Dear MMFB,

It's gonna be a long-ish story, sorry for that I need to vent. Also, I didn't include everything in the story, so let me know if something is not clear. Thank you.

My story is not unique at all, but I really need your perspective. I met a girl through friends and I really liked her. It turned out she was dating with someone already so I let it go. She is close to 30, I'm close to 40. After half a year, we met again through the same friends and we went hiking where I intentionally didn't want to get close to her - or anyone for that matter, and we had a fantastic time altogether with friends. The next day I got a message that was reflecting on out age gap in a joking way, that I should be younger. So we started chatting a lot that week and by Thursday she invited me for a wine. We went out and it was amazing. I thought that finally after the frustrating online apps, I might have the chance to build something organic and genuine offline. We went on chatting a lot, going hiking together and go running together. The next week was been better: out if 7 days we met 6, all were really great. I started to think maybe there is gonna be a chance for relationship - we both hadn't had one for a while. She invited me over and I invited her over but mind you we were laughing and still there wasn't an overly romantic atmosphere - which was fine, we were having fun. Then we started holding hands - interlocking fingers, so I said okay this is going somewhere. She still hadn't sent me flirty messages and I knew she wasn't an easy going type, so I thought next week I'm gonna do something more. The next week she told me she was gonna very busy with work and I didn't push her. But what happened was the following: she decreased our communication by 99%, never invited me, our texting felt one-sided. I asked her after a week that I had noticed the shift in our communication was there something that happened. She answered me that she had a life and it got busy, which I acknowledged but started feeling suspicious. Anyway, we met and it was as if nothing had happened, but after a week of nothing compared to the previous weeks full of potential I felt I needed to get some clarity. I asked her what was happening because this contrast is strange for me and she got real upset, saying why she had to explain herself every time we met. I told her I just asked you two days ago in a message after our communication died basically and now. She said she didn't want relationship, so I told her ok I got it. Later that day I saw them together with a guy and they were running, which hit me because running was "our thing". She saw me as well and there was a sort of guilt in her eyes (maybe I perceived it wrong), but later she answered my message that she hadn't. Days went by, gradually decreasing both the quality and quantity of the communication but I still kept the hope unfortunately. We went on a walk together and again, it felt natural and happy and our friends said it's so obvious we are meant to be together as we have a very natural vibe (she put her lipstick mark on a paper put it on my fridge door, she invited me for a nap in her bed - which really was meant to be a nap, I know) so this was a good check for myself as well that I wasn't just seeing things. So on this trip she wanted to take a photo of us together, which she did, and I asked her if it's okay if share it, she said "yes, we are friends". I didn't want to be friends so I let it stay like this. Last part, hang on please. Our communication basically died, on a Sunday I got to know she went on a date, which put me in an agitated state of betrayal, or hurt or whatever. I reached out to her to a message, because she took an unusually long time to answer and she told me the same thing - she didn't want to explain this to me, I texted "ok sorry for asking" which came off as a bit distancing to which she replied she didn't think I was ready to be only friends with her. I never replied to that and she tried to call me twice the next day but I was at a party I noticed it later. I called her back, nothing. Next day I answered her that my message was really just an honest check-in to which she said sorry to overreact but she thinks I need time to process things between us (I don't need to be told how and what I - should - feel BTW) I pulled back with communicating with her at this point and I was so hurt and disappointed how things had changed compared to the first weeks. I told my therapist about it as well. We had gotten an invite for a party before things went south and I thought okay, of course it's not gonna happen but she reached out unexpectedly if I wanted her to come with me to the party. I said yes, of course that was the original plan. We went and when she saw me her face glowed up and it was again awesome - we had loads of fun, our other friends told me privately - wow you are beautiful together etc etc. I was sitting in the sofa she came around putting her fingers in my hair asking what I was up to, we were very close together all night long, looking at each other etc. Up until a point when she asked me what I think of us, can we be friends? I said no, I want more. She told me she is not attracted to me, to which I said, why would she ask me this in the middle of the party when we are having so much fun? Also even if we are friends how can say things like that. She even said she was consciously limiting our communication. Anyway, we left the party together and I told her everything, like I don't like and can't process this push and pull dynamic, she didn't even want to remember holding hands, and she admitted that saying her not attracted to me was hurtful. She then went on that there might have been feelings, she dated me in the first two weeks but then realized she didn't want me - which she never said BTW - only at this party. So after this she got upset again, got out of the car, and as I wanted to say something she said ok goodbye and goodnight and left me there on the streets. Yesterday I got to know she has a boyfriend which put me in this devastated place. Now this is not my first heartbreak, nor is it my last. Apart from many red flags ( dating without telling me - I mean instead of telling me she is not attracted to me, it could've been better, or trying to gaslight me, playing the push and pull game - like getting flirty but when I react, she retracts, used me as an emotional anchor), I know that it is more about me than her, as my involvement was too soon and too quick. I am working on this, it was a great lesson. I am not judging her, don't want to, but I feel devastated and it would be nice to feel better. I'm of course not talking to her and I am not intending to talk to her, and I think she is suppressing some feelings towards me which she can't handle. All the things she said to me sounded it was just her way of distancing herself from me for some reason, but I feel every time I touched upon the topic for our "emotional" side she got avoidant, upset so here must be something that she is not okay with within herself. I need to move on but it hurts now, as I feel betrayed.

