I really don't know how to navigate life. I fear for the future so much because I just seem to struggle more as time goes on. I'm 32, single, live alone and unemployed. I left work in 2018 due to a nervous breakdown. I haven't been well enough to work since, except attempting to start a dog walking business and failing. I am late diagnosed Autistic and have depression, social anxiety and CPTSD. My mental health issues began at a young age and even after numerous therapies and meds I'm just not getting anywhere. My social anxiety even effects my relationships with family and friends, let alone people I don't know. I just don't fit in anywhere and I don't know how I'm ever going to work again. Even simple decisions are impossible at the moment, I don't know how to make life changing ones. I see everyone around me functioning and enjoying life and I dont know how to do it. I feel broken.

I don't know what anyone can do. I just feel so alone with this.

forgive me if this doesn't make sense, i'm typing it on my phone while walking.

for the entirety of my life i have never allowed myself to be genuinely happy. because of my emotional regulation issues i assumed that even if things had been going particularly well for me at that point it was only a matter of time until something caused me to spiral again. i have spent so much of my life thinking "this is the end, things won't get better from here". but the thing is, now i know that they have gotten better and that they always will.

for as long as i can remember i've seen myself as fragile and in need of protection. but i have been hurt, many times in fact, and none of it ever broke me. so many things that i believed were the worst thing that had ever happened to me happened and yet today i'm still exceedingly content with my life. this is perhaps an extraordinary mundane observation for many people, but i'm realizing i have never been fragile. more things will happen in the future that will hurt me and upset me but i will be fine just like i always have. i'm finally letting myself be happy without worrying what the next thing to set me off will be because i know whatever it is i can handle it.

i feel this might be the most progress i have made in regards to my mental state in a while and i came to this conclusion while walking to an office building. very peculiar! but anyways, i'm very pleased to have put this into words (even if those words are comprehensible only to me), and now it finally makes sense to me why i've felt so at peace the past few months.

p.s. happy holiday season fellow aspergirls

I’m currently trying to find a therapist for depression, anxiety, and challenges of autism like communication and sensory issues. What are some questions to ask a potential new therapist to make sure they’re autism-friendly? What are some red flag responses to look out for? TIA!

My mom forced my interests towards a particular direction since age 3 because she wanted to live vicariously through me.

She used to beat me to make me study till age 10. After age 10 I didn't do as well as before in studies but was still good.

I used to study only those subjects(social sciences) properly aka memorising whole text books. I didn't pay attention towards science but did good anyways.

Later she made me take up science when I wanted to do law and forced me to study the tougher syllabus too when I knew I was burning out and wanted to take up a lighter syllabus.

I burned out in college, am still burned out post graduation too. I used to study last minute but still did well throughout.

Now I have to study for an entrance test, which requires me to study a lot of material and have a good foundation.

I'm feeling especially miserable because I saw how my uncle and aunt truly listen to my cousin and let him decide how to go about studies.

I wish I had a safe home and study environment. I feel I would have felt more human, connected and happy.

Can someone tell me how I can study consistently and enjoy it?

I was thinking this. The common advice when making friends is "don't wait for people to come to you, be proactive and go to people!" but for me, this doesn't seem to work very well. I previously made a post where I sometimes find it hard to tell whether someone is my friend or just being polite, and that is the situation that I seem to end up in when I try to initiate friendship. A lot of the time, when I actively seek someone out and try to be friends with them, they either aren't that interested or the friendship lasts a few months before petering out, or it never goes beyond the acquaintance stage.

Whereas when someone comes to me, and seems interested in getting to know me, it makes me feel like they actually want to be around me. If they were politely tolerating me, they wouldn't be actively seeking me out. I feel assured that they actually like me, and it's much easier.

I feel like I relate to that meme of "introvert that got adopted by extrovert". Does anyone else relate?

All my life I've been friendly, nice and polite. Every single teacher and authority figure has said so, and I believe it too. I say hi to people, I express interest in what they're saying, I help them out when they ask, I don't gossip or insult anyone, even jokingly. I'm a meek, non-confrontational person.

Despite this, all my life, I've either been without friends entirely, or the friends that I did have would exclude me and never contact me unless they needed something from me.

