I drank for more than half my life before I stopped about half a year ago. I achieved a lot while drinking, mostly socially but quite regularly. I have and had a great job, life, friends and health. Still I felt my relationship with alcohol was not healthy so I ended up quitting. Looking back now I wish I would have quit earlier and I sometimes beat myself up over the missed opportunities. What tips and ways do you have to forgive your old drinking self and be happy with where you are?

One of my coworkers graduated with a master's degree and is having a huge party. She invited several coworkers that she likes and I made the list. I'm looking forward to it, especially because it is a new culture for me to explore.

With that, while talking about it at work, another coworker said she can't wait to see me after a few drinks because she really wants to see me "loosened up". I just laughed and told her that I won't be drinking because I am driving and my license is worth more than such...

Funny thing is is that I usually think more and get more in my head when drinking, which is one of the reasons abstaining is a good choice for me.

Im sitting here debatating if I have an issue with drinking or an issue with self control. I have been serving in the u.s navy for 3 years and the road has been a bumpy one. Due to the high stress environment of the job and a million other issues the military has plus personal issues I have been dealing with. I have developed a habit of drinking after work to cope with all of it and due to my lack of self control sometimes I will drink beyond what I should knowing I have work the next day and will show up late or be piss drunk the next day. This has been a constant issue and it's to the point that if something of this nature happens one more time I will be punished severaly by the higher ups. I find myself struggling with the idea of quiting though it's so prevalent and normal in the military that I can't imagine going without it. I find myself angered at myself when I see how other people can be functioning drinkers. But when I think of all the negative ways I have been affected and fuck ups I have committed while in the military due to alcohol I tell myself I am not someone who should be drinking at all or at least until I find myself in a better state and higher level of maturity. My biological father was a raging alcoholic so my mother never drank and had it in the house I had no exposure to it until I joined the service but now I can't remember the last time I went a single week without a drop of alcohol.

Hello all. I’m wondering if y’all can give me a few positives to not drinking that one can look forward to in the short term. All the long term stuff like destroying relationships, one’s body, losing one’s career, life etc are very clear. What I’m looking for is the more simple, subtle or mundane even! What are some positive things that become quickly noticeable say a few weeks, couple months etc in your opinion? I’d really appreciate it :)

Note: Flair is not accurate.

Last year I hit 449 days and I thought I had nailed it but then late November I had a slip. I've had stops and starts since then but here we are in May and back to square one.

I haven't had any disasters or reached any new lows, so it could be a lot worse.

The next few weeks will be tough, but I've done it before, so here we go again.

Day zero.

I cannot believe it. Feeling a lot better already!

… used to be my absolute nightmare. Bad sleep, dizziness and headache, regret and often also coping from my memory loss. I felt devastated, especially when I tried so, so hard to really stay sober this time.

Now I‘m almost 1 year 9 months sober, I often choose not to participate in those long night outs, but I went to a concert yesterday I couldn‘t miss out on. I was in the midst of party people and not only didn‘t drink, I didn‘t miss it at all (not even a little bit).

But the best thing is even though I‘ve only slept for a few hours, I‘m feeling great. No nausea, no hangxiety, just a little tired but nothing a nap can‘t fix.

For the longest time I thought I‘d miss out on tons of fun if I went full on sober. Turns out I maximized the fun I have and minimized the negative drawbacks I have with it.

Stay at it, you beautiful sober people. You rock! IWNDWYT

So I am just coming off a week long binge of heavy alcohol use and I am feeling kinda weird. I feel very sensitive to stress and I feel like my body's ability to self-regulate is diminished. I also feel sort of shaky and weak, but more so on the inside. It's like my soul has become fragile. I also feel like other people can feel this energy and they become inflicted with it themselves. This might only be real in my head, but others have also commented on this weird energy so idk.

I don't know what it is because I have also felt this way after long periods of sleep deprivation. Every time I feel like this, it's like I've entered an alternate dimension of this world. I don't know if its delusion or something but it also feels quite devilish. Also I feel like I understand reality in its purest form if that makes sense. I feel smarter as well, like my ability to analyse any idea or concept has drastically improved. It's sort of like I'm becoming a mini detective where I am constantly deriving all sorts of information. I also feel like this type of thinking is seeping into my regular/healthy life as well. I could just be deluded or manic, but I still feel in control of my rational side, if that makes sense.

