How am I, as a woman, supposed to plan out my career seeing as I want to have kids around 30.

For reference, I am currently 17 and going to be studying at uni until I'm 23 (engineering and business). I then want to eventually work a managerial position at Boston Dynamics which will first require around 5 years of other managerial positions in similar fields. That means I'll have to be AT LEAST 27. And then what? I work there for like three years before having to drastically change my work-life balance for raising children? (I know theres maternal leave and stuff but I also know women don't progress the same in their jobs after kids) It seems like I'll never be able to reach a high position at a company. I may be overthinking it - I don't know much about the corporate world seeing as I'm only 17 but still. I also want to move to a safer country for the safety of my kids (like Australia) when they're young. So, it doesn't feel feasible to maintain or even achieve a good, high up position in my life. I would probably go back to work after my kids reach school age but does a company even let you have that much time off? Especially if I'm in a high up position at this time. Would I just lose my position and all that hard work went to nothing?

Is this pessimistic? Or is this just what life is? I'd love to hear from women and mothers in my situation:) and to get a little advice.

Sorry for the longish post

I met a boy in tinder passport mode. He’s a French guy living in Geneva while I’m in the US. I’m 26, he’s 27. We follow each other and talk in instagram. We’ve sexted and we have had conversations since September. I trust this isn’t some weird old guy, it’s evident.

My cousin lives in Geneva and I figure why not kill 2 birds with one stone. On my 2nd to last day just spend the night with him?

I (29F) work a 10 hour overnight shift in a hospital and I park in a garage.

This particular night, I had to take a bunch of baby stuff to my mom the next morning when I got off, so my car was jam packed with everything in black plastic bags.

When I got off work the next morning I hopped in my car and immediately locked my doors, as is my habit. Upon backing out I saw that my right mirror was folded in (they’re manual). Whatever, someone probably just hit it with their bag or something. I fixed it. I looked to my left and THAT one was folded in as well. I fixed that one then pulled off feeling uneasy. Like was someone’s hoping I’d stay outside my car fixing my mirrors?

Has this ever happened to anyone else??? Was I almost a victim of a crime? If I was, thank goodness for a long ass shift because I guess whoever it was got tired of waiting.

I hope this is the appropriate sub for this question. I know motherhood is not always synonymous with womanhood, but r/motherhood is not nearly as active.

I caught up with an old friend today. Her and the dad to her kid split, and the kid is just under a year. We haven’t connected in years, so I’m not sure what her current interests are anymore. She would probably appreciate something self care related (face mask, Sephora card, etc). But would it be more helpful if I got her something for the baby? If so, what? I don’t know. Those who relate, what would speak to you?

 To the ladies reading this, you'll understand completely. To the men, please remain open-minded. Yes, this is long but WORTH IT AT THE END.

 Ok, so obviously sexism and just discrimination sucks. One way or another, we can all agree on that, right? I know that many men come on this subreddit in search of advice, just out of curiosity, and other reasons. So to the men reading this, I'd like genuine input, KIND input that can be discussed with in the comments for ALL genders.

 Let's go over the (chronological) facts:

1. For centuries the cis-male gender has been given psychologically unhealthy positions in political power, linguistics (just as one example, not needing to immediately know a man's marital status as it doesn't define his worth but otherwise could be said for women like Mr. vs Miss., Mrs., Ms.), domestic power, social power, etc.

2. Women have been fighting for their right to the things the men have had to level the playing field since the mid-20th century.

3. As said desired rights started to become realities, the past stereotypes of women vs men are still set in parts of the world. In America, the majority of them remain in the political term of the "right wing".

4. We have backtracked history and it's people's efforts recently as more and more viral character-like personalities are given names such as "Pick Me Girls", "Gym Bros", "Karens,""Preppy Girls", etc. Scroll on TikTok and you'll find these, but the problem is that if just one of the tiniest qualities of a random person in our everyday lives aligns with one of the above, we judge them completely off of that stereotype. Women's healthcare is reversing back to when we had no choices (ask yourself, is men's?)

5. Whether the topic is age, race, gender, religion, sexuality, disabilities, or climate change, people seem to just hate.

   Point:

We NEED to talk things out. Go back to kindergarten where politics actually worked when you think about it! Fights were solved with kindness, society as a whole dreams of a perfect world bmyet does nothing to create it. Here comes step one. We only judge, while what we must do is SOLVE. Find solutions, open your minds, empathize, think about past and futures, show how we have evolved.

