So I've been a massive Taylor Swift fan for the past 12 years or so and one of my friends (who is a huge Formula 1 fan) has been sending me F1 edits to Taylor songs that he's been getting on his TikTok for you page. He joked that this was his master plan to get me into F1 and it has actually worked! I've been researching F1 and watching races for the past couple days and I'm fully invested now. I'm so excited to watch my first race of this season next weekend!

I've been having a really rough time with the transition out of the uni school year plus dealing with some physical health issues on top of the stress of moving in with my brother so a new interest to get excited about was exactly what I needed. Please feel free to infodump below if any of you guys are F1 fans, I'd love to learn as much as possible :D

Do you recommend? Might be a dumb question but I feel like the gaze of a bunch of drunk strangers wouldn’t really phase me the same way other customer service jobs do (knowing theyre drunk and probably aren’t judging me too much).

I want a night owl job. Idk I just wanna hear any experiences good or bad.

I (F16) would consider myself pretty good at masking and socialising, but I’m finding it hard to make friends and keep them. I treat people well and ask questions about themselves, their hobbies interests etc. and often they are happy to talk about themselves but it is never reciprocated. I see people being very self absorbed and rude making friends and I don’t understand why I can’t but they can. I follow all the social rules and try really hard but it just feels like everyone knows something I don’t and I feel constantly excluded within my own friend group. I feel like they don’t want me around ever, and I feel needy for even trying to interact with them. I feel annoying, like a bug or a bit of gum or something. I don’t feel entitled to anyone’s friendship but I don’t understand why no one likes me enough to try. High school is supposed to be about socialising and friendship but I just don’t feel like anyone likes me or wants me around and it kills me because I have so much love to give and nowhere for it to go.

I don't interact with people much anymore and make friends and carry conversations. I just can't carry a conversation without making it awkward or going silent. I'm aware that I do this but I feel like it's impossible for me to connect with people and make friends and be in a relationship, because that's something I really want! 😕 I used to have friends and I could carry conversations but I can't even have a proper conversations with anyone, even family without going silent and my mind going completely empty and having no idea how to continue conversations. Its honestly ruining my life. Anyone else deal with this?

I have heard this word before but never really had a deep, full understanding or dive into it. This is what i have been living with for about 8 months. It has been so intense and complex that I am almost unable to put it into words without writing a damn novel. After all of the research I’ve done and coming to this undeniable conclusion, i feel so guilty, embarrassed, and sad lol. Obviously I didn’t choose for this to ever happen. The worst part is- developing this self awareness about the situation won’t even like change it. I don’t know what to do.

I was invited to a baby shower once and I bought a few gifts off the registry. I didn’t realize that one of the gifts I bought must’ve been added to the registry by mistake.

It was like a strap for a backpack or something very not gifty lol. Luckily I’d bought the mom to be a few other things too. But when she opened it she was like, huh?

🙄 my brain sometimes…

I work with a bunch of women and none of them like me and I don’t understand why. I feel like I’m very nice and I go above and beyond to be friendly, but it’s just never well received. I am one of the few women in my job who is not of color (I’m Hispanic) and I can’t help but think they dislike me and never give me the benefit of the doubt because of that. I don’t have the same background and culture. I feel so beaten down because no one is friendly to me so I just shut down and don’t talk to anyone anymore. Idk if it’s because I’m fucking weird or what. No one really knows about my autism diagnosis and…. I don’t know. I’m just rambling at this point. I’m literally sitting in the bathroom waiting for my shift to be over because I don’t feel welcomed to stand around with everyone. I feel so overwhelmed every day because no one is nice to me and I don’t know what to do anymore 😞

Thanks to this sub, I realized I might have symptoms of PMDD.

I’ve been feeling down for the last few days and I started my period today. While on my drive home this evening, I logically felt fine yet couldn’t shake the feeling that I was about to burst into tears. There was no foundational reason for me to be upset but it felt like my entire world was about to come crashing down. Sure enough, 15 minutes later I was sobbing. This happens every single month like clockwork. I thought it was just regular PMS until I saw the statistic that 92% of us experience PMDD.

