Do share recipes or any tips/tricks to get your child to poop :)

I've tried prunes, papayas, pears, spinach.. nothing!

TW: body image and weight loss talk. Marked NSFW just in case.

As long as I can remember, I've heard my mum spouting fatphobic rhetoric which she excuses as 'okay' because its directed at herself - and to a lesser extent, to me.

She always used to comment on my weight - never outright calling me fat, but mentioning when my body changed, commenting about clothing etc. If I lost weight, I was praised. I always put it down to 'mums, right?' but I know better now.

She recently lost 3 stone. I'm pleased for her because I know it was something she always wanted. My brother got married last weekend and she wore a gorgeous form-fitting dress. I on the other hand am as big as I've ever been. I also wore a gorgeous dress and felt happy and beautiful. My mum's success doesn't hurt me. I've tried so, so hard not to make my mum's insecurities my own.

But my gorgeous daughter (6) has starting saying things like "I need to lose a pound" or "I don't want to be fat". She told my husband she didn't want a "fat belly like his".

I know exactly where its come from. My husband and I are both fat people, and we have been so careful never to use fatphobic language in the house. I stopped my negative body talk for her sake. We've pointed out being fat doesn't make a person bad. And I can't 100% blame my mum while society exists in all its fatphobia - every villain in her kids books is fat, while there are barely any fat heroes.

What do I do? I know if I approach my mum, nearly 40 years of blaming and shaming and body insecurity are gonna come out. I love my mum and I don't want to ruin her achievement. But I love my daughter more and I don't want her growing up the way I did, thinking of my body as some kind of disgusting, fat pile.

Does anyone know of any resources? Any books I can get her for Christmas that tell her that her body - all bodies - are beautiful? I will have to put my big girl boots on and speak to my mum. When it boils down to it, I want her to know the damage her comments are doing. If anyone has had to have this conversation before, I'd appreciate any advice. And thanks for reading.

I cant figure decide if I should take my 7 month old to the ER right now or not. It doesn't SEEM like an actively emergency but I am starting to get paranoid.

Possibly relevant background info:

Just now starting solids this past month but taking it slow. Only introduced a few foods. Tonight he did have a pear and pea pouch which is new

He is currently on day 3 of liquid antibiotics for a double ear infection

Whats happening:

After dinner he became very fussy. This is rare for him. He is a CHILL baby. Only cries if he is exhausted or actually in pain.

He gradually got more fussy and started doing the like upper gas pain writhing and jolting. Ok no big deal still. That happens sometimes.

Now he is on and off swallowing a lot like I can hear him swallowing.

Swallowing then randomly coughing and choking. A few times when he's coughed he's like spit up just straight saliva

HE IS exhausted its bedtime so he's like hald asleep during all this but screaming on and off. Wakes up, screaming, writhing, jolting, swallowing, coughing. Finally get him back asleep (laying on his belly on my chest) and he's fine for a little bit then does it all over again. Some swallowing and coughing invetween in his sleep.

Should I take him? Does it sound like I am overeating? I have to work tomorrow, I'm exhausted, I don't want this to be a huge thing but obviously if I need to then I need to. He seems to breathing fine. A little heavier maybe and sometimes randomly a little fast but idk I think that's normal just cuz he's a baby.

Thoughts?

So we’ve planned this family vacation to Disney world for months and my brother, our kid’s favorite uncle will be coming along. We are treating him so we’re purchasing his airplane ticket, park ticket etc. So my husband decided to invite his cousin and his family without asking me. Now they’re looking for tickets 🤦🏼‍♀️ My husband said our kids would love having their cousins there with them. The problem is, I cannot stand his cousin and his wife and my husband knows this. I tolerate them for my husband and the kids. We are spending thousands on this trip and I should be able to say if I want certain people to come along or not. This is our special intimate family trip with their favorite uncle. I don’t want another family crashing our trip, especially that family! I do love their kids tho. Am I horrible for saying this? Should I continue to tolerate them for my husband and kids’ sake even on this trip? I told my husband we can plan a trip with them soon but they can’t come along with us on this one. It may sound harsh, but they are rude and inconsiderate, I cannot stand them….. thanks for reading.

