so my brother has already been diagnosed adhd and has openly said he has social anxiety to my mother (this is just background not trying to diagnose him). he shows a lot of autistic traits, as well as adhd ones. his father (my stepdad) also does, specifically the autistic ones. but i’ll just tell you the ones that apply here. again, not seeking diagnosis, just giving you the gist of what is going on.

he self-isolates 24/7. like legitimately 24/7 at this point. he is very bad with personal hygiene (he has 12 cavities and only showers once a week). he plays video games for 10 hours a day (or more). he eats very unhealthy and is very lanky (at 5’6”) and pale. he has never had a real friend in real life. he ate lunch alone at school, but has since decided to be homeschooled. and my parents allowed it. he is not getting his DL on time (kinda understandable, not that weird), and is in no rush to get a job. he’s 16, so again, not that weird. but he also won’t go in stores alone and my mother still doesn’t trust him to make food by himself unless it’s the air fryer. he has no intellectual disability. he would be lvl 1. he’s quite bright in his own ways. but has always made mediocre or bad grades in school. i’m pretty sure he “can’t be trusted” to cook because he’s so distracted by his computer (has possibly fried his dopamine receptors). he’s been gaming since age 3. there is very little structure or discipline and he is not seeing a psych, hasn’t in years since he decided he didn’t like adderall (the only intervention ever tried). there is even more to this but i want to keep this about autism. he has big dreams of doing IT and moving to japan. and i know he could do it (my mother isn’t so sure). he’s had a crush before, so i know he has romantic capacity as well.

all that being said, if you had this experience/have this disposition in adulthood, are you happy? content? do you wish you had gotten help from someone earlier? did you get better (assuming you were not content) on your own? it wracks my brain because i’m not sure if i’m being hyper-vigilant or if i need to keep fighting my parents on this. they are being neglectful in my eyes 100%. they basically take the stance of “he’s just different”, and do nothing else. they didn’t get me the help i needed at his age and i just do not want him to go through the things i did or have resentment when he’s older for the lacking support. he says he’s not depressed. but he definitely has mental health concerns and shows many symptoms. please weigh in.

What is it called when you go non verbal but you are able to make a sound that communicates with other people? Ex: someone doesn't talk but their family asks them questions -- the person who doesn't talk meows in different tones but the meows often sound similar. What kind of communication is that called and can it be classified as non verbal?

My partner (50m) may be autistic, still have a long journey ahead to figure that out but it has definitely triggered some "aha" moments. The biggest is the complaint he has always made but has vexed us both: that he doesn't have and has never had anyone to help him "learn how to live" or "figure out life". But when he tries to explain exactly what that means he doesn't fully know. It's more like an overall feeling that he is missing some fundamental things about life, but can't really say what those things are (because they're missing!).

Sometimes he says he needs me to push him on things to force him out of his comfort zone, but if I push with the wrong things or in the wrong ways it backfires. I am his primary support system, and I think that when I have failed to meet this need he has met it in ways that havent always been healthy for him (listening to conspiracy theorists, for example, or adopting hateful ideologies/rhetoric he's learned from internet celebrities even though they don't align with his own values).

One example of what he means by this might be, it occured to him recently to ask me what an adult friendship is supposed to entail and feel like. He has been trying really hard to break out of isolation and socialize (and has been doing great). Some more concrete examples that have worked well are pushing him to join a gym (fitness was already his main hobby), look for a therapist, helping him improve his diet, and creating low-pressure plans/outings that are ok to bail on without social fallout.

Anyway, since neither he nor I fully know what else could be helpful I thought I'd come ask you folks. Those of you with partners or spouses, what have they been able to do to help or support you in life? Open to hearing any experiences! Thank you so much for reading.

A few days ago, my father told my mom to tell me that i have to get "re"-assessed before i enter any college or university. He said i have to do this for accomodations, but i'm not sure it's required. But the next day, he also said that i would have to be assessed again this year, or maybe next year.

It was apparently because he went to a workshop for kids with IEPs/Special (Educational) Needs, it was for people who were going to transition to a post secondary pathway, like either heading to college or university or just straight to the workplace without post secondary education. That was the only information he told me, not even the name, but suggested that i actually attend another one as well so i understand more, i guess.

So today, i researched more on this topic and found out it seemed to be required in order to receive accomodations because apparently just having the diagnosis isn't enough for the college or university to be able to accomodate and otherwise support me and other students with IEPs. This was from websites based in Canada, so i'm not sure if this is only for students in Canada or internationally or just for North American students.