My partner says that all of our arguments occur at roughly the exact same time of the month and I agree that I become significantly more “needy” and sad right before my cycle. I feel fatigued, have lower self esteem, and a couple of the other symptoms. Not only is it unfair to my partner and my relationships, but I’d like to improve my quality of life by hopefully mitigating some of this hurt. Has anything helped you? For background, I’m not currently on any form of birth control. Thanks! 🤍

I am trying to talk to more people, but I do not think I have good conversation skills. I need to know how do you focus the conversation on what other people are saying? Like, how do you choose what is the most important subject to talk about? Do you just choose what is most interesting to you, or what you think the other person wants to talk about? How do you know when it is okay to just ignore one part of what another person said? When is it okay to bring up your own stories in relation to what others say?

I usually talk with AUDHD people, so mostly we just bounce off of others statements and choose something that reminds us of something we want to talk about, but neurotypicals like when you ask questions and do not talk about things unless prompted, which I find difficult because I just do not have questions. The problem happens when I end up talking by myself for 20 minutes and the other person just does not interject, but also I do not understand why they don't.

This question is mostly about texting, because I get anxious because I feel like I am not asking the right questions and I do not even know what to ask about. I have been told a lot that I come off as rude because I do not ask others about themselves, and I am trying to change this as I start trying to work. IDK if this helps, but I am an adult who was late diagnosed at 21, so I never got therapies for social skills. If anybody can answer any of these questions I would be very happy. I cannot figure out the correct wording to type into google to find answers useful for me.

I am looking for a dress to wear to a spring wedding, must be floral to match the theme. I found one but people are divided on if it is too close to white or not. The other option was knit, which I don't think is appropriate, but I'm not sure. Does anyone know of any places to get a semi-formal wedding guest dress that is flattering and sensory-friendly? I struggle with things that are scratchy, too close to my neck, or with like droopy off the shoulder straps that rub.

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I'm self identified I when to a con today it was very cool I was "nervous " but my dad said I was excited? So I don't know who is right but it was cool but after I was done I had to take off my costume and my shoes and stuff I felt gross now I'm just in my bed the whole day (except showing what I got to my family) I'm feel "dead" but my family was like oh you did so well you didn't need anxiety meds! Stuff like that so I don't even know if my issues are serious enough or ever since self identifying ( only with myself I've only told my brother but he than got annoyed) and my issues are worse ish??? My family told me to stop faking and I tried but it came back and than it made me this "stop being autistic you dumbass" I think my therapist was like "just support them" so they are a lot nicer but I feel like my issues are not real or "bad " enough ( I know I'm being stupid and desperate like a dumbass I'm sorry)

I originally thought this was a universal experience with noise but now I’m wondering since I just had it with something else. Whenever I hear something too loud whether it’s at a concert (had to bring ear plugs last time) it’s almost like I’m physically feeling static in my ear and I cannot hear as well when that happens. Now, I also have a bit of a bug phobia and just switched my gecko to dubia roaches per what the vet said for him. I fed him successfully, yay, but any time I felt icky, if they moved in a certain way or if I saw their undersides I got that static sensation thing so now I’m wondering if that’s just a general sensory overload thing??? Share your experiences below!

i received my anxiety diagnosis in 2022 but it seemed of to me, like it felt like something was missing and my old therapist limited herself to this. since my teenage years i felt there was something wrong with me, especially because i had an abnormal difficulty to maintaining friendships, finding a romantic partner for me and even dealing with myself. in high school, alongside being awful in mathematics and studying hard for my exams, i had a profound disconnection and discomfort with myself, so much i developed an extremely low self esteem and attempted twice.

i used to trust my parents a lot but after coming out as a lesbian they switched their attitude towards me and destroyed my mental health (that’s when i started refining my masking and camouflaging skills).

as i moved to another state, i had contact with many autistic people stories and related to them way too much (that’s when i started to think i’m autistic). then i met my current therapist and she confirmed i have many autistic traits but they’re unnoticed to an inattentive eye.

even though i don’t have a formal diagnosis, i’m still pretty shocked but at the same time i’m relieved, even though i’ve never seen myself as an autistic woman, i feel like i’ve finally understood my entire life and now i allow myself to have hope for a better life.

