I've been trying to unlearn all the internalised misogyny that the media and society pushed on me. Whenever I catch myself thinking like that I correct myself and think about why I thought that and how I can change it. But there is one persistent dislike I just can't get rid of and I don't know why.

It's very noticeable in my uni, because I haven't seen anyone who looks and acts and dresses like me and, while it makes me feel alienated sometimes, I frequently catch myself looking down on the other girls. I am not straight, I don't wear makeup or any fragile jewellery, I almost never wear skirts or dresses, my legs are hairy, I get most of my clothes from my brother/father or from the men's section because they are more comfortable, less sexualising and represent me better, I manspread a bit because it's comfortable and my skin is darker than most others, the list in endless and I stick out like a sore thumb.

Most others I see are the complete opposite. I frequently think that they copy pasted their outfits and looks from one another and it seems like they all subscribe to hyper-feminising everything about themselves while complaining about it. Whenever I meet someone new (to me) who "looks copy-pasted", I catch myself disliking them without speaking to them first and thinking they are shallow.

I know there is nothing wrong with dressing how you like or putting makeup on and you don't have to be brainwashed by partriarchy to like being "hyper-feminine" (although I've met a few who are unhappy with it but are afraid of also sticking out). I'm usually a big defender of "be who you are and dress however you like", and I don't hate or reject femininity although it may seem like that.

This only comes out when I meet people who look like they always dress up to follow the latest fashion/makeup trend (the copy-paste people), but there isn't anything inherently wrong with following trends...

So wtf is wrong with me?

Women who live in the North of England have shorter lives and work more hours for less pay, a startling new study has revealed:

https://preview.redd.it/sixai1qhukmd1.png?width=540&format=png&auto=webp&s=5bf2c010ce9a1489da4ea263bf8da9badc1cb5de

They are also more likely to be an unpaid carer and live in poverty compared to women living in other areas of England, according to the study from Health Equity North.

The report, Woman of the North: Inequality, health and work, has been backed by two female northern elected mayors, Tracy Brabin and Kim McGuinness, and calls for central Government to do more to tackle regional inequality.

The findings show that women living in the the North West, Yorkshire and the Humber and the North East, have lower healthy life expectancy, fewer qualifications, worse mental health, and are more likely to suffer domestic violence or to end up in the criminal justice system than their counterparts in the rest of England.

The lack of equality and opportunity that remains ingrained in modern Britain is unacceptable'

Read more: https://metro.co.uk/2024/09/03/map-shows-women-longest-healthy-life-expectancy-uk-21537631/

I do not know where to ask this but I figured anyone of you would have encountered this argument at least once.

So in some online spaces I see this argument a lot. Hard to replicate it exactly but the argument goes as following:

"Feminism problem is that a lot of feminist want to turn women into man. They want to do man jobs, they want to be treated like males in certain work places, and more related. Instead of empowering the archetype of feminine, they get rid of gender archetypes as a whole but they do it by becoming same as men instead of unique feminine"

Now I am sure I messed up the narration but this is how it goes more or less. Has anyone of you encountered this argument? Any word of advice?

How do you cope with being surrounded by sexist shit on your own? With being disrespected? I feel so exchausted but I have no one to talk to. Or no one to give advice.

Background about me: I am 21(f) who cant hold down a job or finnish school because of my mental health issues. I am diagnozed with Adhd, BPD and autism. No medication or psychologist I spent a few thousands on has ever helped me. Because of my addictions (BPD) and overall cost of living with this mental garbage, surviving of insurance isnt enough to get by and I get income from pretending to be someones girlfriend for an hour, going on dates with men.

I think its very obvious where I am getting at. The problems I have had from this type of work range from rape, threats to being ignored (literally dont care to answer, etc ). Yesterday the guy I was with told me 3 times I am dirty, spoke of a joke "you know which women dont get on your nervous? The rubber ones you find in the sex shop" and called women the "below, weak sex". Today I told him if he continues we will part ways. He did.

This person was 20-30% of my income. I woke up today crying, again earlier than I should because I cant sleep.

