Hi community -

I am 9 days PP with my third baby in 4 years. With the first two I gained 50-75 lbs and ended up having mild prolapse. I lost all the weight and was down to 145. With this last pregnancy I exercised every day and only gained 25lbs. I feel much better overall than the other pregnancies bc I’ve stayed in shape (and mentally I have to given I have two toddlers!).

But I am so scared of prolapse. I don’t know what “normal” feels like given I had mild prolapse with the others but don’t really remember how I felt. Now I definitely feel a heaviness in my vagina but I’m only 9 days post vaginal delivery (2nd degree tear, only pushed 20 min). It feels a little heavy and like something is right inside towards the back of my vagina… but isn’t that where the stitches are? Maybe I’m just swollen and still not far out from birth so what I’m feeling is just normal stitches/healing?

I do recall the tampon falling out feeling with my others…. It kinda feels Ike that but not totally.

I don’t even know what I’m asking but I’m just scared. Could this uncomfortable feeling just be the stitches/healing? For some reason I thought I’d feel the stitches more towards my anus but when I google it it looks like the stitches are actually inside my vagina?

Any and all reactions, thoughts, guidance, etc are super appreciated.

FTM. My son is 10 weeks old and has been formula fed since he was 8 days old. He’s been on Enfamil Gentlease Neuropro (the purple can) since he started on formula and we’ve never used anything else. (Side note we have been using mylicon for almost a month now and put it in every bottle.)

He rarely spits up, never showed any sign of reflux, never had problems popping, slept pretty well.. generally he’s a happy little baby.

We just had his 2 month checkup last Monday. The doctor was concerned about the amount of eczema he has (I was too and brought it up). It covered the top of his back, shoulders, arms, and he has some spots on his legs. I bathe him in aquaphor baby and use Cerave baby moisturizer and lotion. Nothing harsh, nothing scented.

Our pediatrician suggested switching his formula to Kendamil Organic if we noticed his eczema getting worse.

A few days later we switched because it WAS getting worse. We did 75% old formula with 25% new for 2 days, then 50/50 for 2 days, now for the last 2 days he’s been on 100% Kendamil. His skin looks so much better.

However he’s really struggling with the transition the last couple of days. I feel so sorry for him and it’s making me cry when he cries because I can tell he’s just not used to this new formula. He purple cries and wails in my arms until he tires himself out and it’s breaking my heart. He spit up a lot today, and last night he really spit up before bed.

In your experience how long did it take for your LO to get used to their new formulas when they transitioned? I don’t want to write it off just yet because it’s literally only been 6 days and he was on the same formula for the first 9 weeks of his life.

Not quite 2.5yo accidentally lock herself in the bathroom… time melted as I tried to pick the lock. When it wasn’t working, before trying to kick it in or something - I just explained her what to do…and she did it?!!! JFC!!! My heart. Anyone have hacks for blocking a door knob lock function? Besides removing the whole thing?

Got hit with a terrible cold (gifted to me by my son, of course) and I’m on day 3 of feeling like crap. It’s a sinus infection and nasty cough. The sinus infection has been making my head feel like a balloon. Everything feels so foggy and I’m exhausted. My ears are plugged, my nose is stuffed, my throat is sore. I’m coughing like no other I can barely catch a breath sometimes when I have an episode. I tried getting out of the house yesterday cuz I thought it would help but I ended up getting hit with lots of nausea and lightheadedness.

The past few days of being sick all our days have consisted of is TV, some playing if I can manage, changing LO’s diaper, feeding him meals and snacks, and snuggles (if he will let me lol). I feel terrible we haven’t been able to get back into routine and go to the park like we usually do. I just don’t feel well enough to go back yet. I have no energy or motivation right now, either.

Anybody ever just get so sick like this too?

Just a rant. Before you start reading, I’ve also received so much support and kindness from breastfeeding moms, this post is not about these women.

