I ask this question coming from a place of genuine curiosity and no judgment. We have had periods of full-time childcare, part-time childcare, and no childcare. I chose this sub because this phrase is more commonly said used against moms.

I have seen this phrase used when people discuss daycare: "someone else is raising your kids." People have said this to me as well. Why is that phrase used only regarding daycare and preschool? Why, when kids begin primary school, does this phrase disappear? Primary school has similar hours to daycare and preschool. Primary school is five days a week. Someone else is teaching your child during those hours.

I want to reiterate that this is a curious question, not a judgmental question.

Postpartum for me has been a bit challenging, definitely exhausting but overall i’m just super blessed to have my baby and I love her so much that I overlook a lot of the hardships. For her dad I feel like it’s a whole different story he has been isolating himself and gets really frustrated with our baby and this stresses me out more than the baby herself. He will just let her scream without trying to figure out why she’s screaming and then complain and get frustrated that she’s screaming which leads me to just grabbing her and doing most of the work. The first 2 weeks he was so helpful and attentive to the both of us and now it just feels like he doesn’t want to deal with us. I know fathers can deal with pp depression, I just don’t know how to handle it or if I should bring it up to him. It’s starting to make me very irritable which i’m trying not to be.

Question. My grandson was in a Christmas concert at his school (1st grade). My own kids were always happy to participate in things like this, at that age. He was straight up crying at a few points. I, and all of my kids, have some social anxiety, but it never expressed itself this early. Should we continue to encourage him to be part of the group, or should we request that, maybe, he can help with something in the background, or …?

I am not a frills and dresses 24/7 girl and most of my wardrobe is black HOWEVER When did you start dressing cute again? Not like I don't put effort into my outfits but most of the time I stay in comfy clothes. Which I know is momma uniform but I have a 14 month old. He still makes messes and pulls on me so skirts and dresses have been fully avoided unless it's a special occasion. I love my giant shirts and leggings but when does it become easier to bring back some other options. I know I'm rambling but any words of wisdom appreciated

So I am having a really hard time recently (the last few months). My daughter won’t sleep for me at night. I am her only parent so it’s just me. I barely get three hours a night and I feel like I’m going crazy. It doesn’t matter what I do she will not sleep. I have tried white noise, baths before bed, bed time stories, bed time shows, no screens for two to three hours before bed, no food an hour before, a snack before I put her down, milk before bed, just plain relaxing and watching a movie and so much more but SHE WILL NOT sleep. If she does it’s for one to two hours and then she is up bouncing around again. I’m really struggling and I feel like I’m failing as a parent because she won’t sleep at night so she is sleeping through the day. I am so exhausted and I just want some sleep. I am just floating through life at this point and it sucks cause I work full time and just want to enjoy whatever time I can with her after work but I’m so tired most of the time I can’t even enjoy playing with her because I’m too busy trying to keep myself awake.

I'm trying to find ways to enjoy my son more and not view him partly as a chore/task. I'm trying to love him as a baby (It's sad to say, but when he has neverending gas from extensive orals ties AND needs stretches for torticollis, Its difficult to enjoy time with him. I feel guilty on days where I don't do his torticollis stretches at all because it's not how I want to spend my day. I feel like getting him involved and into toys besides a play mat would be good for us both❤️

My LO is almost 8 months old and shows absolutely no interest in trying to stand. Every time I try to prop her up on her feet, she either lifts her legs up or makes them limp. I am so nervous about cerebral palsy but don’t know if I’m just being overly anxious. The ped said give it until her 9 month appointment and then we can look into getting her evaluated by PT. But did anyone else have this issue with their baby?

Any time she may put a little pressure on her feet when I hold her to stand, she usually will arch back and get fussy.

She is rolling and she likes tummy time/will turn in circles on her belly but not crawling yet.

I have a 3.5 year old daughter. She memorized her first book around 2.5, I have a video of her reading parts of No David around 26 months old. Now, reading isn't the word I don't think. We read it so many times she knew what each page said. We're now onto about 4 books she's memorized, super simple books. She can't actually read yet. She can spell her name, write the letters in her name, and she knows everyone's beginning letter of their name. I am curious if anyone's child was similar and how it played out for them? We read "All About Bingo" probably 45 nights in a row and a Halloween book from Aldi we're going on close to 60 days of reading that one every night. We read them so much she's memorized each page and I am working with her on pointing to each word to recognize what the word is. Our pediatrician hasn't brought up any concerns but I wonder if the repetition that she enjoys is worrisome?

