I'm not sure if this is an autism thing or a me thing so I'd be interested to hear other people's experiences. I find it really upsetting that Christmas starts so early now. If a Christmas advert comes on TV, I have to mute it. I won't go shopping around my birthday at the end of August because if I see Christmas or Halloween items, it upsets me. It's gotten to the point where I don't want to celebrate holidays anymore at all, even at the appropriate time. I haven't figured out the reason it bothers me so much, but it definitely disturbs me more than it should. Is it just me or does anyone else think about this? It's basically on my mind from August onwards, and then January feels like a huge relief

Im undiagnosed but im pretty sure i am on the spectrum. This happens to me, though not frequently.

I feel weird, but i dont think theres anything physically wrong with me (but full disclosure im the worst at noticing when there is)andy brain isnt acting like it normally does. My inner voice is at a constant 9-10 and theres a lot of self narration. Its quiet and almost spacy and a tiny bit floaty. Im not on any medication and i have no health concerns that i am aware of that would lead to this. I also never drink or do any sort of drugs.

Some symptoms that i have which i thought were just me being weird turned out to be autism symptoms that suprised me. Could this be another or am i just being weird.

I know we all have a favourite utensil, and we also have the utensils that are just a absolute no, so i thought id show yall the fork my partner has to use for dinner tonight, it's definitely not my favourite 😅

I have a job interview on Tuesday and I’m so nervous. I have been preparing for it and wrote some stuff down that I can go over like questions I may be asked etc, but I really find it hard to concentrate and I’m worried that I haven’t done enough, or that I’m just going to forget everything on the day. Anyone have any tips.

She dropped it on the floor, told me but didn't apologise, then yelled at me when I cried.

I've found (by some amazing coincidence) someone selling a set of 6 of them on eBay but I messaged to ask if they would accept an offer and they said no, so I'm going to have to watch the auction and hope that nobody outbids me. I didn't tell them why I desperately want them because I didn't want them to think it was a sob-story, but now I'm wondering if I should have done.

I'm sad.

Content warning for diet and weight loss talk

I don't know what else to call it. I have this issue where sometimes (a lot of the time) if I can't have a specific food that I'm craving, usually a safe food, I just don't eat. It's not really a choice, it's like any food that's not my safe food is repulsive and unthinkable to put in my mouth. Normally this isn't a huge problem as I'm an adult and can choose what to eat and generally I crave real food not like candy and junk. However.

I'm very overweight due to pcos and chronic pain issues that have prevented me from getting proper exercise (I am in physical therapy) I met with a dietitian last week that has put me on a pretty strict diet. Low calorie low fat low sugar low carb, no more than like 120g of meat per day (or 150g of white fish) 90g of brown bread only, etc.. now the food stubbornness is a massive issue. My dietician doesn't want me skipping meals, but god. It's so hard. For example I want to have sushi for dinner tonight (my biggest safe food) but I can't because of this diet amd because of that I'm just laying on the couch crying and feeling shitty instead of having something that I am allowed to eat. This has happened multiple times already and I've only been on this diet since monday.

Also there's a loud part of my brain yelling "you're still going to be hungry anyway so what's the point in eating at all? May as well just not get any calories"

I'm not sure if this is just a *me* thing....but I've realized over the past few years that I really dread in office appointments, especially ones that are more focused on personal grooming.

I love to have clean teeth and clear skin and healthy hair, but:

• Salons: loud with bright lights and I always struggle to get the stylist to listen to what I want. Also, I'm exhausted by the small talk when I'm done and even if the haircut turns out ok I feel like I'm going to cry when I get home and I always have a headache.

• Teeth cleanings can be super painful and also people want to have small talk with me while basically they have their entire hand in my mouth. All of the drilling noises in other rooms sets my hair on edge. Also, super bright lights right in my face.

• Facial / body grooming appointments: these are longer appointments, and often more intimate. I have been going to a woman who just wants to rant to me about bizarre things during the entire time. My skin looks great but I literally dread interacting with her.

• Electrolysis: I started electrolysis for the weird hairs on my chin. It's pretty painful. Jury out on whether it's helping. But again, this woman just blathers on and on and on senselessly right in my face and I have to be polite and nice.