We have a daughter in JK and another on the way. Our daughter has extra needs and takes a lot of energy to keep up with. My husband works full time. I was a SAHM for nearly 4 years and now work part time from home while dealing with a complicated pregnancy. We also have a few million other things we’re dealing with at the moment big and small. We have little to no help. Without going into too much detail we’re both beyond burnt out and hanging on by a thread without much time or energy for the personal things we once did that made life fun. (Hobbies, exercise, time with friends etc)

We don’t get much time together, I’d love to spend my evenings with my husband and he with I and yet most nights we’re so tired that one of us falls asleep shortly after daughter’s bedtime is over. Some nights it’s me, most nights it’s him…

This is where I get to the meat of my post, what the hell do I do with myself after he falls asleep? I’m too tired to take on more work. I don’t have much by way of leisure activities that interests me.

Once my husband is asleep I can’t watch the shows we’re watching together so I end up watching the same few things over and over. I sometimes play video games, but if I play late at night it fuels me with adrenaline and keeps me awake. I don’t know what else to do with my time… I’ve been dealing with pregnancy fuelled insomnia lately so I’m often up for 3-5 hours alone after he falls asleep at 9:30.

Despite living with a man I love and adore I end up spending the bulk of my free time alone and sad with no idea how to fill my time. I feel like I’m wasting my existence watching the same crap on tv over and over again while scrolling reddit or playing word games on my phone.

Anyone else feeling almost abandoned by their sleeping partner? What are other parents doing to fill their evenings after the kids go to sleep? How do you go about filling your life with some semblance of the things that used to make you a rounded happy person when parental duties, housework, professional and financial responsibilities etc take up the bulk of your time and all of your energy?

I have been awoken for the 8th time tonight by a sad little floppy boys barking cough and wheezing, so I thought I’d just use this time to share my experience.

Forgive me, I’m relatively unslept and on my phone. But that pretty much sums up the last ten days.

My 15month old boy woke up on Friday the 25th October with what looked like conjunctivitis, so I googled it, was told it was viral, and got to work spending my day holding him down trying to keep his eyes clean. Went to the pharmacy to see if I could get some drops. Nothing, it’s fine, it’s viral, it’ll clear up.

Notice him getting a little poorly and a bit more sad looking and fussy throughout the day, put it down to him having a virus. By evening his nose is pouring with snot. This is the goddamn gammiest baby I have ever seen.

Sleeps the best he’s ever slept on Friday night, just absolutely sparko for 11 hours. I’m shook but i won’t question it. Saturday he goes to his dad’s for the night. Dad says all is fine just just a bit unsettled through the night.

Returned to me on Sunday a completely different baby, he can barely keep his eyes open, he has a hacking cough and I can feel a rattle in his chest. He is so uncomfortable bless him, won’t play with his toys, just wants to cuddle (this is unusual, this guy LOATHES a cuddle). I take him for a walk in the pram for some fresh air and to see if I can coax him into a nap, it works but I get an even worse baby when he wakes up.

The fever has kicked in and so has the laboured breathing. The fever was mild but the laboured breathing was scary. This was all accompanied by blow out diarrhoea. Eff ‘it’s just a virus, it’ll pass’, I’m seeking help now. I call NHS 111 who direct me straight to paediatric A&E. I get there within 20 mins, I’m seen straight away. They monitor his breathing and give him a full check over, they keep him under observation for a few hours and then we’re free to go with a bronchiolitis diagnosis and some eye drops.

I take off work on Monday because I obviously cannot send him to nursery. Hacking cough gets worse, his throat is obviously so sore so he won’t eat properly, we’re back to purées and loads of milk. Tried to play a little and then would just flop down in tired frustration that he couldn’t muster the energy. His overnight coughing fits got so bad that they aggravated his throat to the point of coughing up watery blood. This all lasted for the next 5 days with the inclusion of a 39.8 fever (controlled by calpol but still very scary) around Thursday.

