I have 3 kids: F10, F7 and M2. I am late ASD diagnosed (39) and moved out of my country to find a better place to F10, who is also autistic with a high level of support needed. 1 year before moving I got divorce from their father, and after 1 year in this new country I found the love of my life and had the boy, 2 years now.

I am giving this context, because the question itself is about my daughter F7: when she moved, she was just 3. So she always tried to understand why we moved and I always was promoting about more safety, better schools and environment for them. But her father could not do the same because he has some struggles with finding and keep a job and then he could not come together (which is true: I stayed by his side during 8 years and nothing change - I tried everything until I could not anymore). But now, F7 realizes the involuntarily, the center of the house is F10. She has meltdowns, a lot of inflexibility and F7 in the end ends suppressing her needs, specially because at some point I am drained and with no energy left in the end. I am still healing from this burnout of moving countries, getting married, new language, having a 3rd child, my job position became redundant, starting a new job… everything in 3 years interval.

So I see that my daughter was in the background so far. It is anything close to be neglected- I am a present mother, emotionally mature and very close to her.

But she is not prioritized in the end. Not because of me, but because life happened and this is the way that our family is build.

She has friends, she is doing great at school, speaking 3 languages. In the other side: she gained a lot of weight and I see that she is trying to compensate her emotions in that way. We tried therapy for self esteem, creative therapy for over the year but something is still off.

Last Friday she got really angry because supposedly would be our 1:1 day after school (we do this every week) but the sisters school called me asking to pick her earlier because F10 was sick (and really was). This was the last drop for F7: she screamed in the car, cried, how much F10 is doing this intentionally, how resented she is of her, full emotional. I validated her feelings and without thinking long I said: “Daughter, I know that you deserve more attention and presence that you have now. Nothing is yours or yours sister fault. But my life allows me to give you 20% for example, and I give you this 100% of this share: but you need more that I can give you now. Do you think that maybe moving back to your father would be an option?”.

She immediately said: it is all that I want!

Last summer we visited our country and she could spend the full time with her father and family. I planned and made this for her. His family never found ways to come here. The only time that the father came it was because I paid for that. But in the end: she loves him and I am not the one breaking her heart now to show the flaws of the father.

Yesterday I spoke with the father and explained that F7 wants to move in: he was very open to it and shared that now he is in a better place that can support her. He will need my help to pay the school only and the rest would be on him.

Now my daughter called him and she is heaven making plans to go in the beginning of the nexts scholar year (which means in 2 months).

Sorry for writing a lot, I wanted to give as much context as possible. But my question is: even she is just 7yo, I should keep this plan to fulfill her? I asked her if I do something different could make better for her to stay but she says that I am the best mother of the universe. But she misses being there: not only the father, but the grandparents, aunties…

I also proposed to find a lawyer to bring her father to get the visa to live here: but she said that is not about that - it is not only him, but the family package.

I am afraid that out of dealing my own limitations I put her away from me. At the same time I genuinely feel that what that she needs, because in the end all the sacrifice of leaving her family behind it was not because of her.

I also thought to move back, I have all support of my husband to do it with all of us: but again, F10 needs the support that she is receiving here, especially when she is an adult itself.

Any advice is more than welcome.

Do you think a child should be told that they are autistic? The reason I ask is because I know someone who recently found out that his kids were autistic. The oldest child(m) has been diagnosed with it and is aware. The second child(f) hasn't been diagnosed because mother is in denial because its her only daughter. ( Child wanted to know why was they different from other kids and the mother told her that she was different is because she is an introvert)

I have had a lot happen over the past year or so, from high likelihood of being autistic (awaiting diagnosis results) to my wife’s undoing at how I just am to being fired and finding a hybrid/remote job. Our boys are on the spectrum (not diagnosed) and have been homeschooled their entire lives by my stay-at-home wife except for the short time they were in school, which didn’t work out for them.

My wife has been their main contact for over 10 years and they don’t have really any friends. Their only people to talk to emotionally and other are just her and me. Having the opportunity to work at home now gives me time to be with them much more than before. She knows I have stepped back from the kids since she was the primary caretaker and I was the provider. Our kids need more now as they are older.