I think mostly I'd like to sit in silence during my appointments and wish I could have headphones on, but then I worry I'm going to be rude. I'm good with small talk when I'm out walking my dog or whatever, but these specific appointments really upset me. I have two coming up tomorrow.

Does anyone have favorite silverware? I’m looking on Amazon because I need to purchase a new small set and some sets just feel wrong. I’d imagine I’m not the only one.

Sets I can buy on Amazon only please.

I'm wondering if it is a common experience for people that have autism.

Here are some examples:

I was bullied by other kids starting in elementary school.

My mom and I used to go to the same nurse practitioner. I noticed when we went together, the nurse would be nice to me. When I went by myself, sometimes she would be mean to me. One time when my mom went by herself, the nurse admitted that she was mean to me. I didn't give her any reason to be mean. She never apologized.

A certain clerk at a grocery store is nice to my mom. She is snotty to me. For example, when I gave her the reusable grocery bags, I said, "here are some bags for you". She said they weren't for her, and explained that I would be bagging my own groceries. It doesn't make any sense because the clerks always bag the groceries at that store. I am not snotty to her.

i swear it’s always women that are too sensitive, too much, and i’m sick of it. i’m sick of the passive aggressive ableism in every conversation. i’m sick of being called immature when im just trying to speak. “too reactionary” “temper tantrum” “acting like a baby” it’s never enough!!!!!

For me, I tell them that i spent my weekend reorganizing my yarn stash and they respond with "Oh I'm jealous!!" and they really are.

Not much more to add to this….all I can think is do people not understand co-morbidity ??

Like none of this is surprising or spur of the moment, no one has just ever listened to me the when I tell them what’s going on and provide them with detailed evidence and research. I know it seems like OCD explains everything I do, but I implore you guys to realize I’m not doubling down on wanting an autism diagnosis for fun— I just don’t want to wait YEARS (again) for someone— a medical professional— to listen when I talk to them.

Please, it took me long enough to accept and understand my autistic symptoms; don’t immediately retract your thoughts and try to convince me that it was this all along when I’ve spent countless hours researching, ruminating, questioning, and tracking everything about everything to be 10000% certain of this before attempting to open my trap to another living soul about this (when I’m rarely taken seriously as is).

Autism finally explained things where my other diagnoses did not, and if anyone would’ve payed attention or respect sooner we wouldn’t even be here. 🙄

My SO and I both have autism however SO has unmasked far more than myself and their support needs are much higher than my own.

I help them with a lot on a daily basis and helped them through a grueling 2+yrs to get through college. They never acknowledged everything I did to help them through college but their shitty father did and he even thanked me which was shocking but nice.

I don’t even get a random “thank you for everything you do” and it’s just been really, really making me feel like shit lately. I try so hard to be understanding every single day of what they go through/how them feel but just some acknowledgment here and there would make me feel so much better.

I have tried to talk with my SO and they just don’t seem to get it which makes me feel used. I turned my life upside down to be their caregiver and just feel they don’t want to acknowledge it and it’s causing resentment.

Is anyone else in a similar boat? If so, how do ya’ll cope?

I’m wondering if anyone in Canada has any advice for an alternative to a holter monitor that could be used to diagnose heart issues that doesn’t need all the cables and stuff.

I have severe sensory issues as well as adhesive and nickel allergies and we tried a two week holter monitor 10 years ago and it didn’t go well, it led to a horrible meltdown after putting it on that led to a neighbor thinking someone was being murdered and called the police and from there it didn’t get much better. I couldn’t wear it consistently enough and couldn’t wear it to sleep and after being up for 2 days ripped it off to get some sleep. After getting it back on again I ended up taking Benadryl and cold Tylenol and sleeping the better part of the next two weeks to keep myself from melting down again or going completely insane. After 10 days the allergic reactions were becoming infected from all the unintentional scratching and not being able to remove the allergen, and I took it off and walked myself into the hospital to show them…. They got enough data to diagnose me with SVT but 10 years later I’m in my late 20 and pretty sure I have POTS and need to go back for tests, I have an Apple Watch and I wear it in medium amounts but I do have to take breaks from it, but through the Tachymon app I’ve been able to reproduce a POTS episode consistently (heart rate jumping 30-50 plus beats when changing from sitting to standing)

So I’m just trying to figure out how to be able to do this holter monitor again and having it be successful without adding to my medical PTSD . Any options within Canada would be best because that’s where I am so I imagine all countries have somewhat different practices and equipment available.