Will try to make it short: We have 2 kids ages 4 and 6. My in-laws offered to have the kids over to their house for 2 weeks this summer so my husband and I could go away on a trip. We’ve been eyeing an international trip. My first thought was “YES!!!” but now I’m second guessing it…

Am I selfish for wanting to take a trip with just my husband and no kids for that long? Will I miss them too much? (We’ve been away from them max of a week a couple of times.) Are they at ages that they will be homesick for us and that it will make it hard for them?

Looking for advice if you’ve considered this, done this or have any insight?

Hiya! I’m a mom to 3 amazing munchkins and I couldn’t be more grateful but I’m hoping for some advice. My youngest is 3.5 months old and has recently started giving me issues with her bottle. Now I fortunately never experienced this so I’m in uncharted waters Backstory- my baby was great. She was on a schedule during the day of feeds every 4 hours during the day and usually 1 feeding at night. She is on a flow 1 nipple It wasn’t until she caught a cold that she started eating worse- not finishing her formula, more night wakes Its been 2 weeks and she is flat out pushing the bottle out of her mouth and getting her to eat a whole bottles worth is a battle I’m not winning

Again I feed every 4 hours (7,11,3,7) and she naps 9-11,1-3,5-6) Usually whatever she doesn’t eat at her feeding time, I’ll give right before nap and she’ll finish most if not all. If even bought a 2 flow nipple but it’s not helping I’ve tried a different formula with the same outcome and a different bottle (Dr Brown is our daily but I used a Phillips Avent) in case the problem is the bottle

What’s a sleep deprived mom to do Thanks!

Can't do it while she's awake, she wants to play with the cutters and the file. Can't do it when she's asleep, the file noise wakes her up. Scared to try to clippers in the dark😭 help please her nails are turning into claws

FTM to an almost 8mo and when my lo was first born, my dad called me a "mask nazi" for making people wear masks when they were around the newborn.
Yesterday my dad came for a visit and he brought a random friend with him. When I asked them both to take off their shoes in the living room where my lo crawls around and use hand sanitizer before my dad could play with my lo, he turns to the rando and said "my daughter is the definition of helicopter parent." I know I need to just not give a fuck but what the hell! I hope as I embody being a parent more and more I can just stop caring but right now I'm pissed and it's not even the holidays yet. Ugh pray for me

So my daughters having a birthday on Saturday. It’s at a kids play place and they spend an hour and a half playing in the play area and then an hour in the party room.

We planned for pizza, cake and opening gifts in the party room.

Should we plan like a craft or a game in the party room itself? Or is an hour going to fly by doing just pizza, cake and presents?

Any suggestions? They’re six year old girls.

So with my first son who is now 3, I tracked everything. I was your typical neurotic first time mom, I used huckleberry app to track soiled diapers, how long he was breastfeeding and how often and naps/sleeps.

I'm now 7weeks PP with my 2nd son and I swore off tracking diapers and feedings, but I am tracking sleeping at night, not naps. First I wanted to see if there were any patterns or if his sleeping got better as the weeks went on, but I find myself stressing again about our stretches of sleep and being mad that he only slept for an hour according to the timer in the app. I did find the pattern that his longest stretch of the night is the first stretch and all the rest are shorter.

Now Im starting to think I should stop tracking sleep because I find myself getting upset if he wakes up and the app says it's only been an hour. Or if his first stretch of the night is only 2 hours I already know I'm going to be in for it with the wbry hour wake ups. I'm wondering if I'm just stressing myself out and it would be better to just not look at the clock at all and just roll with it.

Do you newer pp moms still track sleep?

My son is 2.5 years old. I got him into a toddler tumbling class, 45 mins once a week.

We went this past Monday and god it was awful 😭 he was soooo excited, but he is also bullheaded and only wants to do what he wants to do… he pretty much just sprinted circles all over the gym. He smacked into 2 of the other kids, luckily just shoulder bumps but I still felt so bad. He didn’t wanna do the stretches or participate in the tumbling exercises. I had to literally hold him and do it w him. There’s only 5 kids in total in the class and they were all so chill.

