First of all, if you haven't read the book you need to. The author, Eve Rodsly, presents a lot of solid evidence-based information on all the different ways women are the "shefault" parent in many relationships. She covers a lot of territory I would never have even thought about. Then she gives you a system to turn things around in your marriage.

I'm not married (divorced and really needed this info when I was married) but I appreciated the information anyway. It was really validating to understand these things that caused me so much angst in my marriage. But I didn't think I would ever use the information, unless some miracle happens and I actually end up in another relationship.

Then Thanksgiving happened.

I've got a bundle of things going on in my life that are causing me a great deal of stress. Two of them came into play on Thanksgiving and I spent most of the night before not sleeping. My brain would not let me drift off, no matter how many times I told it I needed to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed the next day because, well, Thanksgiving falls mostly on me.

Normally, mom and I split the cooking on Thanksgiving. She takes half the dishes and I take the other half. We eat at her house and I show up early to "help" her cook. Only from the moment I get there, the responsibility falls on me, mainly because I'm the one with the teenagers who can lend a hand. (Just so you know mom isn't slacking, she does a lot of the cooking before I get there.)

While everyone else is lounging around and playing games with one another, I'm making sure every dish is cooked, the tables and chairs are set up, all the special diet needs are covered, etc. I do call on people to help but they come in, help for a bit, and then leave while I'm just there the whole time making sure everything gets done.

It's exhausting.

So this Thanksgiving, as I was preparing to head over to my parent's on only four hours of fitful sleep, I went in my room and just cried. With the stressful things going on, with the lack of sleep, and with the huge undertaking in front of me, I just could not do it.

And that's when it hit me. I knew a different way to handle things.

So I packed up the kids, drove over to my parents', and called all the capable adults in the house to the table. That's mom, me, and my two brothers (bachelors, so no wife to shefault to).

I told them, "I'm exhausted and we are going to do things different this year." Then I told them that we were going to divide up the rest of the cooking. I told them they were responsible for making sure their assignments were done on time, no one was going to remind them.

Then I braced myself for the complaints and . . . nothing. Okay, well, one brother gave a resigned growl, but that was it.

I wrote each person's name on a piece of paper and wrote the dishes that had already been cooked. Mom had already done more than her fair share so the rest of the day everyone kept yelling at her (playfully) to sit down and relax. We divided up the rest evenly and I told my brothers they were welcome to enlist the help of my kids. My younger brother immediately disappeared to the kitchen and started the potatoes. My other brother (the growler) botched the gravy and we all just dealt with it.

And I had an amazing Thanksgiving.

At Christmas there is going to be a sign up sheet.

I (20F) spent last night in the emergency room. I had the worst pelvic pain of my life, which had me rolling around on my bed sobbing and unable to get up or focus on anything. I had already taken the maximum Advil dose, which did not touch the pain. After 3 hours my mom told me to go to the ER. I live alone and could not get myself there, so I had to call an ambulance. In the ambulance, I started vomiting, non-stop all the way through triage.

At this point I was terrified and alone. I have been on oral birth control for three years, and I haven't had a period since then. The pain also didn't feel like period cramps, it felt more like the pain i had 2 years ago when i had an ovarian cyst. But much worse. Back when I had the cyst, they told me everything would likely be okay, but if I had severe pain and vomiting to go to the ER immediately as it could be ruptured or ovarian torsion.

I was really scared of ovarian torsion because it requires surgery. My parents decided to drive down to see me (1 hour drive). They left after 2 hours as it was getting late and I was still waiting for ultrasound, and nothing was happening. After about 6 hours in the ER, i got discharged. My blood work and ultrasound were completely normal. There was no evidence that anything was causing my severe pain, and I must just be having my period. (I spotted a bit yesterday and passed maybe a few clots but I don't know if this is my first period since starting birth control or what.) I got home around 1:30am and crashed.

This morning it's all hitting me, and I feel absolutely terrible about what I've done. I feel as though I've wasted so many hospital resources, including an ambulance, just because I can't handle my period. Everybody said I did the right thing by going in, but I just can't help but feel like if there was no explanation to why i was throwing up from intense pain, it must be my pain tolerance sucks and I suck. My mom barely got any sleep last night after she left because she felt terrible about leaving me, and I feel so guilty about making her worry, drive down, and lose sleep. I'm truly mortified and I feel like the biggest failure on earth right now.