Thank you for reading this and I wish you a great day.

Ever since I can remember, I have always been in a vicious cycle. I have a mental health episode, I spiral, and I tend to self-destruct but not in the way most people do. I don't resort to drugs and alcohol. I will destroy my entire life, take too many days off of work, and not do the work that I need to (not because I hate it because I just don't it's like I'm being held against my own will only because it's myself). This makes me go deeper into my own snowball effect and then I'm so deep in, it takes forever to untangle the mess.

I am 25, and things are stable enough. I had a routine, and things were looking up. Yet once again, bad feedback at work and an evaluation are sending me spiraling again. My brain goes to what's the point of trying if I'm bad. The snowball is coming down on me and I feel myself rolling into a bigger and heavier snowball and I want it to stop before it gets so bad I am unemployed again. (Also I did try to apply for SMI and SSDI benefits but I was declined so I have to push through so I have enough money to get an IOP/PHP)

I don't know, man. I just need support, love, and people to remind me that I can pull through it. I cannot afford to lose this job, but I need support. I need the words to help me wake myself up in this moment.

I know that objectively I’m not in much danger. Driving is still probably more risky than living in a house alone.

But I just feel like I can’t relax, and the more I research ways to make my home safer, the more I fixate on possible vulnerabilities.

I’m not looking for home security tips, I just need people to counteract the alarmist mentality you find on any home security subreddit.

I’m currently in highschool and in 10th grade and my gf is a senior and in 12th grade I am currently 16 and she’s 17. So i Just want to know if anyone has been in my type of situation. I’ve been in a couple things in my past i’ve gotten a bj from another girl and other couple things. She has also gave and received set sorta thing particularly with her ex bf. We were very open about it and decided to just budge it off. Recently we’ve gotten more sexually active and most recently had sex. It wasn’t nothing special it was the awkward and hurtful kinda of sex. It definitely could’ve been better but we made do. We stupidly didn’t use a condom anyway. She always used to tell me that she never let her ex have sex with her (idk why) I always believed her until I recently got suspicious. 1. Me and her have been talking for 3 months and already had sex ik crazy. But also we knew each other a long time ago but we broke contact and didn’t speak for 3 years. Anyway her bf and her dated for over a year and your telling me they didn’t have sex and me and her did. Also during the sex she told me to go even deeper which i wasn’t fully in but i found it kinda odd that she would ask that when just a second ago she said it was hurting nevertheless she did say it was hurting most of the time and i just wanna know if im being insecure or dumb I just wanna know since i didn’t wanna loose my v card to someone who already had their. first experience. Also ik i shouldn’t care and everything but im young im just trying to get feedback and maybe some advice.

4 years ago I met a man from tinder, let’s call him dave. I was literally captivated by him since day 1 and we started hooking up on and off. To make it short, that time of my life I was super insecure, naive and desperate for his attention. I tolerated a lot of bad behaviour and put up with a lot of disrespect. Dave literally treated me as a subhuman and yet I kept coming back. I always suspected that he is also a cheater and would hook up with me even while dating people but I didn’t have proof. A few months ago I had proof that he was in fact in a new relationship yet he was sexting me at the same time and lying to me about wanting something serious with me.