I know as the days go by my body will heal, and with a healthy lifestyle my soul will feel solid again, it's just having this perception of reality is very weird and eye opening. Has anyone else experienced this or something similiar?

I drank last night. I was a mess, ended up fighting with my boyfriend on the phone - can’t remember why. Vomited. Woke up feeling horrendous and wanting today to be over. It’s just not worth it, ever. I don’t know why I keep doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome.

I have just woken up on day four. To be able to stand up and get straight out of bed without needing an hour to recover feels amazing. I still feel absolutely exhausted but i suppose my body is recovering from years of heavy drinking, right?

But today will be the biggest struggle. A Saturday night, a weekend off work, that beautiful feeling on the forth day when you think “actually, I don’t feel rubbish anymore, I don’t have pains anymore, I could probably have a few tonight?”. I know the drill, this is my millionth day four.

But I figured if I had a little rant on here, hold myself accountable, maybe I can make it through tonight.

IWNDWYT 🫶

I posted here almost two weeks ago about how I messed up on the Friday and Saturday night.

Friday has become game night with a new group. We played and enjoyed ourselves. When we left, my husband needed to nip to the convenience store to get change for parking while I headed to the car to get it started and bring it to the exit.

The one beer I asked him to grab obviously turned into more. I almost messed up the plans we had for a lovely dinner on Saturday.

Last night, it was almost the exact same scenario except he already had change. So I tried to think of whether I wanted to make an excuse to go and buy 'just one.' It doesn't help that I've been despondent this week over my weight. I started intermittent fasting a few weeks ago. Nothing extreme. Essentially I skip breakfast and then stop eating at around 8pm. I no longer snack and I drink coke zero.

The weight is coming off so very slowly, though. And the bloating and water retention from being on my period last week made it go up.

So I've stopped snacking, given up sweet drinks, don't drink alcohol (for almost two weeks), and then see nothing happening. The frustration and cravings almost won.

But here I am today. I stayed sober last night. I didn't even have a snack to satisfy my belly. I slept well. I'm not hungover. I just took a long shower. My husband went out before I woke up and brought me home a custard-pastry we enjoy. And the scale showed that my weight went down. If I had drank, I would have none of those wins.

So I need to take it day by day, and if I keep going with no alcohol and no snacks, then by Christmas I'll probably be down a couple of dress sizes and looking forward to more wins.

IWNDWYT

(The pastry doesn't have a lot of sugar in it. Where we live, sweet treats aren't very sweet. I woke up at around lunch time, so I didn't break any of my goals when I ate it.)

I read a post and it hit home . And than I realized… 882 days ago I tried to get sober, it didn’t work and I left. I came back and commented on the post and saw it. Yes I was a raging alcoholic then 60-80 beers a week. Now I’m 12ish. But that isn’t sober.

I’ve made progress? I guess. I’m not sober. My longest time since 882 days without a beer is 2 weeks. And I had someone holding me accountable for that 2 weeks and they relapsed.

So now I just wait the work week out till I can drink on Friday. That ain’t any better. It’s Friday btw I’ve been drinking.

I’m trying.

SUICIDE SUBJECT CONTENT TW:

(If you need help, please talk to professional help as soon as possible. I am not a psychologist, I am sharing my experience in a specific and unique situation. I wish you well friend and promise it can always get better)

I’m currently in Chicago just fucking vibrating for my first time really out in the wild sober after 100+ days. Ready to crack, but just white knuckling this through sitting next to a giant case of tasty beer.

I had something happen recently. Last week my cousin committed suicide at age 54 and the details are all over the place and just, something isn’t adding up. My family is Catholic so the whole conversation shuts down when it comes to the details and it’s frustrating to not get closure on how this was a suicide when the … SUICITW: …..

