I’ve never struggled with eye contact growing up, in my teens or early 20’s. Covid hit hard, not being able to be social, being in toxic environments has taken its toll on my well being. I’ve noticed the past 3 years I’ve struggled to make and maintain eye contact with people which has never been a problem in my life. It’s most noticeable on days my insomnia is bad when I don’t sleep, anxiety gets terrible. Never been diagnosed with Aspergers. Has anyone worked through this? When I make eye contact I feel as if my eye lids are going to go huge and give someone crazy eyes so reason of me avoiding the eye contact.

They accuse me of doing that all the time. Especially my neighbors. But if those same neighbors wonder why they have to worry about me being home more often then there’s a suspicious case where people outside of the neighborhood or by work had said the exact same thing my neighbors say. “Its the gay(no it’s not the homosexual kind it’s the urban insult) guy. He’ll see you.” Suspecting the neighbors spread too much of the word outside and not just with themselves.

I know this sounds goofy but my situation is intolerable. Has anyone ever run away as an adult? I am 28M and in live my own apartment, my entire family is super controlling. Even when I have my own money I am constantly being pressured into situations where I need to rely on them financially. They are incredibly emotionally abusive. I am thinking about just blocking them all and running away with the 2k I have. It would be moronic. I would still be on lease. Owe the grad program I’m in a shitload of money etc. I just don’t see any other way out of this. It’s been going on my whole life. I often lash out at their abuse and act nuts so If I drop off, I’m expecting about a million wellness checks. I am terrified of being taken to the psyche ward so that stops me from trying. My family is happy to break any laws (taking my car keys out of my hands, etc) and just claim I’m mentally ill if I try to report. I know that disappearing off into the sunset is not feasible in my position but Jesus Christ it’s miserable. Anyone got similar experiences or can relate? Feel free to DM or post in chat. Love you guys

Btw: if anyone here just needs someone to talk yo or anything feel free to DM me anytime

I have this and just found out.

Hey yall,

I was wondering if anyone could relate to this. I used to constantly need to stim orally, eating weird stuff like chunks of butter and still frozen chicken nuggets. I kinda moved on to just rubbing my lips a lot/sucking on hard candy. Anyone else do this or used to do this?

TLDR; I get into some events and facts of my life, and wrap it up with a message.

I was diagnosed with Autism at the age of two. This may have been due to developmental delays, amongst other things. I've noticed that some symptoms of Klinefelter's overlap with what I've been told before; regardless, I think I can safely say that I am very autistic.

I read through my old Special Ed documents. It seems that, from early on, I saw that my peers were doing things better, more efficiently than me, and it put a dent in my self-esteem. I was in a mixed-program, where Special Ed children mingle with non-Special-Ed children. It was noted that I would look at the progress my peers were making, and consequently rush through my tests. I worked too slow, or so I must've thought. 

While the other kids were friendly with me, in spite of my socially-unacceptable behavior as a result of being lacking in socialization... I think there was always a part of me that was insecure. I kept making blunder after blunder. I am unable to reverse these blunders. They are attached to me. I never learned, and was always slow to learn.

I also have sensory difficulties. Specifically with regard to sound. If there is too much unpredictable noise in a room, I shut down. If there is an especially grating, continuous noise, my brain spends a lot of resources on that noise, as I am unable to shut it out of my mind... and thus I shut down. Perhaps this was another factor as to why school was difficult for me.

Through the years, I put an earnest effort into becoming "normal", to the best of my ability. Good academics, and no "cringeworthy" aspects of myself leaking out. I never succeeded at masking completely, as I was utterly incapable of doing so, for various reasons. Why bother? Because I didn't want to be a r*tard. I wanted to prove everyone wrong...

But it was always a fruitless effort. Although I was able to do very well in school, the SAT, etc... it was at a great cost. I wanted a good number to my name, but I wasn't learning anything. Rather, regurgitating material, in the short term, to keep up. Spending hours ensuring that my essays were "correct". Because I didn't want to be a r*tard. I wanted worth attached to my name. At the sacrifice of my life. The precious experiences of youth.

My strategies were successful through High School. And then the final boss appeared... college.

