I didn’t start until my relationship ended it was very long term and my life hasn’t been the same without it. She’ll. Call me out of the blue or text me a few times a week and I know it’s not helping me heal but I can’t let go. I get good for a little bit she calls me we fight then I cut. Tonight was bad, probably the worst I’ve ever cut myself I keep it all in one place because I couldn’t ever let my family find out about it. I don’t know what to do.

If anyone is open to or down for a few s/h questions a fellow suffer has. When was the first time you first curiously and or viciously put the blade to your skin? Can you recall how old you were, or where you were? The thoughts and feelings before, during and after the act pretty much all of us find somewhat repulsive and even gr0ss. When was the last time you did/how old were you last relapse. What are your current thoughts and feelings surrounding the act of self mutilation? Deepest/worst/most memorable moment of scar? I'm willing to share mine if anybody is willing to listen. Thanks!

Hey I know I'm not ready yet because I'm not going to go to school to be a therapist if I'm still cutting I'm going to wait until I have healed. But once I have I was wondering what I should do about my scars? I want to become a therapist but I feel like it would be inappropriate to let people I'm working with see my scars. Should I just wear long sleeves all the time? I will be living in a really hot desert climate state in the future and don't want to overheat and pass out. But I will be in air-conditioning. What do you all think?

I'm starting with a new therapist in a couple of weeks. Any advice on how to tell my new therapist about my cutting? I'm really nervous

like does anyone look at their own scars and wished they had more? or have seen more scars on someone else and wished they looked like them? idk im so confused why i feel like this. i know it’s not normal but i want to know if it’s just me or if anyone else has that feeling as well

on friday my teacher was talking to me and a couple of my friends we were all sitting in a row kinda, and my sleeve went up and i didn’t notice. anyway i was kinda zoned out and when i zoned back in i looked back at the teacher and he was staring at the table. but when i looked down, he was staring at my wrist. i kinda panicked i didn’t know what to do but after a couple moments i pulled down my kaevve and kinda hid my hands under the table. i looked back up and he was staring at me, he looked kinda shocked and worried i think but idk. idk if he actually saw it tho, but i think he did. anyway the cuts were pretty healed, so do teacher still have to talk to u even if they’re healed? cuz i had next class with him too and i thought he’d pull me out to talk to me but he never did. like ik he pulled out one of my friends before cuz he thought he saw smth, and she said he saw it one day and the next pulled her out to talk to her abt it. he’s my maths teacher and my tutor so i see him a lot. but since it was fri he might pull me out mon? idk i’m worried, but they were healed so idk if he will. anyway so will he ask since they’re healed and what do i say? my mam and dad already know, so if i say that will he still call home? so yeah thanks 😭

I’m currently 2 weeks clean. Today was going really well, I cleaned, I handed in my last assignment for grade 11 and then spent some time relaxing a building lego. Then my mum came home and she bought me alcohol. I’m not an alcoholic but I’ve been avoiding drinking since I’ve actually been trying. But I drank anyways. I’ve only had 2 drinks but my head is spinning with thoughts. The thought of drinking more, taking pain killers and relapsing just so I can say I did it. Am I an attention seeker?

I've had like 3 tetanus shots in the past 3 years. Fresh cuts tonight. I wanna stop and not be a cutter. I do not want my family to know I am chopping again!!!!

ok for reference i’m 14f and live in ireland. i asked a question like this a while ago, when i was getting bloods taken but back then my mam didn’t know i sh. since then she found out and she’s making me go to the doctors so he can refer me to a therapist or smth idrk. but anyways, he’s probably gonna ask me to show him the cuts, but i don’t want my mam seeing, so can i ask her to leave the room and will she have to if the doctor asks or whatever? and also there’s marks on my thigh too, so what if he asks to see those😭 and what questions is he gonna ask if anyone’s done this before or just has an idea or whatever so yeah thanks lol

Hey so im kinda scared there’s police outside cause my bitch ass step mom but I don’t have good history with police and I feel like I’m gonna relapse

I keep fucking everything up. Like i even started therapy knowing id be a waste of everyones time.

I was a fucking whole decade clean for fucks sakes 😭 But NooOooooOoooOoOOOo.... Back at fucking square one again.

Im so sick of myself and idek whats the point of shouting into the void.