currently i’m pretty hesitant about telling my parents about this discovery. they’re ok with autistic people, but i’m afraid they’ll deny it because i don’t fit in that stereotype of autistic people or they’ll even have a negative reaction just like they did when i came out. i understand there’s nothing wrong with it, i just don’t trust them that much to believe they’ll accept me and support me. i pretend to move out to a bigger city in a couple of months to study and do an exam to get in college (i’m brazilian and this how it works here) and i’m worried that my autism will make them think i’m not capable of taking care of myself.

so my question is: should i wait for the formal diagnosis and tell them right away or should i just receive the diagnosis, be quiet about it and wait for some time to finally tell them?

I (32F) am late realized, self diagnosed. I also have ADHD. Aside from my partner & family, I have kept most of my self realization journey to myself.. I have also decided against getting a formal diagnosis.

I have a friend with an ASD nonverbal 4 year old. She also has an employment background as a behavioral aide. She and her husband jumped through mental hoops to avoid acknowledging their son’s condition until their ego’s couldn’t let them anymore.

For context, I have used humor towards myself as a means to cope with my realization of being autistic. For example; the fan is blowing at me and it stresses me out due to overstimulation. I laugh and say “it’s the autism”. Not joking but making a difficult situation lighter. I think this friend has always dismissed me in this situation thinking I’m not autistic

Recently, we had a conversation about going shopping and I mentioned how I struggle in public to deal with being around people. She suggests ignoring them. I say “not super easy when you’re autistic”. This starts what will turn out to be an argument. She immediately becomes defensive, accuses me of using autism as a loose term and tells me I’m being disrespectful of what it “actually means” to have autism.

I tried to neutralize by saying she was mistaken since I haven’t shared this part of my life with her, I am not joking and that I didn’t appreciate the accusations. She still continued to blame me for her emotional reaction and basically told me I am invalid without a proper diagnosis.

Tw: child loss

I'm keeping this vague for sake of anonymity ofc. And sorry if the flairs were overkill. :x

I have a friend/acquaintance who recently experienced child loss. They have a toddler. I have a toddler and a young baby. When I go visit this friend for an activity for our toddlers, I'd like to ensure I don't overstep in any way. I'm just very bad at handling grief, for complete lack of words. I'm worried if I try to talk I'll say something odd and make them feel worse, but I'm also worried if I don't say anything it'll feel callous / heartless.

I've expressed condolences and reached out a few times prior to check in on them.. Kind of let them know I was there even if they didn't want to talk

But I just am unsure of how to really behave in this situation? Even if I copy what someone else tells me to say I'm terrible at masking so I don't know what my face is going to do. And what if I accidentally say it in a weird tone? Or I forget what I was supposed to say? Ffs. I know I'm over thinking but I don't want to accidentally make them hurt more.

hi! I've heard people talk about having issues with fine motor control movements and I've been able to perform such tasks ever since I was a kid successfully. at least when I get started.

BUT, very often, when I have to perform fine motor control in a repetitive task, I start feeling as if I'm gonna explode on the inside. and if I force myself to keep going, I become very anxious and agitated until I'm no longer able to perform at all anymore and I feel a meltdown coming. it happens with typing on a keyboard or my phone but also while writing by hand, chopping vegetables etc. it's scary because sometimes I will actually make a not completely voluntary movement so I have to put my knife away if I'm chopping something. the only relief that at least somewhat works is shaking my hand but it doesn't make it go away.

is this autism related? does anyone else experience this? does it have a name, how do i find some help for this? thank you so much!

Anyone else have or had a unique smile? I found pics of me 5 and under and in all of them I feel like I look so happy. My face is all scrunched up and I basically made my mouth as wide as possible while my teeth are still together. Now I do a neurotypical type smile for photos because thats what I've been taught to do but I feel like it never looks genuine to me

My phone was set 24 hours behind somehow so it literally had me a day behind all week. It was supposed to happen yesterday but since I thought Friday was Thursday, I didn’t show until today. It was humiliating. The manager oddly ended up getting called in on her day off so that’s why she was there. what makes me sick also is the familiar looks of disdain and contempt from the other employees “oh no, she’s weird.” And I already am picturing the end! But it’s more realizing that- am I going to need to accept being treated like a second class citizen forever? When I know that autism doesn’t make me any less?

