I have yet to make it through a single day this year without having some form of injury on me. A blackeye, pulled out hair, severe burn wounds that needed medical attention, boxers knuckle from punching walls, and some of the worst cutting imaginable to the point where I have massive headaches the next day with shakiness and feeling lethargic due to bleeding. I hate it but I can't seem to stop. I think it's because I am full of self hate and whenever I mess up, I eat myself alive. Why can I accept that other people have faults and make mistakes but I can't acceptance of myself? Why do I truly think people are good but that I'm not? Does anyone else feel the same? If you do or if you have, what have you done to help it? I'm already in therapy twice a week and in AA (I don't drink but I am a smoker and it's eating me alive) and it's still not enough. I just despise myself. I can't go inpatient because I was assaulted in a hospital and that's what led to my PTSD which causes some of the self harm. I think peer support is so much more helpful.

17f and I just always feel alone even when I’m in a room full of people. Like I could scream help me and still no one would run, worst part, I don’t wanna die. So I’m just stuck in this shitty little life aren’t I.

It’s been 8 years since I’ve done it, and I still have urges. I’ve moved on to different vices, but god I wish people understood this affliction. It’s not as powerful as substances, but it’ll stick with you a long time. I just wish more understood.

Shes my bf’s daughter and i don’t know how he should/could help her. Suggestions? Not sure her extact trauma except a narcissist personality disorder mom. Dad trying to get her to a therapist. She’s 21 and just graduating college. 400 miles away.

Not wanting- The only one?

Hello. I am 17f and I go to public school and I am a competitive dancer; I log about 80+ hours a week in the studio. I wanted to give you guys some info about me so i'm not j a rando u know nothing about and that's not much but it's something.

I was clean for so long probably close to a year before spring break and then i relapsed it's been a month since spring break for me and i only did it on spring break. So i've been clean for a month now but I don't want to be. I wanna do it so bad. I'm scared to do it because of dance,pictures,competition but I might anyway.

I want to relapse so fucking bad. I think about it all day everyday. I don't want to get better though, actually I wanna get worse. I've been doing so well the past year and i'm tired of it i miss what it was before. I want to be as bad as i was before, if not worse. I know this probably makes me sick. I hate that I want that but it really is what I want. I feel like the only person who wants this. Everyone else's post talk about how they wanna get better and i support that and im happy for them but i feel like i am the only one who doesn't. I'm not encouraging it I just want to do it and that's how i feel about it.

Now, the reason im so worried to do it is this weekend i have dance pictures meaning i will be putting on my non converting costumes and taking PICTURES meaning good quality pictures that could possibly capture them and that's terrifying. Another reason is not this weekend but next I have competition meaning I will be dancing changing and just around everyone in costumes that don't cover shit leaving the possibility for them to be seen by not only my team but also by other teams. After that competition I have 4 days until regionals competition meaning the whole thing over again but it determines if i make it to nationals. After regionals I have like a couple of weeks before nationals. So not a whole lot of time for anything.

But despite everything I just said I still wanna do it so bad. I feel like I am the only one who doesn't want to get better.

Hidden.

im only 13 in the 7th grade and I feel like my world is falling down around me I have cuts going up my arms im at the point where I cant get through the dat without cutting and my mom found my cuts as I was sleeping on the couch in a jacket the sleeves rolled up as I was sleeping and she is now worry sick abt me and I want to stop but its the only way I can get a break. how can I stop.

I’m slow. So I ended up cutting again today, after 1 year clean because I found my dad’s razor blades he uses for hair. I only cut once, but it was deep. Damn. I threw it out immediately. I wanna get better

I haven’t cut my hip in like a year and I’m feeling the fucking urge to see that blood pour out. But I know summer is almost here and I don’t want to have more anxiety trying to cover that up….

I 19F stopped sh 2yrs ago and started again some weeks ago and I’ve never been so peaceful in my life. I worked so hard to stop now all that is in the trash. My very visible scars that I still hate made it so hard to live especially as an adult trying to work and study nursing but… I don’t want to quit doing it. Whenever I sh I feel so peaceful. I was in a very bad place when I started and I got treatment and therapy for that, I’m better but I still feel the need to sh. I literally crave it. It makes me feel human and that everything is fine if I’m stressed. I hate permanent scarring but I still love the feeling. I chose to live and if I have to live without this then I don’t want it. I know it doesn’t sound like it but I’m happy, I didn’t start again because I was sad, i restarted it so I can feel peaceful. It’s weird but it’s kinda like a drug to me. (Sorry if my English sucks)

I think about cutting everyday and I feel like I’m constantly fighting myself. The only reason I haven’t cut myself is because I live with my younger siblings and I’m afraid if I start cutting again I won’t be able to stop. And I don’t want them to see that. I have a box of razor blades and bandages that I carry everywhere with me I can’t get rid of it. Sometimes I pick it up open it and it feels like I am begging myself to do it. how do I stop thinking about it

Hiiii I just kinda won't someone who's find with chatting abt yk :/ $|-| soooo uh my dm's r open

So I 26M finally talked to my therapist today. She was super understanding of my situation and how my SH habits that are pretty new for me have gotten worse. She outlined a plan for me to stick to of instituting new healthy coping skills to gradually replace instead. I'm writing this as I'm still planning to cut tonight but I at least have hope 😔🫠 please someone tell me I'm gonna get there. I wanna believe her and the last little hopeful voice left in me. 💔

has anyone had a similar experience or knows wtf happened?

I was maybe 4 cuts in, so no serious blood loss or anything and one of the cuts (definitely a styro) almost didn’t bleed at all.