Im a goddamn adult for fucks sakes why do i still struggle with this cutting shit its pathetic i fucking cant believe im still dealing with this shit..

Whoever reads this considering starting cutting. DO NOT..... When i started i never expected this to turn into a fucked up addiction mixed with masochism and whatever the fuck.

Psychology is so fucking complicated 😭

Ahhhh

i was on call with my friend and i went downstairs to get food, i wasn’t really thinking and i was wearing a short sleeve and when i got downstairs my mam was there. anyway as i was getting food i noticed my mam staring at my arm but i just brushed it off. anyway i went up to my room and i was talking to my friend and after abt ten mins we hung up and i went to go watch smth on my bed. after a bit my mam walked in and confronted me. she was rlly mad, and kept saying oh i can’t believe this and stuff. anyway then she called up my dad and she told him and his face just dropped i felt so bad. and she kept trying to make me show him but i’d put on a jumper so i just kept refusing. anyway i kept asking her to leave and she just wouldn’t and they kept asking me stuff. like my mam was mad but my dad just seemed upset. and she kept saying i was getting these ideas online and stuff and was my life really that bad and stuff. and then my dad asked if they were bad, and my mam was like not really just etching and stuff. and then she googled smth (how to talk to ur children who sh or smth which i found out cuz she admitted it when i took her phone😭) and after that she was nicer, but how do u have to google to be nice after uve figured out someone cuts themselves? anyway they tried to get me to talk to someone but i don’t want to so i said no. Anyway later on after all this they took my blades but i had a few hidden and i relapsed after they went to bed. (tw) but i went deeper then i usually do, like i could see my skin parting. anyway i went into the bathroom to try clean it. it wasn’t bleeding that much but idrk cuz i went and got a towel cuz it didn’t really start bleeding for a bit so most of the blood would be on the towel. anyway i was in the bathroom and i was panicking cuz of how deep i went ans my vision started going foggy. i’ve fainted a lot and ik i was probably abt to so i sat on the ground but i was really shaky ans i was like crying and stuff. anyway i don’t remeber sitting or anything but i woke up on the other side of the bathroom. like while i had fainted, i think i saw my memories and stuff like happy things but i can’t rlly remember i just remeber it being bright and happy. i woke up and i was panicking so i stumbled into my parents room cuz i thought i was gonna die. anyway it stopped bleeding, i think i just fainted cuz i felt sick from seeing the skin splitting and the blood, cuz my stomach felt rlly sick. idk anyway my mam kept saying things cuz my dad went to go get antiseptic cream or something, and she kept saying stuff like oh would u cut the dogs paws? do u wanna cut my wrist? would that make it better? she said it in like a comefoting tone but like wtf. anyway after this i got mad and left their room and went into mine and they came in and were asking abt it and stuff and eventually i just went to sleep after they left. anyway i don’t think my mam meant any of it in a bad way, i think she just didn’t know what to do. but i wish she didn’t get mad at me when she found out originally yk? and i feel so bad for my dad, cuz one of his uncles committed suicide, so he probably thinks i’m gonna do that. and they’re trying to get me to talk to someone like in my school, but i’m not gonna cuz last time i talked to her she ghosted me😭 but i think she just forgot cux she’s genuinely so sweet and nice and i love her but yeah. anyways any ideas why i fainted and how deep did i go? i could see the skin splitting and like white and specks of blood, and then it started bleeding after a while. and opinions abt my mam cuz idk what to think. i love her, and ik she loves me, even tho we haven’t always gotten along, i genuinely just don’t think she knew what to do and handled it badly. but yeah soz for the rant this was so long lol

Started years ago but it’s been a year since, and last time i cut, it was deep and got really infected… it was such a pain to deal with that i just stopped(deep cuts at least). Ever since then i thought about it everyday. I miss seeing the blood & feeling the showers burn… Winters here and it’s getting worse. I have nothing to look forward to in life and if it keeps me going i don’t see a reason not to.. it doesn’t affect anyone bc i don’t even talk to people and i’ve been more suicidal than ever before this past year.. yet everyone always acts like you need help if u cut n there are all these support things for ppl that cut n i just don’t get it

and yea sure you could say that it could be literally for the reason i stopped (infection) but that was just me being stupid and using an old dirty blade..

