/r/women

Photograph via snooOG

A safe, respectful space to discuss the lives and stories of women of all backgrounds, and the current events which affect us.

Trans people and especially trans feminine people are expressly welcome here.

People of all genders are welcome; feminist cred appreciated.

Shaming women's choices and invalidating the perspectives of other women is not allowed here. Respect other life choices.

We are baby and childless friendly.

We are housewife and working woman friendly.


/r/women supports /r/blackladies


/r/Women is a safe, respectful space to discuss the lives and stories of women of all backgrounds, and the current events which affect us.

Trans people and especially trans feminine people are expressly welcome here.

People of all genders are welcome; feminist cred appreciated but not required.

Shaming women's choices and invalidating the perspectives of other women is not allowed here. You must respect other's life choices.

We are baby and childless friendly.

We are housewife and working woman friendly.

We are not friendly to any person who believes they know what's best for another.

/r/women also recommends the following subs for women:

/r/TwoXChromosomes - Our "little sister" who went default.

/r/ThrowingShade - Discuss the podcast that takes all the issues important to ladies and gays, and treats them with much less respect than they deserve.

/r/fangirls - For the smart, creative, wonderful women who love talking, reading, and creating about entertainment.

/r/feminisms - For feminist viewpoints, including all schools of academic feminist thought.

/r/democrats - Expressly welcoming to politically active women.

/r/WomenInFiction - To discuss all your favorite female characters.

/r/WomenShredders - Women doing extreme sports and other inspirational things.

Have a suggestion for a recommended sub? Need a recommendation on a specific topic? Send us a mod message, and we'll make sure an appropriately woman friendly sub gets added to the list. Our recommendation list is an ongoing project.

/r/women

149,405 Subscribers

0

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0 Comments
2024/04/27
20:30 UTC

1

20 questions

What are some juicy questions to ask your partner in a game of 20 questions?

0 Comments
2024/04/27
20:27 UTC

4

Am I too tall to wear heels?

Hey ladies , this is prob so stupid to ask lol but I’ve always been insecure bout my height. Do yall think it’s alright if I wear heels? I’m 5’8 and 115. I wanna build confidence on this style but always felt like heels were better for shorter girls. Is a tall girl with heels attractive or nah? 🩷

6 Comments
2024/04/27
20:25 UTC

2

straight woman who wants a relationship but doesn’t want to be disrespected

maybe i’m jaded, but i feel like being jaded at 25 is counterproductive to the problem im facing. I’ll keep it short and sweet, hoping this thread just opens up a dialogue that makes me feel less alone or gives me some new perspective.

the gist is that i really enjoy the companionship that having a boyfriend offers, but can’t help but feel defeated by the way men view and treat women. i value my female friendships but don’t think it’s wrong to long for a romantic partner - and seeing women isn’t an option given my sexuality. i guess i’ve just found that some men are outwardly disrespectful toward women while others think that being a bystander is the best they can offer. do men who actively try to change the narrative exist? i want to believe they do but haven’t had the most compelling evidence

3 Comments
2024/04/27
20:23 UTC

2

Make a decision!!

I just need to vent. I’m a woman and I am so sick of my female friends never being able to make a decision. We’re trying to plan something and now it’s down to the wire. Still no decision.

“Oh wherever you guys wanna go is fine with me!”

“I’ll eat whatever!”

“I’ll meet up at whatever time is convenient for you!”

“Someone else can pick!”

I’m usually the one who ends up making the final decisions in the group and I’m just so tired of it. This time I’m keeping quiet. Either you all pick a time and place, or we don’t meet up at all. My patience is running thin.

0 Comments
2024/04/27
20:03 UTC

3

Does anybody else ever have vivid dreams of having a child and wake up missing a baby you never had?

This has happened to me a lot since I got married. Last night I had a dream that I had a child and when I woke up I felt very empty. I felt like I had lost my baby- a baby I’ve never had. It felt so real that I even took a pregnancy test just in case (it was negative).

I’m not trying for a baby, and I am not anywhere close to being ready for one. Sometimes I don’t know if I want kids. But then I have one of these dreams and wonder if people can relate?

0 Comments
2024/04/27
19:25 UTC

5

Guys in the thread

Hi! I (19F) would like to see your opinions about guys scrolling through the r/women in this subreddit. Do you think this should be a place for women only to feel safe and to share about the hardships we face without men judging or seeing some of the more private things on here? Or should this be an open conversation that can be educational for men too? I’d like to know what you think! There are no good or bad answers. Love y’all stay strong.