Does anyone have any similar stories? How did you cope with having your pain turn out to be nothing? How do I stop feeling so guilty?

I'm generally pretty relaxed about being naked in front of intimate partners despite a conservative and somewhat repressed upbringing, but the following are parts of my body I do feel self-conscious about during intimacy:

1. My chest. I'm quite flat-chested. Never bothered me until I started getting intimate with guys.

2. My feet. I've got big, ugly feet. And I worry that they smell. I don't like my feet being touched and often keep my socks or stockings on during intimacy 😆.

3. My anus. Its very dark compared to the rest of my skin. I know its completely normal and it hasn't bothered my partners (a few have commented on it though). Can't help worrying if it makes me look dirty back there, as its quite on display as it were when we're in certain positions or doing butt stuff.

What are yours, if any?

Thoughts on the podcast guys- or men's motivation shpiel: " the last 3 generations of men have been raised by women" and have been ruined by them and brainwashed into the: "listen to your wife" "happy wife happy life" and that bullshit. Men are so tired of grinding for someone who had no respect and doesn't listen.. your supposed to be in charge and lead as a man. Yadda yadda. My... husband hyst sent me this and my eyes couldn't roll back further. Blaming it on women again how predictable. We have not been allowed to have enough power to take credit for that- idk what fuckin world you live in. You know what? I'm sick of men being told they are doing something wrong if they aren't in charge! That is so backwards! Maybe just being equal to women urks them because subconsciously they feel inferior because of it. Gawd. Love to hear your thoughts. Half venting. Half wanting any of your guys experiences with this.

I've [31F] been attending a weekly interest group meetup for about a month. I'm socially anxious, so it takes a lot of energy for me to go despite my anxiety. A dynamic has developed where the guys often approach and talk to me, but the women mostly ignore me. I've tried initiating conversations with the women but usually get very uninterested or dismissive responses.

It's worth mentioning that I have a larger chest, though I dress modestly. I worry that I'm being unfairly labeled as a pick-me, someone who’s only there to flirt with the guys and doesn’t care about connecting with other women. That has never been my intention.

What should I do in these situations with the women? It’s painful to try to start a conversation only to be met with disinterest, especially as someone with social anxiety. If I’m one-on-one with a woman and she doesn’t engage, should I just focus on my phone or do something else? Have you had similar experiences? How did you go about it?

P.S.: I feel like I’ve been in similar situations before, and I really want to break this cycle. I deeply value female friendships, but I’m not even sure what’s causing this rejection or how I can navigate it better.

For context: My ex filed for divorce in 2022 after 20 years of marriage.

One of the things I was looking forward to last year was dropping a bunch of holiday tasks that I associated with him- making spritz cookies, listening to the Christmas music that he liked (he abhorred mine. I finally started listening only when he was gone, or in headphones so he would stop making fun of me). I was shopping for and finding a Santa candle so we could burn it, shopping for him with no feedback, shopping for his whole family (and wrapping the presents, and shipping the presents) because he was “too busy.” I filled stockings, and coordinated advent calendars for both my ex and my kid. I spent time choosing, writing heartfelt messages, signing and mailing out Christmas cards with school pictures in them, the list goes on. All things that I invested a considerable amount of time and energy into because I loved him, and because for him the holidays weren’t complete without them.

Then the holidays of 2023 rolled around, our first season apart, and my daughter wanted to know why we weren’t doing any of the Christmas things. I realized that doing his Christmas traditions every year meant that those traditions belong to our daughter now, and that he has never participated in any of them, outside of decorating the spritz cookies a few times once they were cooked.

I had, inadvertently, become the holder of all his family traditions, and I couldn’t stop because now those traditions are my kid’s traditions and even though the traditions BELONG to him, he’d never actually participated in them. She has to do them with me, or not at all. She and I lost a lot when he filed for divorce, and I couldn’t bear to ask her to sacrifice anything else for my comfort.

So. In 2023 I made the spritz cookies. I bought the Santa candle. I filled an advent calendar. I took her shopping and she told me that she thought maybe her dad needed some spices because it might help him to cook. I thought about all the meals he had never helped with: I’d been asking him for years to take on some of the meal prep, and then I set that aside, took our daughter to the store, and helped her put together an essential dozen or so spices. She’d been telling me about how she was making cereal with spoiled milk during the half of the time she was at his house, but she didn’t want me to talk to him about it. The whole experience was sort of horrifying, and I finally decided I wasn’t buying him Christmas presents, I was feeding my daughter in another house.

