Ive been married for two years my brother in law caught me masterbating 8 months ago and forced me to give him oral im male and ive been doing it just to keep the peace in the family she loves her brother but for the last two weeks hes been sexual assulting me anally and i dont like it hes takin bondage pictures of me and blackmales me with them its gone too far i thought it would stop but hasnt i live my wife dearly and dont know what to do

A week ago Saturday what was supposed to be just a night out with my bestfriend, turned into the worst thing i have endured in my life so far.

We met up with our friend at a local bar, he was here visiting as he lives a ways away. We meet one of his aquaintences, and he automatically was super overly flirty and would not stop complimenting me. I wasnt really entertaining it much. He pushed all of us to go hangout at his house, so we were all planning to meet there. He ended up riding in the car with me, due to events that lead up to that. He made me pull over to the side of the road because he saw his “plug”, left the car for 2 mins then came back (this matters later). Car ride really wasnt a big deal, i kept asking making sure my friend my friend was also going to his house because i had told him im not going there without her. A second later she calls me, tells me they are all at a bar, and he tries to convince me not to go, hes very pushy, but i say were going.

We get to the bar, nothing to out of normal, i did notice how he knew every person in that bar but stated he hated the bar when i was driving prior. I had a few beers there, he did keep trying to grope me but i would try and move away. Mostly hung out with my 2 friends, he did keep trying to get me to leave early. We do all end up leaving, hes claimjng our friend who doesnt live here is coming as well. my friend is riding with his friend that basically also lives with him (this is why earlier she didnt ride with me initially to his place, he claimed his friend wasnt able to drive), the guy ends up driving me. I do have an open beer in the car. Car ride i barely remember. We arrive to his place, friend is there too, this is when the night completely turns into a blur.

What i remember is us getting there, all sitting in the living room just hanging out as normal. Once again i do have a beer open. He flaunts a bunch of stuff to us, sometime during the night i end up sitting next to him. Dont remember much of this. I got up to use the restroom twice, thats when we somehow changed spots on the couch so he was closed to my drink then i was, he probably used this time to drug my beer if he didnt already at the bar or in the car. He pulls out a bag of “coke” he takes a bump, gives my friend a bump, and his friend a bump. I dont do shit like that so i refused. 10 minutes later my friend is sicker than hell. Within another 10 minutes im nearly incapacitated on the couch also feeling sicker than hell. I had a total of 8 drinks from 830pm-230am.

I dont remember much of the rest of the night except for key points. Somehow i walked to his bedroom, undressed myself. He put me in doggy style, instantly put something in my ass, and then also made me hold a vibrator to myself. I was very oddly compliant, like nothing really mattered basically, i had no sense of reality. I could feel my body getting heavier, i remember losing grip of the vibrator and subconsciously (even though i was barely there) thinking, me losing grip doesnt make sense? And then it drops. And then somehow i end up on my back. All i remember from being on my back is him sucking my toes. Then i somehow ended up further on the bed, as i was down towards the end originally. I remember him coming up next to me, and then just like that, completely unconscious for atleast 3 hours.

I came to it at around 6am, when i did i remember waking up and instantly feeling him inside me. I dont know if he was going so rough that it woke me up, or if i just was aware of the penetration. I remember looking down, i could see him but the entire room beyond him looked like as if i was in a fishbowl. My legs were propped up over him, he was horizontal while i was on my back. He pulled out the second he realized i was awake. This is when i checked my phone and saw it was 6am. I couldnt physically keep awake, so i passed back out until a few hours later. I felt so crazy like shit in the morning, never have felt that before, and my friend was asking where i was. In the morning he was very pushy about getting us out. My friends pants were unbuttoned when she woke up in the morning, but she had a bodysuit on that was hard to get off. She believes she wasnt assaulted.

I remember getting in my car, instantly telling my friend he fucked me in my sleep. We both still were not in a conscious reality state. I barely remember the drive home, just a few parts.

I have bruises all over my body, my ass was sore and still is sore. I have bruised ribs. Toxicology came back with nothing of significance, I reported 3 days after it happened because i didnt know if it was worth it. Im waiting to hear from a detective, hopefully sooner than later. I am honestly a wreck, trying to cope, and somehow figure out how im going to continue with having relationships with men. The first few days after i couldnt get out of bed. Some days are worse than others.

I wonder if i was recorded, tag teamed, i have literal bite marks, im like what did this man do to me? If anybody has experience with how long it took regarding the court system, id like some advice. He has a pretty lengthy criminal record.

I feel like my little sister is being raped/molested by her dad. What are signs ? I feel like it's hard because I come off crazy because that's her dad .

I've seen unusually things like a father shouldn't be touching a daughter like that through her clothes !

I've spoken to my mom and everyone else about it and no one cares ... he tends to lock her in the room when they're home alone and now he takes her to work since is winter break ....

I asked her why does she go with him to work when she can just be home with everyone (my other siblings) and she said because she went to get food ? (Which is weird because if she ask any of my siblings they'll by her food or cook for her/ he barely likes buying her food/ clothes , etc)

And now I'm wondering ? Does he take her to work to be more free of touching her ? I saw this YouTube video of a guy raping m/killed his step daughter but saying he took her early to get McDonald's so now I'm just going crazy with everyone I've witness . She doesn't come over my a house anymore supposedly because my relationship w my bf can get rocky around her and trust me I know I shouldn't fight w my bf in front of her . He works a lot now and I ask her to come but she doesnt and I feel like her dads the REAL reason because I started questioning last time I asked her and she just cried she didn't say why she cried until I was like "is it bcus me and -------- fight ?

And she said yeah , but I'm thinking maybe she just said it ?

I just get this feeling he's done or is doing something to her and no one's listening ....

One time I was also tellling someone about the situation of seeing him touch her through her pants and he was eaves dropping from the hallway and when I opened the door he ran fast into another room I can only hope it isn't true but what I've seen makes it hard ... and God help them the day she tells me ....

A guy I was with continued sex with me without a condom, which I told him I was not okay with. I also started realizing how creepy and pushy he was about sex. I have a baby girl from this. I love her so much. I broke up with him before she was born and he is now threatening to find a lawyer and insists on being in her life. I'm going to find a lawyer of my own to figure out what I can do to prevent him from weaseling his way into her life.