Immediately my first instinct was to tell the gf. So I messaged her and her response was super dismissive to say the least. She asked me to send her screenshots and her tone suggested that I was lying to her and when I did she just left me on read (fucking rude). I felt like a fucking clown because I sent this woman super personal texts that involved info about my sexuality and feelings. It sucks that she ignored me and continued to date him. Of course, he got really mad about me messaging her, he threatened me with a harassment report, told me to go die, told me to go k*ll myself and said I was a worthless piece of shit. I am beyond hurt and mad. I am crying right now just typing the cruel words he said to me. I am very devastated that this same man was lying and telling me he wanted something serious with me less than 6 hours before he started directing these insults at me. I hate both of them and I truly do not feel bad for her at all. I hope he cheats on her and then she will remember me and how she ignored me.

I am here left to pick up the pieces meanwhile he is out there living his best life

Need someone to listen without judgment or advice? l'm here to help. You can talk to me about anything on your mind, whether it's relationships, work, hobbies, dreams, struggles, or successes. Don't suffer alone reach out today. Looking forward to hearing from you Soon.

Comment on this if you are unable to DM.

So I asked r/jobs and someone got really snotty at me, thought here might have some better emotional tact.*

Basically I'm fed up of 6 months to a year long jobs, I thought I had my big break at the beginning of 2024 but alas I failed probation unexpectedly. After that I took a temp job in administration and royally sucked at that too.

I'd love to have a cultural job, something in a museum or a gallery or writing for a magazine or something, but despite selling 200 copies of a historical cookbook over the years without marketing support, I've had no luck finding traditional media that wants to take a chance on me.

Any words of wisdom to help me get out of the washing machine cycle of shitty jobs?

Edit: *Specifically they said "I don't know why you feel qualified for an academic job if you can't even keep a temp job in administration" - which feels unfair given I'm dyspraxic and therefore famously disorganised

so basically I was in this discord server of a really small streamer I like. The people in that community were really weird but I just tried to ignore it. Yesterday I decided to talk a little bit in the server. It was going smooth until me and 2 other members started playing Gartic Phone. They were writing really weird sentences for me to draw like “(streamer name) beating his meat”. I found it a lil weird but I know that is some people’s sense of humor so I was like “whatever”. As we continued they started to put inappropriate sentences for me to draw about me and streamer fucking. (I am 14. The streamer is like 22) I tried to laugh through the pain but it kept getting worse and worse until I just started crying and was like “what the fuck is wrong with them”. After a few rounds of them being weird, I left the game, pinged the streamer and said “your members are pedos”. I saw him get online but he didn’t respond at all. The 2 guys tried to say they weren’t and they were 14 too. And when I told them they are immature asf, a MOD (tiktok and twitch mod) wanted to be a fucking weirdo and join in to say “stfu before I have you like this 🫄”. they are so fucking weird one of them literally told the other “..stop before I rape you like (my name).” I hate this community so much now like, I knew they were weird but not THIS weird. I’ve never wanted to kms so badly in that moment. I left that server and have no regrets. I will try my best to tell the streamer next time he is live. (If you want proof, just dm, also very sorry if I seem.. out of order or smth idk)

I am in a choir and have vertigo, we recently had a several-hour long concert where I told the conductor I was dizzy and would like a chair or an easy exit but he said no end put me right in the middle of everybody.

I was okay for the concert but, as we were exiting, because of the dizziness I lost my balance and collapsed and couldn't get back up. I'm worried people hate me now because I took up a lot of people's attentions and energies and I feel like they must be thinking that I was trying to upstage the others as I knew I was dizzy and could've just not shown up that day. I had a duet and didn't want to abandon my partner.

I feel like even if I had fainted it would've been more acceptable but I didn't faint, I just have vertigo bad enough that my doctor got me an expedited neurologist's appointment. I was fully awake and aware the entire time. I was literally lying on the floor when my conductor walked by, looked at me and said "I'm going to turn off the lights because I'm leaving now so you should probably get up" and just went on his way. I feel badly about the collapsing, worried that I wasted everybody's time, but simultaneously a bit offended at how quickly people were willing to leave me on the floor.

My mother is a narcissist my dad is dead my husband doesn’t take up for me his brother is a psychopath and my daughter hates me.

There’s no fentanyl strong enough to kill me.