So please comments, (quoting "Ted Lasso" and waiting for season 4 which you should totally watch) be curious, not judgemental. Thank you.

 To the ladies reading this, you'll understand completely. To the men, please remain open-minded. Yes, this is long but WORTH IT AT THE END.

 Ok, so obviously sexism and just discrimination sucks. One way or another, we can all agree on that, right? I know that many men come on this subreddit in search of advice, just out of curiosity, and other reasons. So to the men reading this, I'd like genuine input, KIND input that can be discussed with in the comments for ALL genders.

 Let's go over the (chronological) facts:

1. For centuries the cis-male gender has been given psychologically unhealthy positions in political power, linguistics (just as one example, not needing to immediately know a man's marital status as it doesn't define his worth but otherwise could be said for women like Mr. vs Miss., Mrs., Ms.), domestic power, social power, etc.

2. Women have been fighting for their right to the things the men have had to level the playing field since the mid-20th century.

3. As said desired rights started to become realities, the past stereotypes of women vs men are still set in parts of the world. In America, the majority of them remain in the political term of the "right wing".

4. We have backtracked history and it's people's efforts recently as more and more viral character-like personalities are given names such as "Pick Me Girls", "Gym Bros", "Karens,""Preppy Girls", etc. Scroll on TikTok and you'll find these, but the problem is that if just one of the tiniest qualities of a random person in our everyday lives aligns with one of the above, we judge them completely off of that stereotype. Women's healthcare is reversing back to when we had no choices (ask yourself, is men's?)

5. Whether the topic is age, race, gender, religion, sexuality, disabilities, or climate change, people seem to just hate.

   Point:

We NEED to talk things out. Go back to kindergarten where politics actually worked when you think about it! Fights were solved with kindness, society as a whole dreams of a perfect world bmyet does nothing to create it. Here comes step one. We only judge, while what we must do is SOLVE. Find solutions, open your minds, empathize, think about past and futures, show how we have evolved.

So please comments, (quoting "Ted Lasso" and waiting for season 4 which you should totally watch) be curious, not judgemental. Thank you.

Background I turn 27 pretty soon and I’m starting to feel the urge to date. However, I don’t want kids, I don’t want to get married right now, or even settle down at the moment. I’m comfortable with my life the way it is, and I know if I do date and the guy wants to get serious I’ll run the opposite way. Oh and another thing, sex is not important at all to me, it’s actually extremely painful for me. I think about dating so much more than I ever have, I’m so anxious that the guys I’m after will be taken when I’m ready, it just sucks. I haven’t dated since I was 19/20 and I feel I need to be at a different place in life to seek a relationship but at the same time I want it more than anything. At the same time I hate men and want nothing to do with them.

I just am at a loss. I got my IUD roughly a month ago and it’s been hell. Almost daily cramping and spotting and now my face is breaking out. I spent majority of my life (25) fighting awful acne, finally the last 2-3 years has been peace and now this! I just feel conned. My Dr told me it would be a few days of cramping, barely a touch of spotting, and nothing about hormonal side effects like f-ing acne. Will my body regulate and it will go away? Should I just schedule to get the thing removed? I just don’t want another kid, but hating my face in the mirror and being in pain nearly every day is just so unfair.

for context i am 21. all my life i never leaned to more masculine or feminine things, like clothes, interests, mannerisms etc. welp now im super ready to tap into my “girly” side i guess you could say. but im not sure where to start. with my style, and overall tapping into my femininity. i seriously hope i don’t sound silly as hell. i was a latchkey kid pretty much so me being an actual girl was at the back of my mind. what are some good clothing companies or tools that can help me? thanks !

sorry for any typos im too lazy to proofread this, im looking for advice from a woman of course D:

i (17F) really want to lose my virginity, but i really don’t. i have intense abandonment issues and im aware that whoever i do it with will likely live my life at some point, and i don’t know how im supposed to be okay with giving my virginity to someone and then taking it and running with it. i was in a situationship for about a year and i was so made up in my mind that id give my virginity to this guy once we started dated, ghosted me in a sense although i was the one who ended up blocking him, either way all of that ended. it really just got me thinking about a lot of shit. i don’t usually like people, like it’s very rare i crush on someone and find someone im comparable with, which is why ive yet to have a real boyfriend although im seventeen. i just don’t know how to keep trying with relationships, or like i said, even lose my virginity, when everyone just ends up leaving. sometimes i feel unlovable but that’s just life. nobody stays forever in my experience. maybe my 3 year long relationship with a female (avoidant style) is what really fucked me up with my abandonment issues but im just so used to people dipping over the tiniest thing, but my hormones are raging and god i wanna fuck!! i know ill feel extremely guilty and sad about it for months, maybe even a year, after letting someone spread my legs then they leave, ahhh how do people do this?? i wish i have an older lady to talk with this about.