I'm so worried about court decisions. What if they somehow think it's better for child well-being that he's involved? So now I'm stuck thinking about it every single day and reliving every sucky interaction with him.

I also have a son from a previous relationship. His dad is a total narcissistic jerk. He was emotionally abusive, and I do believe he sexually assaulted me at least once the more I think about it. I don't want him in my son's life (he hardly is currently) I know he can get petty and vindictive. So once again, I'm scared of courts because I don't want him having any more involvement than he does currently. I know he'd make me out to be some delusional person

And then I think about all the other times I've been SAed and I feel weird I'll be looking into therapy

How am I supposed to ever trust anyone enough to have a healthy relationship, or to trust myself?

I texted my area’s help service to get comfort because I was SA’d a good while ago and after a 30 minute wait, someone texted back smt along the lines of “hello, what’s wrong?” And then right after I replied, no more response and an automated message tells me the chat was closed and I should try again the next day.

a few weeks ago i went to my friends function (he’s in a frat). one of my friends and one of his tagged along with us. we all got really really drunk and went to the venue. he was getting close, touching me, kissing me all night and that was fine. we went back to the frat house after and me and him ended up alone for a while. we made out and he told me he wanted to have sex, i said i didn’t want to but i was fine with other stuff. he said it was ok and we didn’t have to, so we started doing that other stuff instead. he ended turning me around and rubbing against me, and after a little bit i told him again that i didn’t want to go farther. he said ok and we sat in his couch and we did other stuff that i was ok with. my memory gets not as good here, i was drunk and very sleepy. i think i remember seeing him take his penis out again looking like he wanted to put it in, but i said no again. and we kept doing other stuff and i let my eyes close and my head tilt back for a little bit. i don’t know how long it lasted, i just remember suddenly realizing he wasn’t using his fingers anymore, looking up and saying his name. when i said his name he stopped and sat back down by me. i remember putting my skirt back on and him holding me by my hips, kissing me and sitting me down on his roommates bed. i told him i didn’t want to do anything on his roommates bed. we ended up just sitting back down on the couch until my friend came into the room and called us an uber home.

i don’t know to call this rape or not? my memory isn’t super spot on from that night, i know he was in me at one point but im not sure for how long it was before i stopped him. if how long it lasts matters at all.

GF recently confessed she was raped a few months ago. More like a kidnapping rape as she was apparently locked in the rapist's home for a few days. It's all quite shocking and I'm struggling to reconcile with knowledge of these events. I have a few questions I have written below.

1. It must have been incredibly traumatic yet she doesn't "seem" traumatized, I never would have suspected such a horrifying experience to have occurred so recently. Is this normal? ( she seems to enjoy sex and have normal libido? ) . Also, when she told me she didn't cry or choke up etc. The way she told it was more akin to someone telling about a minor bad experience like being lied to.

2. I don't how to approach this situation, I have a lot of questions about what happened yet I feel like it isn't my place to ask nor do I want to trigger past trauma. But the knowledge of these events is eating me up and I've been acting a bit strange which I think she has picked up on.

3. When we have sex I inevitably think about her rape as it crosses my mind, I feel like I need to treat her differently during sex since she is a rape victim (more gently? ? ) I don't know if that would be worse.

I am F17 he is M17 we are both in our in my senior year of high school, and this happened last fall a week or two after home coming. We had driven to our favorite spot to hang out, a hidden spot behind a hill to park down by a river. Around this time my painic attacks had hit an all time spike. (I hyperventilate and go into a state where I can’t speak) He had coached me through many of my worst attacks, and knew how negatively I had been affected by them. In an effort to combat these attacks I would take Benadryl to slow my body down, the only downside to this is that I become extremely groggy and not aware of my surroundings. I had an attack while we were getting sexual, which had happen before, and he proposed that we stop being sexual for a while. I took a Benadryl to calm my self down but it was raining and I hate the rain. So he built us a sweet little fort in the back seat of his small 2001 Buick La Sabre. And we put on a movie and feel asleep. I had woken up but chosen to just stay laying there because I was still very groggy. I felt him pull it out of his boxers (he had his boxers on and I was still fully nude) and he noticed I was up and started to kiss me. And I went down and gave him some head. He then flipped me over so he was planked ontop of me and kissing me. As he would move I felt his dick insert slightly into me 3 times. And then he kissed me a bit more and it was over.

We then got up, and I was so groggy still but I knew something was wrong. He had me take down the fort because I was small enough to get it down without making it all tumble. Then on the car ride home I realized that what was done was rape, I had agreed to not having any more sexual contact. That was something he had proposed, that was his idea and he went back on it. He went back on it knowing how Benadryl affects me.

In the days that followed I had immense emotional distress, but I didn’t cry. I had panic attacks and reoccurring dreams and thoughts of the night. I told a friend who went and told a bunch of people and stopped listening to my story betraying my trust and ultimately losing my friendship. And me and him were rocky, I wanted him but I was scared of him. We went on breaks on and off, broke up at one point, and we’re still together now. But I still have this deep inner fear of him.

We have spoken about it since, and his reasoning for going back on his word was that he had just woken up and forgotten. And I’ve just had to accept that, because I still love him.

Last Friday night we were in my bed, I feel asleep and had one of my reoccurring dreams and woke up. And I just couldn’t take his touch and was afraid by it. And he just really wanted to comfort me by holding and touching me, but I was afraid and couldn’t vocalize it.

Can anyone give me advice?

My man pissed me off the other day and I told him I didn’t wanna have sex cuz he was being mean. He then kept trying over and over and I kept saying no. I kept saying I don’t want to at all and he still was one top of me trying so hard to. Fast forward he then proceeded to pull my pants off and shoved it in. After a while it felt good don’t get me wrong but I told him no sooo many times never said yes.

