/r/ShittyLifeProTips

Photograph via snooOG

A place for the shittiest, most mocking "pro-tips" you can think of. Whether you want to let us know how glue can help out your hair or the quickest way to clog a public toilet, we're the place to post.



A place for the shittiest, most mocking "pro-tips" you can think of. Whether you want to let us know how glue can help out your hair or the quickest way to clog a public toilet, we're the place to post.

If your post does not appear in the new tab after several minutes, it may have been caught by our spam filter. If this happens, send a message to the mods and we'll get it fixed up for you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHAT IS A LIFE PRO TIP? A Life Pro Tip (or LPT) is a tip that improves life for you and those around you in a specific and significant way. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rules:

1. LPTs must be shitty. The post must contain a life pro tip that is shitty. This isn't a dumping ground for shitty statements. Any tips that are actual good advice will be removed at the discretion of the mod team. What constitutes shitty is hard to explain, but much like porn, we know it when we see it.

2. No KYS posts. We will remove all posts with the tip "Kill Yourself" or any variation thereof.

3. No reposts. Reposts are lame. If you repost something within our top 25 of all time, you may be banned.

4. No circlejerking. Circlejerking is lame too. Simply copying a popular post from here, or LPT and putting a minor twist so it's "shitty" is also unoriginal, and we will probably remove those too.

5. NSFW discretion. Being gross for the sake of being gross will get your post removed at the mod's discretion. Most of these include bodily functions and fluids, or rape, etc. Pretty much anything posted simply for shock value.

6. Remain civil. If you act like a racist, pammer, or are being a general douchenozzle, the mods reserve the right to ban you without warning.


Note: For God's sake this subreddit is meant to be taken in a joking, satirical manner. Please don't actually follow any of this advice, and don't report posts as inciting violence. You should know this already, but some of you forget which sub you are in when you report.


A proud member of The Shitty Network.

/r/ShittyLifeProTips

1,670,955 Subscribers

3

SLPTL: Drive with your hazards on. You'll never need to use your turn signal and you'll be able to change lanes any time you want, legally.

2 Comments
2024/12/01
02:28 UTC

2

SLPT: If your smoke detector is broken and false alarming, burn it! Then the alarm isn't false anymore!

0 Comments
2024/11/30
23:09 UTC

6

SLPT: If something's blocking the fire exit, burn it to get it out of the way.

Whoever placed the item there has "lost" it because it's now burned to a crisp, and that's the penalty for blocking the exit. What's left of it will be easier to move as well. And since it's already burned, no one will object if you chop up the remains with an axe.

0 Comments
2024/11/30
23:05 UTC

3

SLPT: Did you cook a dry turkey? Vacuum seal the moisture right back in!

Dry turkey is the enemy, but you can make it juicy again! Simply carve the turkey into pieces, heat up the turkey to open up the pores, then put that, and some turkey broth or stock (unsalted), in a vacuum bag. Proceed to suck out all the air with the vacuum pump and squeeze the juices into the turkey. Let it stand in the fridge for any hour or so and BAM!

Turkey so moist you can use it to fix your ashy skin.

I have belatedly saved your leftovers from the annals of the trash heap, you're welcome.

6 Comments
2024/11/30
15:57 UTC

12

SLPT easily double your money by taking it to a casino

14 Comments
2024/11/30
07:51 UTC

13

SLPT: You can sanitize your toilet brush by putting it in the dishwasher

4 Comments
2024/11/30
05:35 UTC

4,363

SLPT: Reverse your window A/C unit to cool the outside and reduce global warming

24 Comments
2024/11/29
16:17 UTC

664

SLPT: Falconry

6 Comments
2024/11/29
11:57 UTC

0

SLPT: turn orange juice into grapefruit juice

If you ever wanted some grapefruit juice just open a bottle of orange juice take a few sips then leave it sit in the fridge for 3 months it will start to rot and ferment and turn into nasty ass tasting grapefruit juice who the fuck would want grapefruit juice

0 Comments
2024/11/29
00:41 UTC

5,742

SLPT: Top tip to calm a baby

13 Comments
2024/11/28
15:25 UTC

717

SLPT: Magic words to calm a furious girlfriend

21 Comments
2024/11/28
12:50 UTC

14

SLPT: Dirty toilet? Visitors coming?

Don't spend all that time cleaning it - unscrew the lightbulb!

6 Comments
2024/11/28
04:50 UTC

23

SLPT: Don't let your age get in the way of your love life! Go to your local smut shop and pick up some edible Depends™ today!

1 Comment
2024/11/28
04:28 UTC

279

SLPT: Big brain, excess digits

2 Comments
2024/11/28
00:51 UTC

25

SLPT: Never take an elevator if you need to shit

The risk of an elevator breaking down is low, but never zero.

9 Comments
2024/11/27
22:28 UTC

1,664

SLPT: Be close to God

4 Comments
2024/11/27
21:00 UTC

923

SLPT: Save yourself from credit card bills

1 Comment
2024/11/27
19:17 UTC

18

SLPT: sick of hard butter? Put your fridge on a wifi controlled outlet. Set an alarm for 1:00AM, and open your phone to turn the plug off. You'll have spreadable butter at breakfast time!

7 Comments
2024/11/27
13:50 UTC

2,014

SLPT: How to have a hands free umbrella

44 Comments
2024/11/26
21:50 UTC

784

SLPT: Homemade waterproof socks

19 Comments
2024/11/26
20:42 UTC

7,963

SLPT: Follow me for more recipes

38 Comments
2024/11/26
20:17 UTC

141

SLPT: Say no more to small screens and fonts

3 Comments
2024/11/26
17:37 UTC

262

SLPT: I show this screenshot whenever someone asks me for money

In Burger unit, 0.38 Indian Rupees (INR) is approximately 0.0046 USD (US Dollars)

4 Comments
2024/11/26
16:34 UTC

18

SLPT: Refer to everyone you encounter as Dummy.

Alright dummy, I’ll lay this out for you. If you casually refer to everyone as dummy, you’ll automatically be seen as the smartest and most powerful person in the room. It’s an endearing term, and your friends and coworkers will love you for it. Understand, dummy? Obviously if anyone calls YOU dummy, you’ll have to get furious and possibly fight them.

7 Comments
2024/11/26
11:58 UTC

12

SLPT: make your own butter with powdered milk and margarine

  1. Melt margarine
  2. Add milk powder and mix
  3. Refrigerate again
2 Comments
2024/11/26
01:26 UTC

419

SLPT: Dress for the weight you want, not the weight you have.

6 Comments
2024/11/25
18:42 UTC

7,954

SLPT: One Rattlesnake bite a day keeps the wrinkle away

46 Comments
2024/11/25
18:36 UTC

76

SLPT: pretend you’re in a televised quiz show when checking into a hotel, by quickly ringing the bell before answering each of the receptionist’s questions

1 Comment
2024/11/25
11:08 UTC

1

SLPT. You can remove freckles by just having a catastrophic injury.

8 Comments
2024/11/25
00:41 UTC

1,324

SLPT: Disappointed With Your Child?

12 Comments
2024/11/24
10:49 UTC

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