Hi everyone. I've just gotten to a point in my life where just the idea of entertaining any form of a relationship with men makes my blood boil. I harbor so much anger towards them that I think it's slowly making me lose all sense of hope. I keep telling myself it's because I have a reason to and maybe a part of me know that not all of them are like that but growing up plus size since I was a kid I started getting made fun of since 9-10 and while now noone says anything outward I do feel like I just don't get respect in any setting especially in career. I don't know how to navigate these feelings and prove to myself that there are different kinds of men out there or that I'm just harboring hate and I've tried therapy for these feelings before but nothing has worked so far. Any advice is appreciated.

I want to be able to better myself. I need to stop thinking about myself negatively, but I couldn't help it. As soon as I begin to find myself pretty or embrace my body, I remember negative memories which lead me to think so badly of myself. I'd wish l'd have a smaller figure, be prettier, have bigger boobs, etc... and I would just seek validation. I’m afraid if this would continue to happen, I wouldn’t be able to fix my relationship with myself and with my partner— especially with my partner.

I’ve been seeing this woman for a few weeks now and things have been going really well. We’ve spent a lot of time together, we’ve had more vulnerable conversations, we’ve had physical intimacy, we’ve done more couple things like holiday shopping together, and we’ve both been regularly affirming an interest in each other.

However, a couple days ago, after intimacy, she asked me “did you mean it when you were talking about my being your girlfriend?” I was taken aback, as I did not remember ever saying this, and said I didn’t think I said that. I don’t have a great memory but I’m pretty sure I would’ve remembered this. She seemed visibly irritated but seemed to get over it. However, she is now livid about this, saying that if I don’t remember using the word “girlfriend” that I clearly didn’t mean what I said and that that signals a serious lapse in judgment and character. I told her I remembered conveying interest in her and wanting something long term and serious, but that I simply don’t remember using the word “girlfriend”. We argued about the importance of language and I felt like she was treating me very unfairly, as she couldn’t even remember what I allegedly said but is just convinced that I said “boyfriend and girlfriend”.

Things have been moving very fast between us and by all measures, it seemed like we were moving towards a serious relationship. We have dinner plans for Friday but it feels like the flirty spark is dead in its cradle and I’m seriously perturbed by her reactions. It is true that I probably shouldn’t have spent so much time contesting the use of the word “girlfriend”, and that this could very well just be a misunderstanding where her brain inputted “girlfriend” when I was saying I thought she was really cool and could see myself being with her long term.

She has a lot of green flags like financial stability, a good family, and being very considerate like bringing me breakfast before we left to go to the mall and showing active concern for my issues and needs. We also established from the beginning that we share almost all the same political views.

However, she said that while she really liked me and had been thinking this was going somewhere, she is now no longer sure because of my lapse in memory and that it was “f*cked up” to bring up someone being your girlfriend without meaning it. I am also not sure I want to be in a relationship with someone who could get so distraught over semantics like that and go from being lovey-dovey to being so angry about such a stupid little issue.

Does this seem salvageable? Should I try to have another conversation with her? I have no experience in dating so I’m a little lost right now.

Hey everyone l'm a 23F and I'm thinking of potentially breaking up with my boyfriend 26M of 2 years

When we started dating I knew I wasn't his type because I went through his Instagram to find a meme.

On his for you page I saw to very curvy women with ginormous breast. I was a bit hurt because I'm very skinny with DD. I asked if that's whet he likes he said yes but I just forgot about it because it isn't my business.

But somehow I'm always reminded how he prefers thicker women and its making me feel like he settled. Here are a few things that has happened since then

• I saw the porn videos he watchs and it's all thick women with big big boobs I'm talking z cups. Even his fav pornstars are shaped like that.

• one time we watched a movie and the protagonist was skinny like me and I heard him say ' I don't know how anyone could find that attractive' mind you l'm like barely 2kg heavier than her. Men are stupid so I don't think he really thought about what he said

• he'd mention how thick women are the preference for most black men (we're a black couple ) although this is unrelated it was still a lil trigger for me because I know he is talking about himself too...

• his ex has the exact body type he prefers

• we watched porn together (idk why I did this to myself and the woman ass was like me x5.

I'm a size 6 but he prefers sizes 12-14. I could tell that he was enjoying the video and felt my self esteem crush into pieces.

Apart from this he is the perfect boyfriend. But I find it difficult to not take this personally.

I just feel like I deserve a man that finds me body type attractive, even if I'm not his type, l don't want to be reminded constantly of his preference etc. let me know if I'm overreacting.

I'm not currently talking to him now, kinda feel like I need space. Being in a relationship isn't healthy if you feel like you're not enough. I started comparing myself to Cuvier women...

I've been with him for 2 years now, so I'm kinda in too deep.

What do you think is the best thing to do?

Looking for advice, wife and I fight a lot. She wants out, is it worth trying to save?

Looking for some advice from people who might better understand a woman's perspective, and could maybe have a clue to the other half of the story...

