I can't put groceries off any longer. I have to get them today and I'm scared. I don't know what to do.

I guess I'm just making this post for accountability. I just want someone to know what I'm up against tonight so I don't feel so alone.

I'll update in a few hours. Thank you.

I quit drinking because I became an alcoholic and I quit a month ago but now all of my old bad coping skills have come back. Like harming myself and stuff like that. Does anyone know if that’s normal? I feel like I’m getting worse and moving backwards.

Well it happens… I couldn’t get out of bed. I hadn’t had anything to drink but it literally felt like the world was in my chest. I threw up everything. Was debating… was taking small swigs from the rubbing alcohol to just numb it for one moment.

“ you are either going out the window, going to the hospital, or going to rehab” was said to me.

I did it. I’m in rehab/recovery. I’m tired of not feeling like me. Tired of not knowing if what I think is me is me. To all who read it is hard. You are not gonna feel this magic moment,but it was either this because that window was my first thought.

I’m tired to do it alone because I have been through so much I should be strong enough to handle it. Sorry world it took so long to swallow my pride. And World watch out there is 45 years of trauma, experience and pain getting worked on…. This tiger is about to be let out of the cage and there will be no task to big or reward to small that myself and my team will handle…. You are not alone…. I am not alone we can do this

Two years ago I started the hardest journey of my life. Here is a story about why it is always worth it.

This morning I was woken by my doorbell at around 10 to 9. Two years ago I would never have been woken up, I'd have slept through it.

It was my neighbor saying my dog was making some unusual sounds in the back yard. We found one of my dogs choking and foaming at the mouth in the backyard.

Two years ago he would have been lying there for hours, likely would have died a horrible death.

I was able to lift my dog into my car and drive him to the vet.

Two years ago I wouldn't have been able to drive to the end of my street that early on a Saturday. Let alone make it dodging and weaving through traffic to get him to the vet. I also wouldn't have had the physical strength to lift this dog.

As of now, my dog is still in emergency. We don't know what's wrong with him. But we know he's getting the care he needs and we did everything we could.

If this had of happened two years ago, my dog would be dead right now and it would have been my fault.

I'm not sure I would have come back from that.

I didn't get drunk, I had two drinks and I drove home. I came in and my spouse said I looked flush. I made an excuse. Then (he went to walk the dogs) I followed with a text admitting I had alcohol because I didn't want to lie. It was a really tough conversation that followed in which I wanted to defend myself but the truth is I shattered him and gave him something to worry about. The driving really got him, and the drinking I suppose. He has to deal with 2 issues; am I going to drink and drive and am I going to lie to him about drinking. I don't like owning this, and I really want to cling to all the parts of me that are so loving and good and kind and have those parts dilute this part. But the parts are all together and I am harming this person I love deeply by trying to have an escape in alcohol. I am sad that I made this choice, I felt like it was not going to harm anyone and I couldn't have been more wrong. Starting over again and IWNDWY tomorrow since I blew it today.

I am 2 weeks sober after a long time of binge drinking (and often ❄️ usage), saying I won’t do it again and will “moderate”, be okay for a few weeks, and continue the pattern all over again.

For the first few days I was so elated and felt free from alcohol, but now that it has been 2 weeks, I am struggling to see hope in all of this. I feel isolated from my friends (everyone can drink normally), and those I do know are sober I cannot relate with yet. Work has been stressful, I am having relationship problems, and I am incredibly stressed all I want to do is have a few drinks and relax. I am doing my hobbies, but I am not feeling fulfilled. I am in therapy and on medication, but nothing seems to work.

I am worried that sobriety isn’t for me. I feel like I am grieving what made me happy and who I was, I was the cool crazy girl who drank a ton of beer and stayed out until 6 AM doing lines! Maybe I’m better off being an addict, at least I can feel the temporary happiness. I can deal with the miserable hangovers, right? Maybe my problem wasn’t that bad? (Hint: is was!).

Basically, I feel incredible down, lost, and uncomfortable and just so want to feel “okay” again. Will this feeling subside?

And how noticeable was it if did, and how long did it take to really feel it?

This story doesn't really have a point but I wanted to talk about it.

