I’m glad my friends kids are so great. I was looking forward to watching football w a few buddies, I knew his wife and their kids would be around for part of it. Which is fine. But the last 5 times I’ve hung out with her I am always bombarded with life updates and kids stories, literally all she talks about are her kids. And I just don’t fucking care. I haven’t told my friend this, or his wife this. But it’s so bad that I have left social functions the last 3 times early, today I was kinda excited about seeing my friends but as soon as she sat down and started talking I knew it was coming. And sure enough we were all subjected to an entire life biography about her last 5 years, her kids, more about her kids, here is a picture I just got from my kid. I politely grabbed my jacket and made my exit.

That makes me selfish, or just like intolerant? I knew it would be like this and it sucks that my friend has changed quite a bit, and this is what it’s like hanging out now, but that’s fine. I just don’t get how people talk about their kids and, in my opinion, are just way way way too invested in everything their kids do on like a minute by minute basis. It’s weird to me. My parents were never like this thank god it’s this woman’s life every minute of every day on purpose, but somehow I’m always kind of feeling like the black sheep friend w/ no kids who isn’t like up to par if that makes sense? Just can’t fathom talking about myself or my offspring for hours on end and nothing else.

Not a hardcore rant but...

I had a conversation with someone about not wanting kids, and he was really REALLY invested in convincing me to have kids (I'm 18, btw. Still in High school). He went on about biological drive and "the purpose of life." Well. He changed his tune when I mentioned my autism diagnosis 😭🙏

Apparently that's the key to getting people off my ass about having kids.

Today reminded me again why I am proudly child free and will NEVER have kids. My father in law and I were returning to my apartment from Walmart (i dont drive, he gave me a ride) We pull into the parking lot, and this huge black truck is blocking the road. We only have one spot we can park, so we turn into it because we can't get around this black truck. No one was in it, it was just parked there in the middle of the road.

So we pull in, weren't there for more than 4 minutes max just to get my groceries in. Well this red headed girl walks out of one of my neighbor's apartments, glares at me and goes "You can't park there!" With this snotty tone. She then goes off about how its reserved for her mother. I don't like her attitude at all, so I have a tone back but I did try and explain to her we would only be there for five minutes.

The little bitch then FLIPS ME OFF and climbs into guess where? The god damn truck blocking the way. Apparently its her truck. She drives away, I get my groceries in, my father in law leaves, and I'm pissed. I decided to go right back out there and wait for this mother to arrive.

She arrives maybe 5 minutes later, the kid's with her now, someone else is driving the black truck now. I'm pretty riled so I confront the mother, I told her straight up her kid's a monster. The mother goes "I know she's a brat" and to her credit she did yell at the kid. I know the kid is 16 because the mother said it.

I explained to the mother why we were in her spot, because her kid was blocking the road and the mother assured me she'd be 'talking' to her kid tonight (kid took off in the black truck during the confrontation)

The mother also assured me the kid was moving out soon (we have been seeing furniture being taken out of that apartment the last week so we know thats true) But what annoyed me is the mother did try to use the bullshit excuse "My kid's been through some shit" WE ALL HAVE.

I was abused by my mother, but I wasn't flipping neighbors off when I was her age. Glad they're moving out soon, but holy shit I cannot believe how bold these kids are!

I learned about episiotomies today and that some women have to deal with them during childbirth shudders

An episiotomy is a surgical procedure where they make a cut between your vagina and anus to make more room for the baby to come out.

I’m sure there are plenty of other horrifying things about childbirth but this is what I learned today.

Ive had someone say to me how odd it is that im so “nurturing” and have some kind of “maternal instincts” though I dont want kids. Im confident this person never believed I didnt want kids and always blames in on my past and that its my choice to not work on my issues with it. — Its pretty simple- I care about people children, adults, animals so on. I have an innate need to protect others - but i have no desire to have children of my own. Kids are kids - Im indifferent to them. Ive taken care of many and my pwn siblings I know many of the hardships that come with that - it isnt worth it to me. I rather have a dog but to be fully honest i prefer cats way more to dogs. I dont see the point in having children for me personally and rather help and provide for people who currently live in this world and are suffering.

