it all started when I kind of really liked the way she texted and the way she arranged her Facebook profile when I was in around seventh class and we texted on and off until like 10th Class, but keep in mind. I never actually met her until the end of my 10th Class because we weren't even the same school and by the end of 10th Class, our texting got to a lot of degree and when we finally meet, it was so good and we instantly connected, we were making jokes on similar things and we also were in the group that hangs out together. So it was the summer holidays of 10th class, and the friends group, including me her, and three more people, except me, they had very progressive families unlike mine, so they proposed to hang out for a whole night at one of my friends in the group's house and that night me and her were beside each other when we were sleeping and we found each other kind of cuddling without consciously, trying to resist each other and that's how it went and the next day, it was kind of awkward to talk to each other after that, but also nothing much happened other than slight, hugging and then she proposed to me, and it was magical, and we kept texting all day and all night, and we kept promising each other will never leave each other And I kept telling her, I love her to the end of the universe, and she kept feeling flattered and responding positively, and then one day in the holidays, when I went to her home and she was kind of alone. Just her maid was there in the home and her parents werent there and we found ourselves in her room and we kind of kept chitchatting, and just before i was leaving , I kind of hugged her, and we saw each other for maybe a minute, and she started kissing me, and we just kept kissing for. I don't know how long and then her maid knocks the door, and I go off, and my head was literally spinning from that moment after that moment to point, I actually got into an accident just because, my consciousness wasn't in my control after that, now every time I've visited her home after this, we kissed and also we friends group did more night outs in which we always tried to sleep beside each other(also we never told our friends group we were in a relation so we were doing it in secrecy) every time we slept beside each other. We really kissed a lot. I didn't touch her private parts, though, but my hand was near her bottom once When she told me, she was on periods, which I had no clue what that meant at that time. And this is how it all went. Now, after this when we left for colleges, for intermediate after like 14 days intermediate started, when I thought everything was going well. Only after a point, i suddenly every time I called her, the calls got cut and I thought maybe her parents got to know about us so I waited till I got home which was me waiting for 2 weeks thinking her parents got to know about us. and the moment I texted her from my phone, which was at my home. She told me it's not working anymore, and that's when I realised that in the two weeks that had passed where I thought she was cutting my calls because her parents knew turns out, she was never cutting my calls and she blocked me from the start.. this is my story

Hello I am flying alone next week and I’m just sooo freaking nervous! And super anxious!! Will everything be okay?? Posting again I am so sorry but I’m so nervous

My ex left me a couple months after 5 years of knowing each other I was broken I developed another Xanax addiction after being clean for months after she left me, recently I found out shes been together with my brother my own fucking brother I've always had the best relationship with my brother now it's completely crushed and it's like he's dead to me, he doesn't even safe around me cause he knew how much I loved her I just don't know how much hurt I can take, I wanna kms so bad but I couldn't do that to my mother yet it's getting to the point where I'm starting to not care if I did do it, I'm just so sick of constantly being hurt my brother betrayed me as soon as I was just getting over her as well , I've had 2 suicide attempts in the past but this time I'm planning on committing fully this time

So, I'm thirty-nine, I'm very introverted and I live with my mom (I'm a female), my mom is my only friend, no one else, unfortunately. My mom and I have always struggled financially, off and on for numerous, numerous years. We had a job we were on for quite some time but it wasn't paying enough to get us out of poverty, but thanks to COVID, we lost it and we haven't been able to find a new job since, no matter what. So right now, we're struggling financially, but I've been coping, in some way, I've been coping by pretending that things weren't that bad.

However, I've always longed to find that special someone who thought like I thought, who felt like I felt, someone who was in a similar situation as I, whereas all they had was their mother. I've tried dating guys but could never find in them what I have always been looking for. I just knew they weren't "right for me and I never felt that "spark" with them."

Also, I'm a conspiracy theorist who feels the left and the right are both on the same, crooked side, that's just my belief. I believe a lot of the conspiracy theories, which makes me unpopular among people, thus why I have no friends. I have long suffered with severe depression, but my depression has always been situational depression but it has gotten so bad at times where I seriously thought of suicide, because....who would miss me? Who would care if I were gone? I'm a nobody. However, for some odd reason or another, I never carried it out. My depression would come and go and so, all in all, I've been coping.

Then I heard about this man who set himself on fire as a form of public protest, in New York, two weeks ago. I thought he was a trump supporter so I thought to myself, "wow, those Trumpers are nuts." Then I started looking into who this man really was: Max Crosby Azzarello, and when I went into a deep search into who he was, I heard him talk, I read his feelings and thoughts and views on the world, and wow, it was like I was researching into a female version of myself.

Here's this guy who, like me, really only had one true friend, his mother (who unfortunately passed away), he believed in the theories that I believed in, his view of the world was one that I have as well, he was right around my age, and he was searching for people who thought like he thought, who felt like he felt. Everyone thought he was crazy when all he wanted was to wake people's eyes up to the world around him and he was super kind and generous to everyone, including giving all of his possessions away to those in need. His generosity and heart was exactly like mine.