Saturday 2nd of November saw some slight improvements. Had occasional bursts of energy and ate more food than I’d seen him eat in a week. Sunday was the first time I’d seen him screech with joy at something in a while, he was running and spinning around and clambering all over me. It was amazing to see. He even ate three lunches.

Sunday night (now) is a different story, he’s been up having a coughing fit every 1.5 hours, the bloods back, the diarrhoea is back. Looks like I’m still firmly in the weeds.

This is the sickest I’ve ever seen my baby and it’s AWFUL, so I’m sending solidarity to everyone this RSV season and just wanted to share my experience in case it helps anyone frantically worrying out there!

Logic: You slept terribly last night and have had a long day. The kids are asleep, you should go to bed too.

My Brain: But what about the dishes to wash and the books to read and the shows to watch and the treats to eat the free time to have, huh???

My MIL 53f is a good woman. About a year ago she asked me 24f and my husband 30m to move in with her and her youngest son 27m because they were struggling to pay all their bills and we were over paying in rent ourselves.

I have a daughter 4f that I have every other week. My husband and I have a son who is now 6 months. We rent out the down stairs which is a two bedroom 1 bathroom space.

Today we asked MIL to watch our son so we could deep clean before getting my daughter back from her dad. After roughly 3 hours of cleaning I went up to get my son to feed him and noticed MIL had given my son a 5 oz bottle of water. We were just cleared at his 6month appointment to give him liquids other than breast milk, and that was mainly because he has been getting constipated. We were also specifically told by the Dr not to give him more than 2-4 oz a day of anything to drink that’s not breast milk. When I got down stairs I mentioned to my husband what I saw and he went to address his mom.

From what I could over hear the conversation went like:

H: how much water has he has had? Mil: I don’t know. H: how full was the bottle when you gave it to him? Mil: I don’t remember. H: the Dr told us no more than 2-4 oz of anything other than milk for now. Mil: I raised two kids I know what I am doing he will be fine. H: okay.. why did you give him water though? Mil: he was having a rice cracker and seemed like his mouth was dry. We drink water with dinner I don’t see why he can’t have something to drink while he eats too. H: I see your point mom, but you gave him an unknown amount of water which can hurt him. Mil: why is it every time I go slightly outside of your “boundaries” you just get mad at me? H: we are just trying to follow the Drs orders and keep track of what he drinks.

At this point MIL stormed off to her room, we left to get my daughter. MIL finished making dinner texted us while we were gone it was done, then when we got home she locked her bedroom door (which she never closes) and refused to acknowledge my husband any time he knocked to talk to her. He then sent a text to the group chat asking if we were eating as a family or what was happening since we usually all eat together and we have been ghosted all night by them.

This is how it usually goes when we set a boundary or bring up a concern. The last time it happened was when she was over feeding our son when she would watch him and it was causing him intestinal issues and he was puking a lot. We tried explaining then that him crying or being fussy didn’t mean he was hungry and she needed to wait at least 2.5-3 hrs before feeding him. Especially when we would drop him off freshly fed with enough milk to cover however long we were going to be gone and an extra 4-6 oz just in case and we would come back and it would all be gone and she was telling us we need to pack more. When confronted her response was “I will just stop feeding him then” which obviously isn’t a solution.

I just don’t know of any way to voice our concerns to her since it doesn’t matter if they come from me or my husband they are always met with the same type of responses.

Asking Jesus to take the wheel on my life and on my “for you page” is single mom content. Im not a very religious person but I prayed for the first time in forever. I’ve been thinking heavily on my relationship and I’m so miserable but I put up with it just so my kids can see their dad before they go to bed cause he doesn’t bother to spend the day with them but I’m just tossing my life away at this point.

Anybody else have an amazing partner, therapist and psychiatrist and still can’t stop crying. I’m on medication but it doesn’t feel like it’s cutting it.