My wife (40F) and I (41M) have been married for 10 years, and have 2 daughters. Lately, it seems we're fighting a lot over little things, and she's threatening divorce for everything. Forget to do a dish or two because I was taking care of other stuff? Divorce. Did I not brush my girls' hair (because neither will let me)? Divorce and accusations of being a neglectful parent. Did I not walk the dogs the exact second she wanted me to? Divorce, and I must be personally attacking her.

FWIW, we both work full time plus right now (mandatory overtime for the holidays), and I usually pick up overtime if offered when not mandatory. This hasn't been the case for the whole marriage - when we got married, we both worked full-time but she quit to be a SAHM when we had our first, and I had both full-time and part-time jobs, a situation that lasted between 2 different part-time jobs and gig work (DoorDashing for example) for several years, until my second part-time job offered me a promotion to full-time and better pay/benefits. Our situation changed last year when she picked up a part-time job that became full-time over the summer.

Our marriage has been pretty much dead since our second child was born, but I've wanted to make it work. She supposedly wants to, but... To me, what she wants seems unbalanced, or changes. Number one thing she's asked for has been that I "help around the house" - we share cooking responsibilities (most nights I cook), I handle bedtime with our daughters, I take care of our pets and I clean when I can. I do dishes and I run loads of laundry. She primarily puts it up for herself and the girls, I help sort and put up my stuff, and shared things like towels I try to put up before she gets to it. As for our relationship bring dead.... There's been nothing physical between us for 7 years. We don't even sleep in the same bed - I sleep on the couch... Yes, some of this is health issues - she gets sick easy, has pain issues she's getting diagnosed; I snore and use CPAP, and am overweight (lost 100lbs, still trying to lose more - no surgery, no medicine yet).

We had a major fight 2 months ago where she accused me of actively not cleaning because I couldn't clean the kitchen as fast as she could. She starts screaming at me about how I never clean, and never do anything for the household. She also verbally attacks me over my weight, my family, my career, my parenting, and my size. She says she's done nothing wrong, but I should apologize (I have apologized) for the offhand comment I made about her weight (she had a little extra, but nowhere near my weight issue) while she was attacking me. She claims I tried to hit her (I did not, and the closest I came was tossing a jar in recycling to my LEFT when she was directly in front of me). She did hit me (inadvertent - she gestures wildly when she's angry, and hit me with her hand).

She has accused me of VERBAL abuse - we've fought several times, similar to above. She's accused me of SA - this over one time where she and I were both drinking, she was making overtures but decided she really didn't want to and I stopped before anything happened, leaving the room. I have never hit her or tried to hit her - she has accused me on occasion of doing so. She has tried to hit me intentionally before - at least one situation where she tried to kick me, I deflected, and her own force took her to the ground. AFAIK, there's no 'cheating' - I pretty much have no friends of either gender I hang out with and no life outside of work and home, and she pretty much made me cut out all close female friends while we were dating because she said I would cheat (a few exes of hers did cheat on her); she has some friends who all seem to hate me because of what she's told them about me. Also, not long after our last time physically, she came out as 'bi' (I'm not bashing anyone for being bi, I just was questioning her timing...).

So... I still love her, and want to make it work. Plus, I know a divorce would be drawn out and expensive, and she'd most likely get custody of our daughters and try to block my visitation. I love my daughters and want what's best for them too. For myself... I don't see myself having any prospects outside of this relationship and haven't been looking (because I won't cheat in a relationship), and have been wondering if being single and alone is better than married and alone.

Any advice on what I can do to fix this, or is it too late and I should just move on? Open to all suggestions.

TLDR: Wife (40F) and I (41M), married 10 years, 2 kids. Marriage effectively dead, wife saying she wants out, I want to save it. Advice?

EDIT: she found my post on here, cyberstalked me, and now has said she clearly wants a divorce. So, guess there's really nothing left to say.

shes repeatedly asked me to be rough with her, and it made me uncomfortable at first, but ive worked my way up to choking her, pinning her down, pulling her hair and talking dirty. but she wants more, shes asked me to beat the shit out of her (her words). im just not comfortable with hitting her but i want to satisfy her. neither of us have any experience apart from each other. im pretty vanilla, and i find it hard to keep up with her

ive told her i dont think i can hit her, at least closed fist, i might be able to slap her but it feels wrong to me. goes against my nature. shes been patient with me but she still wants more. how do i satisfy her without traumatizing myself

Hi! Posted this problem in /relationships but I thought this might be a better demographic to post, coming from someone in their mid 20s.

I (24F) my boyfriend (22M) have been together for over a year now. We both graduated with Art Bachelors last year. Currently, he doesn't have a job and has moved back to his parents' house. I'm finding it difficult to deal with this, and it's even affecting my attraction to him at the moment.

I've worked all through university, started studying a bit later, and have had several full-time jobs before. My boyfriend, on the other hand, has had a few jobs here and there but has never committed to something long-term. He’s done some shifts at a local pub since moving back home, but although he says he’s looking for a job, he still hasn’t found one.

I understand that he's 22 and we both just finished university in May (so it’s been six months), and I was also unable to find a job in the arts. That's why I took a full-time job outside my degree field, which is paying my rent. I’m currently working 45 hours a week and saving up. However, I find his lack of employment really unattractive, especially since he doesn’t seem to be putting in the effort I expect, or the effort that I myself put in.