I hate, how not wanting kids makes people see you as broken. I also hate just because I dont hate kids and like to take care of people others assume that no i must want kids. As a kid I said id never have kids unless I adopted. I dont want to adopt - point is thats not gonna change.

You guys ever have a breakdown over your period? I’ve been dealing with awful periods/irregular periods since I started getting them when I was in 4th grade. I would love nothing better than to get my stupid fucking uterus removed. I am so tired. I am so done. I am diagnosed PCOS and have tried birth control, and got denied for the shot and the implant. So I went and got an IUD since I hate the thought of pregnancy and birth control pills don’t do shit, and low n behold I’m going on week three of bleeding!! Yay!! My anxiety surrounding my period is killing me. I constantly think about how I bled for 3 months straight and became anemic from it, when I was 14, cause of this shitty uterus. But who’s gonna listen to a 20 year old? Probably no one, or those who will aren’t taking patients. I checked the list and I saw only one doctor who might do it for me, but I don’t even know how to go to her. I am so frazzled and overwhelmed and I just want my uterus out of me. I can’t keep doing this for another 20 years man.

So as of week and a half ago, I have a niece via my sister(3 years younger than me). Some background, she's likely bipolar or has BPD. Has had several suicide attempts and lots of outbursts over the years. One time the cops showed up 4 times within one summer(the fire department and ambulance came during one time when she tried to OD). We had a pretty dysfunctional family growing up and she and my mom often don't get along. Last year she got married to a guy she either knew in high school and/or online for a couple years. She works at Walmart while he works as an airport baggage handler. She had moved down to South Carolina, but came back to California due to losing her apartment(something about pests infestation or something else) and couldn't move into her in laws crowded and messy house. Oh, and she's a borderline Christian fundamentalist(flat earther, anti-LGBT) and is a fucking anti-vaxxer(same as her inlaws, despite the fact our father died from COVID over 3 years ago(who also didn't get the FREE vaccine either). Also a year ago she had screenshots of her husband confessing he cheated on her on her social media(now deleted), saying she was gonna divorce him but they are still together.

She and the baby are still here for two more weeks(husband went back to SC after the birth for work) but my sister ended up back in the hospital. She said she was ''seeing spots'' so me(an EMT) and our mother(a nurse) checked her vitals with the med kit I keep in the house and her BP was super high(180/110) , so my mom drove her to ER and she's gonna be in the hospital for a couple days(postpartum pre-eclampsia). I'm helping my mom out voluntarily with the baby(our grandma isn't one to do much around the house), as I do love her and like kids but am STRICTLY childfree. My sister might have vaped and/or smoked wee during my pregnancy, as my niece was briefly in the NICU when she was born due to some lung issues. As you can imagine I already have gotten bingoes about my niece ''needs cousins to play with''(there's this thing called playdates and preschool).

Not to say I'm perfect. I have my own mental health struggles among other things but also realize(besides lack of desire) that's all the more reason to not try being a parent. If something were to happen to my sister and/or BIL I don't want custody, and since they live across the country I don't think being the impromptu babysitter should be too much of an issue(moving out soon too). That said, to anyone else who's an aunt/uncle, any tips or things to be aware of?

Hey guys! I’m actually a bit dumb founded the last couple of days. Met a really great guy who also doesn’t want kids. We have been having so much fun and I can actually see things going somewhere. I woke up one morning and he said “I need your ovulation schedule so I can make sure you really are serious.” I was like dude I promise I am, but I can show it to you and we can discuss about it later. He then said “are you truly sure.” I said I promise if I got pregnant I would do the abortion pill, I’ve done it before. He said….”I have no issue using a hanger.” And he started laughing. As a childfree lady, I am devastated another childfree person spoke to me like this. He said he was joking and apologized ten times, am I being dramatic? Am I suppose to be taking these kind of jokes and accepting it due to childfree? Thanks guys. I’ve been crying every single day and having a bad attitude due to people not understanding that even though it’s my choice to have an abortion, it’s still hard on mentality and physically.

