`15 f, ive struggeld with anger my hole life but i think theres more to it, when i get angry i say the most evil things ever, the other day my mum complimented my hair (i get triggerd by compliments becusae i feel like their always a lie) i got so mad i said i hope she gets r@ped again, i also made threats on how i wuld kill her and in detail too... i am not a violent person, and i never ever mean any of the things that come out of my mouth, thankfullly my mum knows this so she dosnt get as hurt as a starnger would but i hate myself so much for it, i love my mum and i dont know why i become a dif person when im angry, its like i feel like i have to go to the most extreme lenghs so that she knows im in pain idk i know im a bad person for it but i dont want to be a bad person, i want to love everyone and i dont want to hurt people, i have been in psychotherapy since i was 10 and i have had so many psychs and therapists but nothing helps lol idk why im like this cuz i had a decent childhood both my parents are so nice and dont struggle with anger anyways byeee

It was clearly just to keep the peace, not at all to preemptively absolve themselves of any guilt for allowing people to say what they want to about the election.

It was a really great idea for them to take away the rant sub. It shows such devotion and appreciation for all of Reddit's users who are the only reason that the site makes money for anyone and it totally doesn't show that no one who makes money off of Reddit doesn't give a single shit about the users

Why is murdering a bully or overall terrible person wrong? We all die one day so I see taking someone who adds nothing positive to the world out a little early as a public service, if more people got killed for being mean, the world would be a better place

Sorry, this is a long post, full of venting as well. And I'm also one of these people who needs to describe everything in details as I'm always afraid of people not getting the full context. But I guess writing in here will hopefully help me sharing my experience with like-minded people. For context I am male,39.

I am not a violent person, I could never filter my anger on taking physical harm against someone else. I'm all peace. However, it does not mean I don't feel anger. I do, and whenever I start getting angry at someone I started boiling plans on how I can get back to them, revenge either by saying nasty words and humiliating them or trying to cause some damage somehow (embarrassing them in front of someone or compromising their job, whatever as long as it does not get back to me). This doesn't happen often, only when the person does me wrong.

In fact I'm a super nice guy in general. I go beyond and above my ways to help people and be kind to them. But I guess some people see that as a weakness and try to take advantage of you and that's when it makes me mad the most.

So this past month I'd say it has been crazy the amount of IDIOTS that contribute to the state I am now.

Idiot #1 : this guy at work is absolutely worthless. Doesn't deliver at all and compromises the thing for the entire team. And seeing him trying to bs his way through it gives me second-hand embarrassment because he's so bad at lying. Well, he only gets me slightly annoyed with his incompetence but it's not the end of the world. In fact, it's even an advantage for me as since we have the same role in the company, he makes me look extremely competent and awesome by just doing the bare minimum lol. But yeah, working with someone so stupid, from time to time gets into you

Idiot #2: we had a road trip a month ago. My boyfriend and me paid most of the stuff : gas, airbnb, groceries and we just agreed to share all the cost later between us, and the other 3 friends that went. One of those friends is a guy who studies with me at uni. He just recently moved into the country and because of that he does not have setup yet a bank account and the phone payment system everyone in here uses. I said it's no big deal. He can either paypal me or give in cash. He said "I'll pay you this week" . 2 weeks have been gone and not only no payment from him to me and my boyfriend but also just silence, not a word. I know he's not gonna scam me, he's from Japan...Japanese people are all about their honor lol. But then, what's up bro? Give me some news or something. I had to do the unpleasant task of reminding him about the payment. Apparently he also had issue with paypal to confirm his identity to do an international transfer and was too embarrassed to say something or whatever. But c'mon...be smart, dead silence is NOT the solution. It just makes everything weird

Idiot #3: Another guy in my class, I am doing assignment with (the teacher selects the pairs). On a master's degree programme and this guy is absolute worthless too. Doesn't know basic stuff, doesn't know how to write a report. Then I spend more time trying to helping him catch up and that slows me down. So still, because I'm nice, I take my time to go meet him at uni, so we can sit together and I explain stuff to him. I don't have to do that, I have a full time job, together with a full time master degree, I'm hella busy. And then he's texting on his phone with his girlfriend while I'm sitting there doing stuff and explaining things to him? Man, I can do this shit with my eyes closed from home, but Im here wasting my time for you and you're involved in some drama with your greasy girlfriend that I couldn't care less? F*** you (here, the anger is building up again)