I got into the Honors College at Texas A&M. Due to my SAT score (utter regurgitation), and an essay that my father helped with (later on, he pushed me hard to succeed, academically). I just so happened to be part of the freshman class where the engineering college raised the GPA requirement to 3.75. And, I didn't meet the bar. My short term regurgitation strategies did not work anymore. I needed a work ethic that I never developed. I needed to ask my professors for help and guidance, I needed to collaborate with my peers... but I didn't. I wanted to be independent, to do it all myself. Because I didn't want to be a r*tard. And I failed. The fact that I took certain honors courses didn't help either... it seems that they cared more about that arbitrary 3.75 number.

I transferred to A&M Galveston. Due to various circumstances, I developed severe psychological problems. I was isolated. I started hearing weird sounds. Thinking unsavory, paranoid thoughts. And near the end of a particular semester, I wanted so badly to drop out. I didn't want to do what I was doing anymore. I didn't want to do computer science... I grew to despise it. But I finished my finals, with Dad by my side.

And I took a break. 3 semesters, thousands of dollars wasted... in a fruitless grind. During this break, I was pressured into getting a job. After burning my soul in college, towards something I was not interested in... I didn't think I was ready. But, with some pressure, I got myself a job. I secured certain accommodations at the university I would transfer to. I enrolled in a different major.

I started taking certain meds. They often made me slip into a very low level of consciousness. Artificial retardation. As though the words of those bullies before were made manifest. I barely passed one semester, taking 9 credit hours. I quit my job. And, through the summer, I cold turkeyed my meds, and waited... with the hope that somehow, someway, I would get my soul back.

It was gradual. I am still unsure as to whether I am 100%, yet (I certainly feel a lot better than I did for the past 7 years). But... at least I feel like a person, once again. Alas, what am I left with, after all these years of turmoil?

I am in my early 20s. I still have a lot of life to go, but I feel as though a lot of life was thrown down the drain. I was happy, and then I became a half-way masked, self-isolating husk. I became a literal husk, on and off, for an entire year, due to psychiatric medicine. And, I still don't have a prestigious accolade attached to my name. I am lazier than ever, as I am sure is a result of a great imbalance in academic work/life, compounded by my stubbornness in refusing help for... anything. I still struggle to do things right. To do them with precision. To remember even the most mundane things. Perhaps I wasn’t taught some things, or, simply, it was always so difficult for me to function like every other human being.

But, I am growing to be at peace with myself now. I am forging an identity, of some sort, though I still notice some gaps which, if God so chooses, I would like to fill. I have some loose, unstable sense of purpose. I take pride in a few things, at least, now. If I were to die now, I think I would be moderately more content than I would have been years prior, because now, after all this time, I see the light in myself and in my fellow human beings.

I think I can safely say that my brain functions well in some areas… not so much in other areas. And that’s ok. All in this world have certain strengths and weaknesses, some external, some internal. No one is perfect. No one is a saint. Everyone is human, and that is the most valuable quality of all.

Take care. And may you find your niche, in this wonderful and bizarre world.

Like when it doesn't look anything like any of the schools you've ever gone to and feels uncomfortably foreign. And it doesn't matter how old you are/get, either; you still feel edgy as a 40 year old adult.

My boyfriend (we live together), was recently diagnosed with Autism "Asperger's." We've really struggled with a lot of communication and other issues, and after spending hours researching I've finally started understanding why. I'd really like a male's perspective, but women are more than welcome to jump in. Here are the areas I'd like some guidance/understanding on:

Sex: He frequently masturbates. Porn was an issue in the past, but I don't feel that it is now. However, despite numerous conversations and requests, our sex live is sparce and very cold. I've literally tried EVERYTHING. How can I help him to feel more comfortable with more frequent, interactive sex? I don't want him to be uncomfortable.

Communication: I'm VERY emotional. I experience emotions at the level of 10. I frequently overwhelm and overly stimulate him. How can I approach conversations so that he feels comfortable and doesn't get instantly frustrated?