I felt my vision getting blurry and like i was seeing static and then suddenly the water drops sounded very powerful and loud. I felt like i was gonna faint but then it got better after about 1 min but now my palms were tingly and my neck muscles hurt like hell maybe for another 1-2 min and now everything is fine.

It might not have been from the cut but everything was very weird. Anyone has any clue what happened?

So I finally reached out to my therapist. Haven't had an appointment in weeks (I see her via video chat) as I've been SHing daily and quite frankly having a hard time wanting to stop. Likely won't be able to kick this right away but here's to hoping for progress 😵‍💫 3 months ago if you'd told me I'd be SHing I would've thought you're crazy. But that's what grief and your friend commiting suicide can do to you.

Hi I'm trying to find a place where i can talk and not be judged for what i do. I recently lost my job and my girlfriend of 10 years and it all came on suddendly. I've never cut before but felt really good after i did, did it five times down my wrists. Anyone else in the same boat or have any advice going forward. Just looking for friends or people to talk about this with. Sorry if this is not the norm. Hope we're all going to be ok together ❤️

My 13 yo daughter has cut her thighs and her hip and most recently her wrists and her arms. She says she’s doing it because it gives her an adrenaline rush and makes her feel better when she feels out of control or sad. She’s in therapy and we have a really open relationship so she tells me when it happens but she can’t seem to stop. I am at a loss. What is the best move for her? Do we go as far as inpatient therapy or do we take steps before that? Please help with some suggestions. I want to do what’s best for her, I just don’t know what that is.

I haven't cut for some time, but here I am just the same. I hate getting to this point...long sleeves until I heal....

So I'm 26M. I'm cutting rn. The past two years were really turbulent for me, I was living on my own and evicted from my apartment, had to move home with my parents. I've dealt with various emotional issues (never properly diagnosed) my entire life and lived thru an emotional breakdown over COVID before this all happened. But in January everything came crashing down. End of December my friend committed suicide. I've never dealt with that level of grief, and I started feeling that way/having suicidal thoughts myself. I finally ended up cutting myself. Thought it would be a one time thing. Then I had a setback with another addiction about two weeks later and I cut myself to punish myself. After that I had made up my mind I wasn't gonna do this again. But a few weeks ago the desire was strong again, and I watched a popular TV show which took a deep dive on SH. I ended up going full blown again and now I'm habitually cutting myself every day. I'm having terrifying thoughts of what will happen if I cut my wrists too deep and bleed out. 🥲 But yet again I feel like this is something keeping me from actual suicide. I don't know what to do.

I just started awhile ago and now it’s all I resort to when I’m stressed or crying my eyes out I know it’s bad but it’s the only thing that causes me relief I wanna tell someone but I know it’s not gonna end well if I do I’m stressed and idk what I’m doing

I was clean for two months but again started harming myself...I can't control the urges. Please someone help.Idk what should i do.

This weekend, I discovered my girlfriend of 10 months cut herself several months ago, due to a disagreement that occured between us, and im not sure what to do

I think my parents have caught on to my cutting. I don't know what to do. They care, but they don't. You know? I hate that they only want to get involved with my business for them to feel better about themselves. Bunch of fucks.

My mom almost caught me today when I was opening my arm up a bit because, literally, the best poem I ever wrote in my life got rejected by the school magazine. I don't give a fuck because they just publish sappy love poems anyway. But I thought this one might really speak to people who are going through the same shit I am. God I hate myself and just want to die. How do I avoid my parents for the rest of the weekend?

So recently I have been cutting not deep but enough to bleed. I've been thinking of cutting deeper. Because the tiny cuts and scratches js aren't enough I don't feel them anymore. I wanna know how to cut deeper. Without accidentally killing myself Although that would be nice not yet can anyone help me...

I recently relapsed back into self harming after years of being clean, I’ve started back up less than a week ago. I feel like I’ve grown addicted to cutting, while I’m at work all I can think about is getting home so I can cut. My day could be going perfectly fine and yet I still feel the urge to harm myself, and I don’t know why. Before when I self harmed I didn’t feel the need to all the time like I do now. My life is relatively better than it was a few years ago, but I guess the social aspect is worse as I genuinely have no friends at all anymore. I don’t even think I’m depressed either unless I’ve been chronically depressed this whole time without knowing it. However, when I was depressed before it felt different than I do know. Sorry for the long post this is my first time posting something like this.

What other ways is there to have that relief feeling without sh? I've been clean since June last yr, my goal is to make it a whole yr clean. It's so fucking difficult to calm myself down from any negative emotions, with a few cuts I'll be instantly fine but without it I'm frustrated and angry for days. The rubber band trick dosen't work, it's not the same feeling. I would poke myself sometimes but it dosen't feel the same either. Ig I'm just used to cutting being the only source of relief. I started at 11 and stopped at 20. I keep telling myself to stay clean and if I do for a yr then I can reward myself with a relapse. Ik that's not right, so was there any ways that helped you resist from sh?

I keep relapsing my family can't hide the knives from me because I find them to easily I hate myself my voice my noise my body right now my arm burns and from my wrist to my upper arm is just cuts but I don't regret it the pain feels nice to me it's making me slightly smile I don't want to be here I don't want to live life is just if you die people will eventually move on but my mom she's going through someone I can tell I heard her on the phone tonight her mental health isn't the best not to the point of self harm that I know of and I know if I die it will destroy her for context my mom doesn't make enough money to live alone my dad is not in the picture my mom lives with her mom my grandma and her dad my grandpa is in a nursing home my mom hates her my grandma for her horrible childhood my grandma is a mentality abusive jerk and has gotten better at least with me but the damage has still been done I'm a 12 year old and if I die my mom would be in so much mental pain but it's so hard to keep going I just won't to slit my wrist already and be done with it be done with everything