Idiot #4: planning a trip with my husband, I basically have to do all the planning otherwise he'll fuck up something...book wrong date of airbnb, forget some bus we need to book...whatever...and if I do ask him to take care of it, he'll confirm every little step of the way with me and ask a thousand questions (because he knows he'll fuck up). It's really annoying. But hey, he's my husband I loved him and I dedicate extra patience with him

Idiot #5: Last month I booked a vet consultation for my recently adopted cat but during the day of the trip to the vet I had issues taking him there (he's still not trusting humans and don't let people grab him to put in the carrier) . So I asked the vet if they had a suggestion of in-house visitation to which they did and suggested me to call this other vet. So I did. I explained her the situation. Then she came all the way and she wasn't able to do shit because surprise surprise, the cat got super stressed around her and did not let her touch him. And she acted surprise on that and in the end couldn't proceed with the plan to collect samples from him. But charges us for the visit anyway. Are u stupid? The whole reason to call you was because we can't handle the cat so we would expect you had a plan for that. We managed with another clinic to get a proper consultation and luckily the cat was fine, but yeah...the wasted money on that in-home visit...

Idiot #6: I saw a guy on a fb community. He comes from the same country as me and is struggling with money and was looking for anything, any kind of work that would give him some financial relief on his studies here. Since I have the means to help I thought about having him as our catsitter for when we are away for an upcoming trip.And I'd pay him much more than a catsitter would charge. So I messaged him about it. He agreed and was happy. Of course I'd want to meet him first, to get to know the person who'd take care of my cats. We went for a coffee, I explained the ins and outs of what to do and etc. Everything normal. This we were doing well in advance, about 4 weeks before my trip. I wanted him to come to my place to see some practical stuff and also get the key. His communication was slow but finally we manage to schedule for him to come on the weekend, 5 days prior to the trip. Dude got on the wrong bus , despite of me giving exact directions and bus number to my place (don't you know how to use maps?) . Arrived 40 min late which made me cancel another commitment. Once here, I explained everything, gave him the key. Everything seemed fine. Then next morning I get a message from him saying he wouldn't be able to help because apparently "my place is too far". How stupid are u? I gave u my address right in the first interaction and asked if this was okay. You said yes . I spent my time messaging you, discussing arrangements, waiting and explaining things for you when you were here at my place, which at that point he probably already decided to bail, but it is still wasting our time anyway. Now I'm fucked and have 4 days to find someone in a hurry. Not only , I have to probably skip one class or work hours during the week to get my key back from this idiot. This one really takes the cake and I really want to say something nasty to him when I meet him this week to get the key back. His nonchalant attitude towards all of it as if it's no big deal makes it even worse.

So yeah, this has been what my past weeks have been about. One idiot after the other, making my blood slowly boil and really making me wanna switch to interact with cats only rather than people. No more being the nice guy. No more helping people

I'm 21 and everyday I get pissed off at the smallest things. I'm so sick of it., I am known to my family as the angry one or the one who gets pissed off easily. Is there anyways that worked? Even medication?

Hello ,I 18 m,was born in to African American parents with Christan beliefs ,and while I was a kid like most I had corporal punishment when I was bad however there a handful of times where my parents took it too far too the point the cops were called ,recently and my gf 19 was my support system for most of these ,however recently my anger issues have gotten worse and my religious parents are against me getting a therapist ,due to the problems being “family issues “ which hasn’t helped because my girlfriend and I have also been having issues with long distance and this does nothing but make every small inconvenience worse and my anger issues have gotten to the point where I sometimes lash out physically putting me and others in danger and I would prefer to get some help and opinions on this thank you.