I need some advice on how to feel comfortable with masturbation. For as long as I can remember I have felt really anxious about other people masturbating. Also, even when I try to masturbate I feel really uncomfortable, kind of guilty in a way or like I’m doing something wrong. I am in a really good relationship with my boyfriend, we are so happy and he is so perfect. The only issue we have is that I don’t like that he watches porn and masturbates. He does it often, multiple times a day and multiple times during the night. We have talked about how I feel and he has been doing it less, but he also lies to me about doing it when I know he is. Sometimes he admits to it and it makes me feel a little better that I know and he is being honest with me, but truthfully I don’t want him doing it at all. I know masturbating is normal but I have a hard time accepting that. It makes me really uncomfortable and makes me feel very anxious. A little back story, when I was younger, about age 9-13 my mom dated a guy that used to groom me. I woke up multiple times to him touching me and jerking off. When I told my mom, she said I must have been dreaming. She completely disregarded what he was doing to me, but that’s beside the point. Also, when I was about 14 I had a guy friend stay the night and he did the same thing. He was touching me and jerking off and I just froze and let him finish while he thought I was sleeping. I am assuming I am traumatized by these events as I was in my own home and in my own bed and was touched without consent while they were sexual with themselves. But, my question is, how do I get over these feelings of anxiety when someone is masturbating? My boyfriend and I are in love and our sex life is great, but I find myself having a really hard time with the thought of him masturbating. The watching porn bothers me as well, but I don’t know if that’s an insecurity issue or past trauma haunting me. We have had many conversations about this topic and he knows how I feel, but how do I get over these feelings of anxiety about it?

Warning next I’m going to talk about rape/SA #r@pe #SA #isthisnormal

Is finding things like porn or things related to it a coping mechanism for some people even if they hate the thought of doing anything related to it? They feel like a piece of shit though, and they’re trying to find ways that validate themselves.

Soo I got invited with my friend to a party.

I drank a little too much and at one point I started passinng out, I remember how my friend and another guy dragged me upstairs to a bedroom and how I fell on the bed. Before that, everything was fine, no one like touched me inappropriately or groped me. The next thing I remember was I could feel someone on top of me, and a thrusting motion throughout my whole body like in sex, but I couldn’t open my eyes, move or scream, I was like paralyzed but I felt everything... It felt like I was locked in my body.. it's bits and pieces but I remember being in and out of consciousness a couple of times, and both times it felt like someone was raping me, and then emptiness..

Could it be just a horrible dream?

Also when I woke up in the morning I felt really bad, nauseous, dizzy, but it was probably from the alcohol. The worst thing was that my whole body ached terribly, my breasts and vagina felt really sore.. I checked with my phone everything down there and it seemed okay-ish except it was a little pink but no blood. I didn't notice anything on the bed and I calmed down a little. But then I went pee and I felt something came out of me and I saw something white on my underwear that looked so much like sperm. I dunno I'm freaking out rn and I'm shaky all over again and I don't know what to do...

My first boyfriend raped me, that relationship ended about three years ago which is almost the length of the relationship itself (4 years), even when I know it's a process, sometimes I feel I should be over it, that it wasn't that bad or that I'm just overreacting somehow. There are good days but some days I just keep remembering everything and blaming myself, I can't help but wonder, will it get better? Will I ever feel "normal" again?

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 3 months and I care about her a lot. I know 3 months isn’t considered a long time to be dating someone but we live in the same dorm at college and basically spend every day together. Since after the first week of us meeting we have almost always been freaky or done sexual stuff at night when we had the chance. While not being the most important part of our relationship, being intimate in a sexual way is very important to me in a relationship and it is a major way in how I express my feelings towards her. But, all of a sudden she is saying that she wants to stop doing anything sexual or “freaky”. She doesn’t even know for how long but she says recently she’s been feeling awful after we do anything sexual. She says it’s mainly because she was in a relationship with someone that sexually assaulted and abused her and now she is feeling her ptsd all of a sudden. I feel so bad for her that she had to go through that and I completely understand why she wants to take a break but I don’t know if this will create tension between us in the future. I’m a pretty sexual person with a pretty high sex drive and I honestly don’t know if I can go long without any sexual encounters with her. I feel like it may cause me to build resentment for her if she continues to not want to do anything. But I also really don’t want to lose her and she means so much to me. What should I do or what would y’all do in this situation. Any feedback would be so helpful 🙏

This is my first time on reddit because I really don’t have anyone to talk to and I want to stay anon. A friend hosted a New Year's party at one of their relative's house, and most people got quite drunk. During the party, one of the boys approached me, and we started chatting, which led to some flirting. I tend to get attached quickly, so we ended up spending some together. Later he made a sexual advance, I wasn’t ready and rejected that specific move, he then SAed me. I’m conflicted about who to blame since we were both drunk, and I was the more attached one. Its also been hurting im scared i might be pregnant to contracted some sort of std. I havnt talked to anyone since that and barely even spoke to my parents. I feel guilty, embarrassed and comepletely miserable the whole thing and dont know how to get over this so i could really use some guidance on what to do.

What would you do if you were drugged at a bar, five guys grabbed you and shoved a stick up your ass and the police said they would steal your identity if you went to them?

Lost story short I was drugged and raped 12 years ago, by a friend (who’s a boy), I ended up pregnant, I did not have any memory of being rapped, but when I fell pregnant my (my brain had took any trauma that I had and kinda just deleted it, so my therapist said) until about 4 years ago and I started regaining some memories back it wasn’t good at all I had a complete mental breakdown (but my therapist said my brain basically said that I’m safe now to deal with the trauma) but I noticed after having my child I never went to the doctors and realized it’s due to possibly being touched so I haven’t had a physical in 12 years nor seen a gyno either, but I want to make sure I am health. But I have a fear of being touched inappropriately so that’s why I don’t go. What is some advice you can give on this matter. I just want to make sure I’m okay and healthy.

a) Numb about it, and can talk about it fairly easily with little emotion

b) Laughing, like, “Wow, that was a fucked up thing to live through!”

c) Crying, and start thinking about how people have truly tortured you?

Using NSFW tag just in case

This a long and nuanced situation, thank you in advance to anyone who reads the whole thing.

I (30F) was sexually assaulted by someone I consider or considered to be a dear friend (30M) on multiple occasions, with the most recent being a straw that broke the camel's back so to speak. This took place about a month ago.

For this story, the friend is question is Harry. And to give a bit of background on myself, I have an unfortunately long list of instances that are both one-offs and re-occurring situations of sexual violence against me ranging from harassments to rape. I had formal therapy as a very young child, and couldn't complete that program due to home circumstances. So as an adult, I've had no therapy or professional support/intervention. In most cases I have frozen up in said situations or gotten through them as quietly as possible and distanced myself from what happened and who did it.

