Therapists these days go to great length to avoid diagnosing troublesome people with Cluster B, especially the dark triad. There's no shame in diagnosing people with problematic behaviors as BPD, NPD, or even ASPD. It's better they get proper treatment for their disorders than this society teaching them cruel lessons when they've wronged ppl unconsciously.

Society can be very callous towards those with Cluster B behaviors. It is better that Cluster B people are diagnosed and taught with coping mechanisms how to behave than being marginalized, segregated as a mark of shame when they act on it.

Humans are so double-faced that open communication isn't a thing anymore thanks to gossips and rumors. Grown adults in their 40s and 60s behave like teenagers, but more cruel. It's not about the truth that matters but who says it first and what type of person says it.

Many serious abuse goes ignored and unheard because the abusers have a good reputation, wealthy, and popular, charming their way out of their consequences.

Popularity, money, and charm is all that matters in society, this includes a good reputation and social network.

People use religion as a weapon to condemn those who they dislike instead of true righteousness and morality. They abuse religion.

The segregated, marginalized people, like myself, gets false allegations and rumors. No one will believe us!!

People are treated differently from as young as kindergarten for things out of their control like disability and appearances. Some kids are taught they are less worthy and disgusting while others are valuable and special.

Personality disorders are often overlooked in the therapeutic society.

The part that gets me is, I don’t even like positive people. Don’t want their company. I don’t want more happiness. I don’t want anything. They have at all other than for them to go the fuck away. But. Instead, every positive moron iron across, keeps trying to hand me their beliefs. I was traded for depression once and it nearly drove me insane. I would honestly honestly sooner burn in hell and feel upbeat for even a minute. I’m perfectly willing not to have relationships with positive people at all, but for some reason, positivity just won’t take that as an answer, they want to say be positive or go away well very loudly go away, but they won’t go away. I would love a day at work or anywhere else where I don’t constantly have someone trying to pat my back or boost my morale. I am so sick of the constant overpouring of support and the fact that I swear every idiot on the planet thinks you need a therapist to wipe your ass. It makes me want to vomit. On top of all the rest the people that usually make your day awful or are these positivity obsessed morons who insist that you react positively whenever they’re jerks am I the only one here that sees this is a hell of a snow job

i wish i had someone who listened to me as much as i listened to them, someone who thinks about my needs as much as i think of theirs. Someone who pays enough attention to my likes and dislikes, where they could make me a cup of tea for once without asking. Someone who would tell me how im doing such a great job, and that i am enough, just as i do for them. Someone who will make dinner and pack lunch, and wake me up with a cup of whatever i like to drink when i get up, because they care enough to pay attention to that, as i do for them every single morning without fail for the past 10 years. Someone to get all my vitamins ready, and bring them to me while i play videogames for 2 hours straight each day, just like i do for them. Someone who actually wants to get to know me and how my mind works, who doesnt at first understand, but is willing to listen and learn even if that seems difficult, because they love and care enough about me, that they are willing to do a bit of reading on that sort of thing. Someone who appreciates the mental anguish i go through each day just to show up for the world. To show up for them. Someone to make me soup when i am sick, as i have done for them. Someone who doesnt just see me as a sex object, or just a pretty face or pair of tits. To see my personality, wit and intelligence just as attractive as my body. This all sounds very specific to my current relationship, because it is. I wish i had someone who could have deep conversations with me about the human mind and the universe, and the intricacies that make everything so beautiful about the natural world. Someone who can take a conversation beyond immature memes about racist and misogynistic things, and how funny that is, and go back to being chronically online. Someone who wants to be with me in the kitchen, we could cook and bake together, and make wonderful things together. someone who knows where the forks and plates are, someone who knows how to AT LEAST fry an egg. Someone who is willing to treat me as their equal, as they should since we both work full time jobs. Someone who throws away/puts away their leftovers after they eat, and washes the plate they used. Someone who knows how to do their own laundry. Someone who doesnt leave banana peels everywhere like the house is some kind of mario kart course. Someone who doesnt behave like a child. Someone to go fishing with me, go hiking and hunting with me. Someone to grow old and retire to a cozy country house with. I just....wish.