I’ve never felt more like shit about being a mom and myself in general when some breastfeeding moms saying I didn’t try before giving my baby formula.

My lactation consultant did not come until 30 hours after my son was born, I looked up YouTube videos, asked the nurses (who refused to help me in anyway). My son was screaming and I just wanted him to eat, they made me give his formula cause he wouldn’t latch. She finally came the next morning while he was screaming, all she did was yell at me that I wasn’t doing it right.

After I left the hospital I went to 4 different consultants, bought 2 different kinds of pumps, on top of getting 2 at my shower. I tried so so so hard and was so excited to breastfeed. It never happened for me and I know my PPD is because I can’t feed my baby naturally, when some moms find out I’m formula feeding I get the nastiest looks and say breast is best… I know I tried.

Hey mamas, need some input and advice on this shit.

I want to start off by saying my MIL is a good person at heart and I will FOREVER be grateful to her and FIL for taking me in no questions asked when I first found out I was pregnant and supporting me and my S/O. But for fucks sake this woman has been a damn nightmare since our son was born. For ages, I'm 21, bf is 23, MIL is 54, lil man is 2. Onto the meat of my issues/rant.

This woman is CONSTANTLY overstepping and just being beyond fucking frustrating. Here's a list of shit she's done in chronological order:

• all started with her accusing me of not feeding my 6 month old back when we lived with her because there wasn't a dirty dish in the sink for his baby food (I washed it??) and ripped him out of my arms and yelled that if I didn't want to be a mom, she would do it or find someone who would love and take care of him (I yelled back at her, showed her the empty baby jar and bowl in dishwasher, and told her to back off because she is NOT his mom and I am and she has no right to go off like that on me because there wasn't a fucking dish in the sink)

• made a copy of my house key when I was on a girls' weekend last year and didn't find out til months later (bf didn't know either); she says she made it as a "spare" yet she keeps it 24/7 because she picks our son up from daycare on the days we both work and he "has to nap at our house because he doesn't nap well" at hers

• came INTO MY HOUSE using said key unannounced when my son and I were visiting family and bf was asleep upstairs (he stayed back because he had to work); only reason we knew about it was because a friend was crashing on the couch and he woke up to her rearranging my kitchen cabinets and told her off, woke up bf, and called me instantly

• rearranged half my house and took shit in my son's room, including his firsts from the hospital (footprints, blanket/swaddle, hat) without telling us (I got that shit back don't worry)

• has complete control over bf's bank account/finances and refuses to relinquish control because "he can't be trusted to pay bills on his own" and keeps copies of all our bills (he went to the bank to get her off of it, they won't allow it without her present); yes he has access/control to it all, but she does too

• and most recently (last fucking week) met bf at our son's important ENT appointment, convinced him he can't do it on his own so she should be there to help, and "made the decision" that our son needs surgery (I had the flu and fully knew bf could handle the appt on his own til she got in his head)

That's just a few instances. Bf has had MANY conversations with her, she says sorry then doesn't change a damn thing. She bitches to him about how I'm "controlling" and am the problem (because I want to make decisions with my partner about our son together, like what?????). This is unfortunately what he's used to, his mom has been like this all his life and in her eyes, she's just "helping out" and "can't just do nothing." But you guys, I am at the point to where I'm starting to resent her so fucking much and I'm so tired of feeling like I'm competing with her for the role of mother to my son and partner to my other half. And before someone says to not have her pick him up from daycare, we can't afford full days and she doesn't work, everyone else in our families do and she's literally the only option. I'm at my wits end, what do I do? What advice do you ladies have??

I’m going to get a jogging stroller. Do I need the regular ones? I’m keeping my umbrella stroller & double stroller, but I have 2 regular strollers for a single kid that I feel like I don’t need to have!