Has anyone learned an anger management method that actually works? I’ve found that things like breathing deeply, counting to 4, remove yourself etc don’t really work for me as everything happens so fast once I’m angry. I feel I go from 0 to 100 in a split second. Please share if you’ve tried something and it has worked. Also if you’ve tried a particular anger management program that actually teaches practical advice/methods please share the name/link. Thanks!

I was diagnosed with PTSD when I saw a therapist last year and I'm wondering if anyone has a similar problem as I do. I decided to see a therapist, because I didn't know what was wrong with me.

I have this problem where I am "possessed with hatred" over someone who bullied me or tried to intimidate me. I engage in this odd ritual, (not sure what this is or if it has a medical name), where I bite my hand and imagine violently killing and torturing the person who bullied or intimidated me. I'm not sure how to get rid of this, I just want it to stop.

Hatred is always haunting me. I remember events from my past where I was bullied, intimidated, made fun of, or tricked into doing something without understanding that I was being "played with". Some of these memories are over a decade old.

It always begins with me feeling a strong sense of anger for not standing up for myself when someone bullied or intimidated me. Now it's gotten so bad, if someone honks at me or does something slightly intimidating or tries to make fun of me, I do this "rage ritual" of biting my hand and imaging myself killing them in a very violent way.

Again, I just want this to go away. Does anyone have this problem and if so, what are you doing to treat it? Thanks.

I just got overwhelmed by emotions, and after fighting anger i gave in and smashed my coffee cup by throwing it agains the wall.

After doing it, i dunno, but it felt good in the moment. Now i feel dissapointed in myself, because that was a good cup and now i have to sweep up the broken pieces. I have broken many things this way and i don't know how to stop. It's like smashing stuff is reflex to anger, happens out of my control.

Hey people so for a few years I fell into a deep depression and grew so mad at the world I've made 70 year old military veterans who got fucked by the government tell me to chill. Throughout that and the subsequent getting better (2020 start 2023 starting to improve). Throughout that I've dealt with a lot of people noticing I complain a lot. Also got about 30 times my own family said things along the lines of.

"All you do is bitch."

And variations thereupon in 11 months and it got to the point where my mom was physically on edge all the time with me and I became the reason no one comes over. Sadly even though I cared to get better. I was confused and obviously my family wasn't ok enough with me to educate me vs the casual and unhelpful.

"STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE/POS!"

So here's a guide I made after researching for months with psychologists and personal experiences because I've been a lot of people's angriest person they've ever met. Hopefully it helps anyone.

Complaining-To express dissatisfaction

Complaining positives: •Relate to others •Being able to express oneself •Being able to see how bad your situation actually is •Relief of negative emotions (especially if understood/supported)

Complaining negatives: •People dislike negativity and are apathetic •Can show you don't have a good grasp on your life •Can show you get overly mad about semi trivial issues •Can off put others if you act out of character as far as they know you or talk in ways that make them uncomfortable

How to tell you complain too much:

•Negative conversations: You frequently have negative conversations or ruminate about past events. •Lack of solutions: You talk about problems without seeking solutions. •Negative outlook: You have a negative mood and outlook on life. •Physical symptoms: You experience headaches, fatigue, or muscle tension. •Relationships: Your loved ones may start to avoid you or seem distant. •Feedback: People mention how much you complain. •Communication: You have a negative theme in your text messages and emails. •Attention-seeking: You use complaining to seek attention and sympathy. •Pessimism: You may become a pessimist and decrease your appreciation for good things. •Helplessness: Talking about problems makes you feel helpless or hopeless.

Complaining Vs expressing discontent:

Complaining: •Puts blame on external things •Is very negative •Needs reassurance •Isn't solution based •Generally very uncomforting for others •Repetitive •Pushy •Doesn't accept others opinions

Expressing discontent: •Puts blame on oneself (for feelings even if the thing is external) •Is generally not very negative (can be if it's bad) •Doesn't need assurance •Is solution based •Is rare and contained •Respectful of boundaries in discussing •Is open to others opinions

“You/They/them” vs “I feel”: With addressing others with you (and variations thereupon), it puts the blame on others which is usually not true as well as promotes defensiveness. Unless they are directly responsible AND you're mad to the point of ending that relationship (potentially) do not use accusatory terms. Using “I feel” shifts the responsibility onto oneself and lets the other person/party understand your outlook and emotions. Coming at people accusatory makes them focus more on defense vs actually talking it out. Coming at it honestly and semi vulnerable makes people generally want to show sympathy,listen, and talk it out.