My one tradition that I claim for myself is to make cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning. I started it forever ago so we’d have a breakfast buffer between stockings and presents, and it’s something I’ve maintained in with all the things my ex wanted.

But here’s the thing: my daughter is a senior this year. She’s spending this Christmas out of state with her dad. She’s planning on going off to college next year, and it makes me sad to think about how, for 20 years, I primarily did the things that made the people around me happy, except for the cinnamon rolls. The idea of living alone and making 2 dozen cinnamon rolls feels sort of devastating, and I’m not sure what else to do for the holidays.

So, what have you all done? How do you start fresh and build new traditions when your circumstances shift dramatically?

My parents are emotionally abusive. Not for the reasons I'm about to describe below, that's just a general fact. I'm in my mid 20s and I'm almost done with graduate school. My parents are driving me completely insane. I can't "go no contact" at this time. I’ve recently started grayrocking.

Before my parents met or knew anything about my boyfriend, my mom said he may be abusive because of his "culture" and "astrology." My parents put on a huge show for any guest, especially my ex-boyfriend who was never all that serious about me, and never invited me to spend a holiday with him in the 6 years we dated. They greatly encouraged my dead-end former relationship.

Anyways. My parents put in minimal effort with my boyfriend when he visited over the holidays (they met him briefly once before) to a laughable extent. They asked him "do you have any grandparents who are still alive" he said "no.” My boyfriend is quiet, and doesn’t ask questions just because, but my parents were certainty not in their best social mood.

At dinner party after my bf left, my mom randomly states "OP's boyfriend's parents just got divorced. His mother left the house because the father was abusive." I never said this, stated such, and left. She then pretended she never said this. My dad defended her because she was “drunk.”

So, after my boyfriend left they said the following about him:

• They accused him of lying about his salary because of online Salary disclosures, then I showed the recent one from last year, which generally shut them up

-They accused him of trying to steal my money because he suggested I use a Zelle account, as my bank already had one -They said his answers seemed "rehearsed" and "psychopathic" and that the "vibes" were awful. None of my friends have ever said this, and I blatantly asked them and they vehemently disagreed, said we seemed happy and sweet, etc. -They said the guests at the dinner party "hated him" when all he talked about was a vacation he went on. I'm sure they made this up.

-They asked "does your boyfriend say we are controlling?" ?? You are controlling? You get upset when your mid-20s child opens up their own bank account? They said he is controlling because we spent a lot of time together early on, but this was also more because I wanted to make sure we could live together, as I was deciding if I wanted to start a long-distance relationship. We did make future plans early, but I feel in a long-distance situation you don’t really have much of a choice.

-They said our physical contact seemed "gross" and "forced." My friends said the opposite. My dad said, "The way he was touching you made it seem like he wanted us to know who his bitch is" (he put his arm around me, and held my hand).

-They accused my bf of being after their money, which I won’t get until I’m 60 years old, so it’s not particularly appealing even to me. It’s particularly weird because my boyfriend’s parents are a lawyer + banker, so just… white collar professionals.

-They said my boyfriend is so noticeably weird, and that any person that claims to like him is "blowing smoke up my ass" and that his career "isn't going anywhere" when he has been repeatedly promoted.

After this all happened, my parents tried to bribe me with an expensive watch and a vacation, and act weirdly kind to me. It’s quite sickening

I have a big family. I don’t normally visit for longer than a few days but my parents both almost passed away earlier this year so I’m trying to make more of an effort. But I’m the only one that has different views. Everyone else is anti vax and extremely extremely conservative Christian with so many ideals that honestly make me want to vomit just thinking about. (Example: my stepdad believes sandy hook was a hoax.) But when they’re the only family you have… normally I just suck it up and keep everything in. When I was a kid I used to disassociate to cope. It’s something I’m working through in therapy since it’s something I still do.

