First of all, I do like the idea of spreading awareness and sensitization, but on several platforms (especially tiktok) there are way too much people who profit from creating general “relatable” content and flag it as autism. I am in fact talking about diagnosed people, who just don’t see the weight of their content. They recieve love and support from various people, while sugarcoating the truth.

1. They profit off of a self-made personality-based brand that claims to be strictly autistic, but is just widely relatable, funny content. Misinformation, misleading several groups of people, especially teenagers

2. Using autism as a buzzword decreasing our struggles into nothing, and making autism in itself seem like just a quirky, funny personality trait. I’ve met more self-diagnosed autistic irl than there are stars in the universe.

3. Even though they have maybe a little less then millions of followers, they still try their hardest to forward an authentic image, not adressing enough, that it is now just a brand and they have multiple partnerships that push them to make content for a living (This is the most annoying one, because actual autistic people might not pick up on that tiny bit of detail and judge their own characters and how they come across wrongly, which can make them even less likely to adapt to their circumstances)

4. Because the content is so broad, mixed and personal (but it’s relatable ending in lots of views, making it seem autistic people agree, when most of the engagement is from allistic) , it makes people think every struggle of theirs is linked to their autism, when, in fact, autism is comorbid (especially when late diagnosed) with some mental illnesses, that we can develop on the way like bpd, ocd and stuff, that would otherwise need deeper introspection and personalized therapy.

What do you think?

I’m sat here, quite content, reading a fantasy novel about a witch who makes delicious food and it’s making me think about how difficult life is, or how difficult our society has made it. I can barely manage to clean my flat in amongst working part time and studying part time, never mind cook nutritious and delicious food for myself! This is a light-hearted ramble about how tough ‘life admin’ is, so please don’t think I’m in a pit of despair, I just wish life was a little more gentle. I can’t help but think that an increase in money, as much as we’re told it doesn’t matter, would have a direct and positive influence over how I feel, and so I’m reminded how limited my options are in changing my circumstances. I could work more, but I’d be a husk of myself mentally and I don’t even want to think about where that could lead, and that’s about it for options! I’m training to enter into a career which will increase my income, but at the same time I’m aware it may well burn me out swiftly, so that’s a little paralysing. I’d also love to learn how to drive, but I don’t even know if I’m capable of it! Really my dream is to do a job that brings me a sense of fulfilment and community, earns enough that I can explore my interests and have enough time to potter, and won’t leave me exhausted. I just wonder if that’s possible. As for driving, I just want to be free to wander at my whim and leisure! Does anyone else feel similarly?

After a lifetime of struggles, health issues and what now feels like permanent burnout, I finally got an adult autism diagnosis last year.

After learning this I've decided not to have kids, because I know that I will never truly have the capacity to care for them.

I'm fine with this decision but still can't help but feel like the future seems bleak and empty. What do I do with my life? Will I ever get out of the crippling burnout I'm in? Etc.

Whenever I see friends reaching milestones and having kids I can't help but feel a deep sadness, even though I know my decision is right for me.

Can anyone else relate? How do you cope?

Thanks for any advice, just feeling really low right now ❤️

Asking as a fresh grad with a teaching degree who now finds it too overstimulating to pursue as a career 🥹

First of all, sarcasm is the national language.

Also, I feel like socializing is a lot more harsher here than in the states? Many British people I know make fun of Americans for being overly expressive and dramatic, while Britons are more subtle and deadpan and pessimistic, the humour is dark and detached, and if anyone is too happy they’re presumed to be not very bright.

I noticed that growing up in an American school you could get by being extra nice and optimistic (might border on fawning, but it still made you likeable in general), but there’s such a huge difference here.

It’s also just a little bit of a depressing place to live as is, there’s practically no sun in the winter and even the summers are cold- as a tropical girl that does me in.

But mostly it’s the social difficulty. Does anyone else feel this? How do you cope? I’m lucky I can hole myself in with my boyfriend, but I really do want more of a social life.

