Ok, I have Bipolar type 1 and I'm medication, see a therapist Do what I need to stay mentally healthy

My gf on the other hand is a mentally hot mess I have a strong suspension she either has Bipolar Undiagnosed or borderline personality disorder At this point

She'll go though points of feeling like she's God's gift to the world How she's overly generous about her sense of self
All try to talk with her, but when she is suspiciously manic? There's no reasoning with her At all Last night, was awful 😖 She was raging at me and being disrespectful towards me Making me feel worthless, Like what I've done for her meant nothing, She Has left me, so many times She Has told me she needs sex, while raging at me which makes me go into a fight or flight mentality real quick, She feels like she's invincible, At night when she's drunk is like a whole different person, I've packed my bags and left her a few times, only for her to reach out to me, crying, apologizing, saying how much she loves me and cares about me, How much she misses me, How she doesn't want me to leave her,
While in my head I'm thinking she needs to see a therapist or a psychiatrist to deal with her mental debauchery that she partakes in I love her deeply, care about her, She feels like I'm her soulmate, Wants me to merry her, I'm at a point where she has to seek treatment in order for me to consider marriage with her She's had depression phase's as well as manic phases

I have Bipolar type 1, but when I realized I needed help broke down and got help,

Would feel real bad if she lost me cuz she doesn't have the fourslight to see how her behavior and words Are detrimental towards our relationship and herself

Last night, she broke down crying, Told me how she feels I hate her guts, how I don't like the way she speaks to me, How I don't like her personality, How she's petrified I'll leave her If a opportunity persists itself How she feels like she's has Bipolar But said she hasn't seen a doctor to seriously look into it Idk, what to do at this point,

Advice would be appreciated

I wanna walk, at the same time wanna stay, and love her forever

My fiance has been diagnosed as BP1 since 2016. He's had 2 manic episodes (2016 and 2019), countless depressive episodes. He switches between acknowledging the depression and denying it. We've been together for a year, living together for 8 months (we've known each other as friends for years).

The ongoing narrative from him is that he's tried every single medication out there ever, for depression, anxiety, etc. He's also autistic and has ADHD and says he tried every medication that exists for the ADHD symptoms. He's been on lithium and everything makes him flat, empty and a zombie. He's told me that I won't like him on meds.

I'm at a breaking point.

I now live in a gutted bedroom because he said he was going to renovate and just can't do it. If I do it (which I'm untrained for, he's a carpenter/worked building houses), there will be a major problem because he said he was going to do it. This has come up with smaller things like folding laundry, which lasted for almost 3 weeks of a pile of clean clothes sitting on my kitchen table which I wasn't allowed to touch other than to pick out things I'd wear immediately. But if I don't ask him to help, then I'm a martyr who is going to die on the mountain of clothes and chores without asking for help. God forbid if I mention that if I ask him for help, it doesn't happen for weeks. Then I'm being nasty and ableist.

Sorry, there's a lot going on and this is half rant and half plea for advice. He's been in various treatments since he was 12 and he's now 43. Absolutely refuses medication and therapy. There is a group therapy group that he's gone to 4 times in the last year, and it's the only thing he's willing to consider, as long as it doesn't interfere with other plans. Or if he just doesn't feel like going.

He's tried to kill himself in front of me twice, the second time with the active intention to hurt me. That was the point I demanded he get help and he went to group twice. It's been another 2 weeks and he hasn't gone to those.

I want to be there. I want to support him. Today I begged him to please show a sign that he wants things to improve. My own mental health is spinning out because of what's going on. I feel like I can't talk to anyone because the only advice I'll get is to leave. And they're probably right. He won't tell anyone because he's convinced he'll get committed and the mental health system here (in Iceland) is atrocious. So now we're carrying this terrifying secret.

Do I just get myself committed? If I'm in a better place, will I be able to handle him better? Should I get him committed against his will? I'm afraid to fight with him because what if he tries again and succeeds at killing himself in front of me?

He's so hopeless (his words) and I don't know what else to do.

(To avoid confusion, my gf lives with her aunt)

No contact is permited due to not being blood related. So no calls, visits, letters, etc. I feel like the only thing i can do is wait. She doesnt get along with her aunt at all, and frankly i see why, they have instigated multiple arguments between my family, and has said very hurtful things to her, including how her dead dad would be disappointed in her, or that her behavior is the reason her mom left.

Ive done some research on how bipolar works, and im wondering if the stress from living with her aunt might exacerbate it. I know it wouldnt just go away, but livong with someone like that cant be helpful.

Last time this sort of thing happened i was only able to talk to her on thanksgiving and christmas.

So, if anyone has any advice, it would be greatly appreciated.

I was with my partner for 15 years. We moved to Europe for his job and have been living there for several years. He has ended our relationship several times during episodes, but we continued living together and got back together eventually. In 2021 he went into the worst manic I've ever seen (possible psychosis). Last year he went into mania again and he hired a lawyer and was trying to have me leave our house. We are not legally married. In the country we live in there is a law that unmarried couples must split the property when they separate, similar to divorce. The catch is that you are supposed to do this within 1 year of separation. His lawyer told him about this and this is the angle they used to try to evict me.