I could not put my own hair into a ponytail until the week before I started middle school (age 11/12.) My mom was tired of having to do it for me before swim team so she made me practice for 30 minutes. It was so hard to get my fingers to move the way I wanted when I couldn't see them. To this day, sometimes it takes me a couple tries to do a basic pony. I also can only do a standard three strand braid on my right (not left) side. If I try in the back, my hair ends up in tangles.

Not being able to tie shoelaces is a well known stereotypical trait of autism, but this is a similar fine motor skill issue that should be considered as well. But most little boys don't have to learn how to do pony tails, so as a zillennial girl I guess no one made the connection.

(And yeah I could tie shoelaces, but hated doing it so my mom eventually just started buying me Sketchers. Also I wasn't sure what to tag this, but wanted to share in case anyone else could relate!)

I am so excited! The practice offers counseling, psychiatry, and autism evaluations! My college counselor (who is amazing but I can only have 7 sessions a semester with) knew this doctor and contacted her directly, and she had openings for me!

I didn't realize how real it was until I just filled out the paper work!

My family has suspected autism in me since my brother was diagnosed when I was 10. My assessment i got when I was 13 was negative, and for years I accepted that. However, I still struggled and couldn't figure out why, and therapy barely helped. When I heard about autistic masking after being on an ADHD medication, I started looking into it again and now I'm finally getting help I've needed for years!

This is just the next step, but I am so excited for it!

I hear people talking about it all the time. It helped me significantly but other times I feel I’d be better at life by masking.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s done wonders for me to learn who I truly am, what I want and to live more authentically to myself but at some rate we must learn to reintegrate masks. As with most things it comes full circle.

How has your experience been?

I cannot stand reheated food. I prefer to eat all my food cold or in combination with cold food like pasta with a salad. I only ever reheat food if it's frozen. Yet I get this same question every time I sit down to eat leftovers. "Heat it first", "Are you gonna eat it cold?", "It's better to hear it". No! I'm sure y'all out there who prefer your food warm no matter what get similar snide remarks. You can't win.

On a serious note: It's incredible how many autistic traits I have that have just gone unnoticed. It feels like suddenly realizing the hoove prints in your kitchen could be from a horse and realize you've been living with a pony for 30 years without anyone noticing.

Hi I've been on the wait list since May, does anyone have any idea how much longer I might have to wait for my assessment?

What will the assessment look into? Will it just be an autism assessment or will they be able to assess me for ADHD or any kind of mental health issues too? Will I have to do that seperately?

I was considering going to the doctor about social anxiety and PMDD. Would I be able to talk about all those things in my assessment (and get prescribed medication for example) or would it be better to just make a GP appointment? I feel like if I went to the GP they'd refer me to a psychiatrist or mental health services anyway. I'm not sure what to do.

If anyone has been in my situation I'd really appreciate hearing from you.

I’ve come to realize that my crush took advantage of me.

At first, he seemed really nice. I told him I was inexperienced, that I’d never even had my first kiss, and he promised we could take things slow. But that was just talk. Over time, he got more aggressive, and I went along with what he wanted because I didn’t want to lose him, especially knowing he had other girls interested in him. I went down on him twice—and I still haven’t had my first kiss.

He started acting bored with me and even said he wouldn’t speak to me again if I didn’t do what he wanted. Looking back, I can’t believe I went along with it, but I also don’t blame myself. I didn’t ask to be pressured like that—he made that choice.

Now, I worry a little about how a future partner might react if I share this experience. But honestly, if they judge me for it, then they’re probably not the right one for me anyway.

I would explain everything that happened, but I probably shouldn't air out my business like that.

that’s it. that’s the post. that’s the rant. i guess ill just stay a quiet people pleaser

As it’s mostly unconscious I think it’s very difficult to identify in which situation I’m masking if I’ve done it all my life.

I found some “questions to ask yourself” but I don’t find them helpful.

How did you do?

Between the music, lights and smells I actually cannot.