For context, I had my baby 10 months ago and I have a 21 month old. They are my why and the reason I get up everyday. I just want to know when this fog will lift? People say it’s temporary but when did it stop for you and what helped.

Another huge factor is that I’m in grad school and a military spouse. I guess you could say I enjoy Chao’s.

Whenever my husband gets sick, I get irrationally upset with him. Obviously I know he’s not sick on purpose. I try to understand because it sucks to be sick. But I’m already the primary parent 75-80% of the time. His work is such that his schedule is random, he can’t leave in the middle of the day if our 2 year old has a doctors appointment (and he has a lot since he was a preemie), and he’s not home before 6:30 so I’m always on for making dinner/taking care of our son. Sometimes he works Saturdays or he plays golf one day a weekend (which is 4-6 hours depending on the day) (he doesn’t play on weekends when he works). He’s a wonderful husband and a great father. But I don’t get to be sick like he gets to be sick. And so I feel so incredibly angry. I don’t really feel any sympathy toward him. I don’t even want to go near him. I already have to take care of my son, the pets, the house, and myself (I’m also sick, but not like my husband). I’m not sure what I’m looking for here. I’m just frustrated - with him and with myself. I feel guilty I don’t feel more sympathy for him. I’m not sure how to handle this.

So I am pretty much decided that I am filing for divorce from my husband. We’re going on 13 years together, 7 married and we have a 2 year old and he has a 17 year old.

I’m realizing that I’m happier and there’s less work/stress for me when he’s not around. There’s been control issues and emotional abuse present. I’m the breadwinner and he refuses to get any part time job while getting his business profitable. We have major values/political belief differences. He watches our child 2 days a week and anything beyond that is basically me single parenting; I did all the nighttime wakings and feedings while working full time when our kiddo was little. I started therapy this year and he complains that they don’t bill immediately and doesn’t like that the $10 per session is charged from the account randomly. He doesn’t believe in therapy and if it cost more than that would insist I not go.

Even typing this I’m still feeling so guilty because he will be blindsided when I file. He has been so affectionate lately and I’m struggling knowing what I’m about to do. Divorced moms-are you happier? Did you get used to not seeing your kiddos every day?

I’m currently going through the four month sleep regression and my son is waking every 20-50 minutes at night. No matter how long I hold him for, no matter what our wake windows are, he will not sleep. I’m exhausted and I have a toddler so my days are not relaxing. Not even sure what the point of this post is, other than it’s 3am in the UK and I’m trying not to fall asleep holding him whilst he settles. Probably to just wake up in 10 minutes after he goes down.

I know this will end but I think I just need reassurance that it will!

My baby is 15 months old and I still randomly check on him at night to make sure he is still breathing. Anyone else still do that? Am I crazy? He is my only child. He is super healthy never had anything more than a cold. But still I check on him. I don't trust the little baby monitor either I just like to check for myself. When do you stop worrying about that kind of stuff? I still wake him up randomly in the car too cuz I hear horror stories about babies dying in car seats from blocked airways because of poor positioning.

My 3 year old told me this at dinner tonight. I knew she wasn't very hungry since we had a huge meal at my in laws, she picked all the foods going on her plate, and she helped "make" it all, and she still gave me the compliment.

Frozen cherries (nuked in the microwave for 30 seconds), half a grilled cheese sandwich (cut diagonally), and an overly cwispy hot dog (nuked for 2 minutes - oops).

I'd like to thank the academy

Tonight as I was putting my 8yo to sleep and talking about his bunk bed in his room, and we he asked if we made it. I told him that his daddy and I put the parts together but someone else designed and made everything. He said “Oh, I was probably downstairs watching tv when you did that.” As soon as he said that I envisioned him sitting down there alone it made me sad because I always felt guilty about how much screen time I give them… but then i thought about how he spent so much time in the playroom with the whole family. And I said, “I don’t know, you also loved playing right next door in the playroom a lot”.