My concern is that I have been such a “in the background” dad that it is difficult to “feel” out situations. I’m not a good conversationalist and emotionally I’m rather ignorant (kids are similar). To better communicate, I have created reminders on my phone to do certain things. However, I still have difficulty really connecting to the kids and I feel I am failing them and my wife over and over again. I often forget concepts of discussions my wife and I talk about that would help me overall. My executive functions suck.

I don’t know what all I’m looking for here. Maybe I just need to get this out. I have no close friends to talk to about all this. I have set up time with a therapist who works with autistic adults, but that’s later. I want to be there for my boys and wife. I want to be better for myself so I can be better for them. I want to not be seen as someone who is easily walked on, but as a source of strength emotionally. I’ll keep using my reminders and interact more with them. Hopefully it becomes more comfortable and natural. Thanks for your time.

Edit: My wife and I had another argument last night and this morning she was still seething. She told me to look up “passive father” and “passive husband”. She even spelled it all out. The first result is a video by Oliver Cowlishaw. Holy shit that hit me square in the chest. I’m off to learn more about that.

My daughter's AuDHD and in second grade. She's very academically bright - taught herself to read at age 4, tests way above grade level in math, reading, vocab, etc. - but she hates writing with a passion. She hates almost anything involving a writing or drawing implement, in fact. She refuses crayons entirely on sensory grounds - she says they make her hands sweat. Sometimes she'll draw or color with markers or colored pencils, but she much prefers playing with clay or sculpting with other materials, like making things out of pipe cleaners, rolling up tape to make 3D shapes, and so on.

So I'm at a loss. I know I had problems with my writing grip when I was that age, but I also loved coloring with crayons and drawing, so I wasn't starting at a disadvantage in hand strength and actively hating the feeling of making marks on a page, like she is. We always encourage her sculptures and crafting ideas (well, almost always; my husband hates letting her go wild with tape) to help build her fine motor skills and hand strength, but it's just not translating to actually writing.

I do know about dysgraphia, but given her reluctance to even attempt writing, I'm not sure we can fully rule out lack of practice as the issue. I just don't know how to get her to practice. Fine-point markers? Really cute pencils? Has anyone dealt with this for themselves or their kids?

A little background: I’m a level 2 sahp of a 25mo and 9mo. My older child is speech delayed (glp in stage 1) and we have an educator from our state program that comes once a month to give tips (she tries at least). I mask…heavily. Also sorry if this is jumbled and not thought out well, I am struggling. I’m posting to vent to people who hopefully understand, but also for any advice.

First: I am struggling. I am in the midst of autistic/parental burnout. I’m not a cryer, but I’ve cried so much lately. I’m irritated, angry, depressed, overwhelmed, overstimulated, and just exhausted. The only other family we have around us are our younger siblings who we can -sometimes- rely on for coming over to talk/hang out. Our two friends do not have kids and neither do any of our acquaintances. I never wanted to be a sahp, but with how insanely priced childcare has become these past couple years I had to. Our house is in disarray and I hate it. I can’t think because of it. Cleaning was my happy activity because it’s active and the progress is visual. I can’t easily clean because my oldest has meltdowns when I try. My spouse can definitely help more (they’re having a sit down with me today to hopefully divide and conquer everyday tasks) but they work full time so I still have to be home. We live in an area where for the next four months it will be rainy or snowy with little to no respite. I feel like I’m drowning and there’s no light at the end of this tunnel. I don’t want to do anything. I just want to be in dark and in silence for at least a week but I know I HAVE to do more and need to get out. I don’t know how we’re supposed to get out of the house with the weather (I hate driving or being in the car in the best cases) and I wouldn’t know where to go if we did. That brings me to my second issue.