Ive been a SAHM for just over 4 years now. My son is now in daycare 3 days a week and my daughter is in grade 1. Im struggling with the monotony of being home all day, every day. I have no family close to us and a few good mom friends, but they all work. Although there is a never ending list of household tasks to be done the work is not stimulating at all. Every day is the same and I feel depressed. It is just me hangin' out at home 90% of the time, by myself or with kids. I do get out for walks and outings with my friends but it doesnt cut it. It doesnt help that Ive applied to about 10 jobs in my field in the last few months and I either get rejected or there is no response. It all just makes me feel down.

I know this is normal but it's still driving my husband and I crazy.

Our 4 year old will hold in her poop until it is coming out of her butt. Sometimes then she'll tell us she needs to poop but there is already a mess in her pants, other times she'll come in from playing outside and 10 minutes later she'll say she has poop on her butt.

We're trying not to shame her and we tell her kindly that she needs to tell us when she needs to poop or just go in the bathroom by herself. But it just keeps happening. We've tried stickers and treats for pooping on the potty (cleanly) have her sit on the potty to poop every night, she is allowed to have her tablet while pooping. We're trying to make it as pleasant an experience as possible. She'll do okay for a few days then gets board of the incentives and starts pooping her pants again.

We've tried Miralax in the past do you think it would help? I'm just really discouraged we've been potty training for so long. peeing is going well she'll do that all by herself. And I know that pooping is usually a hurdle but does anyone have any tricks that helped their kid get it?

there’s someone in my life who i see on a regular basis who has some serious anger issues and who is known to “blow up” for no real reason. we recently had an incident where this person blew up infront of my kids and punched a table next to my kids head and screamed as loud as he could as my other kid was standing no more than two feet from him.

i’ve decided that he is not someone i want my children around and my family is telling me i am being unreasonable and dramatic and i need to get over it. they’re actually making fun of me now trying to make me feel stupid/crazy so i change my mind

Last week my son (7)’s school nurse called to say he had a tooth abscess and needed medical attention right away. Being medical-adjacent I am quite familiar with the dangers of dental abscesses, so I rushed to pick him up from school.

En route, I called his dentist who, as it turns out, left his practice. There were no other dentists in-network at that practice so I called the insurance company who gave me the name of the only other in-network dentist in town. So I call that practice and the soonest they can get him for a new patient appointment in is early May, even with a possible emergency. They recommended the emergency room.

So I arrive at the school and tell the nurse about our appointment and plan to go to urgent care. I look in his mouth and it looks completely normal to me, but what do I know? I’m a social worker, not a nurse.

I took him to urgent care (not the ER thank GOD) and a nurse, a resident, an attending and a second attending, all confirmed there is no abscess. There was a little cut on his gums that looked a bit inflamed, as if he had eaten something sharp - frosted mini wheats, as a matter of fact. No pus, no redness, no tooth involvement, no fever or swelling. “But keep his appointment with the dentist, since they’re the specialists.”

We’ve heard nothing else from him about mouth pain since.

Until today.

When his nurse called and said he has another abscess in a different spot. This time I refused to come get him. There’s no fever (“you can have an infection without a fever”), no swelling (“his gum is inflamed. This is just the start.”) He’s not said a word about it until just now. I can’t get him in ANY sooner with a dentist, there are no emergency pediatric dentists in-network, and without a fever or swelling the ER isn’t going to do anything. I’m NOT picking him up.

So I got an earful from his school nurse about the dangers of ignoring dental problems and the possibility that abscesses can quickly become serious or fatal.

When I picked him up, not only does he not mention tooth pain, he also didn’t remember why he went to the nurse until I reminded him. No swelling, no fever, no pus, no blood. In fact I’m not even sure I see any redness. He’s also given me two different spots when I’ve asked him at different times.

He DID tell me he was in the office that morning because he needed his rescue inhaler, but no one called me about that….????

I’m expecting CPS to come knocking at my door any moment and I’m going to throw a shit fit. I can’t be leaving work and having my kid miss school every other day because of a hypervigilant nurse who wants to hospitalize kids for frosted mini wheat injuries.