I just did a dry January (for the most part). I didn't really tell many people about it beside a few of my close friends and my gf. Through the month I did have one glass of wine with a steak dinner, but stayed sober otherwise. It wasn't the best month as far as work goes and stuff but at least I knew alcohol wasn't to blame for it, and it didn't make it worse either. A friend of mine voiced his feelings about his drinking feeling a little much so 3 of us decided we'd do dry February together, I was happy I would have friends I talk to daily doing this with me without needing to ask them to.

2 days ago I figured I'd let myself drink as I had the next day off and it was going to be my "last hurrah" before jumping into another month of not drinking. I certainly went into that with the wrong attitude as I felt if I drink lots and fast I know I won't enjoy the next day and it will justify my reason to not drink. Silly, but that was my game plan. Well, I ended up drinking most of that bottle the one night, fell asleep at my computer and somehow ended up on the couch. Woke up to a missed call from my manager reminding me I had a mandatory meeting in 30 minutes that I forgot about. Got myself into work on time, but pretty hungover. Made it through the meeting and went home. Figured I'd drink this off but there wasn't much left so I grabbed another bottle on my way home. Ended up drinking at least half of that bottle through the evening. Gamed with my friends and I was a noticeably sloppy player and not being much help. I'm not a great gamer so they don't really guilt me for it but even they were like what the hell man. I also was being kind of weird, I asked one friend if he was doing good mentally because he was having a rough week but I feel like I kept looping back to that conversation. Ended up waking up on the couch again at 3am and went to my bed. Got to work on time but barely. My coworker that drinks the most out of all of us pulled me aside and was like you look better now after eating lunch, you looked like shit this morning, I said I didn't sleep well and he's like dude I was drunk yesterday but I was good to go at 6am, so I fessed up and was like yeah I was drinking yesterday. I spent the rest of the day watching the clock hoping I could go home and rest, and I still feel like ass.

Just wanted to share my experience maybe for anyone thinking, oh I deserve a little treat. It likely won't end well lol. I just ended up hungover, probably losing a little respect from friends, my gf, and my coworkers, and $50 poorer. I didn't do anything really bad, but I didn't do anything good either lol

I’ve been sober for about a week now, lots of headaches and such. My doctor prescribed me Wellbutrin to see if it could curb my cravings, so far I haven’t been thinking of drinking and I find myself more focused on why I shouldn’t drink, such as the hangxiety, the depression it brings, making horrible mistakes blackout that lead to regret and intense shame/guilt. The only thing I’ve noticed is intense boredom and everything I try doesn’t bring me joy, I’ve been working out more and eating healthier but I’m wondering if anyone has tips on what they do to fill their boredom.

Happy Friday Sobernauts!!

I don’t go to AA. I have never been to a single AA meeting. I’ve had horrible experiences with people in AA. So if you’re in AA, please try not to be a prick. Thank you. Anyways…. the wisdom of the slogans are often on point.

While you’re sitting in this meeting, your addiction is in the parking lot doing push-ups.

That quote really hit me to my core. It was my mantra during my early days. And it scared the shit out of me.

Basically, what I got out of it was, if I pick back up, I’m not going to start over with the alcohol problem. I will be picking up exactly where I left off. Then there will be time that will have to be made up. As my badge count is accurate… I will have a lot of time to make up and would probably make it up rather quickly. Dangerously quick.

How do I know this? I don’t. Maybe I would be different. But after spending enough time in this sub, I have seen it over and over again. In conclusion, there is no need for me to be added to this data set.

I don’t have anything against AA. I think it’s great and it’s changed millions of lives. But after spending enough time in this sub, I know that I am not the only person that has had bad experiences with AA people. I just want to say it’s possible to do it without AA, and, if you are reluctant of joining AA, don’t let that stop you from quitting drinking! That’s all. I feel that I am totally over explaining this, but, I don’t want to step on any toes. And I don’t want any AA’ers to jump down my throat.

Tonight, I am hanging out with the dog and daughter. Well, the daughter is sitting in her room, ignoring me. I was a teenager once.

There will be tea, and there will be ice cream. Tomorrow there will be a sober Saturday.