Commitment: I absolutely love and adore him. We've been together for 2 years (lived together for 1 year). We want the same things in life and he's my absolute best friend. I know that he bought me an engagement ring. I accidently found it when putting away his laundry. However, this was 9 months ago. He's openly shared with me that he has a fear of commitment because he constantly fears he will make a bad decision. How can I make him feel safe or secure? How can I make sure that he has the support he needs to know that I am willing to make major life adjustments to ensure he is healthy (i.e. we live a structured schedule, I ensure he has alone time, I speak quietly and calmly, I don't change plans, I come to him when I need to talk and ask him when it would be comfortable for him and we set a time).

I've purchased SO many books. I've watched numerous psychology videos. I want to ensure he feels understood and loved. I also want to make sure I'm getting what I need (sex). I'd love to have a perspective from someone who has autism/aspergers so that I can understand how to best support and understand him. Thank you!

Today, aftter finally geting to see the first three episodes of Arcane season 2, I found myself with A LOT of trouble concentrating. The separation of Caitlyn and Vi made me very upset, and I can't move foward. It's a bad thing, because I need to read a lot of things for college, but my mind is STUCK with them. Does anybody have any usefull advise?.

Disclaimer: This is my first time posting on this community and English is a second languaje, sorry if there are any typos.

At times when somebody is talking to me and they ask a question or they've just been talking for too long, and I don't know what to respond with and I also feel bad cause I most likely got distracted with my thoughts and missed on most of what they said.

So instead of communicating normally I just "respond" in random ways like clearing my throat or sniffling loudly or faking a cough.

I just genuinely don't know what to say even though I wanna say something. It's more of just a way of signaling that I'm here and unfortunately alive and with you or something like that.

I've come to find that I have lot of stuff I like from when I was a child and further back, some from The pre school era (im not letting sooty go (if you're from the UK, you'll understand how letting sooty go is like losing a leg)),

But when things are too much or extremely horrible etc, I find myself going back to them and find myself curling into a ball and (on the rare occasions when I feel like I can) actually smile if not laugh, and I find myself regress for a while, but I'm happy,

Am I wrong for having them as a coping mechanism?

I've got people telling me it's "wrong" and to "grow up" but it makes me feel so much better, especially when I'm in tears and depressed from the way things are and what's to come.....

The more I learn about Project 2025, the more terrified I get about my future. The Department of Education is going to be gutted, which means that I won't have a career, since I'm in the midst of applying to Grad School to get a degree in Elementary Education. Social Security will be done away with, which means I won't have an income, since I rely on SSDI to get by in life. (I'm autistic and most part-time jobs stress me out to the point of having a breakdown.) Medicaid is also going to be on the chopping block, which means that I won't be able to afford my prescription meds anymore, and I take a lot of them, both for my anxiety and for my digestive disorders.

Tell me, why should I stick around when my life is about to turn into a living hell?

Being creative/ make things is a big part of self healing for me. But I every so often catch my self switching quite often from one medium/ toolset to another. Sometimes they work good together, sometimes not at all. And at the end of the day I have yet 5 new not complete artthings in a folder or on my workbench.

It’s typical I have 4 blender instances open, one photoshop file, some half finished wood piece somewhere and a canvas simultaneously. But none of the things is really finished.
At the same time I have like at least 10 different tutorials for different ideas open somewhere. I wish to get more ‘strict’ as I want at one point make my art accessible, share it in some way, maybe even sell something. But I often see that I have so much I want to do at the same time it’s hard to focus. I want to have a website for project A, but I also want to set more brainpower in project B that I also might publish eventually. I want to write more, but for that I might set a basis world in blender.
I know that being done, is better than perfect, but I wish to finish something instead of switching all the time and put it to the side.

I sometimes think my overall hyperfixation might be collecting tools, materials and knowledge that’s somehow art related.

I deal with people on calls and my God, several of the older women voices are aggressively shrill. Intenally, I want to scream, but I'm really good about muting my feelings.

However I am pretty sure they can tell (or at least I feel) I'm slightly wincing. It's really hard because it is equivalent to nails on a chalkboard for me. It is literally painful. Curious if any how anyone here has dealt with this.

Hi guys I've been home all day and i just feel bored and lonely, I have no irl friends and I have many things I can do at home but I just feel too tired to do anything.