Hi moms! My husband and I are flying from US west coast to east coast with our soon to be 9 month old in a couple weeks. We’ve booked three seats just to have the extra space/so I don’t have to nurse next to a stranger. We have a car seat at our destination already, and baby absolutely hates being in hers, so I’ve planned on holding her as a lap infant despite having paid for her seat. I understand that a car seat is safer for turbulence but it’s just not realistic to expect that she would spend any significant amount of time in the car seat without screaming her head off, so that benefit seems pretty moot if I don’t want to make everyone on the plane miserable.

However I am also concerned that she won’t accept being held for 6 hours straight, to the point where I had resigned myself to just bringing her car seat as a back-up option (downside being the three of us are crammed into two seats rather than having the space of a full row). My mom balked when I told her this and said it wouldn’t be an issue to just let baby sit on the plane seat in between my husband and me for short periods if needed. So my question is, has anyone done this? Or did the airline require you to hold your baby for literally the entire time?

Side note, there are no bassinets available on our plane, as I thought this might have been the perfect solution. Thanks for your input!!

Our oldest daughter (11) had been begging me & begging me to get her nails done. Now I don’t think an 11 year old should have acrylics that is my opinion..but dad is in this permanent “yes day” right now & will literally tell our kids yes to anything despite my stance on it. but on top of that she is in Acro & i specifically asked her to not get them done before the season was over because of recital

Well of course despite me telling her & that & telling step mom that…dad let her get them done anyways..fast forward you guessed it another student told her she can’t have them for recital. This is a sport that I solely pay for & facilitate bringing our daughter to because he has no interest.

Dad and step mom took it upon themselves to call the dance studio to confirm this.. to which now they are promoting my daughter telling her she can get them cut really short and paint them nice. When that’s the opposite of what the studio said.

So when I saw our daughter today I told her I know what the plan is because I heard it from step mom and I don’t think that is right to do because they were told no that you cannot have the nails. I offered to pay half of the cost for her to get them put back on because that would probably be the price of a fill. I tell step mom this because I think it is more than fair of an offer.she says “I’ll have to talk to dad because what he says goes” like I’m sorry what?

Why run the risk of them telling our daughter she can’t perform I truly don’t get it I am so frustrated

TLDR; how do moms of velcro babies shower??

I’m over halfway through my maternity leave with my almost 9 week old and really thought I’d be able to do, well, anything by myself by now…. Clearly that was delusional! My LO is a stage 10 clinger velcro baby and while I love snuggles, babywearing, and contact naps, mom at least needs a shower more regularly (especially as it warms up with summer). She does not nap solo, only on me or with me in bed following safe sleep seven, and her nap times are completely unpredictable, so I can’t rely on those windows of time. She barely tolerates the baby bjorn bouncer we have and gets panicky/starts screaming if she can’t see me for more than a minute or two. So… how the heck do I do basic things for myself like take a shower?! Please no “just let her cry” blanket answers, I’m looking for real strategies and tactics with the understanding that she might still cry, but l want to minimize crying and make her feel as secure as possible.

I was assaultend last March, this resulted in a pregnancy, and I kept the baby. When my parents found out they kicked me out. I have been living in a homeless shelter with my baby since she came home from the hospital. She was born December 30th. I am currently unable to work because no one can watch my baby and there is no availability at any daycare. I have paid for everything she has myself including $200 of formula a month. I did have some money saved however I don't now. I am out of my saved money, but I am not asking for money.

I have entered a contest where the winner gets $20,000. I'll use that money to get an apartment and pay for my daughter's daycare, so I can go back to work. It's free to vote and you can cast one vote a day. so please if you could vote for me I will provide a link. If you don't vote please pray for me. As I don't money for her next container of formula. Thank you for reading!

https://thesupermom.org/2024/gabriela-15

My husband really wants a baby.