For this particular situation, I've acted in a similar fashion with one difference. I remained friends with Harry through multiple happenings for varying reasons, and while some distance did accumulate, we'd gotten closer in recent years and things seemed different, better, and safe.

Back in 2012 I met Harry, we hit it off, we went on a few dates, we slept together. At the time, it was just a one-off, and it didn't go anywhere following that because we were both going off to college soon. Later Harry would explain that this is when he lost his virginity, and he held me in a sort of reverence for that. We only saw each other following that in a local fandom convention setting, as we both worked the event but were not close. Vaguely, I remember that some nights when drinking, Harry would find me while we were out partying and try to be friendly, but I was in relationships at the time and I would always stop him before any boundaries came up. I also recognized that he was drunk in most of those instances, and just wrote it off as nothing.

Fast forward to 2022. Harry has moved states since then, dated plenty of people, met someone special and they're serious. Through other mutual friends, Harry and I have become close again and it feels like he's grown as a person a lot. We connect on a lot of things and become friends who can share conversation about both good times and bad. It's maybe important to note that I keep a very small circle, I have other struggles and mental health issues, so I don't have time or energy for more people- I don't even have the support of my family, we're not close. The people I talk to regularly are special to me and I put high stake in those relationships.

It's summer 2022 and Harry and I are at a weekend long event at the same time. Not together-- I knew he was there, he knew I was there, but we hadn't even run into each other yet. And then one evening we do meet amongst friends, and we talk for hours. The group eventually dispersed, and we're walking back towards Harry's room. The other friends in the group break and head off on their own business, leaving Harry and I. Harry has been beginning to open up about a hard topic- a story of their own sexual assault- so when we get to their room I think nothing of them wanting to continue the conversation in the privacy of their room. We go in, we get into some drinks since the topic is heavy, and I have my own heavy things to talk about. I'd recently been dumped from an 8-year long relationship where I'd been talked into polyamory. And that conversation, along with the one Harry shared about his experiences, brought us to sitting side by side on the bed, comforting each other.

Harry then told me he'd always felt strongly about me, and that he was exploring polyamory with his current partner. I was pretty drunk, I was promised the next actions were consensual and within the bounds of their relationship. Harry kissed me then, and his hands roamed under my clothes. I didn't mind it exactly, but it was sudden so I pulled away and asked what he intended, as I didn't have protection handy. It seemed to bring Harry to his senses, because he sat back and said he wasn't actually ready for this type of connection. He apologized, he asked if I was okay, he accompanied me to the party we were supposed to meet our friends at. When we arrived, he groped me once more as we entered the party and left me to go talk with other people. It felt like a whirlwind, and I had no idea what to make of what had happened there.

Fast forward to some loose talks between our next in person meeting and we haven't been as close texting or chatting online. I can tell it's different, and I know we're going to be running into each other again in person at a show so I take the time to clear the air almost a year later. I tell Harry that I respect him, but I didn't think that night was okay. I ask if Harry and his partner were still open or what became of that. Harry says they decided to not be in an open relationship, and that Harry loves his partner with all his heart. He told me he was working on being better for her, and that he struggled with his alcoholism. At the time I took all of this as positives, set a boundary that we were only friends, and supported him. We grew close again. A few months go, he proposes, she says yes. We're all so happy for them. I grow closer to Harry's circle of friends and we meet up for dinners and events when Harry and fiance are in town.

One night in Harry's discord group- this is where we all typically converse (Harry, friends, and myself. I think it's important to mention fiance is not in the discord, and isn't hearing a lot of what we talk about)- we were all playing a game as a group and drinking. Someone on the opposing team had a "funny" name along the lines of "prettypussy" or something like that. We started to have a chuckle at it, then Harry announced "OP (me) has a pretty pussy." and everyone went dead silent. One friend asked "did anyone hear that? did Harry say that? Is no one going to say anything?"

I had frozen up, and said nothing. I was shocked. After a few more minutes, the other girl in the chat left, and I did too. The next morning I woke up to a wordy apology from Harry. I felt he'd seen what he did wrong, so I accepted his apology and vented to a few friends not as close to him so I felt like I got the emotions out. I told Harry that I was giving him another chance as a my friend. (I found out recently that the girl who left the chat texted Harry and chewed him out for talking to me like that. Which prompted the apology.) Things went normal for a bit after that we are at another show with mutual friends and no incident. We talk more, we grow closer still, I'm invited to be a part of Harry's wedding as a groomsperson (Harry has people of varying gender in his groomsparty). His fiance is great for him, and they're a celebrated couple in our group. Really, this group of friends sort of has Harry as the hinge or focus. He is the one that brings most of these people together.

Fast forward to Harry's bachelor party, which is held in Mexico this past September. I am invited along with the rest of the groomsparty, and since I am not well off, Harry offers to help me afford the trip(-I think it's important to say he's helped me financially with other things, like rent and food. I felt heavily indebted to him.). Another girl (the one from discord) that is in the groomsparty is going, so I feel more assured I won't be out of place by joining them. Once we get there, I realize the sleeping arrangements are going to be a challenge. The other girl on the trip was already sharing a spot with someone else. Harry sort of confirms that everyone else has taken up the other spots, but there was room in the king bed he had all to himself. He asks if I will join him, and says he's also hoping I might cuddle with him at some point on the trip. At the time I am a little wary, and tell him I probably wouldn't make the best cuddle buddy and that hopefully we're having too much fun to worry about where we sleep. I also overhear another friend saying his sleeping arrangement would be cramped. The other friend, we'll call him Mac, is one of Harry's best friends, and someone I've had an interest in for awhile. Mac and I are close, we've slept in the same bed before and just cuddled. Harry and Mac have shared a bed before in their years of attending the same shows. In my mind it makes sense. I ask Mac to share the bed with us and we all agree to the arrangement.

The first night, after much drinking, I hit the hay first. Mac comes next, and we're in bed sleeping, and cuddled up. I'm woken up by Harry who gets in bed behind me and snuggles up way too close. I move around, like I'm not quite awake and want space, and Harry shoves his hand down my pants and grabs my buttcheek, squeezes it hard, then rolls over away from me. I was shocked, and just laid there. I didn't say anything to Mac or Harry in the morning, and hoped Harry forgot it even happened.