Second: My oldest. They have been having intense meltdowns and abrasive stimming. I’ve talked to the educator about this, but she has been no help. “It’s just a toddler tantrum” “let’s just try to expose them to kids more” “let’s change their routine more and make them comfortable not being in control of the environment”. I am all for that IF they were having normal toddler tantrums. They are not. When they get overstimulated one of the first things is to scream (my watch has registered it at 150+ db for around 5-10 seconds) and then throw themselves down has hard as the can so their head hits the ground. If they aren’t able to thrown themselves down they hit their head on the wall or with their fists. Sometimes they will freeze like this 😱 and their whole body shakes just shakes. It’s scary. When I try to clean, they get upset because I am moving things and also not in line of sight and this exasperates these issues. More than that, specific to when I’m cleaning or they can’t get their point across with babbles, they have started to hurt their siblings. I’m talking grabbing hair hard enough to pull up from crawling position, throwing baby/toddler furniture at them, putting baskets over them to trap them. It’s scary. They don’t like loud places or loud noises in general, so that limits being around other kids because they get overwhelmed. In kid settings when they start to get overwhelmed they start hoarding toys and putting them in a specific area and get very upset when kids touch them. They start to try to be with the adults because they know the adults will pick them up and remove them from the ground with the other kids. Because of this they appear to be very social to our educator. I am so sure my daughter is also neurodivergent, but I can’t seem to convey the severity of this to them. Like I said in the beginning, I heavily mask so even if I’ve been having a complete meltdown thirty minutes before them arriving I am smiling and in my customer service voice when they do arrive. My oldest needs so much more support than a little speech advice to us parents once a month, but because they’re not seeing what we do aren’t being given that. I don’t know what to do. How do I get this taken seriously?

I’m so tired and I can’t keep going like this. None of us can. What resources are there? We’re on state insurance and I feel like that might limit things. I don’t know. I’m just so tired. I just need help for all of us.

She’s wanted to do ballet for a while now, but we haven’t gotten her lessons yet because she doesn’t want to wear the ballet shoes. She has extreme sensory issues with socks and shoes, so ballet shoes are obviously not a comfortable choice. Has anyone found a brand that is more comfortable or similar shoes that would work for a kindergarten ballerina just doing it for fun (we don’t expect any kind of competition or professional dance at any point, so the shoes don’t need to be a certain kind)

My son was recently formally diagnosed (though we had known for a while) and is in the process of getting an iep. Up until a month ago for reasons we don't understand, he started having bad tantrums where he would self harm himself, but he's been getting alot better about regulating himself and expressing how he feels. We were just informed that for the second round of evaluations at his school, the teachers agreed to prod him into a tantrum to "show them what they're in for", and this decision was made without any input from his mother or I. Now this doesn't sit right with either of us or the other family/friends and I want to know if this is standard behavior or something to report.

Tldr; school wants to intentionally make my son have a tantrum by upsetting him to that point

Edit: hes 5 years old, probably should have mentioned it

Can anyone tell me if this will get better and when? I have 3 kids, oldest of whom is a 4 years 9 months old autistic boy (but I suspect they are all autistic) and I'm also autistic myself.

There have always been challenges but after he turned 4 things seemed to get better. Now everything is spiralling out of control again. He hits his sisters, orders everyone around, does things he knows will get me angry like turning off the lights when I'm trying to change a diaper. He wants everyone to obey him all the time, even with little stuff, like he tries to order that his sister has to drive a toy car around inside the house instead of walking. If someone doesn't obey, he will go into scream mode and hit us or throw stuff.

I try to stay calm, explain things, protect his sisters. It doesn't help. It seems to me he doesn't understand others have feelings too? Like he doesn't care at all if someone else is hurt. This worries me a lot.

I'm just really, really tired. If anyone could tell me things will get better I would appreciate it. And it would also be good to know if things probably won't get better cause then we need to get some help. Also if anyone knows how to handle life with him better it would be great.

My partner and I are both autistic and newer parents. We are struggling in our relationship. My having a meltdown will trigger theirs at times and we have opposite needs for coming out. We love each other very much and have been together a very long time but parenthood feels like it’s breaking us. We both are trying our very best but I’m so afraid the demands are going to cause us to separate. It’s the last thing I want and I really don’t know how I’d survive it. I love them with all my heart. I really think we would both struggle so much more separately but we’re trying everything and still have these meltdown issues. If you have any support or advice, I’m open. I may not have the bandwidth to reply but know that your supportive or encouraging words would be really helpful at the moment.