#whats everyone else doing tonight??

My body started rejecting alcohol at 24.

By 30 I had so many chronic illnesses ACCUTELY caused by alcohol (and trying to have some every few weeks/months) I had to stop.

I'm 37 now, and every chronic illness I have started while drinking alcohol.

Every day I see ppl in their 30s, 40s, 50s drinking alcohol IN THE MIDDLE OF IF THE DAY.

Every business survives off alcohol sales.

How are people PHYSICALLY able to do this?!

I just feel insecure (/cry)

Been sober for 17 months now and loving it. However in my quest to stay off of alcohol I’ve become extremely averse to ANYTHING that alters my mental state in any way. It’s ultimately a good thing for keeping me away from booze and other drugs but it’s also interfering with me in certain ways.

… for example, I’m getting surgery done in April and will be going under general anesthesia, and I’m VERY nervous about it. The procedure itself is minor outpatient type of thing, what is wigging me out is the idea of waking up being sort of “high” from the anesthesia and the painkillers (its abdominal surgery so I will be given them).

Is anyone else able to relate to this or offer advice? Ultimately what worries me is waking up being altered mentally and my alcoholic brain going “oh man, I remember this — you should totally get a drink when you’re off painkillers, isn’t being high great?” Like I’ve worked so hard to get and stay sober but being under the influence of surgery meds will make me revert back to who I used to be.

Thanks in advance.

Lately, my perfectionism and OCD have been overwhelming. I tried meds, but they didn't help.

I was getting closer to God, but now I feel like a failure because of my doubts. I overthink everything-worrying about things that don't matter, the past, other people's opinions, and things I can't control.

My life feels like a mess. I struggle with depression, anxiety, and motivation. I can't keep a job, I barely take care of myself, and my apartment is a disaster. I keep restarting-deleting social media, making new accounts, resetting my phone-hoping for a fresh start, but it never helps. My finances are bad, and I feel guilty for the money I owe people.

I also feel stuck worrying about relationships, my past mistakes, and what I should be doing. Any time something goes wrong, I just give up. Lately, I've been wanting to drink all the time. I pray, but I feel lost and don't know what to do anymore.

Has anyone else been through something like this? Any advice on how to move forward-especially from a faith-based or mental health perspective?

That's it, that's the post. I am here with y'all and will not drink in solidarity with you and whatever you may be going theough.

One thing I've found as I age: As hard as it can be to cope with, let alone heal from, my darker emotions and experiences, when I drink no healing goes on at all.

Lifting my kombucha to our collective safety and wellbeing. Cheers.

I don't get cravings often anymore, but damn would a shower beer be nice right now.

Of course it was never just a shower beer, it was 4, and then more while I made dinner, and more after dinner, then nursing one until my husband went to bed and I could really start drinking and then all bets were off.

Play the tape forward.

I'll settle for a shower diet coke to wash away the stress while my husband gets dinner.

I'll wake up sober tomorrow morning and not regret a thing.

It was food for thought and my treat for not drinking this month . Very relaxing but to an ex drinker the questions are mildly hilarious. What is your usual skin care routine? I'm thinking yeah I wash my face now and apply moisturiser as required.

At the end she said you have good skin, I thought thanks I'm 52 but my family all have good skin too it's genetics. Result. Then she said but have you had a cold recently? Weird question but no. Because you have all these broken veins round the side of your nose and they can't be removed. Oh, really I just cover them up. Then she said oh well that might be just January. To which I'm thinking no that's 25+ years wine drinking plus the early years beers.