I'm currently in university, volunteering, and working part time. I can't connect with anyone, no matter how positive and upbeat I am towards them. Nobody wants to hang out, nobody is interested in me. Why?

Hi gang! I was curious how frequently others have meltdowns, and if you notice any other patterns with them. I'm at a very early point with my journey, so I'm learning a lot about myself day by day and how to properly manage things I struggle with. I seem to average 1 meltdown every two weeks, and hunger and overtiredness seem to be the base causes. If those two baseline states are in play, my overall stress levels go through the roof and my ability to comprehend any incoming information or sensory stimulus just bugs out, and then a meltdown is upon me.

I'd be interested to know if you have them more or less, if you would consider yourself good at managing your difficulties or not, and anything else you think worth sharing with the rest of us.

Separately, I love this page. There are so many good people here :)

I've always written off noise-canceling headphones because "there's no way they actually work" or "I don't ACTUALLY need them" (even though I am very prone to auditory overload lmao). I got a cheap set for $20 off during Black Friday, and I'm so happy to be wrong. I feel like the world is finally still and I have space to breathe.

We love a win for self accommodations in this household!

I'm late diagnosed autistic (49), and it's only been about a year and a half for me, so I'm still figuring it all out.

My 10 year old is ND, and his latest stim is cracking his knuckles which is triggering for me, big time! The noise of that has always bothered me a lot, when I was a kid, my older brother did it all the time in front of me because he knew it bothered me.

Now my son is doing it, not on purpose, it's just something he started doing because 5th grade is hard. But I can't take the noise and start getting in a bad place myself. I got disregulated from it and yelled at him to stop last night, which makes me feel like a monster, for stopping my kid from stimming. I got him 5 fidget toys to try to get him to do something else around me, which he tries, but it isn't working...anyone have some ideas to help?

I'm wondering if I should apologize for being, not as nice as I usually am with them? Or I don't know, try to explain them why I was behaving like that..? I had decided to abandon all attempts at friendships because of how exhausting it is... But now I feel bad and wish to let them now that they really mean a lot to me and that I didn't meant to hurt them.. But then I keep thinking that they probably haven't even put a second thought on the matter and that is not a big deal for them and that if I bring up the subject they'll say that, and that'll make me feel like I don't matter to them and that will hurt me...

This is probably doesn't make any sense... Sorry. Thanks for any replies.

I was diagnosed in February with autism(at 29) And I'm having the worst time trying to figure out who I am now. The doc that tested me had said I spent my entire life masking and now I feel like I don't even know how to tell what's the mask and what isn't. And occasionally it feels almost like imposter syndrome. I feel like I annoy everyone for acting one way over the other it's frustrating. Has anyone else ever dealt with this? What did you do to stop the confusion?

Anytime I was bullied , lied on , scapegoated etc and I notice everyone would turn against me instead??????? People who were my friends would stop talking to me and ghost me , family would not trust me etc. one people hear one bad thing about me they'll automatically take the word . No one takes my side or defend me . It's so easy for people to turn against me , I can bring them the moon and stars but if one wrong thing THEY don't like me anymore .

we were talking about things that had closed down and i mentioned that the sega arcade had closed down. my friend turns to me and goes “i don’t give a shit about sega”. i’m like… okay. and she continues on to say “i don’t care about sonic the hedgehog, it was just a game i played when i was a kid.”

i was like… alright, i mean yeah, same for me— no, she keeps going on pointedly about how much she dislikes sega.

i’ve known this person for years and i was never outwardly a diehard sega or sonic fan, in fact im not sure i ever mentioned sonic for the entire duration of our friendship nor did i ever post about it or carry any sonic merch. this seemed really weird to me?

i’ve had this scenario happen too many times to count. people will like pointedly tell me something i don’t really care about like it’s going to bother me a lot or like they expect a response. okay, i’ll do you a favor and let that weird out of pocket act go, and just acknowledge it and move on! but then they keep pushing that thing and refuse to register my confusion, casual response, validation, etc.

it’s just really confusing for me bc i thought allistics were fantastic at reading people and stuff but when im just confused and lost when they try and make a “dig” it doesn’t seem to change the fact that they want to make a dig somehow. i thought the point of it was to make the other feel bad but if it clearly isn’t making you feel bad why are they doing this?