Has anyone experienced needing to do this to receive college or university accomodations?

My adult child (23M) struggles with fine motor skills and has sensory issues with clothing. He will only wear pants with an elastic waist and wears them very low across his hips below his stomach. He is not able to tolerate the feel of the waistband around his stomach. He has tried wearing jeans and khaki pants with belts but isn't great at fastening belts and wears them way too loose because, again, he can't tolerate the feeling of the fabric on his stomach. Unfortunately this means that his pants are always riding down to the point where his crack is often showing. He is graduating from college and would like to be able to have a professional job but I don't know where he can work that they will tolerate someone dressing this way. It's not just a presentation issue, it's a hygiene issue. I love him and want him to be successful but he's very defensive about the subject and refuses to talk about alternatives when I try to help. At the same time, I know for sure that he doesn't want to appear this way and most times is simply unaware that it's happening. Has anyone else ever had this issue and found a way to overcome it? How can I help him without embarrassing him and making him feel defensive?

I dont care about the downvotes. But someone claimed that my response was ableist. Is that true?

Im just looking for some honest feedback to see what exactly was wrong with my statement.

Is there anyway I can treat or make it easier to wear certain clothes if I'm sensitive to them. Could ABA therapy help?

Hi everyone,

One of my best friends is AuDHD and a self-described steamroller. I love her dearly and have brought her to several events with other friends and family, and have consistently received feedback that she’s kind of a lot - too loud, talking non stop and over others, that it’s hard for other people to get a word in, et al. It has gotten to the point where people have specifically asked me not to invite her.

I have had my own issues with feeling steamrolled by her in our own relationship, and have tried to set boundaries around it, but have a hard time enforcing them as a recovering people pleaser. As this is an issue that is now being brought to my attention by other people in my life, I would like to have a conversation with her about it.

Here is my question: if a friend were to have this conversation with you, how would you prefer to hear it? I don’t want to be mean, or embarrass her, or make her feel self-conscious. Is there a way for me to discuss this with her without evoking those feelings? And if so, what is it? What kind of boundaries and expectations can I set within myself and with her that would mitigate this sort of circumstance?

Any and all advice is welcome - I truly want to have as kind and as compassionate a conversation with her as possible!

Hi, so I'm 16 and I might be autistic, I'm on my way to getting tested. I don't know where else to ask this and I don't want to ask anyone irl. Is it weird that I enjoy watching bluey more than some adult shows (not NSFW Shows just no kids oriented shows)? I watched arcane last week, and ro be up to date again I rewatched season 1 again, the next day I watched season 2. I'm nor good at watching these kinds of series, because they kind of exhaust me and after finishing it, I might have been agitated. So, to call down I startet watching bluey and I realized I really like it. It's entertaining, and the episodes are short enough to watch them to fall asleep. I just feel kind of weird because it's a kids show.

So I was making tea for her the other day and I think I got a bit obsessed over the temperature it should boil and then started taking off the fat before pouring (I don't like it). She told me that my tendencies are autistic and I should look into it. This kinda threw me off a little. It's probably not just this and just her observing things from time to time. She's also a doctor.

Extra detail : This got me thinking, I've always been called a little weird in a funny way by people around me and I took it as a compliment. Hell my birthday cake was "when are you going back to Mars" by my best friends and it was the funniest cake I've had. Anyway I came to this subreddit and saw a post asking autistic quirks people had and the first comment was "I used to read atlas' and dictionary for fun". That was my whole childhood 💀. Also yes I have some obsessions but I've chalked up most of my obsessions and trouble getting out of a thought to OCD since I've been diagnosed three years ago.

Now my question is , what do I do from here. Take a test? In very confused rn and I don't know much about autism (I've been ignorant cause in my country it was sort of treated as a disease and I had my doubts but I never looked up much about it) so it could be great to get some advice. Thank you.

I am an elementary teacher, and one of my third grade students is autistic. She is also an English learner at the intermediate level for speaking and listening skills. This year, she has begun addressing some students of color in our school as "Blackie." She also uses this term as she points out characters in books. Our school has a clear equity policy, and school staff are consistent in calling out this name calling each time it happens. The student can identify her behavior as racist, yet she continues to use it because she finds it funny. Our school occupational therapist theorizes that while the student understands that racism is unkind, she continues with the behavior because she finds it funny--she is unable to take the perspective of the other students. I appreciate any insights.