The escape I have planned for myself is in

1. launching an online course, so working for myself, on the topic of colors and how they can be used in styling clothing. I have already written the script, filmed the material, but I have yet to buy a new laptop to edit this and to buy a website. I counted it will be around 6-7 months of waiting while I collect the money.

But I dont know if I will be able to sell this course as I dont know If I will be able to advertise myself well.

2. What I am thinking now is to do a color styling practise at home. I need to collect some money to buy equipment but thats it. The only thing is my anxiety and having no one to practise on (I dont have friends besides my grandma, because of autism). I dont know how much time I need for this to become a normal income though.

3. I also managed to buy for cheap a good canon camera from this stupid guy that trashed me yesterday. With the lense and all. I am thinking if it would be possible to earn money with it as in taking photos, since I have a passion for pictures but not so long ago. But again, a case of how to advertise oneself and how much time I have to wait for it to be an income.

Fucking depressing if I am honest. What if I have to work as a dater for 2 years more? I believe I will encounter some dangerous men by this time, several times. Maybe I am drowning myself in depression abd fear, but its very hard not to think about it.

The reason I am not trying to work "normally" for someone is because I have had trauma at work. I have tried like 15 fields, and my record is working for 1 month. The only job I can maintain is when I am fully in coltrol, aka working for myself.

But either way, what can I do to help myself? At the moment I am :

1. trying to find female feminist friends on tinder and badoo
2. Doing psychological work based on Thais Gibson channel on youtube
3. working out, focusing on healthy food
4. made a SOS automatic message in case of danger, carry a small knife (legal in my country) and a pepper spray for self-defense.

https://open.spotify.com/show/2vd6Z7I8vXOAv8dpsxlmKO?si=5c54c628d6d54b8f

The first thing I think of is Halloween costumes

Every single day a man is making his insecurities a woman's problem. The fact that so many men think they are more intelligent, stronger, better leaders, and just more worthy of a better life than HALF the population is absurd. Throughout my life I have noticed that if women are good at something or beat men at said thing, then she is an outlier and a freak of nature, or she cheated, or she fucked someone to get to the top (that last part just... no). But if men beat a woman at something, that's just how it's supposed to be, and no one bats an eyelash. And if women complain that this treatment is unfair, they are just crazy misandrists. Conflating misandry with misogyny IS well, misogyny. It's ridiculous. I have never found my gender limiting, but the one-dimensional thinking of men think that can beat all women skillfully, physically, and intellectually. Throughout history, women have always "proven" that they are as capable as their male counterparts in anything but due to patriarchy, men can see this, make it more inaccessible to women (if they don't ban women at all), and blame it on "biology." All because men want to delude us into believing that they are the epitome and standard of all that is good and right and we're just straggling along. Patriarchy just squanders so many women and men never realize that the reason we don't see a lot of women in top positions in a lot of industries is due to the fact they never have the chance. And then they are given the opportunity, misogyny ensues. I think it was Bell Hooks who said we drown in the perspectives of men, but most men won't even read something if they find out a woman writes it. I am a great person, and I am not limited by what I am fundamentally. It's sickening.

Ironically enough, both much of old and new media (movies, books, shows, etc.) depict "traditional" women's work as miniscule and basic. That what they did was far less important than what many men were doing be it fighting, ruling, building, etc. When wars happen, we rarely get a look at what non-combatants were doing. When we do, they tend to be helpless bystanders who rely on their armies completely. The only way they ever get to shine is if they subvert their roles and fight directly, which gives the impression that "traditional women's work" is useless.

But from what I understand about women in medieval times, things weren't as simple as media depicts. Basically, they (along with men who weren't fighting) helped maintain society's basic needs such as with farming, textile work, family rearing, and so much more. And when their husbands, sons, brothers, or other male relatives were away, they would take over family businesses to keep them running. Lastly, when sieges happened, they helped keep society running, heal the wounded, craft supplies like arrows for the soldiers, and were not above fighting back when the defenses fell.

The reason why I keep putting quotation marks over traditional is because women had varying roles depending on times, places, conditions, etc. They had a variety of jobs and contributions.