EDIT: I told the 44 year old man woman track their period and ovulations through a app and that it was helpful for my PMDD symptoms. Yes, men don’t know about these apps to begin with. This was a week prior to being woken up. Should also add he asked to print it out and tape it on the wall so we can refer back to it. MY BAD if I misinformed everyone. I don’t think a woman should hid they use an app to track periods.

i (23f) recently started working at a book store.

we have a massive kids section filled with books and toys, and i get a lot of customers with kids. that part doesn’t bother me.

what bothers me is the comments from some of my parent customers. yesterday i had a customer ask me for toddler/baby book recommendations. i was honest and told her that i didn’t know, because i don’t have kids, but i can grab one of my coworkers that has kids. she agreed, but said i should listen in on the conversation, so i can “know what to get” when i have kids.

not if. when.

i brushed it off. i didn’t join them because i had to stay on register. the lady was happy with her books so at least there’s that.

i get a few comments like this since i started working here. “this is a good book for when you start having little ones!” “little kids love this kind of book!” “this is chew proof!”

but the most DIABOLICAL one i’ve received was, “the best gift you can give your mom is a grandbaby!”

this wasn’t entirely unprompted, but was still crazy. the customer asked me if i had done my christmas shopping yet and i said no, and this was her response.

i’m just so tired. these kind of comments are WILDLY inappropriate. i have a coworker that is very vocal about her infertility (literally one of the first things she talked to me about) and she wants kids so badly, i know these comments would just tear her up. i understand that baby people are happy being baby people and wanna talk about how happy they are, but you never know what the stranger you’re talking to is going through.

20f,

I know I am pretty young but I’ve been super sure since the age of 10, that I will not be a good parent and I know it’s not my role on this earth, and that’s perfectly fine.

My uncles wife is pregnant and due in January, near the end of January anyways. She is having a baby girl, and although it’s nice to think I’m getting a new cousin, I can’t help but think practically….this current state of the economy we are in is very scary. Global warming and climate change is a real and serious thing, not to mention the change with society and how women are often viewed, it can be terrifying and to think a poor innocent girl is gonna be thrown into it, it makes me a little upset.

I would never say anything to their face about this of course, they are allowed to have children and what not- but I just think it’s somewhat selfish to plan a baby during such a crisis in the world. Our family isn’t rich at all, we struggle a lot, my uncle works 4 jobs and they barley get by. Not to mention my aunt in law never even wanted to have a baby and my uncle pressured her into it. She’s completely brainwashed, saying “well that’s what our bodies are made for!” And now she goes on a tangent about non medicated birth and oh my god guys.

Anyways, she assigned me to be her babysitter when she’s at work, which of course I’ll help out, but I feel like an asshole for believing that their decision to bring a baby into the world is somewhat selfish. Is it just me? I feel stupid lol.

Hello lovely people. I finally got my slot and I'm very excited. Quite nervous, it is surgery after all. I have some questions, some are silly, I know. I met my surgeon last month and she gave me a great feeling. All my friends have been so excited for me and that's such a lovely feeling.

A) Am I just going to be ... Naked on the table the whole time? Lol. I know it shouldn't matter but it feels so vulnerable. She will take out my IUD once I'm under and it just feels so... Violating is too strong but icky to have someone fishing around in there while I'm unconscious.

B) Did you get the whole shoulder pain side effect ? Apparently that's the worst part. Nausea, headaches after waking up?

C) What was your recovery time like? How long did you stay in bed then start moving again?

D) Not related to the surgery but I have been extremely stressed and on edge lately and I'm scared I'm going to bad trip from the anaesthesia. Is that even a thing?

E) How long were you at the hospital for until released to go home? Trying to give my partner a realistic time frame.

Thank you all !!

We have been together for over a decade (F36M45) and have since the beginning talked about being CF and we share the same life views all in all. We have always had a very warm, loving and happy relationship💖

Our former ”CF” friends couple recently had a baby and I have been sad and disappointed about it - happy also for them ofc - even thought I think the now father was baby trapped and didnt have any options. Now they are struggling with being new parents and with everything - sorry not sorry🤷‍♀️.

This event has brought us even closer together in our CF life, we had long talks about their ”decision” and we both agreed (again and still) - our life is perfect and we own our own time- our autonomy. I have been smiling ever since the baby was born, because I am free - forever! I feel like our close friends having this baby has deepened our connection and relationship even more🙏

Has anyone had the same thing happening? People around us can do whatever they want and it just makes us stronger in our decisions and in our life 💖

Hello, my name's Mike and I just learned this subreddit exists! I wanted to rant a little bit and share a controversial point of view with you because I don't get to do this irl or even anywhere else on social media.