Basically, I’m a shell of a person. I don’t have any talents, hobbies, passions, or interests. I have no discernible personality and and completely and totally unremarkable. I have friends but no best friends. I’ve had talking stages but no relationships, and the inevitably failed attempts at any stick with me for way too long and mess with me way too much for what they actually were, whereas the other party, I would assume, doesn’t even think about me. Every day I go to school and as soon as I come home I lay in my bed until dinner and then I shower and go to sleep. I don’t do anything else with my life. I know what my problem is. I have no motivation to start anything and no discipline to get anything done. There are so many things I WANT to do. I wish I could finish all my missed schoolwork, but I haven’t even started most of it. I wish I could actually learn the guitar and the piano and dare I say improve, but the instruments just sit collecting dust. I wish I could go back to the gym and tone my figure and fix my whack ass diet. But I haven’t been in at least 6 months and I either eat like shit or eat nothing at all. There are so many movies I want to watch, and series and anime I want to finish, and books I want to read, and so much music I want to listen to, and so many video games I want to play, but I’m so pathetic I can’t even consume media. There are so many recipes I want to try and languages I want to learn and things I want to study and skills I want to try and develop, but all I do and all I truly believe I’m capable of is rotting in my bed and thinking about them all. I want to audition for the musical at my school but I can’t even bring myself to practice. I want to get a job and I’m always told to leave my number but I never get a call back, and I never leave the house to go look for work. I want to clean the house and fix my appearance develop a routine for my skin and hair and body, but it’s always a mess inside and my hair is always greasy and I never have the motivation to do any more than washing my face and putting on mascara. Any money I get I immediately blow on food or smoke and any time I get any sliver of motivation to do something, as soon as I get up, and am ready to start, I immediately lose it all and go straight back to rotting. I have “plans” for the future, want to attend an international school and study philosophy and minor in linguistics, but I don’t know how I’ll be able to do that when I can barely handle simple classes, have no income and no work ethic, and don’t even have the motivation to get out of bed. Any dream or goal I have is completely out of reach and it’s all my fault. Even maintaining friendships and good relationships with people is exhausting and it takes multiple hours worth of gathering what little energy I have to simply reply to messages. I know people don’t like me because there’s quite literally nothing to like. I’m a leech and all I do is use up resources. I don’t even have the will to end my life, regardless of the fact that I have no will to live. And for the cherry on top, above it all, with everything comes the most dreadful, looming, sinking feeling that I’m running out of time. I won’t be this young for much longer and I won’t be able to rely on my shitty excuse for a life anymore. I’m so, so sick of it. But there’s nothing I can do. I’m on zoloft and adderall and they probably do something but all I’ve noticed is that they kill my appetite. I have a therapist/psychiatrist but I genuinely hate therapy and I’ve tried plenty of therapists and I’ve never had a good experience and nothing ever changes. I try to keep a positive attitude but my life is pathetic and I’m a self-pitying obnoxious loser so those attempts are futile. I’m not looking for words of sympathy or encouragement. I’m not looking for some elon musk on the grind mindset bullshit or hippy methods or people trying to sell me something. All I want is to know what to do. I want directions on how the fuck I dig myself out of this impossible hole. Because I’ve looked, and I’ve tried, I really have. But I always find myself back at the bottom. As far as I’m aware there is no solution and I’m destined to be no one. I’m sorry you had to read that I know I sound obnoxious and insufferable

My mom accidentally donated a hoodie that originally belonged to my older brother, who passed away fifteen years ago.

I've kept this hoodie since his passing. I was a pre-teen when he passed, he was a teenager, but he was 6'5 so his hoodie was something I would never outgrow. I planned to keep it for the rest of my life, it's the only thing I have left to remember him by. It's the last thing I had that was his.

I'd left it at her house the last time I visited and she'd called to ask if she could donate it. I said no and explained why, which she understood... but it still somehow ended up in the donation bag by mistake. I live across the country, so I haven't been able to go to the store myself but she has gone a few times to try to get it back. No luck yet.

I'm so heartbroken. I feel like I'm grieving his death again. I was young when he died. It was something that felt easier to repress back then, now suddenly it's like it has just happened again and I'm so, so sad.

I've been friends with her for a little while, there was interest to date before as things even got to the point where we sat down and said we liked eachother but it didn't go further than that from other issues, but we kept as friends.