Has anyone else gone thru this? Did it take time before they understood the class? I’m dreading taking him again..

So, this is just a rant because I need to get it out. I'm 2 months pp, and had a three day fight with my partner. So I went with my LO to cool off and stay at my parents place. We eventually made up and one thing led to another.

Never have had a condom break, and we're usually very careful. So today I went to the pharmacy and grabbed the plan b and had some snotty judgemental prick making comments behind the till. I asked him to speak up, and he replied that it was none of his business. Hell yeah it's none of your f***ing business.

So me being a hormonal mess still, I let him have it. And probably embarrassed myself more than him, but whatever. These things happen, that's why there are such pills to help you out in a jam. Not to judge someone and make comments if you don't agree with them.

My husband and I are about to start trying for kids and we eventually want 4 kids all close in age (I know how the comments are gonna look after that) but, we want to start looking at cars that are suitable for that. I love the Tahoes, but it doesn’t seem practical for that many kids plus when they start getting into sports etc. and then I started looking at suburbans but they seem huge which I know I will appreciate when the day comes that I have 4 kids. Does it make sense to get a smaller sized sedan for now and then upgrade as we have more kids? Or does it make sense to just get the large car so that we have it? What vehicles are you driving??

My 18 month old’s pediatrician recommended speech and autism screening and to get his hearing tested. He can say a couple words, none of which he uses to communicate. He says “duck, quack, ball, yay, wee” but he like says them to himself and mostly babbles still he says “mama” and “dada” but he doesn’t say it to us it sounds more like babbling. He does not respond to his name, for the life of me I try so much to get him to and he just won’t. He also doesn’t point, he doesn’t hand us objects, he doesn’t wave. He does things like shakes his head randomly, shuts his eyes, bounces a lot when he’s sitting and when he’s walking too, sometimes he paces. He has been able to do independent play all his life, he could spend all day playing by himself. When we play with him he does play with us but then after a while he goes and does his own thing. He does give eye contact good and he smiles and laughs a lot and is really happy, he loves to give hugs. His pediatrician recommended speech therapy and an autism screening because of all these things. I feel like I don’t know what I should do because he’s just a baby, it seems kind of crazy to be screened for autism so young. My mom thinks it’s ridiculous and she’s extremely against me taking him in, my husband also thinks he’s too young and should just get his hearing tested. I feel like I don’t know if he’s just being a toddler or if these signs are important, I just want so bad to see some communication, it’s like he’s in his own world all the time. I don’t really know what to do.

I have a very strong willed 19mo girl who I love to pieces. But every time we try to go to any place (store, kids museum, play group) she has a full blown meltdown. It’s almost always when we have to leave, or when she’s just not wanting to follow our lead so we have to carry her. So we went to a Christmas event today and I was trying to put her in her car seat as she was having a tantrum. Then a random mom who was getting in her car with her older kids said, “What are you doing to that baby?!” I calmly responded, “Trying to put her in her car seat, would you like to help me? She’s having a tantrum since we are leaving.” She responds, “My children NEVER had tantrums like THAT. You must give her ZERO discipline at home.” I looked at her as I finished getting my toddler in her seat and said, “Excuse me? You have no idea who I am and how I parent. She just didn’t want to leave because she had so much fun.” She looked blankly at me and said, “Well you must be a pretty bad mother if she doesn’t want to go home.” Then before I could respond she got in her car and pulled away. I’m stunned, I always try my best to give my daughter the life I never had. My family already gives me a hard time for deciding not to spank her. If anyone has any tips to reduce the tantrums or any other advice would be much appreciated. 🙏🏻

Considering leaving but I'm having a hard time with it

Tonight is the game awards. For non-nerdy moms that’s an award show for video games. There’s announcements for new games as well as awards.

They announced an untitled addition to some games that are very important to my husband and I. My husband and my daughter (16mon) were in the play yard and I came back from the bathroom to see the announcement. I got emotional (I’m a nerd) and sat next to the play yard to recover. My daughter peeped over the play yard at me and then put her straw cup to my lips 🥺❤️. When she’s crying or emotional I offer her water. It was a super sweet moment.