its making me very angry and upset as i think about it because i had invited her over and we hadn’t seen each other for a year and i worked very hard to make a pie for all of us while fighting a fever with a mask and gloves. (edit: i mentioned this a few times and she just nodded and said something about how that’s relatable). i told her how much her company is appreciated and was clearly happy for her to be over.

i am tired of making so much effort but then the allistics cannot be bothered to be nice even.

edit: i also don’t know how the fuck i let the other know i didn’t appreciate their behavior without it seeming like im trying to start a fight

I’ve noticed over the years that I will have a discussion with my mom over the phone about something very practical like a recipe or a grocery list, planning for the holidays, etc. And then, as soon as I turn the conversation toward something even slightly deep, all of a sudden she’s got to go because she’s busy. She will, however have long deeper conversations with other people including my siblings.

I think I may have some issues about this because I always try to exit and get off the phone before the other person “has to go” (I want to leave them before they have a chance to leave me). Also it usually hurts my feelings if someone talks and talks and goes on and on and then all of a sudden they’re like “ well, let me go, I have to go do…” because they were the one talking, but they made it sound like my fault for keeping them.

Just wondering if anyone else experiences things like this on phone conversations.

I live directly next to a playground, can hear the kids like they're in my living room. It's usually very joyful even if I'm overstimulated, the little laughs are nice to hear. Lately this lady has been bringing her offleash dog and letting it pee on the playground equipment while she talks on speakerphone for an hour.

So, I was out for my walk, and I worked up the nerve to approach her kindly. I gently said that dogs in playgrounds are against the law and unhygienic for the kids. It didn't occur to me that she'd get up and try to attack me. I should have called the cops, but after I started running away, she was screaming crazy stuff at me and calling me all sorts of names. I told her to HAVE A NICE DAY.

Lol whyyyy was that my choice. I thought maybe I'd call the non emergency police line but I got inside and saw that she was finally leaving. Man I wish I'd gotten the manual on how to be a human.

Please laugh with me about telling her to have a nice day. I don't have any go to insults, because I don't normally insult people I guess.

I am an autistic female. I chatted with this autistic guy online and I really liked him. But he purposely ghosted me for days when I was busy in real life to respond. I responded 2 hours later when he sent me a message. And then he said I had to do something to make it up to him. I said I was sorry and it was only 1 time. Then he called me insults.

By embellish, I mean making your feelings sound deeper, stronger, or more poetic than they really are — saying “You’re the prettiest person I’ve ever seen” instead of “You’re so attractive,” or “I want to be with you forever” instead of “I think we have a good future together, short-term or long-term,” for example.

If I told someone I want to be with them forever, I’d feel like I’m lying because I can’t picture a relationship lasting forever, and there’s always the chance of things happening — us breaking up, seeing other people, etc. It feels like an empty promise. But neurotypicals who don’t struggle with metaphorical language or understanding feelings use these phrases all the time, without meaning them literally. It’s more about their own experience than what’s actually happening, and they don’t feel deceived. It’s more like pretend play than lying.

So, how can you tell if, when you’re hyping your partner up, you’re being sincere when you use figurative language?

I’ll be honest, I’ve never been great at being that amazing family member, friend, or girlfriend. I’m not great with social cues and I’m even worse at reading subtly. I try to be 100% for everyone but often someone is neglected or I neglect myself. It’s been even worse because my psych switched me from adderall to vyvanse and it made me so sick. For 2 weeks I couldn’t sleep, eat, I had migraines, nausea, was shaking, was having anxiety attacks, and got really depressed. In that time I also needed to sort out thanksgiving plans.

So I am trying to figure out thanksgiving while not being myself. Work is particularly busy and stressful so I wasn’t able to take a full week off like I’d planned, just the 3 days my office is closed. I live in a city 2 hours from my family and 4 hours from my boyfriend. I was invited to my boyfriend’s grandmas for thanksgiving. His sister who lives abroad was going and I really wanted to meet her. I planned to spend Wednesday evening to Friday with him and Saturday through Monday morning with my parents. My family didn’t have plans for thanksgiving. My parents are divorced (although we do holiday dinners together), my brother is a first responder and had to work in a different city so he couldn’t go, and my sister has BPD and is no contact at the moment. We planned to do a big Christmas since my brother has it off and will be living in our hometown again.