Firstly, yes, I fully mean what I said in the title, I hate children in a way I have never hated anything else. I am young and even so, the things people with children spew at me are so obviously bullshit. How could anyone like them? They are disgusting annoying little rats who do nothing but inconvenience the world around them through no fault of their own. They are like this because of the people who raise them, which I obviously hate so much more but I can't help my feelings when it comes to the end result of this poor parenting.

Because, as I believe, 90% of parents do not know how to raise children in a way that doesn't harm them, most children end up all sorts of fucked up. Couple that with the innately annoying way children behave and you got my worst nightmare. I have seen tens of hundreds of badly raised children yet I can't name a single one who I think is not gonna grow up with problems later in life, including myself. I must admit that me being somewhat poorly raised (not by any observable means, I was always a nice respectful child) affects the way I view raising children in general but I gotta say, out off all of the horrors I've heard and read about raising a child still seems like the worst activity anyone could ever voluntarily sign up for.

The disgusting shit (literally) you'd have to face, the money you'd have to basically throw away, the time and effort wasted, the atmosphere, just living with a child and not to mention the pains of being pregnant and giving birth make children the single scariest thing to me. How could anyone want this? WHY? Are these people some kinds of masochists or are they just victims of manipulation and coercion because genuinely I do not understand.

As a result of this hatred of mine, I do not think most people should have children, periodt. I think we should form a kind of system that helps not only with minimizing reckless parenting but also shielding normal people from the inconvenience of having children practically thrown at them everywhere they go. An idea I've had for a while is children born from 2 very heatly people who are scanned while in the womb and mandatorily aborted if there are problems (you know, to prevent the risk of diseases and illnesses that affect our quality of life) who would be raised by trained professionals (so they can grow up in a stable enviroment with no unnecessary pain and trauma) and who are restricted to children specific places (as to not bother the general population). Despite how dystopian my scenario sounds, I genuinely believe this is the best way to minimize pain and maximize happiness in today's world. Too many unstable, mentally ill, stupid or incompetent, poor or just generally unfit people are having kids and as a result millions of kids and people who are seemingly unrelated suffer everyday. Abuse is rampant, the peace is often disturbed by these bratty kids and parent keep getting away with not actually raising their children. As much as I hate kids because of the way they behave, I recognize this is not their fault and I firmly believe there should be a system in place to protect them from harm. The problem with that is that people always bring up eugenics and how it's against human rights but since when is wanting to ruin another person's life because of your incompetence a human right? Since when is wanting to create a full on living person just for your amusement a human right? If someone made a baby in a lab just so they could raise it for fun, people would call them insane but somehow it's fine when you do it biologically?? What the actual fuck honestly...

I think reproduction should be just to keep the human race going, not because you were too stupid to use a condom or because you want a little pet human or because your parents told you, you should have children. The way we reproduce is cruel, we bring too many kids into this world just because we feel like it when we are already overpopulated and lacking in resources because the rich steal them. Instead of doing it because we have to, we do it because we want to, which is absolutely baffling to me. Imagine a mother wolf having cubs just so they could starve or be eaten by birds of prey because she felt like it. We know the world is a bad place to be and we still chose to bring new life into it - if that's not fucked, I don't know what is...

To conclude, I don't think anyone should be having kids for any reason other than to bring forth the human race and the fact that anyone does makes me hate them and their children. Most parents are completely unfit for the job which is why I think having children is not just something any 3 iq motherfucked should be allowed to do. The fact that we let anyone just MAKE PEOPLE is fucking insane actually. Anyway love to all of you child free folks and hopefully sometime soon children won't be viewed as an accessory and will actually be raised properly for once in human history :(

https://www.adoptuskids.org/meet-the-children/search-for-children/search

Next time some one talks about the joys parenthood, how there is no love like a parents love, how parents are more moral because they have to think of their kids, and how even if you not sure about parenthood just have one and it will sort its self out.

Please tell them to take a minute, click on the above link and look at all the adoptable kids in foster care.

Where are their parents? Extended family?

This is what happens when people have kids without making sure they are 100% sure, and don't have the financial and social support system in place.

Ugh I need to rant. Being childfree as a woman can attract the most ignorant comments ever.

