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My girlfriend asked me to buy her some celery. The celery hearts were on sale and cheaper than the regular whole stalk celery.

Since celery is sold by weight at this store and not loose at all, the bag of celery hearts has two half stalks in it.

She used one stalk and wanted to know what plans I had for the other stalk. I was immediately confused as I bought it for her and had no use for celery at all.

I hate celery. I only use it in one dish that I make. I already told her everything that I’m making this month and that dish was not included.

That, and I just made something else the other night, so if I did make the dish with celery in it, the celery I bought her a week ago would be bad by the time I cooked again.

She immediately started yelling at me. Wouldn’t let me speak. Silenced me. Got super frustrated and angry at my confusion and bewilderment.

This spiralled into a loud argument. Over a fucking god damned half a package of celery. I still cannot figure out why she would assume that I wanted it when she asked me to buy it for her and I hate it.

Times like this are when I really feel the autism hitting hard, because none of any of this makes any sense to me.

https://preview.redd.it/5f8lm1xzj8ee1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=c141643999b584f75ad4498d45bedb215a6a76f4

Ok please allow me to explain myself here before you guys blast me, I’ve ranked my favorite forks left to right, I have more but I hold very little opinion on them so they don’t count. Forks 1 and 2 both suffer the same issues, they’re too light and feel flimsy in the hand, plus number 1 has a small handle so it makes it even less maneuverable. Fork 3 seems fine from the picture but it is deceiving you, the handle is a bit loose, the tines have been bent and re-bent so maybe times that you really can’t put much pressure on it, plus it suffers from the same issue as 1 and 2, too light. Fork 4 is a good fork, it has a bit of taper by where your thumb and forefinger go so it makes maneuvering very easy, it has actual weight to it and is balanced perfectly in the hand and has a nice textured surface as a bonus. My only complaint is the handle, it’s a bit thin and the corners on the bottom dig into my hand occasionally and annoy me, Lastly we have the GOAT, the three tined curved fork. Let me tell you why this thing is so amazing. The tines curve much more than other forks so it allows for better scooping, along with the fact the tines are thicker so it works better at holding the scoop than most other forks. It has the same perfect weight and maneuverability as fork 4, with the added benefit of the handle actually being round and thick so you can actually hold it good. it has a very defined area for your thumb and forefinger and can also act as an actual fork too and not as a weird spoon, I’ll admit it’s not as good at piercing as some others but it works well enough to the point where I can use this fork for pretty much all meals besides like crab where you need one of those itty bitty tiny forks

Ok you guys can make fun of me now

https://preview.redd.it/s4z7ezktz6ee1.jpg?width=742&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=116291dddfc50ee3dcace9a9377496e60c31b0db

One side is my favorites and the other side are my sworn enemies.

People keep getting surprised at how simultaneously picky and not picky I am with food, like how can I eat raw salmon but I'm really specific with apples.

I don't care about taste or the origin/nature of the food! Texture guys, texture!