I have spent the past months spending all my time mostly just lying in bed I volunteer on Sundays and Mondays but mostly don't do anything else I'm just sad I cried a bit just now

The problem is my body many times wants to be alone and solitary but a part of me doesn't want to be alone it's depressing

I see normal people just run down the stairs without holding on, or people carrying things down the stairs without holding on, yes both hands carrying things down the stairs.

I don’t know how people do that and when people ask me to help them carry something down the stairs I always ask them to get someone else.

All the time. Especially with harder to bite off and stringy foods that lodge on my mouth. I don’t know how NTs deal with these kinds of situations. It’s why I always prefer drive-thru and to go meals. I only eat in the restaurants when my family makes me do that. And plus a lot of people(thx to my Walmart job) don’t like me.

This is one thing that has always made long term employment a challenge. Early this past week, I raised an issue to my boss that was mildly bothering me at work concerning how a new coworker was doing his job, thinking the solution was simple and straightforward. Instead, my boss responded with sarcasm and gaslighting and made things awkward between myself and the coworker the issue concerned. The coworker came to me later that day with an accusatory tone. I think I was able to set things straight with him and smooth things over, but I've been feeling like I've created animosity. This isn't the first time something like this has happened throughout my life, and not just in work settings. Similar things have also happened when I thought I was doing the right thing, only to be essentially scolded and asked why I didn't do this or that instead. It's frustrating, and it's one reason I'm so high inhibition.

I haven't been officially diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure that I have Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID). It's what a lot of people dismiss as "picky eatingc" and for a long time I did too, but somebody told me that if you're actually struggling to get down "normal" foods such as apples and carrots, it's probably ARFID. It does explain a lot of my eating habits.

In any case, Thanksgiving is one of the few holidays I actually enjoy celebrating. For the past several years it's just been me and my parents. This year, however, a bunch of relatives are coming over, and the gathering is going to be earlier than Thanksgiving Day. I want to see them because it's been such a long time, but it is a sudden change in plans, and I have a hard time with that.

I'll admit that I like a lot of the starchy foods (stuffing, potatoes, Crescent rolls) but unfortunately they don't eat most of this stuff save for the stuffing. My mom tells me they want to have their traditional Thanksgiving dinner that my mom's family grew up with, and unfortunately it doesn't include most of those things. I think my cousin might have celiac disease and therefore doesn't eat bread, so no rolls.

I typically help Mom out in the kitchen on Thanksgiving, and I don't mind making some of these things at home and bringing them to my parents' house, but tbh, I'd rather enjoy the company on the day they are here, and then have a usual meal with just me and my parents on Thanksgiving Day. Mom doesn't feel up for making another turkey, but she says we can have chicken, and it's been a long time since I've had a freshly-cooked whole chicken. My dad used to eat whole chicken but he says lately he hasn't been eating them, but they're willing to do it for me.

Mom said that she's willing to do a turkey dinner for Christmas, but it's not something we usually do. My parents are Jewish albeit non-observant (and not to get political, but no, do not support Israel during this current situation), so we typically do the "ancient tradition" of getting Chinese food on Christmas Day. We have a small tree, but aside from that we really don't do anything for Christmas. I've been wanting to have a homemade meal for Christmas and I would of course help out in the kitchen like I do on Thanksgiving.

But as I've grown up, I've become increasingly aware that the world doesn't revolve around me. I get the impression that my parents are willing to do these extra meals because I want to do them, but it isn't what they would normally do, and I don't want to be a burden. Thanksgiving is about being grateful, and Christmas is about giving. So I don't want to be a burden on either of those days.

Does anyone else struggle with this?

I don‘t know. Maybe I‘m just reading too much into it.

I like the idea of building. It’s probably late for me. I’m probably curious if anyone here experienced this.

I just re-watched The Lego Movie and had a realization- Emmett at the beginning of the movie is me as a child! I got specific rules to follow for socializing (thank you therapy), "Mr. Business" was my parents, and I didn't know anything different. I had no deep friendships, but everyone seemed pleasant to me. If the world told me "everything is awesome!", I just believed it blindly and sang along. Now I realize that it was other people who told me that I was "special", but Mr. Business kept telling me I was "un special" and I needed to blend in.