It’s been harder by the day not to start cutting again my life is slow falling back into the darkness it once was and I need som encouragement or help right now

Hang in there y’all life is rough. Cuts can help you feel better at the moment. They can also make you feel insecure when people see and ask questions. Stay 💪

(14f) i genuinely have no feelings anymore. idk the last time i cried or anything. like i get mad and frustrated and that’s it. i don’t get sad or upset. i just feel empty. idk what’s wrong with me why i can’t feel emotions. like when i’m with my bsf it gets better and i can feel happiness but when i go home i just feel empty. idk i can’t explain it. does anyone have any idea what’s wrong with me cuz i feel like i’m going insane😭 i also have a rlly shitty memory, i don’t remeber any of my childhood, or like months in recent years when i was going thru hard times. idk what’s wrong with me someone pls help before i go insane☺️☺️ i’ve googled the memory thing before and it said to block out trauma which would kinda make sense. like when i was a child i had practically no friends and the two i did have made fun of me and excluded me. and i had rlly low self esteem and couldn’t talk to anyone cuz i was so shy, cuz i was constantly being made fun of my my friends or siblings😭 and my parents (not rlly my dad just my mam) hit me but were european so that’s not that weird, like it was never rlly bad until i was old enough to fight my mam back (pls don’t say i’m a bad child you dk me, i know it sounds bad). that’s when we fought and she pushed me into the bathtub and turned on the tap and was punching mr in the bathtub😭. or when she would hit me with an iron pole or pull my hair and shit. ik that sounds bad it genuinely wasn’t, most people i know we’re hit as kids. but i rember all that fine so idk? and then months in secondary school where (i won’t say depressed cuz i wasn’t diagnosed) but like where i was rlly bad, i have no memory of. literally none. but even like last week i can barely remember? idk. then when i started cutting i remember that night perfectly. but this may when it got bad i don’t remember. but i do remeber this summer where it got rlly bad so yeah any ideas why i’m like this pls😋

Started cutting again after 10 years. Couldn’t see my own blood for some reason, so I branded myself. Now big time into cutting, bathroom looks like a horror movie scene

I got a mssg and pic from one of my mom's old friends. The fucker did like young girls. I won't give details, but both mom and her "friends" used to call me their little retard. He then said he would like to see me again, since I'm so much fun. All I could do was cut, cry...and cut some more.

as the title says, I relapsed a few days ago but have been doing it everyday since. it had been over a month where I hadn't done it and it's only a one time thing I dnt continue but it has been worse than ever and all my teachers have been saying I look so much happier which I think is the trigger for me to start again and I want to tell someone but I dont want my mum to take away my blades or get angry at me. Another thing is that it's day one of my period and iykyk it's shit and I don't want to do this I don't want to be here anymore and I'm not going to do something drastic like try to end it because I know I can't but I just want peace and dnt want to do this anymore.

I have been getting beat down my whole life. Im kind and expect nothing in return. I try to love everyone around me, and in return, I am stepped on, and treated like im less than. It hurts. It hurts so much, and my dad calls me a pussy for not standing up for myself. I have no confidence in myself to do anything. I just freeze in the moment and I wish I didnt.

I started cutting because I hate my personality. I hate that I cant stand up for myself. I hate who I am. I try to be a good man behind doors so I can be great in public, and I get treated like garbage. I hate the way I look, and who I am. If I wasn’t such a pussy maybe id already have killed myself by now.

For now maybe cutting will give me a sense of control. Even though it barely does.

Tomorrow I’m going to the doctors or smth idrk, but I have to get my blood taken cuz my mam thinks I might have low iron I think? Idk but either way I’m getting my blood taken, as well as my brother and sister who are both older then me. I’m 14 btw. Basically, I have sh scars up my left arm and there’s a lot of them. Most are relatively healed but some are fresher. I have no idea what to do. Nobody knows about my sh in my family. I told my mam I was nervous abt getting them done and didn’t want to and she basically told me to get over it and it’s not even that bad😭 Do nurses (or whoever takes ur blood idk who) have to tell ur parents if they see smth? Ik teachers do but idk abt nurses yk. Any tips on how to hide it, idk where the bloods taken from, I’m assuming like top of my left arm yk, the cuts are basically everywhere below my elbow on my left. They’re noticeable like the nurse would definitely see them. Also do yk who’s allowed in the room? Like could I ask to do it without my mam in the room? Since I’m a minor idk. I genuinely have no idea what to do if my mam figured out. She’s really unpredictable, idk she’d either go crazy on me or else just pity me or think I’m stupid and my life isn’t that bad. I don’t want her to know, if she knew she would tell everyone in my family cuz she’d definitely tell my granny who’d tell my uncles and aunty. Like genuinely I’m so fucked at this point idk what to do. And then it’d be super awkward with my family and they’d wanna know why I do it and tbh, half the time idek why I do it myself. So yeah. Any tips on who’s gonna be in the room, if they have to tell ur parents, ideas how to cover it? Anything I mentioned above or anything you think might help me😭