1. Had the worst day ever for reasons I don't wanna share
2. 2 days ago, i got sent the most un-autistic friendly break up text ever encrypted with hidden meaning, contradicting statements and absolute ambiguity that my NT friends couldn't figure out. Not to mention... its a break up
3. I'm tired, in physical and emotional pain, stressed, social battery in the negatives and confused

So when my friends texts "how was your day" I say "horrible" and explain how I was treated like sht all day. I didn't even mention the break up because i think people are tired of hearing it. I dunno, maybe I was just supposed to say "fine" but like... i don't have the ability to even pretend to be fine anymore. All week I was struggling, I told myself "im not okay, but I will be!" THEN AT THE END OF THE WEEK I WAS BROKEN UP WITH. Today was the most emotionally draining day ever. Anyway, one friend barely comments at all, in fact kinda blames me for getting myself into the situation where things were horrible (some sorta volunteering thing where the plan got flipped on its head which sucked) and the other... f**ing ignored it???? Like WHY ASK??? I have no one to talk to. I miss my ex. Well actually idk if hes an ex bc the text was genuinely confusing asf.

Anyway, haha, imma just not talk to anyone apparently... idk... i feel like a burden. Like... ugh.

Hey fellow aspies :)

I’m 31/F and late diagnosed with Level 1 ASD. I understand the term Aserger’s is being phased out but I still may use it interchangeably.

Long story short, the family conversations have not gone well. One family member said that it was bs and there’s no way I’m here because I’m too intelligent to have Autism.

Another — after sharing with him — accepted it but once I began to unmask regularly, this included setting social boundaries and he told me that I was using it as a crutch and that HE felt like “us going out was not going to bother me like I feel like it is”

Another — my parent — just acknowledged it and said they wanted to learn more and when I send more, it’s nothing. (They were an absent parent and I will say I was very excited when I received my diagnosis so I was eager to share)

I’m now at the point where I’m over them and don’t wish to be around them or communicate with them anymore because I refuse to be in places that overstimulate me, I don’t need anyone making snide remarks about my failure to make eye contact or stimming or just anyone making me feel uncomfortable about.

Any advice on how to deal with family that is unaccepting or downplays your neurospicy?

Trigger Warning : verbal child abuse

My mother would call me the r slur a lot and looking back I think she sensed my autism and hated that about me and as a result my masking went super deep like I didnt just pretend to be "normal" around other people I would do it internally I really actively deleted a lot of my personality to "be normal". She was an abusive shitty person anyway but me being "too autistic" (she would have said wierd or the r slur) would trigger some of her most messed up behaviors.I could really relate to the babadook movie that was our dynamic.Can anyone relate?

In my assessment the fact that I would only read one comic series for 3 years over and over was part of what got me diagnosed and this spans through all the media I consume.I know every episode of my favorite podcast off by heart.I do enjoy that but its also limiting and boring sometimes.I wish finding/experincing new media wasnt such a chore because its really good for me to experience new things and I enjoy it but its really hard to give new podcasts/songs/audiobooks/books/movies a chance cause my brain just wants to re experience the old ones.

I found a loophole where I can watch different zombie movies cause they have similar structures/plot beats and they allways have zombies which I enjoy but its the only loophole.

In every job I've ever had I always feel out of place and like people don't like me. At my current job it's a little less of no one likes me a more that only specific preexisting people seem to get encouraged or shouted out for the things they do. It's not that I haven't tried. I work my butt of to try and get noticed but no one ever shouts out my efforts like they do for other people. I've been told I'm doing a good job and encouraged for things but it just feels like only certain people get shout outs and never others. I've noticed I don't get recognition or anything like that in other jobs either and it's definitely not just this one. Maybe I just care too much what others think honestly. Do you guys have a similar experience?

This is a new one for me. It’s been a very tough week and I’ve had the urge for the past few days to just hit my head really hard repeatedly—either with my hands or just on something hard. Now, I don’t want to do that because I’d be hurting myself and know I can get help. Thankfully it is easy for me to refrain from doing so.

I need the sensation of something hard hitting my head without it being harmful somehow. I’ve tried using music with a heavy beat as well as trying a shower, but nothing seems to relieve that “itch”. I’m thinking maybe a leather cushion might be a good start. Does anyone have any tips?

Hey guys! I follow the group and share many thoughts here. Yesterday the culmination was in a meeting, where I had the idea - which gave me a lot of relief - of not looking at everyone at the same time while my co-worker presented her project, as this is common but I feel like I can't look at anyone else. person other than the one who is speaking, because I will think that all the micro expressions say something and that something is about me, usually about how they don't like me and are criticizing me in their thoughts for something that I have experienced at that stage. My God, I feel exhausted. Before, I left the screen on my camera to have control over what interaction I would receive, but then I saw that this was getting bad in terms of self-reference and I had this idea of ​​making a deal with myself and NOT LOOKING. When I have difficulty with the person speaking, I switch screens and stare at the desktop, paying attention but without the sensory overload of vision. I can't have the camera off in meetings… company policy. At the end, I feel like I can relax my shoulder again and I feel exhausted.