Asking as the NT wife of a lightly autistic husband.

We thought about it for ages already but I’m always too scared. While I can think of nothing nicer than a kid that would inherit all the sweetness, kindness and intelligence of my husband, I worry about how the other end of the scale could potentially be.

So I’m curious who had children, what fears you did/didn’t have on that journey and how it all turned out in the end

Asking as a NT person with an autistic husband. Whilst I love him deeply, I doubt my capabilities to raise a child that would have really high needs, with that being said I can think of nothing sweeter than a child that would inherit all the kind, sweet, thoughtful and intelligent traits of my husband.

But you don’t get to choose, do you? It’s the fear of not knowing how autistic they could be.

So who had children, what fears did or didn’t you have when going on this journey and how has it all turned out?

Sorry, I feel this is a dumb question for several reasons, but I figured I better actually check,

Like if a specific topic comes up and almost without fail ellicits an extended hyperfixation that the person doesn't enjoy but keeps puzzling over, "stuck" on the topic, —would this be seen as something that could be counted as an autistic trait, or do ASD special interests hinge on some level of enjoyment, even if it does bring frustrations for the person with ASD?

I hope my question makes sense, even if it's as dumb as I think it is.

Many thanks for any help on this.

Like explaining the plot of a film to someone who has already watched it. Giving someone directions to a place they have made clear they know the way to etc.

I am a college professor and I have a student with autism. The exams are coming up and I want to make an exam adapted to her difficulties. She says she struggles with elaborate questions and finds it difficult to remain coherent over higlhy interpretative questions.
The subject is History.

The exam is composed of 3 questions that ask the students to elaborate over a vast number of subjects and relate them to one another. How should I go about adapting this sort of exam to a student with autism?

Any tips from other professors or people on the spectrum are welcome.
Any resources on the subject are welcomed too.

Thanks in advance.

UPDATE: Thanks to everyone that replied. I have read absolutely all replies as they were coming in, but i can't possibly respond to everyone as I am too busy. I have taken in considerations everyone's tips and experience and changed the questions to make them more detailed and specific, while still asking for a complex detailed answer. I have also proposed several accomodations to make my student's experience easier.

Unfortunately, i must also report that she has failed to answer any of my emails since she sent me that one email last night. I have sent her several emails and she hasn't answered to any of them. I will still serve her with the new/"autitified" exam, but if she doesn't reply soon, I will not put the other accomodations into practice. She is still an adult and needs to take on some responsability.

Thank you everyone for the input and kind words.

After the final exams, I might post an example of a question pre/post "autistification" (I'm sorry if the terms "autistification"/autistified" may sound offensive, they are meant as a joke/light hearted) so we can have some fun about how bad/good I did it.

My husband (31M) has the AuDHD combo pack, and he’s on the mild end of the autism spectrum. I (33F) have ADHD, but I’m not autistic, so I’m having some trouble understanding his perspective. Also, please give us both benefit of the doubt. He loves me deeply and I have no doubt his intentions aren't malicious.

My husband feels restricted in what he can say because he’s afraid of hurting my feelings. He feels like he can’t be authentic around me, which makes him feel like he can’t be 100% close to me. He says he’s built up a lot of resentment because of this. This is happening in a few different areas of our lives (we’re working through it), but for the purpose of this post, I want to focus on one topic specifically: he wants me to welcome his thoughts on how I could improve my body. This is not only in situations like I gain 50 lbs and he wants to tell me “you’ve let yourself go” or "I'm worried about your health". He wants to be welcome to say smaller things. For example, "you’d look way hotter if you do more ab workouts for a flatter tummy". He also says that he’d want me to tell him things about his body, so it’s not one-sided.

Probably doesn’t matter to the core of the issue, but I want to mention this to stave off anticipated comments: Honestly, there isn’t much for him to critique at the moment. I work out regularly, I'm within a healthy weight range, pretty fit, and moderately muscular.

Most of the time, I LOVE his upfront and blunt nature. It’s one of my favorite things about him. However, in this particular area (how my body looks), it’s scary to welcome that because of my own background with an eating disorder and body image issues. He says that he wouldn’t say anything without being careful and kind, but I still feel hesitant to welcome this from him. He also insists that he only feels this way about things that I could change (e.g. he wouldn’t feel this way if I had a medical issue that changed my body).