I don’t want to take care of a baby, I like my freedom. I am coming around to having a baby and do want one now but I need to know what is it really like? Am I never going to be able to relax again?

Can I lay in bed and watch tv all day and they’ll lay there with me too?

Can I set the kid up with toys and stuff and let it be for a few hours in their room?

Is it a constant watch 24/7 or are they capable of independent play before pre k?

Hi, moms.

My daughter has had KP most of her life. This past year it’s been more noticeable, on her face. It’s pretty much all over her cheeks and a little on her neck.

She’s starting high school next year (she’s 11 now) and is starting to get more insecure about it (thanks to other 11-12 year olds who make fun of her).

The doctor said we pretty much need to find a cream that works for her by trial and error.

We’ve used Cerave SA cream which worked OK for a while. But now her face has flared up with more bumps.

Have any of your children experience this? Have you had any luck treating this without a prescription cream?

Just writing a bit to vent. I often see posts and comments here from stressed out moms mentioning that they cried and I always think "wow, I can't imagine feeling that bad." But life is really putting us through the wringer lately.

My husband injured himself almost 3 months ago while I was 8 months pregnant. He's been out of work ever since and just had surgery last week. He's been couch-ridden and sleeping on the couch, though slowly improving. He will likely be recovering for at least six months. Meanwhile, I have a month old baby now and a 4 year old. Last week was rough enough, having to take care of all three mostly by myself with some help from family (doing pick ups and drop offs for 4yo). The baby has been colicky and cries most of the time he's awake.

Well, yesterday, we found out our car was flooded in the trunk. And badly, like a pool of water had been there for months. This is like the third time we've had major issues with the cars in the past year. Then our oldest came home with a fever. She was up in the middle of the night in pain, then vomited all over. She's doing a little better but I'm trying to clean up and just get the place somewhat sanitary even though it wasn't in great shape to begin with.

Now my husband just berated me for making him feel bad about how crappy our yard looks (and has looked basically since we moved in, to be honest!). All I said was I wish we could hire someone to take care of it. He apparently thinks this is an incredible insult to his manhood.

OK, fine. So I cried.

Calling all moms: how do you make it through the fatigue,pp anger, Velcro stages and just everything in early motherhood? I had pp anxiety so bad the first two months but it has subsided Okay. I want to start this with how incredibly hard it is for me to admit my postpartum struggles so turning to Reddit is the easiest thing for me. I am 24, new mom to a 5 month old and a SAHM at that. I love my baby more than anything, but finding out I was pregnant was so hard 😭 I have been in and out of school for a few years trying to figure out life (I’ll spare the details) but the same week I found out I was pregnant I also got into a nursing school. Pregnancy was so hard so I decided not to do my fall semester and ultimately now would have to re apply and things changed on the app. But anyways doesn’t matter. I grew up with divorced parents so I always looked up to my extremely independent mom (we were also so poor) and I wanted to be just like that and always able to take care of myself. I used to have multiple jobs and did everything on my own and I loved my life(to an extent). I miss working, going to the gym, deep cleaning my house every three days lol and just doing all of the normal things!!! I miss everything. Now post baby, I obviously had the baby blues in the first few weeks especially when my fiancé went back to work. It was winter time too which sucked. Both our families kinda suck. We just bought our first house and we are having so many issues with it on top of it being tiny and having 2 big crazy German shepherds. But now I’ve gotten the hang of things, and it seems even more impossible. My baby won’t let me put him down even for a second to pee. He’s EBF, and very Velcro baby but it’s getting to the point where I am so drained, it’s turning to anger and then after I rage I just get so sad. I can’t cook dinner, I don’t even feed myself half the time during the day bc I just can’t. Every hour and a half he’s usually ready for a nap that I have to hold him for …I’m just so lost I hate getting angry. I have outburst at him, the dogs and my fiancé bc i feel so over stimulated and on top of it I don’t feel myself. I used to be so vibrant (lol) but literally now I am just drab and ugly and feel so gross all the time. HOWdo you moms do it? I want to have kids close in age and the thought of having more , let alone being pregnant while taking care of a baby seems impossible. I need to be able to put him down at least for naps … I also want to add I’m possibly getting diagnosed with MS, I had some tests done on my back for other injury and they found something and now I’m awaiting more tests. Obviously this would be a cause/and exacerbate some of these issues I already have, but any advice on that would be great too. Ok end rant.