3 Comments
2024/04/27
19:10 UTC

13

My weight hasn’t changed. I’ve always been 102 lbs. I started tanning and went brunette, men saying I’ve “gained weight”. Are they that stupid?

13 Comments
2024/04/27
17:53 UTC

2

AITA for deleting a friend of social media?

AITA for cutting contacting with a friend when I was ill?

Me and a girl, I’ll call Kate stopped being friends the end of 2022. In October of that year I suddenly got really ill. I was having up to 40 seizures a day and was in and out of hospital for the next 6 months until I finally got a diagnosis. The first seizure I had me and Kate spoke about it and she was quite supportive. Doctors originally told me it was a one off and probably won’t happen again.

The very first seizure I had was on the Tuesday. We were due to go to bottomless brunch/a night out on the Saturday. Because I had hit my head and had a pretty severe concussion I was advised not to drink alcohol for at least a month. I told her I didn’t want to go but we could maybe go for lunch somewhere instead. She was moody with me for not wanting to go, so we just left it and I then saw on Instagram, she went on a night out with someone else.

After about a month I realised that she hadn’t once asked me how I was, if I needed anything or came to see me. I was very conscious at the time that I didn’t want to seem as if I was complaining about being ill and be depressing to talk to, so would try and keep it to a minimum but would tell her if I was back in hospital and ask how she was.

After about a month I realised she hadn’t replied to a few messages and didn’t seem to really care. I’ll admit that at the time I was very depressed so maybe I should have made more effort? I just stopped making as much of an effort and she never messaged me again. To me it seemed like because I couldn’t go out every weekend and be fun anymore she didn’t really want to know.

Summer last year I decided to just delete her off everything. The main reason was because it made me feel shit everytime I saw her going out because I still missed her and missed being able to do that sort of stuff. Also what was the point if we weren’t friends (I tend to keep social media very private).

A few days ago she requested to follow me on instagram. I messaged her asking how she was. I then said I was surprised she had followed me. She just said “well you stopped following me on everything”. I explained why I had that and she said the reason she didn’t reach out was because she was having a really hard time and was ‘mentally fucked’. I said she could’ve spoken to me abou if she was struggling but it didn’t seem like she was having a hard time an if she was going out every weekend (I get social media can be decieving). She said the reason she was having a difficult time and why she was going out constantly was because people were complaining she wasn’t as fun anymore and wasn’t partying as much?

She said she tried to reach out but couldn’t because I had blocked her number. Which I never did. I changed my number in Feb 22 but still had her on WhatsApp and everything else. So basically there were 7 months where we didn’t speak before I took her off all my social media. I feel like she’s making excuses but am I being unreasonable? How do I go about this?

0 Comments
2024/04/27
17:47 UTC

0

Thongs for preteen-teen

Hi!! I’m a 12 year old (turning 13) girl who wants to buy thongs for the first time. I’m too embarrassed to ask my parents and I feel like they would not be willing to buy me thongs if I asked. I’m just nervous about buying them because I’m scared they have like an age limit or something.. For example I would try to buy thongs in a store and the cashier would say like I’m too young or that she can’t sell me that stuff. Can somebody tell me if it’s completely fine and normal for me to buy thongs? (I live in Finland)

9 Comments
2024/04/27
17:38 UTC

2

I have a hard time talking about SA in the military

As a victim of SA both in and out of the military, SA is a very hard subject for me to talk about. We have monthly/annual trainings to talk about prevention measures and the reporting process for SA. Sometimes during these classes they show us videos or talk about realistic scenarios of SA and it’s very triggering for me. I get angry, anxious, or sometimes I end up on the verge of crying and i have to excuse myself to go to the restroom. The scenarios make me feel like I’m reliving my trauma or they remind me of what one of my soldiers told me about her assault.

I had to give a short class about it today and it was so hard for me to keep my composure. I tried to play it off by trying to get my group to talk more than me.

I know it’s important to talk about these things in the military, but it’s so hard for me.

I didn’t know who else to vent to about this so i just came here.