He claimed that his severe manic breakup with me was the end of our relationship even though a lot happened in between then. He is even using one of our couples counseling sessions years ago where he said he wanted to end things as proof and the counselor as a witness. For a year now I have been served off and on with letters and demand letters saying that I must leave because I have no right to be there etc. He would amp things up during episodes of course and have meltdowns when I would ask practical questions about me leaving or ask to split the property. He would also literally run away and or threaten me with things like making sure he takes our pets away from me (who he knows mean everything to me) or that he will stop helping me with anything and act completely cruel. So in my best defense at the time, I just started leaving him alone and I ignored the letters. Yes, I did consult attorneys and they told me it was okay, but also encouraged me to file to split our property. I honestly wanted to minimize damage, hoped he'd change his mind like every other time, and also was scared of how he would react, to be honest.

He has used me leaving him alone and against me now, as we don't have recent pictures together and he says we don't act like a couple, sleep in separate rooms, etc etc. He has told all his friends that now I never see that we have been broken up and his side of the story. It looks really bad on my end, especially to people who are not familiar with the patterns of bipolar disorder. There have been many times when I see glimpses of the old him, but he has a lawyer who is constantly encouraging him to move forward. Of course, it is his choice, but paired with his episodes this has been a recipe for disaster. He has completely distorted reality to the point where I'm beginning to even question myself. I have no one to talk to about this because they don't understand. He has turned himself into the victim.

He had dropped the court case about a month ago, but now I got a summons that he is taking me to court officially and I need to respond. I confronted him about this and he said he can't stop it. Well, of course he can, but he claims it's his lawyers. He also blames me for everything and he's obsessed with accusing me of stalking his friends on Instagram and calling them which I never did. He showed me all his "proof" today and I told him honestly I am not stalking his Instagram friends. He told me then he can never forgive me because I'm lying. These are the exact same things he accused me of during one of his severe manic episode years ago (although I thought he was coming down from mania now, I'm not sure). It's like he went back to the year 2021, which is interestingly all the events he mentioned in his court documents and he keeps talking about everything from that year as if it were now and nothing happened in between.

I obviously need to hire an attorney at this point and I'm afraid of how he's going to react. Not that he'd get violent, but just afraid he's going to be spiteful to me. I also mentioned to him about selling my things because I can't take them if I move out. He told me to keep them there and then got angry saying I don't need to sell everything I'm still here and stop saying this to him. He can not seem to process the reality of us separating even though he claims to desperately want this. He tells me that he lives in a prison with me and has no privacy. I have been so kind to this man and patient, I have tried to minimize all the damage and avoid meltdowns, etc. I love him with all my heart and it breaks my heart that this is happening. I don't know if this is his bipolar anymore, or purely a money issue. All I know is that I'm so confused and morally don't know what to do anymore. He's getting advice from someone taking his money and I'm not even sure if he realizes what is going to happen.

I don't want to lose him, but maybe he's already gone. Earlier today I told him how I feel and he actually listened for a while. We then spent some time together and we haven't for a long time. But he still says that if I don't sign a paper saying that I'll leave by a certain date we will go to court and I'll be evicted. He also told me that he'll give me any money I need to replace my things and help me as long as I don't fight him or we will be enemies and he will destroy me. I feel he's manipulating me. I'm just really scared to make any wrong moves at this point and afraid I'm going to hurt us both by doing the wrong thing. I thought that by now we'd be back together like in the past. I also don't know how to explain any of this to this new attorney because when I've tried to during consultations they always say they haven't heard of anything like this before. Truly from an outside perspective, it's very convincing that I'm the problem here. What do I do?

So I don’t know where else to turn but here. I am in therapy seeking help because she fucked me up mentally, physically and emotionally. When we got together she was diagnosed wrong with bipolar 2. A year in to us she was diagnosed with 1. I admit I broke up with her first because she wasn’t giving me the attention I needed because she kept saying she was busy with work and school. It was a long distance relationship. So I would drive every single weekend to see her. So that week I was on period and I was emotional and I changed my hair and it felt like she didn’t care and we got dry. That day I called her because I haven’t heard from her in hours and it went from there. Both of us got so angry and she heard what she wanted to hear. Shit I never said.and at the end I did end it but out of anger. And she asked me for space and I didn’t know how to give it. I finally did and two weeks later I finally hear from her and she ended us. But she told she wanted to find herself and love herself but she also brought up how she jumped into us too fast and brought up her ex saying she gave them many chances. This was so weird to me. Because we were happy. We were good but I found out stuff from her family she was saying and never told me and just said she is scared. She keeps saying she doesn’t know why she did what she did and she keeps throwing herself into school, work and a friend. I think the friend and her are involved but that could be me. I heard she’s finally starting therapy soon but still has so much anger towards me. I still feel like this is over and done with but some part of me wants answers. And still wants to know why she treated me to coldly. I’m telling you guys we were so good together. I was going to marry her. I helped her with everything. Every single thing and any thing she ever needed. i wasn’t bad to her at all. I’m just still so confused about all of this and her actions. I’m confused on why she is so mad at me still. I did write a letter to her that she kept. She also still wearing my necklace I gave her. I did take her off my socials but that was for me. I kept looking for her posting things for her and it wasn’t helping me. Please any advice ?