I know I sound like a teenager. You see, he and I are in grad school, and I always thought he was cute, but I never thought he was into me like that. I just always have to initiate conversation with him, and there are people he almost prefers talking to. He’s introverted, but I’m even more so.

If it weren’t for his rare moments of kindness, I think he’d hate me. But one time I spilled my coffee all over my desk, and he went to the men’s restroom to get paper towels to clean my desk. Another time, some classmates wanted to go to the farmers market after class. I didn’t want to go because I was really tired. Everybody else was already walking, but he was the only one that waited for me to make a decision.

I invited the whole class to my birthday party. he was the second person to confirm that he was coming to my party. Keep in mind he lives 30 minutes away from me.

i swear every single time i find a new safe food the company either discontinues it or they change the recipe. i really like the hidden valley spicy ranch, got a new bottle yesterday and it tasted different. i had my partner look it up and sure enough they changed it. it was so good before and now with the change i can barely eat it. same thing happened to the cookie brand at my local store. they tweaked their recipe and then the cookies were just disgusting, way too much oil and the cookies then had this gross aftertaste. why do companies do this? if it’s not broken, don’t fix it! not to mention all my favorite safe foods that have been discontinued, i think it’s happened over five times in my life. it just makes me so upset. now i’m off to find a new safe spicy ranch lol

I’m keeping this short because I could write a novel about my sadness from being single that I feel could not be fathomed by someone who’s neurotypical. I’m 24, and have never had a boyfriend. The closest I’ve had was a relationship between myself and my male best friend, but there was so much nuanced involved that I am not going to go into here.

I feel like every one I know is in or has been in a serious relationship. I’m sitting in the backseat of a car (I am on a roadtrip) and the two women in front of me are in relationships. I’m so fixated on it and it’s partially ruining the trip for me even though their partners aren’t even with us.

I just crave intimacy, mental intimacy more than anything. I can’t imagine a man ever even wanting me, I’m conventionally attractive, to be blunt, I’ve been told all my life I could be a model, I’ve often been compared to celebrities or attractive cartoon characters, but I’ve never been approached by men. I think unapproachable. I know sometimes I have that “autistic gaze” that makes people think I don’t want to interact with them.

I feel like this is the most pathetic thing I’ve ever written but I don’t even know what to do at this point. So many women are getting married or getting pregnant and I’m just stuck. I’ve tried apps and get immediately turned off because of the nature of them. They feel so forced and the men want to go on dates within two seconds of messaging me. I know that’s how most of society works but I’m not like that and I hate it. If it was that simple I’d have a boyfriend by now. But I don’t want to just date anyone. No I don’t have some stupid Cinderella fairytale image of a relationship, and actually even if I did is that so bad? So many women have said they have found THE ONE, it’s possible. It’s not just some stupid Hollywood hullabaloo so many people preach.

This mindset has plagued me since I’ve been about 8. I’ve always wanted a boyfriend. I’ve always wanted to be accepted unconditionally. I’ve always wanted to be seen as the most beautiful girl in the world and to be a man’s number 1 desire.

This is so embarrassing to write and post I am just at my wits end. It hurts even worse when I see autistic women in relationships. What makes me so different? Not a second goes by without me getting stung with the reality that I don’t have a boyfriend or husband. And not to mention being single just makes life harder plain and simple. I hate not having someone to help support me in my life, I haven’t even gotten into the fact that I’m the caregiver of my brother who’s also Autistic and has PTSD but needs more support. Which is no issue it’s just hard, I go to work then come home to no one and then have the extra responsibility of making sure my brother is ok mentally and taken care of.

I’m sorry if any of this sounds offensive, I’m like I’d just blinded by rage and sadness right now this is genuinely a cry for help.

First of all, I am sorry if this post is against the rules, secondly, this is my first time posting here and I am not too sure which flair to use.

I have my diagnosis appointment tomorrow, and I am afraid the psychologist who will evaluate me won’t see what I see. It is also my first time meeting them but they are supposedly specialists in women with autism.

I am not sure how I would feel if it turns out it really was just in my head (like all the people but my father have told me). I will also feel bad for wasting my dad’s money.

Any advice on how to handle these feelings or stop my head from looping around the same thought?

Thanks you!