Disclaimer:Be sure to access the person is safe before engaging in this. In the event they were not safe try to understand the potential giveaways of the other person and accept your own responsibility on that. Also isn't the end all be all grain of salt this and combine it with other information to help yourself.

The reason my anger issues are so hard to control is because they’re only triggered by people starting with me. So being able to humble some insufferable douchebag or haggard bitch who goes around insulting strangers because they’ve never been properly verbally abused and scared into respecting others really makes me euphoric, the panic in their eyes when I scream horrific things at the top of my lungs and shamelessly make a massive scene is so entertaining. Wipes the dumb little smirk off their typically hideous faces. I still want help for them as the rumination from them makes me miserable everyday, but making people meet their match is kinda a benefit to the world as they’ll be less likely to try somebody again.

So for some backstory I am 16 and have extreme.anger issues due to medical conditions, and unknown undiagnosed ones.

I was on my way home from London in a taxi with my family and my mums gf. I was speaking to myself out loud talking about how much I like how thin the steering wheel is. My mums gf started going off at me about how rude I was being and how much I was pissing her off. I told her she can ask me to stop but she doesn't get to phrase it like that she kept yelling so I told her that I'd rather she didn't. She stormed out the car and my mother was yelling at me for upsetting her girlfriend and ruining a 'lovely' night so I told her the same. Don't talk to me you seem to not be able to remember what happens every time we do this.

She continued to goad me saying oh yeah mr big bollox and think your so tough and your just like your dad a psycho so I strangled her in the middle of the street so my brother yelled get off her don't touch her so I kicked him in the balls so I've couldn't move then I stormed off to the car and am now at home.

My problem is that I don't regret it at I all I think they deserved it because I'm so angry.

What should I do I can't see a therapist cause she didn't believe theirs anything wrong with me and we can't afford one either.

..get done with a phone call where someone was really rude for no reason and have to fight the urge to call back and rip into them?

TLDR AT THE END!
Growing up, I lived in a very dysfunctional household. My dad was an angry, angry man, and my mum resorted to alch*h*l. This taught me enough in itself that my emotions were to be demonized. Anytime I expressed an emotion, it would circle back to "anger" and "why are you angry?" which became tiring. It just made me even more angry, if I'm honest. It gave me little patience, and since expressing how I felt ended badly, I closed up. With that combined with my slow realisation that my parents were very bad people, and treating me like this wasn't okay, it shortened my tolerance. I soon became a very short tempered, high fuse person. People described my anger to "explode" like volcanoes. This hurt me deeply, but since I didn't know how to safely manage my emotions, even sadness turned into anger. I resorted to "If I'm angry, people will take my seriously. I need to yell to get my voice heard." This dynamic just sprouted into a stronger version of itself, and I began taking it out on things because I didn't know how to safely outwardly display my anger. I felt like telling somebody "I feel angry for xyz" wouldn't work, so I had to show them when I was angry, because that's the only way I was taken seriously as a child. Objects would be thrown, broken, smashed, I would cry for hours on end, fuelling my anger even worse. Half way through these "outbursts" I would feel an absolute wave of guilt and fear wash over me. I was wasting my time. I was wasting hours, days, maybe even weeks if added to a total, reacting like this. But I couldn't stop. Infact, that thought made me angry. Angry at the people who raised me this way. The only way for me to "calm down" was for me to eventually just stop myself. That being said, no outside event could stop me. Ever. Not even my own thoughts of "just chillout dude".