Here I am, not even 2 months gone, and it came.

Why couldn't this have happened months ago??? Prior to divorce papers?

I'm 2 months into a 12mo lease, and unless she's paying me to break it, I'm here.

Plus, honestly the apology while heartfelt, was fairly blanketing, and I let her know every terrible way she had hurt me. She expressed her own hangups, traumas, issues with forgiveness etc and I let her know that I would not be coming straight home, and need to heal.

I love my wife beyond all things, but.. she's not really fighting for me. This has to be more than depression, loneliness, and fear.

She treated me SO poorly, and mania or not, why isn't she calling me? Creating scenarios for us to hangout?

I've waited for so long for certain things to be said, but its not enough. I need to see action, gestures, something that shows she really wants this so I'm not just easing back into the cycle and letting her off the hook.

This is hard guys. Believe me, I know a thousand of you would tell me be wary and run, and another thousand of you would LOVE to hear this from your own significant other.

Her realizations are starting, but we're not back and we're not healed. In the next month I may setup a couples counseling appt so that we can start to discuss it, but there it is.

She loves me, misses me, and asked me to please come back and work it out with her.

It's a beautiful and frightening thing, but it was such a financial btch of a thing to leave and make a place of my own, and the expense to change that is not in my hands.

At the moment, it also doesn't seem like the healthy next step.

I'm tired of having nightmares of him and waking up in a meltdown. I'm tired of feeling suicidal daily. Time has made no difference as I still feel his absence 8 months later.

I started Lamictal and it helped. Had to get off of it because I believe im allergic to it so now back to square one with feeling suicidal. Been on medical leave from work for months because I started having seizures I believe related to ptsd. Trying to go back this month so I can pick up a bunch of overtime to be able to stay busy to cope. At the beginning of this discard I got 3 jobs to cope. I didn't have a day off for a month.

He's still definitely manic and I don't know if he'll ever snap out of it. He'll just hate me forever. I can't bring myself to throw out his stuff because he came back once from this and it feels like the only piece I have of him left. Humans aren't meant to have an important person just drop out of your life for no fucking reason, with death you somewhat have closure but with this there is none. It's an endless "will they won't they come back" until they either do or just never show back up. I was promised he'd always come back if he ever ran. I don't know if that'll be held up. I really don't.

I hate this illness. I had so much hope for the future after the first episode but all it took was one bad psych to fuck everything up. I literally cannot get over that because it wasn't his fault. I can't blame him. He was trying. I can't.

I really hate life.

I’m sure you all know what i’m talking about. Every day I hope they reach out to me so badly. But at the same time - I just know they won’t ever get it together. They’re 30 and have no career or prospects and can’t keep themselves on the rails on a basic level.

but God do I love and miss them so much

What are some major differences to distinguish between the two?

My husband has been manic for months. I've posted many times asking questions and trying to make sense of it all. After all this and him pushing for me to leave him I accepted we probably had no future. I started my process of letting go a while back. I made his appointments and paid for the diagnosis and meds that he was on for 4 days and went off and eventually threw away. Yesterday he came home and told me he was tired of feeling this way and wanted to do what he could to feel better. A dream come true right, isn't this what we all want our unmedicated SO to finally realize?? My problem is I don't know if I have it in me anymore to be the sole support in his life. Yea he is coming out of it. But I know med adjustments and such can take years and those feelings are I think gone about him. I've dealt with this undiagnosed for 4 years multiple break up divorce and remarry we haven't even had our first anniversary yet. I haven't felt safe or loved in months he's been mean checking out other girls in front of me saying he was worried he would cheat etc. I've been in counseling trying to deal with this all Alone because up until yesterday he wanted no docs no meds no couples counseling. I'm angry I guess but I was set on walking away and part of me thinks he sensed that and this is another plan to have me stay. It's hell what we go thru when they feel they don't love us and want the attention of everything that moves but us and when they come out everything should be OK? I'm sorry I'm angry and confused and ranting but when does enough become enough?

So I've posted previously but I thought this warranted a new question. My wife went into a manic state one day, she was very agitated and said she wanted a divorce. She then proceeded to cry and hug me and tell me how much she was going to miss me. About a week later, she attempted suicide. She has since been put on olanzapine. I've asked her if she still wants a divorce and she has said yes but now she DOES. NOT. CARE. I started to cry yesterday because I love her and she responded with "I don't know why you're crying. I told you this a couple of months ago." I mean I guess she wants a divorce and there isn't a lot I can do about it but it just seems like these decisions are either coming from emotional DISregulation or no emotions at all. Does anyone have any experience with this drug and what it does to emotions?

I’ve been with my SO for 3 years and I feel almost at breaking point. My biggest fears about leaving though is that he’s told me he will either kill himself or kill me and our baby if I left him. I am wondering - for those of you who have left the relationship and had their SO say things like that, did they ever do it? I’m just so worried about this happening.