I've spoken to him about this several times, but I don’t want to feel like I’m taking on a “mom” role. I also told him that I don’t like receiving a “good morning” text after 10:30 or 11 a.m., or a “goodnight” text after 1 a.m. on weekdays, as I find it frustrating that he isn’t more motivated. Is that unfair for me to say?

He says he’s trying, but it seems he’s either too naive or doesn’t want to settle for minimum wage, and sometimes he applies for jobs that are far beyond his current qualifications. I see him hanging out with friends and seeing people he hasn't seen in ages, which is also something good. But...

Fyi, he is the love of my life and this feeling has come very unexpectedly. I don’t care about money, but I do care about having a purpose in life, something to be passionate about, and staying busy as a partner. Unemployment and living with his parents in a small town, where he can’t get anywhere without borrowing his mum's car and sleeps till late, don’t feel like how he should be spending his time at 22. it feels lazy

Is it fair for me to find this my boyfriends unemployment so unattractive? Or should I give him more space, considering he’s 22?

Why are his parents, who he lives with, not stepping in here? Or is the world just fucked and getting a job is just really hard, and I am making that feel even harder by not understanding his situation?

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and are both 22. While our relationship is mostly good, I’m struggling with his lack of motivation and planning for the future. I’m currently in college working toward a business degree and striving for financial stability, a better future for us, and the ability to help my family.

He has been working a full time job for two years, earning $20 an hour, but hasn’t saved any money. I’ve tried helping him budget and suggested he pursue his GED or trade school, but he doesn’t seem interested. We’ve been living with his parents for a year, and while he pays $600 in rent and covers some bills, I feel like he could still save something if he wanted to.

I don’t contribute financially because I’m in school, but I handle the cooking, cleaning, and laundry. It bothers me that he isn’t making any real effort to secure a better future for himself or for us. When I’ve brought this up, he gets defensive. He’s also mentioned that having a baby might motivate him to work harder, but I believe our relationship and shared future should already be enough motivation.

I’ve thought about moving back in with my parents to focus on my goals, but I don’t want him to feel abandoned. I still care about him deeply, but I don’t know how long I can wait for him to figure things out.

How can I approach this situation to balance supporting him and prioritizing my own future?

We been together 6 years, been through a lot, covid, traumas and minor surgeries. I looked after her, took to drs, paid rent, utilities, she was off work for nearly a year. no kids or mortgage as my job allowed rent. She kept her wage to herself( i work in healthcare unsocial hours, shes a lab tech)

She had guys prio to me, but still chats through facebook when they text her. We been living together abroad and returned home close to relatives. I drove 2000 miles on Friday with my last stuff and i was exhausted. That day she was chatting with ex boyfriend as he has missed her. Didnt tell me anything for the past week. Should i confront her and ask if she respects me and finish this or just let it go and work towards our future ?

I was going to buy a house for us to settle in to start family, but now i dont fkn know anything. Any good ideas?

I had a traumatic, abnormal childhood. As a result I spent most of my 20s completely lost, working minimum wage jobs that made me suicidal, heavily drinking, and hanging out with people I didn't have the emotional skills to realize I didn't even like being around. I had a shift in my late 20s where I saved up some money, traveled a lot, and got to know who I was as a person more. I went back to school and got an associates degree and graduated this past spring. My life has become completely derailed since then because of a relationship that completely reset who I was as a person, I spent most of this year thinking of nothing else. Now I finally have the mental ability to think about life beyond the next 24 hours of emotional crisis again, and realized I'm totally lost once more. I have no idea who I am or what I want. I'm running out of money. I'm terrified of becoming trapped in a shitty job and being swallowed up by depression again. After this relationship I don't even know what I like or what I want anymore. I couldn't tell you a goal or a dream I truly deeply want if you held a gun to my head. How am I supposed to figure this out while also finding a job and deciding if I should further my education and trying to find a place to live (I'm staying with my parents rn) I'm paralyzed by the amount of things I don't know and have to do, and I feel like a blank canvas as a human being once again, and I'm still emotionally a wreck over my breakup.

This is a throw away acc bc he has reddit. Im 25f, currently in a ltr of 4 years with my bf (27 M)Before, I had only ever been with one person and it was non consensual. After this incident, I went through my first year and a half of college too scared and traumatized of intimacy, then covid happened and couldnt get the chance to get out there more. After the pandemic ended I turned 21 and went to my first bar in which I met my now bf. Whenever I hear about his past and experiences I find myself getting jealous and sad that my past is so ugly and it makes me ashamed and doesnt make me feel normal to only have this experience in my past. I feel like if I were to be with other people before settling it wouldn’t affect me as much. Can I have some advice?

I used to go to the gym 3-5x a week and did your usual weight training and light/minimal Cardio. I had some illnesses and took a few weeks off months ago, but since then can’t seem to stick to a workout plan or routine. I feel weak and lazy. I lost a lot of weight his year because I’ve been on semaglutide, but because I haven’t been working out, I lost muscle too and feel like I really screwed up . I have started eating more Protein again and that has helped, but I can’t seem to get myself to the gym more than 1-2 week if I’m lucky. And advice on how to start up again?

