So my partner does chores on my behalf and I'm very grateful and try not to complain however I do things for myself in a really particular way and when done differently it really bothers me and I wish they weren't try to be helpful and I'd do it myself. Also problem is that if I need to do things myself I'm so busy with work that I may not get a chance for a while and my partner will not wait for me

How can I be reasonable about them helping and get to a point where everyone is happy and I don't feel like starting everything from the beginning. I've communicated in detail all aspects of the routine but things are still wrong

Hey all I have a younger brother who I love dearly but we have radically different communication styles. I’ve always talked a mile a minute and I ask a lot of questions because I want to make sure I’m not overstepping or doing something wrong because I just can’t read most social cues. However my younger brother rarely shows any emotion and I’m lucky if I get a yes or no to my questions. This really stresses me out especially if I’m leading an activity like going to the aquarium with him and I want to make sure he’s having fun and then when I get stressed it kind of ruins it for everyone. I’d love some tips on how to communicate better because he’s an awesome kid and I like hanging out with him.

Hi,

Im writing this as my sister an I are barricaded in our rooms from my 16 year old brother. He’s not diagnosed with Autism, but when we go to the hospital the first thing every person asks is “is he autistic”.

He has the mannerisms and the behaviors (and more) when we compare to other videos and behaviors of autistic persons. When my mother tried to get him a diagnosis and they gaslit her and said she was “just spoiling him”. He only got an ODD diagnosis.

If the fact that he doesn’t have a an official diagnosis puts you off, please don’t read this. I’m stressed enough.

My mom died in 2020. We’re poor so we couldn’t afford the legal fees to become official legal guardians. But we’ve been caring for him all this time. He lives with my sister and I. Today I am at my Witt’s end.

We’re low on food (going when I get paid) and my brother wants eggs to eat. We said we can’t give him any. He went straight into fight mode, and my sister and I had to flee the kitchen and go to our rooms. When my sister got to her room, he stuck his foot in the door and kept trying to open it over and over again.

The only thing that stops him is when she teaches a live class, so she played a recording of a previous class. That got him to stop. Currently he is in the living room coloring in silence. He never does anything in silence. He’s listening and waiting for her to stop.p so he can confront her again.

He refuses to eat unless we get him eggs. He hasn’t eaten all morning and won’t take any alternatives.

In the last 3 months we’ve had 2 hospitalizations for him. The first they sent him home, the second they wanted to keep him temporarily but said they weren’t sure they could find a facility for him so my sister and I would have to stay at the hospital for days until they had a place for him and we weren’t allowed to leave because he’s a minor.

My sister doesn’t drive. We have pets. We have jobs. We can’t stay at the hospital with him for days on end until they find a facility. We can’t even take shifts with him because my sister doesn’t drive. So we took him home.

For the last 3 months we’ve been calling agency after agency for mental health care. No one will take us. They say they don’t treat kids like him, they say they don’t prescribe medication, they say he has to consent even as a minor to the mental health care.

We are at a dead end.

My sister is 5’4 110lbs and I’m 5’5 130lbs. My brother is almost 6’ and over 200 lbs. he fractured both my legs 3 months ago and I’m still healing from his last episode.

We’ve called the cops and all they can do is take him to the hospital. We’ve taken him to the hospital and they usually just send him home.

He’s going to kill us. My death will be because my brother didn’t have eggs for breakfast. (This is not part of his routine)

And no one will help us.

We applied for legal aid to get guardianship, they are not taking cases where I live. When we go to the hospital no one has any help or answers for us. The numbers they give us say they have a waitlist or can’t so anything but talk to him. He can’t be TALKED to he’s completely unreasonable.

We have no idea what to do. Sometimes we have to hide the knives and scissors for fear he’ll use the, on us one day. He’s going to kill us.

We don’t know what to do. Advice?

Hello, this is the first time I feel like I have friends at work. A new person joined the team I work with and we clicked immediately. I feel comfortable with them and our personalities mesh well together. My problem is, I don't want to come on too strong. We have had a few short texting exchanges and have sent each other memes on social media. I want to continue to foster this friendship but I don't want to push them away and be overbearing. What should I do? Any advice is helpful!

Hello!!! This is my first post on reddit and I was wondering if anyone else who writes and is autistic has noticed that they may or may not prefer presenting non autistic individuals. Neurodivergent? sure! Autistic? hm i don't know, I've especially noticed it with two ocs of mine in a story of mine, one who is a autistic coded 38 year old trans guy and the other who is a 42 year old woman.