He says if he feels restricted in this way, he’ll be unhappy for the rest of our lives together. If he can’t be authentic with me, then he can never be his true self in our marriage. He also tells me he wants to be free to say this stuff because he feels like he’s keeping secrets from me. I have difficulty understanding why he'd want to say things that'll hurt me just so he can feel like he’s not keeping secrets from me or so he can "be himself". It’s not like he’d be telling me “hard truths” with important end goals like being healthier or safer.

I think it’s important to add this last thing: at my insistence, he told me some of the critiques he was holding back. I felt confused because I don’t see most of them when I look in the mirror. The whole argument ended with me actually taking my clothes off to find what he was talking about. When I told him I couldn’t find the issues, he came and looked, at which point he realized that all those critiques were in his head, and he couldn't see them on my body. After all that, he now thinks he was hyper-fixating on tiny issues with my body BECAUSE he wasn’t allowed to voice them. There’s so much more to say about that, but this post is already getting long...

So yeah… can I get some perspective from you all about this?

• How do you feel about holding back the honest truth for the sake of loved ones' feelings?
• In a relationship, would holding your tongue about sensitive topics make you feel like you couldn’t be your full, true self?
• How do you and your SO navigate the potential hurt feelings that can come from blunt honesty?
• Do you have general advice for navigating our ND communication differences?
• Is what he’s asking of me fair and reasonable for an autistic person to ask of their SO? I know this is relationship-specific and autistic-person-specific, but I’d like to hear general perspectives.
• Do you have thoughts on the ending of the story? I'm still kind of stunned and processing it myself, so I don't even know what to ask about it lol

EDIT: Probably makes no difference at all, but I just want to clarify something. I've already gotten a couple comments about him possibly being in toxic man-o-sphere internet spaces, so I do want to mention that he definitely hasn't been exposed to any of that content. He's very much not online except for sports, porn, and cat videos. I actually had to explain to him who Andrew Tate was yesterday cuz he had no idea haha

As the title says, my autistic boyfriend is experiencing burnout, but his family is extremely unsupportive. They don't give him any accommodations, or believe In mental health even tho he is diagnosed, they ignore him, don't give him much time to stim, talk over him, and they make him feel like his grades are more important over himself. I want to help, but there is only so much I can do because his burnout is mainly coming from his family and school. Not long ago he said something concerning regarding his mental health and I'm extremely concerned for him. I don't know what to do because he feels like he can't talk to his family at all about any of this and he also doesn't want to tell them. It took him a while for him to even open up to me, but I don't know how much longer he can keep going since he keeps getting worse each day. I don't want him to hurt himself or continue being in burnout as he is suffering a lot! Btw we are both teens.

Hi, if you saw this post https://www.reddit.com/r/AskAutism/s/XbUWnhhFe7 you’ll understand a lot more. I’m really feeling confused and a bit anxious. Last night my partner asked his brother to please do his only other chore other than taking out the trash, to wash the dishes, he got mad, pretended to wash them off and went back to his room. He barricaded the door when he went back to his room, today when he came out he just kind of stared at me and then went back and barricaded his door. We don’t ever go in his room unless we have to wake him for food, he has a lock and key for his door (that was something that happened before I moved in) so I feel confused and worried? I can’t tell if he’s just doing it because he’s angry that he had to do his chores. I’m not sure. I feel really anxious and confused about this entire problem. I’m still not trying to come off as bashing him at all, I am still frustrated though and exhausted about this.

Hey all.

I (32F) am a NT partner of an aspie (31F), and I’m struggling hard. I love her so much, and I want this relationship to work but I need help figuring out how to communicate with my partner in a way that is more helpful to both of us. I would really appreciate any advice about my method as well as any reflections or feedback about her experience and where we can meet in the middle.

My partner has had a terrible childhood in many ways, and her autism was seen as a burden to everyone (family and prior partners). So she is very sensitive to people not understanding her and to her perspective being invalidated. I’m also freshly out of an abusive relationship and can be sensitive to someone telling me bad/negative things about myself.

Most of our arguments go like this: (1) I say something that she misunderstands (I.e. hey, it’s probably a good idea for you to fill out this form before the deadline); (2) She gets upset with me because she thinks I’m doing something “wrong” (I.e. trying to control her behavior), (3) I get hurt that she thinks that, but I try to explain gently and lovingly that I’m not doing that and that I care about her/what I am doing, (4) She doesn’t/can’t believe me and continues talking about how what I did was bad/wrong; (5) I try to validate her feelings but stand my ground about the fact that she doesn’t understand what I actually did; (6) She thinks I’m telling her that her perspective is wrong; (7) I start getting visibly frustrated and hurt because I’m trying everything I know how to de escalate and it’s not working; (8) She doubles down on how I’m in the wrong, and then the argument escalates.