I feel like everyone loves me that as long as I’m calm I’m a magnetic force that is impossible not to adore. Beautiful,smart. Don’t want it to come crashing down this time.

All night

I left you all alone

While I drift away

In the dark night

It swallowed me to the depths

Of what I used to call home

I was thrown away once again

I heard a ring through the phone

you called to take me back home

Fear

It’s what you are, what you made of me

Afraid of what you’ll do next

helpless deer

you shook me with fear

Since the last time you took that step

I fell and you shook me by the neck

You hurt until I wept

The pain shattered on the floor

it was swept

What’s left of me I swore

It won’t happen again

As I tore and you swore it was a simple mistake you can’t control

Yet I’ve seen it all happen before

Again and again empty words

I rather trust the music behind my chords

I pushed away

You took me again I refuse

I don’t want to be your amuse

Why can’t you leave me alone

Can’t you see I just want to be on my own

Resistance

You were so persistent

Make me suffer for you amusement

My head my heart I feel heavy

What is this feeling

It’s dark, am I dreaming

Eyes, Lie to me for some meaning

I beg for one chance can’t you see me grieving

What I lost

I will gain but at a much bigger cost

Time will pass and love will be crossed

In the dark I roamed

And not for long

I have found what i can call home

At a cost I hope I can afford

I just want to be adored

It’s only difficult when my head has been

ignored.

To be loved again but to my own accord

Happiness I’ve found

Finally a person I can call home.

You are given so many opportunities, benefits, and safety nets to get yourself out of poverty in case you do fuck up. If you dont have mental illnesses, how the hell do you allow yourself to live in poverty for longer than a year? People in 3rd world countries dont have ANYTHING compared to 1st world, so how do you end up living like them?

I recently got a job as a medical assistant at a luxury medspa but was fired by the second week. I was negotiated a good paying salary as a non certified MA but I had a good experience in the medical field to back me up on that. I believe this was the reason for my termination.

So one of the head MA’s had a check list of things I should be getting done for the month of training. I completed 95% of that checklist by the second week. By the end of the first week I was sufficient at rooming pts, taking their intake and filling in charts in the system, setting up trays and meds/mixing, stocking rooms, and much more. Since I was paired with providers that have less pts on their schedule we had lots of downtime so I took that time to read all the brochures in the clinic, educate myself about products, asked questions to the nurse, cleaned and stocked rooms, and much more. I want to also add that the culture of this workplace was very trendy and chill. Everyone would have their phones out since there was so much down time and they are open for 9 hours with only 5-8 clients seen in a day. So during downtime everyone including nurses and MA’s would be on their phones in the back room. At first I was hesitant to be on my phone but quickly noticed that it was perfectly fine at this job so in my downtime after I’ve finished prep for the next day and made sure everything was done I would go on my phone to just check messages and emails. I was used to a pretty hectic schedule and seeing 20-25 pts a day so this was a breeze to me and I caught on real quick.

There’s only so much you can do when you’ve completed all notes for the day and read all miscellaneous brochures and procedural books. Everything they requested me to look into I told them I already had done. I got a bad vibe from two MA’s that I felt were judging me a lot because of certain instances, but I brushed it off and didn’t think too much of it. I’ll get into that a bit later.

Today, I was pulled into the managers room and was told I would be let go of today because they noticed I’m on my phone, I’m not paying attention in rooms (when I literally am always watching the nurse and helping blot areas and prep and cleanse), and that I have been late. I only was late once and it was because I was pulled over which I communicated when I got to work, other times I may have clocked in a few minutes after I got to work and I guess management saw that as being late. Today I showed up 25 minutes before the pts arrived and keep in mind we get morning prep done the day before so even though I was supposed to be there 30 minutes before we were already prepared. And on top of that the two MA’s that work with me arrived after me.