character A (Allistic) like i feel like A acts in dumb and impulsive ways at times, people think she's cool and intimidating as hell but tend to get kinda annoyed by her emotional nature and "childish" ways when they know her better, so she hangs out with "losers" in her free time, she gets along with her coworkers and they really appreciate her but she knows they won't appreciate her the closer she gets to them she's for sure not neurotypical but shes sooooo not autistic in my eyes, but that makes me wonder if i just have a stereotypical view of autistic people and if she IS autistic coded but i can't tell because 1 im autistic and 2 i might have an awkward perception of people with autism including myself

character C (Autistic) he struggles less with stimulation issues or texture problems if at all, but he struggles with knowing when he went to far with telling someone the truth, and would totally get in trouble in friend groups for being too honest and blunt which often results in rude confrontations and takes, but he also has a line he always stands on and puts his friends on and sees everything in a very fair way but it often pushes away sensitive people from him because if they would vent to him about someone he would look at both sides fairly, he also just has a huge special interest on the topics of being human and mental health, he went over his dillemas he confronted them and continued walking. but he also lacks some empathy in the sense that if people struggled with something he did, then he can't see why theyre still struggling. his most stereotypical things are that he loves fun facts and to info dump about stuff he learned, he's more of a stereotypical nerd than a stereotypical autistic person, which people could argue is the same thing but i dont think it is.

they're good friends in the story but the things I've been struggling with is realizing that almost all of if not all of my main characters, side characters and important ocs are ALLISTIC! and i'm confused on why. i am autistic, and i struggle with it. though I would not trade my situation with an allistic person ever... it just feels slightly strange as ive always found myself at peace with it except when it comes to writing original characters!

Ty for reading :> if anyone has any idea on why, or if anyone relates and or thinks that character A is autistic and i just can't tell,,, fell free to comment!

Have you tried to be without it for a while? Feel different?

we haven’t ever talked about this before, but are going on a vacation together soon and i was thinking about if i should bring it up (as i am also in the process of an assessment) or not? it might be something to bond over?

in my assessment i feel like they’re not really getting to know me, because pretty much all i do is fill out questionnaires and i can’t really talk about the things that actually make me struggle in my daily life.

has anyone else experienced something like this?

Hi all

Need a little advice on which headphones to get.

I went to my local electronic store and was able to test out the Xm4 and the Xm5 and the Bose quiet comfort I much preferred the Sonys noise cancelling, best I’ve ever tried honestly but my question was what is the difference besides price?

I’ve seen a lot of people say they prefer the xm4 and the €100 difference in price is having me lean towards them but if the Xm5 are better I’d gladly pay the extra price so is it worth it to get the Xm5s?

I’ve had anxiety (mainly social) for most of my life so i was very recluse for most of my life. After hearing other autistic people’s experiences/lifestyles during my late teens i felt like i was most likely autistic too. But i’m 20 now and since i started school ive become a tad bit more comfortable being social, so i don’t think i’m autistic anymore. Is this just a normal part of self discovery??

I watch a TON of YouTube on my TV while I'm crafting/painting, usually podcast-type stuff, informative things or craft advice...I've been subscribed to Premium for years now because of it. It was not worth having to grab my remote to skip ads every five minutes, it interrupts my flow and my focus.

Just so you know...that's almost 123 DAYS of "ad free content" i.e. how much I've watched since I started subbing. 😅

So i think clothes have always been one of my hyper fixations, i wanted to be a designer when i was younger but gave that dream up, but still am extremely into clothes. I struggle so hard getting dressed. What i need from a functional standpoint, what i like from an aesthetic standpoint, and what is best for me from a sensory standpoint are all completely at odds!!! Anyone else struggle w this? Whenever i talk to others (my peers: working moms) they DO NOT understand so I realize this is part of my ND self and I need to figure out accommodations. Also im currently breastfeeding so that is a huge limiting factor on what I can wear

I have a friend that I have known all of my life (~30 years) and I have been considering cutting them off for about a year now. Based on the following factors what would you do?

-Has been my best friend forever although I do not have the ability to emotionally grasp what that really means. I do not feel attachment to anyone that isn't family. I pretend to for the sake of not hurting other people.

-Our lives have gone in totally different directions since highschool. They have a bachelor's degree, an upper middle class job and a family. I have none of these things. I live with my dad and haven't worked in years.

-I anbandoned all of our mutual friends because they aren't the kind of people I would ever choose to be around. I was pressured at a young age to fit in with the "cool kids" even if I hate them.

-I am biolar, ADHD and autistic. I was always different but that was seen as cute until I became an adult and couldn't function at all.

-Now my friend has decided they want to save me while ignoring all of the evidence that I am already beyond saving. They have been giving me the "pull yourself up by bootstraps" routine. They definitely mean well but don't seem to grasp that they have no idea what they are talking about. They have it in their mind that I am some kind of genius with untapped potential. They won't let it go.

-Our conversations bring me to the point of melting down pretty much every time at this point. I'm so overwhelmed that I can't properly defend myself and end up feeling like shit.

-They say often say "I love you like family". I just say "yeah me too" because I'm so uncomfortable.

Is it time to jump ship?

Usually when I'm on the verge of a meltdown I breathe deeply and try to focus on one sensation I'm feeling deeply. It helps to narrow my focus to only feel soft fabric under my fingertips or turn on mellow music and hear each note individually.

However, I had a huge meltdown 2 days ago and I still can't seem to get a handle on things. Everything is making me cry. How can breathing make you cry?

What do you do to get your equilibrium back?

Is there anything that has a similar effect? I hate pulling earfoams out of my ears? But nothing is even close from what I have tested. 3M earmuff somehow let me down. Maybe I bought the wrong on? From earmuff, to earbuds, any suggestions work.