When a guy at work found out how old I am (late thirties), he then immediately asked “how many kids do you have, 2?” WTF. Then, without taking a breath, asked: “Are you married? Do you have a partner?” What the actual f*ck.

I told him I don’t have kids and don’t want them and don’t care about getting married either and he said “you’re bisexual then?” I asked him why he asked that and he said that because I don’t want kids he assumed I’m gay (because of course every straight person wants kids 🙄 wtf).

Then he proceeded to tell me “you must have a kid, at least one. You’ll miss out, a kids love is like no other, you’ll miss out on them holding/hugging you with love, and if you don’t have them who will look after you and care for you in the world, a kids love is always there”

UGHHHHHHHH I HATE small minded, ignorant, dumb comments like that! This is why I don’t like to tell people my age unless I know they’re open minded.

How do you tackle comments like this about being childfree?

And do you see how your son and daughter would be thankful to you each having their own-gender-related reasons for not wanting to be in this world?

As an ignorant American, I know there's something in your culture where Japanese adult children typically care for their elderly parents rather than moving then nursing homes or hospice.

But being childfree and not having that safety net, how is that perceived?

Japan also isnt a Christian centered nation to my knowledge, so those "traditional nuclear family values" aren't as embedded as much as in the United States

Ands that’s mentally ill. Someone sympathetic would say that they could never think outside the box and the societal norms. A suspicious one would say that just like they fell into the trap, they want to u fall and suffer with them.

Let's just say that no year in particular has ever made me more thankful to be CF than this year. Allow me to paint you an image from snippets through the day.

• children stomping on the second floor that we could hear from the first floor
• screeching and screaming cause they were playing
• crying when a child didn't get what they wanted
• parents who don't know how to cook attempting to cook and almost ruining the ham meanwhile their spawn is wailing cause they're hungry. Mom then goes "Ohhhh hold on baby! I hear you! I'll be there." 5 mins later. Repeat baby wailing and mom saying the same thing until we had enough of her almost ruining the ham and we took over.
• while I was cooking I heard "Oh, I'm so glad there's so many baabieeess." Ew.
• both twin babies wailing at the top of their lungs at the same time one of the kids starts crying because he wasn't allowed to go outside due to there being a giant hole in the dirt for the pool construction.
• some of my family decided that despite knowing husband and I are both sterilized that they should still push us and try to get us to hold the babies in an effort to see if that would make us want some. (news flash: it did not.)
• Kids having crunchy coughs and not covering their fucking mouths

We are already dreading next year lol.

Anyways, would love to hear if any of you had any similar experiences this wonderful holiday?

I wonder how many people we know or are friends with will eventually regret having kids. Be on the regretful parent subreddit and just turn into bitter resentful people, especially angry about child free adults

It's amazing how everyone has forgotten about the population boom that happened and led to the forced sterilization programs in some countries. How everyone was losing their shit about too many mouths to feed.

Fam, we're fine. Civilization isn't going to collapse. Spread the word far and wide.

I still don't understand what on earth elf on the shelf is entirely about. It's only appeared in the last few years but my goodness am I so glad that I don't participate in that because I don't have children.

Seeing the Facebook pictures from my cousins with their kids having to move the damn thing around the house and I just do not get it.

It makes me so glad that I don't have to worry about the random new Christmas craze that some dumb parent has decided to get involved with and that now I must follow suit overwise my child will be missing out.

My guinea pig is content to receive treats every day of the year and doesn't need some weird toy keeping an eye on him. I even want to pass the store this week that were offering outfits for your elf on the shelf to show the travelling they'd been doing in the year until they appear in your house and creepily stare at your children.

I guess the elf is a aspiring discord moderator...

After confiding in me 2 months ago that she wasn’t sure if she wanted to have children, a very good friend of mine JUST told me she’s pregnant. I’ve seen it coming for a while because her husband REALLY wanted kids and she was on the fence (and we all know how that goes).

I asked her what “changed her mind”- I mean if she’s already pregnant, they were absolutely trying/planning even while she was telling me she wasn’t sure- baffling- and she started telling me about that stupid Dax Shepard podcast where he talks about how he and Kristen Bell decided to have kids based on if their interest/commitment to having children equal up to 100% as a couple. My friend said her husband was at 75% and she was at 25%. So that equals to 100%, so they decided to have kids.