I’ve been clean for 3 months today it’s been hard and I’ve had struggles especially as a teenager but I think I’m doing good

My name is Mandy La Guardia, and I am an associate professor at the University of Cincinnati. We’re hoping to recruit adults (18+) with a history of Non-Suicidal Self-Injury to participate in research. This research study has been approved by the IRB at the University of Cincinnati (IRB Study Number 2024-0462). Participation in the survey is anonymous.

The purpose of this study is to evaluate clinical outcomes and processes associated with the treatment of youth NSSI. Phase one of this study involves a brief online survey, at the end of which participants can indicate interest in an interview. If you elect to be interviewed and meet criteria, you will receive monetary compensation for your time.

Eligible individuals will be 18 years or older with a history of non-suicidal self-injurious behaviors (cutting, burning, etc.) who attended counseling as a youth and are willing to complete a 10-minute survey reflecting on their experiences in treatment as well as report on their current mental health.

The survey link and informed consent can be found here: https://uceducation.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_57GcXv6zeFf1AVM

Thank you for your consideration,

Mandy La Guardia, PhD, LPCC-S

Associate Professor of Counseling

School of Human Services, CECH

University of Cincinnati

Harmed myself, while being aware of why and wtv- ig yk. I don't think I've ever mindfully harmed myself, as a child maybe a time or two but idek why at that time.

My main question is what do I do- as of late i haven't had many urges to do so, but in general recently, it's happened. I've never gone thru with it. But I'm quite afraid sometime i may, not (re) but relapse ig-. It's rlly always confused me, does any1 have any advice, I don't necessarily fw therapy or anything which ik that makes it harder, maybe worse yk but 🤷‍♂️ is there smth that may help me when I have these thoughts?

I don't rlly have many of any ppl i trust talking to either.

Ik this is very, kinda 'idk either' type of deal- but id rlly appreciate any help yall may have! Thank u for reading.

I haven't cut in a few months...had my up days and a shitload of down days. The other day, I was in the shits, debating using, suicide or to cut. I even entertained myself while cutting. I won't give details to trigger someone, but this was my way out of using or offing myself. Today, I was seriously thinking about getting spun, just to turn my brain off for awhile. Instead, just played with my cuts and calmed myself down.

I hate long sleeves but we got to what we got to do. Do you guys knows eastier spots to cut and to hide ? Or maybe make-up technique of bandages ? I tried coverin with concealer but its so obvious. Any ideas to cut and for no one to find out?

So as the title says...I relapsed and it sucks. Not just to have to hide the cuts, but I haven't cut since I was 14 and then I fell back into it when I had to go from college dorms to commuting from home (living an hour away) then I was cleaning my room for the first time since moving back in and found the old kit...if you can call a little box with a shit ton of razors and some gauze a kit. It's so embarrassing to be 19, in college, and hiding fresh cuts. But here I am. Maybe I need to get my medicine cocktail rebalanced...

When I started cutting I hadn't realized how addicting it could be.

Quem aí é brasileiro e se interessar em meu discurso por favor entre em meu grupo,meu grupo de suicidio brasileiro lá vc consegue amigos,dicas,ajuda,desabafa,e vc é livre,sinta-se feliz com meu grupo!

Nome: Suicídio Br

Anyone who is Brazilian and is interested in my speech, please join my group, my Brazilian suicide group. There you can find friends, tips, help, vent, and you are free, feel happy with my group!

Name: Suicídio Br

I relapsed for the first time in 6 years. I see my partner this weekend and I don’t know what to do. Does anyone have any advice on how to make them heal faster?