The second night, Harry did not sleep in the same bed, and told me on the third morning that he felt like a third wheel on his bachelor trip. I told him that was silly and we dropped the conversation. The rest of the trip I keep someone near me or between Harry and I at every turn. There's no further incident.

We come home and that instance is not brought up again. I tell myself I imagined it, he was too drunk, it's my fault for not just sleeping somewhere else uncomfortable.

In November, Harry and his fiance (who I'd grown closer to, and I think is a great person) are going to be in town for Harry's birthday. Everyone from the bachelor trip, some friends, and siblings from Harry and the fiance's family are going to meet up for dinner. Some of us met up before that for other festivities, and we grabbed drinks before the dinner. It's his birthday, and Harry was knocking back drinks, but seemed fairly lucid. I know he takes ADHD stimulants, and I know first hand that when you're drinking in conjunction with that medicine, the effects of alcohol don't feel as intense. This details feels important to me because of later details.

As we are getting ready to walk to the restaurant where the main affair is being held, Harry walks past me, behind the rest of the group, and grabs my butt under my skirt. He catches up with the group and starts a conversation. I was shaken, but as I have done in the past, I don't say anything. Right then and there, I decide I'll take it up after dinner, another day, because that was too much. During dinner, I begin to feel the triggers of that moment effecting me. I'm disassociated from the conversations over our food, I nearly spill a drink, I'm beginning to freak out. Mac was there, and planned to leave early, so I ask for a ride home. He says he can't and mentions in front of Harry that he'd be willing to help get me an uber. Harry says no trouble, he'll make sure I that I get home okay. Mac leaves, and the person I know best at this shindig now is Harry. I'm still trying to play off the touch from earlier, so I just follow the group to our last destination of the night for dessert before we disperse. As we're all going our separate ways, I'm offered a ride home from another friend. I go to hug Harry good night, trying to write off what I've experienced and keep myself together in my inebriated state. Harry gropes me again and I leave immediately following.

I took to isolation for a few days. I spoke to my sister, and a close friend who didn't know Harry. They empathized, and both said I had to at least tell the fiance. I told them that's I wanted, and I was scared. I told Mac, and he empathized, and agreed with what the other two said. They wanted me to bring the situation to full light and make Harry apologize to everyone who was present at the party. I couldn't bring myself to do that.

It felt like this meant losing Harry despite the hurt I'd already been through with him, and like I was losing that friend group because they're all so close to him. It hurt to think someone I trust would disrespect and objectify me like this in front of his closest people. I knew I didn't have the tools to fully address this but I tried anyways.

When I finally confronted Harry over text, he gave a long apology. He said he didn't want to lose my friendship, apologized for hurting me again, and said he'd already told his fiance. He said he didn't talk to me immediately because he wanted to give me space, and he hoped we could keep this between us so he could work on himself. I demanded to talk to him on the phone with his fiancé present so I could be sure he'd told her as I was having trouble trusting him. I don't know if his fiance saw that moment, I don't know if Harry felt bad and told her himself, but she already knew when he spoke to me. I was so scared, but I said I wanted to try and fix our friendship on that call, and assured them that I was also wanting to keep this private- it was agreed that neither of us would talk to outside parties further aside from like, therapy. The fiance chose to stay with Harry, and sounded oddly not as upset at the situation as I'd expected on the call. It was unsettling. Looking back I know now I was reacting with coping mechanisms.

I stopped joining the discord channel, stopped talking to everyone from that friend group except Mac. Mac has shouldered my feelings and position alongside me as best he could, and Harry is aware Mac knows what happened. Mac feels like Harry should apologize to him as well, and that will give Mac his place to talk to his friend about this. Meanwhile, I've been terrified to try talking to Harry or the fiance again.

A friend who is close with Mac and Harry realized they were not talking. They weren't aware of the situation and tried to mediate. When Mac wasn't forthcoming, they asked Harry (who they are closer to). Harry explained over a call that he had "accidentally gotten too drunk, and had felt up the wrong person at the end of a long night". His fiance and I look somewhat similar- long hair, white, thin build. But not enough for that accident, in my opinion, and he lied about it being only once. He

But now I know that he broke our promise of not talking about it, he made it out to be a pitiable and excusable act on his part, and I believe that's what he told his fiance and why she was able to (from where I'm sitting) accept the situation where it's at.

If you've read all of this... Thank you. I've been sitting with grief, anger, fear... I need advice on how to confront Harry further, how to talk to his fiance further, and how to move on from this. I don't know if I should forgive him and try to build a friendship of true accountability- I want to tell Harry how exactly he hurt me and potentially educate him on the true extent of his actions and how they've harmed myself and others. Or do I wash my hands of it. Or do I expose it to people and not let him hide his shame.

I will likely have to see Harry again at events this year, and most of the friends I have right now are people connected to Harry. Harry and fiance- last they heard- think I am coping on my own and have resources. They're both already in therapy. I don't have healthcare or a therapist. I am on a waiting list for therapy for SA victims. I did not speak to the police about this.

i'm not sure if this is the right place for this but i can't talk to anyone i know about it. i'll keep vague because my partner uses reddit but i found out recently that they are being assaulted regularly by their neighbour and there isn't anything i can do about it physically since we're long distance. i've given them resources to report the person and places to get an std test as well as a rape kit and possible pregnancy test done. the most recent time it happened was yesterday and i haven't been able to sleep because of how helpless i feel. it feels so selfish of me to be upset to the point of losing sleep and throwing up but i don't think ive ever felt this helpless before. i've been assaulted before and i know the kind of fear and helplessness my partner feels so i haven't shown that it's affected me as much as it has because they need me to be there for them. im sorry this is so rambly and probably isn't entirely coherent, i only slept for maybe an hour last night because of all of it and im sure i don't make a lot of sense. i guess i just want some advice on what else i can do to help them

I was raped two weeks ago and I’m currently experiencing my first menstruation since the incident. I’m very grateful for this period because my abuser didn’t use a condom. However, this period is painful. Probably the most painful I’ve ever felt in my life. My legs and pelvis hurt. I don’t know if it’s secondary to the trauma or if it’s more of my anxiety than anything. I tried googling it with not much results. I’m curious to know others experience. Is this normal? Did you feel something similar?

this happened exactly a year and three days ago and i think about it every single day and feel disgusting. i don’t know if what happened to me was rape or not, and i just want to put a label on it so i can get over it if it was nothing.