Two weeks ago on the 12th she asks me out of the blue if i wanted to go on a walk with her and I said yeah, we ended up talking about a whole bunch of things including sex and dating, I remember that she said to me that she's not really looking for a relationship just a bit of fun, I say similar but state that I wouldn't be against if someone wanted to date. We didn't end up doing anything but we went back to hers to smoke which was also the first time I've ever been at her place, we were out for about 3-4 hours.

We're also part of the same friend group which I introduced her to; I see three days after the walk that she's talking to a mutual friend about some guy she brought up privately, she's scared of going back into dating as in her head she is very mixed on if it'll work or not, and that she's also scared to date if she's not at her ideal weight. I was told after through the friend that she stated privately that it's not me, but since then has been incredibly distant, so part of me believes that she is talking about me here and she's trying to hide it from the friends as they're closer to me than her.

On the 20th this month I sent her a private message saying hey and that I'm a bit worried we've not spoken in a while, but that I hope she's okay. She replies with "Yeah, umm, we'll chat at some point" I follow it up by saying do you want me to let you reach out, and she says "Yeah, I'll reach out once i figure out what to say". Yesterday evening we were playing games with friends, it's the first time I've played a game or really spoken with her so when we were alone I asked if she was okay, I get back a simple "Yeah", I say okay and move on as to not pester her. We change games over to something else and when people were joking around with me she joined in which I think is a good sign honestly. Throughout the evening she was incredibly quiet which isn't like her, i was told through a friend that she was just uber stoned though.

Thing is with this other guy all the information that I know is that he lives local to her and that he's a older guy which i am too, but on this walk if i looked at her she looked away, and generally we got on really well there wasn't any awkwardness or anything. I still find the situation incredibly strange though, I won't be against dating her as again i do find her attractive but as it's been 7 days since she said she'll reach out i really don't know what i should do.

I feel awful because i feel like I've lost a friend, but I feel terrible the fact that I don't even know what this situation even is anymore.

tl;dr Girl i'm friends with asked to go on a walk which i felt had other intentions, and since has been incredibly distant to me and i don't know what to do. MMFB?

Please let me know if you need a pizza from Domino's. I'll add (Closed) to the title when this offer is expired. I don't know if this is valid outside of the U.S.. Excuse me if it takes me a while to respond. Thank you.

Hey had a relationship that went well had a little fight over two weeks and she started pulling her from me. Lots of dry texts even when I try to initiate conversation she never responds to that. I have been doing all the things whatever it's good for this relationship but all of sudden when she was drunk said that she is not interested in me any more and don't disturb her again what would have made her to change like this. We had so many ups and downs in the past but this is htting me real hard. Need advice on how to proceed.

Hi. Im a newly licensed doctor. I applied for radiology residency into my first choice hospital and luckily ingot accepted. We are 10. However I just found out I'm the lowest ranked (i.e. last to be chosen) among those accepted. I feel dumb and just lucky to be accepted, since they usually choose 9 only. so I don't even know why 10 were accepted this year. I think I just got lucky because someone was kicked out of the program so they could afford to accept more than the usual.

You don't know me. But no one's that awful of a person, right?

I've never hit anyone in my life, or ever even yelled really, but I keep on getting hit by people I'm close to. And it's always because of some words I have said that the person doesn't like.

The owners of the offending limbs have all told me, almost verbatim, that hitting me wasn't really weird or wrong because anyone would be driven to do it if they were around me. That my sheer offensiveness makes these extenuating circumstances. And usually that I deserved much worse.

Now I know that's abuser talk. But there's been like five or six people now who have all said the same thing. And I was the first and only person all of them have hit (they say).

So I really wonder now if it's conceivable that there could be an exception to the whole "never blame the victim" thing? Like if somebody, despite all their best intentions, was just THAT shitty?

Hiya, 27m here. Recently because of stress and life events my libido has taken a tumble. I have an amazing girlfriend who I love and is incredibly supportive and very attractive. Sex is good with her but I can’t be bothered until I’m actually doing the deed. Because I’m ocd I have entered into this rabbit hole of thinking my libido is low because there’s a this tiny made up chance i might be gay… I literally have never fancied men nor have had the desire to have sex with a guy. However, I cannot stop thinking this bullshit. Important to note that before said life events we were shagging all the time. Sounds bad but I still look at other women in the gym and am attracted to them (having all the normal thoughts at the time). Not saying I want to cheat, I’d never and know how lucky I am. I just can’t understand how I’ve gotten to this way of thinking. Hope this doesn’t sound to crazy. Anyone experience this? Thanks :)

I am 22, and it kills me that so many of the good parts of your youth are locked off for most. I won’t ever get to have those experiences.