Well I relaxed, got pampered and I didn't drink. I have good skin i'll take that as a positive. Them little red veins are the least of my worries, they are my battle scars IWNDWYT 😊

4 weeks ago I had a doctor's appointment. I was on day 2 of "dry january" and felt like crap. My BP was 149/90. They took it twice, they were so concerned. So was I - hypertension runs in my family and it finally seems to have caught up to me. Today I had an appointment with another doctor, 28 sober days later - my BP was 104/70. My jaw dropped. AND I was down 10lbs. I posted here a couple weeks ago because my partner had started drinking again and I felt lost and betrayed on this journey, and this group stepped up and stepped in as my support system and I am so grateful. I said that I had erased IWNDWYT from our "drink count" board because it wasn't something we were doing together anymore. Someone here told me to write it on there again because I'm never sober alone, and to keep track of my sober days, and I did. 6 sets of 5 hashmarks, and I'm not stopping there, either. A million thanks to all of you. Happy Friday! IWNDWYT ❤️

Usually at the end of a long hard week I’ll go out to a bar and get some wine. Since I’m about 11-12 days sober at this point, I decided to go to a restaurant and get a nice meal. I’ve been trying to avoid restaurants with bars and went to a place I thought wouldn’t have alcohol. Well, I got seated and ordered then found that they just got their license to serve wine …. Oops. I ate my food and then got out but I was really staring at the wine for a bit.

My wife and I are wrapping up Dry January, and to my great relief it hasn’t been that difficult other than passing up margaritas on our Friday Tex-Mex nights. I really want to keep the sober thing going indefinitely for all the obvious good reasons: face gains, clearer skin, improved mood, energy, lower resting heart rate, etc.

We have a European vacation planned in March, though, and as much as I want to stay sober the whole time, I’d be lying if I didn’t look forward to lazily strolling through some cool historic places with a pleasant day buzz. We’ve taken a few trips where we never got crazy drunk and were on the same page. We travel well together, and I (right or wrong) felt like the slow drip of booze was an enhancement not a detriment. I want to not feel that way, but I’m struggling to convince myself that light drinking wouldn’t be all that bad.

Anyone have tips on how you’ve navigated something similar and what you’ve told yourself to curb the habitual tendency to drink on trips, even if it’s not to excess?

I’ve had a drinking issue for almost 2.5 years and always said I would stop, but I never did. I talked to some places and plan on going to detox next week before doing IOP

Any advice or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated because I’m scared shitless. I know my life will be better but I’m just worried to feel locked away

Thanks in advance and wish me luck

I was sober till I wasn’t. 23 alcohol-free days and I binged/blew it.
My liver #s were improved; I’d lost a couple pounds. I was calmer; was sleeping better. So why why WHY did I think it was a swell idea to drink??!! It’s the definition of insanity, truly. I don’t want to be this person. I’m back. I’m trying. I’m not drinking today.

Just finished watching “The Way Back” and I have never felt more motivated to stay sober. What are some other movies that touch on drinking and promote sobriety?

If you haven’t seen it I definitely recommend watching!

I wasn’t able to cut back on my own and my health is so bad. I’m puking every day, can’t keep food down, I feel weak, tired, my chest hurts. I can’t live like this anymore. I hope they actually help instead of sending me away like they did the last time. Wish my luck, I’m going on my own bc my partner is at work for a few more hours. I just feel stupid it’s a Friday evening and I’m going in to take time away from other patients over something I chose to do to my body.

I (36m) am making an honest effort at sobriety. I go to AA meetings, I have ended relationships with people who don't understand/support my decision, and I have an addictions counselor.

I am taking it one day at a time. I go to one AA meeting a day; that is what is feasible and sustainable for me right now. My last drink was Monday night 1/27/25 and my last major embarrassing drunk episode was Saturday 1/25/25.

In front of my friends and colleagues. Who had just elected me board president. Dear God what a shame.

So I figured -- I went and got drunk and everyone knew. If I went and got sober and people knew -- wouldn't that help me be accountable?

Let's be clear: I didn't shout it from the rooftops, I didn't post on social media, I didn't get the AA logo tattooed on my face or anything. I just apologized to my friends, thanked them for their understanding and support and the car rides home. And I said, "I'd love to keep working together. I'd love to hang out. We live in a big city and a fun life is possible without alcohol."

And that fucked me over.

Some of my friends were still disgusted -- to them I am a drunk and always will be, irredeemable. They are no longer friends with me.

Some of my friends became disgusted -- to them I got drunk one time and now I'm overreacting. They are no longer friends with me.

I stopped telling my wife when these friendships end. I couldn't stand telling her and seeing the hurt and sympathy in her eyes.