I watched my brother pass out today from a coughing fit. He’s recovering from a bad case of Covid. Everyone is so worried about him. I’m very worried about him but I also feel so overwhelmed from anger and frustration. I can’t tell them they need to get vaccinated. I can’t say anything like that bc it will just start an argument with them and it’s like fighting with a brick wall that says really fucking mean things. My sister just blew up at me for being so negative and bringing the mood down all day long but I’m so sick and tired of keeping everything to myself. She’s the one I’m usually the closest to but every time I tried venting to her about our stepdad she just appeases him or tells me to stop complaining bc it’s only going to make things worse for me. That all the negativity is only making me more upset and I need to stop. I finally found some alone time this evening and broke down crying. And now I feel like I can’t stop. I feel so alone in my own family. The people that I love the most don’t even know they’re the reason why I don’t visit more than 2x a year and why I don’t let them in on my life. This experience just makes me want to distance myself even more. Which sucks. It just really fucking sucks.

I’ve been working on making my own chosen family but that’s something that takes a long time to put together. I broke up with my emotionally and verbally abusive ex 4 months ago. I was really hoping family time would help me feel better since he’s been relentless in trying to get back together. Instead I feel even more alone in the world. And im so fucking worried about my brother. I just want to scream.

So I know that the nursing report is currently being investigated. But the Dr report I’m not sure of the time line. I know it’s being looked at by a medical consultant and they said it could take 4 to 6 months to hear back, but it’s been 6 months and is going to be 7 months pretty soon. I know this can take time but I don’t know how long it realistically takes lol

i have extreme medical anxiety and i have a colpol scheduled for friday. i’ve already put it off once before. but ive just heard these absolute horror stories about the biopsy part and i work myself up so badly that i don’t know how i’m gonna do it. i feel sick to my stomach right now and it’s not for 5 more days

I’m throwing a fundraiser for Planned Parenthood this week and I’ve hired a bartender. I need some ideas for punny custom cocktail names. So far, all I’ve come up with is a Ruth Bader GINsberg. Anyone got some clever ideas?

This weekend I watched "Just Go With It" with Adam Sandler and Jennifer Anniston and I was DISGUSTED by the storyline: Rich 50-something plastic surgeon with few redeemable qualities dates 25 year old and then realizes he's in love with his middle-aged assistant and leaves 25 year old for assistant. That's literally the whole movie.

I don't know why or how I finished all 2 hours of it but the whole time I was thinking that the movie feels like a man's fantasy and a woman's nightmare. The worst part is that it's marketed as a family-friendly comedy.

Have you seen any movies that gave you a major ick at the obvious lack of women writers?

I wanna know if this is actually a thing or if I'm going crazy. Like 6 months ago the Always pads changed their formula (the bag started saying made of recycled plastic bags so I know they did something) and the new ones smelled *strongly* of chemicals compared to the old ones I had. Wore them anyways and got a UTI on the first day...

I switched to L brand and it was fine for the last six months. But I got a new pack today and now these ones smell like chemicals too. Nothing major changed on the package on the outside, but the wrappers are patterned now. Why is this happened? Has anyone else noticed it? Is there a brand that hasn't done this?

(warning - description of SA)

Hi. I’ll try and keep this short as there’s a lot too it. But I was SA about 2 years ago and am considering filing a report. It was a group of men, one of them I had met a few times before. I travelled about an hour to his house, I didn’t drive. He knew I was broke and my only way home was walking/bussing. Nearly right as I sat down I knew something was off because he wouldn’t sit down. He then told me he had another man waiting downstairs (just beside the only exit). I had reason to believe he would have become violent if I tried to leave or refuse. Before I could even adequately respond he then shouted for the man to come upstairs. At this point I didn’t see a way out without putting my life at risk. Very quickly he brought out pretty hard drugs and gave me so much I am surprised I didn’t overdose. When I’d gotten home and processed what happened I thought I was overdosing. Twice throughout the night someone was knocking on the door and two more men came in to have sex with me, at which point I was higher than a kite. He filmed me at numerous points without my consent, at one point I was watching myself be assaulted on his television.

My question is, would I not be confessing to taking illegal drugs if I reported this, thereby incriminating myself? Would I even have any chance at conviction if I technically never said no? My understanding is this wasn’t consent, that he forcibly used intimidation to coerce consent. But I’m not sure the law would agree with me on that.

I am also a trans woman, I have little reason to think police will make much effort to protect me. I feel pretty defeated. But I don’t know that I can move on from this if I don’t at least try. I’m almost certain I was not the first he has done this too.

I don’t know what to do. Thank you for reading this and any advice you can give. 💗 appreciated.

Warning, this is a long one.

I'm feeling really gaslit by this whole thing and it's spiraling in my head and I keep having to remind myself- this isn't ok.