I mean, don't get me wrong, there were unhealthy and unfair views and restrictions placed on women. I also do enjoy seeing an action heroine (if she's written well), but it bothers me that many media think that women are only capable this way. That "traditional" work was useless and that they were helpless.

Anyone else feel the same thing?

https://denvergazette.com/colorado-watch/reunification-therapy-colorado-child-abuse/article_96e08e26-66f4-11ef-b15c-ab5c4905bfc1.html

I just recently learnt about Bar Girls in the Phillipines and how a lot of the girls are from low socio-economic backgrounds and most of them are underage and exploited by tourists. Is there anyway to help these girls, it makes me sick.

first of all i want to say that this is not hate text. the same way that saying that being against pedophilia is not hate text. islam is dangerously mysoginistic. violence against women is much higher in islamic countries than anywhere else.

you are not a feminist is you believe that islam has any place in the modern world.

Yes I do the cooking Yes I do the cleaning Yes you be the boss I be respecting

This is the lyrics of famous Nicki Minaj song 'Hey Mama:

As someone who enjoys the energy and creativity in rap music, I've become disturbed by the rampant misogyny that continues. It's 2024, and yet so many mainstream rap songs are filled with lyrics that degrade, objectify, and dehumanize women.

Whether it's casually referring to women as "b*tches," glorifying sexual exploitation, or reducing women to mere objects in their lyrics, many rappers continue to perpetuate harmful stereotypes. What's even more troubling is how normalized this has become. These misogynistic lyrics aren't just overlooked—they're celebrated, often topping the charts and being played on repeat and people thinking it's cool.

This isn't just a "problematic" issue—it's a serious reflection of how deeply ingrained misogyny is in our culture. Music is powerful. It shapes how we see the world, how we treat each other, and how we see ourselves. When rappers use their platforms to spread harmful ideas about women, it has real consequences.

As fans of the genre, we need to start holding artists accountable. It's time to stop excusing harmful behavior under the guise of "artistic expression." Misogyny is not creative. It's damaging, and it’s about time we stop letting it slide.

I've been slightly triggered recently in 2 separate situations.

One at a barbers whilst my son was getting his haircut - one of the barbers said 'was that you driving the [insert car brand]?' So I replied 'yes' and in response got 'that's a big car for someone so small as you, you look so tiny driving behind the wheel'.

You might be thinking I'm driving a 4x4 or something - I wasn't. It was just an estate car that's a bit sportier than most.

I laughed it off but deep down I was thinking - would you have said the same to a man whose the same height as me? Or is this more about me being a woman and less about my height....

The other situation was in work - tasked with collecting some new vans (which I'd agreed to) let's say "Tim" came into my office to ask 'have you ever driven a van before?' - I had.

Then on day of collection, Tim asks 'are you sure you're going to be OK driving the van back?' - now frustratingly, I allowed his comments to knock my confidence. When I said I didn't appreciate the sexist comments, he tried to say he'd said exactly the same to "Jim" who was driving the other van, which IMO is highly unlikely as Jim drives a large pick up truck.

So am I being too sensitive & thus triggered or is this, as I have taken it, sexism / unconscious gender bias...

What would you have said if you were me in those situations?

What would you recommend to me to reduce my sensitivity?

I have several interviews scheduled for tomorrow and I know what’s coming.

I have ran around a hundred interviews.

The majority of men referred to their past projects and experience repeatedly using the words „I did it”.

The majority of women: „we did it” (as a team, as a company)

I’m begging you, don’t belittle your achievements.

I’m aware of what’s going on. However, there are so many people who just hear that you haven’t done as much as the guy have, even though it’s obviously not true looking at yours and his papers.

If you want to talk about teamwork, still say „I did it” and elaborate on how much you alone can contribute to the team.

I was talking to my male friend and idk how we came to talk about this but I was trying to explain why women have it harder than men and my friend keeps interrupting me and I felt like he wasn’t serious unlike me. And he even had the audacity to tell me that I’m picking the victim card.