For a little more context, my parents would rarely take responsibility. They apologised yes, but often didn't mean it, and just repeated their behaviour. I grew up in the middle class. My mum made barely any money, but living with my dad as a teen, he made significantly more because he was a joiner who was self employed. He made enough money to buy gifts, or replace something pretty quickly. Of course, he didn't like spending money, he wasn't LOADED, but if he needed to buy a gift for someone, he would and could. This lead to stuff being bought for me as an "apology" for whatever awful thing he did. He also replaced stuff I broke, phone screens, keyboards ect. This absolutely did not help me take accountability. I thought this behaviour was normal. My patience grew thin, since I often didn't have to wait longer than 2ish weeks for something to be fixed, replaced or given. Due to my dad's popularity in his industry, he could get a LOT of what he wanted, just though connections. If we wanted or needed something that may have been harder to reach, he would "pull some strings" and it would usually go in our favour (our being me and my little brother). It would stretch beside wanting too, for example applying for college. When i applied to a college that may be harder to get into, my dad told me "leave it to me." and within a few days I got emails from the school. Turns out he knew somebody who worked pretty high up at the school. This sort of weird demand definitely made my patience worse. I think about it often. I always felt guilty after breaking something (I only ever broke my own belongings) and ended up thinking that I broke things because I was spoiled. I'd imagine those tv characters who would throw a fit when something didn't go their way, and they would get it replaced almost immediately. It made me feel so gross about myself. Was I a spoiled brat?? This question hurt. A small part of me would tell myself that spoiled brats are given all they want, never taught "no" or patience, but that wasn't my case. I never expected stuff to be replaced, bought or gifted to me. It just happened, and as a hurting child I accepted. This is what i told myself

TLDR: grew up in what is bordering an ab*sive home, never taught patience, healthy expression etc. My family members always angry & aggressive, specifically my dad. Taught me anger was the only way to be heard and taken seriously. Bought gifts as apologies, thought that behaviour was normal. Replaced my own belongings when I broke them in anger. Skewed my patience skills and how to take accountability. Filled with guilt afterwards, every single time. Is this behaviour my fault or is it somebody elses fault for raising me this way?

I'm growing older. And I am trying to work on myself, with the absolutely awful UK therapy system (The NHS is severely underfunded, therapy included.) but I seem to be getting nowhere. Reddit probably isn't the best place to look, but any closure is enough for me. I am growing tired and exhausted both physically, emotionally and mentally over these "tantrums", as my parents called them. So, I ask, given this much context so far, Am i spoiled? Will strangers view me as a brat? Do you view me as a "trust fund baby" and stuff along those lines? Or was i given the wrong end of the stick? Was i doomed the day i was born being born into this family? Is it my fault??

I am a calm person, very rarely do I feel angry or violent. If I ever get angry i do that by feeling qngry towards myself trather than others, sometimes I go mad on others if cases are extreme or I get badly offended or attacked. So what... i bid fairly well through most of my days, no issues whatsoever. But I always have these thoughts that sometimes keep me awake. It is scary yet funny yet good yet bad all at once if you know what it means. I GET THE FEELING LIKE I WANT TO GO ON A RAMPAGE. I want to exterminate the filth on this planet.l, the virus consuming all that is good and beautiful, The reason for poverty, glutony, death, plague, war, fake education, misleading news, injustice... But the equation is too imbalanced, I calm myself down, even if I am to start a rampage, my efforts wont be enough and some innocent good people are going to get in the way and might end up hurt too which doesnt make me any better than any of them who damage others... I have been feeling this way since quite a while now and many events that happened to me, traumatic ones, which left me lost and bewildered in the ocean of probability and chance that things might just flick south right around the corner of our near future. I feel like the sands of time will drain down endlessly, but equally I feel the glass will break and I will break out into my psychopathic bloodlust not too far from soon yet not earlier than this lifetime, or that is what I try to achieve the least. Do you think it is mandatory that I get intp therapy?

I have no idea where to start, and I have no idea how to repair the damages done.