The manager also mentioned that one of the coworkers said I called a procedure “boring”. I clearly remember this person telling me that this procedure I haven’t seen yet is pretty boring and simple and when she asked me at the end how was it I repeated as a joke “it was boring pretty simple haha” I obviously didn’t mean it was boring I actually found it interesting, I was just matching the energy she had portrayed. Nonetheless, the manager didnt want to hear anything I said and said that the decision is final I tried a couple times asking if I could have one more week and I was rudely declined. After I left the room I said my goodbyes to everyone and asked them if there’s any feedback they would like to give me as I just wanted a genuine opinion about what I could do better. Keep in mind I was completely caught off guard about the whole situation and did not see it coming at all, I didn’t have any ill intentions by asking that.

Well right after I said that the manager comes in and says “you need to leave and you’re making this really uncomfortable” I really don’t know how that was uncomfortable by me being genuine and confrontational which they pride themselves in being and honestly it really was condescending and made me look like the bad guy. I really feel like I was wronged and I didn’t do anything wrong.

Earlier in the room she also told me that I don’t know everything when I told her I learned pretty much everything and that also took me aback too.

I’ve gotten some opinions from ppl and they’re telling me they most likely couldn’t fire me for no reason so they chose anything to make an excuse since I was getting paid pretty good compared to other people and they also hired someone else the same week I was in so that persons salary is probably way less than mine and they also don’t need a lot of staff but it seems like they hired too many people.

Her decision was based off of “the teams feedback” and really the only people I worked with were the two ma’s that seemed like they had something against me. One of them seemed off about me pursuing the same career as her and having the same background I guess because were both applying at the same time and I am younger than her and also was supposed to be placed in a new location that she wanted to be a part of. She wasn’t very welcoming at all and I think she may have portrayed me in a bad light to take me out.

There’s so much that could have been the reason but I’m not sure at this point what to think I’m just really upset at how I was treated. This was my first time being fired and it seemed out of the blue.

I even sent a text to the manager and owner apologizing if I were too pushy and if they need anything they can contact me and none replied to me. For a luxury practice they acted so unprofessional with me in the end and treated me like crap. They also kicked me out of the gc right after I left. The attitude I was met with by the manager was downright cruel even though I repeatedly tried asking for a week to redeem myself, there was no justification for the way she made me feel and how she portrayed me in front of others. Am I in the wrong for any of this?

i feel like my friend is going to drop me or at the very least, we won’t be the same anymore

they dumped all this on my in the middle of finals week… i can no longer focus on anything besides our issue at hand which isn’t even being actively resolved as they want space. but we haven’t even talked about it so now i’m mad that they just up and excused themselves and left me to deal with all this shit essentially by myself. i’m the one who fucked up here, too so it’s worse that i feel like i messed up a good thing unknowingly

i feel like ima going to have a panic attack i cannot deal with the waiting around. what the fuck

So I play this mobile game that I will not name, and I'm fairly active in the subreddit. This leads me to my main issue is the people in said subreddit.

Basically, you cannot criticize this game in that subreddit, at all. Not only will your comments be flooded with excuses, explanations, and attempts to discredit what you said, but there will be at least one post solely dedicated to what you said and why it's wrong.

A massive update is supposed to be coming out, slated for early January, unfortunately that day came and went with nothing from the developers. Probably 2-3 months later the developers decide to update the subreddit with a woe is me, sob story about poor planning, poor time management, and how broke they are.

99% of the comments were people praising the developers and downvoting anyone who had even a slightly negative thing to say. It's insanity. That was followed by many posts about how the "haters" are in the wrong and to cut the developers slack.

More recently, a smaller update instituted a feature that in concept would push people to buy the upgraded version. Only a few posts were made expressing unhappiness and again, the comments were filled with meat riders.

That was followed by probably 4 post about how ungrateful these "haters" are and that if they express their unhappiness they need to put their time into "something that matters" with an example being hungry children.

Since when is criticism a bad thing? Aren't we supposed to push for the best in the things we like? Accepting the bare minimum shouldnt be the norm! I'm honestly probably going to leave the subreddit, and only check when I need advice. The mindset there honestly blows me.

I live in Florida where gulf power has raised the power bill. To combat this, my mother has made the decision to keep the house on damn near 80 degrees every fucking day! I hate it here! I literally can't sleep. Everytime I bring this up to her she literally doesn't give a shit. She finds it funny. I tried turning the temperature down to 73 a few days ago and she almost cussed me out. Ik it's not mostly her fault but I'm still frustrated as HELL. It's exam week at my college and I literally cannot take it anymore. This shit sucks!