This past weekend, i've had someone ask me if my face is swollen or am I just like that. My father called me a hippo this morning. I can't stop crying. There hasn't been a single time when people haven't talked about my body.

I am not even mid sized (If i search on TikTok for fashion advice, they tend to be bigger than I am). I am 5'0 and 130 lbs.

Maybe I have reverse body dysmorphia. I don't think I am fat, but maybe I am. I know I have chubby cheeks, always had them. Most of weight go to my breast (waiting on breast reduction surgery).

I want to learn to accept the fact that I am not an attractive person. I never was, patiently waited to glow up, and now I never will be.

How do i stop crying and obsessing over it?

I had a friendship end unexpectedly recently (a month ago), that I’m not over. I was told I pushed boundaries, and I asked about that (she never told me), apologized for it even though I wasn’t aware that I had before this text. It seems to have happened several times and wasn’t brought up any one of those times, since she said that she had been “thinking about it for a while”.

But if I’m also being really open and honest, a while back, maybe roughly 18 months or so ago, I told her I was going on a date and may be dating someone, asked if we could still be friends (we played an online battle royale game together, Apex Legends). She said it was okay and she wasn’t romantically interested in me, just in being friends.

That date didn’t go anywhere, and then months later we played with a guy who she seemed really friendly with. I asked (foolishly I realized after the fact) if there was something between them, if she was romantically, that I felt possibly jealous and insecure about my gameplay and not being as funny (again, foolish and inappropriate to say when not dating or close as friends). She told me that she played with all kinds of people when it came to humor and gameplay, and that I just had to ask when she wanted to play (I also mentioned how it felt like we weren’t playing as much). I could tell she was uncomfortable and annoyed. I apologized and told her I could be cool, that I realized I was being insecure and would message her when I wanted to play Apex with her.

I think she was never as open or trustful of me, though I would be curious to hear what you guys think on that. She later at one point told me I couldn’t seem to relax and that I had done some other things that bothered her (when I asked about it, she didn’t really say, like she had before about the guy I was asking about).

She’s a 9 on the enneagram (the peacemaker I believe). I had also figured out early on in our friendship that she was introverted, and had dealt with anxiety and depression, and that I would always try to be respectful and not make her uncomfortable, that I would always try to be honest and open. She was also really funny and kind and understanding to me. Knowing all this, I guess I was always careful not to roast her too much (I did a little here and there, but not much at the end which I realize now is so “nice guy” or simping of me. I know a little roasting can be playful and fun and enjoyable). I also encouraged her several times throughout our relationship, when I felt it was appropriate, though sometimes I think I just did it because I liked how it seemed to make her feel good, and because I liked too, though I guess it became obnoxious or annoying at the end. I liked sharing memes with her and talking about things like trips and family and other stuff in my life. I tried at various points asking her about those things, but she would be very general about it or wouldn’t say on her own initiative really.

I know from talking with other friends I was way more into her than she was with me, that being causal and just playing apex wasn’t something I guess I could stick to, even though I feel I could (I mentioned to her about having anxious attachment , which I thought at least explained my behavior, but was probably inappropriate and did more harm than good). I also know I’ve struggled with codependency from a prior ex, but I’ve done better on that.

I haven’t even gotten on the game really at all because it feels too haunting to me. She was the second person I became friends with through the game (a buddy of mine introduced me Apex, so he was my first friend, but things ended this year between us pretty mutually because of schedules and him being a dad). It also feels like there is a trust issue I can’t seem to shake now even though I’m trying to date now.

I could really use some encouragement and advice on online friendships and/or dating on video games like Apex Legends and on dating apps like Hinge. Not trying to trauma bond or dump on anyone, though sometimes I have and tried to do better haha. I want to move on, learn how to be better on recognizing what are boundaries (like when to give space) for girls, communicating in a clearer way about expectations or my thoughts and feelings in a respectful way, how to handle rejection or be respectful of boundaries or differences.

We've been going out for a year. She's the most compatible person I've ever been with. Regarding lifestyle, morals, family dynamics, religion, work/life balance, saving vs spending, novel vs familiar experiences, plans for the future and kids, I've dated probably a dozen women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s and never clicked with someone in all these ways. With that said, I've been feeling some conflicted feelings on a few other areas. I've brought it up to her gingerly, but these are all really sensitive issues that I could use some help with.

• I think something's going on with how I perceive her scent. When we meet and hug or are cuddling, I usually catch a whiff of something that's off and have to move my head away. My whole life, women I've dated have just smelled nice and I've never thought about it. My girlfriend is a normal hygienic woman, I see all the products on her shelf, she showers regularly, brushes her teeth twice a day. But I think she could dry herself out of the shower and her base smell or breath just smells like stale sweat or something to me. I've tried to bring this up to her gently, blaming her perfume or deodorant. And she does try to apply new scents, and to me it helps, but just a little. It's become a joke between us that I have a strong sense of smell.