I usually have very regular periods. Religiously down to the day, spot on. My periods usually will start on the heavier side and lighten up as time goes. They are consistently 5 days long and I have a 28 day cycle.

This time around— my period was SUPER heavy for the first 2 days, then very light by night 2. Stayed light for day 3 and was nearly GONE by day 4…ended about a day and a half earlier than usual.

Coincidentally, I also have been overly tired, confused?, having headaches and mid-lower back pain.. not sure if any of this is related or not.

I’ve had no changes in medications, diet or exercise, etc.

Hi, I have been suffering from chronic pelvic pain and irregular bleeding. I have an isthmocele and historically get light vaginal bleeding in between periods or after strenuous exercise.

I recently had a bought of being on my period or just extreme vaginal bleeding for 3 weeks and still am spotting. At this point if the bleeding and pain is related to the isthmocele i want to get it repaired (vs endometriosis which is TBD)

Has anyone seen an improvement in bleeding / symptoms??

Long story short, I’m 19F and I really don’t get how girls date guys they consider attractive.

I don’t even glance to them, I’m too intimidated by people I actually find attractive. All the people I’ve dated I’ve felt moderately attracted to, but I’m never fully attracted to them. The people I find attractive genuinely make me feel terrified. I see girls my age date with hot people and I’m dumbfounded.

I was a ugly growing up, nobody really actively mentioned feeling attracted towards me asides from bullies that admitted to harassing me because they didn’t know how to accept the fact they liked someone that was extremely weird. I’ve been pressured by them to date them. My first partners were online and way older than me (23 while I was 11 and so on), so I feel like I lacked the real life experience of getting hit on, getting on with my crushes and so on because I was too busy being groomed by people and getting love notes from girls begging me to date them because they had finally made peace with their sexualities and liking me.

I just don’t get it. I don’t know how to flirt, how to approach or be approached. I’ve had one serious partner before, and even that happened because I was close friends with them for months without knowing how to actually flirt with them. I’m hit on a lot now but it’s still weird to me because it’s always guys that I meet through dating apps, never the “natural” way. I’ve never gone to a formal date. I’ve never been asked out. I mean it when I say I avoid men I deem attractive, I go from extroverted to stoic whenever they talk to me.

How do you guys know how to approach people, be approached and so on? Does anyone have any tips? I’m tired of being like this.

I was talking to my boyfriend the other night about how I can’t stand the sight of blood because it makes me pass out. And he said why when I deal with blood once a month when having my period. Is there some sort of science behind that? As to why I’m bothered by one but not the other? I feel like this is not an uncommon experience for women. But the question does make me wonder. I told him it was because a period isn’t an injury where as you typically see regular blood during an injury.

So I 22F have had bad periods as long as I could remember. They would get to the point that I would get very dizzy, vommit, and almost pass out from the pain. My mom never took me seriously (it's worth noting that I'm african American and she fits the strong black woman stereotype) and I was basically expected to take a Tylenol and magically be ok in an hour. The pain I got from my cycles were genuinely traumatizing and I would get panic attacks before they would come each month. As soon as I turned 18 I got on birth control to stop them completely.

When I went to my primary doctor earlier this year I talked to her about how painful my periods were and she basically told me that they can be pretty bad and didn't address it further. I wasn't upset because at the moment my birth control completely stopped me periods and I was perfectly fine with it. I did get a pap smear and that came back normal at least.

Starting last month I got minor abdominal and pelvic discomfort. I decided to go straight to am obgyn because I knew my primary doctor would refer me anyway. The place I went to had good reviews so I felt at ease. A nurse practitioner took swabs and and abdominal ultrasound. When I spoke to the doctor she told me that they didn't find anything abnormal (apart from some small fibroids) and that she doesn't want to do more.

She then asked me about my bc and I told her that I'm on Junel fe and I skip the placebo pills to completely stop my period due to extreme pain in the past. She told me that I needed to have a period at some point or I'm at a higher risk of cancer.

I reiterated that I have extremely painful periods to the point of fainting. She acknowledged that but still told me that I needed a period and offered no alternatives. I inquired about surgical options and she shut that down as well.