The other night my GF had a Halloween party. I had gotten pretty drunk and kind of acted like an asshole. Later in the night I guess I had gotten out of bed and had tried to go take a piss. Confused and clearly drunk / asleep I fell over and hit my head. As she tried to help me out, I guess I had pushed her away and then grabbed her by the throat. I did not hurt her other than that fact that I physically went to do so. But it’s the fact that I grabbed her and pushed her in the first place. I can only write off the excuse of me being confused, in a dark space, most likely still asleep ( I’ve been known to sleep walk ) drunk, and thought that someone was attacking me.

The next day she obviously brought it to my attention. She’s mad, she’s scared. And I don’t blame her. I’ve been known to get into physical altercations with other men. But I have never laid a hand on a female in my life.

I am disappointed in myself, I am confused still on what happened. And I have no idea how to go about fixing this issue. I’ve decided to step back from drinking for a bit, I am already in therapy, but I still am in disbelief that I would ever do such a thing to someone I love to begin with.

Any advice will be appreciated. Thank you.

Was with some friends to a club tonight (I don't go unless it's people I enjoy hanging around, or if it's just girls who appreciate the protection as I'm a relatively fit and stocky guy, like tonight). I only tolerate clubs on the best days, it's always about the people I'm going with rather than the club itself.

So me and my friends were tired and about to leave, but then these random guys came at us and one of them grabbed me by the shoulders with that stupid drunk "brooooo" shit laughing and shaking me about. I was in no mood and removed their hand from my shoulder respectfully but forcefully.

Well, drunk testosterone along with a shitty upbringing kicks in, and these guys get aggressive real fucking quick telling me to come outside for a fight and starts shoving me and grabbing the wrist of the hand I put out to stop them getting in my face. For reference, I'm relatively short but stocky, and these guys were tall but thin. After about a minute one of them calms down and extents his hand for a dap as peace offering. I take it just to get it over with but I'm fucking pissed.

Fucking really? Starting a fight because I won't join in with them? Fucking uncivilised dogs. Part of me wishes I took them up on it to teach them some manners and is mad I didn't. It just feels so disrespectful, considering race and height (I feel like the emasculation of East Asians is rife in Western society). How do I get over it? I know getting into fights isn't constructive and would probably end fatally at some point. (London, so people running around with knives is a non-ignorable possibility.)

Dangle women and booze in a dark environment for anonymity and people think they're big shots.

I've had bad anger issues for 5 years(ish). Even the slightest inconvenience can put me in a really bad mood. Sometimes the moods escalate and I become quite violent to myself and others, I feel like my whole world is ending. I have a good life, great partner and seriously have nothing to complain about. I recognise my wrong doings after and feel totally embarrassed by the way I've acted but I can't find a way to "switch it off". It's affecting my day to day life now and my relationship😭

Whats the solution? What can i do about it? Im tired of repeating the same actions and nothing working, tired of posting on reddit or searching for knowledge on the internet about all these issues. I want to do something.

Its like I dictate my entire life to finding a "gf" or relationship, im 23 and 3 years in college with no gf or any girl ever interested in me and this makes me think that im boring or uninteresting or unimportant or invisible.

Im jealous of other guys who get looked at by others or get paid attention to

What do they have that i dont?

I know im desperate, perhaps trying to filla void or use people as a vehicle for self esteem and self worth.

So im not blaming the girls, why would they want a guy who just wants a relationship and doesnt care about who they are? The problem is because im so focused on their approval, validation, attention recognition of me that i never tried to get to know them even though i have no idea how. I dont know what "effort" is good enough for them to care, i never try to get to know them and they dont get to know me,

always trying to "keep them happy" "be funny" "be a clown for their entertainment" lowering my value to raise theirs. I think all of this is not genuine its just me trying to "get a goal"

Im just tired of all this, tired of knowing my problems and not knowing what to do about them. Or make changes or take actions.

Its like im always in flight or fight mode, where i let others reactions dictate my worth, always putting up a performance for others so they like me or think im good enough.

