im four months clean and want to cut. can i? its so hard to hide the fresh cuts.

Hello. It has been a year since my last post, I wanted to say that I am alive and well. Tomorrow I will be 100 days clean from self harm and many months clean from alcohol. I did develop an eating disorder, which I'm working on. I am in therapy, and I go every Monday. Sadly, within the last year, I have gained alot more scars, deeper and bigger, some raise my skin, I have some that make my skin dip in. I had planned to end my life on my birthday in February last year, I am glad I didn't. I still struggle from time to time with mental health, but I am getting better. Took me almost 2 decades.

To anyone struggling, my dms are open and I won't judge🫂

I have about 3 months ago started to cut and I don’t know how to stop it is getting worse the cuts are getting longer and deeper I start to cry knowing it bad but I can’t any advice

Plsss I need friends

Hi there.. My bonus daughter started to cut her self, about two years ago, she is now 16 yo, she is open about it, and I have suggested to talk to a psychologist, but she refuse… Have suggested her to talk with a Contact person from the municipality… But she don’t won’t to do that either… I can fix anything that is mechanically broken.. But I can’t fix a broken mind… I am hoping that someone in this sub reddit, have been where she is, and came out of it… That can help me, helping her…🙏 I am so lost, and so sad, I am feeling so helpless and so much powerless to see her suffer, and I can only watch, cause I do not have a clue how to help her…😞 And I don’t have a clue why she does it, either have she…

Love is like catching smoke with yours hands 🖤

help ??? hit beans yestrtday (MIGHTVE) hit a vein and now the movement and feeling in my left hand is rlly fuckibg weird idk if it’s related but that’s why i’m making all these typos, not even autocorrect can save me

I don’t have any friends and need some

I am freaking out right now. I dropped a razor, one of the thin ones from a shaving razor, on my gray carpet and I can’t find it anywhere. My roommate has three cats and not only would I die if they got hurt, she would k!ll me. Do you guys know any way to find a dropped razor like this? We don’t even have a vacuum but I can get one eventually (money).

Also do you think the cats would actually grab it? It’s so small and probably not fun but I have very little experience with cats.

Ahhhhh help???? These little babies are amazing I don’t wan’t them hurt.

It’s new years and I’m alone my dad’s passed out my siblings are at their moms houses and my uncle is at some guys house and I feel extremely lonely and close to relapse My DMs are open

I'm trying to let the scars on my shoulder heal so I can go swimming in the summertime in the future but I still want to cut. Idk where I should cut to not be seen in a swimsuit (one piece suit btw)

i have had various mental health problems for years and been to a facility before and i recently had a breakdown but i got put on new meds and im feeling less depressed and bipolar but for some reason im getting strong urges to cut and thats not even been a method of sh for me in the past so im just confused. i dont want to die right now but i wanna make myself bleed and its jusr new and confusing

for the most part, i don't. it's rare that I'll begin cutting myself while crying and finish while still crying.

is it normal to rarely ever cry?

I (29F) didn’t actually cut till early 20s. I had a traumatic experience that led to that direct beginning but years later I realized that I was already exhibiting SH behavior through middle and high school, I just didn’t know what it was because it wasn’t the traditional method (things like “accidentally” burning my arm ironing my school uniform or straightening my hair, hitting my head or knees with my fists out of frustration, etc.) looking back though, I’m not sure how I even arrived at those actions as a way of venting emotion or what exactly led me to the traditional method (I know the event but I mean what in my brain said “this is how we cope with this?”). Just wondering if anyone’s thought about what exactly it is that led to these particular actions and then what draws us back to them even when we want to stop or be clean?