At this Starbucks they’re all trans or gay and it’s like what am I not the right kind of different to deserve respect? I’m a cis straight woman Oopsie daisy guess I’m basic- I’m just assuming now but I’m starting to feel like there’s almost a brand of “woke” that I don’t fit into because I’m actually different. I’m not against LGTBQ+ I’m actually an activist for that- but it just feels like if you’re not the brand of weird that’s cool you’re just off. I don’t know why this is, but sometimes I will be super sweaty and have blurry vision- and it makes me feel like all my body should be doing is laying in a dark water coffin filled with ice water and listening to Marconi Union weightless for 15 hours a day.

Anyways I spent all day being in waiting mode and then was super anxious but went anyway, and that left me at like 30%. They rescheduled me for tomorrow (I got my phone fixed right away), and if I felt confident enough to ask for my needs to be met as an ND person I’d ask for it to be postponed until my spoons return, maybe next weekend. Why don’t I do that? Because it will be humiliating having to hear that same bewildered tone. I’m so tired and I have been thinking about suicide. Is this all there is going to be?

I’ve been going to group therapy for nearly 1.5 years now and I have never fully settled into it. Its not what I expected at all. I thought we’d take turns to talk and share, and the therapist would offer advice and round it off at the end. This isn’t what happens.

We are a small group of women and a group facilitator. No one says hello or welcome, we just sit in a circle and wait for someone to talk. The facilitator rarely contributes and when she does she speaks in metaphors and it often doesn’t make sense. If you ask her a direct question she’s very resistant to answer and acts like she needs to analyse it.

The other people are nice but I struggle to speak and when I do I don’t look at anyone and always get misunderstood. When others share, they seem to get lots of questions and support. But when I do, I just wish I hadn’t. And then it moves on very quickly.

I told the facilitator I was finding it hard to know when to talk and it would help to have more structure (meaning if she could interject more so we aren’t just sitting there going on). But next time she didn’t say one word until 15 minutes before the end! Maybe she didn’t understand what I meant, but it just made me feel like they aren’t willing to accommodate for someone like me.

Whenever I suggest leaving the group they say that I’m giving up on myself. And it does feel like that. So I end up staying. I can’t afford 1 to 1 so if I do give it up I’ll be left with nothing. But then it’s not really support anyway. I really don’t know what to do.

If you read this far, thank you so much! Any advice appreciated :)

I met someone but they dumped me, I guess. We weren't really dating? I don't know. He was excited and said he thinks we have the same brain and I said yes I agree and it was so easy to spend time together and I could have spent time together every day forever that way.
He was really wonderful. I hope noone dates me again. I keep crying but I have to go to work.
Does anyone else wish you could just skip all the bullshit and dating and get married and feel safe with your safe person and get along and have a good life together? Before you answer please imagine that this hypothetical person feels great to be around and is all green flags and no red flags. Like, really.
In my case I'm too homeless and sick and stressed out to be any good I guess. I don't known I have to stop crying and go to work. Sorry. I am always going to be judged unfavorably. I am tired of being evaluated just for existing.
In good news I'm running out of people to lose from my life so probably the rate of attrition will decrease soon.

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I don’t know why (ok I know why, Instagram) but lately I’ve been fixated on the fact that I don’t have enough girl friends. Specifically a group of girlfriends that all hang out, and take pictures, and go to brunch and the like. But I have girl friends they just don’t hang out like a group. They both have separate friend groups they hang out with and do all those things with, but I don’t. Why do I care so much? It feels pathetic but to me it’s like the thing I have to accomplish to feel fully accepted. The NT women in my life all seem to have this and I don’t know if I’ll ever have that and it makes me sad. Does anyone have experience with feeling excluded in this way and how you dealt with it?

Do I stop trying? I tell myself screw everyone, you’re the only one you have to be with so it only matters if you like yourself.