It's one of my child's main safe foods. 🫤

Can anyone recommend a useful video or book that for explaining autism to a 7-year-old? Her older brother is autistic, but being level 1 we've had a hard time explaining it to her.

I am wondering if anyone has issues with smells particularly diapers or pullups that their children have? I went through a burnout and my husband had to change most of the diapers and I'm just wondering if I'm alone or if there are any suggestions on how to make it better because I don't want to be useless

I have 3 autistic children and I'm autistic myself. My 10 year old regressed and is in pullups but mostly can change himself now and my 5 year old is in pullups and is level 3 nonverbal

Need a heat check to see if I'm overthinking or what... and social norms and expectations are not my strongest suit.

My wife and I moved into a new neighborhood a few years ago and across the street from us is a family whose daughter is the same age as ours... lets call her Susie. Susie's parents are nice, but trying to get to know them has been difficult because while our kids are the same age, the parents are not the same age as us, and being that my wife and I are both neurodivergent in our own ways, our ability to carry on small talk and casual conversation is severely lacking.

Susie and our kids have reached school age, so now that they go to the same elementary, they've become more familiar with each other, and frequently go to each other's houses, with Susie coming over here more often than not.

It was great at first, knowing our kids have always wanted a friend in the neighborhood, but they're starting to share our annoyance -- this friend rings our doorbell. A LOT.

It rings as soon as we get home during the week. It rings multiple times a day during the weekend. Even if we're clearly not at home, the doorbell will ring and ring.

I would be more than fine with letting Susie over to play if she was just kind of a polite but socially awkward kid, but even though my kids enjoy playing with her, she can be a little bossy and rude. My kids will get upset with something, and I'll hear Susie invalidate them immediately with a "it's not that big of a deal!" or "no one cares what you think!"

This doesn't sound like normal kid behavior, and I'd feel weird about bringing this up with her parents being that we're not super close to begin with.

However, this neighborhood, even though it's populated with younger families, our kids are by far the youngest, so they don't have a lot of options for other friends to hang around.

I just wanted to know... this constant need for playtime... is it normal? My kids almost never go ring Susie's doorbell, because invariably Susie constantly makes herself available. And both Susie and my kids don't understand why I have to draw a boundary sometimes and say "no, even though it's 5pm, Susie can't come over because it's too late at night".

When I was a kid, I had friends in the neighborhood, but they were always a street or two over, so it was easy for my parents to say "we're not having friends over on a school night", and all I remember is playing with friends either during the summer when school was out, or on weekends during the school year.

Again. Maybe I'm overthinking this. But maybe someone here can provide their experience?

First of all thank you to the participants of this sub. I've had a read through the top posts of all time and identify with so much here.

What follows is a rant about my experience so if you don't wish to read a lengthy rant, this post won't interest you.

I am a 32 year old male, undiagnosed but having an assessment this week. I've had my suspicions about being autistic for around 5 years, due to the way I see the world, and experience emotions and senses. If any of you have seen the Netflix show Love On The Spectrum, there is a charming scene in the first (Australian) series where a young man is stressed about wearing the incorrect socks before he proposes to his girlfriend. That scene made me burst out crying as I unlocked a feeling about myself I couldn't previously explain.

My whole life I have expressed a lack of desire to have children. I don't like the sounds they make, I didn't like being a child and I just don't see their benefit. My black and white thinking causes me to see a lot of things in life as "valuable or invaluable" I don't see how children add value to my life in any way so resolved not to have any...

However my wife always did and I did not see a way to continue my life without giving her what she wanted. We lived a nice life, with lots of money, a nice house in a nice town and 4 or 5 holidays a year. I did not want to, nor could I afford to, maintain this lifestyle by myself, so I gave my wife what she wanted.

My little girl is 14 months old now and I am struggling to the point of being suicidal. She was born 15 weeks premature and spent an arduous 6 months in hospital. I don't know whether any of you have ever been to the NICU but I'm telling you it is a form of Hell I never want to revisit.