This is how most of our arguments go, and I really don’t know how to fix it. Sometimes I try to give her space when we both start getting disregulated, but that usually leads to it escalating somehow.

I’m so tired of fighting with her, and I love her very dearly. But I’m also very concerned that she doesn’t seem to see the effort I put in and I don’t know how to fix that…

Please help!

Hi,

I discovered this new podcast, it seems interesting, what do you think?

https://open.spotify.com/show/29sDb3vUiIpgq8AyeFHP9m?si=7XRL8humQAiRp8_S3hD02A

So my cousin (10m) let’s call him James was recently diagnosed with autism don’t ask the severity I don’t know and for obvious reasons don’t want to ask. So just recently my aunt ( mothers sister) turned 40 and as usual I had to stay in a room with the younger cousins to “hang out” during this then put on childish YouTube videos such as truth or dare and would you rather and whenever anyone else would choose a video, James would ridicule them and claim their video was stupid. This obviously is concerning as I don’t want him to give out to people the second they have a differing want/opinion to him in life, but also I was just wondering if this could be a trait of his autism or just him being a little bit of a childish brat so if you don’t mind, I would really appreciate your insight to if this happens to anyone else when they were young or even now. Sorry for any mistakes this was done on mobile.

(Edit) thank you all for your advice and I will try to take action on this to try to help my cousin.

I don’t see my brothers often and for reference we are all in our 30s ranging from age 30 to 35.

Holidays have been so difficult and we do not have a close relationship at all upon reflection work. in fact, my struggles with my one brother were so bad that we went no contact for seven years and I did not have any holidays with my immediate family for six years. Because the tension was so bad.

I think my being neuro divergent really has bothered them or things about me irritate them…

I Drive them crazy and I don’t even even know what I’m doing wrong. They don’t know that I’m autistic. I don’t know if them knowing would help. I’m not sure how to improve things with them or if it’s even worth it at this point has gone through something similar and do you have any advice?

My mentioning anything about herbalism or supplements or wholistic health sends my one scientist brother into a rage and causes fights. That’s one thing I know that really bothers them. Any sorts of talk on any special interests is a big no no with them. The one brother is an Ivy League school, educated scientist, who thinks he’s smarter than everybody and goes out of his way to make people feel small and stupid around him. And he is smarter than us, but going out of his way to talk down to people is wrong. That is just his personality coupled with being raised in a machismo culture and narcissistic traits it’s bad. In this situation You’ve got a know it all personality mixed with someone (me) who likes info dump that has special interest it’s just a recipe for disaster. 😑

I’ve been seeing someone who has level 1 ASD and I’m looking for ways to make things more comfortable for them, especially while in public. I have OCD and I fully understand how challenging it is to need something specific but not have access to it.

I like to carry snacks, little sensory toys, a pair of noise canceling earbuds, and things like that for when they’re overstimulated or overwhelmed in public and there’s no option for a quiet, dark room.

I was wondering what else I could do for them! If there are any routines, coping mechanisms, sensory items, or things like that you’d recommend I would greatly appreciate the advice. What are some things I could keep in my purse or glove box to help? Or even larger things for when they come over..?

They really like cold, flat surfaces (think a rock that’s been in the shade all day), certain fabrics (I was thinking maybe I could sew them a cube made of different fabrics, almost like a pincushion?), and things they can move or fidget with at any speed that doesn’t make a lot of noise.

Thank you so, so much for your help

Hi. I absolutely am not bashing him. I love him and I’m coming here to find if I can get any help with ways to get him to? I’ll give the backstory.