Holy. Shit. So first of all you make a major life decision based on the advice from fucking DAX Shepherd, and second of all you decided to have a kid when you were 25% interested and committed? That is unbelievable. Just absolutely insane. I cannot put into words how irresponsible and sad and fucked I think that is.

Has anyone else heard this? Or know of this? I mean if you take that philosophy at face value, it applies to a person 1% in with a partner 99% in. That’s essentially forced pregnancy. I just can’t wrap my head around it.

I love hosting holidays and Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because it’s just coming together and eating good food. Not too cold and easy for everyone to drive in.

We celebrate with my husbands family during thanksgiving because they live out of state.

Oh my fucking god.

Parent has zero follow-through on punishments. NONE.

They say nothing works and I’m like “Doesn’t seem like you guys have tried following through on punishments.”

I put their kids in timeout and made them stick with the time out (restarting the timer when they talked or when their family spoke to the punished kid) and he immediately acted better.

My husband and I hid in the bedroom this morning just listening to the chaos.

He left the room to find out that one of them (old enough to be potty trained) decided to piss in the floor because he didn’t want to drop his toys to go potty.

My husband started squirting them like they’re cats and he was told he needs to stop because it “breaks their souls”.

I’m just… ugh.

These visits really remind me and him that we made the right choice in remaining child-free.

I was wondering if anyone else has been experiencing increased animosity from parents. Specifically, when they find out I am childfree by choice the man’s behavior gets really odd. I can’t even explain it. It’s almost like they act a bit snobby towards me - like they know more than me because they have children. They also twist or change the discussion back to their child or child rearing that has no impact on the discussion.

The discussion is just riddled with complaints. Then they pepper in how busy snd financially drained they are sort of looking for validation. It’s a bit disturbing. It’s just a strong energy I am feeling lately and it could be the pro-natalist push happening.

I’m trying to figure out how to get away from these miserable people. 😂 I live in a blue state near a city, but it’s still palpable. It’s almost like I need to be around non-parents.

Just what the title says.

It's hard work drumming up the courage to write, as well as going through rejections and revisions. I also think writing is way more empowering than being saddled with a kid. It's not what society values, I guess.

Edit: Thank you, everyone ♥️ You are my people.

I was scrolling through Instagram yesterday, and sometimes, I do read stories related to autism. However, I came across a story on Instagram about how basically, the parent buys whatever the kids points to. The caption on the video read, "Maturity is not buying my autistic child something every time they point at that something or say it's name" then changes infuriatingly to, "Too bad I'm immature". I mean, what the hell, lady? I then read the comments with parents saying they admitted to doing the same. There was one comment that really annoyed me and it was from a parent who said that they were spoiled as a child and they do the same to their kids, also saying that they'll be plenty of time to teach balance. Um, no? Why not teach it NOW while they're still young? Honestly, what are they teaching their kids? I get it, you want to improve on communication skills and you're happy your kid was able to say what they wanted, but, there are other ways rather than buying something every single time! Not only does this put people in a lot of debt, but it teaches a very bad lesson for the kids that they get everything they want, when they want it. What happens when they become adults? It will get worse. Delayed gratification should be taught. I get that some things like this are much harder, but at the end of the day, it's HOW you teach and how long it takes for it to sink in.

As an autistic lady, especially with a single mother, (and caution, I may sound like an old boomer here), I feel fortunate that I had a mother who did NOT buy me something every time, and taught me this valuable tool. Just because your kids are autistic, it doesn't mean manners and discipline, and even valuable lessons like this should be forgoed. My mum did buy me things within reason, but now, I prefer to buy things for myself.

TBF, the mum said she knows thats a problem and she's working on this, but still....

Is anyone leaving the US due to trump's reelection and fears of project2025?

I'm 39 and have no pets. I was thinking of getting a couple due to not getting any younger reasons and always wanting my own, but now with possible threats to my quality of life I'm not sure if I should in case its best to flee the country. I am in a blue state but am still fearful.

My company does allow employees to work outside of the country but I think I'll still need my manager's approval.

Family that is liberal has stated that there's too many checks and a lot of the things that would hurt most people will not get approval from congress but again, I have no idea how this next year will turn out.