I'm talking about when the doctor hits you with a rubber mallet. As a kid they could never get much of a response, they'd tell me to do all sorts of techniques to try distract me and hopefully get some reflexive movement but it took forever. They'd just keep swinging until they got the tiniest twitch or sometimes just gave up before getting anything. Just popped into my head this morning and now I'm wondering if it was another overlooked sign of the tism

I am 66f, ASD1, working in adult education. I’m about a quarter of the way through my ICF certification program in Life Coaching, more in terms of service than as a business. My question: do you think a neurodivergent life coach could be of help to folks in the autism community? Thank you so much for your input.

I’m diagnosed, and I walk on lines. Curbs, bike lane devider whatever. I also walk on grass or dirt where I can. I can’t explain why, but I do.

I’m wondering if it’s actually my asd or if it’s because the soft ground is more gentle on my joint pain (possible EDs, genetics)

So do you walk of things other than the footpath, and do you have anything else that could be the cause

Whenever I'm happy I twerk a couple times

Hi all! As the title says, the main character of a story I'm working on is autistic. When I first started outlining this story, her personality stood out as a bit derivative from mine - and as someone who's been told by some mental health professionals and friends that I might be on the spectrum, I decided that I would commit and make this character autistic.

I've always been passionate about neurodiverse representation in media, and I've been trying to research autism and gather more knowledge about autistic people's experiences, taking inspiration from autistic childhood friends and relatives, as well. However, the more I learned, the more certain I became that I'm not autistic.

I relate to many aspects of autism through ADHD and social anxiety, but I find that there are many criteria that I don't fit. So, now I'm on the fence. I love my character and I feel (or I hope) that she has become much more three-dimensional since I first drafted her, as I'm consciously trying to break some autism stereotypes (for example, I had an autistic friend who was super outgoing and loved hugging people, she was sarcastic and a social butterfly, and inspired by this I made my character sociable as well).

I'm just not sure if I'll be able to represent an autistic character accurately and with respect, especially since some of her inner conflict stems from being ostracized and accepting herself as she is (which, admittedly, was inspired by my own history with bullying as a kid and being infantilized as an adult, but contextualized to an autistic person's perspective I'm not sure if this would come across as inappropriate - similarly, I wouldn't write about a Black woman's experience with racism as the central conflict of a story, because I'm not Black). Which is why I'd like to ask people here, what do you think?

I had a presentation today and got graded on a scale of 1-5 in different areas like vocabulary, structure, crowd connection etc. I got 5 in every other part but my voice was too flat, I didn't make eye contact or show enough emotion and passion, basically just didn't really mask and got a 3 for that. Apparently if I masked I "would be unstoppable". I'm not yet officially diagnosed so I can't get accomodations (I don't know if they would change the evaluation criteria anyway) but I think these things shouldn't be graded at all on anyone. Why should anyone have to put on a "talking persona"? Just let people present the way they do, the other parts are way more important. They even said they could see I was passionate at some points but apparently it didn't shine through brightly enough? So my way of being passionate is wrong and not enough?

That 3 won't affect my overall grade and is a decent grade anyway, I just think that it's wrong to grade those things.

I have a little track record for aggressive people in the street fighting me.

Last night some teens were shouting at my friends unprovoked and I didn’t ignore them, I told them to go away - they continued shouting stuff, whereas my friends just ignored them.

And today on the tube in London a crazy guy was shouting at me unprovoked saying he will kill me. My girlfriend said I shouldn’t have looked at him, but I glanced at him a couple of times and he kicked me from behind as I got off. I think I’ve had some bad luck but I know I shouldn’t have even looked at them.

How can I be more sensible in future so something worse doesn’t happen?

I am a neurotypical woman and my husband has just been determined to have Asperger's syndrome. Which explains a lot of choices, but I have never understood his particular relationship to sexuality (we have sex for example once a month, but I cannot initiate with him because he is not the all receptive when I try to initiate.). Can you tell me how you, personally, initiate sexuality with you partner ?

If you watch porn, what please you in it ?

What excites you sexually as a person on the spectrum ?

Immunotec is an MLM company that sells protein shakes that taste bad, has a cultlike atmosphere, and I can't find much information about them other than that coming directly from them. Everything that my mother told me about them comes directly from someone associated with them so I can't even tell if it's legit or a scam. I'm at an Immunotec conference in Madrid and I already hate it.

They like to claim that it improves autism but they kept playing loud music and it hurts my ears. I swear the crowd was made to hold their hands up and meditate or something. Only I refused to do it.

It also had this feels good atmosphere and they like to speak of having a dream and being motivated and I don't know what (over a package of protein powder?)

It was a promo for their higher level associates, and my mother is nowhere near that, and I'm afraid that she'll stay like that and keep wasting my family's money.

She used to buy it for my autism and everytime I learned something people do, she brings it up and says that my autism is improving. (We know that's not how it works).

If my disease can't be cured then it has been a waste of time and money for me. I'm enraged and I regret having helped her make the first purchase.

I initially wrote this under a rant/vent flair.

You can help if you can tell me if you know anything about Immunotec.