I've just come to the realization that almost every woman I've talked to didn't/ doesn't take my pain seriously. I don't want a period and I don't want my uterus (in not having kids anyway).

Since that appointment I've started bleeding and have been for 2.5 weeks. I don't think it's normal because I've consistently been taking my bc for over a year every evening at 9pm. When I first started I had breakthrough bleeding (which I know is normal) but after that my bleeding completely stopped until now. I'm afraid to go to the doctor again because I feel like I'm still not going to be taken seriously.

I don’t want to put my face on here for obvious reasons, but yeah. So I’ve had finger coils for a about a month now, and I have been called a boy AT LEAST 15 times. I look so much like my brother, but i don’t want to. His friends think that I’m his older brother. Even the school admin, WHO KNOWS ME, thought I was a boy. My Dad won’t let me wear makeup, but i think I could get him to let me wear Mascara or eyeliner. It’s also prob bc I wear baggy clothes, but my parents wont let me wear anything like crop tops or skinny jeans either. If you have any advice, I would really appreciate it!

I got a small bullet vibrator a 4 months ago and so far freaking good, I was almost too sensitive to use it. But since then, I have been trying to masturbate normally now, just using my hand, and I realized I lost some sensitivity on my clit, I thoughht that maybe it would return if i didnt use it for a while, so I just used hands for a month or two and still, not as senstive as before, I'm low-key desperate.

Did that happened to anyone? Does it come back to normal?

Are other toys better?

THE MENS RIGHTS SUBREDDIT HELLOOOOO WHATTTT THE UNAWARENESS AND IGNORANCE AND APATHY IS INSANEE💀💀💀💀💀💀 i can't i cannot

the whole thing is antifeminist and blames feminism for the gender war make it make sense💀🧍🏽‍♀️

I've been wanting to get raped since i was 10 (im 14 currently), it could have started when i was younger but i have no memory of it. It started when i was about 8, it was summer so me and my cousin were sleeping in a tent in our grandmas yard. My cousin then started to show me porn, say that having sex with your cousin was normal. During that summer i also remember how me and my cousin did different sex positions with each other (basically dry humbing each other) since we didnt actually know what sex was. We never got caught and no one in our family knows about.

Now, since puperty has started and i have gotten to watching porn i feel like this has became too much. I think about rape in school, when im at home or when im just being with my family. I also get turned on only with rape porn, i have tried to watch ''normal'' porn but i just cant. I also cannot image myself in a normal relationship with anyone, i wanna be abused, raped by an older person. I feel like i cannot sleep without thinking about sex/being raped. I would also like to say that i have never wanted to be the raper, just the one being raped. I feel too ashamed to talk about this with anyone i know in real life, but i have to know, did i just get into porn too early, am i a porn addict or just mentally ill

hi! i usually will go multiple rounds with my boyfriend and it is amazing except for the soreness on the outside of my vagina. i would prefer not to cut back how often we get physical. does anyone have any lube recommendations for this?

i want a good one that does not cause yeast infections as i am a little sensitive to it. online reviews seem mixed and kind of scare me.

As the title suggests, I (23F) am dating this incredibly skinny guy (24M) who is just amazing. We met through colleagues, have similar interests and future plans, similar senses of humour, outlooks on life etc. He really is a breath of fresh air after a 2 year break from dating, and I really really like him.

I wouldn’t say I have a physical type, as I do find that whole notion a little weird (finding certain things attractive is not an issue ofc bc that’s natural, but I mean having a ‘type’ in the way some people use to where all their exes look pretty much the same and physical appearance trumps personality yanno, it’s that I really don’t like). I definitely tend to notice immediate things like eyes and smile, but it’s mostly how they treat people and how quickly we can slip into comfortable conversation that does it for me. That said, everyone I’ve been with has either been bigger than me or had some kind of muscle/beef. I’m a mid to plus size woman who has a history of insecurities that still crop up from time to time, and I do sometimes struggle to be intimate or even just physically touch people I’m interested in if there is a big difference in our sizes.

I feel like a lot of women I’ve spoken to really don’t like it when guys are much skinnier than them and, while I can see why, I ultimately thought it was a little shallow. That was until I started seeing this guy, who’s the kind of skinny where XS skinny jeans sag on him and he looks very bony even under big jumpers. I really like everything about him and do find him very physically attractive as he is just so handsome and very tall and has the loveliest smile. But now we’ve been seeing eachother for a month or so I’m starting to think about what the sec would be like and, while I like what I’m thinking lol, I just can’t get our size difference out of my head. I’ve come a long way from the liquid diets and the instant urge to lose 20lbs when I meet someone skinnier than me, but the slight discomfort is still there.