I dont know how to make friends or when i try its always one sided, always me chasing, always me "starting conversations" even though im not good at them but im trying to get better

I want to have friends where im not always chasing, not always starting conversations or trying to keep them "from leaving" and i think im so desperate because afraid of rejection or abandonment and loneliness

Im trying to be a better version of myself, i have quit porn for good, trying to get control of addictions like fapping, tv shows, food, internet, social media, approval addictions

Going to the gym and im trying to get better at soccer, i just want to be better, improve myself, im tired of being at the rock bottom

Do other girls who keep hair on their pussy get the rudest reactions sometimes from guys? I never received this when I shaved and I'm just really upset by how rude it can be sometimes. If I tell them I don't shave anymore they sometimes take it somewhat personally like I'm an ugly human for wanting to be comfortable. Mostly just getting this off my chest.

Hey... My question might seem (and it is but I don't care) but I need help about a very specific problem. So, I'm a teenager, my relationship with my family is... tense right now, and a lot of things get me mad. However, I have absolutely no way to vent or I'll get yelled at so I'm hitting myself, it's almost soundless and I really feel like I'm hitting something (that helps). So, my question is what part of my body should I avoid hitting and what have less risks of severe injury?

I have many sucky things that I don’t want to think about and I’m still mad at. I don’t I wanna be mad about these things anymore. But I still am.

When I get angry, I cry. It’s not an option for me. I’m not sad, or hurt, I’m just seething mad, and the tears overflow. I HATE it when this happens, because I’m not just some whimpering cry baby that’s looking for sympathy or something, and that’s how I feel like I’m viewed when I start mad crying. I literally can’t help it though, and I don’t want anyone to even see me crying, it just happens. So when something happens, like at work or something, and I get really angry, the only way I can keep myself from crying is to just not say anything at all to anyone. I just go back to work, avoiding looking at anyone or saying anything, focus on keeping my breathing even and not letting the tears fall. Because the tears are there, just waiting. And I know I look like I’m walking around with an attitude giving everyone the cold shoulder, but the reality is that it’s taking every ounce of my self control not to burst into tears, and as long as I don’t speak to anyone I can keep from crying. The thing is though, it won’t go away until I actually have a moment to go somewhere alone and cry. So I’m just stuck like that, on the verge of tears, hands shaking, avoiding everyone. If I stay like this for very long, I’ll get a really bad headache.

Does anyone else experience this? Am I emotionally unstable or something? How can I overcome the tears in the face of anger, and not have to completely shut down to keep from crying for no reason?

I wasnt always like this.

I was once in an extremely emotionally abusive relationship in which my partner was always angry and vengeful and took it out on me. I grew up with a mother who was constantly angry. I always swore I would never be this way.

After going to college, I became addicted to drugs and alcohol. I graduated, got a good job, but my social ability gradually declined over the years. I slowly lost my ability to properly communicate with people. After the death of many loved ones, and the bad relationship, I really changed. I became a person that screamed and raged, punched walls, and just always crashed out. I eventually got out of that relationship but afterwards, I seemed to burn almost every single bridge I’ve ever made. I am angry, it feels like I am angry at the world. I hate the self sabotaging and damaging person I have become. Ive never hit another person, but I have hit myself to the point of extreme bruising and sprained my wrist punching surfaces. I do yell at those around me and say extremely hurtful things in a rage state. When I try to apologize, it is never accepted, and rightfully so. I understand that there are things people wont forgive. I hate the person I have become, and I dont want to hurt others as I was hurt in my childhood and my past relationship. I have ruined so many good things for myself because of this anger. I feel embarrassed, isolated, and like I can never come back from any of it. I feel like i will be bitter and alone for the rest of my days.

What sort of help should I seek? Is there medication anyone is on? Does it get better? Do I even deserve for things to get better?

I don't know if it's a trauma response or what, but when i get too angry i just lose all self control and I've gotten physical with many people because of it, even pulling / swinging weapons on people i shouldn't have..

I don't know what to do. I feel helpless. And scared. I don't want to lose my boyfriend but I'm on my way unless i can manage my anger.