Sorry this is long but bear with me. I hope I can find some insight and help to heal my heart without judgment. I matched with a significantly younger woman on tinder (I'm 61 she is 27). I typically date younger women so matching with her was not out of the ordinary. We talked for a week on the app and then exchanged numbers and continued. We also exchanged social media which is where I found her posts about being bipolar. Anyway.....we talked about everything from dreams, desires, sex, fetishes etc. Everything matched perfectly. Our conversations were very very intimate. She expressed her desire to be with me because I was older and she had so many failed relationships with guys her age. We talked and texted non-stop for days every waking hour. We exchanged additional pictures so she saw candid non-tinder pics of me. She expressed her attraction to me and how she was falling for me. We made plans to meet for a drink. Everything went well we talked and laughed and had amazing chemistry. After incredible kiss goodnight and I left on cloud 9. Then she shut down. No text in the morning. I asked what was wrong and she finally answered saying she was "processing". Ok, fair enough. More silence and then she said she "rushed in and didn't want to get into something she wasn't ready for." Then I was cut off completely. No more contact. Two weeks later he FB was updated to "In a relationship" with a guy her age. I'm left with so many questions and I'm hurting. The things she said made me fall so hard for her. So one question is...can BPD cause someone to have short term attraction to someone they normally wouldn't be attracted to? I read about hypersexuality during manic periods. Could that have been what she was going through? I would appreciate some insight. Thanks in advance

Or are you just worried and want to help them?

If you're worried remind yourself that this is not a baby or a child. But a full grown adult who will have to face consequences for their actions.

Stay strong and please tell me not to call them.

Edit-

I ended up calling them. I got weak but I texted that it was a moment of nostalgia. Later in the day, they called while hysterical.They managed to call me on my Google account. Have them now blocked there as well. But I didn't feel anything for them on call. Still had to inform her parents (who blame me for it all) that they were planning their suicide and claimed they had the tools.

At this point, if they do die I'm probably gonna get blamed and they're gonna ruin my life. I don't know what to do now.

I don’t think he’s manic. He’s done this once when manic, but it’s not the case now.

He said my phone was going off a bunch of times last night, and that I was getting messages on Facebook messenger “from a guy with a white hat” in his profile picture. He decided to open my phone to check the messages (and I don’t care if he does check my phone, ever, I have nothing to hide) and he said that was proof I was cheating. I have no idea who could have been messaging me, but I certainly wasn’t cheating so IF the messages were inappropriate in nature, they weren’t provoked by me in any way. But I’ll never know who it was or what they said, because he says he deleted the messages. He went through the rest of my messages and sent me screenshots. 2 of the messages were from before I even knew him as confirmed by dates on the messages and have the potentially loosest form of flirting you can imagine (nothing NSFW), and the other two were innocent (no flirting from me, I mentioned my boyfriend in them AND I put a stop to it when they tried to flirt with me). He says the fact that they were still in my messages and not deleted means I was “saving them” to have choices. What? I just don’t delete anything, ever. Some of the other messages he showed me that he didn’t have screenshots for, just from going through my messages together, he completely misconstrued or misread. Like one guy asking for my number. It was a Facebook marketplace message, and I never answered him bc the transaction was over.

It got to the point that he’s told me I can’t have any contact with anyone who could potentially ever be interested in me. Like, he doesn’t want me in facebook groups because then the men in there might want to message me. I don’t just mean anything dating/sex related groups, but groups for ANYTHING. I know it’s controlling and abusive, but I went ahead and did it because I need to him to understand that I have nothing to hide. I’m not going to make it worse by giving him reason to think I’m fighting him or trying to hide things. I went through my messenger and deleted every message I’ve ever gotten from a guy who wasn’t family all the way back to 2019, even though almost none of them are sexual and the few that were, I stopped responding and/or blocked those guys. But since I didn’t delete the messages themselves, he thinks I wanted to still talk to them “one day.” So whatever, I deleted them.

I don’t think I’m asking for advice. I know the “correct” answer. But I don’t want to do it. I love him desperately, with all of my heart, more than anyone I’ve ever loved. And no, I don’t think he’s projecting. Please don’t suggest that, it will not be helpful.

I really don't know what to do here and I really could use some advice from people who understand, because the people around me are not going to understand it.

Me and my husband have been together for almost 10 years. He has been dealing with bipolar disorder for over 10 years, so it's something we've been dealing with together for the last 10 years. Normally when he's feeling very 'manic' and irritable/annoyed or when he's very down, I try to support him and be there for him and that's always how we managed. I can always remember that his bipolar behavior is not him, and it will pass again, and it always has.

However, since a month ago, he started to act different again. At first he was very annoyed and irritable about basically everything, very on edge, hasn't slept properly for a few weeks now. But now he started to be angry at me, about mistakes I made in our relationship over 5 years ago. Never was this ever an issue but all of a sudden he's very angry about it and thinking about leaving me because he can't deal with what happened back then.

Now the problem: I don't know how to support him through this one since I'm the problem now. What do I do? Do I give him space? Do I try to help him? I already took the blame for everything I've done wrong in the past, but that doesn't seem to change anything. I am really at my wit's end ...