Im trying to figure out my options and could use help. I’ve had my cat going on 14 years, since he was a kitten and have moved him with me between countries, I have loved this cat. I had my son 9 months ago and he is now crawling and obsessed with this cat. My cat is obviously older now, he’s 14 and has always been a biter and swatter and while I’m trying to teach my son to be gentle he is just not grasping it. He chases after the cat and wants to corner and grab him at every opportunity. My cat has unsuccessfully tried to bite and scratch him a few times now and while we’ve really wanted to figure this out, my husband and I are considering rehoming. Has anyone been through this and what are the realistic options? Idk how likely training this behavior is out of an old cat.

When did you enroll your children ondental or vision plans? My husband enrolled our son when he was born, but then we found out our dental office will not see him until 2 yrs old and our eye doctor does not see kids unless there is an issue. Did you add them to either of these plans from the beginning just in case there was an issue and they would need to be seen by one of the specialties, or did you wait till they were older?

I’m 5ft 2inches and weigh 135-140 lbs. I used to be SO skinny, like 110 lbs. I just had my 2nd baby 3 months ago, pretty much back to back pregnancies. After my first, I “snapped back” pretty much immediately. After this pregnancy, I definitely did not. I definitely am chubbier than I’ve ever been, but I am not FAT. I have a way bigger butt, bigger boobs, and my hips are way wider than before. Of course I wouldn’t mind shedding a few pounds, but I’m honestly pretty confident in my body right now. I finally have something on me after being skin and bones for so many years. I had a major eating disorder in high school and am happy I’ve started loving the body I have. I’m nursing 2 infants right now + obviously feeding myself… I eat A LOT. Do I make the healthiest eating choices? Absolutely not lol. But my husband eats the exact same way as me, and has gained some weight over the last couple years as well.

Yesterday, I said I needed a snack. He told me I should probably calm down with eating so much, and that he “wants me to make a healthier lifestyle for myself”. He said I should start working out daily, because he doesn’t want to have to push me around in a wheelchair in 10 years. When I was offended, he said he’s not at all calling me fat, he’s just saying I should make better choices for myself so I’m happy with myself and can keep up with the kids. I’m a stay at home mom to 2 under 2, my ENTIRE life revolves around chasing them around. We go on walks daily, I chase the toddler around alllll the time, and i do yoga at home a few times a week. I have 0 time for myself whatsoever, and I don’t want to spend the little free time I do have, working out because my husband thinks I’m fat. I now feel embarrassed to even eat around him, because now I feel like he’s judging every single thing I’m putting in my body. He’s annoyed with me now bc I “twisted his words” and “all he said was he wants me to feel at my best, which means a healthier lifestyle”. Am I being dramatic by being embarrassed to eat around him now? Like I mentioned earlier, he eats the EXACT same stuff as I do and his only workouts are chasing the kids as well… but I’ve never said anything of the sorts to him.

My son is 20 months old and I've been on extended leave (unpaid and they can put me wherever they want when I return) since I had him. I am now pregnant with my 2nd and due in September. I was supposed to return to work in July, but I'd have to work for at least 6 months to become eligible for another maternity leave so I basically need to notify my employer and resign because that's logistically impossible. I could ask for an exception to the 6 month policy, but I really feel bad asking them to give me so much time off because I don't actually intend to return to work until my kids are in school. It is a government job and they've hired so many people since I've been out so my absence isn't really noticed. BUT while on maternity leave I finished my masters degree and got my professional engineering license (PE) and although I know I want to be home with my kids, I'm finding it so hard to actually officially resign. I feel like I have this super valuable license that's just sitting there. My husband and I are able to live on his salary, we have a new mortgage that is looming over our heads but can still leave pretty peacefully and put $ away into savings with his income. I do not think we could afford regular childcare for my toddler on just his salary though. But, if I return to work we'd have literally no financial concerns, could pay our mortgage off in a matter of months and start saving for a rental property which is our long term goal, everything would just be sped up double time.