The first 6 weeks or so were run on pure adrenaline and getting used to the new routine. At 6 weeks old my little girl became critically ill with an infection and we almost lost her. The NICU haunts my thoughts and the images and sounds will never leave me. I have never experienced anything worse than seeing my daughter dying in front of me. After an urgent operation my daughter was left with a disability which we are able to manage at home.

At around 4 months old (and still in the hospital) I began to realise how much the noises were bothering me and how much anger they caused. I began to wear earplugs when she cried or if noises in the hospital were getting too much.

Flash forward to today, I have sacrificed everything for my little girl, to get her out of the hospital, to learn as much as a nurse knows, to operate her medical equipment, all while doing everything a Dad of an able bodied, full term baby does. After all that sacrifice I can barely stand to look after her for 30 mins a day without snapping.

I hate myself, I think about killing myself every day. I had an inpatient stay at a mental hospital for 3 weeks around a month ago. It was hugely beneficial for me to learn so much about myself and they gave me the tools to help me get better but it's so hard to put that into use in the real world.

I don't want to be a Dad, I never wanted to be a Dad. I can't stand being me. I don't necessarily want advice from this post, I just wanted to rant.

Thank you for reading.

My son was getting his formal diagnosis today and this was in the packet they gave his mother, i was not present and am having a little trouble comprehending it.

I can't post the photo for some reason but it's for his sb5:

Brief iq: standard score 97, percentile 42, 95% confidence interval 90-104

Hi all. I am autistic, and my son is too. He is obsessed with everything electronic, not necessarily watching anything more than playing with buttons and seeing what it does. He is nonverbal too. I'm wondering if any of you have any safe apps he could mess or play with? I would prefer he plays with anapp then him dialing 911 again or putting my phone's language in Chinese. Again.

Thank you.

TLDR if you wached kids content that displayed emotions and feelings in a sort of over exaggerated way, do you think it helped you understanding and recognising emotions? I need some positive storries of you all growing up for my own parenting as best as I can as Autisitc mum of a possibly ND kid.

My 3.5 yearold likes to wach Blippi and othere kids shows like Pinkfong that show hightend reactions and emotions. Like a character is suprised and instead of just looking suprised they act out the emotion by a jump and over exagerated facial expressions. I dislike both of them. But I realize that its manely cuz I grew up with out a TV and my Mother was VERY vocal about hating anything that wasent seren, slow and nicely animated and sort of quiet. Preferably with real ppl and scandinavian, european style. Especialy anything Mangastyle was shamed as utterly stupid. I wasen't allowed to wach most things my cousins got to wach like Sailor Moon, Teletubbies, Pokemon and co. So at some point I decided that my daughter is allowed to wach stuff I don't like as long as I don't finde the content actualy problematic. And while I want to punch Blippi in his face, I see nothing problematic with the message. So she is allowed to wach it. She is not allowed to wach Cocomelon and its banned on the TV app cuz I just finde it to be comolet sensory iverkill and solely designed to get kids adicted. I have a degree in childcare, so I am pretty knowledgable about kids and initialy wanted to follow the "no TV bevore 6" ruel... well, we made it to 18 monrhs with out screens and there are no tablets or phone games.

I struggle in the mornings, I resently gave birth to my second child and all through out the rough pregnancy my toddler got to wach ALOT more TV in the mornings. She usaly walks away and goes to play and isen't glued to the screen, but it is turned on ubtill lunchtime. If I have a particularly low day more. Everyone keeps saying I shoulden't worry and just to make my life as easy as I can right now having a fully breastfed newborn and all.

Now my mum (who hates the kids showes my daughter waches a d shames it) visited today. My daughter is very sensitive, as was I as an undiagnosed autistic kid, she dosen't like to wach anything that is sort of moving. I love bkuey, but the teary scenes will make us both cry and she dosen't like it when she gets emotional cuz it overwhelms her. I do a lot of talk around that and teach her skills to understand and recognise and regulate her emotions. As well as I can cuz I struggle with this and had to learn it as an adult lol. I am prowed on how well she can communicate allready.

Since she has become a big aister, she is slightly more fragile oviously. And in an amount that is pretty normal. She comoletly adores the baby and shows no jelousy, but lets me know when she wants/needs me and I do my best to finde time for her alone. I bring her to bed every evening cuddeling or reading stories. But of cours she gets less attention now.