At the moment, he's seeing a psychiatrist every 3 months, and taking lithium and SSRI's. He did get his blood checked recently and his lithium levels were too low.

I'm sorry if my story isn't making much sense, I'm an emotional wreck at the moment so it's hard to even type this down. Thanks in advance for everyone who has some advice!

In my last post I’ve been wondering if my ex is having a manic episode because he got together with a girl he doesn’t have anything in common with a week after we broke up.

Yesterday we ended up talking openly and I asked him how they got together. He told me that his brother made half of it up, as they’ve known each other for some years but never talked. It’s his brothers old classmate.

When I asked him if he is happy and what makes a relationship work for him if it’s not about having things in common, he said “idk I am just vibing. It works for me right now, I am happy I guess.”

His mental health is still shit, he still won’t change his medication dose and his life is also still suffering (no job, no money). He had broken up with me to fix himself and his life but he has been with her since nearly 3 weeks now…

Last night his partner found our messages and told him to stop talking to me. He would’ve sent me pictures from his new house, telling me that he loves me as a friend and we also would just talk as friends. Our conversation was very neutral. I would tell him that I am happy for him if he is happy with her.

He said we can still play games together sometimes (it’s how we bonded, and over other interests we were same about, it truly was a special connection we had). He would add me back on the platforms where he is playing on. But I am removed from the platforms where we used to talk to each other.

I am genuinely confused, and I think he is, too. Is he really manic, is this really a rebound and he tries to fill a void to not be alone? He said his feelings are probably buried, because of his mental state.

I decided not to reach out to him anymore but I wish he would realise that he lost a connection he has never had before. Someone who cared about him more than anyone before.

She seems to isolate him from everyone, and I hope he notices that… i miss my best friend. I want toxic like her…

Ive read every book for those supporting people with BP..id say quarter of the internet. Watched hours of corny youtube videos with shitty graphics. Emailed every marriage counselor within 50 miles. Even LinkedIn messaged my husbands therapist, because the practice she works for doesn't understand bipolar, or that 'shocking' someone other than the patient would call asking for an urgent appointment on behalf of them. And a hell whole of a lot of other desperate pleas, agreements, and pain you all dont need to know. I was just told, no its not 3,000, nay its not 10,000 its $20,000 gambled away. Money hidden from me all this time. His mother's inheritance gone. Money we needed.

While I worry about my brother dying from cancer in honolulu, fraught with the distress over how many times can I afford to visit him? While my husband gambled away $20,000 dollars in two months.

I have learned a lot since my first post. I have dug in. And time and fucking time again I read the same bullshit, the same 'its going to feel unfair', 'your life is going to change'. You cant change the routine...say goodbye to weeks long vacations...Fuck ive even listened to a podcast from two people with bipolar stating it will be unfair on you as a significant other, but you just have to hang on. They even called out that reddit groups like this are not helpful if you are a S.O. How is it not, how do you not connect the dots and ignore the thousands of testimony.

Are you kidding me, this disease, this denial ridden lying motherfucker of a disease has destroyed my life. It has my own mother sick with worry as I deal with a suicidal husband, and she wraps her head around her son's rare cancer diagnosis. And the most ignorant of us all gleefully has every appointment, or responsibility booked or done for him. With little thank you, 0 acknowledgment, and layers of narcissism/denial so thick it would flood egypt in a day. I wish I could kick him out today, but I fear his death. I fear guilt.

Life sucks. I hate this disorder and everything it ruins. My abusive mom (who didn't like my so because it took away attention from her) keeps commenting that I've completely backslid in progress and I'm just a shell of myself the moment he left. The same woman who would constantly shit talk him for minimal things wants him back because she's seen how miserable I've been.

I don't know how to move forward positively. My relationship was healthy and the chemistry was amazing. I generally thought I'd marry this man- and actually wanted to. I come from abuse and I don't get attached to people easy, honestly if anyone shows interest in me I usually run in the other direction. He was different because he has the same background and he understood. Being with him filled me with so much joy It gave me a reason to fight the constant depression. It gave me a reason to get up everyday and not dread it. It gave me a reason to go out and be social because if I had a problem I always had him as support. I just succum to it again now and I hate waking up everyday. My entire life has always been that constant cycle and he changed everything. I was a better person when he was around. I had ambition to do better and be better.

I told my therapist there's no positive outcome for me here. It's like he died. I'm either going to move on from him coming back or it'll be so long it won't hurt anymore. The fucking illness destroys lives- even worse providers who don't know what they're doing with such a sensitive illness which is exactly what happened.

I've just accepted this is life now again. I had about 2 years of happiness and just gone in an instant. This is why I hate relying on people but everything always worked out with us so I thought he was one person I could rely on. I try to just rely on myself but it's a lonely existence. I hate people for a reason.

I was just thrown to the curb by my ex girlfriend in an incredibly abusive fashion. Blocked me on everything, was told that it doesn’t matter if I’m in her life because I always make it worse, and that she doesn’t care about me at all.

As someone who has decided to put themselves out there to avoid ruminating over this situation, I would love to know from others about success stories/how long it took you to find that special someone after being treated so harshly.