For some context I’ve been clean about 4 months

I just got frustrated and I grabbed a blunt object and ran it along my wrist, I’m not sure if that’s a good thing cause I did it without even thinking about it

For the last year I have used Diabetes Lancets on hard surfaces ie kneecap, bone of wrist, knuckles, and away from the veins. but I find the pain tolerable now. Is there a safe way or route to increase the pain? In advance, thanks

This subreddit has been a huge help to me in the past and I just want to say thank you to everyone I’ve managed to stay clean and now I’m 4-5 months clean I’ve lost track but this is a huge help to everyone reading

So I have made several little silver trinket razorblade bracelets for, honestly, only fellow self harmers(active or otherwise) But not without asking how they feel about it. If it triggers/is harmful/ or glorifying, or would they even honestly wear something that, edgy and potentially viewed as offensive. I have made four so far out of the five I have asked. And the one no was because her 17 year old sister who is actively struggling and she didnt want to trigger. That being said, I honestly love my little blade bracelet. I see it as embracing that aspect of my current existence, which is something I struggle with. Without my tattoos, I used to often push my brain to dissociate and pretend these marred and messed up arms and legs, sides and what not were not my own when I do not agree with my past actions. Also I heard through the grapevine i do this behavior for attention. So I embraced it by donning a razorblade on the most stereotypical spot known for us cutters. Because honestly, fuck that opinion. I never have for that reason. But I digress.

If anyone is open to or down for a few s/h questions a fellow suffer has. When was the first time you first curiously and or viciously put the blade to your skin? Can you recall how old you were, or where you were? The thoughts and feelings before, during and after the act pretty much all of us find somewhat repulsive and even gr0ss. When was the last time you did/how old were you last relapse. What are your current thoughts and feelings surrounding the act of self mutilation? Deepest/worst/most memorable moment of scar? I'm willing to share mine if anybody is willing to listen. Thanks!

Hey I know I'm not ready yet because I'm not going to go to school to be a therapist if I'm still cutting I'm going to wait until I have healed. But once I have I was wondering what I should do about my scars? I want to become a therapist but I feel like it would be inappropriate to let people I'm working with see my scars. Should I just wear long sleeves all the time? I will be living in a really hot desert climate state in the future and don't want to overheat and pass out. But I will be in air-conditioning. What do you all think?

I'm starting with a new therapist in a couple of weeks. Any advice on how to tell my new therapist about my cutting? I'm really nervous

like does anyone look at their own scars and wished they had more? or have seen more scars on someone else and wished they looked like them? idk im so confused why i feel like this. i know it’s not normal but i want to know if it’s just me or if anyone else has that feeling as well

on friday my teacher was talking to me and a couple of my friends we were all sitting in a row kinda, and my sleeve went up and i didn’t notice. anyway i was kinda zoned out and when i zoned back in i looked back at the teacher and he was staring at the table. but when i looked down, he was staring at my wrist. i kinda panicked i didn’t know what to do but after a couple moments i pulled down my kaevve and kinda hid my hands under the table. i looked back up and he was staring at me, he looked kinda shocked and worried i think but idk. idk if he actually saw it tho, but i think he did. anyway the cuts were pretty healed, so do teacher still have to talk to u even if they’re healed? cuz i had next class with him too and i thought he’d pull me out to talk to me but he never did. like ik he pulled out one of my friends before cuz he thought he saw smth, and she said he saw it one day and the next pulled her out to talk to her abt it. he’s my maths teacher and my tutor so i see him a lot. but since it was fri he might pull me out mon? idk i’m worried, but they were healed so idk if he will. anyway so will he ask since they’re healed and what do i say? my mam and dad already know, so if i say that will he still call home? so yeah thanks 😭

I’m currently 2 weeks clean. Today was going really well, I cleaned, I handed in my last assignment for grade 11 and then spent some time relaxing a building lego. Then my mum came home and she bought me alcohol. I’m not an alcoholic but I’ve been avoiding drinking since I’ve actually been trying. But I drank anyways. I’ve only had 2 drinks but my head is spinning with thoughts. The thought of drinking more, taking pain killers and relapsing just so I can say I did it. Am I an attention seeker?

I've had like 3 tetanus shots in the past 3 years. Fresh cuts tonight. I wanna stop and not be a cutter. I do not want my family to know I am chopping again!!!!

ok for reference i’m 14f and live in ireland. i asked a question like this a while ago, when i was getting bloods taken but back then my mam didn’t know i sh. since then she found out and she’s making me go to the doctors so he can refer me to a therapist or smth idrk. but anyways, he’s probably gonna ask me to show him the cuts, but i don’t want my mam seeing, so can i ask her to leave the room and will she have to if the doctor asks or whatever? and also there’s marks on my thigh too, so what if he asks to see those😭 and what questions is he gonna ask if anyone’s done this before or just has an idea or whatever so yeah thanks lol

Hey so im kinda scared there’s police outside cause my bitch ass step mom but I don’t have good history with police and I feel like I’m gonna relapse

I keep fucking everything up. Like i even started therapy knowing id be a waste of everyones time.