i (16F) had been talking to this guy (19M) on snapchat for a couple months who was away at college but i thought he was really cute and we planned to hang out when he came back. i sent him some of my nudes too a few months before we met.

we ended up meeting over that winter break for a couple hours in my car with one of his other friends and one of mine. the whole time we were in the car, he kept putting his hand in my inner thighs and at one point was literally fingering me over my clothes but i was okay with it because i was trying to get over my ex and ive been so lonely and touch starved and was missing having sex.

i was gonna have a sleepover with my friend so the guys left at like 2am and right before my guy got in his friends car he kissed me and was like grabbing my ass and asking when we could hang again and i was happy about it at first cuz like i said i missed sex.

anyway, i was in my friends apartment after they left and she was taking a shower when he texted me back and asked if he could come pick me up again and hook up and he was asking what i was into and stuff and the only thing i said was “handcuffs” anyway guess he took that as “woooo lemme fuck this girl so hard she’s crying” also i thought i was gonna stay in for the night and not have to drive so i got super fucking high before he texted me.

so he came to pick me up and i told my friend where i was going and then i snuck out her window and we went to some dark parking lot. the purpose of this hang out tho was specifically for us to fuck cuz i was high and horny and lonely. we talked for a while and then he kept trying to make me get on top of him which i really didn’t wanna do so i suggested we get in the back and then he was on top and we started kissing and it was good at first.

he actually started fucking me without asking or anything and without a condom but i took my pants off so it was fair. it was fine for the first few minutes but then he really started hurting me because he was strong and really rough with me and i started crying but i was hiding it at first and i didn’t try to fight him off because he would be mad that he picked me up just for me to make him stop. and then he started like really really hurting me like SUPER rough and smacking my ass but i still didn’t tell him to stop. eventually i started really crying loud and he just kept telling me “it’s okay baby” and putting his hand over my mouth and then he made me give him head but he kept pushing my head down so hard i was gagging and couldn’t breathe.

i mean maybe id be okay with that stuff if we had discussed it beforehand but we did not. after a while he noticed i was really crying hard and asked if i was okay and i said yes so that was my fault that he kept going and i can never stop thinking about it because i told him i was okay.

anyway then he tried to make me get on top again and i said okay because i just wanted him to finish. then he asked me to hand him his phone to take a video and i said no but im not sure if he still took it anyway when i was face down. he got me on my stomach and it HURT so bad and then i really started scream crying. then he tried to put a finger in my ass and i had to scream “no” at him before he took it out but he kept going normally but i don’t know if that was my fault because i didn’t tell him to fully stop, i just said no.

he kept going and i kept crying and saying “i wanna go home” and he ignored me for a while until he looked at the clock and it was 3:30am so he just pulled out and got dressed and left me back there. thank god he didn’t finish in me but also like was i not good enough? what was wrong with me?

it’s been a year and i still almost fully believe this is my fault. can someone just tell me if it 100% is or isn’t??? thank you.

I got raped around this time last year, and I hated it. It was the single most painful experience of my life. I didnt even comprehend how bad it was at the time because I was too scared to even think. The thing that makes me feel gross is that I had an orgasm. Does that make it not rape? Idk. It even pops into my head during masturbation for some reason, which makes me feel disgusting. Am I rlly weird for this?

so I've been having a rape kink for like 2 years and half, and I want to stop it because really I'm so disgusted by that but I don't know how to do. I don't know hot it started, I just can't find anything but rape kinks videos exciting. also I was sa'd when I was younger so I don't know if it has something to do with it because I started having this kink when I still was in denial and had no idea I had been sa'd.

so please give me advice because I feel so disgusted.