I cannot hurry the diagnosis process up for my husband, I don’t know what to do

On Sunday he broke one of my boundaries. I thought it would be the end of us. We cried together and he told me he was going to kill himself. So I called the Community access mental health helpline. They asked me to keep him safe overnight and call on Monday.

Then on Monday, after much back and forth, they said that his case has been referred to the Community Outpatient team and to call them on Wednesday.

Today, I call them. They tell me they are having a meeting to discuss referrals later. I tell them to please discuss that he is hallucinating more and his mood is more volatile and to prioritise this case.

Then later, they called him just to signpost him to crisis services. He’s not in crisis most of the time, just in pain himself and causing frustration and sometimes pain.

He just needs to be diagnosed and prescribed medication so he can stop “self medicating” with the weed and come down

He can’t carry on like this, he is compliant w seeking help most of the time and sometimes he is crying for help but sometimes (like today when he ran out of weed) he refuses & acts like a child and I have to talk to them on his behalf. But he is also throwing this back in my face at times and has said I’m “coercing” him into getting help and “gaslighting” him into thinking he is sick

How bad does it have to get for them to do something?

Being his wife has been a thankless task recently. I just want him to get help. I just want my husband back

tldr; I don’t know how to get my husband help for suspected mixed manic episode soon

My BF is wearing thin so I can't talk to him at this time. He needs a break from managing me. I just need perspective on what you guys might need from us to make handling a depression phase a little easier?

I'm trying being honest, aware, not laying in bed all day, and TRYING not to snap or be moody at him. I'm doing my best at self care and keeping up meds and supplements...

I'm also trying to give physical affection to "make up" for my mood. Hugging him when we're near, little kisses and back scratches (he likes that). But he's having a hard time. I can tell and I understand. It's been a really bad week. He's getting snappy and impatient. I feel so bad for him.

So, what would help if it were you? I know everyone is different, but I need some perspective from the other side.

Do you think giving physical affection while acting moody and weird is helpful or just confusing? Should I try to give space? Should I stop telling him what's going on in my brain so much because it might be exhausting for him?

Most of the time he's pretty good at talking with me about this, and honesty helps, but I think he's just tired of managing me.

I tried to keep it short. 😬 Any perspective will help.

I have bipolar and my ex left me because he couldn't deal with me. I miss him and love him, but it's over. How do I forget him and move on?

I am obviously going to work through this with my individual therapist, but what are some good boundaries to establish while repairing a relationship with a partner who is in between episodes and wanting to fix the mess they made of their relationship (and life) while they were manic? I will start:

• No meds, no relationship
• No therapy, no relationship
• No contact with affair partners
• Proactive plan for when mania begins to occur

hello, im living with bipolar (21m).

dealing with bipolar was very difficult, what made it much worse is that i also have bpd and did (got diagnosed this year 2024) and it just made sense when i consulted with a private psychiatrist (because at the time of bipolar diagnosis, i wasn't fully aware of bpd and did)

this is the host, writing this story. (we are 4 inside)

i know that there are hundred of ways to manage bipolar effectively, but i let bipolar controlled me where it is supposed to be the other way. (i could've have done something, but i felt powerless)

when the body is in manic ep, 4 of us will try to take over the body, however, #4 always wins.

when #4 is in control while the body is experiencing mania, he tends to be very destructive and toxic. he would do evey bad, awful, fucked up thing you could imagine one can do to their partner.

now, the body while in manic ep which started in january, #4 took over like what he always did.

this is the part where i (the host) decided to break up with my ex because i know what #4 will do (he would estroy everything), the break up, i thought at first it was the best way to save my ex from hell within me. it's the only way i know at that moment that will keep him safe. but i was wrong.

[i'm sorry if this isn't making any sense, im trying my best to explain (english isn't my native language)]

i don't even feel i have the right to explain how it felt for me where in fact i know how i destroyed my ex's life.

now that i got hold of my body, locked #4 up in a magic tree house where (a lot of happy memories i had with my ex is what the tree house is made of) that's what keeping #4 locked up and i have the light (idk how to describe it, but i have it with me)

my ex put an end to our communication for good, now that i know what to do with this illnesses, i have good plans, ways how to manage this and that, healthy ways to fight this.

idk

i just know that he did the right thing, but i can't deny that i am hurt, i am hurt because it's too late for me to make it up to him. after the shitty thinga ive done to him.

i love him with my whole heart, i really do. idk what to say im out of words bec rn i think i am experiecing mixed ep (im a rapid cycler, i get mixed ep too)

i know that if there's really someone who suffers from so much pain, it's you. please know that i'll be waiting for you to hold my hand. let's go home? (heh i can't help myself but include this part)

but no, i know that ive never fulfilled my promise to you when we just started dating, i promised to give you safety, but i put you in danger. i promised to give you my whole heart, but i gave you heart full of hatred.

i know that this is the universe reminding me that love doesn't mean together.

but i love you with my whole heart. heh

im really sorry.