This noon my mum came over and agreed to let her come over to her place. She was her usual bubbly slef and wanted to show lots of things including some dance and song she learned from blippi. My mum diden't realy let her show it and ofcours its frustrating for a 3.5 yearold to be no öart of the conversation for 45minutes when she was very excited to see her granny. She diden't comolain much and was alltogether just her reasonable self. But when she asked me to tie her a hairband out of a tie she olayed with and I asked her if she would like some more actual hairbands she nade a TV worthy theatrical jump backwards and exclaimed "no!!! I don't want more hairbands" but with all her Dramatic force she hit her hand on a chair and hurt herself. My mother was visibly annoyed, she tends to be in the favor of "nothing happend, its not that bad stop crying" method. I am not. For good reasons. So I picked her up aknowledged that she got hurt and took 2 ninutes to comfort her. She calmed down quickly and I returned to my conversation with my mum. But while we talked my toddler let out a wimoer every now and then. It was clear to me that she isen't badly hurt and the wimpers she makes are pretty fake, but I know she is using thsi time to fill up her mummy batteries and reasures herself that I am here for her when she is hurt. I asked her if there is sonething she needs from me since she still makes little squiky noises. She saied no she just does it cuz of her hand. I saied allright then, a d gave her an other option of running cold water over it. Yea well long storrie short, when she went to get sone pants to go to my mothers place, My mum saied she only acts so dramatic cuz she sees it in the TV....

I don't know. My mum struggles deeply with emotions her self. (ND family, I am the first diagnosed lol) she does her best and reacts way more emoathetic and patient with my daughter than she ever did with me. Manly cuz she saw me act driffrently and diplomaticaly letting her know that we are the adults and should bring calm to a toddlers caos instead of escalating it by shaming or gaslighting them when they struggle to selfregulate. She only now is learning to set her own boundries and recofnise some of her own deep emotions at 64... it sometimes feels like parenting in all directions. Parenting my mum, my child and my self 🙈

Hey guys, im pretty sure my Dad has ASD and I urgently need some advice. We work together every day.

About him. He’s always been very emotionally distant, he has never given praise, has always not liked any physical contact(hugs) with me or my brother. He gets really angry and frustrated really easily over very little. He doesn’t have really any friends and likes to spend a lot of time alone. He is unbelievably smart (we’re engineers) and the list goes on. He was born in rural Ireland in the 70s so a diagnosis was never going to happen.

Im currently sitting in my room crying my eyes out at 24 years old after doing a little research on this. I feel so unbelievably guilty and horrible. I’ve lashed out, been so nasty and probably made him feel like complete shit on so many occasions when it probably wasn’t his fault. Even recently I’ve nitpicked on small things he’s done that is of absolutely no consequence to anyone and criticised things when I’d no need to. I feel like a complete cunt.

Im neurodivergent myself (ADHD, diagnosed at 21yo) and I’ve had so many of my own struggles. I understand that sometimes people like us just are the way we are and we can’t help it. It’s in our brain and I feel myself now releasing all the blame and hatred I’ve directed to him.

I fear it has fucked me up too, I’ve spent pretty much my whole life up to this point trying to impress my Dad. We like the same things and excel in the same subjects. But with me getting overwhelmed so easily by mundane things (common in adhd) and him being unable to show good or bad emotion it was always going to end in disaster. I have brutal anxiety and depression but I am seeking help from a therapist.

We still work together and I obviously love my father very much. I want to run rn and give him a hug. Has anyone got any advice on how I can make up for what I’ve done and how I can deal with him and our clashes going forward. I don’t want to cause him or myself any more pain through a strained relationship.

Thanks in advance.