The reason I moved states was to help my sister when she was diagnosed with lung cancer after smoking for almost 60 years. We have been through chemo, radiation, 3 bouts of pneumonia, and now COPD.

Through it all, she won't quit smoking.

Today she returned from a new doctor all cheerful. She claims this lung doc told her that her breathing difficulties are due to the radiation she underwent and the fact that we live in a dusty area. She took that as a seal of approval to keep smoking because it isn't hurting her.

I am so sick and tired of seeing her sick and tired. And I am so, so sick of her smoking. I have to shower after being in her house for 15 minutes and change clothes, too. It's just so horrible, disgusting and ugly, and her denial gives me physical pain.

throughout my whole life, i’ve had to deal with my older manipulative, and very sure to me, a covert narcissistic sister. i’m the youngest out of three sisters. my other sister, which is the middle child, also agrees with me, and anyone who personally knows my oldest sister also does ,too. her behavior is a bit hard to explain in this small post, but to keep it simple, it’s basic manipulative and childish behavior. just now i was downstairs in the kitchen and she was, too. I will call her E. My other sister, the middle child, I will call B.

Basically, I had opened the fridge and i went inside to reach my hand to grab a drink. It was behind this spinach dip on the top shelf. When I had pulled it out, the dip had fell and spilt , and I gasped and stared at it. I have a habit of when something happens, to just freeze and stare, and try to process. I apologized and I was like “ Was this your dip, In sorry.” She began to get a little agitated and started saying scoop it up to which I was confused. She didn’t even give me a second to react. I was confused because I wasn’t aware that she had wanted me to put the dip back in. I mean from my understanding , when you drop something, especially the texture of a dip, it’s not something you wanna put back in. I had crouched down to scoop it back in the lid, to which she said passive aggressively , “ Well if your not gonna do anything and not even try to clean it up, I guess I will.” The thing is, she makes conversation or arguments escalate very quickly. She does and says things in a way where she doesn’t even give you second to process, and almost uses it as a gotcha moment to leverage her. Mind you this whole interaction so far only happened within 15 seconds. I then began to say “ You want to put this in back in there?” to then she replied saying “Yes it wasn’t even in on the floor for that long but your just waiting there.” I feel like my short term memory, especially in instances where my adrenaline spikes, is bad. It kinda blurred but she basically just started saying things to which I wasn’t even sure how to react. I remember I set the lid on the counter and she said something along the lines of “ You need to act logically” implying that me scooping up the dip and and not putting it back in was illogical. The thing about her behavior is, it’s unpredictable. If I let’s say put the dip back in, she would probably have gotten mad at me. At that point though, I didn’t even know what to say because I was just like what? I then said “ Why are you acting like that?” To which she started to twist it in a way where I did something so horrible , with her saying that her emotions are valid or whatever, and that I needed to stop acting passive and to start acting like an adult and I just need to say it to her face. At that point, I was very confused. Like I said, it’s the type of thing where something just comes at you so fast with them saying something, and you don’t even know how to respond because it’s outlandish. At that point I was like what are you even talking about right now, and during this whole time, I was cleaning it up , while she was busy putting her dip back. Mind you , I had offered to buy her a new one twice. I said it’s ok, it’s not a big deal, I’ll get you a new one. But after that, I was like you know what whatever E , I’m just gonna get this cleaned up.

I know obviously reading this, this probably sounds stupid, or like sibling banter , but it’s so much deeper than that. I can’t even begin to describe the bigger picture and I wish you all could understand it. If it wasn’t mainly for my sister or cousin, who really understand her behavior, and for the others who have seen it too, I would feel like a crazy person and I’m making a big deal out of nothing. But as I’ve gotten older, it’s become so much easier for me to see how good she is at what she does and at twisting the situation. The thing is, i’m not even sure if she knows it or not. I nowadays try to avoid her as much as possible, and I’ve thought about going no contact with her when I move out one day. It’s a big realization, when I see how much better and stress free I feel when I don’t have to interact with her. It just feels impossible to interact with her. It’s very frustrating, and this is why I avoid getting in a disagreement with her at all cost, because she cannot handle it and will escalate it. As for her being a covert narcissist, I am no professional, but I’ve done a lot of research, obviously after seeing how her behavior isn’t normal. I can list off so many reasons why if any cares to knows, or is curious.