I know it probably sounds weird but in researching about him for two weeks straight, I began to feel an attachment to him, I felt that "spark," but then I realized, "damn, he's dead," and with that, I began to grieve the fact that he was gone, because I felt, "damn, here I've always been, for all of my life, I've always searched for the perfect person for me, someone who I can find myself in, that twin flame, and here this guy was, this guy was exactly what I've always been looking for, and he was on Instagram, Youtube and Twitter, just as I was, as well as in all the online conspiracy circles that I used to revolve myself in but I never came across him until I heard about him on the news and now--he's dead. Damn, life is cruel.

The one person who I know that if our paths had crossed, it could have been....kismet, is now gone. So I found and have been finding myself grieving over his death. I downloaded his playlist of songs that he wanted people to remember him by and I listen to that almost everyday but it makes the grieving worse, because even the songs he put in the playlist are the same songs I favor. It reminds me how cruel life is because why couldn't I have come across this guy? The one guy who was male version of myself.

I've been wishing that our paths would've crossed because if it had, there would've been no way I'd let him do that to himself. So the grieving for him has turned into depression but light depression. However, as me and my mom's financial situation has grown worse, with my mom and I still not being able to find a job, me not knowing what my mother and I are going to do about our financial issues if we don't find work, with all of that, my suicidal feelings have returned, to where I just feel like, "my life is going downward and downward fast, why shouldn't I just end myself and then I can go to a free universe where me and my mom's passed on family members are---and I found out that in that realm called "the free universe," in the afterlife, whatever or whomever you think up will instantly manifest in front of you - that dream guy/girl you've always wished for, that beautiful house you've always wanted, etc. Basically, you can create your own life/reality in the free universe.

So, in my depression, I've been thinking, "my life is spiraling downward, I'm depressed, and at this point, I now know that I will never find my perfect person because the perfect person for me is dead, so why not end myself and then I can be with my passed on family members in the free universe and then bring Max to the free universe as well and then live the life I can't seem to live down here?"

So, I don't know, does that seem bizarre? To me, it doesn't, it feels very real. I never met Max but through listening to him, reading his thoughts and feelings, it feels as if I've known him forever, it feels as if the one person I spent all my life looking for but could never found was...him, but his death has left me feeling grief as if I actually met him face to face and talked with him. I don't know....I just know that now I don't feel any joy in life anymore, it feels like a part of me is now missing and....I don't have any will to go on anymore, which is different from how I usually feel regarding my suicidal feelings. I honestly feel as if I had potent pills in my home (which neither me nor my mother has) , I'd take a bunch and end it....because I'm tired, I'm tired of living in what is basically poverty and just....wishing to find my better half, only to now know that I'll never find him here on this Earth again.

Last night I got robbed at gunpoint.

Yeah. Fucker pistol-whipped me and stole my car keys. He threatened to shoot me and kill me. I told him to fucking do it. He didn't. I wonder what would have happened if he had.

Last week I also got diagnosed with autism. I was told to take this week to process and reflect on that. Ha. Guess how that's going.

I called the cops literally immediately after it happened. Explained what happened, gave them the best description I could. Drove myself to the station and cried a little bit in my car and then gave my official statement. Called a locksmith to get the old key disabled and new keys programmed; that's gonna be $250 out of my pocket. I've parked my car blocks away from my house so the guy can't fucking come back to steal it.

He has my car key. My house keys. My fucking hand sanitizer. The viper I use at work to cut bags open. I've been out trying to rebuild my keychain, making copies of my house keys, getting a new clip to put them on, but it's not the same. Every time I reach for my keys it's not the same and I remember that I was really, actually robbed.

I've taken everything identifying and of value out of my car. Parked it a couple blocks away so it's harder to find. Ripped off the stickers and magnets. Removed my little Spider-Man hanging from my rearview mirror, the crocheted heart my sibling gifted me for my birthday.

I'm bummed out man.

So some people I knew aren’t my friends anymore and it’s bc I bought gta plus then texted me “your life is over” I asked how and he said you’ll find out soon I’m scared bc he has a lot of personal information on me school address names of parents there addresses all that and I’m honestly scared And in the past they’ve said they’d swat me and they’ve said that they’d get me killed I’ve been seated by them multiple times now and honestly I’m scared I can afford to move and I’m 15 and so are they

Hi I’m flying to New York next week and for the first time every I am flying alone! I’m an extremely nervous and anxious! Will everything be okay ?? I’m just so nervous!

Hello! I'm from Russia and I sometimes deal with a very heartbreaking thing. People on the internet seem to be celebrating the suffering of people. I saw a post after the Crocus City Hall attack "every Russian must die this way". When there was a tornado in Sochi there was a comment "I wish nature will rise against Russia as well", there is a flood going on right now in Ural regions and I saw a post "I hope the flood will make all Russians drown". I feel very heartbroken because of this. I feel ashamed of just being Russian. And also this thing with spelling "ruzzia" just gets me to the point I want to kill myself here and now. All of that just make me hate myself yet such things are all over the internet and I can't even work without getting at least an ad like this, it will happen no matter what.

Everybody who knew me as a kid knows how badly I’ve always wanted to be in a band. I trained and played in jazz bands throughout high school, then put my instrument away for a few years to go to university and start my career. Now, at age 24, I’m finally in a band making the type of music I love and I’m thriving! I’m so, so happy.