What has your toddler done lately that’s been sweet!!!

Single mom here… working for nothing. I’m a paraprofessional. I get paid semi weekly and my checks are under $800. I don’t even have any presents for Christmas bought yet for my 1 and 6 year old. I feel frustrated and broken. Anyone else?

I'm barely able to keep things afloat in my household (ftm with a 10wk old) and with the holidays fast approaching the panic has set in: I have not bought a single gift. Partner and I are good, no need for presents there. But what on earth can I gift my parents that is fast easy and isn't just saying "I gift you a grandbaby this year" (truth be told that's not the worst idea...)

I’m a mother of two young children. I’m very lucky to stay home with them while my husband works, but we’ve had to make financial sacrifices to do so. Before having kids, I lived 2,000 miles away from my hometown, road-tripped tons, and even lived abroad briefly.

I live in my hometown now, and am settling in to the fact that the days of adventures, traveling, and moving across the country are probably over. I want more than anything to move away again, but doing so would be extremely difficult and a big risk. Worth noting this is something I’ve wanted to do for years and only planned to move home temporarily.

I would really love to hear from other moms who have had the same insatiable urge to move or travel. Did you end up doing it? Was it worth it? If you didn’t, does that desire ever go away?

My baby has had a diaper rash for just over two weeks now. It is very red and it has some bumps. I’ve been leaving of the diaper during the day frequent changes at night. I’ve used aquaphor, Boudreauxs, and now using nesporin. It looks to get better then just get worse out of no where. I’m currently using pampers baby dry for a month wondering if that could be causing a rash. Any tips or tricks that worked for you would be helpful. Also how long does it typically take for these to clear up.

My daughter turned 3 last month, she got her first molars at a normal time and her second molars right when she turned 2. She’s been gritting her teeth together a lot and clinking them together really hard and it’s been driving me nuts, when I told her to stop doing that earlier she said “but mom, I have more molars” and I felt and she really does, on one side (on the bottom only) you can just feel them and on the other they’re about to break through the gums. I called her pediatrician’s nurse line and they said just to talk to her dentist, but her dentist is closed for the night. She says they don’t really hurt they just feel weird. Just curious if anyone else has had problems with this and found out why it happened, I know they’re not supposed to come in until 6-7. She does have tongue ties and a gap in her front teeth, I know that can cause myofunctional problems but they didn’t stop her from nursing at all and her dentist is not concerned so we haven’t done anything about them.

I am sick of it. Not the breastfeeding but NAP TIME. He’s 15 months and won’t nap without nursing. He fights his sleep. It’s not just that he wants boob but even when I try to lay him down for a nap he fights his nap. Will latch on and off 100 times and try to go off and play so I have to rock him (my back is in shambles) till he gets super drowsy and then put him back on the boob. And then he’ll sleep for a long time while I can be getting stuff done in the house, he wants to be latched for the whole nap and will notice and wake up if I’m gone for more than 10 minutes. It’s torture. All the hours I spend laying in bed everyday trying to put this child to sleep and keep him asleep 😩 some times I’m so tempted to just give up on naps and let him fall asleep out of pure exhaustion everyday until he gets used to falling asleep that way. Does that sound crazy? “Free napping”. I just made that up. Is there a way to free myself from this nap time hell?

Not looking for medical advice but more logistics. I have 16 month old twins who seem to be passing a stomach bug back and forth.

What are some tips for bed time? We are doubling up the sheets and mattress protectors but they still end up throwing up all over themselves and it’s not an easy clean up in the night.

We’ve brought one baby at a time into bed with us to try to catch the vomit before it gets all over them but it’s so tiring being virtually up with them all night.

Any tips for managing this? In a cycle of puking, cleaning, puking, cleaning and I am hoping there are some tips and tricks out there!

I’ve never had to but now I’m in this position. Thankfully I have a great therapist and supportive husband. It’s sucky but I’m at peace knowing I’m putting my family, most importantly my child, first. Hugs to anyone else going through the same!

he’s staying home from dad’s today with a cold because dad’s step kids have hfm 🙃 feeding cheese to the cat is way better than contracting viruses this weekend 😅