I thought about it later and really tried to remember what the likelihood of either scenario would be. And I thought “oh well, if it could have been either one, I’ll choose the happy one”.

And then it hit me.

This is what it feels like to be on the other side of rewriting history. I have a better understanding of why my mom tries to rewrite my history- she wants me to remember happy things, meaning she did a good job as a mom.

I know this is kind of an obvious thing, but experiencing it personally was eye opening.

My son who is 3 is having his two hour long autism assessment test and I’m beyond freaking out. I don’t know what to ask and I don’t know what to expect. He is turning 3 at the end of this month and is mostly nonverbal, he says one words, less than 10 a day and doesn’t use them regularly. He also has behavior issues that have been a concern of mine. Is there anyone who has experienced this? What do I expect or ask? He is currently getting in the process of having an IEP and getting speech therapy in school. If he is autistic I don’t know what resources or things they offer to help. I just feel clueless although I’ve been researching since July. I am so stressed for the whole appointment itself as he generally doesn’t do well with them and we leave both in tears, two hours is freaking me out. Any advice is appreciated

I have a 2.5 month old and he currently HATES being swaddled. I have the Halo swaddle as well as the Love to Dream swaddle AND the Swaddelini. He doesn't mind the Live to Dream swaddle because it allows him to keep his hands up and move them kinda. However his sleep efficiency suuuuucks with it because he can still startle and it kinda wakes him up a lot which in turn makes him cry and fully wake. But when he sleeps in the Halo or Swaddelini, he sleeps great and will sleep 5-7 hour stretches instead of 2-3 with the Love to Dream one. BUT when he's out into these swaddles he gets SO upset and works really hard to move his arms so it's hard to put him down in them. Any other swaddles out there that i should try? Or how do you soothe a baby through this? I feel like no holding position (sitting or standing) soothes him. Even a pacifier doesn't do the trick. I will feed him after i swaddle him to calm him down but he wakes shortly after and fights his swaddle again. Pls help 😅

Hi all,

Pretty straight forward- how long is depression considered PPD? I’ve had trouble finding accurate resources online to get cut offs or information that’s detailed.

My babe is 17m so while I am really not PP anymore, I really feel like I did have some PPD that went untreated. I don’t have many friends around, no mum/grandma, etc. I have a SIL and my own sister but they both have their own kids. I know it’s common to not have that “village” anymore but I’ve been struggling honestly since he was born.

I’m back to my pre baby weight but am overweight and my hormones and energy just always feel off, but when I seek my physician’s advice is always that my panels are fine and I just need to lose weight.

Not sure if anyone was/is in a similar boat, but I’d love some advice! What helped the most? Antidepressants, supplements, etc.

TIA

How do we move past this? The fights are getting worse and worse. I feel so alone 😔

We’re moving in a few weeks, and our new house has enough bedrooms so each kid can have their own room. The trouble is that one room is quite big, and two are normal sized.

My two oldest (8yo and 6yo) both want the big room. My youngest is 3, and doesn’t know the difference.

The 6yo wouldn’t mind sharing the big room, but the 8yo wants his own room, as he’s been sharing since he was 2, and he wants it to be the big room.

Has anyone found a way to choose fairly? (I’m the youngest of 3, and my inner child screams “unfair” at the thought of just letting the oldest choose first)

Any one told if they were on the fence about a third doctor advise against it. As it 100 percent would be your last pregnancy end up having a third (all c sections) not looking to go against a doctor gonna get a second opinion just wondering

The idea of going from being a SAHM seeing my kids every day, all day to 50/50 makes me feel like I’m having a heart attack. I can imagine it’s something you “get used to”, but how do you cope until it becomes the norm? How do you get over that guilt? It’s like I’m okay tackling all the other life changes of divorce but this is the one that hits me like a gut punch.

My two year old received the new Miss Rachel Melissa & Doug puzzle that plays tunes when the pieces are lifted. It doesn’t make a sound with brand new batteries (which were not included).

We troubleshooted by trying other batteries and know that the batteries are not the problem because they work in other devices that we tested.