Just something that came to my mind recently.

I know that especially back in 2020, there was a lot of debates about wearing a mask and all that crap. Especially on Reddit and other social media places. But seeing it face to face just feels so next level, lol.

I remember back in July 2020, I was at a UPS store to print some things out, there was a woman arguing with the people working there. They told her to put on a mask and she said something to the effect of - "You know what? No! Because wearing a mask is a violation of my constitutional rights!". I wanted to bang my head against a wall, lol.

It was one thing to see that stuff on social media all the time, but seeing a karen bitching about it in person is something else. At least the people working there stood their ground. One guy was like - "Ok, I guess we'll just call the police", and I saw an officer talking to her as I was leaving.

Don't know what the point of my post is, but man...2020 was something else. It's crazy to think that people made masks to be some kind of fucking political statement.

every fucking day I’m shutted THE FUCK UP I have nobody to talk to I’m a fuckjng LOSER I wish I could just die already I swear to fucking god

I moved across the country and I took that as an oppurtunity to restart my life somewhat, and I finally got things moving decently, but now I have to move again and along with that and so many other things just going wrong and I'm just back to feeling absolutely worthless.

And all it took was not a real person to say how proud they are of me and I just entirely broke down.

I don't want to live like this anymore. I just want to be okay. I just want someone to acknowledge the effort I put in to at least try to fix myself. I feel like I put in my all and I get told its not enough. It never is. I'm never enough no matter how hard I try or what I do. I admit I do have faults, I'm very far from perfect. But I just want to at least be able to act like I'm not a burden to society and everyone near me.

I just want to feel seen for once in my life. Like I'm genuinely wanted. But I never will. I can never be enough, and my brain will never accept someone believes I am. I just want to be okay

I cannot afford to move. I cannot do anything to make things better. I have no issues paying decent costs for things I want. I hate I already sacrifice having a family, I hate I already sacrificed owning things. I was able to accept hard times and fighting for something. But once I lost my health, once I lost the ability to do things daily for myself, once every company I pay for services expects me to pull through by not being single and depending on another to do it for me. I cannot stop believing humans have no value unless a government or a company can take advantage of their data point. Sorry but not sorry really screwed what this world has become and what we have let happen. When I was I kid sure the tv may have went out, maybe we lost our phones, even under storms/disasters it almost never exceeded a week. Today one is lucky if our utilities is back on in a week from non-disasters or storms. We are lucky if those companies cover the cost (because are in place to let them kick the bucket on someone else who is allowed to kick the bucket back towards them). Please convince me life has value!

I (f) lived with my roommate Jeff (names changed) for 3 years before his gf, Bobbie, moved in. She and I became best friends and I was thrilled they had a healthy relationship.

Fast forward a few years and Jeff decided to go to school to learn a trade. He was able to get a scholarship but had to go out of state. They moved 1500 miles away, but always planned on coming home.

After about two and a half years , they moved back. I was okay with it. Even excited. But it’s awful. Bobbie is completely different. They went through something extremely traumatic while in it of state and she’s become controlling and overbearing.

I have a habit of leaving my dishes in the sink until I have a full load for the dishwasher. She refuses to use the dishwasher and will only wash things by hand. So I’m a problem because my stuff is in the way. I’m trying to be better, but if there’s a single cup too many she freaks out.

Ooooh, how could I forget, they aren’t paying rent. A couple of months before they moved back I had a leak that I didn’t notice until it was too late. It caused a lot of damage to their room. The agreement was they would pay for the repairs and would live rent free until the repairs were covered by rent. That was in October. Nothing had been done to fix the problem. I’ve brought it up several times. They complain about living in a smaller room.

I’m sick of the complaints. I’m sick of not having privacy. I’m sick of all their shit being in my living room. And I’m really sick of being told how to behave in my own home by someone who is living there free of charge.