I think this is time number 4 in the past 6 mts. I can’t help but laugh. I blocked him too. I hope he keeps me blocked forever !!!!! I woke up feeling so free. The feeling I would get whenever I saw his name pop up on my phone , not knowing if it was a happy text or a fight text. A depressed text. Who knows. Of course in the end Everything was my fault. And I quote “ with all your baggage” lol. Says the bipolar man who lives with his mom. Is divorced. 2 kids and in out of the asylum. Ok buddy

My wife and I have been together for a little over 10 years. We have two beautiful children. Right around the second child, my wife's mood began to cycle severely. She would be loving one day and incredibly angry the next. Things got pretty rough and we talked about separating but inevitably they would get a little better. One day she came to me and said she wanted a divorce even though she loves me and will miss me dearly. I respected her decision even though I didn't understand and tried to maintain our home. Two weeks later, she tried to kill herself. It was then that I checked her into respite where she was diagnosed with Bipolar and put on lithium. Since then things have gotten better but we have yet to discuss the divorce. I don't want to dismiss her feelings as if they didn't happen but I also don't know if that was said out of confusion and/or depression. Has anyone here ever done something like that while in an "episode" and if so what happened after? Any help would be appreciated. Thank you.

​

Update: Thank you everyone for your responses. I spoke with her and she seems to still want to go through with it which is her right. The odd thing I will say is that she is not only on lithium but also an antipsychotic and there doesn't seem to be any emotion. She's gone from angrily saying she wants a divorce to deadpan saying "Yes divorce is best" and then going back to what she's doing. I just don't know what to think anymore. If this was constant I wouldn't question it but within like a 2 month period we went from "We should get a house together" to this.

My partner (34m) has been taking vraylar for a few months now. We recently decided to start trying to conceive and I want to know if anyone has any experience with vraylar affecting male fertility. I know this is the case with some antidepressants, but since vraylar isn't a typical antidepressant, I'm curious what the anecdotal evidence is. I'm hoping there are no effects to his fertility because not taking the medication is not an option at the moment. Is there anyone who can weigh in? Give it to me straight.

At a loss for what to do. Kind of know what I should do, but its not necessarily feasible right now. Excuse the choppiness, trying to be as succinct as possible.

Update: Just reviewed rules for "Advice needed" posts so adding more context on BPSO: Bipolar 1, bad anxiety, depression, allegedly multipersonality disorder but unclear if this was self-diagnosed or if psych actually said this, PTSD. She's medicated but psychiatrist has been messing with them for months and there's also been conflicts with other meds that she's been trying for other health issues. I believe the last 8 month's issues have been a combination of underlying issues presenting more after getting sober and also all the medication experimenting. Not currently in therapy, went for a couple of months last year but stopped because "my therapist said there's nothing else we need to work on and my anxiety hasn't been bad". Translation: She wouldn't talk to therapist so when therapist suggests they stop meeting until she feels comfortable opening up she interprets this as "not needing therapy because I'm therapized" (has a history of this which has been confirmed). Also her anxiety has been worse than ever.

-Together almost 6 years (not married). Moved across country to live together 3-4 years ago. SO has been sober a little over a year. There's a ton of unresolved baggage from pre-sobriety that I won't even address. I thought things would be better once she cleaned up, but didn't realize that when you get sober, many of the things you drank to mute, or many of the things that weren't presenting as much when you drank, could begin to present more. One of them being her Bip1.

-Her family and I cornered her into rehab a little over a year ago. I think there's some resentment from that that she doesn't even realize. This period is the first time I started to notice she was in a bit of a diff reality than the rest of us. Thankfully her family witnessed it too. We never really addressed it, just hoped it was temporary/circumstantial. Things were initially great once she got out. Wasn't her first attempt at getting sober but this has been her longest.

- Going on 9 months ago we began having problems. Our pet has been sick since July so I initially thought these issues were due to low sleep/stress. Around this same time is when her Bip2 got upgraded to Bip1, among other things such as anxiety, MPD, PTSD. Her psych also began messing with her meds a lot. I then started to think/hope all of this was just due to med changes. Issues primarily being communication, tone, anger/irritation, and mood swings. Just constantly so quick to anger over the smallest inconvenience. Constantly talking to me in an irritated or angry tone. Constantly picking apart everything I do and masking it as "just asking questions it that ok?". Anything that's wrong with the world is my fault. We're talking trivial things too (literally trivial, not me being insensitive to something that isn't trivial to her). At times it seems like the calm peaceful periods are too much for her so she needs to create conflicts. Just constantly telling me what I'm doing wrong or asking why I'm doing _______. Then 5 min after shes freaking out over something - related to me or not - she'll be back to cheery, singing, talking to our pet all nicely, etc.

- The best way I've summarized it that still has never gotten through to her is, "Do you think you've been like this to me for almost six years and I just randomly woke up one day and decided to have a problem with it? Or do you think that maybe the way you're acting/treating me has changed a bit?"

- Differences in reality started to emerge more too. Apparently, everyone's yelled at her? The doctor, professors, random people? Apparently, I've been yelling at her for years and she's just given up saying anything about it and just lives with it? (this is not factual by the way). She'd freak out over our pet's weight, say he's the lightest he's ever been, and then I'd show a literal graph of his weight that shows otherwise and she wouldn't want anything to do with it. She'd freak out that something is wrong with our pet and her mom and I thinking otherwise is us being in denial? Or us gaslighting her?