Earlier this year I long distance reconnected with my college boyfriend. He's divorced and we have been exploring a possible romantic relationship. We've visited one another multiple times this year I'm a queer woman and he's a straight man.

The morning after the election I woke up, saw the results, and went totally numb. I texted him, let's call him Paul, and said "I don't even know what to say." And he responded "We'll make it through." And I absolutely lost my shit. I couldn't believe, at first, that this man's first thought and response to me seemed to be an "oh well" throwing hands up and shrugging perspective. "Who is we?" I asked. His response certainly wasn't considering the women, queer, transgender, and marginalized communities who will suffer massively under Trump's presidency.

I took a few days to gather my thoughts and then I contacted him. I practiced my words to be focused on my feelings rather than attacking his words; I didn't want to put him on the defense. I told him I was hurt and scared and looking for support and acknowledgement from him and instead was met with what felt like empty platitudes. But he still didn't back down or apologize or speak to my feelings at all. He stated that my words can't possibly always be sensitive towards marginalized communities either and that he was just saying something comforting. His response made me feel like I was crazy for being so upset about the election. Even though we had talked at length about the potential future under Trump and how scary it was- once the election results were in he didn't seem affected and he definitely was not acting like he supported me and my fears.

So this really pissed me off. Here is a man I had known for decades. I thought he was different I guess? (So stupid) I thought he cared about women and understood my fears. I thought he saw the world in a similar way and I thought he would be an advocate for me, for women, for others who needed it.

I spent a few days thinking about all of this and watching the headlines and remembering back to little ways Paul had diminished me over the past year. Things he had done to make me feel less than. And to the ways I had already begun shouldering his emotional burden along with my own. BTW he could never engage in serious or difficult conversation for too long, he "didn't have the capacity for it."

And then I remembered something that I had tried to bury. Before Paul and I met up for the first time this year I told him I want to use condoms if and when we had sex. He said that was fine and immediately followed it up by explaining that it won't feel as good for him and he won't last as long (are you kidding me dude?) but ok we could use them if I want. I said yes I want. I again asked him to bring condoms as our first visit was nearing. He said ok. We met and had sex and used a condom. Then a bit later we were fooling around a bit and all of the sudden, he's inside me. No condom. He just slipped it in. I felt paralyzed in the moment and just kept going. When we finished I said something along the lines of "what happened to using condoms?" And he just said "oh I got carried away" and that was it. And i just left it alone. I didn't say anything more. I thought to myself "oh I guess this is just what happens". And the truth is that similar scenarios have happened to me so many times, it has become so normalized in my life that I never really considered the fact that I didn't have to put up with it.

Until now.

It's like a switch flipped in my brain and I became outraged at this memory. How could someone, someone who allegedly cared for me so deeply, completely violate my boundary about my own body. And on top of that, just shrug it off when confronted. That's not ok! And I'm not accepting that anymore.

He responded some vague "I'm sorry if..." statement because he hadn't heard from me in a few days and I responded basically saying that recent events have me recontextualizing experiences I've had. I restated for him the condom scenario I explained above. And ended with "and that's just not something I'm going to get past."

His response was not an apology. It was an ask for clarification "is that what you're mad about? Is that what this is all about?" I said what is "this? You violated me". And that was met with another vague "I'm sorry if" and a comment about not understanding why that was something I'm upset about this.

At this point y'all I'm just so done. I'm done being treated like this. I'm sick to my stomach about everything going on in our world and I'm not wasting another inch of my energy on a man who doesn't even respect my bodily autonomy. Who won't stand by my side in a fight for equality. Who won't allow themselves to see reality and how it will impact so many communities in the United States. Men who zap our energy, trauma dump on us, expect us to take care of them and stay hot and still fuck them whenever they want and enact legislation that strips us (and many other non straight men) of our rights.

And I guess I just wanted to reach out to this community for some validation because I just can't believe this has happened. But when I really think about it and look around, I guess I can. And I'm glad it happened before I became committed much more deeply.

i’ve fallen down the rabbit hole of reading comments on IG reels, tiktok, facebook, etc. receiving hate comments isn’t anything new, but i can’t help but notice that whenever a woman in particular is sharing a certain life experience, venting, showing her lifestyle, literally ANYTHING - most of the hate comments are from men. i’m talking disgraceful things too. i’ve even been a victim to this, i once made a video sharing my experience of a traumatic event i went through & all of the victim blame-y, harassment, death threats, etc. came from men. i know this has been happening since the beginning of the internet. i’ll just never understand why they’re so shameless and bold about it now.