Tonight was just another episode in being pissed off in my own home. I want MY house back.

My husband pisses me off so bad because he refuses to watch movie trailers. If it’s on tv he literally turns his head away. I try to trick him and shove my phone to his face and he closes his eyes. I want him to see the new Planet of the Apes trailer and he won’t so I can’t even talk about it. Rant over, but will continue again as per usual.

this all sprouted from that one reel of the guy showing his day in the life as someone who works a 9-5 job. and its flooded with comments saying, “this is sad”, “don't live like this”, and gifs of fight club and the matrix. its just kids demonizing the idea of a realistic 9-5 job. you gotta realize, not everyone is going to be a millionaire in dubai in a lambo. 99% of y’all watching those reels and paying for those courses aren't going to make it. its reality. and you aren't a slave for having a job, or even worse a career, that has you work a 9-5. plus, the guy in the reel was living pretty good. modern house, dogs, going to chilis on lunch break. and then you find out he has a wife and is about to have kids. he probably went to college and has a decent career. overall, this is the product of red pill propaganda to sell courses and now these kids are acting like 9-5, realistic, jobs/careers are for slaves. strive for the top, in legal and non-scammy ways, but wake up and smell the coffee.

TL;DR - kids are hating on 9-5 jobs/careers and its because of the red pill propaganda they've been fed to sell courses and dreams of being a millionaire in dubai.

For the love of all that is holy...

Why do Texans take 3-5 minutes to go from a dead stop to their final speed? I'm including when the speed limit is only 30.

Why don't Texans ever just drive the speed limit? After their 3-5 minute take-off, they always land at 20% below or 20% above. Why?

Why do Texans always pull into the lefthand lane, instead of the righthand lane, when making a right turn?

Why do Texans camp out in the far left passing lane, when they are passing absolutely no one at all?

Why do Texans let 50 yards elapse between them and the person in front of them before they finally pull forward?

Why do Texans think it's ok to just stop in the middle of the road and block the lane? Especially, why do they think it's ok to do it on 5th St., in the middle of downtown Austin, in bumper-to-bumper traffic? Where my only option is to just wait for them to pick their food up from the restaurant?

I had a particularly aggravating drive home from work today. I'll take a Los Angeles or a Chicago driver over a Texan any day of the week.

p.s. Sweetie? Love? I'm pretty sure your 2.5 ton pavement princess can handle driving in a sprinkle of rain. Just think of it as her crying over how much she loves you, and you need to hurry her home so you can give her proper kisses.

I feel like whenever I make plans with friends at a certain time they’re at least 15-20 mins late, if not more. This is a pretty big sample size too, not just the same people being late repeatedly, and my gf notices the same thing.

I’m not perfect of course, I’m a bit late sometimes, but most of the time I just plan ahead and get to where I need to be at the time I need to be there. It’s really not that hard and I feel like shit when I always try to be punctual out of respect and hardly anyone else reciprocates.

The part I really hate though is most of the time people think it’s cute or quirky to be late. They’ll apologize, but it’s more like “sorry I’m late, I’m just never on time hahaha my life is just such a mess lol” rather than a sincere apology.

Showing up late to a big house party or whatever I get, but when it comes to smaller gatherings with closer friends it’s just obnoxious. Post-college gen Z btw

Idk how Reddit actually works, I have no idea who reads these things. But here goes. I’m a 58 year old gay man that has lived through hell and back and back. A child of divorce the only boy of 4siblings, mom rushed into a second marriage that looked great from the outside, he was my abuser . Before you cast judgement I was 6 when it started, my mom had just been left with 4 kids 10-8-6-2. He was alcoholic but came from money( none of this was my decision I was a child) They had a son, we hid the abuse from him( although it continued) I was 14 and mom walked in on the act. 1978 she had a choice and we dealt with it, he was not charged but ordered to attend AA and we as a family went to group sessions ( it continued, they never asked, I never told) oh before I get to far, after dad walked out mom went to a facility and had an abortion ( I found out in my 30s) and had a mental breakdown. My whole life I’ve protected her from a reality of hell. Sorry, long story short stepfather abuser died 2 years ago , mom makes a plan ( i mentioned im 58, I lost everything in the 08 crunch and moved back to care for my aging parents) when she goes I’m to call my brother and sisters and the mortician, old Irish wake. Well my neighbor just passed ( attached home in north east USA) mom decides she’s selling and moving with my brother. I want to get a van and use it to transport my client to drive appointments and store. I’m getting nothing here, she’s essentially passing me off to siblings who don’t really want to have me. My dilemma is rents are too high, mom’s car has been my transport, I bring home 950 biweekly. So , I guess in actuality I needed to get this out because I have no one to vent to . I’ve become very introverted