• I've never felt like we totally found our matching sexual compatibility. I do like having sex with her, but there's been some things I've had a hard time fully meshing with her:

• When we first started having sex, I went down on her a lot. I probably went down on her 20 times before I asked if she ever wanted to reciprocate. She told me that she just doesn't like the taste or smell or sensation of doing it. She was willing to try sometimes immediately after I shower and I felt bad because she was literally retching and gagging with me barely in her mouth. She said she may be willing to do some foreplay, and may try to do more in the future, but I'll probably never get a blowjob to completion. I hate to compare, but I've never dated a women who's had that kind of reaction and I kind of don't know what this will feel like long term.

• My style of bedroom play is very much rolling through the sheets, pouncing on each other, free form fun. I've expressed that to her and tried to lead by example. But even after these months, I don't think she's picking up on my body language. Little things like shifting our weight, moving limbs around for comfort or enabling access, etc... It still feels like teenage fumbling to me. I'm a musician and played sports and have some dexterity with my body; by her admission, she's a little uncoordinated and awkward when it comes to that. I don't really know how to teach what I want besides continuing to say "Can you move here? Can you do this when you do that?"

• She doesn't always get very wet for sex. She said that she used to when younger but now is having a hard time, but it makes me feel like I'm not turning her on. A lot of times when starting sex we'll have to do a lot of repositioning and her grabbing and moving me like a micrometer this way and that way to get it started and it doesn't help the mood for me.

• I've always really loved being sexy with my partners over text. Just talking about a recent time together, sharing the sensations that we felt, writing little saucy stories of what we want to do to each other, that kind of thing. My girlfriend doesn't want to do any of that. She says it's because her phone is from work and she doesn't want them to see anything. But I find it hard because that has always been a form of foreplay to me. She's just more of a shy, meek person when it comes to that stuff. It seems like we abruptly go from "Having dinner and watching something on Netflix" mode to "sex mode" and it's jarring to me. I want to see her as a sexual person, I want to know what's swirling through her mind and turning her on. But a cutesy "come over here" and some butterfly kisses after a few hours of talking about our day and work and what we have coming up doesn't just instantly get me there.

• We sometimes seem to be a half step off in things like frequency and initiating. We once went on a vacation and I was ready to dive into each other at the hotel when the door closed. But she was tired the first night, and the second night, and it took til the second morning until we did any fooling around. But then there are times like around a job interview I had where I was stressed and didn't get hard one night. The next day she popped into my studying session ready to go, wetter than I've ever felt her, and she was really disappointed when I didn't get hard again that time because I was distracted with the studying on my mind.

We both want to marry and have kids. After dating for a year, she's hinted that she's ready to be engaged. I really feel like we have a special connection and I want to do what we need in order to get this last part of life to be compatible. I've communicated all this - can we have a place where we share sexy thoughts with each other, do you want to have sex more often, if you really want me to go deeper you need to move your legs a little, if you're turned on then please lose yourself in the moment and go crazy. One thing we both agreed might be nice is to get dancing lessons together, I think that will help us learn each other's body's rhythm. I feel like I've commented on these topics to the edge of being conversational and polite, without having like a sit down "Seriously, we need to discuss this" talk. But if I were to be more blunt, I'd want to say "Can you just be more graceful with your movements, more confident and open with your sexuality, show some more desire in your facial expression" and all these things that might not be so nice. But I also don't know if I'm being selfish or unreasonable in expecting my forever partner to be in this perfectly sexually compatible bliss, which is probably just an amalgamation in my head of the best sexual relationships I've had through my life.

How can I have these conversations?

How to deal with a coworker who says women at work "turn on her" and thinks I dislike her talking to my fiance?

I'm 31F, she is 32. She works a support role as a porter in a shop where my bf and I are both mechanics. I like her. She wants to me a mechanic too so I want to be kind and supportive. She seems to really like talking to me. I generally like talking to her.

But, she has some funny ideas about men and women, calling unaccountable men "feminine" but also criticizing all of them for "low empathy". Recently, we had a prickly interaction re: quack medicine which she mistook as me being embarrassed my bf mentioned a UTI to her. After, she apparently told him she thought I might be mad he was talking to her because she is female. Uh...nope. hadn't even thought about it like that. I talk nasty shop with men all day and no one ever thinks about it like that. I kinda forgot that was a thing. Talk to him all you want, he can talk about my UTI if it's relevant, I don't really care since I joke about weirder personal stuff. Just don't bother me with unscientific advice.

It didn't really occur to me to be threatened. Does she like to be thought of that way? Has she worked with super crazy gals or is it her? Who knows.

She has mentioned she's enjoying the "honeymoon" phase of the job where she is still a shiny new thing, and that the women will turn on her first, and then "the feminine men who are into those women" but the "masculine men" won't turn on her. She says she has always had male friends and women turn on her in workplaces and at church. She has mentioned her husband feels weird about her talking to (all male but me) mechanics all day.