I’ve been having a real problem with my mental health for what feels like a really dumb reason. See, I love cartoons; they’re kind of a blanket hyper fixation, with me getting fixated on a different one every couple of months. I was always hesitant to get into Arcane because I heard how sad it was. But because of the second season I gave it a try. Obviously I got really sad because of the content, but now I’m hyper-fixated on it. If it was something like The Last of Us 2, I could watch it and be done. But Arcane and League of Legends has lots of characters that I really love and obsess over. I love Jinx and Viktor and find them both really relatable, and I want to see them happy. I want to write and read fan content where they are. The animation and music are amazing and always draw me in. But engaging with the content of the show keeps reminding me of all the really sad stuff in it instead and it’s making me sick. With Arcane I cannot shake the foreboding feeling of sadness. Like depressing shit is gonna happen to all these characters. It almost feels like I’m grieving a real person, and then I feel so stupid for letting a cartoon have that effect on me. Some other shows have had this effect on me in the past, like Code Geass and the Clone Wars. But it doesn’t happen to me with every sad piece of media, like I was fie with Madoka Magica and Princess Tutu. I wonder what the real reason I’m angry is? I just don’t like what Arcane is trying to “teach” me? And I hate that everyone is praising it when I don’t wanna learn it? Like when I was a kid and an adult would try to get me to do something good for me and I refused out of stubbornness after a while? Maybe that’s part of it, but maybe it’s still just that it’s sad. It’s that in shows Like Code Geass and Clone Wars and Arcane the characters sacrifice things that they can never get back. Things change in the story and they’re not all happy together in the end. And I don’t like change. I like when everyone is happy together and nothing too big is lost and there aren’t huge changes. And I hate myself for being such a baby. I feel like I’m driving my friends and family crazy because I keep complaining about something so unimportant, but I can’t stop feeling sad.

Does anyone else ever have this problem with fiction? What is the healthy thing to do here? How can I make myself move on or not let the show make me sad?

TL;DR: Arcane is just a tv show but it made me very very sad and I feel bad and crazy for letting it affect me like this.

Hey! I chew a lot and my nails and teeth are suffering because of it, but I still need the stimulation. I’ve been looking into chewelry for a bit but am a bit overwhelmed with all the choices. I just want something that will be nice and chewy without being to difficult and also doesn’t look bad. Preferably it would be nice if most of it could fit in my mouth so I can chew on it without it hanging out. Thanks in advance!

Hello there ladies. So to get to the point: I wasn't diagnosed until I was 32 (38 now) and I was raised by parents that put extreme perfectionistic pressures on me to succeed, and to always be productive.

After many, many instances of burnout I ended up seeking an evaluation and was diagnosed as Autistic.

Since then I keep trying to reenter the workforce but time and time again I take on too much and start to get overwhelmed and overloaded again. Time and time again, I have proven to myself, painfully, that I can't take on as much as most neurotypicals, and end up tanking my mental health. I'll take some time off (usually takes about 6 months to a year to recover), then feel better, then I do it all over again lol. Then I feel guilt and shame about quitting or burning out.

Anyway, I know I'm not alone here and that this is pretty common among us. So my question is, if you are late diagnosed, how do you ACCEPT that you just can't do as much as everyone else without feeling shame and without pressuring yourself to do more? I'd love advice because it's a bitter pill to swallow.

Thanks so much for reading!

Hi there! Today I had some stuff planned with my parents (some errands and such) and when I woke up (a bit later than usual because I slept poorly) but still earlier than the time we had agreed to leave and turns out they had already gone to do the things we were supposed to do together.

I didn’t need anything important, really but it frustrated me so much because we had plans and they didn’t go through with them. I couldn’t explain to them how frustrating and distressing it was for me that they did that because it’s not like I really needed something or really wanted to do errands, it’s the fact that there was a plan and it wasn’t even respected (which logically I know it’s my inflexibility but emotionally I can’t help but react to these things). And they kept asking me what I needed and why did I want to go to the shops so much and such and I couldn’t answer those questions because it wasn’t about that, it was about the plans.

Anyway, I’m wondering if any of you struggle with explaining things to others too.

I am incredibly bad at remembering names, even if I can clearly remember a person's face, where we met, and what we talked about. It's so bad I'll blank on the names of people I've known for years. It's particularly bad for foreign names that I'm not used to hearing. Does anyone else struggle with this and if so, have you figured out hacks or coping mechanisms?