My band has had a few live shows and we have an instagram. I post pictures of our live shows and put things on my story like “check out [band name]” so everybody knows it’s a thing. I’ve had some awesome support from the newer friends I’ve made over the last year (I moved and made some new friends in my new area, but still stay close to my old friends) who follow the instagram, come to shows, comment online, etc. but it really hurts to see my older friends, the ones who knew how BADLY I’ve always wanted this, not even following my instagram or liking the posts related to my band.

One of my friends has been in my life for over twenty years. We grew up like sisters, yet she doesn’t even follow the account or like the stories I put up related to it. Zero support. I’ve been trying to focus on the amazing support I’m getting from other places, but this one truly hurts me. I know she doesn’t have to support me, but it still hurts.

I'm so incredibly down and fed up. For the longest time I've been wanting to do some long term traveling. I work remotely now and can work from anywhere, so I decided to leave my flat (I wanted to leave anyway, insane neighbours), travel to Spain by motorbike and live in Portugal for 3 months. After those 3 months were up, I had a ferry booked to take me to Ireland so I could explore there. After that I wasn't sure.

This took probably 4 months of solid planning and preparation. I set everything up myself, booked an airbnb for 3 months, moved out of the flat completely by myself, biked 450 miles to my parents house and packed everything I needed into my bike luggage. I then left to catch the ferry.

I was driving for about 1.5 hours and stopped at a service station to drink some water. While waiting to join back to the main road, someone rear ended me really hard. They thought I'd already gone onto the road and I guess had their head turned away looking for oncoming traffic so that they could pull out too. The bike was wrecked and I was sent flying, my belongings were strewn out on the road. I was terrified once I realised what happened and that I was laying down helpless in a road with a 70mph limit. I thought I was going to die, but thankfully no cars were coming.

After getting the bike recovered, I went to A&E. I had no major injuries, but I am in pain all over. My knees and neck are especially hurting.

Now I'm at a complete loss at what to do. Everything was planned out and going so smoothly. I can cancel the airbnb, but I'll be out £1000 on the booking. The ferry was a £300 ticket and the Ireland ferry was a €600 ticket. My laptop I bought specifically for the trip was £1300. I'm at my parents house now, but I can't stay here long term. I'm stuck in limbo with no place of my own.

I really thought something nice was finally going to happen for me. My last holiday was ruined because of a virus. The holiday before that I came home early because it was 40c weather and I couldn't sleep.

I'm 36 with no family of my own, no partners ever. I've given up on a normal life but I thought I could at least make the most of it and travel. Apparently the universe just fucking hates me and wants me to be miserable no matter what. Sometimes I don't think there's anything left I should do now except hide somewhere until I die, since there really doesn't seem to be any point in trying to do things. 18 years I've been riding motorbikes with no big accidents, but apparently it just had to happen when I had the most to lose.

I know I'm lucky to be alive, and to not have any major injuries or to be disabled. So people keep telling me. I know that is true, yes I'm glad I'm ok, but I'm still fucking miserable about everything getting ruined.

tw for abuse and whatnot. i’m sorry i’m so desperate for help at this point, it hurts so bad right now

there’s a lot to it but the tldr is i was abused and she completely got away with it.

to so many people, i know they believe my abusers story that i was an insane, violent child to some poor christian mother that eventually went to live in a different household. the whole “i was just so sad to give up my child but it was for the safety of my other child” bullshit when in reality i was being extremely emotionally abused, physically abused, fucking tortured even during my visits with her after i left the home as a child. i literally have photos and records of the abuse but none of it matters because i didn’t know or trust anyone to share it with as a kid and my mother meanwhile was manipulative to the point of provoking me to set me up for getting “evidence” of me being “crazy”.

i logically understand that i am safe now, it is over, and frankly i am living a way better life than she probably ever will. but she does have people in her life still who probably fully believe the innocent christian mother facade and probably pity her poor story to whoever she probably shares it to. i know it’s not good for me to invest my energy in this but i do check her social media here and there and she posted the other day about some wholesome thing my sibling did for her, and of course it just has likes and positivity, to other people it’s just some mom making a “wholesome” post about her kid to everyone else. like all the other posts on her account.

i wonder if she genuinely believes her own lies? some were so deliberately and blatantly false, i’m not sure how a person could do that.

i got in contact with my younger sibling briefly through message, sent follow up messages just trying to be present in their life (ex happy birthday) and whatnot after that but never hear back and eventually got blocked with no apparent reason. sibling is almost an adult so i hope they are safe, but it hurts knowing that there’s really nothing more i can do. my mom successfully has her isolated, sibling’s father also hasn’t been in the picture for a while under questionable circumstances that make me worry/suspect it was also manipulation on my moms end. i won’t get into detail but it’s much more than projection of my experience, if you knew the details you’d likely also have the same concerns

i’m in therapy, i have friends and a great life outside of this and invest in myself, i am highly overachieving for my age, but i cannot seem to get over this. it’s been long enough that none of the cells in my body now were ever touched by her, yet the memories remain and the situation as it is now makes me feel so powerless, unbelieved, shamed, and upset.

what is there to do at this point? i feel trapped in either staying miserable forever or accepting that she really did get away with it, that i am powerless to her and no one knows or would believe me. a big part of me doesn’t want to go on like this. can someone please tell me i’m not alone, save me with some magical insight that’ll make it all okay? i can’t do this

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I'm a senior in high school who's been dealing with depression and anxiety since the pandemic. It's definitely not easy and I wake up every day knowing that it's not always going to be easy to push through. I'm also dealing with the fact that it's my last month of high school, which makes me a little bit sad.