1 Comment
2024/04/27
17:33 UTC

29

Nurse bf doesn't believe I'm sick

I'm really sick at the moment. I've got a heavy cough (which is very phlegmy and chest-related). I've got a sore throat and am exhausted constantly. I stayed in bed most of Saturday, which is not like me at all as I like to make the most of my days.

Nurse bf who is on his second day of nightshift, came down tonight at 5pm to see me in our sofa bed, struggling to keep my eyes open. He then yelled at me and said I need to get out of bed and accused me of exaggerating my symptoms - which, I'm not. I'm really insulted and don't want to speak to him when I'm feeling so crappy. Any advice?

Edit: He also said "It's always something" when he knows that I separately suffer from a bowel condition which can make me very sick.

Edit 2: He's apologised and he understands that he invalidated my feelings. We will have a proper discussion about how to work better together. He's going through a lot but knows that's no excuse for being a jerk. Thanks for the advice, everyone.

16 Comments
2024/04/27
16:44 UTC

1

Advice please!

I feel like my requests with my partner aren’t too much. I do feel heard and he often cares for me but I just feel so off at times? Idk if I’m the issue or it’s our past underlying issues. A lot of ppl talk ab a “wooing” start to abusive relationships, mine was never like that, I felt he was off from the start. By off I meant he had anger issues & got upset at small things. In the beginning I didn’t really focus on it but it confused me. Stuff like blaming me for him doing not well on something/ taking stress out on me to it progressing about wanting to toss things. It wasn’t ever physical and he always promised to better. We ended up getting married but then He started slightly abusive in the past stuff like grabbing and twisting my wrists or swaying me by holding on to my shoulders. We are tryna work thru everything & he’s been good at communication but I don’t know how to feel about that I said I wanted to fix this and get better bc I’m tired of jus being this way, to which he said a start is to stop comparing social media. Now I don’t feel I compare my relationship to social media by any means bc I felt what I was asking us to work on were pretty basic things and tht I didn’t want over the beyond expectations ever bc I kno social media isn’t real. Yes sometimes I do see others bc i waited for this marriage but what I look at isn’t a “I want him to be the same” or a I want tht relationship but rather a “normal relationships and actually being happy and content DOES exist” am I wrong for wanting to fix issues & is tht considered comparing social media? What are thoughts on what he said !

0 Comments
2024/04/27
13:55 UTC

8

I've had the most unbelievable horror story going with non consent deepfakes, edited content and stalking thanks to atleast one private Facebook group in the UK

Like I just feel totally out of options, you wouldn't believe me if I told you all that's happened from this. I know for a fact my car, phone number and adress have all been doxed. And this content on me has spread so far throughout the UK with no way for me to access it without someone sharing the private group with me. And no one will, Have tried appealing to the people in it, asking my nieghbours who all loudly discuss ir in ear shot and they all just lie to my face, non of my friends or family have ever seen this stuff because I guess it's not their thing, no one shares it with them either.

It's a nightmare. I guess if anyone in the UK has ever seen anything like this please get in touch. Or leave a comment, It's all so insane to me

2 Comments
2024/04/27
13:52 UTC

2

Outfit ideas

So I’ve been invited to an engagement party that’s black tie and suits themed. And I’m not sure what to wear an outfit somebody told me I should find a long sleeve dress. But honestly, I haven’t got a clue. Any tips, ladies?

1 Comment
2024/04/27
12:11 UTC

14

I don't understand this trend these days

The trend goes like this: A guy works freelance and is building his thing. He could be a content creator or a freelance business. And he has a girlfriend who is working full time in some company. The guy talks about how he wants to make his girlfriend leave the job so that they both can work for themselves full-time. This mainly involves the girl working for the guy, although it seems like they're a team. And then they go and travel the world.

I have seen enough people on the internet like this. What is the appeal of this? I am not trying to hate anyone, but I am just genuinely curious. Why are there so many people doing this exact thing?

10 Comments
2024/04/27
11:58 UTC

0

What are your opinions of the world of dating apps when it comes to the Chat Line?

There is this thing that slips under the radar of the singles dating app trope and actually perpetuates hook up culture and its called a chat line. You know 1-855-Call Now. Its not a phone sex line but the premise is the women callers get free time to talk to the male callers and the men get a thirty min free membership to talk to the women callers, then they charge the men to have conversations with women who are sometimes in their area but mostly they are from other cities. So instead of having any chance to meet single people it becomes a place where men instigate a phone sex conversation hoping the women are game. What do you think of this business model as a dating solution for singles?