First of all, I just want to say that I am so glad to have found online communities of other women who relate to me.

Like many other autistic women, I have struggled with a lifetime of people disliking me, mainly other women, upon first impressions without ever really being able to provide adequate explanations. I’m not saying that I’ve ever done anything wrong to ever warrant people disliking me, I’m talking about those who barely even know me who have had irrational scorn towards me. Some have even gone so far as to make up flat-out lies about me to justify their feelings towards me to my friends and family.

For example, I had one girl text my friend and claim that I hadn’t even said hello to her at a party when I’d had a long conversation with her about her degree/career plan.

I had another girl, also a friend of a friend, drive me home and we talked and laughed the whole ride home. She then proceeded to tell my friend that I was on my phone the whole time and did not speak to her.

In both of these instances, I was under the impression that I’d gotten along with both of these girls just fine.

My own AUNT, of all people, took me out shopping one day. My card had declined at the cash register, and, as I was going to put back my products, my aunt swiped her card and paid for my purchases, saying, “It’s alright, darling. Don’t worry about it.” I was quite a bit younger at the time and was an unemployed, broke student. What she told my parents of the incident was that I stood at the cash register just looking at her, waiting for her to pay for me.

I've heard a lot of people say oh, you are just shy but once you get to know somebody you'll open up.

In my case it's the opposite. I only tolerate my coworkers. The longer I've known them for, and the more I have to cooperate with them, the worse our relationship gets. Starting from mildly irritating to obviously poor.

I’ve never posted here before so please bear with me, this is all very new for me.

I recently had a conversation where in the conversation the person simply asked “what kind” in regard to the food I was making. I followed up with “what do you mean? Brand or what is in them?” Then answered both of those in the same text. I was told “do you realize when you do the autistic thing? It’s obnoxious.” Is asking follow up questions to fully better understand the conversation obnoxious? Is that not a proper way to have a conversation and insure we both are on the same page? I ask a lot of follow up questions like this, just to be sure I understand everything correctly in conversations and I overly explain to try to prevent issues. Any advice on what I did wrong here would be greatly appreciated!

So im 17 and i got diagnosed 3 days ago. I feel like I’m going insane and my entire self image is shattered. Not that I really could describe who I was before, when someone asked me I would always laugh awkwardly and say “I don’t really know” But now that I’m diagnosed I genuinely just have no idea who i am, what I think about my diagnosis or what to even do with myself. I feel like I have been in a daze these past few days while also having an entire identity crisis while my emotions are extremely heightened. Does anyone have any advice on how to snap out of it, what to do with myself, how to process this change or how to feel like a person again?

Honestly I'm asking. I'm 31 years old, live alone, and it's like I can barely take care of anything else outside of my full time job. During the week everything goes to hell. Chores go undone. Dishes pile up. I feel like work saps all of my energy and executive functioning to where all I can do after work is eat, take a bath and go to bed. I don't even have energy for my hobbies anymore and it's depressing.

What can I do?

I’ve been digging deep and trying to crack the code as to why I get so much seemingly random animosity from people. Although some of it is just “you’re weird, I don’t like you,” I think there’s times when I give off cues that NT people would perceive as dislike of them personally, when it’s truly just me being awkward or insecure.

Does anyone else relate or have anything to add to this?

So I know for a fact that this is quite an autistic mindset (I’ve not been diagnosed).

But I go to some hobby groups, like an exercise class and a singing class. It will “officially” start at a set time, like 6pm. But sometimes the first 20-30 minutes are usually filled with chit chatting, and the leaders of the group kinda bantering with each other and taking pictures etc. And I will just be stood there, impatiently waiting because I want to just start with the activity lol.

It reminds me of being in high school when we’d be reading a book as a class, and it would sometimes take the whole lesson to read only one page, because people kept messing about. It was frustrating lol.

And it occurred to me that while autistic people are usually primarily there for the particular activity, NT people often see the socialising just as important as the activity (sometimes even more).

With this in mind, I’m trying to a bit be more patient because I do want friends and to be friendly with people, but it can be hard lol. Anyway, I’m sure others relate! Just thought I’d share

I’ve been in a deep state of self reflection lately since it honestly takes me SO long to process situations and my feelings. Im realizing how often I have honestly forced myself to have a crush on someone or I fall into this limerence or obsessive thinking cycle despite not really wanting anything with them. I just want to feel seen and have a sense of belonging which for some reason I can usually only feel when its romantic or a very close friendship. I find myself confusing attachment for feelings for them. In reality I can be a bit distant and to myself a lot but I also hate this lonely isolated feeling.