Does anyone else here deal with being frequently sick? I’m wondering if this is common in autism.

Here's last week's Solitude Project Saturday

So, /r/aspergers, what projects do you have on the go right now? Any ideas on the backburner for one reason or another? Any ideas just in the planning phase? Even if you are working on them with someone else, they still apply here. If you can mention the interest that you have that relates to the project, that would be great; it may help others.

If I'm not mistaken it does count as autistic trait and I really think it defines me. I recently got to know a girl who is what I belive to be on the ADHD spectrum but not autistic, because shes the exact opposite of me. She joke about everything. Shes like an actor IRL, I feel like I see her pain through but most of the time she acts and fake. She has a rough past , that she told me about and has all right to be sad but most of the time she fake her feeling, acting all positive.

Anyway , I noticed that when she joke I don't understand it very well and that upsets her. She jokes all the time and I love it but also struggle with it.

I also learned something , NT like to share about their problem but don't seek an actual answer.
When she tells me about her struggles at home , I simply told her to leave her home and start living an independent life. I know it easier said then done but I truely think her living environment is toxic.

I won't go into details because its very long but in short her parents go on and off in the their relationship all the time. Shes just 20 and I believe it hurts her.

So when I tell her to find a new place , I see she understands it but don't really want to do it. Like that the most reasonable thing to do yet she won't do it. It drives me crazy!

Reddit have you ever encountered something similar?

My argument or statement about reality is sometimes so correct that it contradicts the ego of a person.

They always have two choices:

• insult me
• say they don’t care.

Something else I learned is that the weakest and dumbest insults are projections. The best insults are observed reality.

The primary cause is a sensory processing disorder due to neurodevelopmental problems,

Because of this, it is difficult to take care of oneself, so there is no reason to use socializing with others as a standard.

People with epilepsy say that they have poor social skills and lack tact.

It is difficult to focus on correcting the world that is reflected in one's eyes, so how can they have time to care about others?

Even if making friends seems like nothing, it starts after distinguishing between oneself and others and establishing self-boundaries during the growth process.

This disorder has difficulty establishing proper self-boundaries due to sensory abnormalities, so the problem of excessive empathy also occurs.

People often hate the prejudice that they do not have empathy, so they emphasize excessive empathy and package it as an advantage, but I do not think this is a good thing.

Because these excessive emotions are difficult to release energy to the outside, they eventually lead to self-pessimism, self-blame, and self-sacrifice due to the characteristics of autism.

The high suicide rate is due to the difficulty in making a living, but such self-abusive tendencies also play a part. Look

I think the initial cause is a problem in neurodevelopment that causes problems in recognizing the outside world normally, and the secondary problem caused by that is the lack of clear self-boundaries.

I'm pretty certain I have what was Asperger's Syndrome. I'm pretty high functioning, but still very introverted and have social anxiety.

I've thought about trying to meet a woman who has HFA or ADHD for dating. The problem is I don't have a social life. Also, I don't know what type of places/venues I could go to meet a woman who has similar issues as me, and who can understand me.

I started a job that involves lots of socializing to increase my social skills. Before I thought people hated me because of who I was. Bc i was weird. And im sure u all could relate.

Im shocked that the actual issue was how honest i was. I was very open, authentic, and i always said the truth instead of lying.

It is much more beneficial to lie. And even if people catch me lying, i found that they are actually more understanding and forgiving to the lying but will have a significantly harder time understanding and being forgiving with the truth.

This is something interesting i have learned and wanted to share. Feel free to share ur opinion or anything interesting that u have learned.

Edit: i realized that i wasnt clear with the kind of honesty i had in mind. Ill give u an example of what im thinking of.

My brother sent me to get a 24-pack of tissue paper, but I forgot and only got one box. When he asked why I didn’t get the 24-pack like he asked, I usually would have answered honestly and said, “I forgot.” But that doesn’t help, because it makes me look bad; he won’t be understanding about me forgetting, and he’ll think im unreliable. That kind of honesty makes me unlikable. So instead, I lied and told him they ran out, protecting myself from that kind of headache. I’m not talking about honesty in terms of opinions, but rather in situations where lying is an option, and it’s better to lie, but you say the truth anyway.