A couple days ago I broke up with my boyfriend. I had realized that I don’t want to be in a relationship because of my mental health and how it didn’t feel like anything was moving or continuing. So when I broke up with him I still wanted to keep in contact because I love him and I still wanna talk to him. So after a day I started adding random people on Snapchat because I felt lonely and even more lonely as time went on. Then I started snap this guy.(let’s call him G). So I was snapping G! He was super sweet and didn’t live to far from me maybe 30min! We’ve been snapping for 4 days now I think. He keeps saying how he really wants to meet me and I’m just kinda pushing things back and saying lol. So it’s New Year’s Eve. I go to the gym and hit cardio and while I’m there I’m still snapping G. He then says he wishes I was his new years kiss. (Keep that in mind) I go along with it and say omg same. The next day he keeps saying “I wanna see you so bad omg” and I’m like sure whatever. I clean and pick up because I’m currently at my sisters place because she’s out of town! That day I go to see my mom because I wasn’t feeling good the day before on New Year’s Eve. I was going to but I changed my mind which meant I had to go the next day. So now that it’s New Year’s Day I’m like hm maybe I should hangout with him he’s super nice and hadn’t said any sexual stuff just casual flirting. I’m like yo wanna hang out I know you have a friend so it won’t be as awkward. Three people just eating food then going home. That was my plan. So he’s like sure where do you wanna go I’m like idk anything sounds good fr! He said what about Buffalo Wild Wings?? I was like I’ve never been but I like wings so sure!! So while I’m at my moms I drive back to my sisters house because I thought it was closer (it was not I wasted a tun of gas!) I call my mom and say “hey I left some stuff at the house I’m gonna come back” she didn’t sound suspicious at all. (I’m 18 so she’s released a little bit of the rope she has around my waste). I drive back to my house and grab the stuff I forget and say goodbye to my family. I then text him and ask how far G is and he says 15min. My heart starts raising and I start feeling really bad. I start thinking maybe this ain’t a good idea? But I still go because this guy drove 30min just to come hangout with his buddy. So I start leaving my house to go to BWW(buffalo wild wings) because he’s almost there. When I get there I remember telling him to park close because I get awkward just meeting people in fast food places. So I’m sitting in my car waiting on him and his friend to pull him. I then see the black car pull in 1 spot apart from me and I’m like oh crap it’s him. I sit there for about 2min and finally get out of the car. When I do it’s only him not his friend he said he was bringing. I’m like oh no I don’t really like this he lied once now even if it is a little white lie. So when I come out the car to go on the passenger side he gets out and gives me a hug. I’m like no consent just hugs me I go along with it. So after the hug we start walking up to BWW. I then remember I left my wallet in my car so I go to grab it and let him know because I don’t want him thinking I’m leaving. I come back snd he opens the door and we go in. As soon we walk in theres a sticky note on an iPad saying seat yourself or something and we go do that. So then we sit and I just start feeling like something’s wrong. I just ignore my gut again. We just talk about our life’s from then on and it just starts feeling worse. He then brings up that he smokes nic and I told him I haven’t done that in a long time.(keep that in mind) as the night goes on he gets a call from his mom I didn’t know who it was I just assumed it was a friend. G said his mom wanted him home by 11 then she changed it to 10:30. I checked the time and it was 10:19pm. He lives 30min away. I’m like we gotta wrap this up so he doesn’t get locked out. He then looks at me and say “can I ask you a favor” I’m just like “what’s up” he goes ”could you pay for the bill”. I just look at him for a sec and think you came all this way and didn’t bring money for your 15 dollar meal??? I got 6 wings and fries mine was 11 dollars!! I checked my account and I remember I only had 23 dollars becusse I was only planning on paying for me. The bill was 27 dollars. I’m just like I’m gonna be real I only got 23 dollars. He pulls out a 10 and say that’ll cover the rest. So I tell the waitress we’re paying half and half and she’s like okay cool and I go over to the station and he pays his 10 and I pay what I have left and tip the waitress because it’s rude not too! After this we leave and go outside. We’re then standing there and he opens his door to grab his nic and says wanna a hit. I say idk. (Keep in mind that during this whole interaction up until a point I’m saying I don’t know or something random like chicken butt). He gives it to me and I do a little because I don’t smoke anything I used to but I don’t right now. So I hit the nic and soon after it makes me feel really dizzy and I just got raising thoughts. I couldn’t really move but I felt I could talk. He then says “so do you want something I feel like you do” I then say “I don’t know”. Before I continue what I’m about to say let me give you a visual. This guy is 5’10 I’m 5’7 1/2. He’s smaller than me but definitely stronger. I know everyone knows what a nuggy is what you used to do to your siblings or your other family members used to do to you. So what he does next his wraps his arm around my head and pulls me to his kneck area to give me whatever hug that is. I can’t get out of it. it feels like a chock hold. He then says “remember when you said you wanted to be my new years kiss” I said “oh yeah I kinda forgot about that” he then says “wanna do that rn” I say “I don’t know” then he says “want some help” (still in the chock hold). I say again “I don’t know”. While in the chock hold position he then kiss me. I can’t move I can’t push away so I just use my imagination and try to think of anything else but this right now. I still feel woozy because of the nic or whatever else he had in it. He then says “wanna make out in my car” I say “I don’t know”. I’m saying I don’t know because im scared. I told him I was scared while in BWW and he said there’s nothing to be scared of. I then get in his car because I was just following what he asked but never said yes. Once we get in the car he locks the doors. Once he does that I freeze. I start dissociating and just don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m in danger but don’t know how to get out. My hearts pounding out of my chest and I can’t find my thoughts. He then once again puts me in the nuggy chock hold and starts making out with me. I can’t get out of it I can’t move I don’t know what to do. So I just pretend it’s the guy I love my ex. The whole time I just pretend it’s him so I don’t freak out and this guy kills me or rpes me. I can’t get out because the doors are locked and he just has me. I think break free of him and I just sit there. I’m sitting in silence and then I start humming because humming is my comfort it’s what calms me down. That’s all I felt I could do. I then start talking because I don’t him to grab me again. He the. Puts his hand in my hair and starts rubbing my head. I freeze and he asked if I like it. I said it feels nice but I don’t know. He then gets mad and says “all you say is I don’t know can I get a yes I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of you because I’m not” I then force a yes because I can see him physically start getting mad. I group up in a house or abuse so I know the look. He then calms down after I say yes. After he then does the nuggy chokehold and starts making out with me. He then pulls away and says “hi” I say “uhhh” he then pulls me back in and start making out again. Now since he’s closer to me I know he can feel my heart pounding out of my chest. He then pushes me away and says “why is your heart beating so fast” I freeze again and say I just have really bad anxiety I feel really scared right now” he then says “why are you scared do you think I’m gonna do something to you or something” I freak out and spit out a fast “no not at all it’s just my anxiety” his posture then calms after I assure what isn’t true. I don’t understand how you can’t see that I’m uncomfortable, scared, don’t want to be there, terrified, want to go home. It was written all over my face and it was like all he seen was she wants more. I then say “my heart is beating so fast”. He then puts his hand on my left breast and feels my heart and says “yeah it is beating fast”. After that he starts rubbing the back of my head again and I know that that means he wants head. I finally got him to not do it by moving his hand. He then says “what do you not like that” Im screaming in my head «NO I DONT». But I just say “no you’re just messing up my hair”. He then grabs my head again like before and lays my head on his shoulder. I can’t move once again. He then pushes my head towards his face and starts making out with me again. I can’t move I can’t get out of this it’s just me in this parking lot with a random guy forcing me to make out with him while his arm is around the back of my head and neck. When I finally break free I ask if we can play we listen and we don’t judge. He says yeah and we’re just confessing random stuff but he’s just telling me sexual things. He even said “ I really wanna have sx with you rn” I just move on to the next subject. He would talk for 15min and then I’d talk for maybe 5. He would say “I’m so outta breath I need to catch my breath” and would grab the back of my head and start kissing me again but with so much strength that I couldn’t get out of it. Going back to when we got in the car G took my glasses away and put them on his side do the car. I didn’t think anything of it until now. I said “I gotta go home it’s super late it’s 12am” he said “but don’t you need your glasses” I was like oh yeah. I went to grab them and then he trapped me again and started kissing me. I just wanted to go home I wanted to leave. I remember there being a red truck not to far and he had looked at the car and I just covered my face because I. Just terrified of what might happen. He then says “the guys gone you can come out” I feel relieved because I did do the right thing. I then say “I’m serious I gotta go” he then picks up my glasses makes me reach for them and traps me in the chokehold again. I’m just thinking am I ever gonna get out. I then pull away and he gets upset and says “I knew you didn’t like me I could tell you don’t have to say anything” I feel really bad and I say “when did I say that I never did your acting crazy” because he slammed on his steering wheel and grabbed my hand and made me hit him. I then start small talk to make him forget about my glasses so I can get them. When I grab them I put them on my face and say “I gotta go home now it’s 12:30am” he then says “you don’t wanna be here” I say, “I didn’t say I didn’t wanna be here it’s just super late and I have really bad vision at night” he then grabs me again and starts making out with me. I push away and get the strength and he pulls me back to his lips I push again and he says “why do you want to leave me” I say “I told you I need to go because everything’s double at night” he then gets sad and says “fine whatever”. I get out and I feel relieved. He then says “let me walk you to your car” I’m just like “whatever flouts your boat”. So he walks me to my side of the car with his phone snd his like remember I turned my phone off my moms probably mad.(I forgot to add this in but when we were talking in BWW he said that he lied and that he was 20 and not 19) which isn’t bad but he’s still with his mom and he has a time rhat he needs to be home. I then say “why do you do the triangle choke sht, do you like it or something” and I do it to him but not as aggressive and he says “yeah it’s actually super hot”. He then says, “would you like it better if it were like this”. Puts his arms on my shoulders and around my neck and pushes up against me. I then can feel his dck. He’s pushing up harder and closer and won’t let me move. He then kisses me and tries to make out with me as I’m pinned up against my car. I then back my head up and say, “I need to go”. He says “alright fine” I say goodbye and as soon as I get into my car I lock the doors. I then put my sisters location in on my phone and leave as fast as possible so he doesn’t follow me home. I never said no but I also never said yes. Was this SA?