I'm already 18 weeks along and I was going to resign at 12 weeks but now I'm waiting until the anatomy scan next week. If something happens with this pregnancy, I would likely return to work in July. I do love my job and they offered for me to work only 3 days/week, and every other week would be WFH. So I would put my toddler in daycare for 3 days/week but every other week I'd basically just be home alone and have to work like 1-2 hours/day realistically because there are very few deadlines and I can get everything done on my office days. As a current SAHM with busy toddler days, this sounds so enticing (to have 3 days every other week completely to myself) but on the other hand I love spending time with my son and all I see are 'cherish this time with them' messages. I think he is developmentally ready for a daycare program but not necessarily full days so it would be a little rough for him I think.

As the need to resign gets closer I'm finding I'm convincing myself that I can go back to work in July and put my toddler in daycare, have this baby in September, and return to work 6 months later if they allow it. Having my son in daycare would also mean a much easier maternity leave since I'd be home with just the newborn for 3 out of 5 weekdays instead of home with both of them. How does anyone make this decision? I feel like it should be a no-brainer but I'm putting it off so much.

What do you do when someone hits/pushes your kid?

My son just turned 2. We go to the same parks every week. Recently, a few kids were climbing on an animal statue and my LO ran over to the statue and put his hands on it while looking up at the kids. A little girl on the statue, probably 4 yo, reached down and smacked him in the head and yelled “you can’t come up!”

I was honestly stunned, so was my kid. He grabbed his head and stood there for a second before running over to me and crying. I didn’t know how to explain it to him and I didn’t know if I should say anything to the mom? Her and a friend were sitting on the outskirts of the playground. A mom I was near told me that the same little girl hit her kid a few weeks ago. She’s like “I would march right up to that girl’s mom and say something!!” I’m just very non confrontational. What do you do in these situations, if anything?

I don’t mean songs about being a mother or about loving a baby boy. Literally just a song about a little boy. Soft and slow that can be turned into a lullaby.

For example: I sing Norah Jones’s “Seven Years” to my daughter as her lullaby. It’s just about a little girl dancing in her room.

Looking for something similar for my son.

I mean that's really it.

My baby is absolutely beautiful, absolutely perfect. That's the thing though, he's a baby. What the literal f is wrong with people who make comments like this??????????

That's a major red flag and if you're okay with people talking about your baby's like that or you are the people who talk about babies like that, explain yourselves

ETA: it's a woman in her mid 60s, who does have children of her own

TLDR: My mother and brother have conditioned my son into calling my brother “daddy”. Upsets both partner and I but we don’t want to cause turmoil.

Sorry if this is long, I just need to rant and maybe see if my feelings are justified and valid.

So my mother, brother and his daughter have been living with my partner, I and our son for quite some time now. My brother is the caretaker of my mother. She is very ill and cannot work so we all collectively agreed to pitch in, pay bills and live together until my brother could afford to move into his own home with my mother and his daughter to make things easier on them and also us to save money. It’s finally about to happen, my partner and I have also decided to move into a bigger and nicer home in a week and a half from now. We’re all very excited to finally get into our own homes again.

My son’s bio father left when my son was under a year old. He disappeared and cut contact so my son has no idea who he is. He sees my partner as his father. He has always called him daddy. Because he sees my niece call my brother daddy, so naturally my son has caught onto my partner being that “daddy” role in his life. It was purely something he caught onto himself and started doing on his own.