Can I reasonably keep being supportive and social with this lady? She treats me like her girltalk island in the storm, and I often feel that way too. But I'm frankly worried about what ideas she's going to get about people. I've had friends before who thought pretty weird made-up shit about me (past example: I didn't help her study because I want ther to fail, rather than I didn't help her study because I like to go home and I wasnt planning to study), and I feel like this coworker is high risk for that sort of thing.

Advice for trying to keep things sane between us? I like talking to her and I would love for her to become a technician too. If I "keep it professional" that's basically a snub because the shop is very friendly and talkative. But I have let things go too far with this type before and I want to figure out how to be clearer and set some better boundaries before it gets out of hand and I HAVE to "keep it professional"

I met a girl few months back. She is well mannered & my well wisher. I see her just as a friend. I talk to her politely & honestly I gave her a lot of time because she was going through something & I felt I should give her company. She is now making suggestions on what dress I should wear, how my specs should look etc. I wear average things, live simple life even though I can afford way expensive things. I don't think she should have any opinion on these things. She is too freaking average to give any suggestions at the first place. How to tell her to stfu? I can't be rude with anyone on face. Just not in my nature. Don't wanna hurt a lady, not in my education. Not sure how to say a polite stfu? I am careful how much elder I'm.

Me (F) and my boyfriend (M) are both in our senior year of high school, we have been dating for seven months however recently I’ve been feeling really uncomfortable being sexual with him.

I’ve found that I do not enjoy having sex at all, it doesn’t feel good for me whatsoever and I only really do it so that my boyfriend feels good. Most of the time I’m just wishing for it to be over.

I found that often when we were hanging out that ended up being one of the main things my boyfriend wanted to do, and I had communicated with him that I did want have sex as often as more time often than not I never felt fully inclined towards it. (However, when I did communicate this the first time his response was super weird. He started turning away from me and would refuse to look at me because he felt bad, like sort of self-pitying? It was kinda hurtful because I was just trying to communicate).

Anyways, not much has changed since. He always is really touchy and is always asking to touch my areas or is really aroused when I’m not at all. My question is, is this normal for a relationship? I feel like I’m being so dramatic but ideally I always saw a relationship being more than just sex, and I feel like at this point that’s what it may be becoming. I put a lot of effort into other aspects, like planning dates and buying him nice gifts that I spent lots of time thinking of. But it doesn’t feel like he shares as big as an interest in those things then I do.

What should I do about this? And is this normal? I mean heck I’m assuming it may be since I’ll be going to college and stereotypically this seems like a majority of college men. I just want more out of this relationship and I know there’s potential for it but it seems like I’m loosing it and I feel so crazy :(

My partner has mental health/anger issues, and is triggered/set off by relatively minor things...such as leaving a dish in the sink, accidentally leaking menstruation blood on the sheets while sleeping (sorry, gross I know), him thinking I have a certain tone of voice/expression he doesn't like, etc. He can get into these fits of anger/rage that's hard for him to control since he has impulse control problems. Sometimes he name-calls, cusses me out, throws/destroys things (not my stuff, and also not at me or in my direction, but just in general), and threatens to break up with me/actually breaks up with me briefly (saying "we're over, this relationship is done, pack your things and leave"). He's also tried to dump me (essentially abandoning me in an unfamiliar city) when I was in a foreign country, without my passport, wallet, or a way to get back to where I was staying.

He does these things out of anger and then always apologizes afterward. He also has a hard time controlling his behavior with parents, friends, and other people, so it's not only me who he behaves impulsively/erratically with. He says he wants to work on his anger problems and be a better partner. I'm wondering, from a man's perspective, is this behavior considered abuse or would you classify it more as anger problems? When he is not in an anger rage, he's the sweetest person and my best friend. The anger fits happen around once every few weeks - once a month (and when they happen, we usually end up fighting/breaking up for about 24 hrs or more), and in between the rage fits he is supportive, kind, and loving.

Hi, I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this.. Anyway, I have been with him for 8 years, I moved to the country he is from. He is my first "serious" boyfriend, we rarely talk about marriage/kids, and if, it's "we don't want that".

From the start we always had bad communication, I was very shy. He was never very romantic or showed much interest in sexual things with ME. But I did see him watch p*rn stuff online in the past, and look at other girls in public. In the past my self-esteem was shit, so I always thought it's because I'm ugly and awkward etc. But as I got older I realised I'm pretty good looking apparently, and I was always in good shape, still am. And other men have shown interest in me. I'm open to trying different things, wearing lingerie etc. I AM a bit awkward with sex stuff, but how can I get better when we never do anything..? But he rarely shows any interest in sexual activities. In the start, we had it a bit more often, but not much. Now it's maybe 1x month.. and when it happens, it's very fast and doesn't even feel good for me. And then he becomes even more against doing it. And I want it more. I think he is very insecure about his size down there, and he also has issues staying hard for "longer" time. When I ask him "how can things improve? Do you want to stay celibate for the rest of your life?"(as a joke) he always just pushes the conversation away, and even say "yes I will":/ But that means I am too then.. We never talk about sex, it's impossible with him. It's like my whole 20's, I've been with someone who rarely shows they want me in that way.. sometimes I'm not sure I can take it anymore. How can I talk more with him about this? He does have some anger issues, so it's not easy to talk about this stuff.. It's so frustrating, I even have many sexual dreams lately, like my dreams are giving me what I can't have irl.