My bf and I have been arguing more during the medication shift because my emotions have been a lot higher. I have some built up resentment because he planned a trip to visit his mom (who wouldn’t be attending thanksgiving) and didn’t invite me. We’ve been together almost 3 years and he’s visited her multiple times without inviting me. Sometimes his brother and sister who live abroad would be there too. I told him last time he went that I would really like to be invited next time because I want to meet his mom and siblings. He seemed excited about it but then a few weeks ago said he’d be going down there and didn’t invite me. I have been kind of passive aggressive about it, which is an ugly color on me. Normally I would write down a script and do the feeling-behavior-impact style when I want to address something, but instead I was saying stuff like “yeah I wish you’d invite me to go” or “it’d be nice to meet your mom” with a passive aggressive tone. I feel like no resolution has come from that, other than his mom saying on speaker phone that she wants him to bring me. So yes it’s a resolution but it’s not him inviting me because he wanted to.

Anyway I have plans to spend those days with my boyfriend and then head to my hometown which is 2 hours closer to where I live. I didn’t invite my boyfriend to stay at my mom’s because his sister was only in town through the weekend and they don’t see each other often. My boyfriend and mom also don’t get along well, my mom has a tendency to be really rude and passive aggressive towards me (my appearance, life choices, hopes and dreams) and my relationship with my boyfriend and it really annoys him. I actually lived with my mom for a few months last year and my boyfriend rarely visited because he didn’t want to hang out with my mom. At thanksgiving dinner I find out his sister actually moved back to the US and was going to be staying for a few months. Of course I didn’t automatically think to invite him to come home with me for the next few days, it was the next afternoon. Idk what vyvanse did to me but my brain is broken, I’ve never struggled to think this much. The next morning his friend calls and and was just dumped and wants to go to the casino 3 hours away and despite my bf saying he would rather spend the day with me (it’s Friday so we already planned to spend that day together) he says he can’t get out of it. So I go to my moms and make up a lie about vyvanse frying my brain (she’s a psych nurse so she understands the challenges of switching meds) and not realizing my bf had a hunting trip with his dad. My bfs step mom also called as I was packing inviting us over for dinner with his sister and my bf told them I had to go see my family, even though I’d told them I was leaving Saturday. So I lied to my family so avoid passive aggressive comments from my mom and took the fall so my bf didn’t have to tell his family he was going to a casino.

Tonight my boyfriend was saying he misses me and wishes he was there. I felt so guilty for not inviting him and apologized profusely, but I’m not sure if he’s mad.

My mom was sad that she spent thanksgiving alone. She’s a nurse and my brother is an emt so we’ve done holidays on the wrong days many times in my life. We don’t have holiday traditions just getting together for a meal and a movie. She said she almost invited herself to my bfs family’s dinner, so now I feel guilty for not asking if my parents could come. Our families have never met because we all live in different cities. I also feel ignored at my bfs family gatherings. I’ve been to a handful and often no one talks to me. I feel invisible so I don’t feel comfortable inviting people to a dinner where I don’t feel welcomed. We did get an extra evening together which is good, but now I may need to go back early. I work in low-level HR and no one told me a new employee was starting on Monday, when I planned to be off. I manage all new hire orientation so I can’t miss Monday. I may still leave really early Monday and hope I get back by 8, because my mom is really sad about me leaving early.

I hate that everyone has told me I’ve disappointed them in some way the last few days. I wish I had a job where I could actually take PTO - I even had to work when I went with my mom to visit my grandpa. I wish I could live in the big, fun city that I love while also not being so far away from my family and boyfriend. And most of all I wish people would straight up tell me what I can do to make them happy. I don’t use my Audhd diagnosis as an excuse, but I wish my family and bf would consider it when they expect me to do all the coordination and be a good daughter and girlfriend.

I don’t know what support I need, I just feel like I haven’t been able to do anything right in my relationships.

Does anyone one struggle with decision making? When I was a kid I would always do what people older than me said but now well into adulthood I cant figure it out. I feel like I’m constantly struggling between being comfortable, forcing myself to be an happier , “ideal”, presumably more NT version of myself, and then just doing what those around me prefer even if it’s unlike me at all since i can’t decide on my own.