With that being said, I cleaned my room yesterday! It's not perfect of course-there are a few more things that I have to put away. But! I can walk across the floor without sidestepping clothes now, and it's all just very pleasant to look at. I put up some new decorations because it was looking a little drab, too.

It made me realize how much I genuinely like it in here. I have a salt lamp, a cool window, a ton of books, etc. It makes me happy. But I'll only get to spend a few more months in here before I go off to college. So I'm thinking to myself, why couldn't I have made this change sooner? I feel like I wasted so much time being depressed. It took some effort to make myself clean yesterday, but I feel so good now that it's done!

I just want to feel happy about my effort and success. But now it's making me even more sad and I feel like I can't fully enjoy it.

I currently started a new relationship (been with my bf for 1 year) I’m a mom of a 16 yr old boy and my bf has a 3 yr old boy. I’ve been single for a really long time and enjoy my quiet space , me and my 16 yr old are pretty much quiet as well, I surround myself with adults who are kid less or kids who are already grown. With that, I find myself getting overstimulated, little agitated and energy feeling drained when I spend time with my bf and his 3 yr old on his said weekends with his son. It’s too chaotic and I don’t know how to not overstimulate myself, it’s the yelling, the messes, the not listening and throwing tantrums and I know that’s completely normal for small children, I just can’t help catching anxiety and feeling overwhelmed by it.

I haven’t surrounded myself with young children since my son was smaller, and even before that I didn’t grow up with smaller children around. Now that I’m past that phase in my life I find myself getting irritated being in settings around smaller children. The loud noises, the screaming the crying, the messes , the tantrums overstimulate and annoy me. Feeling this way makes me feel like a complete asshole.

I’ve been putting the effort to spend time with my bf, his son and his family, but it’s been chaotic, today took a toll on me and I want to pull back on going when he invites me to family affairs on his weekends with his son at the moment. Is it okay to not want to be around that? why do I feel this way? I feel like an asshole wanting to pull away from spending QT time with my bf and his son, I know my bf will eventually notice and it would destroy me If he ever felt the energy of me not wanting to be around because it’s too much for me.

I love being a mom, I loved experiencing all phases of my son’s life and I stayed with one child for a reason.

How can I approach this in a better light?

Thank you for taking the time to read this..

i last posted on here about my grandpa and a lot has happened

he’s home now and getting his meds soon!

though a few days ago we were all really worried, he was hallucinating and seeing things including: jesus with his arm around another jesus, pink spiders,the village people, his dead dad and my grandmas brother. so initially i was worried because similar things happened to my grandad who ended up with dementia caused by a bad infection he had or something (i was young so things were kept from me)

it only turns out this was happening because he was accidentally overdosing codeine for two weeks

he takes codeine for his arthritis in his feet, he took a box with him when he went to a&e two weeks ago because he’d be there a while waiting and there’s hard chairs and what have u and when they kept him in, he obviously kept the box… the nurses were coming and giving him codeine and then he took his dose he normally took, so that whole time he was tripping 💀

this only came to light on friday when my grandma was there when they gave him his meds, and 30 mins later he was trying to take another and she told him that he just had some and it occurred to here that evening when she was back home what was happening so she went straight to call the hospital and surprise surprise after they made sure that stopped, saturday he was much better and more like his old self and today he was discharged and has gone home

i genuinely don’t know how that even happened because you’d think they’d be monitoring him but apparently not🤷🏻‍♂️

he’s home now tho and a team of people who specialise in heart failure at all that will go to his house and look after him there just while he’s new on the meds and stuff

p.s thank you for the reassuring words on my last post it really did help me out when i needed it