2 Comments
2024/04/27
11:24 UTC

9

Women who have lived alone for more than 5 years

How is your life like? What are your highs and lows? How do you celebrate and cope? I am a clinically depressed woman with ADHD, and I live alone with two cats since 8 years. I am incapable of love or friendship and my home is my sanctuary. Sometimes I feel like this is not what life is, but in reality it’s the safest and the most peaceful that I can be. I want to know other experiences to maybe help me cope with mine Thanks

7 Comments
2024/04/27
10:48 UTC

31

I feel really bad about what happened tonight):

I feel really sad about what happened tonight and I don’t know what to do it’s my consequence for being stupid

I(21f) met a guy(40m)yesterday on Uber when he took me to school and he was very nice to me asking me about myself and made me feel very comfortable and safe to chat with him. He told me good luck at school. He gave me his Uber card and told me he can take me to places free if I can’t afford an Ubers because I told him I don’t have much money for my school and things. He didn’t make me feel uncomfortable and i really thought he understood me since he was older.

I met him last night to talk and i thought we were going to walk at a park to talk but we stayed in his car.

He touched me last night and I’m upset with it and feel dirty. I have no one to talk to because i am embarrassed and scared.

A lot of you guys are saying i need to know better at my age and that i am not a real account. I am begging please if you have these things to say just don’t talk to me please. I am autistic and it’s really hard for me to understand what peoples intentions are. Please don’t bully me. I hope you all have a great day.

36 Comments
2024/04/27
10:16 UTC

1

need a wingwoman

so ive had this crush on a guy for quite a bit now but i dont want to make any moves until i know for sure he’s not already in a relationship, & since im way to shy to go ask him myself i was wondering if a kind woman lol, would be willing to be my wingwoman and just slide into his instagram or tiktok dms and just simply ask if he has a gf or not. then come back to me with the answer. thanks in advance this is so embarrassing 💀

0 Comments
2024/04/27
08:18 UTC

0

Hello, I need help down there...

Hello, I am 18 years old and just started to take care of myself. I lived a boyish life and that's all that there is...other than that, I just noticed that my labia majora is wrinkly, probably because of wearing tight clothes before since I was sporty...

Is there anyway that I fan fix this without surgery?

Please I need help sisters 🥺

2 Comments
2024/04/27
08:03 UTC

11

Bad experience with a man

I’m 19f am in college currently and during one of my classes I met a dude. I thought he was smart and kinda nerdy idk. I wasn’t attracted to him in a romantic way I just wanted a friend. We ended up exchanging numbers and I guess it’s my fault for not making my intentions clear. We started chatting and getting to know each other and I was enjoying our conversations until he starts making suggestive comments and trying to flirt. Idk I was uncomfortable even though he kept saying that if I was uncomfortable I could tell him.

He asks if I would like to get together and get lunch and my naive self thought it was just as friends. During that outing he asks me to be his girlfriend. I told him I’d think about it. A few days later I decided to try to discuss boundaries. I’ve never been in a relationship before and I wanted to take it slow. I’m really nervous about intimacy. I don’t really want to be kissed until I could trust him more and hugs were ok but I wanted to initiate.

We go on another outing and I decided to give a relationship a try. When we met up he immediately neglected the fact that I don’t want to be kissed and hugged and he tried to do it anyway Thus begins an entire 2 hours of him sneaking up on me and trying to be romantic and trying to kiss me. It gets to the point that I’m scared to turn my back to him. I told him that I didn’t want to date him. I blocked him a few days later.

I can’t get this experience out of my head it’s been 2 months now I’m still scared of him. I’m genuinely scared of him. I don’t know what’s happening I didn’t want to date him I just wanted a friend. If you made it this far would you spend a second and tell me if I did something wrong or advice as to why I’m feeling like this. This is a bit of a rant but I don’t know what totally do.

5 Comments
2024/04/27
06:22 UTC

4

diagnosed with ascus at first pap

hey guys, currently sobbing my eyes out. i’m 21 years old, and had my first pap last month. it came back as ascus and ever since i’ve been panicking. yes, i’ve had a lot of sexual partners but i also had BV at the time of the pap smear. however i’ve fully convinced myself i’m going to develop cancer and that i’m going to die. google isn’t helping. i have nobody to talk to about this. my gyno didn’t test me for HPV at all, so i have no information on this. i need a hug so bad i am dealing with so much health wise and i’m doing it all alone.