Within the past year, for some reason unknown to me, my mother and brother (mainly my mom) have been purposely saying things and making comments to almost condition my son into calling my brother daddy. I’ve tried to make comments to my mother about how I don’t really like that but I feel as if it just blows right over her head. The household is already really tense with all of us living together and just a complete nightmare day in and day out. I’ve just been trying to ignore it for the past year knowing that eventually we’d all move out into our own homes.

Recently my son has now only been calling my brother daddy. He either calls my partner by his name or “daddy (insert name)”. I am just livid at this point. They have slowly over the year conditioned my son into calling my brother daddy, completely disregarding my feelings about it. I’ve tried to keep the peace this past year for the better and happiness of us all by not causing a situation over it. But at this point I’m really about to just lose it. We move in just a week and a half…. If I have to hear them say something about it one more time I’m gonna scream. Or cry. Or both. I don’t know how I’ve kept my mouth shut about it all this time but it’s not gonna last much longer.

I love them all so much but gosh…. They really just rub me the wrong way. A week and a half left…. And then we can maybe have some peace.

Some deeper context: my mother is a huge drama queen, she takes everything to heart, and isn’t very fond of keeping her word out of other’s personal business. She always wants to make a scene about something and always thinks she’s right. My brother is honestly a know-it-all a**hole, an even bigger drama queen and takes on a lot of the same characteristics as my mother. They are good people for the most part and I love them dearly, but knowing how they are and not wanting to cause any family drama in the home I literally live in currently, this is why I haven’t caused much of an issue about it. Also because I know my mother is gonna pass from her illness sooner rather than later. I’d rather keep the peace and enjoy my time with her while I have it than bring up an issue I KNOW she will get upset about.

My 4 month old (10 week premature) daughter was on donor breastmilk for most of her life. She was recently diagnosed with a gluten intolerance and had to swap to formula. They recommended Gentlease because of her being a preemie. She can’t keep it down at all. She throws up half of each feed. So I’d give her two ounces she’ll throw up one and if I give her one ounce she throws up half an ounce. I think she might also have a dairy intolerance. Her brother also had both, but I was able to breastfeed him so all I had to do was alter my own diet.

What’s everyone’s recommendation?

I have a surgery scheduled on Monday to remove dermoid cysts from my ovaries as well as a polyp in my endometrial canal. My 14 month old is very attached to me as well as my husband but we’ll both be in the hospital from Sunday night onwards till Tuesday afternoon. Our daughter will be with my parents during this time frame but how do I prep her that I won’t be here? If I leave when she’s sleeping I have a feeling she’ll be more upset and will refuse to eat (I had left her once at my mother’s after she fell asleep for a doctor’s appointment and CT scan and returned to find out she refused to eat anything even her favourite snacks while I was gone).

The doctor has advised not to bring our toddler if possible due to her immune system developing and being at a risk at the hospital especially during viral season even during visiting hours. So we’re thinking video call and husband will go to visit her from time to time (the hospital is near my parents’ place). I will be moving to my parents’ place on Thursday night so that we can establish a routine there.

Any tips that helped in easing your toddler with the change? She understands many things at this stage but I am so stressed for her. It’s a couple of days for us but it might feel like eternity to her and I’m so lost in this case scenario. Everyone who has a kid in my circle tells me “she’ll get over it no need to think about it so much” but my husband and I know she will be impacted by it a lot.

Any advice would be appreciated, thank you.

So, I had my daughter in January and I am getting married in December.

Graciously my in laws gave us a pretty big budget for a honeymoon. So we have been talking about going to Disneyland alone since LO will be pretty small still and.. it’s our honeymoon.

But can i leave my child for that long?!

She will stay with my in laws and my parents. Then there’s that issue! I feel like I want my in laws to be in charge of her mostly and my mom can help out but how do I say that without being a cunt?!

This is more than 8 months away and I lay in bed stressing about this.