Lol idk what to put in the title but i guess I'm here just to vent a lil Oka so I (13F) have been feeling really depressed lately, am just more tired than usually, all i wanna do is stay in my room and talk to my two online bsfs: Darwin(15F) and Yui(14M) ofc i aint gonna use their real names just their nicknames, okay so this all started aboutta let's say 1-2 weeks ago. I'm on break from school but usually when i do have school, my schedule is like this: wake up at 6AM for the bus, get to school, at 2:30PM get home from school, then relax in my bed. My sister has 1year and 10 months and as all babies she likes to explore and sometimes talks, it's okay for her to be like that but my mother(40F) who we will just call C has been really pushy for me to stay with my sister 24/7, like bathe her, feed her, dress her etc etc, i don't think it's fair tbh, she sees my condition and that's really fucked up from her, so back to my schedule, when i get home from school she dosent even let me take a break cuz i need to stay with my sister and you might be like «duhh you need to help your mum w/your sis» and i do help her but i have an older brother(15M) who does absolutely nothing and he dosent get hit or scolded, only i need to help her and ion understand why, i find comfort in my bsfs because they have been there for me more than my mother has been and i am considering to keep low contact with C when i'll move out for high school, because lol i really want to go to an american high school lol bcs it's cool and like i want to get away from her, okay now another problem i have is that my bsfs seem to get bored of me, my first bsf Darwin, i've known her since the summer of 2023, and Yui uh i guess since the attum of 2023, truth be told i was inlove with Darwin because she's so gentle and funny and caring and she's so beautifull and all that, kinda confessed but she's dumb lol and didn't take me seriously and don't get me wrong i had a chance cuz she's bi, when I on the other hand am a big ass lesbian and possibly a demigirl, and that's okay but she got a bf, and i got jealous and we fought and we didn't talk for awhile then things got better cuz i apologised, she also promised she's gonna match w me on dc but she ended up ghosting me for asking her to match then i apologised again n told her ion want to match w her anymore wich was clearly a lie but yeah she also apologised for not telling me she's matching with her bf and we are on good terms now(this all happend in 2023 we are kinds find now) then my boy bsf (we are a trio lol) got a gf and he dosent want to introduce her to us and it's okay lol but i have ADHD so i asked them to help me with a situation: so my fav webcomic is Boy gf and it's really cool, it's aboutta a guy who begged his bsf to pretend he's a girl and the bsf accepted and the boy(Kanae)will grant the bsf wishes for each time the bsf(Onyx) will pretend he is a girl then Onyx's father found out and he's abusive af so like he hit Onyx with a bottle made out of glass and Kanae found Onyx and took Onyx at Kanaes hone with Onyx's mums permission,and then Onyx wanted Kanae to make him forget everyth and Kanae was Shu(he is super dumb lol) and then he cuddled a sad Onyx to sleep lol then the next day Onyx left his house and left a note for Kanae not to look for him then our boy Kanae went stalker mode and found out what collage Onyx went to and he inrolled there and that wloud pass on as a coincidence but our boy Kanae is super talanted at basketball and he cloud have went in a good ass collage but yk stalkers and he met Onyx and Kanae almost kissed Onyx but then Onyx liked and told Kanae he is dating Onyx's roomate Kai and yeah i hate him cuz ugh i just do and then Kanae was sad and he met Kais sister and he told her that he came at that collage for a guy that Kai stole from him and she was like «bet bro we're gonna get your bf back from my ugly ahh brother» and then a new chapter released and ugh i didn't read it cuz if Kanae and Onyx won't kiss ima be sad for like a week and if i won't read it ima be sad for a week lol and i might start a hp for that Kai guy/j bur i really hate him, so they ignored me and Darwin asked Yui abt his gf and i was like «wow you care more abt Yuis gf than my problems😔» in a jokey way and she was like «duh» and that js made me sad and yeah i didn't talk yo them and am okay-ish now but it still hurts and they didn't even notice i didn't talk to them so yeah gimme some advice, also i searched for a therapist but none ik are free and if my mum find out she won't get me one lol or get me one but be mad at me and am scared cuz ik some cases when the therapist tells everything to the parents so yeah. Also b4 you ask my dad isnt in the pic at all so yh

Im overthinking this situation and idk how to feel better about it.. anyways heres a quick storytime I went to the city with my mother, just to walk around and eat something. We then decided to go home and i saw my two old classmates from old school, and I tell my mom that we should go the other way home and we went the other way. Anyways he followed us just a little bit and then he said out loud " she pretended that she didnt see me " or something like that. I FEEL SO EMBARRASSED RN 😭

About 8 months ago, I met a few people and we all had a group chat. We became the best of friends, laughed at each other about jokes, hung out at malls, and went to each other's houses, etc.. ' Then a few months later, the people inside of the group chat started to ignore me at lunch, online, or even in the hallways. They accused me of liking people and then after a few weeks I would drop them. But that's not true, as I know that all human beings tend to like people, then change their feelings (sometimes). They didn't mention this really until the rumor had spread and that made others hate me more. They started planning out their plans in front of me (in the gc), discussed about their funny experiences, and started replacing me (at least in my perspective). My ex - best friends soon realized they didn't want me in the group chat anymore and kicked me out. I now have very few friends and I can't seem to find anybody else like them who are funny or just in general humorous. I still feel like I miss them and something inside me just seems to want them back, but still I know they aren't the nicest of all. Any advice/tips?

Disclaimer: I’m not trying to minimize my actions, or deny wrongdoing. I know I fucked up. I can understand those who want to shame me, or ride their ethical high horse, but I’m really just looking for a lifeline to avoid what could be pretty life-altering consequences.
I recently took an online proctored exam through Pearson and I admittedly had a piece of paper taped to the side of my monitor. My exam got terminated because when they asked to see my desk they saw a pen (unintentional, I think I was fidgeting with it), and upon subsequent review of the recording they told me they saw what looked like a piece of paper on the left side of my screen.
If you were a credentialing bureau, and I told you I had a piece of paper to cover screen distractions (app icons on the dock of my computer, exam timer, etc.) OR that I had used a glare shield - what would you say?
Thoughts? Advice? What would you do?
Again, I’m not looking to be ridiculed. I’m in the wrong and I get it. My life will be derailed if this escalates and I’m hoping for a miracle.