The device, no note and situation of how she was found are not adding up well. Just a really messy situation of lupus disease, a really bad marriage falling into madness, HEAVY substance abuse and just an all around nightmare of a scenario.

. Her and I talked a long time before, both very intoxicated and I shared some depression details that the rest of our family just didn’t want to hear or be around. I understand , they weren’t built in a generation where this was an open conversation and the means and reasons were never released.

I have an incredible sympathy for her pain and all encompassing it was physically, emotionally and socially. It feels like it gets harder to communicate every day with tech just mucking up the waters in most text based emotional human conversations.

So while I am in Chicago this conversion comes up the only time I think it can. Late. And I have been holding my own on the outside but scratching at the walls inside. My medical weed is barely helping and I start just opening up to a friend I see twice a year about this story . And I am just fuckin dying right now because it ended due to the hour and my brain is screaming “YOU ARE STILL A DRU DRUNK YOU ANNOYING FUCK!!! You just don’t stop talking will you? You STILL can’t take a hint even sober.”

I know my friend is good and she did a great jib of grabbing me by the collar and saying “we are your friends. You don’t have to hide yourself. You aren’t bothering me. I am just tired . That’s it. Ok?”

And this was the story:

And I had something happen to me that wasn’t a part of “my sobriety story.” Something that I don’t know how to really explain so I am just writing it down here .

When I was at my worst. Just my saddest really. I got to “fuck it” point and had been living there rent free for a couple months. Good things were in front of me I just couldn’t grab and hold them. Just messy embarrassing shit. But that’s not what really got me to change inside. To make it last. To make it me.

I had this night where I was having suicidal thoughts. The “normal” ones, “you are a fuck up, you are a piece of shit, no one cares if you live.” glug glug all my typical sad drunk sack happy horse shit.

And then (I am now getting chills) I … saw something in my head. Something different. Like I am a cerebral person so I will walk and take a wonder around my changing amusement park mind. The fun rides, the scary rides, the weird corners . That’s all familiar to me. But this was something different. Like I didn’t walk into this room. In my mind . I just ended up there. And there is no door. And I’m not alone. (This is a rabbit hole. Warning is out)

What the fuuuck is this? I didn’t make this room. It feels… oddly cold but welcoming at the same time. Like a dream where you are in your parents house but the furniture is different.

And there is some… thing… in here. It seems pale. And faceless? It’s soothing in a way. Like an old friend you lost touch with that came to visit, but something is off.

It: hi. Me: …. Hi. Can I help you? It: No. I’m fine. Thanks though. Nice place you got here. Nice job of fucking it all up. Me: thanks. Did a real “bang up job amiright?” (I tell jokes to relax my mind) . Im sorry who are you again ? It: a friend

• keep in mind, I am WIDE awake having an internal conversation with something that feels foreign to my mind *

Me: I don’t know you It: yes you do. I have always been here.

I think you know it’s time to go soon.

Me: …. Why?

It: I think you know why Me: maybe. humor me. Let’s compare notes. It: fine (an instant brain crushing list of every fuck up comes crashing down on me. I am just destroyed inside ).

Me: OOOOOUCH. that’s not fair. WHAT the fuck are you?

And then it feels ice cold and black in my mind. Like I am staring at a black flame like the eye of the ring. It goes silent. It wants me to touch it.

I reach out my hand and it’s like what you think it feels like for your skin to just disintegrate and shock with pain. Like dark magic or something worse.

“You had your chance to be a good person. Just look around you. Everythiing you touch is on fire. YOU are the problem. You can’t be a good person anymore. You failed . It would be easier on everyone if you just come with me. You know it’s time. “

And I found the handle and just burst out of that mental room. Slammed it behind me.

No. No fucking WAY. We are NOT going back in there Jopesak (my totally real name). That thing, whatever it is, is not FROM HERE.

You can’t let that thing get out.

……. 🎬

And then. Tonight, it followed me here. To Chicago. When I am alone just stewing in guilt, awkwardness and gripping on to my sobriety by a thread. Can’t sleep. Wired .