For example: I don’t socialize well and naturally don’t push to make friends. There is one side of me saying it doesn’t matter too much. Then there’s another saying I would feel more normal having friends. People have told me I need to put myself out there and join a club (I’m in uni) . However when I did this led to a very shallow, transactional, and somewhat hierarchical group of friends? ( can I even call it friendship??, idk)

But this analogy can be applied to all the important aspects of my life. Career, relationships, self expression, etc

How do I fix this? I feel it is stunting my own growth.

Hi! Im married to a wonderful man and have a one year old son. Since we met, I told him about my sensory issues because I have been dealing with it my whole life and it has been hard for me. He’s been always supportive about that but he does things that overstimulate me over and over. When I get overstimulated I tend to hit the wall and seat down in the bathroom until I’m calmed. When that happens, he always come and apologize and says to me that he didn’t mean it which I know he didn’t but he doesn’t stop doing it. I don’t know what else to do but I hate this and I feel it is making me think I need to be alone if I want to leave a peaceful life.

Any advice would be appreciated!!

So I've been applying for jobs, and I hate those freaking personality quizzes. I answered how I thought I was suppose to answer them. Saying I am extroverted, that I love to go above and beyond for the company, that I love working in groups etc. etc. Only for it to tell me I failed, and that I couldn't continue on with the job application. Sigh, usually it takes a few days before I get the automatic rejection email. I seriously have no clue how to answer those questions! I thought I was doing what they wanted LOL.

Not going to go into too many details, but I saw a guy last year for a few months who was super into me and was kind to me after I got out of a very abusive relationship with someone else. He helped to pull me out of one of the most painful times of my life. I fell in love with him, but then took a pause last year because I needed more time to heal. He told me to come back when I was ready to build something.

We reconnected this year a few months ago and I thought it went well. He told me before he didn’t like texting/calling so we had been sending each other music via Spotify before, basically love letters. We started making each other playlists, very detailed and complex playlists that were undoubtedly correspondence to each other. (I swear I confirmed that he would share things that were direct responses to what I shared, it was not just me sharing things). We did this daily for months and months. I tried to communicate otherwise and he kept telling me to communicate with playlists only and that it was “the same” - until we could see each other again.

Then I saw him this week in person for the first time in a long time (he lives in another state) and he told me that none of it was real, that I’d imagined it all. I felt completely delusional and insane, I have been doubting my entire reality and feel utterly pathetic and like this is all because I can’t understand clear social cues, let alone fucking vague playlist messages. But when I went back and looked at everything once I’d calmed down, there’s no way it could have been all imagined. It’s just too detailed. And he would respond sometimes within an hour. Create playlists that referenced personal connections between us, places we’d been, things I do, remixes of my favorite songs, we’d send back and forth the same artists, covers of the same songs, etc. I know he is gaslighting me. I feel like he played me like a fiddle to get attention, validation, etc from a far, but as soon as it was real it was like he was a different person.

It broke my heart into a million pieces to see him look into my eyes and gaslight and lie to me. I’m not proud of my actions, but he really made me believe he loved me. And then said it was all in my head. I feel like he is using my neurodivergence against me and Im just feeling totally hopeless to ever find true love because I really thought he was the one and he said it so many times.

Please be kind, it’s been an awful day. I’ve also been having terrible, serious physical health problems on top of this and just trying to find reasons to still want to exist.

Edit: additional context from a comment I left in another sub

I’ve never experienced this style of gaslighting before and honestly I haven’t ever fallen so hard for someone before (even though I’ve been in several 3+ year relationships before). This guy knew how to say exactly what I wanted/needed to hear to make me fall oh so deeply in love with him. I do believe he loved me, truly, but I don’t think he knows how to be in love in reality.

The more I have talked to others about it the last 48 hours the less insane I feel, but phew, it’s been extremely difficult to accept and understand because he led me on so perfectly and in such a specific and detailed way that it felt insane to NOT believe it. I mean, who could spend that much time finding songs that say the exact words that were relevant to what we were sharing? Experiencing? He would reference the most obscure word in something I shared and then share songs back that had it in it - that were also topically relevant. It seemed almost magical, which is why I believed it because they were not just popular songs (someone has suggested he was using AI). Ex. I’d share some obscure jazz song from the 40s, then he would share a different song from the 90s that sampled it. (One of MANY types of examples).