Ok so we have done counseling and are so much more connected now than ever, but we have 4 kids and she is touched out. So can’t stand to be touched. I’m so attracted to her and want to hold her and would love to have intimate connection physically with her daily, but now it’s once a month at best. We have a 2 year old so I know it’s seasonal. Idk I guess I’m just venting and need encouragement to stay strong and not give in to lust anywhere outside my marriage. If you’ve ever been in a similar situation, what do you do when you’re extremely turned on and your SO is not interested? I’m physically fit and she says it’s not that she doesn’t find me attractive but it’s hard not to get discouraged and be tempted to look elsewhere for physical confirmation. I’m determined to stay faithful, but I’d be lying if I said this lack of physical affection didn’t make it an internal fight.

I have pretty severe health anxiety, and maybe not full-on agoraphobia, but definite agoraphobic tendencies. I ordered an Uber to go to a dental exam I was incredibly anxious about going to for no reason and got dropped off at the wrong spot shortly before I had the appointment. I’m also very out of shape.

The combination of increased heart rate from walking there and my already existing nerves ended up in a full-blown panic attack where my entire body was shaking and I almost called 911 worried I’d have a heart attack. I ended up getting there on time but spent ten minutes just trying to calm down in the bathroom and decided I just couldn’t do it and called for a ride home. I was too embarrassed to tell the attendant I wasn’t feeling well even though she was just a short walk away that would’ve taken less than a minute.

I’m home now and have taken my rescue medication so while I still feel like hell I’m at least at a slightly more manageable state. Imm so sad and embarrassed that i can’t even do something as simple as a routine exam and cleaning, something I’ve done for literal years. I need to find a new therapist but it feels so hopeless and humiliating for my anxiety to be so debilitating over petty things basically any grown adult should be able to handle.

I don't know where to begin with honestly my closest friend and my ex girlfriend had a long talk with me about the issues about myself.they both told me I have a ego very self centered,a narcissist, full of broken promises and to start taking accountability over the actions I make.l have an idea on what I need to work on but I don't know where to start.do I go to therapy? I'm so confused on what to do and it feels like a lot pressure on me right especially since I've been the same since I was 17 and it's been 3 years now and still the same person.I'm trying to change the way I am for the better now since I don't smoke weed anymore.I'm ashamed that it took me 3 years of my life to start picking up the pace of my life. But I need advise on what I have to do to start changing the habits I have I don't want to stay like this for the rest of my life

My family is at a vacation for 7 days. I'm terribly sick and I don't wanna stay but they won't try to find an earlier flight or let me stay in the hotel room. Does anyone know any way I can get them to let me either stay in bed or just go back to the US? (I'm in the DR, and I have a brother just as desperate as me to leave. If anyone knows any way to leave, please comment or PM me.)

I’m grateful to have a job and roof to live under but fuck has this job just drug me through the mud the last 2 years. Applying to jobs all the time for a shot out of here and I’ll get an interview and nothing comes of it. It’s just the same damn circle over and over again. At this point I’ll take a pay deduction just for something better for me mentally. I came to be doing multiple projects throughout the year and within the first month they stuck me in a project that’s failed before it starts and just keep saying make it work. 2 years later I finally got out of there just for my coworker to quit and I had 2 days to learn his whole damn job so the circle continues of just make it work. My brain is fried, I don’t know what makes me happy anymore. Every time I can get away and not think about it the Sunday scaries hit with the oh fuck you’re gonna be toast this week…again. I’ve had anxiety attacks at work, I just need to get out of here. It’s a wonderful world we live in, happy Monday.

I am a student, 23 y.o, who is soon to be out of money. I've been looking for a job for a half a year and now that I found it I feel like I am simply not qualified enough to perform it. And instead of focusing on the tasks that I am supposed to do, my mind just kinda goes "you will lose this job; you don't know how it's done; if you lose this job your gf will dump you because she earns more and needs someone who can be on at least the same level; you will always be like your jobless father. And then I'd automatically start thinking abour starting to look for another job. It's like a never ending loop of bad thoughts that just undermine my actual performance. I know that it is stupid, but I just cannot control it. Everytime I have to model a new project (I am a 3d artist) I just get overwhelmed and in a few hours I am either crying or just want to kill myself. This is obviusly nothing in comparison to what others are going through, but still it makes me hate myself and it makes me think about suicide. I have called my family and told eveything to my gf and they all were very supportive, but they just dont understand me. (I know how dumb it sounds believe me)

Hi everyone! English isn’t my first language so please bear with me

Im worried is dried semen (cum) potentially having HIV splattered on a clothing still potentially infectious for HIV after 7-8 months ?