I have always struggled with having someone to ask my big questions to as a girl who doesn't have an older sister or a close best friend. So if you are under 21 ask any questions you have (heck anyone ask questions) and if you have an answer to someone's questions I'd love you to share it.

My question is how do you naturally find a romantic partner (I don't want hookups or dating apps if you know what I mean)

TW; SA, r*pe, race Disclaimer; I think that these cases are important and I do truely feel sorry for the falsely accused. I just wanted to vent a bit.

I feel like false accusations take up a huge portion of the discussion surrounding SA while being a small portion of cases. I feel like there’s a narrative about false accusations being more common than they are and I can’t lie that i am worried about stigma for victims. A large portion of my friends are victims even though we’re all young. I’ve always had a fear of becoming a victim and I’ve experienced harassment and situations where I thought I was at risk. (Being followed, catcalled, butt/hip touching from strangers.)

Of course, each case should be evaluated and neither party should be assumed guilty. (Don’t assume the accuser is lying but don’t assume the accused it’s guilty prior to evidence.) But I feel like oftentimes, the accuser/victim is assumed to be a liar and can face mistreatment.

I believe that discussions of false accusation are important, but I’d be lying if I said I don’t find some of the takes slightly uncomfortable.

In middle school we read To Kill A Mockingbird. Alright book, no issue with the fact that history is being taught, however I felt like my teacher was painting a large group of victims under the same brush. She essentially said that it’s quite common for white women to lie about SA allegations because white women like attention and know that minority men will always be assumed guilty. She talked about white woman tears as well. The conversation gets messy when race is involved and don’t get me wrong. I won’t deny that cases like this have happened. But it was the fact that it was portrayed as a very common occurrence that made me uncomfortable because I felt like it could stigmatize victims. She essentially painted the picture that almost all cases of white women accusing minority men are false. I don’t think that’s a fair representation.

The false rape allegation discussions lasted about 1.5-2 months. In contrast, in my education so far, perhaps 1-2 days involved discussions of actual SA. Although I’m not a victim, I’m extremely passionate about the topic and the fact that such an important issue in our world was barely acknowledged is sad to me.

Is it wrong to feel like it’s not fair? I was worried to mention race because I don’t want to be perceived as discriminating or invalidating minority issues, I just thought the very broad generalization from my teacher was unfair.

https://msmagazine.com/2024/11/29/christian-nationalism-project-2025-women-right-to-vote-suffrage/

What say ye ladies?

I know that porn is usually a phisical medium consisting of videos etc. But I get off strongly to books and other written media, I can imagine and see the characters for who I want them to be. I want to know if there are others out there who get aroused just thinking of the written word and what they imagine. I'm kind of scared that i'm going to objectify other actual people. I mostly describe myself as anything but cis man sexual and afaik there isn't a category for that yet.

A couple years ago I bought a bunch of sweats from Target that were super soft (that was in the name, but the brand was Stars Above or something). Anyway, they don't carry that brand anymore, so I bought a couple pairs of thick, soft sweats in the junior section and they're already pilling and feeling rough after 1 wash! Ugh.

Anyone have recommendations for soft, comfy sweats that last and stay soft? They can be expensive if the quality is worth it. Not looking for leggings or spandex-like material. TIA!

We broke up April of this year. We have cycles of where we break up and get back together, but during time of no contact, we work on ourselves and grow as individuals. I am wondering why he sent me, two days in a row, photos of myself from when we went on a weekend vacation together. Just wondering what this means. I did not respond. I also have my online status hidden from WhatsApp. He seems to be a coward and not be able to send me a message, yet will send me random photos. He keeps logging into WhatsApp constantly throughout the day, I’m assuming to check and see if I sent him a message. I tried sending him a message to reconcile months ago. It took him 2 months to message me back. He sent me this long message, then unsent the message minutes later. I just don’t understand. He constantly keeps changing his WhatsApp profile photo too, sometimes many times a week, and then he deletes it. Is he playing games?

Ever since I gave birth almost 4 years ago, I regularly get stomach pain that feels like a heart attack. It happens a couple times a year but when it does happen, it's the worst pain I've ever felt.

I went to the er twice today for severe upper abdominal pain and even the lidocaine isn't helping much. The CT scan was normal, labs were normal. They think it might be a hiatal hernia but they're not sure.