My wife is cautiously supportive and I am honest with her -- but when I talk about my sobriety work with her it's like I'm speaking Italian. (Neither of us speak Italian irl.)

I have also outsourced all my emotional work to my counselor, so there's nothing left for my wife. All the long, deep conversations about life I used to have with my wife I now have with my counselor.

So in a sense I've lost the wife too.

I don't need any replies, but folks who do reply will probably say, "Oh you don't need those friends anyway!" and maybe that's true, but it doesn't make the work or the isolation easier.

I had my first drink after I turned 21. From then til now I've been the binge drinker: infrequent but heavy use. If I lost friends or relationships I just moved to a new city where I could start over.

But now I'm married and we have a house and I can't exactly leave and start over.

Sobriety is really something I'm gonna have to do alone.

Trying to become the best version of myself and it can be a lonely process. I’ve had some cravings on and off today. I am 83 days sober and feel like my life is finally going in the right direction. I will not cave and drink, but sometimes it’s hard. I am instead drinking an N.A. corona.

I posted in here a few days ago about a relapse I had on Tuesday, how horrible I was feeling and how ready I was to be done with booze for good. I received a huge outpouring of kindness and nonjudgemental support. I was honestly floored and it meant a lot to me, so thank you.

I haven’t had a drink since then but well, it’s Friday. It’s payday, it’s pouring rain, work has been a shitshow, and the thought of heading to my favourite cozy pub after work, having a few pints and chatting with my favourite bartenders and regulars, sounds absolutely heavenly. And honestly, it probably would be! But I know that after those first few pleasant pints, I’d swing by the liquor store on my way home and drink until I blacked out. Then I’d wake up hungover and feeling like garbage, probably having done or said a bunch of stupid shit and binged a bunch of junk food.

I don’t want to do any of that awful stuff. But I have to give up the nice part too, to avoid all that. I realized that I’ve completely lost the ability to wind down after work without alcohol.

I know I will regret it if I go have a drink. I know I need to replace my pub visits with something else, but what?

I was active on this site with a different name. I have never ever ever drank and drove. Ever. That’s something I won’t do. I will walk 4 miles to get a bottle. But now I am just stuck in a place and I don’t want to drink and drive but it’s raining and it’s cold and I just I have a car and my ex is out of town and cheating on me publicly on social media and I just want to take our car and just go buy a bottle. It’s only a half a mile down the road. But I know what can happen in that half of a mile. But I really need another bottle. He broke up with me. I have to move out. He’s coming back in three weeks and I just can’t cope.

I'm a 33-year-old male. I've made progress in reducing the amount of alcohol I drink. Every once in a while, I'll have some, but my 20s were a very unhealthy time. I drank constantly.

Every year for the past five or so years, my bloodwork results have been pretty good, but not perfect. My liver enzyme levels were elevated, but only marginally. Most other things they test for were in the "Good" range.

I had the routine blood draw/workup done a few days ago. Usually, they'd just mail the results. But the liver enzyme levels were elevated enough that my doctor actually called me and immediately scheduled me for a liver ultrasound.

I've been much healthier in the past year or so, so this is kind of concerning that these abnormal results are showing up even after getting my alcohol use under better control.

Has anyone been through this? (I'm certain many of you probably have). I'm scared. I know it could be anything from plain old fatty liver disease to actual cancer.

Please share your story if you've been through this. I'm almost secretly hoping it is cancer, which is horrifying to say, but it's the truth. I've never liked my life, even from my earliest memories. My dad was an alcoholic and had liver cancer, and a liver transplant. His brother is a raging alcoholic in his 60s. Their dad was an alcoholic.

I just don't know how to deal with the shame of it all. I can't find a job, and now this? I'm trying to not catastrophize, but this is so upsetting. Thank you for any replies.

Those are my bare minimum dry January stats. It doesn't seem like a lot on my day to day. But multiply it by 31 and its quite sobering.

...without caving into it!

I know this might sound obvious, but for a long time I didn't have a desire to drink for weeks and weeks/months, and when the desire came, I would just drink again, it would get out of hand, rinse and repeat.

But recently I've realised that allowing that feeling to pass without going with it, works. It will pass and we'll focus on other things.