I was a fucking whole decade clean for fucks sakes 😭 But NooOooooOoooOoOOOo.... Back at fucking square one again.

Im so sick of myself and idek whats the point of shouting into the void.

Im a goddamn adult for fucks sakes why do i still struggle with this cutting shit its pathetic i fucking cant believe im still dealing with this shit..

Whoever reads this considering starting cutting. DO NOT..... When i started i never expected this to turn into a fucked up addiction mixed with masochism and whatever the fuck.

Psychology is so fucking complicated 😭

Ahhhh

i was on call with my friend and i went downstairs to get food, i wasn’t really thinking and i was wearing a short sleeve and when i got downstairs my mam was there. anyway as i was getting food i noticed my mam staring at my arm but i just brushed it off. anyway i went up to my room and i was talking to my friend and after abt ten mins we hung up and i went to go watch smth on my bed. after a bit my mam walked in and confronted me. she was rlly mad, and kept saying oh i can’t believe this and stuff. anyway then she called up my dad and she told him and his face just dropped i felt so bad. and she kept trying to make me show him but i’d put on a jumper so i just kept refusing. anyway i kept asking her to leave and she just wouldn’t and they kept asking me stuff. like my mam was mad but my dad just seemed upset. and she kept saying i was getting these ideas online and stuff and was my life really that bad and stuff. and then my dad asked if they were bad, and my mam was like not really just etching and stuff. and then she googled smth (how to talk to ur children who sh or smth which i found out cuz she admitted it when i took her phone😭) and after that she was nicer, but how do u have to google to be nice after uve figured out someone cuts themselves? anyway they tried to get me to talk to someone but i don’t want to so i said no. Anyway later on after all this they took my blades but i had a few hidden and i relapsed after they went to bed. (tw) but i went deeper then i usually do, like i could see my skin parting. anyway i went into the bathroom to try clean it. it wasn’t bleeding that much but idrk cuz i went and got a towel cuz it didn’t really start bleeding for a bit so most of the blood would be on the towel. anyway i was in the bathroom and i was panicking cuz of how deep i went ans my vision started going foggy. i’ve fainted a lot and ik i was probably abt to so i sat on the ground but i was really shaky ans i was like crying and stuff. anyway i don’t remeber sitting or anything but i woke up on the other side of the bathroom. like while i had fainted, i think i saw my memories and stuff like happy things but i can’t rlly remember i just remeber it being bright and happy. i woke up and i was panicking so i stumbled into my parents room cuz i thought i was gonna die. anyway it stopped bleeding, i think i just fainted cuz i felt sick from seeing the skin splitting and the blood, cuz my stomach felt rlly sick. idk anyway my mam kept saying things cuz my dad went to go get antiseptic cream or something, and she kept saying stuff like oh would u cut the dogs paws? do u wanna cut my wrist? would that make it better? she said it in like a comefoting tone but like wtf. anyway after this i got mad and left their room and went into mine and they came in and were asking abt it and stuff and eventually i just went to sleep after they left. anyway i don’t think my mam meant any of it in a bad way, i think she just didn’t know what to do. but i wish she didn’t get mad at me when she found out originally yk? and i feel so bad for my dad, cuz one of his uncles committed suicide, so he probably thinks i’m gonna do that. and they’re trying to get me to talk to someone like in my school, but i’m not gonna cuz last time i talked to her she ghosted me😭 but i think she just forgot cux she’s genuinely so sweet and nice and i love her but yeah. anyways any ideas why i fainted and how deep did i go? i could see the skin splitting and like white and specks of blood, and then it started bleeding after a while. and opinions abt my mam cuz idk what to think. i love her, and ik she loves me, even tho we haven’t always gotten along, i genuinely just don’t think she knew what to do and handled it badly. but yeah soz for the rant this was so long lol

It’s been harder by the day not to start cutting again my life is slow falling back into the darkness it once was and I need som encouragement or help right now