I just want not to be in pain anymore 😭😭😭 the frustration I felt when all my labs and the CT scan were normal was astronomical.

It's not your fault that people hurt you. It wasn't your fault that separate people sold your innocence at 9 months old, 5 years old, and 9 years old. Even though you are grown, you never asked to be sullied, they do not continue to assault you because you are weak, but because you will endure torture to survive.

You are the epitome of strength. Your personality broke into several different pieces to keep the violence from you when you were a child, and when the memories came back as an adult you endured on instead of throwing yourself into the endless void. A fire grew inside you, burning from the injustice, needing to show others the violence you suffered, and possibly burn them with righteousness.

Your voice sings a lonely call, like the last imperial woodpecker searching for home, your song is a call for revolution. The patriarchy are the loggers paying for your execution, a peice of wild nature that refuses to be property-- and only one solution rings true: the death of capitalism and white nationalism.

You will not longer need to perform all the emotional labor for a partner, all household chores, and be tortured by religious trauma. No acts you perform will get you into the kingdom of heaven. You are not chewed up gum. Evangelicism-- Christianity & sects that sell that women are property and less than-- all falls under the propagation of white nationalism. You do not need to endure marital rape to be loved-- you deserve someone who understands enthusiastic consent and prioritizes your pleasure. Having sex is not a duty, something you can't say no to, or something that someone is owed-- anything that falls under those things is rape.

Your body is more than the actions it performs-- and your value is not intrinsic to your labor.

I know I promised no more pain for us, little girl, but now we have to rise up. Become like our Rojavan sisters, and fight a theocratic and authoritarian state. Pick up a gun like them, a molotov like them, and fight our oppresors no matter the violence shown to us. We can be like the kurds, and have equal part in our government. No longer will we excuse state sanctioned execusions performed by red state hospitals on unfortunate mothers, no longer will we let our government fund genocide, no longer will we let rapists choose the mother of their child, and no longer will the conviction of rapists be 2%.

Finally, Baby, we can protect little girls like you... as long as we rise up.

I (23F) learned that my Mom (53F) started dating after pretty much my whole childhood (dad cheated/they divorced when I was super young) . And she's been texting people through mutuals and all that. But there was this one guy who rubbed her the wrong way was being more pushy. When my mom said she didn't want to be bothered with him he essentially told her to (sl*t her wrists) among other colorful language. I'm not sure how old this guy is I think probably in his late 40s or so, but geez I really feel for straight women (I'm aroace and have no desire to really date). How do y'all manage with this, I don't have the patience to tolerate it at all.

My entire life I have hated my body. A side effect of growing up female in the western world I suppose. I started a piggy bank when I was ten or so— I told my mother it was to save up for a car. It was for surgery, but I knew that she would get mad if I admitted that. I would hate taking photos as I was quite chunky in comparison to the others in my class. When I was fourteen or so, I recall getting naked in the bathtub with a pair of scissors and a rubber band in preparation to make my labia more symmetric. (I realized the idiocy of my actions and stopped, pledging to get a proper surgery instead.)

I still hate my body. Me waxing poetic about how much I hate it isn’t helpful, though, so I’ll refrain. I am now 20, cis female, and I still haven’t learned to accept my body.

How did you learn to do so? Sometimes it’s the only thing I can think about— my face and my body and how it’s lacking. How do you deal? What made you grow out of your insecurity, and how? IS it something you can grow out of? Or is it something you ignore?

I've come to detest most forms of media that include sex scenes.

It's either sexualizing the woman for the male audience, or showing an act of trauma such as sexual assault. I am open to discussion if anyone knows any tv shows or movies that don't fit my opinion, but I have been wracking my brain for sex scenes that don't feel exploitative of the woman in some way, and I can think of none. Y'all?

Hi all! I’m 31 and i started birth control about a year ago. The pill, NIKKI. Didn’t have any adverse reactions other than some unannounced withdrawal bleeding that went away and a lower sex drive.

What it really did for me though, was totally eradicate my very stubborn hormonal acne. My jaw line was riddled with cystic acne for a year before I started NIKKI.

I’m now no longer in a relationship and would like to quit birth control as I never really loved the idea of messing with my hormones in the first place. But i am TERRIFIED that my acne is going to come back in full swing and ruin my life again :(

Anybody that can add their two cents with what they’ve experienced when coming off birth control in regard to their acne?

Thank you!!