For example recently this guy im friends with but we dated a few years ago… he called me beautiful recently and was complimenting me and stuff and I guess i got mixed signals because the feeling of “want” came back just because I felt like he saw me. He was acting super excited wanting to meet up and making plans. I think it was last year he asked if we’d ever be a thing again. I guess he got over that when Im just now processing that. I told him i still have feelings for him and unresolved emotions to our past and told him i will be giving him space & distance out of respect for our friendship and for him because he doesnt feel the same. He was understanding. It makes me feel so weird and creepy and I hate it. I wish i never even told him that because I now realize I just wanted connection.. not HIM… i do this so often and end up in stupid situations…. Lately its been worse because im feeling depressed this time of year. I can feel myself driving myself crazy with this ive been in such a huge ruminating cycle. Im planning on explaining this to my friend and apologizing but i hate that I made him victim of that breakdown i had or whatever and I hate how I can never be sure if im feeling romantic feelings towards someone or if im just wanting to break this bubble ive been in my whole life feeling like an alien and separate from everyone else in the world.

I know this is just not healthy and I am doing grounding and mindful practices now. Its just so embarrassing…. It feels so obvious that other people see I dont belong and im trying desperately to feel “love”. I get hit on often and asked on dates but for some reason I focus on someone who absolutely doesnt want anything romantic with me.

I agreed to a date, I’m excited and want to get out of my comfort zone; but I’m also worried bc I don’t know what to expect. I’m worried that there will be awkward silences or our conversations will feel forced. Should I disclose to them beforehand that I’m on the spectrum? This is a blind date basically, I matched on a dating app. Im not really sure if it’s the right decision to do this. Because they’ve only seen my pictures and they have no idea what my temperament is like, they may be disappointed. I know overthinking is not helping, because I’m thinking of the worst case scenario. People who have gone on blind first dates before, could you please give me advice on how to prepare for it without getting too stressed? Also any tips on how to navigate the date itself would be really helpful. I’m excited to meet them, but the romantic context of this meeting kind of makes me scared because I’m probably expected to be flirty and I don’t know how to do that. I suggested to go to a pottery painting class, so we’ll be doing an activity. I hope that will be fun and a way to avoid distractions. But also what if they realise mid way that we’re not compatible and we’ll just be painting in silence 😭 I don’t know why I agreed to it. I’m quite socially awkward and find it difficult to even make friends, I don’t know if this will go well

Sometimes, I like to eat bread topped with the butter in chunks(solid pieces that haven't been smeared/
melted onto the bread). Whether the bread is toasted or not, I want the butter to be solid. I like the texture. Cow butter, plant butter, either way, putting it on bread solid is tasty. Putting it on solid and leaving that way makes it kind of like cheese. It's just a nice texture. I like that served with a bowl of soup. Does anyone else like that or is it just me?

I’ve been doing this for as long as I can remember. But it’s really become a bigger thing for me now that I live alone. I live in a pretty cramped two bedroom basement suite. I will walk from one end of my house to the other. Pacing back and forth.

Part of it seems like an avoidance and also a way of “processing” big emotions. I struggle with being in touch with my feelings so I can find it very grounding in a way. Also a way of getting out the stress of “masking” all day when I’m at university or work

However, this activity has become a little bit time consuming. I’ll spend hours playing the same song(s) all while pacing around my house. I’ll physically stim as well while doing this with hand movements and sometimes I find myself making faces or even dancing around.

Often it involves me “practicing” hyper specific social situations in my mind. Or day dreaming about something and making up crazy alternate scenarios in my mind. I get so lost in it and hours will go by. I don’t think it’s quite maladaptive day dreaming level but still.

I’m wondering if anyone else does this?

So, I like to grocery shop early in the morning because the local Walmart has low sensory mornings three days a week (no music or broadcasts over the PA speakers). My wired headphones bit the dust a while back, so I thought I would grab a cheap pair of earbuds while I was there. I made my way over to the electronics area, and saw that a security guard was standing near the headphones, so I nervously said, "good morning," then proceeded to slam my cart into a nearby skid lol. I laughed in embarrassment, then grabbed a pair of headphones and went to get my food items. I've never once shoplifted in my life, but I feel like my autistic traits (looking nervous and panicky, having shifty eyes, and muttering to myself) make me a suspect. I wish I could change these behaviours, but when I get nervous, my masking abilities go away.

Does any one else feel this way, and how do you stay cool under scrutiny?

ETA: typo