What I’m trying to say is that I just wondered if anyone could relate. If there are any curvier women who fell for guys much skinnier than them, what helped you overcome the acute awareness of your size difference? How did you talk to your partner about this? Or equally I’d be interested to hear from any women who see this as a dealbreaker or something they just couldn’t get over. To make it so clear, I am not going to be breaking up with him any time soon for that reason, and I’m sure with time this awareness will just become normal. We’re a great match and I’m aware it is 100% my old insecurities threatening to come up and ruin a good thing. But, any advice or perspective would be appreciated :) thanks in advance! Xx

Going to rant… I legit argue with him everyday he always starts the fucking arguments. With his pro MAGA Trump Republican always bring up politics randomly and saying a bunch of BS then we also argue because he tries to control all of us in the house especially my brother and I (we are adults) which is fucking annoying like fuck off. My brother is in community college but I’m either moving away for university or living with my friend for a little while because I’m so tired of the bs. Everyday he’s starting something and yes I talk back and defend myself because I’m sick of it!!!!! Everyday there is something my dad tries to get mad about and makes it all of our problems. He is so irritating I hate my dad sometimes

I think this is a question lol. I grew up with a sister and mostly girl cousins and I was very religious so they separated us a lot in youth group. So now I'm dating this guy and he's doing all these guy things and I'm just kinda at a loss for how to react lol. He greets me by fake fighting me (it's play fighting, no physical contact), or weird yelling, or wanting to go find rocks while we're hiking, or randomly getting competitive over non-competition things. Positive things that are "boys will be boys".

He's so cute and I can see he's so happy but I'm just standing there bc I genuinely have no idea how to react to any of that. Girls who had socialization with boys via brothers or cousins or otherwise, has it affected relationships?

Last night my husband and I went out for dinner and had a huge meal. Today I woke up and decided since I ate so much last night I just wouldn’t eat today to make up for it. I guess in my mind this helps me balance things for my health. Does anyone else do this or am I weird?

A very helpful thought I recently had and that I want to share with you as it might alleviate some of y'all's pain.

If you rented a studio apartment (1bedroom) for 9 years. And you invested time, money, and effort into making living in that studio more and more enjoyable. And you did enjoy it: you had so many experiences in it, maybe it was even your first time living on your own or renting a space in a new city/country. It was awesome!

But one day you wake up and the place feels too crowded for you as you started a new job and feel the need to have a home office or you took on content creation and you desire a bigger kitchen or maybe the landlord is selling and needs you to move.

How would you react? Why don't you perceive relationships the same way?

If the person is not willing to grow with you or simply is no longer willing to meet your needs try to remember this appartement analogy. Rather than try to stick where your soul no longer belongs, and find a shelter (yourself/family/friends) until you find another appartement that fulfills your needs.

What is that life changing cosmetic surgery you got done which greatly benefited you and how?

Me and my bf have been together for over a year and are totally in love. Just yesterday I found out he regularly smokes weed. I personally have zero intrestnin smoking / vaping in general. So to find this out wasna shock especially when he's told me a few times that he uses nothing. I just feel shattered because it feels like he's hidden this for me and didn't have intentions of being honest with me about it. He's Said he also smokes weed with his friends and cousins regularly. The thing is if I knew he smoked of nay kind in the start may not of even got into a relationship as I said I have no intrest in smoking or being around people who do. So to be over a year in and madly in love makes it tough cause how can I leave when we're so in love. But at the same time I don't want to be around smoking if any kind and now feels I need to compromise that. Not to mention if I end up going to get together with his mates and cousins they'll all jsut be smoking weed. My main issue is definitely that he hid it and has even lied about it. I've smelt smoke on him and in his room belongings multiple times and he's just said his flatmates smoke so that's or it or oh the smell is because I have a desk that came from a smokers I asked him about this again yesterday and he said that his room infact smelt like it because he'd split ash on his bed and desk. I just can't really get past the fact he hasn't been honest with . Is it wrong in me thinking he should of told me about smoking ? When I'm his gf and have been for quite sometime arnt couples supposed to be open with each other ? Any advice or if anyone has been in a similar situation would be helpfull

Do you assume the fetal position and protect your head and hope it’s over soon?