But that’s not true. The way people perceive you affects every aspect of your life. I am a good friend, I’m a good person. I’m empathetic (to a fault), I’m considerate. I would drive hours in the middle of the night if a friend needed it. All I do is try to make people happy. All I do is try to be nice. And you’re probably thinking “well no one likes a people pleaser” oh no.. I used to not be. But people would get PISSED, LIVID. when I DARE try to so much as question them. But that’s their problem right? Wrong. They go and tell everybody else in the building. I’ve had to quit jobs before because people hated me so much. I’ve pissed so many people off so badly without even trying.

What the hell do I do. People have told me I seem anxious and maybe that’s a turn off… but I don’t feel that anxious talking to people. But I do kinda have this perpetual feeling of being less than. Everybody I speak to it feels like an interview and hopefully they think I’m cool afterwards.

I don’t know. I’m 23F. I had good friends in high school but now that I’m out and unable to make any friendships… I’m starting to think I’m just a freak. I’m just weird and annoying and nobody wants to be associated with me.

Ugh.

My bf (of 3+ years) and I often do separate things by ourselves. His thing is usually gaming with friends and we have a bedroom that basically just has his computer so we can be separate cause he can get loud. I usually just watch TikTok or my YouTube show, read, draw, dance, things like that. When I feel pretty I like to make TikTok’s and take selfies just to keep in my drafts cause I find it fun and it boosts my confidence. I don’t even send pictures of myself to my bf unless he specifically asks because I find it embarrassing

Anyway, my bf keeps doing this thing where he comes out of his room to say hi to me between games. like of course it’s sweet and I’m glad he wants to see me and all but at the same time I’d rather just spend actual time together than him popping in randomly. Plus half the time he’s kinda quiet coming out and I’ll be in the middle of making a TikTok or some other activity I find embarrassing and feel startled. Idk I feel like I’m being “caught” doing something. I just can’t enjoy anything unless I know no one is watching but now I never know when he’ll come in the room so I always feel watched

Just a minute ago he really startled me and I guess I showed it on my face. Thinking back I probably looked annoyed but I really wasn’t I’m just always caught off guard. Then he said something like “I just wanted to give you a kiss/I thought you would want to see me” which made me feel guilty. He did apologize and said he’ll give me personal space to chill but I feel like he just doesn’t understand and he’s gonna think I don’t wanna see him or something.

I hate that I still feel the need to mask around my bf and not do the things I enjoy around him :/ it has nothing to do with him and everything to do with me

Having my picture taken is so uncomfortable!! I have no idea what to do with my face. Full smile with teeth makes me look feral, a small neutral smile makes me look disinterested, my eyes are either accidentally closed or too wide like I'm surprised, etc.

My fiancé and I are getting married soon (tiny courthouse wedding) and the thought of having pictures taken is stressing me out because I know I'm going to look unhinged or bored when I'm actually really happy!! I just want one picture where I look relaxed and natural and my inner joy shows on my face. :(

Please give me advice or at least commiserate with me about wonky pictures...

This is by no means a serious rant. But I have no where to say this besides here. Anyway I just think it is so strange how NTs interact so shallowly with media. Everything's unfinished. They don't finish games, shows, books. They never seem to get very engrossed with them. They enjoy things for a few hours or days then it's dropped. I don't know why, but it seriously distresses me haha, like I simply don't understand not throwing yourself completely into what you're doing and letting it consume your entire life.

I have built my entire social life upon masking, and even worse, masking kind of differently with every friend/friend group. That not only gives me major anxiety whenever to of the “worlds” collide (aka they meet each other) but somehow people I’m friends with tend to develop beef with each other. The reasons for this are probably more complex but the biggest one seems to be this masking thing which makes it so all my friends are on completely different wavelengths from each other. Anyone else?

I cannot stand stores that are jam packed with a random assortment of unorganized items and you have to actually look at every single item to know what it is and what size/color/brand etc. It stresses me out so much I can’t do places like that I don’t understand how people shop there or how people thrift because the process of finding something you like is so insanely stressful. Like nothing is the same brand or style everything is different there’s no rhyme or reason to how the items are organized it’s basically just a free for all hunt for something you like in the massive unorganized pile of products. I like going to target or something where I can just look at the aisle and know exactly what’s in it and what everything looks like without sorting because everything is the same and it’s organized and makes sense.