My little girl will be 2 in February and we highly suspect she's on thw spectrum, we started noticing about 4 months that something seemed off with her. We are seeking appropriate avenues and plenty of doctors are agreeing with us. It's just so hard and I feel like I'm the only one in the world. The meltdowns are awful and sometimes I just wished she was "normal" or wondered what I did wrong or why god put me here in this situation. We struggle with hitting, screaming, kicking. You name it it's probably happened. I just feel so lost and like I have no support, most of my family has come around and are trying to be supportive, but my aunt and my MIL don't seem to get it and want to "pray the autism away" like I've tried educating them told them everything. I have no one to vent to who understands, I'm so jealous of my other friends and family who have "normal" babies and children. I'm doing everything for her that I'm suppose to, therapies, doctors, specialist. I just don't know what to do and most days are great but the meltdown days all I do is cry.

It started when we brought our 4-year-old to a classmate’s birthday party. A bunch of his classmates were there but he had zero interest playing with them or talking to them. And then it started to sink in. He has an excellent vocabulary but very odd speech patterns. He likes to repeat phrases over and over. He can’t focus on activities in school. He can’t sit still. He runs off with no sense of danger. He can’t hold a crayon or a fork. He has to be specifically told how to eat and get dressed step-by-step.

He’s very gifted though. He can read, even very large words. His number skills are advanced and can do simple addition. He is very well-behaviors in public and has no problems with new people and situations. He’s almost completely potty-trained.

I’m AuDHD myself and have struggled with rejection-sensitive dysphoria, avoidant personality disorder, and treatment-resistant depression for years. It feels like the responsibilities of being a father and husband are “too much” for me, and I don’t have any spoons left to perform well at work or reach out to friends or try to be affectionate with my wife.

Looking at the facts, I can see he’s made progress toward independence, but I can’t help but imagine a future where he needs constant supervision, where he can’t focus in class and can’t do homework, or get himself into some kind of danger because he’s “stuck in his head” and has no awareness of his surroundings.

This came to a head in the last week. We have a newborn going through a 4-month regression, so I’m not getting much sleep and she’s refusing to eat. And my wife had to go to the ER for a day. I’ve lost all my patience and I’ve been screaming at my son for not listening, screaming at my daughter for not going to sleep, and fearing that I’m becoming a danger to myself or my family.

My wife has issues with ADHD, anxiety, and insomnia. We have basically no support network, no friends, no grandparents. We’re on our own with two “difficult” kids and are struggling.

I now know that my rage and outbursts are likely because I’ve been trying to taper off my mood stabilizers because I thought they weren’t doing anything. Turns out, they were. I might need something stronger because I still had these reactions, just less severe and less frequency.

I’m not entirely sure why I’m writing this, maybe it feels better to get these thoughts out of my head, and maybe some of you have been in similar situations and have successfully made it through. I love my wife, I love my daughter, I love my son, I see so much of me in him, he’s creative and hilarious, but it makes me so sad that we live in a world that’s not built for us and I don’t think I’ll be able to guide him through it.

And it is not going well. I can’t even get her calm enough to get hooked up. She’s got her sleep meds, but she’s not at all interested in sleep.

It was super bad as soon as we got here. The tech wanted to hook her up, and she just started screaming. The tech tried quieting her by saying “there’s other patients here!” Like that means anything to an autistic, terrified 5 year old.

I’m questioning if I should even keep trying this. Should I just say “ this facility is not equipped to facilitate the needs of my autistic child”? It’s true, but I don’t want to just scrap it and start over either. I have like 20 minutes before I have to make a decision. What do I do?!

Playing with dog vomit as if it were Play-Doh. It was everything to use my sweetest voice to declare "looks like someone gets a third bath today!"

While truly foul, I was impressed at how he rolled it into a tight little ball. Look like that OT is really paying off. 🫠

(And yes, the dog is fine. He's just a spectacular masochist who tried to eat gummy bears when he knows they make him sick)

As context for why this was so stressful (apart from maintained close contact with POOP WATER), I deep cleaned the bathroom this morning. Like I’m talking on my hands and knees with the scrubbing brush kinda cleaning. And now I have to re sanitise all of it. I feel too overstimulated to write at length about this but basically I was bathing my son earlier and about half way through the bath the water got this green tinge to it. there was green soap in the bath water so I thought the colour change was from the soap (STUPID, STUPID, STUPID) and the poop itself remained concealed under all the bubbles. So I happily continued, sitting on the edge of the bath with my FEET IN THE WATER half way up my calves for a good 20 mins while my son giggled away.