(Edit; he is btw quite a jealous person, doesn't like me to talk with other men, even just friendly. He always jokes "oh you like him" etc..) but HE doesn't want to show much affection to me, but others are not allowed.. )

My 53 year old girlfriend has been struggling financially for the past few years. I have helped her out all the time. Groceries, birthday gifts for her kids ect.

Now, I am anything but cheap. I feel I have been quite generous.

She recently sold her house and now finally has the means to pay her bills ect. This was recent and now it seems she is even less likely to contribute anything. Her behavior is baffling to me. You’re the man you are supposed to pay. You’re being so petty. I don’t get the mind games. She’s 53 and I’m 54.

Here is where I am really upset. She constantly will say hey if you drive, I’ll pay for the gas. Or hey could you pick this up for me, I’ll pay you. Hey could I borrow X amount and I promise I will pay you back and you won’t have to ask.

When I ask to be paid or for her to pay she says I am being unreasonable and always says I am criticizing her. Can she do anything right.

I have helped her a lot with her and her two kids. Yet I am feeling very upset and frustrated with the in ability to communicate with her.

We have been together for 3 years and l really don’t want to throw it away and break up right before the holidays.

However I am aggravated and upset more than anything and none of this seems to bother her.

Please help, I’m so torn on what to do and could really use some perspective here.

TLDR.I have been very generous and don't feel like she is willing to acknowledge nor pay for anything moving forward and it's upsetting to me.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Whenever i see stuff that makes broad statements about men, i know that what i should do is turn away because i should know that it’s not about me. But i always get offended by stuff like that which i know means i know it’s about me deep down and that i’m part of the problem

I get offended when a piece of media only portrays the men as bad, even though i know thats what leads chuds to complain about minorities and stuff in media and i really dont want to be like that

How do i stop myself from getting offended by this stuff? I feel like a horrible person whenever i do and i really dont want to be part of the problem and a red flag and stuff

I (34F) recently ended a relationship with someone (36M) due to general incompatibility. We were together less than a year. He has an anxious attachment and I lean more avoidant. Part of what led to ending the relationship was my need for personal time and his growing need for all of my down time. We had regular conversations about our differences and the pressure I felt from him and he dismissed my concerns often saying that I created expectations or routines that I felt restricted by. Our discussions frequently became him talking in circles and repeating the same points and I felt consistently unheard.

Ex texted wanting to have a conversation for closure now that he has had more time to process. I told him I was willing to hear him out but that I have said everything I had to say and I think it would be for the best for him to text what he wants to say. He said it would mean a lot if it could be a phone call. I reiterated that texting would be best and he is repeating that he needs it to be a call. I don't feel like this is an unreasonable request, but I feel like I will still be in the same cycle of catering to his wants/needs over my own even though we are broken up and I feel no need to further discuss things. I am frustrated that I feel this is a perfect example of why things devolved between us and he is so blind to everything I have said to him.

I guess I'm looking for advice on how to handle this situation. Am I overreacting? Do I let him call and get it over with? It's not as simple as a call because nothing ever is with him, he'll want to schedule and he'll just be talking in circles for at least an hour.

So i met this woman years ago through work and we had an instant spark but she was with someone so we never did anything about it. Fast forward to now, we reconected through a dating app about 8-9 months ago and the chemistry has just been amazing. In the last 3months we had started being more serious and talking about the future and our life together

Now for the real issue i need advice on. She’s amazing kind very carring in her own way and to top it off so beautifull but her last relationship traumatized her (we went in details about how her ex treated her and her insecurties following that relationship) to sum it up she has no self confidance doesnt like herself and think she doesnt deserve love and wants to rebuild herself and learn to love herself which yes that is very important i get it

Through all that i think shes trying to push me away by being cold and distant i tried to reassure her that i aint leaving and she worth it but right now the silent treatment for days to her apologizing and us having the most amazing times together i dont know if i can keep hurting myself this situation is breaking me but my feeling are genuine and i really do want to keep my words even if we dont end up together i love her so much i dont want to be the guy shes let in her heart sharing all her insecurties and feelings just to hurt her more and ditch her. What to do? Leave and protect my heart or stick by her and leaving her the space she needs

Tldr: situationship with a woman that left a very abusive relationship and dont know if i should stick by her even tho its destroying me.

Context: I like him as a friend, nothing else, and would prefer to remain friends with him

I have been in a mixed-gender friendship group with him for about two years. This year, I've begun to notice him showing signs he likes me, and the other friends agree that he does. (This has been a recurring conversation topic.)

Frustratingly, he follows me around alllllll the time. Like, it can be kind of nice having some attention? But today I was out shopping with the group, and he followed me everywhere the whole time, constantly hovering over my shoulder, and standing rather close to me. My other friends noticed this and when I had one singular time alone with them during the hours-long trip they asked if I was okay, and I expressed my discomfort to them, and they shared my frustration.

Upon telling him "You don't have to follow me all the time," he responded with "oh sorry I was zoning out." To which later my other friend affirmed that he definitely knew what he was doing.