I moved in over a month ago with my partner and his brother in law, we’ve been planning this for over a year and I was glad for that because I know sudden change in routine can throw someone with autism off. I had just left my abusive household and when I came here, my brother in law was telling me how I just need to rest and not do anything, repeating what he heard my partner, the girl that helped me escape, and my counselor had said. For a little bit, it was okay. He only had 2 chores, do the dishes and take out the trash. My partner works a full time job and is often gone, my brother in law had a job, but he stopped showing up. I am trying to get one as well as doing odd jobs. Things started crumbling, I noticed he didn’t shower and hasn’t in weeks now, doesn’t change his clothes, and doesn’t wash his hands. I have problems with food and if I ever get convinced it’s not clean, I physically can’t eat. I saw him with his hands in his nose and I think sneeze in his hand, I couldn’t a lot for days after that. That’s started being trouble. If we don’t label food here, he eats it all before any of us even have a chance and doesn’t tell us. We had 2 loaves of bread and 3 containers of meat and I only got 1 sandwich out of it all. His room when he opens the door smells almost tangy, that part is really concerning and sometimes he wants me to go in his room to see something. I really try, but it’s hard for me to stomach the smell. Then the dishes. He stopped doing them and we started getting flies, trash was piling up. My partner would ask him to do it and he’d get extremely mad and go to his room, lock the door, and mutter things about him under his breath. It left me with having to do all of the dishes. I’ve been getting extremely overwhelmed from having to do a ton of work around the house to keep it tidy enough to not stink and not get flies or other bugs. It’s extra hard with this. My partner saw that and had talked to his brother, asking him to please do the dishes but he got mad again. He stopped doing them. He rinses them so we think they are clean and now every plate I find has food on the top and bottom, cups have residue of soda, milk, etc, and it’s all really unsanitary, I don’t know what to do. He does nothing now but play video games, watch YouTube, and eat. I’ve tried searching the web, I care about my brother in law and love him, I just feel so confused and if I am honest, I am a little frustrated and exhausted. What can I do?

So my child is 4 almost 5 years old. He has an iep and in special pre k. He keeps tackling and picking up other kids. We are in the Vanderbilt waitlist. He got tested once for autism but isn’t. But has characteristics. However from what I’m seeing (I’m no doctor just a stressed and mentally drained mom) he seems to have adhd. He is impulsive,can’t focus for more than a couple minutes if he is a big open space or around other kids. He doesn’t understand danger in climbing and can’t stay still. I’m just at a loss. I want my baby to be able to go to kindergarten next year. He isn’t even potty trained but trying to. He loses interest really quickly. Idk what to do I’m tearing up even typing this. I’ve started him on vitamins like the olly chillax and also omega 3. If anyone has started your little ones on it, let me know. He takes elderberry and multi regularly. I just need help I’m doing everything I can the occupational twice a week along with speech once a week. I’m doing all the testing for him. I just am tired. The waitlist for Vanderbuilt is 6-12 months also started potty trained three couple weeks but today I decided to ditch the pull ups . He peed once in the toilet and kinda on me . He keeps not wanting to go to the bathroom . He holds his pee for an hour to hour and half. He is in speech therapy but is started to say full sentences but won’t tell me he has to go. I know he can push bc he pees perfectly in the morning. I just am lost and worried. I wanna cry at the thought of him not being ready for kindergarten. He is developmentally delayed . I just don’t know what to do like am I going in the right direction? He will also drop him self dead weight and hold on to stuff in order to not go. We are using bubblies to blow on the toilet I may take his iPad there? Idk I need help

I corrected a TikTock influencer when he was describing the viral autistic sisters Shay and Bria as “fighting autism”. I feel like I already know the answer but would this offend you? TIA

So I do judo, which probably is the martial arts that has the most physical touch. I’ve been doing it for years and I really do like it, but there are sometimes when I get uncomfortable with the touch, I don’t tend to get overwhelmed in judo so most time I’m fine, I’m fine with any sort of touch on my back and basically the back half of my body, but when it comes to my stomach or the front of my neck it ugh. My stomach is still find most times since the judogi is quite thick, but I really can’t with my neck bing touched. And I don’t really tell people since they speak Cantonese at my judo centre and I’m not good with it and I’m just bad at explaining this stuff in general.

Hi there peeps! I'm married to my wife, who is a autistic woman in her mid twenties. She's been having a lot of issues recently with food and eating. Specifically she hasn't been able to eat foods that aren't sandwiches, plain white rice, or similarly basic foods (with the exception of risotto, she has made herself some killer red wine and parm risotto, but she said that's because it's so similar to white rice).

In general eating has always been somewhat difficult for her and a bit of a sensory nightmare, but lately it has increased a lot in intensity. I was hoping to ask for ideas on how I can and when I should try to help her. I can be a bit overwhelming for her in my desire to help with troubles like this and I don't really want to distress her. Normally I'd ask directly but she's also out of ideas herself other than trying to ride it out and hope it gets better with time it seems like.

I am hoping there might be a way to make eating less intimidating for her or if y'all have also had ups and downs of certain sensory experiences being more or less intense/difficult. Any advice is welcome. Thank you all for reading.