Then I went to get him out and we found three big turds in the water. As well as a whole host of medium and small flecks of poop floating around. I had to fish out the big hunks of poop with gloves then do my best getting little bits out before draining the bath. While it was draining, a soft bit of poop we’d missed got caked in the plug hole and we had to clean it out which took a while. Omg… So the boy got cleaned up first of course, then I threw out all the bath toys and some shampoos that had been floating in the water. It’ll cost £13 to replace the shampoos alone…. Then I cleaned the bath and the floor which had had poop water on it. Then showered myself and went out to buy a toothbrush to clean my engagement ring with. I feel sick to my stomach and super super stressed at the unexpected experience as well as the fact that all my cleaning this morning was for nothing.

I’m having a hard time answering this question for my almost-5yo. She has very fine, wavy hair that has to be brushed every day or it turns into a rats’ nest.

Like many of us, I have a hard time following rules unless I understand why we have them. So I’m struggling to articulate why we have to brush our hair in a way that she can relate to. If I say, “Because your hair looks messy,” she’ll answer, “But I don’t care.” And I can’t argue with that, because it’s her hair.

Personally I keep my hair short so I don’t have to brush it. She wants hers long. I know it sounds asinine, but can you help me come up with reasons why we brush our hair and don’t leave it all ratty? Asking here because I know you all will understand.

Our 5yo has been toilet trained for one year (& started school this September). Has regressed! It’s so frustrating/ disheartening. Tried everything. Been going on for 3 weeks now. Any help appreciated. He just messes himself. We got him checked by the doctor. He said everything is normal physically. We need new tips or just support please. Feels so lonely. He still wore nappies to bed and he’s began wearing them again in the day this week. Not sure if that’s good or not but honestly ran out of clean underwear/ clothing!

I have a 4-year-old, 2-year-old and 8-month-old and we all probably have autism/ADHD. I stay at home to care for them. At the moment I've usually got things under control if we stay inside the house. I really want to take them outside before noon but when I tell the kids we will soon be going outside they go ballistic. They get really agitated, start running around and won't do anything I say. It often seems impossible to get them get dressed. I somehow manage to dress them with everyone screaming bloody murder and when we finally get out I'm exhausted.

It often feels like it is so tiring to get them outside that I shouldn't even try, but I don't like staying inside all the time either. Does anyone have any advice?

Hi, I hope it is okay for me to post here. I am a researcher and am recruiting 13-16 year olds via their parents for a survey about gaming, gambling and live-streaming. If you have children aged 13-16 years old and are interested in them taking part, please follow the link for more information https://swanseachhs.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_9v5aR4p2e0f4ymW

So for context my daughter is 4 with level 3 autism with limited speech. The last week or so, she has slowly and slowly trying to fight sleep. The last two nights have been the worst. She’s knows she’s getting tired and starts acting aggressive, hitting, screaming, self harming, trying to get into things she’s not supposed to, throwing her AAC device. I’ve tried everything to calm her down, nothing works. She will literally act like this until she falls asleep. Tonight, after several advice, I gave her a melatonin gummy, hoping this would help. I gave to her 3 hours ago and she’s clearly deliriously tired still throwing a tantrum. And a new one tonight is she won’t keep on her panties, she keeps throwing them off or “going to potty” but not actually using it to avoid panties. She NEVER has acted like this before, her teacher said she doesn’t act like this at school so I cannot point where this random outburst is coming from. I am at a loss, and i am unsure how to help her.

My son talks every day about his best friend, and today she was at the playground. I introduced myself to her dad and exchanged numbers with him. I hated every single minute of it. I'm so proud of myself.

So I (21f) am a single parent to my son (2m) my sister in law (21f) moved in with me to essentially be a second parent. It's been pretty good so far, she works while I stay home and pick up occasional babysitting jobs. However lately my health physically and mentally has been really bad and I've been bedridden most of the day which means the chores have been super overwhelming. I asked to talk to her this evening and I want to know how to go about the conversation of needing more support around the house without implying that she isn't doing enough or that I don't appreciate what she is already doing. For context I have pots and heds