And poked up its shitty little bald head. (In my head… kind of)

“Hi Joe. Being sober not what you thought ? Another ‘bang up job?” “Fuck off jack.” “You seem lonely.” “YOU seem lonely . Don’t have any depressed Bears fans tonight to make friends with? I bet you are great at parties. “ “You’d be surprised” “Probably not…. Cute dark joke though. I’m good man, but I got all fucking night. But pull up a seat. Plenty of beer if you want some. “ “I’ll wait.” “Good. Wouldn’t want you to get bored …. You know you don’t belong here right? I belong here. Feel free to get the fuck off my lawn whenever you feel the urge.” …….

And it left.

And now. I am waiting for sleep and wake up sober. Not today Satan.

… or whatever the fuck you are.

Stop by anytime. I’ll be here. I’m not going anywhere .

She had a few glasses throughout the evening.

I go into the kitchen this morning to find the wine bottle in the kitchen.. it is still over 2/3 full!

Madness.

I’m just over 7 weeks in without a drink and tonight was the first night since the first few weeks where I REALLY wanted a drink. Had a bad evening and broke down a bit so getting hammered sounded absolutely choice. I tried to rationalize going to the store before it closed and grabbing a six pack in about ten different ways. I was practically on my way out the door with THOSE thoughts running through my mind (you know the ones)

“It’s okay, you’ve made it so long now. one night won’t hurt. you’ve earned this. you’ve proven that you can handle it. it’s okay. you deserve it”

It absolutely had me for a minute there. I forced myself to go sit back down until the store closed. Mission accomplished. I did not drink with you tonight. <3

Still taking it one day a time. Feel much better and gets easier everyday. IWNDWYT

I gave up vaping and smoking for the most part a couple of years ago. For the last year I only vape when I drink which is a bender every couple of weeks as I try my best to stop completely.

Last night as I was having a couple of 0.0 Heinekens I really wanted to vape! I swear to god I thought it was alcohol that made me crave nicotine it was clearly just whatever bullshit my brain had coupled as “things to do together”. But as I was drinking 0.0 and not alcohol I was able to make the informed decision not to get a vape and drank 3 x 330ml bottles before going to bed at my regular time and sleeping like a baby.

Heineken 0.0 aren’t the tastiest thing in the world but they filled a void. They may just save my life.

My spouse: you can’t hide it from me, I can always tell.

I don’t miss those conversations at all

Today I reallllyyyyyyy wanted to drink. Friday…. Am I right???? I even bought some beer while I was at the grocery store because it sounded good and that little voice in my head told me I deserve it after these many days not drinking…. I decided to text my good friend how I was feeling instead and she immediately set me straight! I’m so happy I decided to text her and get support instead of drinking!!! The support from people really does help. Just thought I’d share :)

2024-04-22

I miss you so much. Sober you is sunshine after many cloudy days. Sober you is gentle, patient, understanding and kind. Sober you makes me feel safe and loved, hopeful about the future. Sober you is stoic and sexy. The connection we have is beyond doubt. Then alcohol is back, it rips sober you away from me. What was once calmness becomes chaos. Drunk you is loud, arrogant and sloppy. Drunk you makes me feel uneasy and doubtful. Drunk you makes me feel so, so alone. Drunk you makes me angry that this is who you prefer to be. I miss sober you... I hope we meet again one day.

Hi SD fam,

I was nervous earlier about going to the airport when I'm only 25 days into sobriety. The airport bar was a huge trigger for me.

I get to the airport and bam, my flight is delayed. Oh great, more temptation. Then it was deleted again. And again. And again. We don't leave until over 4 hours past the original departure time.

But hey, I played the tape forward, told myself drinking won't make the plane come any faster, and waited through it without going to the bar or drinking.

We do recover fam. IWNDWYT, even during a long flight delay.

*We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we're here together!*

**Welcome to the 24 hour pledge!**

I'm pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you're new to /r/stopdrinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you're like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you've been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn't matter if you're still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, lets not drink alcohol!

**This pledge is a statement of intent.** Today we don't set out *trying* not to drink, we make a conscious decision *not to drink*. It sounds simple, but all of us know it can be hard and sometimes impossible. The group can support and inspire us, yet only one person can decide if we drink today. Give that person the right mindset!