In high school, I got cut from every sports team, rejected from student government, and got denied from debate. They refuse to give feedback about what went wrong, and it hurts. I have no idea why they denied me.

In college, I got denied from the engineering clubs, internships, and fraternities. It is a massive blow when people say college is better than high school when it isn’t. I missed out on parties, friendships, and more.

I don’t understand how so many others landed those opportunities. I worked extremely hard in school and never felt I was rewarded

Hi I'm sorry if this isn't the type of thing you usually talk about here but I really can't calm down right now. I bought tickets for a concert outside of official platforms and now I think they are false. It never happened to me before and I'm panicking, I don't know why. I didn't even spend that much, I mean I spent money but it's not like I lost thousands. It's not the worst thing ever, but I feel humiliated. Can someone help me stop the panic?

It is so sad recently When I see a very beautiful girl, I say to myself, yes, I will become like her soon after I turn 18 and have my own income because I will inject fillers and become more beautiful. I am unable to love myself. I cannot. This is one of the hardest things I have ever gone through in my life. How can I love myself despite these flaws?

Just to put you in the picture, even though I hate the way I look, this does not affect my self-confidence or my ability to put on makeup. I think I deserve to do all of this.

But damn beauty privilege, how long will I feel less? Whenever I post a picture on Instagram, no one comments or gets noticed unless I cover my face haha (since it's a post about clothes this time, not my face)

But on the other hand no one really compliments my (non-existent) beauty. My face is always slanted, my smile is creepy and I hate it, I have no cheekbones and my nose is always flat.

You know what annoys me the most? When my so-called best friends start commenting madly to everyone but me about how cute they are but my posts don't see any comments from them on a new photo I uploaded.

Knowing that my looks won't even help me get my standard of men is killing me. I want to marry that handsome guy so that my children will be handsome too and not suffer like me because of those damned genes.

Need someone to listen without judgment or advice? l'm here to help. You can talk to me about anything on your mind, whether it's relationships, work, hobbies, dreams, struggles, or successes. Don't suffer alone reach out today. Looking forward to hearing from you Soon.

Comment on this if you are unable to DM.

I don't think that they're actually going to do anything to hurt themselves, but when they get angry sometimes they say stuff like this. One told me a couple of years ago and the other told me a couple of hours ago.

I spent so long trying to fix my personality to be good but I guess no matter what I do I'm a really evil person and I don't know what to do about it.

:/

Hello I’m currently going through some pretty bad anxiety due to work. I have to help out with calls and I feel so dumb! I have a hard time to not feel anxious but I just cannot. It feels like I cannot control it.

Need someone to listen without judgment or advice? l'm here to help. You can talk to me about anything on your mind, whether it's relationships, work, hobbies, dreams, struggles, or successes. Don't suffer alone reach out today. Looking forward to hearing from you Soon.

Comment on this if you are unable to DM.

I've been telling people about this boy who's been harassing me. And following me. And saying sexual things. And none of them believed me because "You're not pretty enough for him to think that."

Except for my one professor, who promised me she'd believe me. "I can't report it without evidence but I believe you." That made my heart so full, until one day he wouldn't leave me alone from her class and I was afraid to walk back to my dorm alone with him so I said to her "Please help me stall" and she hid me in her office for half an hour until he stopped lingering at the door.

I thought she believed me. She had all the evidence, didn't she? Until today when she said "You're overthinking it, maybe he was just waiting to ask me a question." He wasn't though because I asked "Are you waiting to ask her a question?" and he said no. "Are you waiting for me?" Yes.

Why doesn't she believe me anymore? She was the one person I trusted the most.

Since the election I have been increasingly more fearful about the possibility of no having democracy in my country anymore. That there has been a fundamental shift into an oligarchy. Because the republicans have all 3 branches of government. It feels like all hope in this America is completely lost. Can someone explain why this would/wouldn’t or how this could/couldn’t happen.?