i've done some research on repressed memories and have tried as hard as i can too remember but i can't, for some back story when i think about this i think about a very specific point in my life when i was around 4-6 i started masterbating when i was very young, when i say young i remember doing it by the time i was around 4-5? i knew it was a secret thing too do in private and around that time i also would pee the bed even tho i was fully potty trained, i would get night terrors about tickling, it sounds stupid but i would get those dreams every night of people rather if it was in my family or friends parents or people i've never seen before it was always that dream, i remember it hurt a lot i remember i couldn't breathe when i tried too stop them in these dreams and i remember this specific dream i had around the age of 5? 6? where i came out into the living room and there was a man on the couch (i can't remember what he looks like) and he told me too sit down next too him and i did he proceeded too sa me in this dream, after all the tickling dreams my 5 year old brain somehow came up with the fact maybe it has too do with me touching myself so i stopped i wouldn't do it anymore and i felt shame a lot of shame for even doing it in the first place, but those dreams did stop after i stopped, i also remember getting a uti around that point of my life, i did get a cocsa when i was around 8 but that was a different point in my life? idk maybe it's just my anxiety but it bothers me every night and all my friends don't get it and they think that i just wanted something bad too say that happened too me but i dont i genuinely just want too remember.

One day my back hurt so I told my father to give me back massages he started dry humping my ass we had clothes to the days I told him about it and he said he would never do something like that i want to believe that he didn't do it but the other side I think he did, I felt him rubbing his penis hard on my ass. I really love him, he is a good father, he helps me, we have deep conversations, he supports me in everything, I really love my father. It's just this I don't know what to do please help me even I have nightmare with this

I just want to get it off my my chest...

I (f16) got raped by my Stepdad and this is how it happens... I live with my mom and her new boyfriend, and 2 months ago, she had to leave town because of her job. One weekend my Stepdad and I talked where sitting together by the firepit and had a little chat where I mention my sexual preferences ( I told him I like guys) and how I feel about it I always felt safe around him so was really open to him... I told him what I like and that I was dating someone right now.

He had some beer while we where talking and he was really interested in my private life. I didn't bother and told him many details... Like how I met that guy, his age, how the sex was, my fist time and all this stuff.

At some point I told him that I was planning to met with my guy tonight befor he canceled our date. I told him I was kinda frustrated because I was really looking forward to.

At some point he was really suspicious and wanted details of the sex we had, and what I like and stuff like this. I thought that he may crossing some lines with his questions and told him that I got tired and that I will go to sleep now.

I got up and went to my room, I layed down in my bed and nearly was asleep, when I heard my door open up slowly.

First I didn't bother but than I realized him standing in my room. He then came to my bed and first he just sad down on the edge and did nothing. I was afraid to say something, but than he began to apologize to me and that I didn't leave him a choice.

I tried to get a way from him but he suddenly grabbed my arm, and said that I don't have to be afraid... He pulled my closer to him, took my second arm and began to touching me. First he groped my tits while he was holding both of my arms in his hand. Slowly his Handy went down my body into my pants. I immediately realized what happend and told him to stop please but he didn't care and said, that I need to shut up or else it wouldn't end well. After that he proceed to groping my body and slowly pushing his hand into my pants. I could feel how he was reaching my vagina and how his fingers played with it. I begged him stop and to leave my alone but he refused. He than tied my hands together, put some and began to undress me, and put my pants in my mouth so I couldn't scream. In terror I could feel how he slowly forced his fingers into me... After a while he stood up, took of his pants and forced me to open my mouth so he can pleasure himself in my mouth.

After what seems like a eternity for me, he stopped, pushed me down into my bed, while telling me I should stop crying and begging and instead I should enjoing it. He than proceed to to forcing himself into me. After a while he pulled my head back and told me that it shouldn't lie, and that he knows I like it, befor he finished in me.

After he was gone I went into the shower crying and didn't know what I should do. But mostly I cried because he made me cum while raping me. The next morning, he catched me in the kitchen, pushed me against the fridge, and told me that it would be easier for me if I just let it happens befor raping me a second time.

It's now 2 months ago, and since then I live with my boyfriend and never told someone not even my mom yet.

I somehow don't know how to feel about it, because of the fact that I came both times.

I need a first say that I found out a few weeks ago. My husband cheated on me. He’s gone for New Year’s so I went on a site and the guy posted an ad about total anonymous I just leave my door unlocked bend over the bed and let him have his way. I waited for him but didn’t expect anybody but him, he brought two of his friends and they raped me and I feel like it’s my fault and I can’t even tell my husband.

I’m 17 F and I was raped when I was a child by my mother ‘s husband. I told my mother about it and she didn’t believe me and since I’m a minor, I haven’t moved out yet and she got me a hoodie for Christmas that says “Beautifully Broken 💔”. I don’t know what message she’s trying to send to me. I just wanted to tell someone about it. Cause idk what to do about it.