I wore this clothing by mistake around 2 hours after getting my blood drawn and its sleeve mistakenly rubbed against where I got my blood drawn

I have an issue with health anxiety that I’m currently recently started seeking therapy for, please try not to judge me😭 I would love to hear any common sense so please feel free to speak to me as frankly as possible I will not feel sensitive or offended

Sorry for the trouble, I’m ignorant about all this and thank you for yalls time and patience

everytime i meet someone new and things start getting good and i make a deep connection that feels like its going somewhere, i think of my ex. he was the sweetest person in the whole world to me, and we made- i felt like we had made a soul to soul connection, but after 5 long months together of intense love and then ghosting for a few days followed by more love, another ghost, a apology, no explanation, then more love, ect. our last month together, he was gone for a 6 days, then came back to say that i was the love of his life and that hed do anything to keep me and a lot of other lovely things and promises, just like before, but then on one friday, he said, "i cant handle this, we just need to be friends." then i saw him with another boy a day later.

i feel like trash, a literal wrapper, thrown into the bin once the joy of the food is worn. i cant stop thinking of him and how he treated me, i want love, but honest love, but now i cant bring myself to trust. and many times, despite how much i hate him, if he texted he loved me and wanted to be together again, i would do that. thats why now, more than in the past, i dont really trust myself.

Living as a gay man in a conservative Middle Eastern community isn’t easy, especially when you’re figuring out who you are. At 17, I was full of questions about my identity and needed someone who got it. That’s when I met a friend who was maybe facing the same struggles. We clicked, and it felt like we were on the same wavelength.

Things escalated quickly with my friend, and one day, we just kissed. It was unexpected, no words needed. I asked if he was out to anyone else, and he said it was his first time too.

But within weeks, it felt like the whole school was in on my secret. The bullying started, and it was brutal, especially with finals around the corner. I had big plans for my future, and I wasn’t going to let this stop me. So, I shook off the noise and hit the books hard.

Post-exams, I had to make a tough call and cut off my BF. He lied, kept secrets, and wouldn’t clear the air. Even my friends were like, “You’re not the type to get into trouble,” but they didn’t give me the full story either. Trust became a rare commodity, and I started doubting everyone.

University was my chance to hit the reset button. I was ready for a new chapter, but the past had left its mark—I was more vulnerable and insecure than ever.

Fast forward to 2019, end of my second year in uni, my ex hit me up. He said he missed me and needed help with English. I was still not over him, so I agreed to help. We met up at his place to study, but things took a turn, and we ended up getting intimate. It was my first time, and honestly, it left me feeling all kinds of confused. We saw each other a couple more times that month, but then I pulled away again because he refused all my attempts to talk about us and what's going on between us.

That summer, I chose work over summer classes. We were in the middle of a family financial crisis, and I wanted to do my part. It was a rough patch, not just because of the money stress, but also because I felt out of touch with what was happening with others and  what challenges were coming my way.

By the end of 2019, in my third year, I noticed a shift. People were treating me differently, calling me names, and some even tried to take advantage of me. It was a tough time, and I felt harassed and alone.

Then, I found out a screenshot of a private conversation had been leaked. My ex, who I thought I could trust, had shared it with a group he was part of. They knew everything about me, and I was kept in the dark. One of them, driven by spite, decided to spread rumors because I was doing well academically. It was a betrayal that hit hard, especially since one of the group members had pretended to be a friend since my first year.

The betrayal left me with zero trust in others. I felt judged just for being me, and the violation was so deep it was hard to believe. Paranoia crept in, and I started to close off from the world, turning into an introvert with no interest in making friends or pursuing relationships.

As 2020 rolled in with the pandemic, isolation became the norm. For me, it was a double-edged sword. It meant hiding away from the world without confronting my past or healing. I was lost, with no motivation and no one to talk to about everything that had happened.

In 2021, I found a new job and threw myself into it. Work became my escape, turning me into a workaholic, avoiding the issues I hadn’t dealt with.

Graduating in 2022, I was running on empty. Architecture school had taken its toll, and I crossed the finish line of graduation just barely. Post-grad life hit me hard. I was adrift, without close friends or anyone to confide in. Questions about my identity and my past left me feeling stuck, with no clear direction.

I gave journaling a shot and tried meeting new folks, but it didn’t do much for me. So, I started digging into what went down in 2019. Fast forward to 2023, I bumped into someone who casually mentioned being wronged by his competitive boyfriend. This guy was from my school, and as he talked, the pieces fell into place. It turns out he was behind the rumors about me in 2017 and 2019. Realizing this truth hit me hard, snapping me out of denial and forcing me to face reality.

The past six years came crashing down on me, leading to a mental breakdown. Now at 24, I’ve embraced who I am, but there’s this nagging feeling of lost time. I long for the days when I could’ve freely explored life and made friends like I would have at 18 or 19. This void in my life is overwhelming. Some days, it feels like too much to bear. Coming to terms with everything I’ve endured feels surreal, and I’m still learning how to cope with it all.

Hi all, just gonna kind of start type rambling here. Sorry if this is really long.

I am 18 and a dude and college is rapidly approaching. I have all sorts of negative feelings wrapped up in that right now that I am going to try to express.

tl;dr: I am stressed about not being able to find an identity in college. I feel like I am being pressured to go to a school that doesn't really want me. I feel like I am in a society that doesn't really want me. I wish that I was not a man. I feel like I don't really have a place that I belong in this world.