It even got to the point where we reshared the same songs over and over because they began to have their own meaning. Like “this song means “xyz”” - we developed this over a long period of time. This was not just me being like “oh this guy I liked shared a love song and it must be for me!” Because I know initially it could sound that way. But imagine two autistic people with music special interests who make playlists with 1000+ songs regularly, begin to start making playlists for each other — this was a love language to us. Which makes him denying it all the more painful.

OH, and the cherry on top? He is a former relationship coach who hosted a podcast about male vulnerability and emotional intelligence.

I am exhausted all of the time. No matter how good I sleep, if I get tons of rest, work out, don’t drink at all, eat well, get plenty of alone time, nothing seems to help.

I got to a pretty high level of burnout this year from finding out about my Autism and in turn figuring out I was being taken advantage of majorly at work. I did find and start a new job three months ago and it is better in a lot of ways.

The only struggle is that it’s 4/10s which is great because I use the extra weekend day to rest, but my work day is 5:30-3:30 and by the end of Thursday I am beyond tired. I just spend my weekend sleeping and resting as much as a I can. I’m also not able to get myself to be the “High Performer” I was deemed at my last job. I just go in do my work and go home. I’m not as on top of it or able to seek out network connections and I can’t draft a detailed email to save my life it’s all bare bones straight to the point.

I can’t say this is a life I want to live. If I want to be a high performer at work and have a rich social life with a lot of activity it comes at a cost because I get can’t function level of tired. It also comes with a lot of guilt because when I’m exhausted I get over emotional and I also don’t do as much with my friends and they want to see me. I still see everyone but it’s not every week like they would like it to be. I also can’t handle being in charge so stuff. Like my friends husband asked me to make a dinner reservation for her birthday party. Her party is already a bunch of strangers that will be taxing for me as it’s hard to mask at all right now and I don’t want the added pressure of things for dinner not going according to plan so I told him I don’t want to be in charge. I just want to show up as a guest.

I don’t remember it being this way to this degree before the burn out.

Just wondering how long until it gets better.

Does anyone else have the experience where they are masking and it's like in those movies where the pressure inside a boiler or something gets too high and all the rivets or bolts start popping out and all the stuff that is inside just starts gushing out? Not anger, but just my body starts shaking, I cry a lot and talk a lot sometimes really fast, I can't be touched by others unless it's my husband, I want to hit myself but only I think like I'm trying to wake myself up, and it just lasts as long as it lasts.

What do you call that? I've always called it a meltdown, but I know it's not what others call a meltdown but it feels like it's coming from the same place. Like it's just an internally directed version of the same thing. Implosion doesn't seem quite right, because it definitely comes "out" and it is so physically exhausting and overwhelming.

Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

I have a relative who is coming to stay with me for 3 weeks during their Christmas holiday. My problem is that they are a chainsmoker and I literally feel like there's an ashtray in my mouth if I even get a whiff of cigarette smoke. I love this relative very much and do want them to stay. Is there a way for us both to compromise? We have a small balcony but they might feel unwanted if that's the only area they can smoke. Has anyone else had a similar problem before? Thanks for any help!!

People tend to be very controlling over my life and think I should do what they want me to and follow paths that they think is right! And if I don't they act like I'm doing something wrong . They tend to be possessive as if they own me or something. It's really weird and hard to explain. Happens with family , friends , managers etc! ( don't need emotional support didn't kno what flair to add)

I'm in a post-secondary program and my cohort is fairly small. It's our first semester and we're just now getting comfortable with one another. We have classes five days a week so we spend a LOT of time together. In a way, it feels like we've been together for years. However, I haven't spent any time hanging out with anyone outside of class, since I'm quite busy and assume everyone else is too (at this point in the semester we're all just talking about how tired we are and most people go right home when the day is over).