How can I get him to stop/lessen this behaviour? I have already made it obvious that I am sort of into another guy, but the behaviour still hasn't stopped.

i (20 f) and my best friend, wyatt (22 m) and i were recently having a conversation with my roommates and someone brought up the rice purity test. this comment led to a conversation between wyatt and i later that evening.

(for context, wyatt and i are super close. when hes not at his apartment or on campus, he is at my apartment. we spend a lot of time together on campus as well, and work together. we are both very trusting of each other so conversation topics like this are typically brought up.)

we were sitting in my room and we took the test together, comparing answers but not really…more like having conversations about experiences we’d had. again, nothing out of the ordinary. there is a question that asks ‘had an orgasm due to someone else’s manipulation?’. i didn’t check it because that hasn’t been my experience. he jokingly made a comment about how i missed a box, but i told him i hadn’t.

we talked for a moment and it led to a more in depth conversation about my previous experiences with intimacy. at one point, he offered to help me check that box and i laughed it off, but he immediately told me that he wasn’t joking. we eventually just laughed and finished the tests, but i haven’t been able to get over that.

both of us are single and i am not necessarily against it, but i feel weird bringing it back up as its been about a week since the initial conversation. up until this point i haven’t had feelings for him and i don’t know if he was joking or not.

he is home for thanksgiving break and all of my roommates are gone so ive had a lot of time to dwell on it. if i bring it up im worried it will make things weird, but im also worried if i dont say anything things will be weird, its a viscous cycle.

i should also mention that the way he said it wasn’t in a douchey way at all (or in a way that was arrogant or anything) it was a genuine offer and his tone reflected that.

how would you approach this if you were in my shoes? any advice on what to do? TIA!

TL DR - about a week ago my best friend offered to help me orgasm for the first time after a conversation about my past experiences not achieving that. i have been thinking about the offer and im not opposed to it i just dont know how to approach the situation, advice would be appreciated! TIA

Hi everyone, ‘I'm F19 ’and “M:19 going on 20 in a month”. He is a coworker at work and has shown interest in me. We met 3 days ago and I went from disliking this guy to thinking I might like him. M is very childish, uncoordinated, pretty loud, obnoxious, and annoying. Most people don't like him and can't tolerate him. I on the other hand get told I act mature for me age, people usually thinks I'm in my early 20s because I am mature, well spoken and always put together. I used to dislike his guts because he talked a lot of crap about me when we first met. Well, fast-forward I gave him a piece of my mind and he stopped for a while and talks less crap. Well for some odd reason, he told multiple people that he is interested in me, and he also told me this in a sneaky way. He told me he got permission from my dad’s friend(he also works at my job) to date me. He only listens to me apparently. I seem to kinda like his presence despite him being childish he notices when I'm moody or upset and always checks up on me. I find myself looking for him whenever I step into a room, I oddly care for him a lot, giving him food, feel the need to defend him, basically caring for him. He waits for me and I find myself also doing the same, he skips his break/ lunch to be with me. He would wait for me after work and I do the same. He is always willing to help me but for some reason, I can't maintain eye contact with him anymore and this is one thing I get compliments on “being able to hold eye contact”. I can't stop thinking about him. I also don't want to date anyone from work, people keep asking me about us and if I will give him a chance or date him but they also said not to because he is too childish. His voice keeps playing in my head. I need help, please. I'm confused.

It seems like everyone around me is married and is either pregnant or planning on having kids, while I’m still single and have never even had a serious relationship. I really want kids in the future but haven’t met anyone and every time I try dating, life gets in the way (for example, my work gets busy or family obligations arise - I’ve had to take care of my parents who were sick for a long time). I feel anxious that my clock is running out and I can’t help but feel jealous of other women who are already having kids. I know it’s not a race but I feel so behind.

I love my job! I do a lot, but a core responsibility is leading a team. My issue is that most of them are men, and it's so clear that they don't respect me as much as they do my boss, another man.

I promised myself that I wouldn't be a micromanager, but if I'm too attentive to their work, they ignore me, and if I dial it back, then they get behind, or mistakes happen. It's very frustrating because I know they don't see me as their lead. I keep everything organized and structured for them, I send resources and reminders, and I do weekly checks on their workload -- but somehow, I find myself constantly repeating the same things.

Another minor thing I noticed is not reacting to my messages on our channel. when my boss post then suddenly they're very active, but when i post it's crickets.

How can I get them to respect me? Listen to me? Any books, advice, or videos that can help?

They used to work together and have been dating for six months. In those six months they have rented an apartment and bought a puppy.

I’m genuinely worried for her safety and all of my friends seen to think that because she’s 20, she can make decisions for herself.

She wont let anyone meet the guy and when we tried to see her new apartment, she said we couldn’t because her bf was home.

Is there really anything I can do/say here? Or would it be better to not bring it up but make sure I stay close by?

Also not sure if this is important, but the man just got divorced after a long marriage with his childhood friend. I’m unsure if the divorce was because of my friend because I wasn’t told directly but her mom said she broke them up.