-She has ongoing health issues too that doctors struggle to figure out. I empathize with this. Naturally, this leads to her trying to research the problems herself which naturally leads to self-diagnosis. One week it'll be one thing, another week it'll be another, etc. A month ago she had a meltdown convinced she had cancer or a liver problem. A couple hours after a friend joked that researching medical problems online always leads to cancer.... She went to the ER the next morning. I didn't go because I was sick. They said she was fine. Few hour later plus more Googling and she no longer agreed with the doctors and was considering going back the next day. A week of doctors appointments, a second ER trip (which I also did not go with her for), and multiple Xrays, ultrasounds, CTs, etc. The whole works. Everyone said she was fine. This made her feel a little better but she is still convinced they're wrong in some way or form.

-She's also one of those people that's always right. It's scary because she TRULY BELIEVES this. There's no way she's wrong. Even when there's hard data that says otherwise. She'll say the pet is declining for 6 weeks straight. It'll be crazy to her that I don't agree. Then on week 7 the pet will display a possible new symptom and BOOM "see I was right all along".... If you take 100 shots in basketball you're bound to make one at some point....

-I used to attempt to speak up for myself and stand my ground. This all leads to a cycle of uno reverse cards. If I match her volume, I'm yelling at her. If I make my tone extra monotone and soft or even throw in a "babe" or her name in an attempt to deconflict, then it's "do you even hear the way you're talking to me right now?" If I try calling out her tone, it's "do you hear YOURSELF?" If I try to speak up about how she's making me feel, it's "You're tripping" "Think what you want" "You're being crazy" "What's your issue" "Wtf is your problem". Today she decided to pull a "Have you thought that maybe I'm being like this because of how you're treating me?" Also if I don't agree with her or have a different opinion/analysis of something than her (this applies to other people as well) to her that's somehow me wronging her in some way or form.

-Last couple months I've just been keeping my head down, walking on egg shells, and trying to give her as few reasons as possible to pick apart something I say or am doing. After all there's no use arguing with someone who is always right. The thing is, in the past when I've tried to stand up for myself and actually cited evidence, she then goes "Oh so this whole time you've been saying everything is fine you've been lying? That feels great" or "If I'm so horrible why are you still here". ChatGPT has really helped me dissect all these things she says/does and recognize the manipulation, gaslighting, etc. She's just not even conscious she's doing it so I know she'd blow a gasket should I ever bring it up.

-Which brings me to the main point of all of this. I'm a tall, big, scary-looking, tatted, mixed-race male living in the south. She's not. She's clearly developed this narrative in her head that I've apparently been mistreating her for years and any issue or problem I have with how she's treating me does not exist. Even me avoiding her/avoiding conflict turns into "why're you being weird" haha. This is not going to be resolved. If I were to say you're gaslighting or manipulating me, she would say that's what I'm doing to her. If she says I'm doing something that she is ACTUALLY doing, and I call her out on it, then to her it just looks like I'm being immature and I'm the one pulling the uno reverse card. I'm also in the process of being assessed for ASD. She hasn't yet, but I'm worried she'll try pinning the tone stuff or even all of this on that. I grew up in a toxic household where my dad would speak to my mom, sister, and I this same way and have these similar outbursts. I know it when I see it, this isn't ASD misinterpretation.

-It's becoming increasingly clear that I need to exit this situation but I'm concerned about fallout. 1. I'm closer to pets than people and don't want to lose our pet. 2. Both our names are on the lease. 3. Pretty sure leaving her would send her off the wagon which I recognize is her decision, but would still feel bad about. 4. Worried she'd self-harm. 5. Not sure where I'd even move to. I moved across the country for her and don't have any friends or family out here. Not sure I'd want to move to my home state though either. Also love my room/office and have perfectly set it up. It's hollow, but living together also helps reduce expenses. Most importantly 6. I know I shouldn't but I'm worried she's going to try "defaming" me. Not that I'm famous, I'm not, but you get what I mean. She clearly has this narrative that I'm mistreating her. I recognize it's bias of me to say I'm not, but I'm not haha. I'm concerned that she'll begin spreading this reality of hers to her friends, to her family, to my family, or even to my customers (I have a business). Given the present day climate and the fact that I'm a big scary looking man, I think many people would be inclined to believe her. Especially since her friends aren't really close enough to her to have seen much of her bad side. I also think that any attempt I'd make at refuting her would look like me pulling the classic "bitches be crazy". I recognize many actually toxic and hurtful men have used that for decades so I imagine that's likely what it would look like I'm doing. I'm close with her family, they've been very supportive through her alcoholism issues, so I'd like to think they'd be able to see through all this. After all, she did take things out on them a little bit over the holidays too so they have seen a little bit themselves. But in the end of the day she's their blood so I think they'd still be inclined to believe/side with her. Chatgpt has been advising me through all this and suggested I start keeping logs of all incidents which I've done since January.

-Not sure how to close this out.