There's one person in my class who I'm interested in. As a friend or maybe something else, I'm not sure yet. I sit with them and a few other people in class, and we've worked on some group projects together. Most of our conversations have been about school, and we haven't talked much just the two of us. I've started sending them memes on Instagram and they've been reciprocating. I feel more comfortable talking to them over text than in person, just because there are always other people around us and I get quite nervous. At some point, I want to ask them out, maybe for coffee or to a museum. They've suggested to the class that we go out all together at some point, so the seeds have already been planted for a group hangout. I don't want to come off too strong, especially because we already see so much of each other and I don't want things to get awkward in class. How can I make it clear that I want to get to know them on a personal level instead of as a "casual classmate"? I'm thinking it's good to keep messaging them, just to let them know I'm interested in talking to them about things other than school. I'm just scared of trying to approach them more in person because I feel like it'd be so obvious that I have a bit of a crush, and being around my other classmates just adds to the nerves. I feel like I'm a shy anxious high schooler again 😭

Basically the title. I noticed that I struggle to tell when I am getting tired. I only realize I'm tired in hindsight, after my tiredness has caused me actual issues.

For example, I drove right into a parking bollard a few days ago. In hindsight, I was exhausted and should have taken a few minutes to rest in my car before driving but I didn't. Only after the whole incident happen did I analyze it and realize, "oh, I was tired". Today I drove straight past the entrance to my building. Took a good few minutes to realize that and only later I realized that I did that because I am tired. Sometimes I lose my temper at my mum for things that otherwise won't trigger me, and when I look back, I realized that I was tired. Sometimes I make mistakes at work because I was working when tired, but I had no realization that I was tired. I got unjustifiably pissed at a friend and laid a guilt trip on them for something that I normally would have understood - because I was tired after days of moving.

All of these (and many more) made me realize that I don't really know when I am tired. This lack of awareness really negatively affects my finances, my work, my relationships. I only realize it cognitively (hours or even days later) that 'oh I was actually tired during so-and-so event'. Anybody else have this issue?

I want to be able to identify this feeling sooner so I can rest before actually damaging things happen, but how? Do you have any personal tips, tricks, strategies for identifying when you are tired?

Edited to add: I selected the burnout flair because I didn't know what else to pick. I don't mean to ask about how to tell when in burnout. I'm asking about the stage that comes before burnout, which is tiredness. Thank you!

I feel so pathetic that it’s affecting me so badly, but I was watching a show that has developed into a special interest of mine. A series Regular just left the show & her exit was very melancholic. I’m seeing the parallels of her leaving to my life; without getting too into it my mother is moving many states away from me for work & I’m realizing she doesn’t really care what happens to me while she’s gone. By the time I was born she was exhausted by being a mother & kinda just gave up on making sure I developed important life skills, morals, or confidence in myself. I had to do all those things myself. I still don’t know who I am. & now that I’m at a the age that I can technically be by myself, she sees that as her ticket to get out & live her own life, even though I’m still young & have so much left to learn. & I can’t go to my father for that stuff either since our relationship is just as complicated So I’m on my own. Everyone always leaves & inthr end you’ll be alone in life. That’s what this series has taight me. & I Guess that could be a good things & a bad thing.

The character also deserved better. She was a very smart, apt girl & had such a bright future but she kinda threw away her education. She told only told one of her classmates she was leavig because she didn’t want anyone to worry about her or be sad about her leaving. That makes me so sad. She deserved to be celebrated for being a great friend & helping her companions through tough times. I’m so upset. I can’t stop crying & hitting myself. I keep getting heat flashes and I absolutely hate heat or feeling hot I feel like I can’t escape my own body. This character isn’t even my favorite but it feels like there’s a gaping hole in my chest. Like someone’s punched through it. I’m so sad. & the music playing at the moment she left just feels like exactly like how life’s been feeling. Just so grey. In the past episodes when a series regular leaves, there’s usually a whole party thrown for their character & we see the cast say goodbye to each other & congratulate that person. But this character didn’t get any of that. I’m so angry at the writers. Why did they do this. The show is so old made way before I was even born but still how could the writers do this.

I don’t think I can watch the next episode since I know this show well enough that I can already predict that her absence won’t be acknowledged despite how much of a good friend she was to a lot of the characters. I know I’m being ridiculous but I can’t help it it feels like I’ve personally lost a friend even though she’s not real.

Me*haven't had special interests for a long time* :(