First thing is college. I feel so so stressed about college. I have grown up in a household that expects me to go to college. All of my parents expect I will go to college, my sister does too. I am totally fine with that, it is even something that I want to do. I want to have the college experience and get away from home. But the problem is that I don't really have a whole lot of great opportunities to get in cheaply. I am a white male, I am not a first generation student and the fafsa deems me to be unworthy of financial aid, even though I am not really going to be getting parental assistance on those things. I am a high achiever in school but not a best achiever. I am 9th in my class. So I haven't found ANY scholarship opportunities except a couple of pitifully insignificant compared to cost ones. That leaves loans. And I have put some thought into it and whatever, needing to pay back hilariously high loan costs restricts me a little bit because I have to make sure that whatever job I get pays well afterwards, not much room to experiment. But that's fine I can pay back loans some day even if its by the time I turn 80. But it leaves me feeling like I am not really wanted by any of these schools that I have applied to. I am not worth enough for schools to offer any kind of incentive to me even though I have put in so much time and effort into my high school courses. And that is because there are a lot of people like me out there. Plenty of kind of OK dipshits that they can toss in if they need more students. But my family expects that I absolutely will go. And it kind of just leaves me feeling like I am being forced somewhere that does not want me. But overall college hasn't really been the primary stressor to me lately, its just kind of amplified things.

I have been feeling really bad about who I am and my kind of identity in the world. Like I said, I am a dude. I don't like being a dude. And a lot of that is because of all of the stupid gender role stereotypes and over focus on sex and gender that we have in our society. Obviously this isn't a strict rule but there are a few gender stereotypes that seem to be expected of males. Gotta be the big strong beefy dude who is just a complete beefcake or the super brilliant computer wizard/engineer who knows everything. A lot of emphasis seems to be placed on either brawn or logical reasoning rather than emotional reasoning or pathos. That, at least where I live represents most of what is expected of males. I don't know if that holds true in a whole lot more places. That is why I have always felt like I would feel happier if I was born as a woman. My whole being, the way that I am would be way more socially acceptable, and I know I would feel happier. But that thought alone has all sorts of social connotations with major consequences. I feel trapped in my nasty body. I am really tall, I am kind of overweight, I have some pretty good muscle, and I feel like such a gross piece of shit. I feel big and out of place. I am not happy in my body. I have never really said or typed that out before but its been true for a very long time. I have often made avatars for characters in the games I play, like minecraft that are very feminine. Mostly thats a very private thing to me but my brother has found out and I have faced endless ridicule from him. So now I can't do that. I feel so wrong on that front. I want to be softer as a human being and that just isn't a thing I can do. That has me at my next issue too.

I don't really feel like I can belong anywhere socially. I have not found a social community that I can really truly feel like a part of. I really don't get a lot of the more stereotypically male social activities, I just don't understand. But I can't really hang out with too many other people because again, everyone is very cliquey based on weird social standards they come up with. So weird tall boy must hang out with the other boys. I feel like going in to college I am going to really struggle to find any communities that I can fit in with and be a part of happily. I don't want to be part of any super boisterous jock groups and I generally find the obsessed with logic geniuses to be upsetting as well. Right now I do belong to a couple social groups. I am the captain of my speech and debate team and have been for three years. Despite being a part of that for so long though and a leader I don't really feel like I belong. Even though I know I have support in my friends on the team I know I can't actually be myself around them or express what my true feelings about myself are. I am just kind of stuck there.

The group I have felt I most belong to though is my dnd group. These are my friends that I have had since elementary school, before we all became aware of weird social standards. So I can be closer to myself around them even if I feel I am not expressing my true self. We used to do dnd all the time and I never played any female characters or anything for fear of judgement but I was maybe hoping to at some point. I love them more than anyone else I am around really. And I know that those are the people who would continue to love me if I did anything. I know they love me right now. But guess what? We hardly ever get to talk because all three of them are in college right now. They are so busy. We haven't played dnd in around 6 months, I have only intermittently talked to anybody. And they all seem more interested in other activities when they aren't busy. And I think that is totally fine that they want to do other things, that's what college is for, I would never ever blame them for that. But regardless I still wish I could hang out with them more, that is a selfish wish.

My concern as I go into college though is that I will completely lose any chance at maintaining any social group like that. I won't belong. And like I was talking about when talking about college earlier. I don't really feel like the college experience is something that I am meant for. For women there are lots of social activities and support systems in place. And for other males there are lots of other masculine things to do as well. I dont belong to any of it. I wont have a place to be. I dont know how to fix or help any of these things at all. I dont know how to feel better about myself and my identity. I do not know how to get more involved. I do not know how to love myself or to be a better person. I don't really feel like society or the world around me actually wants me or has a place for me. I don't know how to make a place for myself. Right now I am sitting in my chair at 1:30 AM clutching a stuffed plushie cat and I feel kind of pathetic about it. Thank you for reading this if you did. I am sorry.

You all aren't wrong about it feeling ok to write stuff down. Still feel terrible but its good to just ramble.

I've been home from uni for the past month and I'm finally going back tomorrow. I've been telling her I miss her a lot and she's been asking when I'm back and things and it sounded like she missed me a lot too. So I just asked her if we can do something tomorrow night or Sunday and well she doesn't seem to want to. She said she's probably gonna be busy but maybe we could in a few days time instead. And I get it if she's got work to do or something but I've been asking if we could do something over the weekend when I'm back for a while and I've been really looking forward to it so I'm kinda really sad rn.

I think I get overly attached to people too tbh. It's my fault but ughhh I'm so sad