What happens if we can't keep to our pledge? We give up or try again. And since we're here in /r/stopdrinking, we're not ready to give up.

**What this is:** A simple thread where we commit to not drinking alcohol for the next 24 hours, posting to show others that they're not alone and making a pledge to ourselves. Anybody can join and participate at any time, you do not have to be a regular at /r/stopdrinking or have followed the pledges from the beginning.

**What this isn't:** A good place for a detailed introduction of yourself, directly seek advice or share lengthy stories. You'll get a more personal response in your own thread.

This post goes up at:

• US - Night/Early Morning

• Europe - Morning

• Asia and Australia - Evening/Night

A link to the current Daily Check-In post can always be found near the top of the sidebar.

It was a privilege to host the DCI this week. Very emotional for me at times, actually.

I know we're all here because we struggle with drinking. I also know that we're more than our drinking, and certainly more than what our drinking can turn us into.

There's a tension there, I think: In focusing on my relationship to alcohol, what I'm really doing is opening myself up to life beyond it.

This is what I find so scary about saying "I will not drink with you today." Anyone can say "forever" or "for the rest of my life" or grand meaningless stuff like that. (Drinking makes you really, really good at saying grand meaningless stuff, I think.) But "today" is tricky because it's right there in front of us and yet we still don't quite know what it means. So: IWNDWYT.

And if you have thirty or more days down and would like to host in the future, reach out to u/SaintHomer. Thanks, all. Enjoy your weekends.

Any non-medical but experiential advice on time of day that it was most effective?

For context... I'm post detox and now on 666 x 3 times a day acamprosate, but that end of work day craving is still there. I'm currently doing around 7am, 12pm and 6pm when I get home from work. To this effect, I've been having a few night time beers, it's nowhere near my previous alcohol intake, but I also understand that's not the point of this drug :( and I'm not feeling proud or happy with myself.

I know it's not a magic fix, and that motivation and support are essential, but wondering if I should start later in the morning and try to build up a stronger base for the 4-5pm cravings when I'm leaving work and walking past that bottle shop...

Any experiences/stories welcomed.

Thanks so much 🙏

Just got home from poker night with the guys. consisted of beer pong and poker really, both things i would be drinking heavy with(i realize i am ass at BP sober -probably a good thing haha). countless times through out the night i had beers passed to me, shots passed my way, and definitely some peer pressure (because these guys think i’m just taking it easy, not that i’m stopping completely). i was so tempted at times. y’all know the thought - you have done so well, reward yourself, it’s just one, and all the other justifications. then i play the tape forward, a mindset this group has taught me. So not today satan, you shot your shot and all i did was step out the way. you missed by a mile.

In turn, i am home sober, and actually have some energy so might listen to The Naked Mind tonight. won’t wake up hungover tomorrow. won’t stay up till 4 am getting wasted alone. and i responsibly got two friends of mine who were drinking home. a plus - i didn’t spend 20$ on taco bell just for me to eat one thing and pass out. saved so much money today, and genuinely enjoyed myself. IWNDWY Tonight!

It's a cold and wet Saturday here. Sport is cancelled and the fire is on. Normally this would be a trigger to start afternoon drinking but not today. I've had a big lunch and I'm going to take my eldest son out for an adventure in the rain. I will never regret not drinking! Have a great day. IWNDWYT

I feel so sick right now... but it's because I decided to put caramel syrup and a squirt of whipped cream from the can to my bowl of Tillamook Peaches and Cream ice cream. I'm so full and so "sugar'ed out", haha!

It's only day 3 for me and I know I'm replacing one vice for another but... one step at a time, right? ....right??

I can’t believe I did. All week, I was able to convince myself that I wasn’t. I’m currently missing out on a much needed catch up with my mum and sister, and I won’t get to have a great day playing tennis and going to the beach with my best friend. For what!?

like the title says, i’m now five weeks sober and i start my fifth week of iop next week. i’m so proud of the progress i’ve mad and the people i’ve met along the way. here’s to not waking up with a hangover. iwndwyt