Any advice? :(

I’ve started commuting with a friend to class, and realised that I get very irritated by everything they do for no good reason (literally just their arm touching mine on the bus makes me scream insults in my head at them). It took me back to high school when i walked to school with another friend and felt the exact same way. I actually like the person i commute with (I don’t feel the same way on the commute back). But in the mornings I get so angry over the most unimportant things, and I don’t know how to deal with it & don’t want to push them away. I usually get enough sleep & always eat before I leave, which is what usually puts me in a bad mood, but I just can’t figure out why i’m like this. Any advice/comments would be great :)

I’ve had this problem for as long as I known. I was throwing meltdown as a kid whenever things got hard to managed. My mom used to drink alcohol and would become violent (not toward me) and it confused me at the time. But I could tell she was angry with herself. My father left our family when I was 11 years old and it only made the meltdowns worse and I started to self-harm. I forgave my parents a long time ago and can understand how difficult ending generational trauma is. Now I’m 24 years old and am still in the same boat. I find myself hitting my head when I can’t handle this stress or anger. I don’t want to hurt myself anymore and I don’t want a specialist to think I’m suicidal. It just feels like I’ve been through so much and I have, but I want things to get better. I just get mixed up with the ‘how’ I can move past this. I’m extremely hard on myself and am a very emotional/empathetic person. It’s hard sometimes seeing myself after self harming because I feel so pathetic. I notice my mind will absorb the negative energy around me and it actually feels like I’m going through it. It’s frustrating because I know in my mind I cannot control others things outside of me or how people feel. I’m just tired of feeling so alone in this and realizing people have had this same way of coping helps. I try so hard with my coping skills, positive affirmation, or what I’m thankful for that I learned in therapy which I do attend. But in the heat of moment it feels impossible. It’s so hard unlearning this unhealthy way of coping and thinking. My mind is trying to logically process this feeling and what I’ve already done to myself. There’s just no logic behind it, it’s just pure emotion and my inability to manage these overwhelming feelings. Sorry for the rant, I feel so lost and it’s hard to not be more ashamed or disappointed in myself when my head still hurts from hitting it. Please if anyone has felt this way, let me know how you manage this or getting through it.

I have a decent history of trauma and it's always been me against the world. I never felt safe or had someone to have my back. And at this point it's whatever, tough luck. I'll live and die by myself. But any type of relationship or interaction, the smallest dumbest things trigger me and I get irrationally mad. However I rarely let it out and most of the time I sit with all this crap brewing inside of me for days and weeks. I've never forgiven or forgotten any transgressions and I know it's stupid and I'm grown, I don't depend on these people and they can talk shit all they want I'm not in real danger. But there's this part buried deep inside that goes "don't trust these mfs, they're out to get you, they'd sell you for one piece of chewing gum". And it's okay, somehow I deal with that. However, a bit over 3 months ago I found out that the guy I've been seeing for years had sex with my former best friend during a "break" when we weren't talking for a month. It is killing me. Even if he got wiped off the face of the planet right now, it'd still be killing me for years probably. I just don't know what to do with these emotions. I feel so small, insignificant, worthless, disgusting and imagine them having a laugh over the whole situation. Then comes the anger. I'd peel my skin off. I don't know what kind of help I need and I don't know what kind of punishment would make me feel better. I've been arguing with him for months over this and no matter what I say it doesn't help. I'm furious all the fucking time. I never feel better. I feel like I'm drowning in anger and resentment and no one can see or understand and even if they did no one would give a shit. I'm probably gonna get some illness thanks to all the unprocessed crap I've been going through.

Just to be at least honest-

There are painful things that I am probably supposed to do to eventually prevent some future suffering and I am thinking right now "I won't do them."

So it will most likely mean that if it is true that catharsis theory is wrong, and freaking out makes things worse, I will make my life worse because I am going to scream a lot to release anger (screaming into my pillow, or into the forest). Medication that calms down reduces my executive function, fortunatelly no one is subscribing me neuroleptics right now (had to take them as a teenager, but not because of psychosis but because of anger issues/ scteaming shout8ng).

So I guess all options suck and I will destroy my life even though I plan to only scream in "safe plac3s" like my bed/ into my pillow and the forest .

I dont want to lose my resentment but I want to be able to not do stupid things .

I hate mindset change.
I just want to change my behaviour.