I forget who gave this to her, obviously no receipt (and I don’t feel it’s polite to ask every single guest if they were her gifted it.

Any suggestions?

I have a new strategy I thought I’d share.

I’m a stay at home mom with a 3 year old and a newborn, and my husband works 12+ hours a day M-F. Some days I don’t know how I’ll get through this, so what I’ve been doing is taking it an hour at a time and asking myself “what will I do to take care of myself in the next hour?”

It could be as simple as I’m going to drink some water, listen to a song I enjoy, or brush my teeth.

I just think as moms we so naturally take care of our kids and neglect ourselves. I hope this helps someone this week! You got this!

So this morning my family & I were getting ready for church & we were almost late because my 11 year old daughter couldn’t find her mantilla,well she could find a mantilla just not the one she wanted & she wouldn’t wear that one because she is very picky.

& we like to be early to church so we were up pretty early so we were still a little tired & this did not help us more.

& she actually never found it but thankfully her older sister had one that kind of looked the same to the one she wanted to wear.

But we were almost late to church because of it, our church starts at 9:30 am & we got there at 9:26 all because she wanted to me difficult.

But does anyone else have a kid like this?

My baby boy just turned 9 months. He has been eating solids since 4 months.

For the last couple of weeks he has been quite fussy while breastfeeding. He’ll get distracted a lot, he’ll randomly stop suckling and bite my nipple (and proceeds to smile at me after lol), and generally doesn’t seem to want/enjoy feeding during the day.

At night he will always breastfeed though, he usually wakes up 1-2 times per night and I will breastfeed him in the bed. He goes right back to the crib after.

He doesn’t fight it at night ever, but during the day he really fights breastfeeding. Is it possible that he could be self-weaning now?

I was planning on weaning next month anyway for my mental health, but perhaps he has chosen it before me??

I have heard it’s rare for babies to self wean before 1 year, but I’m not sure. I am a first time mama

So

1 month ago my daughters (7F) father moved to Florida permanently. We are from the northeast and she has been seeing him every weekend since she was around 2. Her grandmother (dad’s mom) is also in Florida as she moved in May. In about 5 months time - every family member is now thousands of miles away. The worst of it is that my daughter is also now not seeing her sister (4F) as her dad and sister’s mom are not together anymore. She was also seeing them (sister’s mom and sister) on weekends her entire existence basically. My daughter’s acting out, she’s upset and I’ve woken up in the middle of the night to hear her sobbing. It breaks my heart, but I’m struggling just as much. Between now not having any family support, my mom and dad just not being around and my SIL newly diagnosed with cancer and trying to be there for her and my husband + his family….. I’m losing it. I had her at 19 so looking back from 27 I will say that I don’t think I’ve ever felt so alone and not heard. I know shit is hard but this is just on a whole other level. God help us.

I’m sure my fellow moms have funny diaper change stories.

I’ll go first.

My fiance is changing our 2yo’s poopy diaper. I’m in the other room and I hear, “OH LORD”, “OH MY GOD”, “WHAT DID YOU EAT?”, “UGHHH. EEW”.

Then my son, goes “There was a farmer who had a dog and Bingo was his name-o”

My fiance, “THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BE SINGING”

My son: goes quiet for a few seconds “B-I-N-G-O”

It’s always a funny moment when my fiance changes the poopy diapers.

What funny stories do you have.

I have an 8yr 2yr and 3mo. When I just gave birth to my third I was a wreck, I was so stressed and scared for my future, I tried going out and it really was the hardest thing ever… but the sun is shining again lol. We’ve gotten ourselves nestled into such an easy routine now that it feels nearly no different than it used to- I guess that’s what it means to adjust. I didn’t think it was possible but so many of you had words of encouragement that I just want to thank you all and this subreddit for being here during what felt like one of the hardest times of my life, and I want to let you other soon to be mothers of 2 or 3 kids to know that it really does get better.

Hallelujah!

Now give me two more