2 Comments
2024/04/27
05:44 UTC

5

tips on embracing sexuality

I (23F)struggle with self confidence in the bedroom and am looking for any tips/strategies to help me work on gaining confidence in my sexuality

My bf of 6 years has always been very supportive and loving, but i know he wishes I could open up more and feel comfortable expressing my sexuality (initiating, moaning/being vocal, dirty talk, facetime sex, masterbating, etc)

i’ve always had body issues and a history of eating disorders and body dysmorphia, so feeling confident in my body has always been an issue but has gotten much better over the years after years of treatment. As well as classic catholic guilt and internalized shame surrounding expressing my sexuality

Anyways, long story short looking for any tips or suggestions from women who have had similar experiences 🫶🏼🫶🏼

1 Comment
2024/04/27
05:40 UTC

6

My body isn’t allowing me to gain weight as it should

I’m not understanding what the hell is my body problem. I’m still not gaining weight as I should. Everybody can eat something and gain weight normally, while for me when I eat it does nothing. I lose weight too fast and it’s killing me. My old peers from middle school who used to be tiny like me have now changed. They look more mature, more like their age.

I’m 18F, skinny and short. I look like a 13yr girl. This is true because my body never changed since I was in 7th grade. I don’t like it because I want to be seen as a grown woman, not a little girl. I come in contact with so many girls who are younger than me but look way older than me. It has nothing to do with their outfits or makeup but their body. Just recently my ex-best friend's younger sister who I used to see as my little sister, is now grown up.

She is still young, I think she’s in 8th or 9th grade but her body looks way more mature than mine and I’m upset because she is the girl who wouldn’t eat. She was very picky with her food. She was bony like me and I used to see myself in her. Now it’s been 2-3 years since I saw her and I checked up on her on Instagram and she gained weight. WHAT THE FUCK! 😞 I eat more than her, how come I’m not gaining weight?

I don’t have a medical condition. I checked last year in March with my doctor and she said I’m ok. I even saw my test lab report. But I must admit I do have food fatigue ( if you don’t know what it is search it up ) so I do struggle with an eating disorder but even when I try my hardest my body isn’t doing what it needs to.

And besides the fact I want to look my age. I want to be able to wear clothes without looking sick and weird. I have to cover up to not show my bones, which is limiting me from enjoying myself and my interests. I hate my body, I look pubescent.

5 Comments
2024/04/27
04:54 UTC

2

Advice

I feel lost and sad but don’t know if I’m in the wrong. When me and my partner got married it seemed he wasn’t happy to start anything with me. I know it’s normal to miss family and home but it was like the point to where he dreaded us getting our first place together, us starting our lives together us doing our first thing together. Honestly it made me often feel left out and kind of lonely on our milestones bc in my heart it always felt he didn’t really see it as our “journey” that along with other stuff took a toll on the way I felt ab us, since it was often over multiple stuff. Am I irrational? Is it normal to dread these things

0 Comments
2024/04/27
03:22 UTC

2

Advice

I want kids but for some reason I feel I can’t have kids with my partner is tht my body signaling for something being off or am I just overthinking

1 Comment
2024/04/27
03:11 UTC

0

Why are women so jealous?

Are females innately built to be jealous by nature?

I've noticed a pattern in my life (I'm 22f) where women much older than me get extremely jealous by my accomplishments or the way I maintain my appearance and look after myself. I've also had friends who feel uncomfortable when l'm around their spouses.

Recently a dear friend from my friendship group announced her engagement, I noticed the response of my other friend, who didn't react as ecstatically and responded to the news in an abrasive manner. I never expected this behaviour from her and this made me ponder, do women possess the natural tendencies to be jealous and possessive?

21 Comments
2024/04/27
03:11 UTC

0

Thick Af

Hey! 20f Ive been trying to get thick like trying to grow my ass and make my boobs more perky. Im happy with how I look right now but i just wanted to see what my body's limits are, does anyone know what foods target those areas?

2 Comments
2024/04/27
03:04 UTC

2

Does your guy shave down there?

Does your guy do it and do you like ? I prefer hair because all I see is a naked mole rat (I know, I know)

1 Comment
2024/04/27
03:00 UTC

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