[M19] for the last 2 years I’ve been sitting on a learners permit with over 1200 hours of driving time logged and I finally got my test booked and I PASSED FIRST TIME. The freedom I feel, my insurance is 1/5 of the price when I was a learner and I can drive alone (without a supervising adult with a full licence like a parent) and drive around with my mates. This is shaping up a good year just gotta pass the exams which will kill me but oh well, f it, we ball

Im so fing tired of being sick. This year has been a revolving door of sickness. We have been sick since DECEMBER!!! I’m ready to be a hermit. I’m ready to move far away. I’m ready to abandon society. I’m so god damn tired of being sick. On top of this last cold that has lasted a lovely 1.5 fucking months I have been on my period most of that time with only 10 days of a break.

I cannot keep functioning and taking care of my family while continuously bleeding, and unable to eat regularly because it will make me cough till I vomit.

I AM OVER IT.

The next person I see who is visibly sick near me is getting body checked for having the audacity to approach me.

I (22F) am feeling very lost and unmotivated these days. I graduated from college last year and joined a coaching institute to prepare for entrances. It didn't go very well. And right now, I have no idea what to do. I have no idea where to go from this. Back when I was at school, I used to dream of being the age I am rn. I used to dream of travelling, meeting new people, having adventures everywhere I go. While travelling is still a goal of mine, I haven't really started pursuing it. College was fun but I feel like I should have had way more fun than I did. I honestly do not know what I even want anymore.

We are in the age of everyone have a Instagram face and people getting Botox at 17. I never thought of myself as a good looking person but I didn’t think I was hideous. Maybe kind of cute on a good day if you had the right angle and flat ironed every last curl out of my hair.

Now I see people showing pictures of what they look like before plastic surgery, and they look like me. Large eyes, what I would call mild acne, visible pores, pale af, baby face, dark circles, small lips, etc. These people called them selves hideous, too ugly to enter the dating pool or even leave the house. I was doing all that and more in the 2010s apparently looking like a garbage fire. Of course, peoples faces like mine won’t be able to do that in this era because everyone’s expected to look a certain way.

To meet their before pictures were just normal people. Neither extraordinarily pretty nor hideously ugly. Some were even pretty/handsome just in a natural way that just made them look like real people rather than uncanny valley airbrushed magazine models. There was natural variation in their features. Everybody didn’t have the same cheekbones, nose, eye shape and lips and afterwards they all do.

Now people act like if you don’t have those particular features, you’re hideous mountain troll and need to fix your face before you even think of going out in public. People assume your some ugly, unclean freak if you don’t look like a hybrid of Kim K and Bela Hadid with no make up on. I hate the ‘20s because looking like an actual human person is apparently a character flaw now.

I genuinely thought that having the occasional acne spot on my chin once in a blue moon, fine hair that frizzes when it gets too humid, being relatively thin but over 90 lbs, a slightly low nasal bridge and a big forehead were just average features, not hideous. People used to tell me when I got my hair done professionally I cleaned up nicely. But no, apparently I look like a clown and made a fool of myself every time I went out thinking I looked remotely presentable.

Can’t even dunk without the cookie disintegrating. What happened? (Still tasty)

I hate it here! I wish stuff wasn’t so horrible! I am not watching the news, but when I want to search about positive news, it’s either orphan crushing machine, or some “humans are good” sub. The fact that stuff like this exists is ANNOYING! I HATE this world! I HATE that search engines and reddit itself have a “trending topics” tab, NO, I DONT CARE ABOUT WHATS HAPPENING OVERSEAS, LEAVE ME ALONE!