy of his I had never seen before. He sat down at our table and started talking saying he hadn't seen me in a while and wanted to hang out. I looked at him and said pretty much nothing; we exchanged glances and it was clear he knew that I knew. An important detail is that, at the time, John (and his friend) was much bigger and stronger than me physically and occasionally had the tendency to act out a little bit. So I didn't say anything to his face about the incident for fear that he might just beat me up. After an extremely awkward silence, he got up and left and I haven't seen him since.

That was two years ago. I feel really guilty about this whole situation because I want to do something about it but I know that I can't. What I know about his crime would just be hearsay and there's no use in telling other people because he's already a recluse and I'm still afraid he'll come after me if he knows I spread this around. When I visit home now, my parents ask me why I don't hang out with John anymore and I just say we "drifted apart" or something like that. I wouldn't want them to judge me for ever hanging out with such a scumbag. I feel powerless about this whole situation. I just hope he pulled himself together and isn't doing that anymore.

I was 14 at that time and my school is really close to the mall like you can literally walk about 600 meter.My school start around 2 o'clock in the afternoon on friday so my friends and i would come early to go to the mall, we would order a taxi to take us to the mall because we are lazy enough to walk. So in the mall had a really big supermarket and we would go inside there and steal foods but not infront of the camera. There's one Friday that me and my friend was caught stealing and we were brought to this staff meeting room where they ask us about our parent phone number. But of course my friend wouldn't give their parent number so the staff called our school and one of our teacher came there. The teacher called our parent and tell them about us. When my parent came i saw my mom walking to me then slap me really hard in the face. My dad literally had to hold her after that or i would get kill tho. Luckily the store say to us no need to pay the fine and yeaa it still haunts me till this day ( sorry if my English is bad)

When I was in highschool and I had a job at the mall. I working in a kiosk that sold sunglasses and sometime when my coworkers and I where board on the weekends, we would super glue Loonies and toonies (Canadian one and two dollar coin) to the floor in between our kiosk and another store. And we just watch people pass by and try to pick it up and the people would ask us for help to use our tools that we have at the kiosk to take up the coins and we refused, citing that it was to fix glasses. we can't be using it to take up glued coins off the floor and at the end of the day or normally if there was a crowd forming trying to get the coins up after the crowd passed, we just remove it. Shitty I know, we did this for at least a year and we would buy the super glue just for this. When your young you think dumbest things are fun, and as an adult it isn't funny.

Woke up with the vague feeling that I said something mean or embarrassing to my friend that may or may not have ended our friendship after I was secretly hammered on a “one cocktail in a fancy bar” type night out lmao. I have near to no memory of the second half of the night so I don’t even know what I did 🤦🏻‍♀️

Over the Christmas break, I did shopping at a busy retail centre.

Toilets were way too busy, so I went to sports retail store immediately across. I grabbed a Nike t-shirt off the rack and proceeded to fitting room.

I was desperate to take a dump, as such hovered my ass towards the floor in the private booth. it turned out to be of a sloppy nature which landed nicely / quietly on the carpeted floor. A large amount too. As such the Nike shirt came in handy to clean myself up / wipe ass thoroughly.

I then placed it neatly over the feces to reduce the horrendous smell / increase time until discovery (ensure a clean exit from store).

Being holidays, this store was also busy, lots of people.

Id say a customer found the surprise before staff. It would have been an interesting reaction. And I wonder who cleaned it up.

I do not do this regularly, last time prior to this was 10 years ago.

So my son’s father is in prison for two years. That may not seem like a lot of time for most but for me it seems like forever. This is his second rodeo and I’m not really sure what to think or how to think. I filled out unnecessary paperwork and literally it took about a month for me to get approved like I was so sure I wasn’t gonna get approved in the back of my head. I felt like I wasn’t gonna get approved, but I had no reason not to be approved. I never really realize how expensive it is not only for me to communicate with him. Everything in prison requires money from the visits to the phone calls to the commentary everything the crazy part is I wanted to go see him at First so bad but now that I have gotten relaxed in my own space with my son without his father, I’m not sure if I really wanna go. I think I may just be scared of what’s gonna happen when I get there. I’ve never been to a visitation before. Hell I’ve never really been in the situation like this before I mean the last time he was locked up he was in the county jail and I believe he stayed there for like almost a year never going to prison, but this time he’s going to prison I don’t wanna be the type of person that just walks away from somebody when they need you but at the same time in the back of my mind, I’m like if the shoe was on the other foot, would he stay and I already know the answer is no anyway I got approved for visitations today😒

Every time i get a boner my dick BURNS … because of a genital friction burn the cuts reopen . And with the smart phone, something will inevitably pop up to cause me to get a boner and have to restart this long process again … its been a year living with this nightmare

Go back 20 years now. Of course when you're a teenager you believe you're untouchable, I was no exception. I was an emo kid who hung out with all the other weird kids who didn't fit in anywhere. There were a few of us who really liked to watch stuff burn (we were big stoners). We would burn random stuff at our hangout across the street from the school. Garbage, paper, random crap, anything and everything was fair game. Where were the adults, and why did we never get in trouble you ask? Oh we had plenty of adults tell us to knock it off, but nothing ever serious happened to us (until a year later that is). It was just that lucky horseshoe I had up my ass I guess.

So we all met up for lunch as usual. You know teenage boys always wanting to smell nice so AXE bodyspray was everywhere. We were shooting off fireballs with the can and a lighter when I had a wonderfully wicked curiosity cross my mind. 'Would this catch someone on fire?!' Yes people.. the answer is yes. I looked at John #1 (J1) and noticed his legs were the hairiest fucking things I'd ever seen in my life. I looked at John #2 (J2), (yes is was a John on John crime) and he must have read my mind because we didn't even need to exchange words before we both jumped up and chased J1 around the Plaza. J1 must have seen the look in my eyes because he was up with a slight headstart. J2 finally tackled J1 and held him down while I did a quick little spritzy flamey and wooooosh, the smell of burnt hair was instantaneous. Instant regret, even though my curiosity had 1000% been satisfied, we apologized and laughed it off. J1 had no burns or marks of any kind, just missing all his leg hair. So I'm not telling your teenage self to go light anyone on fire, but live a little.

Looking back on it now of course a million things could have gone wrong. J1 still tried to sleep with me the following year and J2 was caught up in the ecstacy ring at school and ended up arrested and expelled. High school was a scary, crazy time and I'm so happy cell phones didn't have cameras back then like they do now. These memories can stay hidden in my brain until I can regale you wonderful people of Reddit. Any questions? I'm happy to try and answer what I can.